A/N: This will be a three-shot. It is just a story I've had in my head for whatever reason. Very serious issues are addressed in this story. These issues are depression and self-harm. I have some experience with depression though have not personally dealt with self-harm. However, I have known people and friends that have dealt with it and recovered. You will notice that I refer to depression as an illness. If this insults anyone's opinion about depression, I apologize. It is not my intention. It is just how I look at depression. No matter your outlook on it, depression and self-harm are very serious.
There is a little bit of Ginny bashing, if you can even call it that. She's not pleasant in this story. There is mention of character deaths, some major characters, some minor.
This first installment is Ron's view as he looks back on events where he should have noticed things and events where he made his realizations. The second installment will be Harry's view but will be a look at his journey instead and may not include the same events that Ron's view does. The third and last installment will be Severus' view and will look at his role and how he helped.
This story is slash, Harry/Severus though it is very mild and almost more of a reference than anything else. The dominate idea of this story, is the journey and fight through depression and how these three people experience the fight.
Enjoy and please review. :]
The Realizations
Ron could still clearly remember the days he made his realizations. He was only twenty-six, after all, and all the realizations involved his best friend. As such, it wasn't difficult to recall any of the occasions. Whenever he reminisced, he couldn't help but berate himself for being such an ass and so stupid. He had thought he was over his doubt and jumping to conclusions after the war.
After the war, things had slowly healed in the wizarding world. The people were even slower to heal, Harry among them. Ron had always pictured life after the war and had imagined everyone whole and perfectly happy. He had been so far beyond wrong, especially in regards to Harry though he had been too stupid to realize until it was nearly too late.
He stared into the fire as he reclined on the sofa. He was pulled into memories as the dancing flames hypnotized him.
Eight Years Earlier – 1999
"To fallen friends and family who will never be forgotten," Ron toasted, holding up his glass with everyone else. "To one year later."
"One year later," everyone else echoed and then clinked their glasses together.
"I can't believe it's already been a year," Ginny said.
"It's been hard but we've pulled through," Arthur Weasley said. "We're still healing but we're getting happier."
Everyone smiled at his words and at each other.
It had been exactly a year to the day that Voldemort had been defeated and the war had ended. There had been more deaths than survivals. Harry and Ron were the only ones of the 'Golden Trio' to survive as Hermione had died on the battlefield. Alongside her was every seventh year except for six.
Harry, Ron, Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, and Hannah Abbott were the only ones that remained from their year. Several sixth and fifth years had died as well but the numbers were nowhere near as extensive as the seventh years.
Every professor at Hogwarts except for McGonagall, Hagrid, and Snape had died. Percy and Charlie had been lost from the Weasley family.
Most of the Death Eaters had been killed and the rest were in Azkaban or the psych ward at St. Mungo's.
All in all, the wizarding world had severely suffered.
"Speaking of a year later, Harry," Ginny said, looking across the table at Harry who was sipping his water.
"Not now, Ginny," Harry muttered and she huffed.
"You say that every time I bring it up," she said.
Harry shrugged. "Sorry."
She glared and turned to Fleur instead. Harry just stared into his water.
Ron frowned. "You all right, mate?"
"I'm fine," Harry said dully. "I'm just tired. Still working on number twelve."
Harry had decided to stop living at the Burrow about seven months earlier and had moved into Grimmauld Place. He told them he was remodeling the entire house.
"Right." Ron nodded. "How is that going?"
"Slow," Harry said monotonously and shortly.
Ron frowned again. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
Present – 2007
Ron sighed as he shifted on the sofa. He should've known then that something was wrong. Hell, he should've known before then but definitely should've known that day.
He didn't, though, and it only caused more trouble. He hadn't helped with how he had kept pushing. He could still remember when he realized that, just maybe, Harry didn't want to be with Ginny.
Eight Years Earlier – 1999
"Ginny's been asking after you again," Ron said, sipping his butterbeer.
"I know," Harry said in that dull tone that he had adopted as his every day voice. Ron had learned to ignore and get used to the sad tone without thinking about the reasoning behind its adoption. "I got her letters."
"Why haven't you answered then? She's been going spare, thinking you're cheating on her and going out to bars," Ron said.
"I don't go to bars and I can't cheat on her. We're not even together," Harry said. "I haven't known what to say so I haven't answered."
"Well, answer. She's driving us crazy," Ron said.
"Sorry," Harry muttered, staring at his glass of water.
"What's up with you and her anyways?" Ron said. "She's been waiting for you two to get back together."
"I know but I don't think it's going to happen," Harry said.
"What? Why? The war is over. That's what you were waiting for, right? For Voldemort to be gone to Ginny wouldn't be in danger," Ron said.
"I know but it's…not what I want. It wouldn't work," Harry said. "Sorry."
"I guess I get it," Ron said though he didn't really sound like he was paying much attention. "Come on. Let's go home. Mum would love to see you. So would Ginny."
