EDIT: 08/10/23: Formatting update.


After informing his team that they had passed and to meet up at the Hokage's tower tomorrow for their first mission, Kakashi had immediately used his good leg to Body Flicker away and get to the hospital. Not long later, Hiruzen came by to hear his report.

"Looks like your students did some damage, Kakashi."

"I didn't take them as seriously as I should have," the cyclopian shinobi admitted. "Or I should say, I didn't take Sasuke as seriously as I should have."

"He's the one who cut your tendon?"

"...That was actually Sakura." He relayed the events of the bell test, Hiruzen listening carefully through it all. "Sasuke knew exactly what I'd expect from them all, and set up a plan to take advantage of it," he finished.

"Hmm…" The old man moved to stand by the window, watching the civilians he had sworn to protect go about their business as he considered this information.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Did you know that the Sannin failed the bell test, Kakashi?" This grabbed the injured man's full attention.

"Minato-sensei always said-"

"Minato heard the story from Jiraiya, and you know what he's like." Hiruzen smiled at the thought of his student exaggerating the story to a young Minato. "Orochimaru and Tsunade both grabbed bells, but they did it through individual skill. They completely refused to work together. I only passed them because they fed Jiraiya afterwards. The same way your old team passed, if I remember correctly." The memory was bittersweet for Kakashi. "You know, Naruto reminds me a lot of Jiraiya at his age… And Sasuke of Orochimaru." Kakashi's blood ran cold.

"You don't think he would…"

"I don't, but I didn't think Orochimaru would either. I'm worried about him, Kakashi. Either he genuinely cares about his team and wants to protect the village, or he's manipulating his teammates and lying to you to get what he wants. I only pray it's the former."

"I'll keep a close eye on him, Hokage-sama."


I blinked in surprise when Kakashi casually Body Flickered away, despite only having one good leg.

"Figures he could still move." I turned back to my teammates, who were happily eating the lunches Kakashi had left us, and joined them.

"Sasuke-kun, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead, Sakura."

"Earlier, when we caught Kakashi, you said something about him having something called Sharingan. What was that about?" I put down my lunch.

"The Sharingan," I began, activating my own and pointing at my eye. "Is this."

"Wow, that's freaky!" Naruto blurted out. I shot him an unamused look, and he hastily added "but cool! Freaky but cool!" I grinned.

"Yeah, it's really cool." I explained the Sharingan and its abilities to my teammates. Well, the base Sharingan, anyway. They didn't need to know about the Mangekyou Sharingan just yet, and they certainly didn't need to know about the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan.

"Wait, so you copied the Shadow Clone Jutsu from me! That's cheating!" Naruto accused.

"Yeah, kinda," I acknowledged. "A lot of people hated my clan because of that."

"But if it's an Uchiha ability, how does Kakashi have it? And how did you know about it?" Sakura asked.

"He probably got an eye transplant from an Uchiha. One who trusted him, probably an old teammate who died in the field and wanted him to have it. I knew about it because my clan used to talk about him. They hated the idea of an outsider having the Sharingan. But I don't really like talking about the clan, so can we move on?" They both readily agreed. Naruto didn't like me (for good reason, Sasuke had treated him like shit), but he still understood that there are some lines you have to respect.

That afternoon, since my chakra was still recovering from the test, I decided to forego training and take a walk through the village. I needed some shopping anyway: Sasuke's pantry consisted of nothing but rice, fish, and fucking tomatoes for some reason, and I wanted some different clothes. Some good quality pencils, paintbrushes, and paint would be nice too. So it was that I headed down the village's main road until I came upon the Konoha Shinobi Bank, because of course ninja would have their own bank. I figured Sasuke would have some inheritance from his clan, and since being a shinobi, even a genin, made one a legal adult (which is horribly fucked-up for many, many reasons), I figured I'd have access to it. So I showed up and presented my ninja ID to the teller.

