(Author's Notes: Hey, all! Chapter 85 is here! Sorry for the delay - I had this chapter finished for a few weeks, but I wanted to try and get a chunk out of the next chapter before I posted it, since the next one will be a two-parter (which I may post separately, I'll see.)
Anyways, I hope you've all recovered from the last chapter. As always, enjoy and let me know your thoughts!)
Chapter 85: Deterioration
The sky was dark.
It was the night after Grani's death, just prior to dawn the following day.
The night had reached its darkest point, yet there remained some light in the sky. Dark, heavy clouds completely matted the sky. They seemed to have rolled in swiftly during the night, carried by a powerful and unexpected weather system. The thick, murky clouds stretched for as far as the eye could see, illuminated only by the flashes of lightning in the far distance.
The mood was heavy at the Royal Knights' encampment. The loss of Grani lay heavy over everyone.
Despite it being so early in the morning, the Royal Knights were already up hours before sunrise, planning their next course of action. The scouts had reported on the Demon Lords' movements as well as the inclement weather pattern, and a decision was made.
Drops of rain began sprinkling down across the Order's camp, individual droplets pattering against the fabric surfaces of the tents.
In one of these tents, RhodoKnightmon stood over his bed, carefully folding up his personal bed sheets. The rose knight quietly gathered his things and placed them inside of a large case that lay next to the entrance of the tent.
"Milord?" a voice asked from outside.
"Enter," RhodoKnightmon spoke. His voice was without his usual gaiety. Instead, it sounded soft and distracted.
The flap of the large tent opened from the outside, and a silver-helmeted head looked in. Upon seeing RhodoKnightmon up and about, Captain Knightmon moved the rest of the flap aside and let himself inside.
"Master LordKnightmon," Knightmon greeted formally. "You are already up. That is quite a rare sight to see you sprightly at this early hour."
"Ah, Captain," RhodoKnightmon spoke, acknowledging his long-time subordinate. "There was an early meeting, not that my sleep was particularly restful to begin with."
"Ah… I understand. I was unable to rest easily as well…" Knightmon spoke with a sad frown. "How are you holding up, milord?"
RhodoKnightmon turned to Captain Knightmon and walked over to him. "I should be asking you that… You needn't worry about me when I am sure that you are suffering deeply at Grani's loss," he told him with concern.
"I will always worry about you, Master," Knightmon insisted. "Although… I cannot deny that my heart grieves for my fellow Captain. Grani was a wonderful officer and I know how much he quietly cared for everyone. I will miss him deeply…"
"Yes…" RhodoKnightmon agreed with a sigh. "You are correct on all counts, Captain… How are your subordinates doing?"
Knightmon rubbed his neck. "They grieve Grani as well, but they are professional and know that we all still have a job to do. The lines are tight and we will not allow any further incursions," he explained. "I feel for Leftenant MailBirdramon needing to take up Grani's responsibilities in the field, but I know that he is capable of leading the Reconnaissance Forces."
"Yes… It seems we will all need to do our part," RhodoKnightmon spoke, his words firmed with quiet resolve. "There is no slacking off if we want to rid this world of this demon scourge…"
"Yes, Master LordKnightmon…" Captain Knightmon dutifully concurred.
A silence began to draw out. Knightmon looked up, hearing the soft pattering of raindrops on the tent. "It is starting to rain…" he noted.
"Yes, a heavy, spring storm, it seems," RhodoKnightmon responded. "It is anticipated to go on all day. This weather will not be suitable for battle…"
"How did the meeting progress?" Captain Knightmon wondered.
"It has been decided that the Royal Knights will return to Castle Avalion for a day so that we may plan our next move," RhodoKnightmon answered uncertainly. "I understand the reasons why, but I am reluctant to leave the army without a Royal Knight present. Duftmon says that the Demon Lords will not attempt to attack again so soon, and not with this storm. The scouting reports seem to corroborate this, but I am still hesitant."
"Do not worry about us, milord," Knightmon insisted. "Between Ouryumon, MailBirdramon, and myself, we will ensure that everything progresses as it should here. It is only for a day, after all. You should go with the others. I trust in Duftmon's judgement."
RhodoKnightmon sighed. "I suppose… Are you certain, Captain?" he asked him.
Knightmon smiled. "Yes. I am quite certain," he answered with a light chuckle.
RhodoKnightmon tilted his head curiously, noting Knightmon's amused expression. "Did I say something amusing?" he wondered.
"No, milord," Knightmon insisted, although the smile behind his visor persisted. "I am merely marvelling at how much you have grown from when you joined the Order lo those many years ago."
The pink knight pointed at himself quizzically. "Moi? Grown?"
"Yes… If you will forgive my frankness, I must say that you used to be rather lackadaisical when it came to many matters," Knightmon explained. "Now, however, I can tell you have become quite caring and dependable."
RhodoKnightmon chuckled softly. "I am not so sure about that…" he answered honestly. "I don't think I have grown that much at all, as of late. I am merely doing what I must do to help protect the Digital World, just as I have always done. My heart and my intentions have never changed… I have always simply been myself."
"Perhaps, milord, but perhaps it is only evident to one such as myself, one of the few who have known you from before you became a Royal Knight," Knightmon answered, smiling warmly. "If I may be so bold, you have certainly grown, and I could not be prouder."
RhodoKnightmon smiled wryly. "Well, then… I still have my reservations, but if you insist so much, I suppose I can only believe you," he playfully responded. "And as for you, Knightmon, you have become a capable and caring Captain, as I always believed you would be."
"You are too kind, milord. I can only thank you for putting my name forward for this honour, back when a new Captain was required," Knightmon humbly answered. "I merely seek to look after the soldiers of the Defence Forces and bring the best out of them. They are my pride and joy."
"Oh? And here I thought I was," RhodoKnightmon lightly teased him.
Knightmon began to panic uncomfortably. "O-Oh, I simply meant—"
RhodoKnightmon chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I jest, Captain," he assured him. "…Now, I must go rendezvous with the others."
"Of course, milord," Knightmon responded, stepping aside.
"We will be back early tomorrow, I believe," RhodoKnightmon responded. "Then, I sincerely hope that we will be able to vanquish the Demon Lords and bring this war to a close. I want nothing more than to purge this darkness so that beauty can return to this world…"
"Yes, I do hope that we are able to end this war as soon as possible," Captain Knightmon agreed. "I am eager to have some respite again so that I may return to my knitting."
RhodoKnightmon chuckled. "We have a long way to go before the Sign of Xuanwumon, Captain. You have plenty of time to prepare your gifts," he playfully stated as he grabbed his case with one of his ribbons.
"Yes, but I must get started early," Knightmon insisted, holding the flap of the tent open for RhodoKnightmon. "Sweaters do not make themselves, and some of the soldiers of the Defence Forces have quite large bodies."
RhodoKnightmon smiled warmly as he stopped in the doorway, preparing to walk out into the rain to meet with the other Royal Knights.
"And one more thing…" the rose knight told him. "You can call me RhodoKnightmon, you know."
"…Yes, Master RhodoKnightmon," Captain Knightmon replied, forcing himself to do so despite the fact that it did not come naturally to his tongue. "If that is your preference."
RhodoKnightmon smiled. "Take care, Captain. We will be back soon."
"Take care, milord. Safe travels," Knightmon answered, before reaching down and picking up RhodoKnightmon's trunk with considerable strength. "Allow me to carry this, for you."
RhodoKnightmon sighed, but smiled and nodded, allowing his subordinate to do that much for him.
With that, he walked out into the rain-spattered night, off to meet the Royal Knights for their imminent departure.
The dawn broke, and then passed.
It was a dark day over Castle Avalion.
Thick, grey clouds matted the sky, sprawling out for as far as the eye could see. The air was heavy, thick with humidity, and there was a soft chill in the air.
It was now the midday after the abortive battle and Grani's death.
During the night, the huge rainstorm formed and developed across the Neutral Zone and the northern plains where the lines of defence were. With such a heavy rainstorm, one that would not let up for the whole day, it had been deemed that any military action by either the Royal Knights or the Demon Lords would have been ill-advised. In light of this, the Order decided to merely stay fortified along their line of defence.
It is in this context that the Royal Knights felt it was pertinent to return to Castle Avalion for a day. With the security of their army in their absence largely assured, at least for a day, they wanted to use this chance to return to the castle with Dukemon.
They were incredibly concerned about Dukemon. More than just the injuries he sustained, they were worried about his heart and mind. After losing Grani, he had been more or less unresponsive, clearly in a state of shock. They decided the frontlines was no place for him and wanted to bring him back to the castle to rest as soon as possible. In addition to this, the Royal Knights needed to regroup and plan their next move. Although this reason was never explicitly stated, it was understood that each of the Royal Knights were feeling the loss of Grani, and this allowed for them to lick their words as well.