"Ron—"
"Let's go," Ron said, tossing a few galleons on the table.
Harry sighed, added a few of his own, and followed Ron to the Burrow. They Apparated to just outside the wards and walked up and into the house.
"Mum!" Ron yelled. "I brought Harry!"
"Harry's here?" Ginny's head popped out of the sitting room. "Harry!" She rushed over and threw her arms around his neck.
"Please let go," Harry said quietly, trying to pull away.
Ginny released him with a frown. "What's wrong?"
"I don't really like to be touched right now," Harry said awkwardly.
"Is everything all right, dear?" Molly Weasley asked as she stirred a pot of soup.
"I'm fine. Just been having some nightmares. Been a little jumpy," Harry said.
Molly nodded. "Understandable, dear."
"It is not!" Ginny said angrily. "I'm supposed to be able to touch my boyfriend."
"I'm not your boyfriend," Harry said.
"Of course—"
"No, I'm not."
Ginny huffed. "Well, if you would finally ask me out again."
"I won't," Harry said. "I don't want to get back together. I'm sorry."
"Why not?" Ginny demanded. "I've been waiting for over two years now."
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to be with you anymore. It's not what I want," Harry said.
"And what about what I want? I waited all this time," Ginny growled.
"I didn't ask you to," Harry said and Ginny glowered at him, looking like she was ready to slap him.
"Why don't you want to be with me? The real reason," Ginny snapped. "Is there someone else?"
"Not really."
"What does that mean?" Ginny said. "Who is she?"
"No one. Please leave it. I'm sorry," Harry said.
"I think it's time you got over yourself and the war," Ginny said.
"I'm trying," Harry whispered and no one noticed how he rubbed his forearms through his sweater. Ron would realize it and all the other times Harry did it at a later date. "I'm sorry," he said again and fled the house. He Disapparated the minute he was outside the wards.
"Ginny!" Molly admonished angrily.
"Be mad at him, Mum. He's the one that's strung me along when he obviously had no plans to get back together," Ginny said.
"Harry is having a difficult time, Ginevra. You leave him alone and let him heal," Molly said.
"The war is over. He just wants attention and pity," Ginny said.
Molly looked at her in outrage. "To your room! Do not come out until your father is home!"
"Mum!"
"Go!"
Ron watched his sister stomp up the stairs. "Do you think there's something wrong with Harry, Mum?"
"I think he is hurting and is sick. He is having a hard time coping even with the year that has passed," Molly said. "I believe he needs time, more time than anyone else. I hope he is taking care of himself or has someone helping him."
Present – 2007
Ron sighed again. He couldn't even count how many times Harry had rubbed his arms. It was probably more than he could remember since he hadn't always noticed. He should've known Harry was hiding something. He had always known before.
So why hadn't he been able to notice this time?
Eight Years Earlier – 1999
Christmas
"Why is Snape here?" Ron said, frowning at his ex-professor who was hovering in a dark corner near Harry's end of the sofa. "And where's Harry's girlfriend?"
"He never said he had a girlfriend, Ronald," Molly said.
"Why else wouldn't he be with Ginny?" Ron said.
"He is a different person who wants different things. He is not sixteen anymore," Molly said.
Ron frowned but shrugged it off. "Why is Snape here?" he asked again.
"I invited him," Molly said.
"Why would you do that?" Ron said, aghast.
"Because he has no family, it is Christmas, he is a good man, and Harry asked me to," Molly said, adding some vegetables to her thickening stew.
"Why would Harry want that git here?" Ron said.
"You watch your language, Ronald Weasley, and don't you dare insult that man while he is here. He is a guest and is here for a pleasant Christmas," Molly said and he crossed his arms over his chest in irritation. "I did not question Harry's request to invite Severus. If you wish to know, perhaps you should ask Harry."
"I will," Ron said and walked into the sitting room. He passed his brothers and sister, Fleur and her three children, Luna, Dean, Neville, McGonagall, his father, and Kingsley before falling onto the sofa next to Harry. He ignored the way his friend hunched in on himself, avoided eye contact, and seemed to lean away from him and towards Snape. "What's up, mate?"
"Nothing," Harry said quietly.
"Mum said you asked for Snape to come. Why would you want the bastard here?" Ron said, not noticing how Harry grasped his forearms and leaned further towards Snape, so far he was beginning to bend over the arm of the sofa.
"We've been talking on occasion," Harry said. "I thought it would be nice to include him."
"But no one wants him here. No one even likes him," Ron said.
"I do," Harry said and Ron looked at him incredulously. "He's been…helping me."
"How could he ever help you? He hates you," Ron scoffed.
"Not anymore. I don't think," Harry said. "He's just helping me deal with some stuff."
"What can he help with that I can't? I'm your best friend," Ron said.
Harry shrugged a shoulder. "Just stuff."
"But what?"
"Personal stuff."
"We share everything, mate, why won't you tell me?"
