14

"You okay?"

Bella turned, finding Garrett standing a few feet away from her. She looked from him to the back deck, where she saw Ben with Jasper's phone pressed against his ear and Edward standing in front of Jasper with his hands on his shoulders, like he was trying to keep him from doing something very, very stupid, which he probably was.

Jasper and Edward had been best friends since their first day at the University of Washington when a computer program randomly put the two in the same dorm room. Edward was fiercely protective of Jasper and vice versa. When Edward 'came out of the closet' so to speak, Jasper simply shrugged his shoulders and bought him a box of condoms and reminded him that just because he was gay didn't mean he didn't have to wrap it up.

"No," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders before she turned and looked at the water. "Are you okay, Garrett?"

"Better now that I know you're not dead."

She shook her head, feeling him step up next to her, sliding his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. She felt her eyes fill with tears as she leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to keep from sobbing like a baby.

"It got so hard, you know? To pretend with you, all of you, that things with mom were okay. You'd be telling me about school and labs, and dammit, Garrett, I was jealous, because I wanted to dissect bodies and play with organs, but I couldn't, because most days Mom doesn't even say one kind word to me."

"You didn't have to pretend, Swan. We wanted to be there for you, be there to help you. All you had to do was let us."

"I did, though," she said, looking over at him. "Because you had to go to medical school and become an amazing doctor, and Edward had to go medical school, and so did everyone else, Gar. If I had told you, really told you, how bad things were, you would have been there every fucking day. That's why I didn't tell you, because it was hard enough knowing that I was going to have to give up the rest of my life for her, I didn't want you to give up the rest of yours."

"Well, that was stupid."

Bella laughed. "I know, I know. I just . . ." She bit her lip and looked back up at the house before turning her attention back onto the Garrett. "You know what I want to do right now?"

"Well, I know who you want to do," he said with a smirk.

Bella laughed and rolled her eyes. "Touché, but I was thinking I really want to go swimming."

"Swimming?"

Bella nodded and kicked off her shoes. "Let's go swimming, Gar."

"I don't want to go swimming," he said, folding his arms in front of him.

Bella turned so that she was facing him and reached for the hem of her T-shirt, pulling it up and over her head. Garrett's eyes closed and he put his hands up, almost grabbing her boobs. "I'm wearing a bra, idiot."

His eyes barely opened before he sighed in relief. "Oh. Thank God. Sorry, but I don't like boobies."

Bella laughed and grabbed the front of her shorts. "I dare you to go swimming with me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you just dare me, Swan?"

"I did. In fact, I double dog dare you to take your clothes off and go swimming with me. Wait," she said, putting her hand up. "Keep your underwear on."

Garrett laughed before he reached behind him and tugged his shirt off. "Nice amendment, woman."

"Well, I don't need to see your penis, Garrett."

"Again."

She laughed. "Again."

Bella pushed her shorts down her legs, and kicked them to the side. While she waited for Garrett to strip off the rest of his clothes, she looked over at the back deck, finding Edward with his hands still on Jasper's shoulder, while Ben was yelling, "I don't fucking care, Dad!" at the top of his lungs.

"Hey, come on." Garrett placed his hand on her elbow and pulled her attention away from the lake house and back to him. "I have a dare to accept."

"Yeah."

Bella spared Jasper another glance before she and Garrett turned and ran toward the edge of the lake. Garrett wrapped his hand around her as they trotted into the water. Once the lake was hitting the middle of Bella's chest, they turned and fell back into the water. Breaking back through the surface, she laughed and turned toward Garrett, who was watching her.

"I thought he would be better off without me," she whimpered, shaking her head. "I just . . . I was afraid."

"What were you afraid of?"

Bella felt her eyes well up with tears. "I was afraid he would resent me."

"Resent you how?"

She ran her hands over the water, but she shook her head, unsure she should be honest with him.

"Resent you how, Bella?"

"Resent me for, I don't know, making him choose me."