Captain Ouryumon, Captain Knightmon, and Acting-Captain MailBirdramon stayed with the army back at their camp, allowing all of the Royal Knights to return to their castle for the day. The Captains saw to the organization of the army as well as their morale, while General Tactimon took temporary operational command if anything were to happen in the Royal Knights' absence.
However, while the other Captains remained behind, the last of the four Captains returned to Castle Avalion with the Royal Knights…
Captain Karatenmon strode down the corridors of Castle Avalion.
After the battle, he gave the Rooks their new assignments, and returned with the Royal Knights to their headquarters early that morning.
He walked down the stone hallway with his usual, relaxed gait. In his taloned hands were several papers, reports from his agents on the latest intel they had gathered. Karatenmon read one of the reports as he walked, a soft frown resting on his face. Despite everything that had happened, he couldn't let himself pause even for a moment. He was the Royal Knights' spymaster, and he had a job to do.
Karatenmon turned the corner, heading down a corridor that led to a staircase leading up to the bedchambers. He was so focused on the report in his hands, it was only when he heard faint sniffling ahead of him that he looked up to see where he was going.
At the end of the hallway, he spotted the bright, yellow form of Sparrowmon hovering near the stairs. The jet-like messenger seemed to be holding several sealed scrolls under their arm. Karatenmon continued walking closer. It was on closer inspection that he noticed that Sparrowmon was not merely idle, but was wiping tears from their face with their other gloved hand.
"…Sparrowmon?" Karatenmon delicately asked as he approached.
Sparrowmon stiffened up and immediately began wiping the tears away with the backs of their gloves. "C-Captain!" the scout exclaimed in a sniffly, nasally voice, their face as red as their eyes despite the attempt to save face by saluting. "I'm- I'm s-sorry…"
Karatenmon smiled softly and approached the distraught, yellow jet Digimon. "There's no reason to be sorry," he assured.
"N-No," Sparrowmon insisted, wiping away the last of the tears from their eyes. "There's no crying on the job! I… I just…" Sparrowmon looked down with a tearful grimace.
"I know…" Karatenmon answered understandingly. "You cared about Grani a lot… I understand…"
"I'm sorry, Sir…" Sparrowmon gently spoke, their high voice still quavering. "I shouldn't let it affect me while I'm on the job… it just hurts…"
"It does… I know there are a lot of you who feel the same way. Grani was beloved, and not just among the Reconnaissance Forces either…" Karatenmon said, gently placing a hand on Sparrowmon's shoulder.
The avian scout's glossy, blue eyes drifted down to the ground. "I… I never told him how I felt…" Sparrowmon admitted, a melancholy mixture of regret and shame lacing their voice. "It would have been unprofessional… and I knew he never would have reciprocated… but still…"
Karatenmon smiled warmly, with just the slightest hint of sorrow behind his eyes. "…I'm sorry, Sparrowmon. I know it must hurt… having regrets like that," he told them, rubbing their shoulder comfortingly. "All we can do is keep living our lives to the fullest. I think Grani would want us to do that…"
Sparrowmon sniffled and wiped the rest of the tears from their eyes. "M… Mhm," Sparrowmon agreed, nodding despite the sadness on their face. "I… I'll try."
Karatenmon smiled and removed his hand from Sparrowmon's shoulder. "You don't have to do it alone… I'm sure the rest of the Recon Forces will want to rely on you, and want you to rely on them," he encouraged them. "We need to stick together through times like this."
"Th-That's right… Thank you, Captain…" Sparrowmon agreed. They then looked down at the letters tucked underneath their arm and was reminded of something. "Oh, that's right… I was looking for you, Captain. I have some top secret reports for you, hand-delivered by your handlers in Shroud, New Terminal, and Gold Keep."
"Oh, thank you, Sparrowmon," Karatenmon replied, taking the scrolls that were presented to him. "I'll go review them now."
Sparrowmon nodded, although still sniffling a bit. "I should get back to work. I have more documents to deliver," they said, raising their free hand to salute the Captain.
Karatenmon smiled, nodded, and saluted. "Alright… Take care, Sparrowmon," he gently told the jet Digimon.
As Sparrowmon promptly flew off down the hallway, Karatenmon tucked the scrolls under his arm and began continuing up the stone staircase to the Captains' bed chambers.
The corvid spymaster reached the top of the stairs and turned down the corridor. He folded up the report he was reading and placed it under his arm as he approached the third door down.
Karatenmon drew a key from his belt and inserted it into the key slot to undo the magnetized locks. He placed his talons on the metal handle to open the door, but rather than turn the knob, his hand merely stayed there.
He found himself stalling… It was as if there was an invisible barrier keeping him from entering. His ruby eyes merely stared down at his hand, and his feathery brows furrowed apprehensively.
Karatenmon closed his eyes. He drew a soft, meditative breath and then exhaled. Centering himself, he turned the doorknob and opened the door to his room.
Karatenmon walked inside, closing the door and locking it behind him. He calmly strode forwards to his desk on the opposite wall. There, he took the scrolls and reports he was carrying and offloaded them haphazardly onto wooden surface of the desk.
As he stared down at the pile of papers, his eyes slowly drifted over to the right, towards the closed doors leading out to his balcony. He didn't know why, but he felt compelled to open them. Something in his heart stirred and nagged him to do so…
Karatenmon tentatively walked over to the doors. Once he disabled the security system, he placed his hands on the handles, and pulled the doors open in one smooth motion.
The fresh, outside air swept into his room, replacing the musty air inside. The light poured in and the sweeping, balcony view was revealed to him.
Yet… the moment he opened them, he felt his heart sink with disappointment. Outside the walls of the balcony was empty air. There was nothing – nobody – waiting for him outside. Just a far-reaching, beautiful view of the landscape beyond the castle.
A sad, tiny smile formed on Karatenmon's lips, emerging alongside the knowledge that he should have known better. He had half-expected to see Grani there, perched on his usual place the balcony, ready to scold him about something or another.
However… he realised that he would never get to see Grani outside of his window again. He would never hear his soothing voice, even as it chastised him, nor would he see the calm serenity in his sapphire eyes. They would never again be able to talk as they often did…
It was then, now that he was certain he was alone, that Karatenmon allowed his mask to drop and his true feelings to leak out.
"Grani…" he whispered breathily, placing his hands on the stone railing of the balcony.
He gazed out across the landscape.
Even on a drab, grey day like today, there was so much beauty to behold. Karatenmon looked out at the vast, silver sky, watching where it met the verdant horizon. He admired the vista's natural beauty, even as his vision became increasingly blurry.
"There is still so much of this world that I wanted to show you…" he spoke, a wistful smile resting on his quivering lips.
Two tears rolled down the black feathers of his face, splashing onto the stone railing below.
"It's such a beautiful world, Grani…" Karatenmon said, tears resting in his eyes as he gazed out across the panoramic horizon.
"I just wish I could have experienced it with you…"
"I can't believe he's really gone…"
Those words expressed what they all were thinking.
The twelve Royal Knights were gathered in a corridor in Castle Avalion.
Specifically, they had gathered in the wing that housed the Royal Knights' bedchambers. They stood in solemn silence, each of their faces stricken with sadness and worry.
The Royal Knights were crowded outside of Dukemon's bedroom. Alphamon and Omegamon stood at the open door to his chambers, with the rest of the knights gathered around them in the congested corridor, all peering inside of Dukemon's room.
Dukemon lay curled on top of his bed, his cape furled over his body like a blanket. He was fast asleep, completely exhausted from the traumatic events of the previous day.
Dukemon had barely said anything since Grani's death. He hadn't uttered a word during the trek to New Terminal, nor during the train ride back to the Free Area. The most they had been able to get out of him were a few monosyllabic affirmations when Duskmon was checking his wounds. During the medical examination, he had been found to have some heavy bruising, non-severe cuts, and a sprained wrist. However, all the Royal Knights knew that the problem wasn't with his flesh… it was with his heart.
"Yes…" a deep, somber voice spoke softly, not wanting to wake the sleeping knight. Alphamon pulled his deeply troubled gaze from Dukemon and turned to the eleven Royal Knights that were behind him.
"…It won't be the same without Grani with us…" Alphamon poignantly agreed. "For all intents and purposes, Grani was as much a Royal Knight as any of us. He was with us from the beginning… and Dukemon was with him for even longer. We could not have asked for a more capable Captain for the Reconnaissance Forces… My heart breaks to be without him, as I know it does for the rest of you as well… However, for all the sadness that we are feeling, Dukemon is feeling it far worse. We will need to be there for him… now more than ever."
"The poor dear…" RhodoKnightmon spoke softly.
"Yeah, poor Dukemon…" Dynasmon murmured with a deep grimace.
"He must be heartbroken…" UlforceVeedramon said grimly. "I've never seen him like this before…"
"His best friend just died," Craniamon muttered bitterly. "Of course he's like this…"
Examon gazed into Dukemon's room, wincing with pain. Seeing another of his friends in such pain was difficult for him… That tight, uncomfortable feeling in his chest had returned.
