She was probably giving them an excuse. Well, that's what it felt like, anyway. Time changes people. Unless they didn't want to change. It was all so philosophical. Like the perpetual sunset at the end of the shows she used to love. Why couldn't a show open with a sunset? It could, right? The directors just didn't want to, and why not? What did it mean?
Usagi sighed. It was all so different now. When Luna had first found her she really had no idea what she was doing, and when you're a teenager looking down the prospect of mortal danger that kind of brainlessness is useful. Or supremely stupid. She looked over the horizon from their campsite a mile away from the towering wall of crackling energy. Makoto and Hanlan were so at ease with each other. Even Minako with her funny looking friend, Carbie and the half cyborg...Stan, no...Stay...um, Steinbeck. Yeah. Wasn't he a little old for her?
Garen seemed undisturbed by the late-autumn chill. His upper lip curled in something like a snarl followed by a friendly smile when asked and he explained, "Nah, this? Grew up in the eastern cold. Snow up to my nose most of the year. Not even a flake now? This ain't cold."
Plainly enough; he refused any notion of extra layering provided by Minako before their departure. That autumn chill brushed up against Usagi's heavy jacket and reinforced the stark redness of her cheeks. She lifted the steaming mug to her mouth and sipped; cinnamon and maple. Too sweet…no…bitter? Too something for her liking, but warm enough. It was sunset, and the caramel horizon seemed foreboding. An ending, not a beginning.
Oh. That's what it meant. Whatever. They were still waiting for the man who knew how to get them home. Usagi's eyes followed Makoto's baby heavy stomach as she crossed over to her and slowly sat down. Garen offered a hand for assistance, but Makoto merely raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled and sat back down on the stump he'd chosen for his comfort.
"You're so pregnant you could pop at any time," Usagi said and giggled as Makoto arranged herself on the makeshift bench. It was delightful to see the smile on Makoto's normally determined face. She was always the gentle one even though she was the most physical of the senshi.
"Practicing English, Usagi? What for?" Makoto said, and Usagi noticed how she managed her posture with her protruding belly under a jacket much like her own.
"I'm not a practicing. I...guess I wasn't thinking. Just the three of us...and your husband...speak Japanese, right? I thought it was rude. Maybe?" Usagi said, and took another sip of her tea. "Uhn, this isn't very good. Anyway, you aren't worried?"
"Worried? No. Scared? Yes," Makoto said. "Where's the nearest hospital, neh? But...maybe I'm not that worried; I've had nothing before...and all I needed was friends to get me through my fear. I have family now, and I'm about to have more. I'm scared if something happens I won't be there, but I know Hanlan will be. And you. Right?"
"And Minako," Usagi added with a subtle smile.
"Shore, an' me," Garen said.
"Goes without sayin," Hanlan said from the campfire. "We can't be rid of ya."
"Nope!" Garen said and laughed heartily.
"Anyway," Usagi said, "Steinbeck said he's trained in such things. Strange thing for a mech pilot to be trained in, but Minako's always been so resourceful. Don't you think there's something between her and Crabby?"
Makoto's eyes went wide, but then she nodded. She said, "You mean Carbie. Yes, I asked Minako about it, and it's one-sided. That's what she said, at any...ooh..." she winced and laid a hand on her stomach, "that was something." Usagi moved to stand but Makoto raised a hand and said, comfortingly, "I'm okay."
"You're not going into labor, are you? Isn't this the time it would be dramatic to do so?" Usagi said, anxious.
"Not likely," Garen said offhandedly.
Makoto chuckled and nodded at him, then said, "It would, but I don't think so. I've got a couple months—we think—but I think this little guy wants to be a footballer. That was a pretty good kick," Makoto said and once again in her comforting manner. Usagi wanted to feel the baby kicking, but it was so cold outside.
"Guy? As in boy? You already know?" Usagi asked, fidgeting.
"Yes...it's what they are, boys. Hey...Usagi, you know you've only got to ask," Makoto said and Usagi gasped. Usagi suspected that mothers developed a sort of special sense, and perhaps Makoto had that already. She had always thought Makoto would be an amazing mother.