"Ah yes, Uchiha-san. Allow me a moment to fetch the books." She disappeared into the back, and soon returned with a thick book. "Here, Uchiha-san. This is your balance." She laid it down before me and pointed to a number. A very large number.

Fuck me, that's a lot of zeroes. Even if ryo is roughly equivalent to yen, that's still a lot of zeroes.

"Would you like to make a withdrawal?"

"Not right now, thank you, I just wanted to check the balance."

"Of course." She took the book and bowed. "Come back any time." I left the bank in a state of mild shell shock. I expected Sasuke to have a sizeable inheritance, he owned the entire Uchiha compound after all, but I hadn't expected him to be filthy rich.

He must have inherited literally every penny from every clan member who died that day.

After picking up my groceries, I was on the way back to the compound when the sound of shouting caught my ears. It was the familiar voice of a certain blonde loudly calling someone a pervert.

Damnit, Naruto, what have you gotten into now? With a sigh, I Body Flickered toward the source of the disturbance. If he was about to get into a fight, I would be there to back him up.


Iruka Umino was getting poorer by the moment, as Naruto wolfed down his usual amount of ramen. Not that he minded, the boy had the right to it after being put through Kakashi Hatake's infamous bell test and somehow managing to pass. The boy hadn't explained how just yet, and Iruka was dying to hear about it. Team 7, composed of Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha. Such a combination should, by all rights, have been an utter failure. Naruto, whose insane stamina and stubbornness led him to train almost excessively, but who was headstrong and prone to act without thinking, preferring improvisation to planning. Sakura, gifted with a strong mind and perfect chakra control, yet obsessed with Sasuke to the point of neglecting any training beyond the academy basics, instead spending her mental energy on fantasies of becoming Mrs. Uchiha. Sasuke, a natural genius held back by a combination of psychological trauma and extreme arrogance that meant he would likely never be able function as an effective team member, at least not without years of therapy that he had been refusing to accept. Iruka just had to hear the story. He waited for the brief interval after Naruto finishing one bowl and Teuchi having another ready, then seized the opportunity.

"So Naruto, I've heard the bell test is extremely difficult. Why don't you tell me about it?"

Iruka was both shocked and deeply impressed by the way Team 7 had passed the test. He had expected them to pass in the way all other teams before them had, but to actually manage to take the bells as a proper team? Even though Kakashi had clearly underestimated them and not gone all out, it was still an incredible feat. And the fact that Sasuke of all people had been the one to actually unite them… Well, he certainly wouldn't have believed it if anyone other than Naruto had told him. It appeared that something had happened to knock some sense into the Uchiha, but Iruka couldn't imagine what it could be. Still, despite passing the test in spectacular fashion, there was a hint of bitterness to Naruto's retelling of the event.

"Sasuke was way better than Sakura-chan or I," Naruto admitted when pressed. "And he stole my Shadow Clones, too. I had to work really hard to learn that, then he watches me do it once and suddenly he can do it, too. Iruka-sensei, I… I always thought I could be the best if I just worked hard enough, but how can I compete with someone who can perfectly copy anything I do?"

"Naruto…" Iruka understood better than Naruto could know. He remembered the Uchiha who had served on his own genin team so long ago. "Did I ever tell you about my old genin team? One of my partners was a girl called Hanako. Uchiha Hanako." Naruto looked up at him, interested. "She made everything look easy. Every time my other teammate, Akihiko, or I came up with a new technique, she copied it too. Any time we fought someone, she'd copy them. By the time we made our first attempt at the chuunin exams, she'd copied jutsu from pretty much every ninja in our graduating class, and they all hated her for it. But the thing is, no one ever told her why they hated her. So she just ended up alone. No one would talk to her except to insult or ridicule her." Hanako had gone on to kill herself from the loneliness and hatred she had endured combined with the pressure put on her by her clan. It was one of Iruka's biggest regrets that he hadn't tried to help her. He didn't think Naruto was quite ready to handle that, though. Naruto looked down.