Examon looked over at Sleipmon. The knight in question stood at the back of the group, slightly apart from the others. Sleipmon seemed to be trying to keep out of the way. However, despite his attempts to be discreet, Examon could see that Sleipmon looked visibly distraught. His eyes were shut tight and he looked away from the others, but he didn't say a word. It seemed as though he was trying to keep his personal sorrow to himself.
Grimacing guiltily, Examon looked back into Dukemon's room.
He knew how close Dukemon and Grani were. He understood the pain he must have felt, or at least some of it. He knew the pain of losing a friend, for he had thought he killed Dorbickmon once…
Seeing his friend devastated like this… it made him rethink things. He hated how he left things with Dukemon after their argument. He had regrets…
But now that Grani was gone, it put his doubts into perspective. He began to reconsider what the best thing for him to do was… He didn't feel comfortable returning to the UDC like this. He wasn't even sure if that was what he wanted anymore…
"Dukemon…" he whispered sadly.
"What can we do for him?" Magnamon asked, his ruby eyes creased with sorrow and distress.
"I don't know…" Omegamon replied, his voice but a soft and melancholy echo. He turned his head and gazed back inside Dukemon's room.
Omegamon's sorrowful eyes rested on the sleeping Dukemon. The sadness, the guilt, and the sympathy he felt for his friend was indescribable. All he wanted to do was to help him, but he had no idea how. What could one do for someone who just lost their best friend? What could he do when Dukemon felt so hurt by him? Would he even let him help him?
Omegamon closed his eyes. He had to try. He couldn't afford to feel sorry for himself when Dukemon needed him. He had to make things right somehow…
"At the very least, we cannot take him with us," Duftmon plainly stated, despite the soft frown on his face. "In the state he is in now, he would only get hurt."
Gankoomon folded his arms and looked away. "Maybe we should let him," he suggested. "If I know Dukemon, he won't want to be left behind. It might be healthy for him to vent."
At this suggestion, Alphamon hesitated. He and Omegamon exchanged uncertain glances before looking back at Dukemon to make sure he was still asleep. "I… am not sure that is a wise course of action, Gankoomon."
"Why not?" Gankoomon asked, levelling a direct stare at the black knight.
Magnamon, noticing the telling look between Alphamon and Omegamon, frowned and cocked his head. "What's going on, Alphamon? Is there something you have been neglecting to tell us?" he asked him.
"Yes, Alphamon," Duftmon spoke, turning to the leader of the knights. "What, pray tell, has been going on that has caused Dukemon to rush out against my orders? You did give your word that you would tell us after the battle ended, if you recall."
Alphamon paused and looked around at the rest of the Royal Knights. They were all gazing at him with the same questioning eyes. He had no intention of lying to them. At this point, after all that has happened, they deserved to know the truth. Indeed, perhaps they needed to know the truth now more than ever… He didn't want to doubt Dukemon… but if something happened and he failed to tell anybody about it, he would be responsible.
Alphamon exhaled and closed his eyes. He nodded softly with agreement.
"…Come," he told them, glancing meaningfully over at Dukemon's room. "I will explain everything in the Council Chamber. Here is not the right place…"
"Alright, but I don't know if we should leave Dukemon alone," Magnamon hesitated.
"He's asleep... He'll be okay for a few hours," Craniamon responded. "We should let him rest… He probably wouldn't want us crowding him when he wakes up anyways..."
"I don't want him waking up alone," Magnamon contended.
"We won't be that long, right, Alphamon?" Dynasmon asked. "After we're finished our meeting, I'll come straight back before he wakes up."
"It shouldn't take that long, though I am certain you will all want to talk about it," Alphamon suggested. "However, yes, that would be a good idea, Dynasmon."
"Very well…" Duftmon spoke. He turned away stiffly and glanced back into Dukemon's room. As his emerald eyes rested on the crimson knight, his frown deepened and he reflexively raised his hand to his chest.
"On further reflection, Alphamon…" Duftmon uneasily began. "Perhaps we could delay our meeting for a half of an hour? I… find that I am feeling… unwell."
Alphamon turned to him, looking at the tactician with concern. "Of course, Duftmon," he agreed. "What seems to be the matter?"
Duftmon frowned uneasily. "…I feel a strange tightness in my chest, as well as an uncomfortable pressure in my throat. I… fear I am coming down with an illness… I would like Duskmon to examine me," he explained with a concerned cadence to his voice.
Alphamon's eyes softened with understanding. "Ah…" he spoke. He extended his hand to Duftmon's chest, though his fingers stopped short before touching him. "May I…?"
Duftmon nodded slightly, and Alphamon proceeded to lightly place his hand over the center of Duftmon's chest. "…Right here?" the black knight asked.
"…Yes," Duftmon answered, averting his gaze sheepishly.
Alphamon responded with a small, sad smile and gently removed his hand. "I see…" he softly said to the tactician. "That is completely normal for situations like this, Duftmon... I feel the same way, as I am sure the rest of us do as well…"
Duftmon turned away from them uncomfortably. "…I see…" he calmly but briskly responded. "…Nevertheless, I would like for us to take a brief recess before reconvening so that I may verify with Duskmon. Would that be acceptable?"
"Yes, that is a good idea, Duftmon," Alphamon agreed. "It will give us all a chance to compose ourselves."
"Very well. We shall reconvene in half of an hour, then. Do not be late," Duftmon instructed.
Without another word, Duftmon immediately began walking down the corridor away from the Royal Knights. Not turning around, he concealed the look of worry and distress on his face.
Omegamon looked at Dukemon for a little longer before tearing his gaze away from him. With a remorseful grimace, he followed after Duftmon down the hallway.
The rest of the Royal Knights began following Omegamon down the hallway, though each knight glanced into Dukemon's room with worry as they passed by his door.
Sleipmon was one of the last Royal Knights to leave. For a few moments, he just stood in front of Dukemon's room, gazing at him with his saddened, violet eyes.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered quietly, his words softer than a wisp in the air. Sleipmon shut his eyes and turned away, slowly walking after the Royal Knights.
The only two Royal Knights remaining were Alphamon and Examon. Examon was staring at Alphamon, who noticed as he began to turn to leave himself.
"Examon?" Alphamon asked, stopping and looking up at the tall dragon. "What is it?"
Examon frowned hesitantly, momentarily finding his gaze drifting towards Dukemon. "Alphamon…" he said to the black knight. "About what you and I spoke about before…"
"Ah…" Alphamon realised, turning to face Examon fully. "…Yes, Examon?"
"Please… just forget that I said anything," Examon told him, looking down with a guilty frown.
Alphamon arched his brow, the dragon's response taking him by surprise. "Oh… you mean you have decided to stay?" he inquired.
"Yes, I think so… Please, I would rather that the other Royal Knights not find out about this," Examon requested, awkwardly rubbing his arm. "I already told Dukemon, but… now I regret all of it."
"I see… Well, they will not hear it from me," the Aloof Hermit promised him. However, as he watched Examon, he noticed his withdrawn, hesitant movements. Alphamon frowned dubiously. It crossed his mind how Examon's feelings might have changed over the past day.
"…Examon," Alphamon carefully began. "Are you absolutely certain about this? As I told you before, whatever your decision is, it must be your decision…"
"I know," Examon reaffirmed. "And this is my decision, Alphamon."
Alphamon glanced back at the sleeping Dukemon for a moment. "…I respect your decision either way, Examon. If this is your decision, then I welcome it fully," he told the dragon knight. "However… only if this is a decision that you are truly happy with, Examon."
Alphamon looked deep into Examon's eyes, imparting some of the wisdom of his years. "…Do not make this decision for the wrong reasons…"
"…I am not," Examon assured him, gazing back into Alphamon's eyes. "My place is with the Royal Knights…"
Alphamon sighed a little, but nodded. "Alright, if you are certain…" he tentatively said. "But know this… you may feel differently in a few days or a week's time. Now, I know you to be a rational Digimon, Examon, but… feelings like grief and guilt… they can affect even the most sure-hearted of Digimon. You may change your mind—"
"I don't want to change my mind," Examon asserted.
"…That may be," Alphamon agreed, placing his hand on Examon's arm. "But to 'want' or 'not want' is something different from to 'do' or 'not do'."
Examon turned away with a subtly frustrated briskness. "I'm sorry, but I should go prepare for our meeting," he swiftly stated, suddenly feeling eager to get out of there.
Alphamon sighed and watched as Examon passed by him. He watched the dragon make his way hurriedly down the corridor, clearly bothered by something he said.
As soon as Examon turned the corner, a small, cloaked figure passed by him, appearing around the corner alongside a Knightmon guard.
Alphamon observed with curiosity as Wizardmon came to a stop not far from him. "Wizardmon?" he wondered.