"Because you won't understand."
"Understand what? Look, if this is about this girl of yours that is stopping you from being with Ginny, maybe you should just end it. You don't seem as happy as you were with Ginny," Ron said.
"I wasn't with Ginny long enough to be happy, Ron, and there's no girl," Harry said.
"Then why won't you date my sister?" Ron said.
"I don't want to. She's not what or who I want."
"Then what the hell do you want?" Ron snapped, his voice rising. This time he noticed Harry's flinch but ignored it. Harry was always jumpy these days.
"Ron, you don't—"
"Don't what? Understand? Then help me."
"I-I—"
"You're what?"
"Gay." Harry's voice was so quiet that Ron barely heard the single word. Once it connected with his mind, Ron sat gaping at his friend who curled up further and was nearly jumping off the sofa to get to Snape.
"You're—no, no that can't be right," Ron said, shaking his head. "You're having me on."
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.
Ron frowned. "You're-you're gay?"
Harry nodded brokenly.
"But it's wrong," Ron said and Harry flinched so violently no one could've missed it.
"I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," Ron said, getting to his feet and backing away. "I'm sorry for ever being around someone like you. This is just wrong."
He paid the tears pooling in Harry's pained eyes no attention as he rushed out of the sitting room, ignoring his mother's angry shouts.
Present – 2007
He had been the biggest ass of life. He couldn't believe the way he had treated Harry all because of prejudice and arrogance and an obsession with having Harry marry Ginny. He had been so stupid. He hadn't spoken to Harry for months after that. The silence had lasted far longer than Ron ever wished it had. He knew his fight with Snape at Grimmauld Place in front of Harry had done nothing to help the situation.
Seven Years Earlier – 2000
Ron pounded on the door of Grimmauld Place and barged in when it was opened. He stalked into the kitchen where he found Harry sitting at the table. He was pale and seemed thinner than usual. He had black circles under his eyes and he looked perpetually sad. Even though it was quite warm in the house to keep out the winter chill, Harry was still wearing a thick and bulky sweater.
"Ron," Harry said, wrapping his arms around his waist. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to know why you keep refusing to come over even though Mum keeps asking you and also why you're not answering any of Ginny's letters," Ron said angrily.
"I haven't felt like going out lately," Harry said quietly.
"And Ginny?"
"She knows I don't want to be together and you all know why," Harry said.
"Right," Ron said, his face twisting. "Trust me. We've all been trying to forget your little…revelation at Christmas."
Harry hung his head and didn't answer.
"Mr. Weasley."
Ron jumped and spun around to face Snape who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"Snape. What the hell are you doing here?" Ron hissed.
"Mr. Potter asked me to visit," Snape said.
"What? What is he talking about, Harry?" Ron demanded.
"I told you at Christmas that we talk sometimes and that he's been helping me with things," Harry said.
"Helping with what? It can't be this place as it's still the dump I remember it to be," Ron said, gesturing to number twelve in general. "You're not renovating, that's clear, so what's going on?"
"Nothing. I just like to be alone," Harry said.
"Snape's here," Ron said pointedly.
"He's my friend," Harry whispered.
"I'm your friend!" Ron yelled and Harry cringed, wrapping his hands around his forearms. He turned on Snape. "What are you doing to him?! Why is he like this?!"
"I have done nothing but help him," Snape said calmly.
"He doesn't need your help! He has me and my family! He doesn't want you here!"
"I think he would beg to differ."
"He doesn't like you! He hates you just like he always has! Why can't you just leave him alone? Hasn't he been through enough?" Ron said.
"I am aware of all he has been through. It is why I am here. I am helping him through it all, including your inability to accept his sexuality," Snape said.
"Of course I can't accept it! It's a lie and it's wrong! You've obviously done something to him! My friend Harry is not gay and he never would be!" Ron shouted.
"It is not a choice nor is it something that can be forced, no matter what potion you believe I have given him," Snape growled dangerously. "It is who he is and who he has always been. It took him time to realize it but it is who he is always going to be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and if you continue to say so in my presence, you better be able to run very fast."
"Don't you threaten me, you son of a bitch! I don't know what you're doing to Harry but I'm going to stop it. You're probably cursing him and beating him and molesting him," Ron said, missing the way Snape's eyes hardened. "I won't let you hurt him anymore. He doesn't need more people hurting him."
"As opposed to what you are doing," Snape said and Ron stopped, thrown off track. "You think you're not hurting him, not adding to all he already has to deal with? You, his supposed best friend, are calling him abnormal because of the way he is, because of something as simple as sexual orientation. You who won't accept that just maybe he has moved past old grudges and hatred and reached out to someone he didn't get along with before. You won't accept that he will not ever marry your obsessive little sister. You are hurting him far more than I am, Mr. Weasley."
"You bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?" Ron said.
"I think I'm more of a friend than you are at this moment," Snape said.