"...I know what that's like," he said quietly.

"I know."

"So what should I do?"

"Talk to him," Iruka suggested simply. "Or if you don't think he'll listen, talk to your sensei about it. Kakashi's a good man, Naruto. He'll understand."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Thanks Iruka-sensei!" And with that, Naruto was back to happily eating his ramen, leaving Iruka smiling.

"Boss!" A new voice shouted out from the street outside. "Hey Boss, get out here! I challenge you!" Both Iruka and Naruto recognised it immediately, though where Iruka was confused, Naruto just sighed.

"Konohamaru," he muttered.

"You know Hokage-sama's grandson?"

"It's a long story." Naruto stepped outside, Iruka following curiously.

"What is it, Konohamaru?" Naruto asked lazily.

"I've been training, Boss, and I've surpassed you with your own technique!" Konohamaru claimed. "There's no way you can be Hokage before me now!" He slapped his hands together in the ram seal. "Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Jutsu)!" With a puff of smoke, Konohamaru transformed into a curvaceous naked woman, conveniently censored by persistent smoke clouds covering his breasts and crotch. Naruto sweatdropped.

"Konohamaru that's exactly the same as the last time."

"Nuh-uh, Boss! This time I added an extra three centimetres to her waist!" Konohamaru pointed out smugly. "It's much better than your version!"

"Honourable Grandson!" Naruto groaned in exasperation as Ebisu showed up on the scene, as was inevitable. "I told you not to use such a pedestrian technique! Such a classless jutsu is beneath a man of your standing!"

"Hey, it worked on you, you old pervert!" Naruto shouted back.

Iruka watched on, feeling something between confusion, embarrassment, and horrified fascination as he realised what Naruto had been teaching the Third's grandson. He was about to say something when a slight gust of wind indicated that someone had landed from a Body Flicker behind him. The person in question sighed as they walked up beside him.

"Good evening, Iruka-sensei."

"Sasuke?" When did he learn the Shunshin no Jutsu?


"Good afternoon, Iruka-sensei," I greeted the academy teacher respectfully as we watched Naruto argue with Ebisu.

"Sasuke?" He blinked, apparently surprised to see me. "I didn't expect to see you around here."

"I was shopping." I briefly held up my grocery bags in explanation. "Then I heard Naruto call someone a pervert. Who's that under the transformation?"

"That… Would be the Hokage's grandson."

"And the smug-looking dickhead arguing with Naruto?" Iruka blinked again. Apparently I was very much violating his expectations.

"That's Ebisu, he's an elite shinobi who trained some of the best ninja in the village! You can't just call him a smug dickhead!"

"Just look at his shitty grin, or listen to his tone," I countered. "You can't tell me he looks at Naruto like anything more than trash." Iruka said nothing, likely because, just as I finished, Ebisu said something that proved my point entirely.

"Honourable Grandson, you should not be listening to this worthless failure! He will only drag you down." That did it. Naruto looked like he was about to punch Ebisu. I quickly stepped in.

"Naruto, you really gonna let this loser piss you off?"

"Sasuke?" Naruto turned to look as I stepped up beside him. Ebisu and Konohamaru were staring at me too.

"Hey." I acknowledged the blonde with a nod before turning my attention back to Ebisu. "We put Hatake Kakashi in the hospital a few hours ago. Unless you can do the same, I suggest you watch who you call 'worthless'."