Wizardmon fidgeted nervously and looked up at the Knight of the Empty Seat. "Er, I'm sorry, Alphamon. Is this a bad time?" he wondered. "I saw the other Royal Knights leaving, but…"
"Ah… No, that's quite alright, Wizardmon," he assured the mage. "What is it?"
Wizardmon's brows dipped with hesitation. Nevertheless, he gazed up at Alphamon with a burgeoning resolve in his eyes. "Alphamon… when you return to the frontlines… I'd like you to take me with you!"
Alphamon blinked with surprise. "We will be going into battle, Wizardmon," he felt the need to mention.
"I… I know," Wizardmon tentatively responded. "I know I can't fight, but… I can help in other ways," he insisted. "I know Bagramon… I know a lot about what he is planning. I can help you stop him!"
"It will be dangerous, Wizardmon," Alphamon warned him. "If Bagramon sees you, he will believe you to be a traitor. Even if you remain with our baggage train, I cannot guarantee your safety. I will not be able to sufficiently protect you."
Wizardmon frowned nervously, but he refused to back down. "…Please, Alphamon. Please let me do this," he begged him. "I cannot just sit around in my cell while everyone else is risking their lives to save the world... I need to do my part to make up for my mistakes. This is something that only I can do…"
Alphamon gazed into Wizardmon's eyes. Despite the fear that he saw, it was outweighed by his sincerity and determination. His spirit was such that Alphamon could only sigh and smile.
"…Very well," Alphamon agreed, placing his hand on Wizardmon's shoulder and squeezing it. "You can come, Wizardmon. So long as you accept the risk involved and listen to what I say."
Wizardmon smiled. "Thank you, Alphamon. I will."
Alphamon nodded at the Knightmon guard. "Knightmon, have him ready for departure before dawn tomorrow."
"Sir!" Wizardmon's Knightmon guard saluted, before turning to the mage. "Come on, Wizardmon," he urged him, guiding him along back down towards the stairs.
As Wizardmon and the Knightmon disappeared around the corner, the fading echo of footsteps gave way to a stark and protracted silence.
Alphamon was now on his own.
Standing by himself in the empty corridor, the Aloof Hermit turned back towards Dukemon's room.
He cast his eyes over the sleeping knight. Dukemon had a weak grimace on his face. Whatever kind of sleep he was having, it didn't appear to be peaceful, nor was Alphamon's surprised. He could only imagine the pain that tainted his sleep.
His black gauntlet rested on the doorframe, his grip slowly tightening around the stone. The feelings of guilt and sadness that he kept at bay began to emerge now that he was on his own.
"I'm sorry, Dukemon…" Alphamon whispered with a soft shimmer in his eyes.
"I've made a mess of things again…"
Half an hour passed…
Dukemon remained asleep in his room. However, the more time that passed, the worse his sleep became.
He tossed and turned in his bed, his red cape becoming twisted beneath him. Dukemon breathed heavily, groaning in breathy, incoherent murmurs. His fingers dug into the sheets, as if desperately clutching something.
Beads of sweat had formed on his face, his chest, and underneath his arms. He stirred restlessly, kicking at the red blanket underneath him. He grasped and pulled, gradually drawing in on himself. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes.
His tossing turned into thrashing. He rolled from one side to the other, his body becoming drenched in sweat.
"No…" Dukemon whimpered with an unconscious moan. "No…"
He rolled onto his back and gasped, swinging his arm out violently.
"NO!" he yelled, his eyes snapping open to reveal sharp, tightly-constricted pupils.
Dukemon's body jerked and he snapped upwards sharply. He panted and sat up in his bed, nearly hyperventilating.
"…Grani?! Grani?!" he shouted, desperately looking around his room.
There was silence.
It was within that silence that Dukemon began to see clearly. Though his eyes were bleary, he realised he was back in his bedroom.
His cold, empty bedroom.
There was no Grani to be seen. No reassuring words from his trusted Zero ARMS. No sight of his crimson body waiting stalwartly beside his bed.
Dukemon's contracted pupils finally began to dilate as he looked around his dark, vacant bedroom. He panted, his tremulous breaths slowly beginning to stabilize.
No… No Grani… Not even the Royal Knights were there when he awoke…
It was in that moment that Dukemon remembered.
Grani was dead…
…and he was all alone.
Dukemon slowly leaned forwards on the bed, bringing his knees to his chest. He placed his face in his trembling hands and let out a few quiet sobs.
"Grani…" he whispered, his voice shaking.
He remained like that for a few more minutes, allowing his sorrow to take over. He inhabited the despair that he felt and let it consume him for a few minutes.
However, after a bit more time, Dukemon began to move.
In preparation, he wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffed. Then, he slung his armoured legs over the side of his bed. With a groan, he cradled his right arm that rested stiffly in a loose sling, and forced himself to a stand.
Dukemon rose to his feet, blinking back his tears and looking towards his partially opened bedroom door. His eyes were red, glossy, and tired. However, those same eyes gradually began to focus with determination. Questions began to enter his mind where they hadn't before.
He began to wonder… Where had the Royal Knights gone?
Why did they leave him here? Were they planning on returning to the front lines without him?
Were they worried about him? Were they planning on keeping him here? Did they intend to isolate him? What else were they planning to do…?
He didn't just want to sit around feeling sorry for himself any longer… He couldn't just lie there while decisions were being made about him without his knowledge.
He had to act…
He had to find the Royal Knights.
Dukemon's bloodshot and weary eyes gazed ahead, out into the corridor, slowly hardening with determination.
"Where are all of you…? What are you doing…?"
Dukemon took that first step forward. And then another. And another.
He stopped at the threshold of his dark and lonely room, staring out into the equally forbidding stone corridor.
As he stood at the precipice, he shut his eyes and closed his fists tightly.
"Do any of you even still trust me…?"
Dukemon's tightly cringing eyes cracked open and he raised his metal boot.
With that lingering thought, Dukemon stepped over the threshold to search for the other Royal Knights…
The air around the round table was stiff.
Nobody knew what to say.
The Royal Knights sat around the stone table in stunned silence. What Alphamon told them took everyone but Omegamon completely off-guard. Even Jesmon, who had been present for everything else but that, was shocked to learn what they really spoke about.
Alphamon and Omegamon explained that Yggdrasil had commanded to speak to them in private. And then, once they were alone… Yggdrasil had advised them to beware of Dukemon, for It had claimed that the Digital Hazard was on the verge of activation.
Alphamon's words had sucked all of the oxygen out of the room like a miniature implosion. Not only was everyone speechless, but it was like all their vigor had evaporated as well. Alphamon had only relayed what Yggdrasil had said to them without comment. The mere statement from their god was enough… enough to form questions… Questions that hung over their heads like blades dangling from string.
Nobody knew what to say. Nobody wanted to say anything to begin with. Nobody wanted to be the one to vocalize those questions and make them real.
Until, finally, someone spoke. A critical voice that was never shy of honest opinion.
"I… cannot believe that you kept this from us…" Duftmon spoke, bringing his hand to his forehead to knead his brows. Contrary to Alphamon's expectations, Duftmon's words weren't angry. In actuality, they seemed to be more bewildered… and perhaps even upset.
Duftmon raised his head, looking over at Alphamon with aggrieved and distressed eyes. "This of all things… I had hoped that you two would know better by now. Personal secrets are one matter, but something as critical as this…"
Alphamon sighed, but he met Duftmon's gaze acceptingly and understandingly. "I am sorry that we did not tell you all about this, but you must understand that we were in a very difficult position," Alphamon explained. "Imagine how Dukemon would have felt if he were to have found out that we all knew this and had been discussing it behind his back."
"Yet, Dukemon found out regardless," Duftmon contended, his sharp, emerald eyes hardening. "And it drove him to break battle protocol and rush out against orders. And in the ensuing chaos, Grani—"
"Don't say it, Duftmon…" Dynasmon told him with a grim expression. "We can't start thinking like that. What happened to Grani… was a tragedy. It won't help any of us if we start passing blame…"
Duftmon sighed and leaned back in his seat, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "…I merely meant that their misguided attempts to protect Dukemon have clearly backfired. Now we are in a perilous situation," he replied, tempering his ire somewhat.
Alphamon and Omegamon both grimaced, but they made no attempts to deny it. "We never intended for Dukemon to find out the way that he did. He overheard us speaking about it. It was a careless indiscretion on my part," Alphamon explained.
Gankoomon scoffed and folded his arms, his leg shaking agitatedly. "This is what happens when you keep secrets and mutter things in dark corners," Gankoomon bluntly accused them. "You should have just been up front with him."
Duftmon nodded. "Honesty is the best policy," the tactician agreed, eyeing the black and white knights. "You would think that you would know this after the troubles your last lack of disclosure had caused us."
Alphamon scratched his cheek uncomfortably. "It is easy to say that… but would Dukemon have reacted any better if we told him that Yggdrasil believes the Digital Hazard will activate?" he posited. "I regret the way we handled the situation, but we intended to merely watch Dukemon, with the hopes that nothing would come of it. I have my doubts that complete honesty would have made the medicine any sweeter for him to swallow."
