p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai frequented Zane's brain over the next week- like clockwork, he would go in, sit around useless as Zane went on some sort of miniature adventure of his own, often involving his wagon and the chores he must have done around his home, and then back into bed. Sometimes, the days would blur one into the other, the memory passing as Zane slept to the next day seamlessly. One night, Kai was there for nearly a week, the next, only a few hours. It was dizzying and left the fire master feeling out of touch with his surroundings when he'd wake up in his own body. Eachtime he'd return, Kai found Zane seeming less and less himself, something far away overtaking his eyes, the world around them blurring as snow turned to static before being snapped suddenly back into place. Zane would cough, looking suddenly tired and turn back towards the house. Kai would follow dumbly as Zane hopped up into his nest and offered to read Kai one Adventure Boys book or another. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai was getting nervous- Neuro was a beacon of calm on the other side (though he was starting to look rather haggard) but his family was starting to lose patience with both the situation and each other. Misako had let on very gently over a dinner she had made him that the others caught on that he was hiding things from them and if it weren't for the monitors Borg had hooked up in their living room to monitor brain activity, he was pretty sure the others would have been jumping down his throat for answers by now. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Tonight Kai had awoken in his body feeling an unpleasant cocktail of irate, groggy, and frail, with only Cole still at his side. Neuro stood up to leave without preamble, already trudging off to bed. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Nothing to Report?" Cole asked grimly. Kai shook his head. Cole scowled, moving to say something when Neuro cut him off./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""No news is good news." Neuro reminded him, exhaustion evident in his voice as he moved down the hall. "You'd do well to remember that…"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"The master of mind's voice trailed off into a yawn and was punctuated by the click of a door./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Cole sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Right. No news. Good news."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""You know, you should get some rest, man. Zane wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself." Kai's voice was weak. He wasn't going to fight Cole on sleeping out here and keeping an eye on Zane's body. He'd tired of that song and dance on night three. He watched as Cole stood up slowly, stretching out his broad shoulders with an audible popping of joints. He pushed his dark hair back from his face, showing the wear in his own eyes to Kai clearly. His voice was soft but firm when he spoke./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""It doesn't matter what Zane would want for me- he's priority number one…you're priority number two. Come on. Let's get you off to bed, huh?"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Yeah…"Kai sighed as Cole helped him to his feet and he leaned heavily onto him on their walk to their room. Kai felt an odd bubble of irritation in his chest instead of the gratefulness he knew he should be feeling as Cole straightened him out./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""I don't need a chaperone, Cole…I'm tired, not sick. I'll see you tomorrow and if I still look like shit you can start up your fussing."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Cole's nose wrinkled in distaste and he most certainly did not stop his fussing, smoothing out Kai's matted hair. "You're right about looking like shit. I really don't need you getting snappy with me too, Kai. It's been rough out here."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Yeah…?" Kai asked weakly, unsure he wanted to hear anymore gossip then the ear load Nya had leveled his way the day before. /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Oh, Jay's so insensitive, blah blah, Lloyd and Cole got into an argument in the kitchen and Misako had to step in, it was so ugly! Bladdy bladdy, you wouldn't believe what Dareth thought would help! Bluh bluh bluh!/span /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"It boiled his blood just thinking about it. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai knew their family wasn't perfect, it was plain for any one of them to see (aside from maybe Zane the Saint, who put up with them on their best and worst of days as if they were the same thing), but that didn't mean he wanted every nasty moment spat back to him in a play by play. How Neuro hadn't slipped up and lost concentration was a miracle. Kai didn't want to imagine what would happen to his body in the event that Cole suplexing Jay into the kitchen table would cause enough of a fuss to wind up leaving him stranded in Zane's brain. What would even happen to his body? He shivered once at the thought, something Cole mistook for exhaustion. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""You can hardly stand up, Kai. This is obviously having an effect on you. Our team is only as strong as our weakest member-"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Oh, so now I'm the weakest member?" He hissed out, lip curling. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Zane. Zane is the weakest member. You're such a child sometimes!" Cole's own brow had set, his nostrils flaring in annoyance. "Could you let me finish my sentence?"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""I don't want to talk about this right now." Kai snarled, trying to yank his arm out of Cole's grip in annoyance, though the motion failed terribly, leaving Cole to grip him tighter. The Master of Earth pulled him closer, dark brown eyes shaded to nearly black in the lowlights. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Kai. You're upset. Don't. Take. It. Out. On. Me." With each word Cole's voice grew darker. "I am not letting what happened to Zane break this family apart again. We couldn't even stand to be in the same room. You couldn't look me in the eyes for months before we split the first time- the /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"only /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"time I'm allowing. We're getting too old and too used to loss to keep acting like children."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai trembled, rage and sorrow fighting for control of his heart. Not a single one of them was the same person they were all those years ago. There was a noticeable change in every single one of them that seemed to get worse and worse as time progressed. Jay and Nya had grown a kind of codependent secrecy that could only be matched by lovestruck teens, constantly off in their own world of technobabble. Their words were like tangled wires from the outside when Kai could manage to catch the odd remark about Genies or Pirates. Cole, of course, found himself subservient and stuck, tethered to the world and the others by his own hand. Cole could have been great, Kai knew, better than he was now. He'd had drive, purpose, and a firm foundation- but all that had crumbled beneath him. Moments where he'd find that spark for leadership in himself again, though few and far between, were both sad and admirable to those on the outside. It was plain to see how his ego had cracked beneath the weight of Lloyd's status as "the chosen one". Lloyd was the most changed, from a loud brash kid looking for approval to one who had inexplicably found himself at the head of something much too big for him. If Cole had been crushed beneath the weight of their destinies, Lloyd had been lifted too high to breathe. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Then there was Zane and himself, of course. Always doing the right thing for others and never for himself. Kai thought that the first crack in Zane's gentle calm had formed in that terrifying, life shattering moment Zane had allowed himself to die. That's really what it was. Not that he had died, but that he had fully and willingly given himself up for them. Did Zane not know how they cared for him? Did he not understand that even in those horrible moments of cruelty that they passed off as jokes each and every one of them was jealous of him? Never worrying what people would think of him, living so freely as himself, and being so damn good on top of it all? His stomach churned as he thought about it. Kai would kill to be as good at his core as Zane was. To watch that symbol of their families strength- that piller, crack and chip and shatter into a million pieces. To be afraid to go into the city lest another piece of his managed metal body be found in a flower box, or a rain gutter. He had snapped once after finding out that a private collector in the city had mangled to find and display one of Zane's internal circuit boards- Cole had dragged him off of the man, kicking and screaming bloody murder as vitriol burned in his throat and heart and veins- because how /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"dare /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"they? After everything he'd done for them? Kai couldn't get the image of the switchboard out of his mind, shining among the man's serpentine collection with the funny switch set to on. The huge statue that had loomed over them for the better part of a year as people slowly grew used to it, walking around it as they entered the park, not a spare glance sent its way. Zane was stuck sometimes between being his brother and being an ideal he held close to him. The thought made him sick. How could he do that to him…?/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"That thought was proof that Kai himself could only truly say one thing about how he'd changed- he'd gotten worse. Growing up with just Nya, he'd forced himself to mirror his parents instead of actually working on himself. He really thought that using their phrases and taking up their work would turn him into the good people they were. He knew back then that he was more steady and controlled, but…who was he kidding? Even then, with the stern mask of his father he was still rash and impatient, still greedy for anything life could give him if he could get away with taking it, and the slow stoking of his ego after getting that first taste of fame left him sick for it like an addict. He lived now, he knew, partially for the adoration of the others. Each kind action he tried to do for strangers was maybe only a reflection of what was expected from his station- what would get him that love. That attention. He felt like he had been invisible his whole life and now he was finally being seen, screaming look at me, look at me, look at me! I don't care how, I don't care why! Look at me! He let out a trembling breath at the thought as Cole stared him down. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""We didn't do enough." Kai watched Cole's immovable face as he managed to choke out the words. Those words were true for every facet of themselves in that moment. They hadn't done enough to protect Lloyd from his fate, hadn't done enough to stop Zane from sacrificing himself again and again, hadn't done enough to keep eachother from slipping away, hadn't done enough to stop themselves from regressing, hadn't done enough to stop Wu from- from-! /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai let out a shuddering breath, his throat tightening as he shook his head. "We didn't do enough. We never do enough." /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai folded into Cole like a flame being smothered as his brother swept him into his arms, sobbing like a child against Cole's warm steadiness. He doesn't remember being walked back to the couch bed, were he awoke smothered between Zane and Cole the next morning. He just remembers crying and crying and crying like he hadn't done since…?