RIDDLE ME THIS

Written by Zack Wanzer, Rachel Ravens and Cameron Stevens

Set during Series 19

The shunting yards at Knapford are amongst the busiest yards on the whole North Western Railway. The yards have their own group of dedicated shunters to help arrange trains and put trucks and coaches into their proper places. One of the engines who was assigned there full time was called Charlie, a purple saddle tank engine with six red wheels and the number fourteen on his cab. Although he worked as hard as the rest of the shunters, Charlie was fairly laid-back and loved to pass the time by telling jokes to anyone who'd listen.

"Hey, Paxton! How does an engine get so good at their job?"

"Hmm… okay, I give up," Paxton replied. "How does an engine get so good at their job?"

"By training!" Charlie and Paxton both broke into peals of laughter before Stanley came up alongside, blowing his whistle.

"Joking again, Charlie?" grunted Stanley. "There's lots of shunting to be done!"

"Alright, alright, cool your pistons, Stan," huffed Charlie, following after the silver tank engine. "It was only a few minutes, honestly!"

"Be sure to think of another joke when I get back!" called Paxton, also setting off with a line of empty trucks. "I may tell it to Luke at the Blue Mountain Quarry."

"Sounds great," said Charlie.

"It isn't so great when your carelessness leads to engines taking the wrong coaches," Stanley huffed. "Need I remind you of when Caitlin ended up with Annie and Clarabel?!"

"I said I was sorry for that, jeez!" argued Charlie. "Why does everyone have to get my bunker about it?!"

"Be lucky Thomas isn't here right now," grunted Stanley. "He'd really give you something to think about." Charlie said nothing to that.


The next couple of days were uneventful. But one day, however, Stanley was helping to arrange the red coaches for Henry's local train.

"Another day, another train leaving right on… Great Railway above!" cried Sean; his brothers all glanced up in surprise.

"I don't know if we are going to leave on time now," said Mick.

"Why, what do you mean?" asked Stanley.

"The clock!" gasped Harry. "It's gone!"

Stanley looked up and gasped with shock; as Harry had just said, the clock telling the passengers what time it was had gone missing.

"Unless passengers have a watch or ask the station staff for the time," said Stanley, "there's going to be a great deal of confusion and delay. Sir Topham Hatt won't like this!"

Just then, Charlie arrived with Gordon's express coaches.

"Hey, what's the time, Mr. Wolf… oh?!" he gasped in surprise. "Huh… I guess we can't exactly play that game right now."

"Well, of course we can't play any games, because the clock's been stolen!" retorted Stanley. "This isn't a laughing matter, Charlie, especially if we don't know when trains are due to depart!"

"No, I can see that," sighed Charlie. He looked around the platform, trying to see if maybe the clock had smashed to the ground. "Hmm… oh! That bit of paper wasn't there before."

"What bit of paper?" asked Stanley. Charlie's driver went to retrieve it, and showed it to the two engines.

"Hmm… 'I am rough and hard, but gentle and calm. If the skies are red, that's cause for alarm. Fast moving sometimes, but also slow. Where do you think I want to go?'"

Stanley raised an eyebrow incredulously. "What sort of nonsense is that?!"

"Oh, it's a riddle!" cried Charlie. "Ooh, if there's one thing I like more than jokes, it's riddles. It's like a puzzle to work out."

"Just what we needed," groaned Stanley. "Charlie's mysterious comedy buddy."

"Nice ring to it, Stanley," grinned Charlie. "Hmm… 'red skies…' I know I've heard something like that before." He gasped. "Of course! Porter told me that the tugs use a slogan about a red sky."

"Oh, you mean, 'red sky at night, sailor's delight?'" asked Stanley.

"'Red sky in the morning, sailor's warning,'" finished Charlie. "That must mean that the thieves are leading us to one of the harbors by the sea. Brendam docks is the biggest harbor, so we should start there!"

And so without wasting another moment, the two engines headed off to Brendam Docks.


Down at Brendam docks, Salty and Porter were looking around when they heard a pair of whistles.

"Ah, Charlie and Stanley!" said Salty. "Are we glad to see you, mateys."

"Some of the crates of fish have gone missing," said Porter.

"Hmm… sounds 'fishy' to me!" Charlie said with a chuckle.