Examon frowned, leaning forwards and placing his hands on the table. "If I can say… it doesn't matter how he found out. What matters is that he knows… and now he is hurting."
"Yes…" Alphamon admitted. "Yes, you're right, Examon. We have to think about Dukemon now."
"Wait. Wait one second," UlforceVeedramon protested. "Dukemon has been fine. He's been regular, happy-go-lucky Dukemon as far as I've seen."
"UlforceVeedramon's right," Magnamon spoke with a deep, worried frown. "I'm not doubting Lord Yggdrasil for a moment, but… what was Its reasoning for saying that the Digital Hazard is going to activate? Dukemon has seemed fine to me as well…"
"How can you say that after his reckless actions yesterday?" Duftmon dryly stated.
"Dukemon's always been impulsive…" Dynasmon reasoned. "He's always been one to act first. I mean, it was a little weird, I agree, but… it wasn't completely unlike him."
"I… am not so sure," Omegamon tentatively spoke up. He looked around the table at the other Royal Knights, his sapphire eyes sporting a worried frown. "Even before Dukemon overheard us, he has been acting… differently. He has been… distracted, irritable… There have been little moments of uncharacteristic behavior that I noticed but explained away to myself."
"What is it that you are saying, Omegamon?" RhodoKnightmon questioned. "Are you suggesting that he has had a recent change in behaviour because of the Digital Hazard?"
"No, I…" Omegamon winced, pausing. "…I do not know… All that I am saying is that perhaps Dukemon has been more troubled than he had been letting on to us."
"I dunno…" Gankoomon responded. "We haven't really talked or anything, but I've been back at the castle with Dukemon the longest… He seemed fine before. It wasn't until after Leviamon showed up that I noticed he's been less talkative…"
"He has been our designated intermediary with Leviamon…" Alphamon considered. "I know that events caused relations to deteriorate between them, but… Dukemon never really divulged the details of their discussions. I could only hypothesize what was said between them… perhaps Leviamon was more destructive than we could have even thought. Perhaps we made a mistake leaving him alone with Dukemon…"
Sleipmon's hand slowly tightened on the surface of the table. "…Do you mean that Leviamon was attempting to do what the other Demon Lords did to Cherubimon…?" he asked, his voice hard.
"I cannot make that claim with any certainty, Sleipmon," Alphamon responded. "All I can say is that their interactions seem to have had a negative effect, whether by design or by accident."
Craniamon frowned and looked at Examon. "Come to think of it… he was acting a little weird as far back as our visit to Dragon's Peak, hasn't he, Examon?" he suggested to the large, red dragon.
Examon cringed and looked down guiltily. He didn't feel like he was in any position to judge Dukemon when he had a secret of his own that he was keeping from the others. Especially not after he had hurt Dukemon by revealing his prior contemplations about leaving the Order. Still, he couldn't deny what Craniamon was saying either… After Dukemon had spoken with Megidramon, he seemed different somehow…
"I suppose…" Examon murmured in response.
"Whatever has happened in the past is irrelevant," Duftmon forcefully stated. "Whether his mood has deteriorated either through his Digital Hazard or through Leviamon or anything else, what matters is where he stands at this present point in time." Duftmon's sharp eyes gazed around the round table at each of the Royal Knights. "The fact of the matter is that Grani has been deleted and now Dukemon is essentially unresponsive with grief. He is in an unstable state, yet we must return to the front tomorrow."
"We cannot take him with us in the state that he is in…" Omegamon answered worriedly. "It is unsafe for him."
"What? We just leave him behind?" Dynasmon protested. "We can't do that to him…"
"It would be unwise to leave Dukemon alone right now…" Alphamon agreed with a soft nod.
"I agree with Omegamon. He will be useless to us as he is now," Duftmon answered with the bluntness and pragmatism expected of the strategist. "As disadvantageous as it would be to be down a Royal Knight, it would be dangerous to himself and others to bring him to the front."
"Duftmon, we can't just leave him alone at the castle after what he's been through," Magnamon protested.
"I agree," Alphamon added. "Even putting basic decency aside, leaving Dukemon on his own right now would be incredibly detrimental to his mind. He already feels abandoned enough as it is. If he feels as though we have left him behind…"
"We cannot spare even one more Royal Knight to mind him, Alphamon," Duftmon asserted. "Not at this critical juncture. Losing Dukemon and Grani alone is already a severe blow to our top-level capabilities with which we need to fight the Demon Lords."
Craniamon eyed Alphamon. "I don't want to leave him either, but what are we supposed to do? Drag him into battle with us? In the state he's in? He couldn't even change out of his armour when we last left him…"
"He might come around, guys…" UlforceVeedramon optimistically proposed. "I know he's hurting right now, but he'll probably want to pay the Demon Lords back for Grani…"
Sleipmon looked down somberly. "…Would that be better…?" he wondered, almost to himself.
"Let us hypothesize the event that Dukemon somehow recovers his willpower and joins us on campaign," Duftmon suggested. "Sleipmon is precisely right. If we allow Dukemon to go into battle like he did yesterday, he will be even more emotionally erratic and unstable. Do we want that sort of chaos on the battlefield?"
"He's not a liability, Duftmon," Dynasmon defended.
"Ordinarily, no, but is he in the right frame of mind to be going into a crucial battle? I think not…" Duftmon answered succinctly. "Understand that I say these things for his sake as much as ours. If what you say about Yggdrasil's warning about the Digital Hazard is accurate… is letting him loose on the battlefield wise? I would argue strongly against it…"
"At least he would be with us," Magnamon contended. "We would be able to support him. If we leave him alone…"
"So, basically, no matter what we do, we'll make things worse," Craniamon muttered pessimistically.
"Not necessarily…" Alphamon suggested, thoughtfully stroking his chin. "We could bring him with us, but keep him on our back lines with our baggage train. That way we wouldn't be abandoning him, but he would not be entering battle with us."
"That is a bit too convenient, is it not, Alphamon?" Duftmon challenged him.
"I can't exactly see Dukemon just sitting by while we fight a dangerous battle," Dynasmon reluctantly agreed. "It wouldn't be like him."
"He may not yet have the will to fight…" Alphamon offered, although it didn't sound like he was entirely convinced of his words either. "Either way… I do not see what else we can do apart from that. It seems like the only option."
"One minute," Examon stated. "We don't know with certainty that the Digital Hazard is actually going to activate… Aren't we drawing conclusions prematurely?"
Omegamon's expression tightened with pain and uncertainty. "I want to believe in Dukemon… I want to believe in him more than anything," he explained. "But… Yggdrasil would not lie to us. It never has, nor does It have any reason to. If we cannot trust in Yggdrasil's judgement, what can we trust in…?"
"I do not doubt that, but… I also do not doubt that Dukemon would do everything in his power to prevent the Digital Hazard from activating. I have seen how passionate he is about that," Examon insisted. "We can trust in that, can we not?"
"Is that trust? Or is that merely hoping for the best?" Omegamon asked. The white knight looked down, feeling guilty about his words, but he unable to shake the portentous feeling inside of him. "Grani was Dukemon's best friend, Examon… and now that he is gone…" He closed his eyes deeply. "I know better than most the feeling of darkness… and how it takes hold when you are at your most vulnerable…"
Alphamon's gaze softened as he looked at the knight beside him. "I understand your fears, Omegamon, but that was under very different circumstances…" he assured him.
"Dukemon has more cause for sorrow than I had, Alphamon," Omegamon softly contended. "One does not need a dark rift to succumb to that darkness."
"Has it really gotten to that point yet?" Magnamon grimly wondered. "We cannot start thinking the worse, can we?"
"Any strategist knows to prepare for the worst," Duftmon insisted. "We cannot merely continue on blindly while ignoring the obvious threat."
"He isn't a threat!" Dynasmon defensively growled.
"Then what would you call it?"
Alphamon frowned deeply. It was this sort of discussion that he had been hoping to avoid… He had wanted to prevent the Royal Knights fighting over whether or not they could trust Dukemon. He knew that there would be strictly rational arguments made that would contrast with the emotions and strong bonds of friendship of the knights. He didn't want this to divide them… especially when Dukemon was caught in the middle and unable to defend himself.
He began to open his mouth to put a stop to it.
However, before the words could leave his mouth, he was cut off.
The loud, metallic sound of doors unlatching suddenly stayed his voice. He looked ahead, across the table, towards the double doors that were supposed to be sealed while their meeting was in session. A soft flare of irritation emerged within him; he had made it clear to the guards that the meeting was to be considered of the highest confidentiality and that there were to be no intrusions unless it was absolutely urgent.
As the two doors parted, however, his exacerbation morphed into anxiety.
It was not a guard or a messenger who entered the enclosed council chamber, but a knight.
Dukemon pushed open the doors personally, the gust of air blowing his cape turbulently behind him. Far from the subdued and unresponsive state that they had left him in, Dukemon now strode into the room with vigor.