"How dare you accuse—"
"Stop."
Ron turned to look at Harry. "You're just going to let him say these things?"
Harry just stared at his lap. Ron frowned as Snape moved from the doorway to stand next to Harry.
"Leave now, Mr. Weasley," Snape said.
"You can't—"
"Leave!" Snape yelled. "If you can't accept Harry for whom he is then get out."
"Harry," Ron said.
"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled.
"What is wrong with you? You haven't been right for…I don't even know how long," Ron said.
"I'm fine," Harry said.
"You always say that," Ron said.
"Leave, Weasley," Snape said and Ron found himself being forced from the house.
Present – 2007
Ron shook his head at himself. Looking back on it all, he couldn't believe he had been a bigger ass than Snape and Draco Malfoy combined. How hadn't he figured out what was wrong with Harry? He knew he had been far too blind and angry to figure anything out. He had completely found out about Harry's…illness by accident. He had Flooed to Grimmauld Place to invite Harry to Thanksgiving dinner, thinking Harry might agree if he was asked in person rather than in a letter.
Seven Years Earlier – 2000
"Harry? You here, mate?" Ron called out as he stepped out of the fireplace. He frowned as he looked around the empty sitting room. For someone who rarely left home, number twelve seemed even more dusty and dirty and rundown than usual. "Harry!" he called again, leaving the sitting room.
Walking through the house, he peeked into the kitchen and then moved upstairs. He looked in all the rooms: the drawing room, the study, the spare bedrooms, the closet. All were empty and he moved on. The bedroom Harry was using was also empty though the bed was a complete disaster and clothes littered the floor, as did used tissues. With his frown deepening, he pushed open the door to the bathroom that was across the hall.
"Harry?" he said, pushing the door open further and looking around it. At first glance he didn't see anything but then a flash of red in the otherwise dull room caught his eye. He looked at the laminate floor—Guess he has been doing some renovations, he thought absently—and his eyebrows furrowed at the little dots of red that splattered the grey floor.
He pushed the door open completely and followed the trail of red as it grew further into the bathroom. He stopped at the old tub where a relatively large puddle of blood was pooling on the floor. Raising his eyes and his hand, Ron snatched the shower curtain back and revealed a pale but bloody Harry.
Ron stared in horror for a long while, his fingers turning white on the curtain. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing even as he continued to take in the pale, still body of his friend that had blood dripping from the forearms. Eventually it seemed to click what was happening and he jumped into action. He grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and wrapped it around one of Harry's wrists. He grasped the other with his hand and tried to cover the few cuts on the arm.
He didn't notice that he was shaking violently or that he had tears streaming down his cheeks. He paid no attention to the blood that was staining his hands.
"Harry?"
Ron's head snapped up at the voice and, despite knowing it was Snape, he called out. "Up here! The bathroom! Hurry!"
He heard hurried steps on the stairs and it was only seconds before Snape was dashing into the bathroom. The ex-professor cursed and pulled out his wand. He pulled Ron's one hand away from Harry's arm, making sure he was keeping the towel wrapped around the other. Ignoring the blood, Snape took hold of Harry's arm and began to run the tip of his wand over the deep cuts. They slowly sealed shut but only slightly. Small spots remained open and blood continued to try and leave the wounds. Snape repeated the process on the other arm and silently summoned first aid products.
Ron watched as the bandages, tape, potions, and salves soared into the room and settled on the floor next to Snape. Once he had closed the cuts the best he could, Snape carefully pulled Harry out of the tub and laid him on the floor. He opened one of the salves and spread the clear viscous liquid over Harry's forearms. He then unrolled the bandages and quickly wrapped Harry's arms, sealing the bandaging with the medical tape.
Ron felt himself relax but only minutely when Snape slowed his movements and gave a couple potions to the unconscious Harry. Snape then dampened a clean towel and carefully washed away the blood from Harry's body, the floor, and his own hands before handing it to Ron.
Ron nodded in thanks and shakily wiped his hands. He watched as Snape gently picked Harry up and brought him across the hall into Harry's bedroom. Ron followed, now beginning to wonder about what had just happened now that he was no longer panicking. Snape settled Harry into the bed and pulled the blankets up around him.
"What—"
"Outside," Snape said quietly and herded Ron back into the hall, closing the bedroom door behind them.
"Wh-what's going on? Is he okay?" Ron said quickly, feeling scared for his friend.
"This is one of the things I have been helping him with," Snape said. "He has been harming himself since the end of the war as a way to cope."
"Cope? Cope with what?" Ron said and shrank away at Snape's glare.
"The loss of nearly every friend and person he has ever known. The knowledge and guilt that he did, in fact, kill a man even if there was nearly no humanity left in said man. You know Harry; you know he takes the blame. He has also been trying to cope with his realization that he is homosexual as well as the animosity that has been between you and your sister and him," Snape said.
"Why didn't he come to me or any of us? We would've helped him," Ron said.