"You thought he would regret picking you over what? His dream of becoming a surgeon?"

Bella nodded, but looked away.

"Well, that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard."

Bella shifted her eyes back to him. "I know."

"Do you? Because if you did, how could you think he wouldn't give up everything for you, Bella?"

"That's the problem, Garrett. I knew he would give up everything for me, but he shouldn't have had to."

"Neither should you."

"No, I shouldn't, but there was nobody else to take care of her."

Garrett swam up her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "None of us blame you for making the decision to take care of your mom, Bella. Hell, the rest of them had the kind of moms that they would do the same for, but ask yourself what you would have done if Rosalie's mom was the one who had gotten hurt? Or Kate's? Or Edward's?"

She rolled her eyes. "Look at you being all logical and smart."

Garrett laughed and pushed her away. "I'm just saying, you wouldn't have let them suffer alone for three years, two months, seventeen days."

"No, I wouldn't have," she admitted.

"Then don't let yourself suffer, Swan. You know, we all love you more than him."

"Nobody loves me more than him."

"We're all a pretty close second, though, right?"

"Tied for fourth. After Alice and Ben, of course."

"Of course." Garrett nodded, tilting his head to the side. "You feel better now?"

"Not really," she confessed. "But thanks for trying. I just . . . I don't know. Peter's never talked to me like that before."

"What exactly did he say?"

But before she could tell him, the sound of the others, drew their attention away, and Bella swan backward before she looked over and finding everyone, but Jasper, Edward, and Ben, stripping down to their underwear and hurrying into the water. Bella threw Garrett a look before she swam back toward the shoreline, and walking out of the water. She grabbed her clothes on the way, slipping her shirt on, but not bothering with the shorts as she walked back up the back deck and into the kitchen, where she found Ben and Edward, but no Jasper. The two stopped talking when they saw her, but the look they shared had her nervous.

"Where is he?"

"He's upstairs," Ben said, tilting his head upward. "I'm sorry about Dad."

Bella nodded. "Yeah, me too."

She wrapped her arms around her torso before she turned and walked out of the kitchen, through the living room, upstairs, and down the hallway, pausing outside of the bedroom on the right side of the hallway. She bit the inside of her lip before she reached out and gripped the doorknob, turned it slowly, and pushed it open, feeling like her heart was in her throat as she stepped into the room, finding Jasper sitting on the side of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

"Ben, I said I needed a Goddamn minute," Jasper snapped, lifting his head. His eyes were full of anger before he saw her, then they softened and he hurried to his feet, rushing toward her, and wrapping her in his arms, burying his face against the side of her neck. "I am so sorry, Cricket. I am just so, so, so fucking sorry for him. He's just . . . He's Dad, and I fucked a lot of shit up, and he's never really forgiven me for fucking shit up."

"Shh, Jay, it's okay."

"No, no, it's not okay." Jasper groaned and leaned away. "He just worries about me, worries that I'll . . . I'll fall apart again if . . . if you leave me again."

"I thought you weren't letting me go again."

He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't plan on it, but I never planned on it before, either."

"Guess I deserve that."

"I didn't mean it like that, Cricket."

"Didn't you?"

Jasper sighed and gripped the back of his neck. "Fine, maybe I did."

Bella nodded and tossed her shorts onto the bed before folding her arms in front of her. "Fine, you want do this, let's do it. I made a decision, Jay, a decision that I thought was the right one to make at the time."

"You made a decision, Cricket. You made a decision that affected both of us, and you did it without even talking to me. I . . . I've loved you since the second I saw you. You're mine; you're my Cricket, and you just made this decision to leave me. How could you just kick me out like that? You just . . . I . . ." Jasper's lips trembled as he sat back on the side of the bed, his hands resting on his knees. "I didn't care about medical school, or becoming a surgeon, Cricket. I just wanted you."

Bella slid to the floor, pulling her knees up in front of her, wrapping her arms around them. "I wanted you, too. I still do, Jay, but I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?" he asked, sliding from the bed and onto the floor, crawling over so that he was sitting in front of her.

