Sometimes good little bunnies have yellow fur

Jonathan crane has a lot of thoughts running through his head at this moment, all stemming from The Strain side he saw when he stepped through the door of he and his Husband jervis abandoned apartment hideout

you see when you did enter the door what his eyes fell upon with his husband dressed up in a quite adorable bunny made outfit, but he could barely take in the adorableness before the chipper blonde had arms wrapped around his throat and his head pressed so hard into his chest he thought he may suffocate

when he's up again from the blondes bosom he can barely string together the thought of inquiring about how we got that outfit, when he suddenly on the Apartments surprisingly intact couch, and soon his feet are propped up and being quite souvenir massaged by the blonde kneeling before him

yes Jonathan has a lot of thoughts running through his head mostly questions but jervis doesn't seem entirely there enough to answer anything, so the Scarecrow supposed it's best to just lay back and get serviced

Sometimes bunnies have white fur

the dinner table of the cabin in the swamps surrounding Gotham is surprisingly homie after some much needed dusting, and she made even more so by the smell of boiling carrot and chicken soup wafting from the kitchen

Jonathan sits at the dining room table and reminisces on the day he's had up to that point, they've been living out of this college for what days weeks, John isn't sure he only starts counting the days when he believes it's important like leading up to a big attack he'd be planning or the Halloween

but this week seemed noteworthy, first jervis got the itch to start cleaning and not a day after it looks like they've been living there for years, the scientific part of Jonathan would question what caused the smaller man to gain such immense cleaning abilities, but Jonathan's life had mingled with weird things than a man with super human housekeeping abilities so he decided not to

then jervis goes out one day and comes back an hour later, with a bag from a shop in the city, Jonathan would be concerned that he got seen by someone but there's something much more urgent, jervis also brought home a ginormous dead man. well a ginormous Undead man

" this is Solomon, I found him by a tree covered in Moss, and I felt so terribly bad for him I decided to bring him home",jervis says like the ginormous corpse man with some sort of lost dog

Jonathan merely looks up at the hulking gray slab of rotten flesh and says after an hour of staring," just make sure he don't go in my study"

later that day is where Jonathan is now sitting at the dinner table waiting jervis and Solomon, whom the shorter man has christened his assistance in all homily, duties to be done with dinner

before John if we can start Reminiscing on what he had done in his life to end up in this situation the table is shaken violently by a pot of steaming carrot and chicken soup being haphazardly but luckily not table-breakingly dropped

" Solomon, I thought I told you to place it carefully it's a miracle I didn't spill over' jervis says disappointedly as he slaps the Giant frankenstein-esque man with he still slightly scolding wooden spoon, Solomon merely grunts ashamedly and marble something that sounds close enough to " sorry Mr Bunny"

" you better not do it again or I swear it's over my knee and 13 on your bum young man" the white haired man responds with a warning waggle of the spoon, before adjusting his white bunny ear headband and unruffling his Mary Jane black maid uniform

turning to Jonathan his eyes become less serious and a loving smile splits his lips as he speaks, " darling would you like your bowl to have more chicken or carrots in it"

"more chicken I guess" Jonathan says deciding that he might as well accept that this is his life now and just deal with it

sometimes bunnies like to cuddle

the bathtub in the cobblepot mansion was deep and kept the water quite nice and warm, though Jonathan could only relax so much as he did not let his guard down when he was in the presence of a man who seems like he could make him do just about anything by just talking to him long enough

though jervis seemed nicer, though he's always been nice it was a sort of nice that had the implication that you'd owe him something in the future and he would get it whether you wanted to give it to him or not, but this nice was different it was nice without the certainty of reward on his part

in fact he was doing acts of service for Jonathan, things like cooking his food and now giving him a bath, Jonathan would feel infantilized, but something about the situation felt like he had power, like if he gave Jervis an order he do it without question

Jonathan tried to distract himself by thinking of other things like how nice it was that Oswald let them inside of his mansion, maybe it was a favor he owed to Jervis, if Jonathan remembers correctly he thinks the man officiated Oswald and Eddie's wedding, maybe he saw him in the papers

but he fails and his mind wanders back to Jervis and his odd outfit, the hatter is wearing something that wouldn't look out of place in a Japanese maid Cafe, the bunny ears on top of his head the same shade of brown as his hair and the bow around his neck accented with an actual ticking clock and he thinks it might be the man's own personal pocket watch

Jonathan has a sudden idea, maybe if he turns off the watch the brunette will go back to normal, reaching a hand out of the bath he presses down on a button on the watch as it ceases it's ticking and the brunette blinks confusedly and can barely get out a confused hum before Jonathan presses the button again and the clock is back at its rhythmic noise, and with that the brunettes eyes softened like they were before and it gets back to task continuing to scrub down the younger brunette with a soapy towel

after some time the bath is done and soon Jonathan is toweled off and in some sleepwear in the guest room bed laying on the soft mattress, cuddling up to the adult man shaped stuffed bunny in bed with him

sometimes bunnies like to do... Other things

Jason Todd doesn't know how he got here in his life, sitting in the living room of a Motel with a separate bedroom listening to two super villains have hot loud sex

Jason supposed he should start Reminiscing on the days leading up to this, he thinks it all started a couple days after the failed operation he did with the Scarecrow, at that time he still didn't know if he was worthy to be back into the bat fold after all he had done, he decides to get out his angst and guilt over being the supposed death of Bruce Wayne by doing some separate vigilante work from the bat Clan

though one day he slipped up and ended up with about he doesn't know, 10, maybe 12 bullet wounds all over his body, luckily some familiar faces found him in that alley and brought him somewhere to pack him up

when he woke from his bullet-induced unconsciousness above him tending to a couple of the wounds on his arm was a dress wearing jervis tech, who also may have spontaneously grown luscious lady hair or it was wearing a wig, Jason's still groggy painkiller-filled mind couldn't quite tell it the time

when Jason was more awake and could take it in a bit more it turned out that the hatter was wearing quite nice looking Maids outfit, and also the hair was a wig topped with an adorable pair of fluffy red bunny ears, the redhead was spoon feeding him, from the can chicken noodle soup

before Jason can inquire why he's wearing that the Scarecrow comes back from wherever the hell he was carrying a bag of maybe illegal crime chemicals, maybe just some groceries, but before Jason can inquire whether the bag is filled with crime stuff or just some Lunchables the hatter is violently tongue licking Dr cranes exposed gums, and Jason can barely covers his eyes before the scarecrow is lifting the redhead up by his ass and the two are tongue wrestling which is quite horrifying when one of them doesn't have lips

and now here he is rummaging through a plastic bag which turned out just to be filled with more cans of chicken noodle soup listening to two super villains have sex in another room