"It is not that simple, Mr. Weasley," Snape said. "Harry is sick. Depression is a serious thing and a very difficult battle. It is a slow process but Harry is getting better. It's taking time and he just takes it day by day. Sometimes he has bad days such as today."
"What makes it worse than any other day?" Ron asked, wringing the towel in his hands until Snape took it from him.
"This." Snape held up the bloody towel. "He fights against the desire to do this every day and manages to win more often now. However, he still lapses back and his thoughts consume him. Sometimes he comes to me when he feels he can't fight against it."
Ron swallowed painfully. "How-how long—"
"He has been this way since the end of the war. He fell steadily into a deep depression," Snape said. "He started harming himself not long after the Death Eater trials."
"They set him off?" Ron said, beginning to get angry.
Snape shook his head. "No. It was a combination of many things that led to this, not just one event."
"Why didn't he tell any of us? He knows we would've helped," Ron said.
"He didn't want anyone to know, as is often the case in these situations," Snape said. "You all would've treated him like glass or as if he would have a psychotic break at any moment. That's not what he needs."
"And you know what he needs?" Ron snapped.
"I do. I have dealt with such situations before," Snape said.
"How do you even know about this? Why would he talk to you? How did you find out?" Ron said.
"He called for me after the first time he cut," Snape said. "He asked for my help."
"Why you?"
"I am unsure. You will have to ask him," Snape said.
"So this is why he never goes out or answers letters?" Ron said and Snape nodded.
"Mostly, yes," Snape said. "He is very ill, Mr. Weasley. Any gathering he has attended has been under my orders."
"You mean, he never really wanted to visit or hang out?" Ron said, feeling selfishly hurt.
"Yes and no," Snape said. "He did want to because he cares for all of you. He didn't because he is in a lot of pain and wants to be isolated in his depression."
"So this was happening while he was living at the Burrow with us?" Ron asked.
"Yes," Snape said. "He mostly came here or to my place during the night, but sometimes I came there."
"How didn't we notice?" Ron muttered.
"He knew how to hide it and I have helped so that he will consent to the gatherings," Snape said.
"Does he still have nightmares?"
"Almost every night."
"How do you help with that when you're at home?"
"I sold my house. I have lived here since Harry moved here," Snape said and Ron gaped.
"You've been living here?"
"It is the best way for me to help Harry."
Ron glanced at the closed door. "This is why he rubs his arms and flinches and doesn't want to be touched."
Snape nodded.
"Will he be okay?"
"He will be. It'll take some time. Had I been even seconds later, he would not have made it."
Ron felt another wave of tears threaten at the thought.
Present – 2007
Ron swiped half-heartedly at the tears on his cheeks. He would never forget the sight of Harry in that bathtub. He had never told anyone what had happened or what he had learned from Snape. When his mum had asked if Harry was coming to Thanksgiving dinner, he said Harry was thinking about it.
He had told Ginny to stop sending letters to Harry. He told her that she would never be with Harry because Harry was gay. That was when he had really realized they wouldn't be together. It was when he accepted Harry's orientation.
He knew when Harry was really getting better albeit slowly. He had grinned at the envelope for ever before opening it. It was also when he realized that there might be something else between Harry and Snape.
Six Years Earlier – 2001
"Ron, post," Molly called, taking out what was for her.
Ron came running down the stairs and searched through the pile for whatever was for him. He stared at the writing on the envelope in disbelief. He knew this writing. He had worked beside it for six years.
He knew that Harry was stable despite his bad days. Ever since discovering Harry in the bathroom three months earlier, he sent a letter to Grimmauld Place every week. Ron always hoped that Harry would answer, even if he just wrote 'Hi' but he never did. Snape answered, though, and kept him updated and passed along the messages Harry couldn't yet articulate personally.
Holding the envelope to his chest, Ron raced up the stairs to his room, nearly knocking Ginny over though he didn't notice. He closed and locked his bedroom door and sat on his bed.
He swallowed nervously and opened the letter.
Hi, Ron.
Severus said I should at least try to write to you even if I don't send it. He said that three days ago.
I didn't—don't—know what to say. Is there anything to say? I feel like we've already been speaking even though I haven't been answering. Severus reads me your letters.
He told me to tell you that you can call him 'Severus'. I smiled when he said it. Kind of, anyways. It's been a while since I've smiled so I don't think I really remember how anymore.
Severus helps though…a lot. I'm sure you know that by now. I'm glad he's here with me. I really like him. He's different than 'Professor Snape' and I like that. He takes care of me.
I think he likes me too.
Do you still like me?
It's time for lunch now.
Bye, Ron.
Harry
Ron lowered the letter, his eyes damp. He couldn't pinpoint exactly why he was crying. He was crying because Harry had finally written him himself. He was crying because Harry didn't think he remembered how to smile. He was crying because Harry only thought that Snape—Severus—liked him when it was obviously that Severus really cared about him. He was crying because Harry felt he had to ask if Ron still liked him. He was crying because Harry really was getting better.