However, the force of his stride… - the heavy footsteps of his boots hitting stone - was not that of spirited gaiety or resolve. There was something assertive… defiant… in the way that he pushed his way in.
"Dukemon," Alphamon exclaimed, his eyes widening with shock and unease.
Dukemon's abrupt and announced entrance sent shockwaves through the chamber. Nobody was expecting to see him. Within moments, everybody realised that they had all just been speaking about him while he was absent, about incredibly sensitive subjects, in a manner that didn't particularly place them in a flattering light. Each of them wondered what he heard, if anything.
Each Royal Knight reacted differently, but, generally speaking, a quiet aura of guilt and shame washed across the table. Some of the Royal Knights looked away with guilt. Some of them squirmed nervously in their seats. While others made a point to look Dukemon straight in the eyes either to act normal or to show that they had nothing to be ashamed of.
Dukemon strode forwards with hard, purposeful steps, coming to a stop halfway between the door and the council table. He stared at the Royal Knights with tired, bitter eyes. With a withering glare, Dukemon slowly looked around the table. He didn't just look at the knights as a unit, but he stared at each one individually, gauging their reactions to his arrival.
As he inspected each of their faces, he easily perceived the alarmed and awkward looks in the Royal Knights' eyes. Their uneasy expressions said all that he needed to know. Dukemon felt a sharp sting inside his numbly aching heart, but, this time, he refused to turn away and hide. This time, he was determined to confront them.
He was sick of it. Sick of the secrets… the whispers… the distrust… the lies… He was ready to clear it all away… this smoke that grew thicker the longer that he retreated from the truth.
Dukemon was done with silently following along after his friends, allowing them to do whatever they wanted with him. He no longer believed that they had his best interests at heart. He couldn't just passively depend on them any more… With Grani gone, he decided he had to act.
He was going to confront them… No, not just confront them…
He was going to make damn sure that the Royal Knights knew exactly how he felt…
"D-Dukemon," Omegamon exclaimed, his eyes wide with worry. He rose from his seat. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be up."
Dukemon's tired yet piercing eyes tightened, and he released a hollow chuckle. "Yeah? And why shouldn't I be?" he cynically wondered.
"You should be resting, Dukemon… You look exhausted," Alphamon lightly urged him. "We all thought you would still be asleep…"
"I can see that…" Dukemon sarcastically muttered.
The crimson knight looked around the table again, still detecting faint discomfort, although less than when he initially entered. Dukemon's anger bubbled inside of him, mixing with the intense sensation of hurt that he felt. He wasn't naïve; he knew what was going on. He knew what the Royal Knights were doing. Knowing that this was going on behind his back amplified his feelings of despair.
He felt isolated… like he couldn't be trusted with the truth. It fed into his insecurities and reinforced his fear and doubts. He refused to let this go on. As his anger flared within him like kindling catching flames, he determined to make his presence known.
"I knew you'd all be in here…" Dukemon said, his voice bitter and scathing. "Talking, talking, talking away… Well, don't stop on my account. I'm the one you're all talking about, aren't I? Here I am… Talk away."
The Royal Knights were stunned and taken aback by Dukemon's uncharacteristic contempt. They all realised that he was upset about Grani, but… had he really heard them talking about him?
Dukemon slowly and methodically looked around at his friends, unimpressed by their silence. "What's wrong? Can you only talk about it behind my back?" he accused them.
"Dukemon…" Alphamon finally spoke up after regaining his composure. "We were merely talking about you because we are all worried about you. We are all so sorry about what happened to Grani, and we do not want you to push yourself to—"
"Please, spare me the 'concerned leader' speech, Alphamon," Dukemon brusquely interrupted. "I don't need you all making decisions about me behind my back. I can speak for myself."
Alphamon frowned uneasily, seeing just how angry Dukemon was. "I'm sorry, Dukemon. That was not our intention," he insisted, very delicately trying to work his way around the upset knight.
"Really…" Dukemon stated, completely unconvinced. "So what is your intention? Lock me in the castle where I can't hurt anyone while the rest of you fight the Demon Lords?"
"No…" Alphamon carefully replied, gazing steadily at the red knight. "We believe it is best if you come with us, but that you remain in reserve on the rear lines."
"Hah… I see," Dukemon bitterly scoffed. "You don't want me fighting, but you want me somewhere that you can all keep tabs on me…"
"That is not true, Dukemon," Omegamon ardently insisted. "We are worried about you. We do not think you should be fighting in the condition you are in. It is too dangerous."
"And why is that, Omegamon?" Dukemon challenged him.
Omegamon winced faintly, but he didn't respond to the bait.
Dukemon scoffed and folded his arms. "…Well, let me make things clear for all of you," he informed them in no uncertain terms. "I'm going to the frontlines and I'm going to take part in the next battle."
Expressions of worry and concern appeared around the table.
"Uh… is that a good idea, Dukemon?" Dynasmon asked.
"Dear, you really should not strain yourself," RhodoKnightmon urged him.
"You're still hurt. You should really take it easy for a bit," UlforceVeedramon agreed.
"You need rest, Dukemon…" Omegamon insisted.
Dukemon looked at the Royal Knights with a deepening glare of frustration. All he was hearing were convenient excuses for why he shouldn't fight. He didn't care how caring their words seemed; he knew the real reason they were saying these things.
"I don't need rest," Dukemon sharply insisted. For emphasis, he began taking off the sling that his arm was resting in. Once the sling was off, he dropped the cloth to the ground and began moving his arm around. "See? I'm just fine."
"Dukemon, I know you do not want to be left out," Alphamon told him, "however, it is not only your body that we are worried about. It is so soon after Grani's tragic death… Now, I know you—"
Dukemon scowled, some of his bubbling rage spilling over. "Would you stop patronizing me?!" he sharply accused him. "Grani was my best friend! If anybody has the right to take revenge for him, it's me!"
Duftmon leered at Dukemon with cool dispassion, his pragmatic ice standing in contrast to Dukemon's fire. "And that is precisely why it would be a mistake to bring you into battle," the strategist plainly stated. "You are too emotional. I doubt that you would even listen to us. The only thing that you would achieve is getting yourself hurt."
"No," Dukemon responded, glaring back at Duftmon and holding back a growl. "That isn't the reason why you don't want me to fight…" The crimson knight looked around the Royal Knights' table accusingly. "The truth is that you don't trust me… You're all afraid of what will happen if I do fight…"
"That could not be further from the truth, Dukemon," Alphamon ardently insisted.
"Then there's no reason for me not to fight, is there?" Dukemon sharply countered, his sharp, golden eyes locking onto Alphamon. "Because I'm telling you, I'm fighting tomorrow, no matter what. You will have to chain me to my bed if you want to stop me."
"Hmph," Duftmon calmly scoffed. "If that is what we must do in order to keep you safe, then that is what we will do."
"Tch. 'Keep' me safe?" Dukemon sarcastically challenged. "You mean you want to keep everyone else safe. Don't insult my intelligence, Duftmon. Do you really expect me to believe that you're worried about me? Even now?"
Duftmon leered at him steadily, a vexed look on his face. "Fool…" he murmured.
"Of course we are worried about you, Dukemon," Omegamon urged him. "All of us are."
"Dukemon, where is this coming from?" Magnamon worriedly asked him.
"Yeah, what are you talking about?" Craniamon added.
"Are all of you really going to pretend that you don't know?" Dukemon accused them. He scanned the table with a sharp and incisive glare, daring them to lie to his face. "Are you all going to pretend that you haven't just been talking about it? Alphamon? Omegamon? You've surely already filled them in, haven't you?"
Alphamon closed his eyes sadly but he remained quiet. Omegamon looked down at his lap with shame and guilt, unable to look Dukemon in the eyes.
Dukemon looked around, his tight, bitter eyes looking at each Royal Knight. They all remained quiet, many looking down from his fiery, trenchant eyes.
"…Very well," Duftmon calmly spoke, one of the few who refused to back down from Dukemon's vehement words and eyes. "If nobody else has the courage to ask him, then I shall do so."
"Duftmon," Alphamon attempted to deter him, although his words were half-hearted. He knew that there was no use denying it now, but he didn't want Duftmon making it worse.
"He knows, Alphamon. I will at least give him the respect of admitting it," Duftmon proudly stated, not allowing himself to be dissuaded. He stared back at Dukemon, meeting the Royal Knight's fiery eyes with his sharp, unflinching, emerald irises.
"…Is it true, Dukemon? Is the Digital Hazard at risk of activation?"
The taboo question sucked all of sound and oxygen out of the room. An aura of extreme discomfort and anxiety washed across the Royal Knights. The chamber became so seat-squirmingly silent that one could hear a pin drop.
Dukemon stared at the strategist, a little stunned that he actually asked. For all of his goading, actually hearing it out loud caused a spike of twisting pain inside of his stomach.