Tears swelled in her eyes, and though she tried, she couldn't keep them from falling. "I'm scared that you're going to realize that my life is boring and hard and you're going to realize that I'm not worth wasting your time on, and I . . . I love you so much, Jay. I've always loved you, and it scares me that one day, you're going to realize that I'm not worth giving everything up for."

"Oh, sweetheart." Jasper scooted over and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap, ignoring that her shirt was still wet from her swim. "My life, my happiness, is tied to you. Hearing your voice, seeing you standing in the doorway, it was the first time I felt anything in a long time. I need you, Cricket. I can't . . . I can't live without you. Please, just . . . just let me love you."

"I love you, too, Jay." Bella brought her hands up to the sides of his face, tilting his head back so she could look him in the eyes. "I don't want to a life without you, not again. I . . . I can't have a life without you again, Jay."

"Promise?"

"I promise, love, I promise."

Jasper leaned in, pressing his lips against hers once, twice, and then a third time before he forced his tongue into her mouth, his arms tightening around her, pressing the fronts of their bodies against each other's. Bella moaned, which only seemed to spur Jasper on seeing as he shifted them so that she was laying on the floor with the weight of his body on top of her. Bella found herself clawing onto his hips, trying to pull him down more, needing to feel him inside her, feel him take her with wild abandonment, but before she could even pull onto his shirt, she heard her phone start ringing from the pocket of her shorts.

She was tempted to ignore it, but the only person who ever called her was Heidi. Groaning, Bella moved her hands to Jasper's chest and pushed on him. "Jay, Jay, I need to get that."

"They can leave a message," he growled, attacking her neck with his tongue and her eyes rolled backward. Her phone stopped ringing, but when it started again, she knew it was important, so she used more force and pushed harder. "Cricket."

"I have to answer my phone."

Bella gave him a look, causing him to groan and roll off her and lay on the floor with his hands covering his eyes, and his very clear and obvious erection evident based on the way his shorts were tented. Bella scrambled to her feet and hurried over to the bed and dug her phone out of the pocket. She turned it over, her heart clenching in her chest when she saw she had missed two calls from Heidi.

Bella's eyes closed for a minute before she took a deep breath and called her back. The phone barely rang when she heard a click, followed by a breathy, timid, "Bella."

"What's wrong?"

"Bella, I don't even know what happened. She was fine. All day, she was . . . fine."

"Heidi, what happened?"

There was the briefest of pauses before Heidi said, "She fell, Bella. She fell and hit her head. Hard."

"Is she okay?"

"She lost consciousness. I called an ambulance, and, um, called Dr. Biers. Honey, she . . . hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"How long? How long has she been unconscious?"

"About three minutes. The paramedics just got here, and Dr. Biers is having her life-flighted to Seattle, over to UW Medical Center. He's already in the city, said it will be faster than him trying to get to her here in Bainbridge."

"Oh, my God," Bella cried, falling onto the side of the bed. "Heidi, how did this happen?"

"I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, and she . . . I don't know, Bella, she started screaming that I had stolen her engagement ring, told me to get out, but I couldn't leave her alone, and Demetri had run to the market to get some milk and coffee, and she . . . Well, she came at me with a knife, Bella. I don't even know where she got it. I got it away from her without any trouble, but she . . . well, she started to run upstairs, and missed a step, and fell. I'm sorry, Bella, I am so sorry."

Bella covered her mouth with her hand, and nodded, feeling her tears sliding down her face. A moment later, she felt Jasper wrap his arm around her as he sat on the bed next to her, and she looked up at him. "I will meet you at the hospital, okay? It's going to take me a while to get there, but I . . . I will meet you there, okay? Stay with her, Heidi. Please, just stay with her."

"I will not leave her side, honey. I promise. Just . . . Just hurry."

