WRITTEN FOR QLFC, Prompt Bingo

Prompt: "You promised you wouldn't laugh!"


Draco stared at Blaise before slowly tilting his head to look at the sky.

It wasn't raining, and there were no clouds overhead. Instead, cool air blew through his platinum-blond locks. But for some reason, Blaise was wearing an ash-coloured balaclava with only his eyes, nose and mouth uncovered. He was sitting under the tree near the Black Lake with his arms crossed over his chest and his lower lip jutting out in a huge pout.

Behind him, Theo sat cross-legged with his hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter. Draco glanced over Blaise's shoulder at Theo, whose eyes were filled with tears of mirth. Draco wondered if he should question what was happening or walk away without a word. He knew he was going to regret it.

Unfortunately for him, his curiosity won. "Am I…missing something here?"

Blaise scowled up at Draco and snapped, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, don't tell me," Draco said, a bit relieved that Blaise wasn't going to start his dramatics this time. He pivoted and was about to walk away when Blaise's hand shot out and he wrapped his fingers around Draco's thin wrist.

"Aren't you going to even ask me what happened to me?" Blaise cried, his eyes widening with hurt and disappointment.

Draco glanced at Theo, who was trembling with suppressed laughter. He sighed and looked down at Blaise. "It's not like you won't tell me even if I don't ask."

"How rude and mean and inconsiderate—"

"Just get it over with," Draco said exasperatedly.

The sight of Blaise wearing such a thick balaclava in such hot weather was making Draco sweat. He could already feel it trickling down his spine and down towards his trousers. Merlin's beard, he didn't want to lie to people again about how Malfoys didn't sweat; they glowed. That was a lie his father had spread in his days at Hogwarts when the dreadful Prewett twins had caught him sweating, and he had firmly ordered Draco to keep up the pretence that they only glowed. And also ethereally rather than like a pregnant woman.

He silently cast the Cooling Charm on himself as well as the special Malfoy-copyrighted freshening spells his father had taught him. The sweat immediately disappeared and left behind a soft, cooling feeling instead. His skin now smelt like peppermint and vanilla.

Blaise sniffed and scrunched up his nose. "Did you just use a—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Draco growled, scowling down at Blaise. He didn't want anyone knowing or even suspecting something. He turned the subject back on Blaise. "Are you going to tell me why you're wearing this…thing while the sun's shining brighter than your bald spot?"

"B-bald spot?" Blaise screeched and yanked Draco down beside him. "How dare you say that? I have—"

"You have a bald spot at the back of your head," Draco announced firmly and turned to look at Theo. "Am I lying to him, Theo?"

"I'm not sure," Theo drawled and then grinned, his eyes brightening with excitement. "Why don't you remove that balaclava so we can see if Draco's right…"

"You shut your big fat mouth, Theodore Nott the Second!" Blaise looked like he was about to burst into tears. He turned to Draco and said, "Before I show you my horrible condition, you have to come with me to somewhere private. I can't do this out here."

Draco didn't want to follow him anywhere, but he knew better than to prolong this already annoying situation. And it would be better for him to move out of the sun; he could feel the freshening spell already fading. Pretty soon, he would start to smell like a working peasant and that would just not do well for his reputation.

"Very well, but hurry up. I've got better things to do than listen to your woes."

Blaise shot him a half-hearted glare but got to his feet and led him and Theo to a spot near Hagrid's hut. The odour that came from the half-giant's house was enough to make them all gag.

"Why are we here?" Draco demanded, his hand covering his mouth. He pulled out his wand and cast a Bubble-Head Charm over himself, not bothering to do the same for his friends. They had wands; they could cast the spell themselves if they were competent enough.

"No one will dare come near this smell, so it's the perfect place for me to tell you what tragedy befell me." Blaise pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. He peeked at Draco through one eye and scowled. "Why aren't you asking me what happened to me?"

"Because I don't really care?"

"So rude and inconsiderate," Blaise grumbled under his breath. He then lowered his voice and stared at Draco with a solemn expression. "Before I tell you, you have to promise me you won't laugh."

Draco knew better than to promise him that, but still, he went along with Blaise's dramatics. In the same solemn tone, he said, "I promise."

And he did something he had seen Granger do behind her back: he crossed his fingers. He knew what it meant; he had stalked Granger for years now to understand her Muggle customs and strange rituals.

Blaise reached up to grab the bottom of the balaclava. He kept his eyes trained on Draco's as he slowly began to pull it up and over his head.

Out popped a pair of white rabbit ears and a head full of rainbow-coloured hair.

At first, he didn't understand what was happening, but when he finally did, Draco burst into peals of laughter. His body shook and his ribs ached from how hard he was laughing at Blaise. "What in Merlin's name—Oh, Merlin, help me, I can't—!"

Theo fell forward onto his hands and knees, tears of mirth streaming down his face. "Ahahahahaha, my stomach hurts!"

Blaise scowled and barked, "You promised you wouldn't laugh!"

"I…I c-crossed my fingers!" Draco cackled. He stumbled backwards and bumped into a tree. He slid down it, his arms wrapped around his belly. "Merlin, what is that on your head?"

When Blaise whirled around, his long, pink ears flopped against the tops of his shoulders. It was the most ridiculous thing Draco had ever seen, and he had seen Blaise do extremely idiotic things before.

Blaise pointed angrily at Theo, who was now curled up in a foetal position on the grass, sobbing like his life depended on it. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't messed up the potion, I wouldn't have been the laughingstock of this entire school!"

"You already were the l-laughingstock of the school," Draco howled and threw his head back, accidentally hitting it on the wide tree trunk. "Fuck, my head hurts!"

"You two are the worst best friends anyone could ever have. I'm going to replace you with someone who doesn't laugh at me all the time," Blaise snapped, crossing his arms over his broad chest. They could have taken him seriously any other day (ha! Yeah, right!), but with that stupid rainbow hair on his head and pink bunny ears sticking up from the sides of his head, no one would have been able to stop laughing at how ridiculous he looked.

"How did this even happen?" Draco asked after he had composed himself a little bit. He tried not to look at Blaise's new…look, but it was difficult when the rabbit ears were just there, perfectly tucked behind the rainbow curls.

Blaise scowled. "I told Theo to make me a hair-lengthening potion because someone I've been trying to impress"–he ignored Theo's pointed "Weaslette"–"said they like long hair on a man, but—"

Immediately, Theo interrupted, "But someone got impatient and tried to make me hurry up. And that's how all accidents happen."

"Is that how you were conceived?" Blaise's sweet smile was a complete contrast to his glare.

Theo whipped out his wand and demanded, "Do you want to duel me? Huh? Is that what you want? I will beat you up and your bunny ears too!"

Seeing the opportunity to cause a distraction so he could leave, Draco questioned, "Why are you getting so defensive? Is what Blaise said true? Were you an accidental baby?"

Theo grumbled under his breath and turned to leave. Blaise smirked and called out, "Serves you right for making fun of me!"

"I will still make fun of you…and I know just how to do that," Theo called out over his shoulder, a smirk forming on his face. "Let me just find out where a certain red-headed Weaslette is and tell her what ha—"

"No!" Blaise's ears stood up straight as he screeched and lunged at Theo's back but tumbled onto the ground instead. Theo cackled and ran away from a still-screaming Blaise. Blaise's feet pounded on the grass, kicking up dust and twigs as he chased Theo, hot on his heels.

Draco shook his head but was relieved they had left him alone. Now, he could use another Freshening Charm on himself and stop smelling so terrible. And then, he could go stalk Granger and see what new Muggle thing he could learn from her.