He clutched the letter to his chest as he allowed his tears to fall. He knew Harry would never be who he used to be but Ron didn't care. He just wanted Harry to be healthy and happy again.
Looking back at the letter, Ron smiled at Harry saying how he liked Severus. Ron wondered if maybe Harry liked Severus more than just a friend or caregiver. All he knew was that if Harry did have more romantic feelings for Severus, Ron would do nothing but support him. He had done too much damage to Harry already to hurt him over his choice of partners.
He hugged the letter to his body, wishing and praying for Harry's return to health.
Present – 2007
He still had that letter and the few others that came after it. He had every letter that Severus had sent him. That first letter from Harry, though, was the most special and he still took it out sometimes and reread it. Though he would never need help remembering, it reminded him what Harry had gone through and reminded him to always stick by his friend. Harry only sent one letter every month or so, sometimes every three months.
Ron didn't visit though he desperately wished to. He knew Harry wouldn't want Ron to see him while he was sick. Ron asked Severus on occasion if he could come visit but Severus always said that Harry refused.
Eventually, though, Harry accepted his request to visit. It was just before Christmas and Ron brought his gift for Harry with him.
Six Years Earlier – 2001
Ron knocked on the door and then wiped his sweating palms on his pants. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous but he supposed it was because he hadn't really seen Harry since last Christmas. Sure, he had gotten Harry's few letters and Severus' weekly answers, but it wasn't the same as actually seeing Harry. It especially wasn't the same now that he knew Harry was sick.
"Mr. Weasley," Severus said as he opened the door.
"'Ron'," he said and Severus inclined his head.
"Come in," Severus said, stepping aside to let Ron enter. "Harry is in the library with the tea and sandwiches."
"Does he still cook?" Ron asked as they headed down the corridor.
"I have been encouraging him to resume the activity," Severus said. "He does not cook yet but I believe he wants to."
"That's good," Ron said. "He always liked cooking."
Severus nodded and gestured for him to enter the open library. This room had been redone as well. It was lighter and cleaner. The furniture had been completely replaced with soft brown sofas, chairs, a glass coffee table, and a deep green chaise lounge. The collection of books had diminished slightly and Ron assumed Harry had taken out the more dangerous books.
Harry was curled up on the far end of the sofa, his feet beneath him and a fluffy comforter was wrapped around him. He was holding a steaming cup of tea and there was a half eaten finger sandwich on the edge of the plate on the table. He was pale but not as pale as he used to be. He still had the dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were hollow, but they also had a little bit of light in them. Ron was infinitely grateful to Severus for helping to bring that light back to his friend's eyes.
"Hey, Ron," Harry said quietly and Ron smiled.
"Hey," he said. He approached the sofa but sat in one of the chairs instead, sure Harry wouldn't appreciate the closeness. Severus sat next to Harry on to sofa, clearly resuming his seat. "How are you?"
Harry shrugged under the blanket. "I'm okay. How about you?"
"I'm good. I've started going through Auror training. Just started last week," Ron said.
"That's great, Ron," Harry said with a small smile. It really did look strained as if the action was foreign but wanted to be sincere. "Congratulations. I know you always wanted to be an Auror."
Ron nodded with a smile of his own. "It's been hard. I've had to do a bunch of written tests and go through medical tests. I start the physical training next week."
"That's really great," Harry said genuinely.
"What've you been doing?" Ron asked, hoping he was saying anything wrong.
"Not much," Harry said. "I've been reading again. Mostly I sleep or play chess with Severus or watch him make potions."
"Brew," Severus corrected absently and smirked when Harry pushed his thigh with a foot.
"Fine. Watch him brew potions," Harry said. "We go for a walk every day too. Just around the garden."
"That's good," Ron said. "You always liked to be outside."
"Yeah, I've missed it," Harry said, nodding. "We go out even if it's raining or snowing or really cold. Severus makes sure we go out every day even when I don't really want to."
Ron smiled. "I think he can out-stubborn you."
"He definitely can," Harry said and Ron laughed.
"But you're all right?"
"I'm getting there," Harry said. "It's hard but I'm getting there. With Severus' help, of course."
"Of course," Ron said and was beyond pleased when Harry gave another smile that was less strained.
Present – 2007
He had visited several times after that and was witness to Harry's change. He was able to see as Harry got better and became happier. He was also witness to Harry's and Severus' relationship though he was still surprised when he walked in on them. He could still remember Harry's terrified expression and Ron had been worried that Harry would harm himself right then.
Five Years Earlier – 2002
"Harry! Severus!" Ron called, stepping out of the fireplace. He headed immediately to the library as that was where Harry usually was. He didn't bother searching the other rooms but frowned when he found the library empty. He walked back the way he had come but paused when he heard muffled noise. As he listened, he could hear Severus' deep voice and then heard Harry…laughing? Harry was laughing and now Severus was laughing with him. Ron couldn't remember the last time he had heard Harry laugh.