"Very funny," mumbled Stanley with a sarcastic tone. "This isn't the time for jokes; we have a riddle to find and solve!" Charlie regained his composure, remembering why they came to the docks in the first place.

"Hey, you lot!" called Cranky. "There's a piece of paper on this crate of fish."

"What does it say, Cranky?" asked Charlie.

"It says… 'Fast as the wind, gentle as a lamb. Though very large, train me you can. I can jump high and nose down low. What am I, do you know?'"

Stanley and Charlie thought long and hard. Unlike the first riddle, it was tougher to crack.

"Hmm… fast, gentle… good jumper…" Charlie gasped. "Wait, I know – it's a horse! Rosie says her driver's daughter loves horses."

"And accordin' to what I've heard," said Salty, "the original Peel Godred engines loved horses. There's a ridin' school on the Peel Godred branch line."

"Then it looks like the Peel Godred branch is our next stop," Stanley concluded.

"Bye, guys, and thanks for helping us out!" called Charlie, and then he and Stanley raced off.


Keenan Hanson had been in charge of the riding school ever since Max Regnary retired, and she was talking to some of the riders. They were on the trail near the railway line.

"Are you sure that you lost your saddle, Ariel?" she asked.

"I'm afraid so," she replied. "I checked the track room about five times and it wasn't there."

"A saddle's gone missing?!" cried Charlie.

"Now this is very strange," Stanley pondered. "Why anyone would take away a horse's saddle is beyond me."

"Maybe someone wanted to use it to ride their horse," suggested Dixie, another rider.

"Regardless, this is the third crime to report today!" sighed Stanley. "Have you lot seen a riddle around here?"

"A riddle?" Victoria asked. "Sorry, you two. We haven't."

"Hey, what's this?" asked Ariel; she rode her horse – bareback – over to a pole with a bit of paper. Her horse tried to eat it. "No, Dancer!" she said firmly. "It's not food."

"Yeah, we need that to figure out where the thieves are going next," added Charlie. "What does it say, Ariel?"

"'Shards of glass shatter, bits of confetti scatter, a book is torn to shreds. Old clothes worn, everything is forlorn. This riddle is a mess, where would you guess?'"

"Gee, that's a really tough one," Stanley grunted. "How would any of those things go together?"

"Wait… they're all useless to someone… unless they were throwing them out!" cried Charlie. "That must be leading us to the waste dump. And isn't that convenient? It's on the Peel Godred branch as well!"

"Well then, let's make haste!" Stanley said. "Thanks for the help."

Keenan and the riders waved goodbye as the two tank engines set off once again for their next stop.


"Pwor! What a pong!" gasped Charlie as he and Stanley arrived. "Those thieves must've had the stomachs to consider even placing their next riddle here!"

"Well, whoever those thieves are, they must have come to the waste dump for a reason," Stanley said. "Why else would they leave those riddles behind for us to solve?"

"Good point," said Charlie. "Maybe Whiff and Scruff have lost something that'll lead us to the next riddle."

So they puffed over and found Whiff and Scruff. Charlie's assumption was correct; by the looks of their faces, they were in a terrible situation.

"Good day, you two," Stanley said. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, is there ever!" cried Whiff. "One of the workmen has lost their watch!"

"Add that to the metaphorical list," said Charlie.

"Did either of you see whoever it was that made off with that watch?" asked Stanley.

"Sorry, we haven't seen anyone," Scuff replied. "But I did see some paper lying on a workman's table over there. That paper looks fresh, unlike any scrap bits that may have blown out from the rubbish trucks."

Scruff's driver picked it up and brought it to Stanley and Charlie.

"Hmm… this one says," Stanley read, "'I am big and hold many. But I can also be small, barely holding any. Yet this is a great place to be. Only there, can you find me.'"

"Big… yet also small?" Charlie repeated. "Holds many yet barely holds any?"

"Whoa, that's some riddle, alright," remarked Whiff. "Sounds contradictory if you ask me."

"I can't wrap my smokebox around it either," added Scruff.

"Well, if we can't figure out what it means," sighed Stanley, "it looks like we'll have to go back to Knapford and tell Sir Topham Hatt what's going on. Stafford, Rosie and Paxton will be hard pressed as it is."

"Oh, bother…" puffed Charlie; he and Stanley started to head back to Knapford.


"And where in the world have you two been?!" asked Sir Topham Hatt sternly.