Jasper slipped the phone out of her hand, bringing it to his ear. "I'll make sure she gets there safe . . . Yes, this is he." He raised an eyebrow and looked over at Bella. "She said that, huh?" Jasper smiled. "I'll make you a deal, Heidi. You take care of Renee until we get there, and I'll take of her. Is that a deal? . . . Okay . . . okay. . . Bye."

Jasper ended the call and stood up, stretching his hands out in front of him. "Come on, Cricket. We need to get on the road."

"What did she say to you?" Bella asked, standing up and walking over to her suitcase, pulling out a dry pair of panties and a pair of jeans, tossing them on the bed before she added a dry shirt.

He walked over to her, grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting her arms as he helped her take it off. He removed her wet bra and picked up her dry T-shirt and gave it to her to put on. "She asked if I was the idiot who let you push him away. I confirmed that I was said idiot, and then she told me that you talked about me all the time, especially to your mom."

Bella bit the inside of her lip as she nodded. "She always liked you, and sometimes, talking about you . . . calmed her down. You and Dad."

Jasper smiled. "And then I promised to make sure you got to your mom safely, so we'd better hurry."

"You don't have to come with me."

"I know I don't have to do anything," he said, giving her a look. "But I want to be with you, Cricket."

Bella brought her hand to her mouth as her tears welled up in her eyes. "Jay, I can't . . . I can't lose her too. I can't lose her, too."

"I know, sweetheart," he whispered, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head. "Let's just hurry."

Bella nodded and in a matter of minutes, she was wearing dry clothes, and the two of them had packed their belongings and were on their way downstairs. When they stepped off the bottom step, everyone turned and looked from them to their luggage in their hands and back up to them.

"What's going on?" Alice asked. "Where are you going?"

"I have to leave. I'm sorry, I have to . . ." Bella shook her head, dislodging her tears again.

"Renee fell," Jasper told them. "They're rushing her to UW Medical Center in Seattle."

"Oh, my God," Alice cried, covering her mouth with her hands as she stood up. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Bella whimpered.

Jasper tightened his arm around her. "We don't know."

"Okay, Okay, here's what we're going to do," Ben said, standing up and wrapping his arm around Alice and looking at everyone, his eyes landing on Edward and Garrett first. "You two should go with them. The rest of us will pack our stuff and be about an hour behind you. Just text us updates when you can, okay?"

"You don't have to come with us." As soon as the words left Bella's mouth, every single one of them, turned and glared at her. "I'm just saying, you don't have to give up your weekend at the lake for . . . for me."

"Maybe we haven't been clear," Carlisle said, folding his arms in front of him. "We, all of us, are here for you, Swan. We, all of us, are going to step up and help with your mom."

"And that means being there for you," Esme added, sliding her hand along the front of Carlisle's arm.

"So stop being so fucking stubborn and let us come with you," Rosalie quipped, while Emmett, Kate, and Angela nodded, each and every one of them raising an eyebrow as if to dare her to challenge them.

Bella sighed. "I don't have time to stand here and argue. So, thanks, or you know, whatever."

"Damn, girl, why you gotta be so fucking stubborn." Ben hurried over and pulled her into his arms, kissing the side of her head. "We love you, Swan. We love you and Renee."

Bella sniffed back her tears. "I love you, too, Ben."

He kissed the side of her head again before he leaned away and looked at Jasper and held out the keys to his car. "Don't drive like an asshole."

"Like I would," Jasper muttered under his breath as he placed his hand on the small of Bella's back and led her to the front door with Edward and Garrett following.

Jasper and Garrett placed their suitcases in the trunk of Ben's car, while Edward opened the front passenger door for Bella. She paused and looked back up at the front porch, and for the millionth time in the last five minutes, she felt her eyes fill with tears. They were her people, always had been her people. As she climbed into the front seat, and pulled her seatbelt on, all she could think about was her mother. Renee had needed her, but instead of being there for her, she had spent the last two days thinking only of herself. How could she be so selfish?

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