"Hah…" Dukemon laughed hollowly. "I can always rely on you to say what's on your mind, Duftmon, no matter how callous it is…"
He looked around at the others. "I guess the rest of you are all wondering this as well, aren't you?" he challenged them.
"…I'm sorry, Dukemon," Alphamon apologised. "It was never our intention for this to get out this way."
"Then what was your intention?!" Dukemon suddenly snapped, his eyes sharp with pained rage. "Were you going to hide the fact that Yggdrasil thinks the Digital Hazard is going to activate? Were you going to do something about it?"
"We did not want to worry you before these critical battles," Alphamon ardently insisted. "We didn't want to make things worse by making you worry about it. We were simply going to make sure that you were feeling alright."
"Yeah, I remember our little talks when you and Omegamon were checking up on me," Dukemon sharply retorted. "Well, you can rest easy, because I feel perfectly fine! I'm don't feel different whatsoever! You can all stop worrying about me now!"
Duftmon leered at the agitated knight incisively. "If that is true, then why are you so upset, Dukemon?" he challenged.
Dukemon glowered darkly and turned to the tactician. "You're the genius, Duftmon; why do you think?" he caustically asked. "Maybe it has something to do with my best friend dying in my arms!"
"Which is why it is best that you take a break from battle," Alphamon recommended.
"Dukemon, you are not acting like yourself… Please, just listen to us," Omegamon added.
"Take a breath and calm down. We're on your side," Magnamon spoke.
Dukemon looked around the round table, feeling increasingly off-kilter. Their voices felt like they were barraging him at once with empty platitudes. His anger was bubbling from a simmer to a boil within him, but he refused to let it take over. If he allowed his rage to consume him, he would just be proving them all right. He had to maintain his composure. It felt suffocating. But he had to push back – at them, at it. He wasn't going to back down.
"Be quiet…" Dukemon growled, his eyes grimacing with sorrow and frustration. He tried to close them. His head was pounding. It felt like the blood in his temples was boiling.
"Dukemon," Examon spoke, rising from his seat and walking towards him. "I'm sorry about before… about all of this. Please, just hear what we're saying."
Omegamon nodded and rose from his seat as well. "We're your friends."
Dukemon's eyes snapped open, revealing his furious, glossy irises. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't let that pass.
"You're my 'friends'?!" Dukemon demanded, almost laughing at the incredulity of the idea. He scowled and took a step forwards, stopping Examon in his tracks. "Don't make me laugh!"
Examon blinked, looking at the knight with shock and confusion. "Dukemon…?"
Dukemon's hands became tight, trembling fists as the segments of his gauntlets creaked together. His eyes first focused on Examon, and then over at Alphamon and Omegamon, before observing the table as a whole.
"You keep secrets from me… you keep me in the dark from important discussions…" he hissed, taking an uneven step forwards.
His bitter, yellow eyes tightened. "I know what you all think of me… You all say one thing but think another," he accused them. "When I told you all about the Digital Hazard, I honestly convinced myself that you all accepted me… You put on one hell of a performance, I'll give you all that..." Dukemon grimaced cynically. "But now, when you believe it's problem that could actually become a reality, it's a different story."
Dukemon chuckled weakly. "No… Now, you're all actually afraid… And why wouldn't you be? You're the Digital World's Network Guardians, after all… You've been ordered by Yggdrasil to beware of me…" he cynically explained. "Instead of saying, 'we believe in you, Dukemon,' it's now, 'why don't you take it easy, Dukemon?', 'you shouldn't be fighting, Dukemon', 'calm down, Dukemon'…"
Dukemon looked at them, his faint smile vanishing and his angry, cynical eyes concealing his deep, inner sadness.
"Royal Knights… my friends…" he spoke. "You think I don't know? You really think I haven't noticed?" He brought a hand to his chest. "The whispers… the nervous glances you exchange whenever my temper flares up… the off-handed comments… I know this isn't the first time you've all talked about my Digital Hazard… about whether it was safe having me as Royal Knight… about whether I could be trusted…"
"That isn't true, Dukemon…" Alphamon sadly urged him.
Dukemon scoffed. "Isn't it? I know what I've seen… I know what I've heard. I've always pushed those moments to the side, pretending to myself that they're nothing," he bitterly replied. "Like how I'm a ticking time bomb, right, Duftmon?"
Duftmon blinked with surprise. However, a perturbed frown formed on his face… He found he couldn't deny that he had used those words about him before in a couple regrettable moments…
"I've fooled myself for a long time, but now I know what reason you have to keep me around. You want to keep me close because I'm a threat to Network Security," Dukemon coldly explained, looking particularly at the far end of the table where the founding knights were. "You parade me around as a model virus-type Digimon – something for other virus types to aspire to be like… yet behind my back, you don't trust me."
"What the hell are you talking about, Dukemon?!" Dynasmon angrily barked. "That's what you think?! I know you're hurting, but you're talking nonsense!"
"Like hell it is, Dynasmon!" Dukemon snapped. "Are you going to stand there and pretend you weren't just talking amongst yourselves about what to do with me if the Digital Hazard activates?!"
"We didn't get as far as that!" Dynasmon fired back honestly. "We were talking about you because we're worried, you idiot!"
"Yeah, I'm sure you are!" Dukemon countered. "You're worried about the fate of the world… You're Royal Knights, after all…"
Dukemon glowered and shut his eyes tightly, his head pulsing with pain and rage. "You think I'm not worried…? About what I am? About what I'm capable of…?" he asked, his voice suddenly soft and subdued. "I worry about it every day… The thought that I could be responsible for the end of the world makes me feel sick…"
He opened his eyes a crack, the lens of his eyes glossy as he stared at the surface of the round table. "Yet… despite all that… I always told myself that I would have all of you at my side… that you would all be there for me if I was too weak… " Dukemon's expression faltered, and tears threatened to enter his eyes. "I love the Order… It's my home… I've always felt that this is the one placed that I truly belonged…"
Omegamon grimaced with sadness and guilt for his friend. "Dukemon…" he spoke, his heart breaking for him.
Dukemon scowled and stepped forwards fervently. "I've never give you all anything less than my complete and unqualified trust! I've put everything into this Order! My heart, my blood, my tears! I've given you my all!" he shouted passionately. "I've given Yggdrasil every single iota of my faith! I've given each and every one of you every single bit of my heart! I've given you all that, never expecting anything in return!"
Dukemon grimaced, tears dotting the corners of his eyes as he imparted his true feelings onto the Royal Knights.
"I've given you so much… but it's clear to me now that not even half of it is reciprocated. You… all of you… you can't even trust me… Not even when I trust you unconditionally," he spoke in a broken voice.
"We do trust you, Dukemon!" Omegamon shouted passionately, stepping around from his seat.
"Yeah! Where the hell did you get that idea from?" Dynasmon protested.
"Yeah, right… More empty words to placate me. You can say what you like, but your actions say otherwise," Dukemon cynically replied.
Dynasmon snarled with anger and he rose to his seat in protest. "What the hell…? You say that we don't trust you. That you trust us unconditionally… Garbage!" he growled. "You clearly don't trust us as much as you say you do! If you did trust us, you would believe what we're saying to you! If you trusted us, you would trust us not to see the worst in you, damn it!"
"Yeah!" Gankoomon chimed in, looking over his shoulder at Dukemon. "I don't know where all these damn crazy ideas came from, but trust is a two way street!"
"Please, Dukemon!" Omegamon insisted, walking past Examon and striding straight towards the crimson knight. "If you trust us, then you have to trust our bonds!"
Dukemon growled. Each word was like a knife tearing at his mind. He felt unbalanced, like the room was swaying. His mind became a red mist.
"Those bonds… are fake!" Dukemon snapped violently.
Dukemon strode forwards aggressively, his sharp, yellow eyes constricting. "Stop lying to me!" he shouted. "I know what you're doing! You take advantage of my loyalty for all of you to use me for your convenience! To keep me in line!"
The crimson knight burned with anger, and he marched straight towards Omegamon, his mind a hardly-restrained rage. "You use me! You take advantage of my feelings!" he snarled, his voice dark and baleful. "Just admit it! You fear me!"
Dukemon closed in on Omegamon.. "SAY IT!" he shouted. "You think I'm a monster!"
Dukemon stopped in front of Omegamon. His fist snapped open, and he raised his hand towards him. His mind was numb with anger. He wanted to hit him.
His pupils contracted. There was a bestial – feral - look in his tearful eyes. Like nothing they had ever seen before. There was a flash of blue. His cape flapped. His boot hit the stone floor and he reached.
However… then he stopped.
Dukemon stood stock still, panting with adrenaline, his arm extended, his hand stopped a few inches short of Omegamon's collar.
He looked ahead of him, at Omegamon. The white knight had moved to the back foot, having recoiled slightly. He leaned back, away from Dukemon's hand. His cyan eyes gazed right back at Dukemon, wide with shock… and fear.