"Please, sir," said Stanley. "Charlie found these riddles being laid out all over the island, and everywhere we found them, someone had stolen something."

"I thought," added Charlie, "if I could figure out what they meant, we could locate the thieves. But… I couldn't figure out the last riddle."

Sir Topham Hatt's expression softened, and he put a hand on Charlie's bufferbeam. "You tried your best, Charlie," he assured, "and for that, I am proud of you. In the meantime, Barbara has been searching for the thieves and hasn't had much luck."

"Oh," said Charlie. "Well, if Stanley and I do see suspicious activity, we'll tell you right away."

"Good," Sir Topham Hatt nodded. "Now, I suggest you go help Stafford, Rosie and Paxton. With Amanda still on overhaul, they need all the help they can get."


"Riddles?!" cried Rosie. "You two have been chasing riddles to track down the thieves?"

"Are you sure Charlie wasn't using that as an excuse to tell more jokes?" asked Stafford.

"No," said Stanley. "When we saw the first riddle, the clock was missing. And subsequent riddles lead us to more missing things across Sodor."

"What was that last riddle?" asked Paxton. "Maybe we can help solve it."

"'I am big and hold many. But I can also be small, barely holding any,'" Charlie recited. "'Yet this is a great place to be. Only there, can you find me.'"

"Ooh, that's a tough one, alright," said Rosie. "What's big, small and a 'great place to be'?"

Just then, Paxton pushed a truck too hard.

"Oh no!" he cried. "Get back here!" He raced after the truck, which rounded a bend and rushed straight into Knapford sheds, where Harvey was resting. Luckily, it rushed onto a different track to where the crane engine was.

"Whoa, watch out!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry, Harvey," said Paxton; he quickly moved the truck out of the way.

"That was close," gasped Charlie. "If anything happened to the sheds – any of them – I don't know what we'd do."

"Indeed," said Stanley. "Big or small, they are a great place to be at the end of the day–" He broke off in surprise.

"Wait a minute," gasped Charlie. "Did we just–?"

"The sheds!" cried Stanley. "That's the answer to the riddle."

"We'll need to check all the sheds on Sodor!" said Rosie. "Obviously, Knapford sheds is safe, but there's sheds everywhere."

"Well, Tidmouth sheds is the biggest one, and the next closest to the yards," said Charlie. "Stanley, let's start there. Rosie, Stafford, Paxton, tell any available engines to check the others."

The five engines split up.


Within minutes, Charlie and Stanley had arrived at Tidmouth sheds.

"Alright, thieves!" called Charlie. "Show your faces!"

"Charlie, that's not going to make them surrender that easily," said Stanley, rolling his eyes.

"What? I'm just trying to break the tension," replied Charlie, smiling sheepishly.

"We don't want to give ourselves away," said Stanley. "If we do, the thieves might make a run for it."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," said Charlie. "So how do we catch them with their trousers down? Which could be rather embarrassing for them if we did…"

"Hmm," Stanley pondered. "Ah, I got it…" He whispered something to Charlie.

"Ooh, I like it," he grinned.


It wasn't long before Stanley had a truck coupled to him, and he and Charlie slipped into the sheds. Sure enough, they found all the stolen property.

"Let's get them all in here," said Stanley. The drivers and firemen put all the property into the truck.

"Hey!" cried a thief in surprise. "Stop it! That's ours!"

"You'll have to get us first!" Stanley said firmly. He rushed away, and Charlie's driver and fireman locked the berth that Stanley exited from.

"Get back here!" cried a second thief.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Charlie with a smirk. "I forgot to tell you something very important."

"What on earth would that be?" a third thief growled.

"Listen carefully to this, and you may find your stolen things," Charlie chuckled. "'Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the objects back where you began.'"

Two of the thieves facepalmed themselves. "Now look what you've done, Clive!" said one. "This tank engine is making us play your silly game!"

"Oh, chill out, Roger," said the leader. "This riddle is too easy. The silver tank engine's taken the stolen goods to a maze."

"Okay, genius," said the third thief. "Which maze is it?"

"Er…" Clive tapped his chin. "There's bound to be one somewhere nearby…"

"Heh, not even close," smirked Charlie. "Here's the part I missed: 'I never sleep, running night and day, whistles and horns are heard, and there mustn't be delay.'"