"But it's so cold, is it really okay?" Usagi said even as she shifted to sit beside Makoto, who opened a few buttons of her jacket with a relaxed attitude. Usagi set down her drink and reached with her flesh and blood hand and placed it on Makoto's stomach. At first there was no movement, but within a few moments she felt pressure against her hand. It was short, and probably like a kick. Garen leaned forward but didn't say a word.
"Oh! I felt that! That was him! Oh of course your baby would be strong," Usagi said, face lit with warmth. "Any names yet?"
Makoto chuckled and her gaze went to the dimming amber lancing through the trees. She smirked and said, "C'mon Usagi, wouldn't you and Mamoru have gone through dozens of names by now? Maybe hundr—oh...I'm sorry."
Usagi sniffed and shook her head and said, "No, it's okay. I'm fine with a capital F. I want to go back. We are going back. But Hanlan is right. I'm scared Mamoru won't want me anymore. And there's...something else."
"I'm listening..." Makoto began, but then their attention was distracted by Minako's voice calling out to them.
"Cornguts is here!"
Usagi giggled, then laughed at the absurdity of it, and Makoto shrugged. She took Usagi's hand, looking intently into her eyes and said, "What was it you were going to say?"
"No, no...not now. Um..." Usagi said and stood up abruptly. "Shouldn't we go?"
Makoto twisted her lips in consideration, held her gaze on Usagi, then nodded. She said, "Let's go."
When she saw him the first things she noticed were the beaded cornrows of hair atop his skull. Blankly his dark eyes tracked her and he frowned. He raised a hand and opened his mouth as though he had something to say. Then he shook his head.
"C'mon, you said were ready for this," Minako said, grumbling. His robe was decidedly more suitable to the environment this time in its greens and mottled brows.
"Oh this! Not quite camouflage, but the next best thing. Dyed it myself," he spouted and Usagi looked confused. He grinned at her and said, "Don't say dye, say ACME Instant Tint! Taint what you need. Oh…I'm sorry, that's even more perlexing, isn't it?"
"I think he means 'perplexing'," Makoto intoned at Usagi, standing at her side. Cornguts whirled at her and said:
"Maybe I do, just maybe! Now, there's about two, maybe three hundred grunts down at that Rift," Cornguts said with a flourish of his arm.
"Oh this guy is a regular card," Garen said, close to Usagi's shoulder. Usagi glanced back at him and shrugged.
"Yes, they've set up a camp. Ami suspected they might do that once they proved the rift was viable," Minako said.
"Sho nuff. Dieselcake's got us with a distraction," Gary said with a broad, infectious smile. "It will be little, yellow, different. No, I mean big, snarly and dangerous!" He said, arms raised and fingers flailing. "Gonna go when we say go."
"Yer logic is dizzying, Corny," Hanlan said at a low rumble.
"Don't care if it is, s'long as he gets the job done," Garen said.
"Don't like it, but you're right," Hanlan admitted.
"Who is Dieselcake?" Usagi asked, and Gary's smile brimmed with unbridled joy.
"My wife. She is the sugar in my everything," he said, and Usagi caught herself smiling at his unfettered happiness.
"Thought you were going to throw another slogan at us," Minako said, "but that was kinda sweet."
"Yeah!" Usagi chimed and Minako regarded her skeptically.
Gary, however, looked serious when he said, "Talking about her is the only time my head gets defogged. Crystal clear like glass. Say, your friend going to be ready for our escapade?"
Usagi looked back at Carbie and the half-man Minako affectionately called 'Beck', wondering much the same. Minako had explained that she had seen to some mobility upgrades for her friend, and so she expected no problems. Beck seemed to be eager to move. Minako simply nodded at Gary, who then looked to Usagi.
"I hear tell you're in charge," he said, and Usagi blanched.
"Me? I…ah…um…" she said, stammering. This was just she wanted to avoid. Everyone looked at her, and she felt the weight of a ton on her shoulders, bearing down. She swallowed, glanced at Makoto, who nodded reassuringly. Garen smirked at her and leaned in close once again.
"Listen, Bunny, ya gots one chance to look confident, an he's done all the work," he intoned. "Just delegate."
"Do what?" Usagi whispered, distressed.
"Take his advice."