He made his way to where the voices were coming from and found them to be in the kitchen. However, by the time he got there the sounds had stopped. He pushed the kitchen door open and stopped dead in surprise. He couldn't help but stare as Harry and Severus continued kissing, unaware of their visitor.
He must've made some kind of a sound, though, as Harry quickly pulled away and stared at Ron with wide, scared eyes.
"Ron," he breathed. He shifted so that he was half hidden behind Severus, tightly clasping Severus' hand and arm.
They were all silent as they stared at each other. Harry was paling rapidly and Ron was worried he might collapse or hurt himself. Ron wasn't sure why he was surprised at what he had seen. He knew that Harry and Severus were close and had already known that Harry was interested in Severus. He knew Severus cared deeply about Harry though he supposed he hadn't been sure if it was romantic or not. He guessed he was mostly surprised because he hadn't known that Harry was ready for such a relationship. He knew that his friend was getting better but hadn't known he was ready for such intimacy yet.
Gazing at Harry's terrified eyes, Ron made a split decision that he didn't even have to think about.
"What's for dinner?" he asked and as Harry visibly relaxed and let a smile through, Ron knew he had assured Harry that he was perfectly fine with the new development and was happy for him.
Present – 2007
Ron smiled into the fireplace. Harry had seemed to get even better after that day. Ron knew Harry needed the stability that came with Severus and also the one on one care and devotion. While Ron and his family would always be there for Harry and help him whenever they could, Ron knew that Harry needed someone of his own. He had to share Ron with the rest of the Weasleys whereas Severus was all his.
Ron could see how much happier Harry became after entering the relationship with Severus. He could see Harry changing and coming out of his depression. Ron could always see just how close Harry and Severus were whenever he visited. He also knew just how much Severus was helping Harry when, a year later, Harry told Ron himself that he and Severus would be attending Christmas dinner at the Burrow.
That Christmas was a holiday of revelations.
Four Years Earlier – 2003
Christmas
"Harry!" Molly exclaimed, pulling him into a hug that—to Ron's surprise—he returned. "Oh, you are looking much better, dear, much better than last year."
It was true, Ron mused as he observed his friend. Harry was smiling, he had colour to his skin, and he had gained some weight. His eyes were bright again and he looked genuinely happy and, when he looked at Severus, completely in love. Ron smiled to himself, glad that Harry was finally truly healing.
"Severus has been a big help and a good influence," Harry said, smiling up at Severus. The man didn't smile back or respond, but his hand brushed the back of Harry's neck.
"Excellent," Molly said. "Welcome, Severus."
"Thank you, Molly," Severus said.
Ron talked to Harry, not paying any attention to when Severus helped Harry remove his cloak. Harry had only recently begun wearing T-shirts and short sleeves instead of long sleeves but Ron was already used to it. The scars covered Harry's forearms but Ron no longer noticed them. That wasn't the case, however, for his mother who hadn't known about Harry's illness at all.
Ron winced as his mother gasped at the sight of Harry's arms. Obviously Harry had been prepared to deal with the reactions of the Weasleys and the others when they saw him, but Ron wondered if Harry would be able to handle it. He didn't doubt Harry's strength but he knew any illness made even the strongest of men weaker and more vulnerable.
"What on earth happened, dear?" Molly asked and Ron closed his eyes as the silence stretched on. He had learned early on not to address Harry's scars.
"I've been having a hard time these past few years," Harry said and Ron's eyes flew open in surprise. "I resorted to low and drastic measures but Severus has been helping me overcome it from the beginning."
"Not low or drastic," Severus whispered in Harry's ear, sounding as though he had said the same thing before. "Just hurt and desperate."
Harry smiled over his shoulder at his partner and nodded.
"Oh, Harry," Molly said sadly.
"I'm okay, Mrs. Weasley, I promise. I'm not perfect but I'm getting better," Harry said and just smiled when Molly hugged him again.
"Everyone's in the sitting room, dears. Make yourselves comfortable," Molly said as she released Harry.
"Do you need any help with the meal?" Harry asked and Ron smiled once again. The day he had walked in on the two of them kissing in the kitchen, Harry had finally consented to begin cooking again…with Severus' supervision, of course. It had been a slow build up but now Harry cooked at least one meal every day to Severus' delight. Ron wasn't the only one who adored Harry's cooking. It was a running thing between Ron and Severus about whether Harry or Molly was the better cook.
"No thank you, dear," Molly said. "You go sit and socialize."
Harry smiled and followed Ron into the sitting room, Severus following behind. Harry said hello to everyone as he passed to sit on the sofa, pulling Severus down beside him. He kept hold of Severus' hand though Ron was sure Severus didn't mind. The sitting room had fallen silent at first the clear sight of Harry's arms and then the obvious relationship between Harry and Severus.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Ginny said and Ron dropped his head, shaking it. Just because he had told Ginny to leave Harry alone two years ago, it doesn't mean she had. She had still constantly sent letters, moped and raged around the house, and even resorted to insulting Harry further. "Get away from him."
