Naruto was not happy.

Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration. Waking up next to Hinata in bed can make even the worst day worth it.

But still, he was not happy.

See, the thing about 'Parents Day', is that the Parents are invited to attend the School Day.

Now, Naruto being an orphan was not a problem, his legal Guardians, Jiraya and Tsunade would be attending.

…that was not a problem.

No, the problem was that Hiashi would be there…and Naruto feared that when he sees how some of the pupils act during School, primarily the fanclubs, perverts and the pair of Succubi in the ORC, he'd force Hinata to return to Tokyo immediately.

"Naruto, what did you do?" Sakura asked as they entered the schoolgrounds.

"I didn't do anything." Naruto countered. "Do you really think I'd do something that could end up with Hiashi-teme ordering Hinata to return to Tokyo?"

Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't find a valid argument.

"Then explain to us why the School is coloured that disgusting pink." Sasuke asked.

"Hey, you of all people know that I don't use pink in any of my pranks." Naruto answered. "At least, nowhere near this scale!"

"Then what would you have used?" a voice spoke up. They turned to see Sona standing there, giving Naruto the evil eye.

"Orange, and do you really think that I could have painted the entire damn School by myself in the short timespan that you and the SC aren't there? Let alone without being spotted on any of the CCTV camera's around the school that you lot have put up in response to my extra mural activities?" Naruto asked her. "I mean, I am not some otherworldy creature that can manifest wings and fly around, spamming weird funky magic bullshit that can do enough shit to make a mental asylum look like a picknick."

He and the others saw Sona's eyebrow twitch.

"I can also vouch for him, Sona-Kaicho." Hinata said with her usual smile. "We were on a date at the waterfront last night."

Sona sighed. "Can anyone confirm that?"

"Sakura and I were with them. We met up halfway and decided to make it a double date." Sasuke said, showing Sona his phone, which showed a picture of the four of them next to an Aquarium, the time stamp showing it to be near midnight.

Sona sighed, then called someone on her phone. "Tsubaki, belay the report to the Headmaster. Uzumaki wasn't responsible for this."

As Sona walked off, Naruto shook her head. "Really? Pink? There are worse colours to choose for a prank."

"Ain't that the truth." Sakura agreed, whilst the other two just nodded.

"Naruto-nii, Hinata-nee." The four of them jumped when they heard a new voice right behind them.

"Koneko…geez, you're going to give us a heart attack doing that." Naruto said, breathing hard.

Koneko just gave him a small smirk. "Those Reapers you gave me really worked. Issei's been breathing fire all the time over the weekend. He was not happy when I reminded him that he calls himself a dragon." She gave him a thumbs up. "The only downside was that he was asking Buchou and Akeno for Milk…"

Naruto chuckled as the group of 5 continued on to the school.

During break

"Naruto, I am honestly surprised that this school is still standing." Tsunade said as she, Naruto, Koneko and Jiraya sat in the Caffeteria for Lunch. "What, with all the perversion running rampant amongst the students."

"Oh, trust me, I know what you mean." Naruto nodded. "I mean, the School has everything, from a prude all the way up to a pair of Succubae, and pretty much everything in between…but the female population tends to lean towards the side of desperate depraved sex demons."

"That bad huh?" Jiraya asked, scribbling away in his little booklet.

Just then a commotion caught their attention and they turned to see Sona drag a girl wearing some weird pink getup away towards the SC room.

"Koneko, who was that?" Naruto asked.

"That was Kaicho's older sister, Serafall." Came the monotoned answer. "She's a bit of a nutcase."

"And why was she being dragged away like that?" Tsunade asked.

"Let's just say that Serafall has some…strange quirks." Koneko answered. "She likes to cosplay as that Milky Magician nonsense, she acts immaturely when not working, and is a Siscon at the highest level."

"So you're telling me that this Serafall is the type who tries to make advances at…yeah, not going there." Naruto waved his hands when Koneko nodded. "One more thing…is she a Yandere?"

"Not specifically a Yandere, but she has sent boys and men to the hospital when they tried to approach Sona with the intent of dating." Koneko commented. "At least Bucho's brother isn't that bad."

"Oh great. Let me take a wild guess, he spoils her rotten to the point where Rias essentially can do anything and get away with it with a slap on the wrist?" Naruto asked. Koneko nodded. "What's next, you're telling me that her parents are old fashioned British Politician types, willing to set up their own daughter in a loveless marriage in order for some political BS…" Naruto paused when he saw Koneko's face. "Please tell me I didn't hit the nail on the head…Fuck. What did she do to get out of it? Become a scared crying maiden saved by a dragon who took her away to his lair after saving her from some flaming chicken that was creeping her out?"

"Flaming chicken? Don't you mean Pheonix?" Tsunade asked.

"No, I said flaming chicken. Those don't exist and I don't want to be factually correct again." Naruto countered.

"Not really, but close enough." Koneko answered his question quietly, taking a sip from her drink.

"Naruto, are you sure this school is safe?" Tsunade asked. "I mean, for your mental health."

"Sasuke and I are too busy fearing for our own lives here from all the rabid fangirls to really have much time to learn what happens with the local celebs." Naruto answered. "Apart from what Koneko here tells me from time to time."

After School, Naruto's shared apartment

"There is something seriously wrong with some of the families in this town." Tsunade commented, sitting at the big table.

"You mean the Gremory and the Shitori families?" Sakura asked.

Tsunade nodded. "Those names are on the list, yeah."

"That Sirzechs fellow…who in this day and age has such a big Maid Fetish to have not just anyone, but HIS OWN WIFE follow him around dressed up like that?" Tsunade asked.

"Well, I guess there will always be some people with more than a single screw loose." Jiraya said, sipping some tea. Watching Grafiya and Sirzechs interact had given him enough material for a new book. Or two. Maybe even a new movie.

"Then there is this Serafall person…I can understand why the SP is such a prude…between having to deal with her and schoolwork, she has no time and/or energy whatsoever for a social life, let alone an actual relationship." Naruto mused.

"You don't know the half of it. Serafall actually spoke to me and my family. Everything she said was some form of praise towards Sona…and those weren't humble praises either." Sakura said.

"The Gremory family spoke with my family for a bit. They aren't that bad, but yeah, they are really old fashioned. Like, try 'pre Elizabethan Era England' old fashioned." Sasuke added.

"So the one Succubus in school hails from a family with antique norms, and the biggest prude amongst the student body comes from a family with more screws loose than an amateur craftsman's screw board." Naruto summed up. "Whilst the ORC has the second Succubus with some major daddy issues, a devil of a pervert claiming himself to be a dragon, a gay Prince, a naughty Nun, an Amazon and a self-proclaimed 'Angel' that is more perverted than the devil, not to mention the annoying virgin of a teacher and the best little cat-like sister in the entire country."

"That is quite the mouthful." Jiraya commented.

"You forgot the Student Council and the clubs." Sakura commented.

"You really want me to go there?" Naruto deadpanned. "Remember, you asked for it. Let's start with the Kendo club…"

Sakura groaned. Her and her mouth.