Oh, well, she knew how to do that. Rei sometimes knew better how to handle things than anyone, and trusting her was easy. She pondered what to say, regard Garen and smiled softly.
"You know the region best. I think way better than me, for sure…" Usagi said and her voice trailed off. Gary pursed his lips, glanced about, and then smiled.
"Awrite. That's smart," he said.
Usagi's smile was only a glimmer, but it satisfied Gary. Garen smirked and patted Usagi's shoulder.
"So, if we're all ready," she said and gauged the state of the group. At the drop of a hat, as Carl would say, they did look ready. "Yeah, we're ready, so…when you want to start, we only need to know what to do."
"It's a mile hike to the camp, that's what we start with. Should be pitch dark when we get close enough for the distraction," Gary said. "Not late now, only 1630 hours. Short hike."
So without further discussion they packed up and moved out. Usagi reflected that she wouldn't have so amicably consented to his plan six years ago. She would have spent the entire time complaining and crying about bow uncomfortable she was, how she didn't want to do it. She really was that whiny back then.
She anticipated a remark from Minako, Makoto or even Gary about it. He seemed to know all kinds of strange things, but no one seemed to be in a joking mood. Though they had heard of Rei's survival, the length of her coma only solidified the danger they confronted. Sure enough it was dark, the entire mountainside eclipsed by pale moonlight.
"We stop here, in the Serious Moonlight," Gary ordered, and Carbie chuckled.
"B, what is it?" Minako asked, hushed.
"Nothing, unless you're a Bowie fan," she replied.
Usagi didn't feel like she was in charge. Minako and everyone seemed to know what they were doing, and she was nervous to betray her confusion. Garen skulked up to her, frowned and said, "Ya look sad-sack clueless, kiddo. An' don't pretend yer not, cause friends know."
Usagi felt her shoulders wound up and they began to unspool at his observation. Rei usually called her out, but at least with him there weren't any complicated feelings about Mamoru. She wanted to slouch, she even tried, but she let out a sigh instead.
Garen pulled something out of his pocket and stuck it in his mouth, and chewed as he said, "I'm gonna guess you're afraid to be Sailor Moon again."
Even though she was accustomed to his terrible manners, it would be so much the worse to be without his compassion and friendship. Once again she overlooked his brusque behaviour, and said, "How did you know that?"
She expected a shrug, maybe something to take the tension off, but he looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I know what it is ta be gunshy. Ah mean, not once did ya pick up a gun during our stint as bounty hunters."
Usagi squinted in defiance at him, then said, "We abandoned our home. You think no one will notice?"
"Or care?" Garen retorted. "You don't. Flak, I don't!" Usagi went quiet when Garen expected a terse rebuttal. He frowned, then said, "Usagi, mebbe you think I wasn't listening before you went quiet all that time, but you talked about yer friends like nothing but them all mattered. Let the world burn. Do ya think I don't get that?"
Usagi stared at her gruff friend, and watched his face wrinkle and lip curl. He bowed his head and turned away, shoulders bunched. Her heart ached as he sat, face buried in his hands. She neared him and reached for his shoulder. He was crying, but holding it in; sticks driven into the sand against a tsunami.
"Garen…" Usagi began, "I'm sorry."
He didn't answer for a while, and Usagi, not knowing what else to do, sat beside him and waited. Eventually, he turned and said, "Ya got a cloth?"
"Uhm, yes," she responded and one out of a pocket. He wiped his face and then blew his nose.
"Ah'll wash this an' get it back to ya," Garen said softly.
"Uh-hm," Usagi said. "Are you okay?"
"No," Garen said, "Think I'm in love with ya, but I know yer already…you already got a guy. Won't shut up about him."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Garen said. The note of finality was certain. There wasn't about to be a change of heart. In hers there was only room for Mamoru.
"Does it…hurt to be my friend?"
"Huh? But I never…thought of it like that," Garen said and pondered. "No, I'd rather be yer friend than not be close to ya at all. Scattercladdin'…I love ya like a sister, not a…if that's how it's gotta be."
Usagi wondered if he could chose like that. Maybe he could. Then she wondered if she chose to love Mamoru, or if it was always there. When did it start? Did it matter?
"Hey now! Time to go!" called Cornguts.
Usagi supposed that he was right.