"Never sleep?!" cried Roger. "Whistles and horns?" He glanced at Clive meaningfully. "This is one weird maze if I ever heard of it."

"Wait… back where we began…" The third thief clicked his fingers. "Knapford station!"

"That was my next guess, Matthew!" Clive slapped him on the back of the head. "Now come on! Let's hurry there!"

The trio dashed out of the sheds, and Charlie quickly followed, chuckling to himself.


Stanley stood patiently with the truck of stolen goods, as one of the workers retrieved the clock and put it back on the wall.

"Good job, Stanley," said the worker. "How'd you find them?"

"Don't congratulate me yet," replied the silver tank engine. "I recommend you go back into the station building for now."

The worker did so, and no sooner than she did, when the thieves rushed into the station.

"Hey, there they are!" cried Clive. "See, I told you we'd find them easily."

Suddenly, Barbara Regaby and Trisha leapt out of Stanley's cab.

"You three are under arrest!" said Barbara firmly.

"Aww, nuts!" groaned Roger as he and his accomplices were handcuffed. "We've been had!"

"You three will have a lot to answer for in prison!" said Trisha. The two officers led them away, but not before Barbara winked at Charlie and Stanley.

"Not bad, Charlie," said Stanley. "I guess your knowledge of riddles can come in handy after all."

"Well, I guess it takes a joker to know another joker," replied Charlie. "Or in this case, three!"

"Come on," said Stanley. "We'd better get the rest of these stolen goods back to their rightful owners."


And the two tank engines did just that. Everyone was very pleased to have their things back again.

"If you ever wanted to join the Peel Godred branch line," said Ariel, "we'd all appreciate it." Dancer let out a happy whinny.

"Thanks, Ariel, Dancer," said Charlie, "but I'm content with working at Knapford."

"Besides," said Stanley, "this branch line is the only electric branch line on Sodor. Wouldn't want to take that away from Pamela, Selina, Kyle and Harleen."


That day, Stanley gained a new respect for Charlie, and riddles. So much so that just the other day, he came to Charlie when the two were taking on coal.

"Hey, Charlie," he said. "I have a riddle for you."

"You, giving me a riddle?" gasped Charlie in surprise. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, listen good, because I think this is a tough one. 'I run and run, but cannot flee. I am often watched, yet never seen. When long I bring boredom, when short I bring fear.'"

Charlie pondered for a moment. "Gosh… hmm… 'Run but cannot flee, watched yet never seen…' Wait… oh! I know. It's time! You can watch time on a clock, but you can't see it otherwise."

"That's correct," grinned Stanley. "And speaking of time, we need to get back to work. Time waits for no engine."

"Right you are," Charlie chuckled. "Ooh, I just thought of a joke. Why did the boy throw his watch out of the window?"

"Why?" asked Stanley.

"Because he wanted to see time fly!" The two engines had to laugh as they headed back to work.

THE END


Author's Comments

It's been a while since Charlie and Stanley had been given any major focus as a duo, so it was nice to write for them again, this time in an original story. For an engine who tells jokes, Charlie makes for an excellent riddle solver, and Stanley makes for a good foil to him. Outside of these two, we also get appearances by the likes of Salty, Porter, Whiff, Scruff, Rosie, Paxton and Stafford - in fact, most of the cast is made up of characters introduced from Series 5 onward with no Steam Team members present (a few mentions notwithstanding)!

Upcoming stories:

- Every Dog Has Its Day - While on the way back to the Search and Rescue Center, Belle and her crew encounter a litter of abandoned puppies and bring them home. It's later revealed that they were deliberately abandoned, and so the puppies become pets to the rescue center team, eventually joining their ranks.

- Whistling Wilfred - Whilst out on a run outside of Peel Godred, Stevie the electric engine learns about how Wilfred gained his nickname as "the musical engine".

- Emily's Delivery - Helen Hatt goes into labor while on Emily's train, and the emerald engine has to rush her to the hospital, but can she make it on time?

- The Lion and the Antelope - The engines become afraid of a new crane that's been brought to help at Crock's Scrap Yard. However, one of the engines has a history with him...

- Diesels and Bluebells - BoCo's first day on the Bluebell Railway as ambassador to the North Western Railway is met with controversy as some enthusiasts were expecting a steam engine instead of a diesel. Can BoCo win those enthusiasts over?