Dukemon's teary eyes widened with shock and terror. His contracted irises dilated once again. He realised what he was doing…
Dukemon then looked past Omegamon and at the eleven Royal Knights behind him. Their bodies were tense. Some half-rose from their seats. They all stared at Dukemon with uncertainty… apprehension.
The looks of fear and unease on their faces… their wide, nervous eyes… each one was like a blade slicing into his heart. The fear that he saw they had for him… it only served to confirm what he already believed to be true.
The worst part was… in that moment, he couldn't even blame them. What was he doing…? What was he going to do? If he hadn't stopped himself… would he have lost control?
Dukemon backed away from Omegamon, withdrawing his trembling hands. He suddenly felt ashamed… and frightened of himself.
"Dukemon…" Omegamon whispered, his fused voice softly tremulous.
Dukemon immediately shut his tearful eyes and spun around, turning his back to the Royal Knights. He had to get out of there. He couldn't stand to see his friends' fearful eyes any longer. His hurt and shame was overwhelming. He couldn't even trust himself anymore…
Without another word, Dukemon immediately began swiftly walking towards the exit. He ignored Omegamon calling out his name behind him.
He reached the two doors and pulled them open. Without bearing to look behind him, Dukemon hurried out, and walked away from his friends…
Dukemon hurried down one of the side corridors that ran parallel to the great hall.
He had to get out of there. He felt sick to his stomach.
Dukemon's head was a mess of conflicting emotions.
Fury. Anguish. Heartache. Guilt. Shame. Disgust. Fear.
They polluted his mind like a swamp. His head felt like it was burning. The splitting headache was overwhelming, and it only served to intensify the maelstrom of emotions he felt inside of him. As he walked down the walked down the hallway, the corridor seemed to stretched out in front of him and slant unevenly to the side.
Dukemon had to slow down. Dizzy and disoriented, he staggered to the side and leaned against the stone wall next to him. Using the hard surface for support, Dukemon panted haggardly and brought a hand to his aching and overwrought head.
As he leaned there, Dukemon stood there for a moment to try and sort through the morass of intense emotions he felt. He almost lost control of himself there… He almost hurt Omegamon… The thought of such a thing made him feel sick… Yet, there was a dark part of him that felt gratified. He had finally let out some of those dark feelings that had been eating away at him. It felt good… and that frightened him.
Dukemon calmed his breathing, taking long, slow breaths in an attempt to compose himself. He just stood there for several seconds, centering his unsettled heart.
That is, until, a voice called to him…
"Dukemon, wait!" a familiar voice called out.
Dukemon reflexively tensed up. He didn't want anybody to see him like this.
He stood up from the wall, straightening his body proudly. Hardening his heart, Dukemon slowly turned, glancing over his shoulder with a standoffish posture.
Behind him was Examon, who was quickly making his way down the corridor after him. Further behind the dragon, Dukemon also spotted Alphamon walking after him.
Dukemon sighed with irritation as a flare of anger and frustration reignited in his distempered heart.
"…What do you want, Examon?" he stiffly questioned, watching as the dragon stopped several meters behind him.
Examon looked at the crimson knight worriedly. "I… was hoping that we could talk," he broached cautiously.
Dukemon turned his head. "…There's nothing more to say," he concisely answered, imparting a sense of finality.
"Yes, there is," Examon insisted. "There are things that I need to say to you, Dukemon."
Dukemon angled himself away. However, he wordlessly allowed Examon to say whatever he was going to say.
Examon stepped towards him, gazing at him sadly. "I'm… so sorry about Grani," he gently informed him
"…Me too," Dukemon murmured distantly.
"Dukemon…" Examon tentatively begun, frowning as he tried to think of the right way to word what he wanted to say.
"…I… want you to know that I've decided to stay with the Royal Knights," the dragon finished.
At this, Dukemon looked up and slowly turned his head towards him.
"…So?" he coldly wondered.
Examon suppressed a wounded expression. "I just meant that I don't want you to worry about me on top of everything else you're going through…" he attempted to assure him.
Dukemon blinked and released a revelatory scoff. "Oh… I see…" he exclaimed.
The red knight turned towards Examon, shooting him a look of contempt. "So, you were going to leave for the UDC, but now that Grani's dead, you've changed your mind because you feel guilty," he accused him. "This is all just an easy way for you to make up your mind so that you can feel better about yourself."
The dragon cringed. "What? No. Dukemon, that isn't it at all!" Examon insisted.
Dukemon's expression withered. "Admit it, Examon," he challenged him. "You pity me… That's the only reason you're doing this."
Dukemon gnashed his teeth together and turned away. "'Poor, pathetic Dukemon… He lost his best friend… He needs me,'" he bitterly scorned. "Well, Examon, maybe you're the one who needs to be needed…"
Examon found that he was unable to respond. He wasn't sure what to say… He wasn't even sure if Dukemon was wrong. He wanted to think that he wasn't doing this for his own benefit… but was he?
"Stay… leave… it makes no difference," Dukemon spoke, his words like thorns, but his voice simply sounding weary. "Do whatever you need to do to clear your conscience, Examon…"
Examon looked down, feeling thoroughly chastened by Dukemon's words. He wanted to say more, but he didn't see what else he could say or do.
It was then that Examon felt a hand on his shoulder. The dragon craned his head and looked down to see Alphamon standing behind him.
Alphamon gave him a soft, reassuring nod, quietly asking him to allow him to speak with Dukemon in his stead.
Examon nodded, sighed, and turned to leave. However, before he did, Examon ventured one more look in his direction.
"…I'm sorry, Dukemon," he apologised sincerely. Then, he walked to one of the side doorways and disappeared back into the great hall.
This left Alphamon and Dukemon alone in the corridor together. Dukemon stood facing away from the black knight, his shoulders tensed and his body aloof.
"…Dukemon…" Alphamon gently addressed him, taking a step forwards. "Can we speak?"
"Isn't it a bit late for that?" Dukemon tersely replied. He sighed with annoyance, just wanting to get this over with. "…What about? I haven't changed my mind."
Alphamon approached him, making himself open and receptive. "It isn't about that… There is something else that I require your input on," he delicately began as he walked up beside him.
"Really…" Dukemon flatly replied.
"Yes… Dukemon, with your permission… when we return to the frontlines tomorrow, I would like to address the Order and give a eulogy for Grani," he carefully explained. "If there is anything you would like to say, you are more than welcome to… but if you do not feel ready, then that is perfectly understandable. There is no pressure. I merely wanted your input. If there is anything you would like me to say…"
Dukemon turned his face away from Alphamon, concealing his faint grimace.
"…Do whatever you want, Alphamon. I don't really care… Words won't bring Grani back, will they?" he cynically responded. "Go ahead and say whatever you want to say without me. Do whatever you need to do to keep up appearances… That's what you're best at…"
Alphamon frowned with gentle sadness. Despite the pang he felt, he did his best to let the stinging comment roll off of him. He knew that Dukemon was hurting, and that he was likely angry with him.
"I will do my best to do him justice then…" he replied.
Alphamon looked at Dukemon, his yellow eyes soft with sincerity.
"…Grani was well-loved, Dukemon… and so are you…"
Dukemon's features threatened to break into a grimace. However, his inner bitterness remained dominant, and his standoffish demeanour held firm.
"Right… I'm sure that will count for a lot in the eyes of Yggdrasil…" Dukemon acrimoniously replied.
Dukemon turned and shot the black knight a withering glare. "…You're a hypocrite, Alphamon…"
"Dukemon…" Alphamon answered gingerly. "I know that I have hurt you, and I can only apologise… but please, don't push all of us away…" He attempted to place his hand on Dukemon's shoulder, squeezing gently. "I can never fully understand what you are going through right now… but I believe that I can understand some of it. Let's talk… I want to be there for you, like you were there for me."
Dukemon shrugged Alphamon's hand off and took a step forwards. "Why…?" he asked, his voice dark. "You think you can understand because you were responsible for the Death-X Incident?" Dukemon scoffed. "I guess you have some sage advice for me, from the cause of one calamity to the future cause of another?"
Alphamon turned his head down, the sharp words cutting deeply. "That… wasn't what I meant…" he answered softly. "…Just don't turn away from us, Dukemon. We trust you more than you think…"
Dukemon looked back at him with a hard gaze. "If you trust me as much as you say you do… Prove it," he insisted. "Because I'm coming to battle tomorrow whether you allow me to or not."
Alphamon's expression softened, but he didn't provide a definite answer either way. "…We leave at first light tomorrow, Dukemon," he advised him. "Please, get some rest…"
Dukemon turned forwards and began walking away from Alphamon with hardly another word.
"I'll be there," he promised, leaving the leader of the Royal Knights behind.
Dukemon clenched his fists tightly, looking ahead with a sharp, unwavering glare. He marched down the dark, castle corridor with unmatched resolve.
He was going to fight tomorrow…
…and nothing…
…nobody…
…was going to stop him.