"I don't doubt your abilities, Uchiha-san, but Naruto-"

"Was an essential part of the plan. If you doubt me, we can show you right now. We're missing a teammate and I still haven't recovered my chakra, but..." I activated my Sharingan and glared at him, just for a little extra intimidation. "You're so far beneath Kakashi-sensei's level that it wouldn't matter." He looked at us, calculating. I was taking a big risk here: while Ebisu was definitely far, far weaker than Kakashi, our sensei had been holding back because he didn't expect much of us, and we had time to make a proper plan against him. If I was at full chakra capacity, I still wouldn't be worried, but right now I was way too low for a fight. If he called my bluff, our only hope would be to hit him with a genjutsu right out of the gate and hope he couldn't break it before Naruto's massed clones gave him a beatdown. If we failed, we'd be humiliated. But by the same token, if Ebisu failed, he'd be humiliated. I was banking both on him caring more about the potential loss of reputation than about smacking down two genin, and on him being unaware of just how easy Kakashi had gone against us. Fortunately, he backed down.

"...Very well. If you really beat Hatake-san, then I may have underestimated you, Naruto-san. Honourable Grandson, it is time for your training. Please do come along." Konohamaru reverted to his normal state and followed his sensei away.

Once they were sufficiently far away, I let out the breath I had been holding and deactivated my dojutsu.

"Damn, that was close," I muttered.

"What? We could totally take him! You said it yourself!"

"Naruto, I was bluffing. It's only been a few hours since the test. I know you have the stamina to keep going like nothing happened, but I can't keep up with you. If we had fought him, I would have been limited to a single weak genjutsu and my shuriken," I explained. "You would have mostly been on your own. You still might have been able to beat him down with your clones if you made a couple dozen, but it wouldn't have been a sure thing."

"Nah, we would've been fine!" He assured me. "I've got my secret weapon." He quickly rushed through four seals. "Harem no Jutsu!" In an instant I was surrounded by naked blonde girls, again censored by convenient smoke puffs. I blinked.

I can't believe I forgot about the Harem Jutsu. Of course that would have worked! "Huh. Not bad. You know, if I was capable of feeling attraction based on looks alone, that might actually work on me." And if I didn't know it was a thirteen-year-old under there. A blast of smoke, and Naruto's clones disappeared, while he returned to his normal state.

"Yeah? Well, you try do better!"

"It's not about doing better. There's nothing wrong with your technique, I'm just not the type of person it works on. Besides, I couldn't do that jutsu even if I wasn't tired." Naruto looked confused.

"Couldn't you just copy it with your Sharingan?"

"No, I need to physically be able to use a technique if I want to copy it. If I tried to make that many Shadow Clones at once, I'd drop dead on the spot from chakra exhaustion." Naruto looked relieved when I told him that. He was worried I'd overshadow him, I realised. In canon, Sasuke's arsenal and Naruto's arsenal hadn't really overlapped. The Chidori and Rasengan were both similar, but the latter was stronger than the former. Late in the war arc, the Perfect Susano'o and the Kurama Avatar were also similar in basic function, but outside of those examples, they were really quite different fighters. I should have known Naruto would be worried about his own ability if I started straight-up copying his jutsu. Alright, no Rasengan for me then. As much as I would love to make my own Fire or Lightning Release variant of the jutsu, I didn't want to step on Naruto's toes. He needed his own 'thing' in combat. I also decided then that I wouldn't steal any hiden jutsu from the clans, since that would no doubt royally piss them off. Even if Shadow Possession was incredibly cool.

I was still going to crib Lee's taijutsu style though, if only for emergencies.

And stealing from the enemy was totally fair game, like Itachi's finger genjutsu or Kisame's chakra-eating shark bomb.

And most of Kakashi's techniques were stolen during the last war, so stealing from him was kind of like stealing from the enemy.

Okay, I was absolutely going to abuse the Sharingan's copy ability to a degree we never got to see in canon, but in my defence, I was going to be fighting for my life. All's fair in love and war, after all, and war was definitely on the horizon. Well, unless I somehow managed to kill Orochimaru and all of his curse mark bearers, Kabuto, Obito, Nagato, and Black Zetsu so that there was no one around who could possibly revive Madara or convince someone else to do so.

Shit, I'm really going to have to win a war and seal an alien in the moon, aren't I?