"Ginny," Ron hissed but she ignored him.
"I'm where I want to be, Ginny," Harry said and she glared.
"You're supposed to be with me," she said.
"I told you and Ron's told you that I'm gay. I'll never be with you or want to be," Harry said. "I have who I want."
"I want you!"
"But I don't want you," Harry said calmly. "Severus is the only one I want."
Ron smiled when he saw Severus squeeze Harry's hand.
"How can you want him? He's obviously hurt you! He's made you scared to leave or say anything!" Ginny said, becoming hysterical.
Harry just shook his head. "Severus didn't do this to me. I did this to myself. The only thing Severus did was help me stop and make me happy. I am anything but scared of him."
"I can make you happy too!"
"No, you can't. I'm sorry, Ginny."
Ginny screamed a little and stomped from the room. It was silent for a while after that until Dean spoke up hesitantly.
"Did-did you really—"
"Yeah," Harry said. "I had a hard time after the war. I couldn't handle everything that had happened. Severus helped me, though, like I said. He's been helping me from the start."
"Well, it's not what we would've expected it," Bill said, "but you're obviously happy and he's obviously managed to help you if you're still here with us. So, congratulations."
Harry smiled and hugged Severus' arm. Conversation started up again and everyone completely forgot about what they had learned. Seeing Harry and Severus together stopped any potential protests that may have arisen. Ginny eventually returned downstairs but only once it was time for dinner. She remained stonily silent throughout the meal but was the first to protest when Harry and Severus revealed one more secret.
Harry was reaching for another roll and as he was pulling it back to his plate, Severus briefly rested his hand on top of Harry's. Everyone watched curiously as Harry just smiled and rolled his eyes. When he pulled his hand away and began buttering his roll, they were all able to see the simple silver band that glinted on his ring finger.
"How could you?" Ginny screeched as she stared at the engagement ring. She threw down her utensils and napkin, and stormed out once more.
"Engaged?" Molly said quietly as though she didn't want to be wrong.
Harry smiled and nodded. "He asked me last night."
"How long have the two of you been together exactly?" Arthur asked.
"About a year but we've been so close since the end of the war. He's done so much for me," Harry said. "It's as though we've been together the past few years instead of just the last year."
"Congratulations, 'Arry," Fleur said.
"When's the wedding?" Kingsley asked.
"We were thinking next December," Harry said.
"A year? Are you sure you want to wait so long?" Molly said.
"I want a winter wedding but I don't want to be married in just weeks," Harry said. "We'll wait which gives us that much more time to plan it just right."
Present – 2007
Ron smiled at the picture on the mantle. They had, indeed, had a winter wedding. It was held at the Burrow and still happened despite the snowstorm that was happening at the time. It was absolutely freezing outside, wind whipped them, and the snow attempted to bury them. It had been a beautiful ceremony.
He laughed quietly at the thought.
On that day, at the very moment that Harry and Severus said 'I do', Ron saw the depths of their feelings. He also saw the moment Harry was healed. Though he hadn't doubted it before, Ron knew then that Severus would always be able to help and heal Harry no matter what happened. Severus was Harry's life now and, in a way, always had been even when they had hated each other.
Ron smiled softly, gazing at the Muggle photo of Harry and Severus on their wedding day. It was black and white and falling snow had distorted the picture minutely. Despite all that, it was impossible not to see the overwhelming love the two had for each other as they stared into each other's eyes.
"Lunch is served."
Ron looked up as Harry and Severus walked into the library. Harry was holding a plate of sandwiches and Severus was holding a plate with a chocolate cake.
"I should be serving the two of you," Ron said as they placed the dishes down.
"If we wish to be given food poison, we will call on you," Severus drawled. He smirked and Ron chuckled as Harry punched Severus' shoulder.
"So, why am I the only one you invited over?" Ron asked.
"Because you were the first one to accept everything," Harry said and smiled. "I want to celebrate my two best relationships."
"Hiding something from me, love?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow. Ron choked and Harry laughed.
"If only I was able to hide anything from you, dear," Harry said and Severus smirked again.
"It took me a while to accept everything," Ron said. "I nearly didn't. I was nearly too late."
"Everything good takes a while," Harry said, sitting on the arm of Severus' chair.
Ron smiled as he watched Severus' arm automatically slide around Harry's waist.
"Yeah," he said.
He grabbed a sandwich and settled back to enjoy the celebrations.
"Everything good takes a while."
A/N: Coming Soon: The Fight. - This will be Harry's side of things and his fight through his depression and self-harm. It will not necessarily include all the same events that Ron's view did.
Thank you for reading. :] Please review. :]