/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"That truth was harder than any other he'd admitted to himself that night. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried that hard. When life had knocked he and his sister down, Nya was his sorrow and Kai was her rage. When their parents had disappeared, he had been angry at the world. When Nya had been taken he couldn't cry- he'd just grown angrier and angrier. Every tragedy was fuel for his pyre. He'd light himself on fire and burn himself down to his core if he had to before facing that stomach churning, hopeless, head thumping pain that came with crying. He hated the shame and disgust that came with feeling sorry for himself…but he knew deep down that last night he wasn't crying for himself. He had been crying for them all./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai was getting nervous- Neuro was a beacon of calm on the other side (though he was starting to look rather haggard) but his family was starting to lose patience with both the situation and each other. Misako had let on very gently over a dinner she had made him that the others caught on that he was hiding things from them and if it weren't for the monitors Borg had hooked up in their living room to monitor brain activity, he was pretty sure the others would have been jumping down his throat for answers by now. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Tonight Kai had awoken in his body feeling an unpleasant cocktail of irate, groggy, and frail, with only Cole still at his side. Neuro stood up to leave without preamble, already trudging off to bed. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Nothing to Report?" Cole asked grimly. Kai shook his head. Cole scowled, moving to say something when Neuro cut him off./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""No news is good news." Neuro reminded him, exhaustion evident in his voice as he moved down the hall. "You'd do well to remember that…"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"The master of mind's voice trailed off into a yawn and was punctuated by the click of a door./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Cole sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Right. No news. Good news."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""You know, you should get some rest, man. Zane wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself." Kai's voice was weak. He wasn't going to fight Cole on sleeping out here and keeping an eye on Zane's body. He'd tired of that song and dance on night three. He watched as Cole stood up slowly, stretching out his broad shoulders with an audible popping of joints. He pushed his dark hair back from his face, showing the wear in his own eyes to Kai clearly. His voice was soft but firm when he spoke./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""It doesn't matter what Zane would want for me- he's priority number one…you're priority number two. Come on. Let's get you off to bed, huh?"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Yeah…"Kai sighed as Cole helped him to his feet and he leaned heavily onto him on their walk to their room. Kai felt an odd bubble of irritation in his chest instead of the gratefulness he knew he should be feeling as Cole straightened him out./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""I don't need a chaperone, Cole…I'm tired, not sick. I'll see you tomorrow and if I still look like shit you can start up your fussing."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Cole's nose wrinkled in distaste and he most certainly did not stop his fussing, smoothing out Kai's matted hair. "You're right about looking like shit. I really don't need you getting snappy with me too, Kai. It's been rough out here."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Yeah…?" Kai asked weakly, unsure he wanted to hear anymore gossip then the ear load Nya had leveled his way the day before. /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Oh, Jay's so insensitive, blah blah, Lloyd and Cole got into an argument in the kitchen and Misako had to step in, it was so ugly! Bladdy bladdy, you wouldn't believe what Dareth thought would help! Bluh bluh bluh!/span /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"It boiled his blood just thinking about it. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai knew their family wasn't perfect, it was plain for any one of them to see (aside from maybe Zane the Saint, who put up with them on their best and worst of days as if they were the same thing), but that didn't mean he wanted every nasty moment spat back to him in a play by play. How Neuro hadn't slipped up and lost concentration was a miracle. Kai didn't want to imagine what would happen to his body in the event that Cole suplexing Jay into the kitchen table would cause enough of a fuss to wind up leaving him stranded in Zane's brain. What would even happen to his body? He shivered once at the thought, something Cole mistook for exhaustion. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""You can hardly stand up, Kai. This is obviously having an effect on you. Our team is only as strong as our weakest member-"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Oh, so now I'm the weakest member?" He hissed out, lip curling. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Zane. Zane is the weakest member. You're such a child sometimes!" Cole's own brow had set, his nostrils flaring in annoyance. "Could you let me finish my sentence?"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""I don't want to talk about this right now." Kai snarled, trying to yank his arm out of Cole's grip in annoyance, though the motion failed terribly, leaving Cole to grip him tighter. The Master of Earth pulled him closer, dark brown eyes shaded to nearly black in the lowlights. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""Kai. You're upset. Don't. Take. It. Out. On. Me." With each word Cole's voice grew darker. "I am not letting what happened to Zane break this family apart again. We couldn't even stand to be in the same room. You couldn't look me in the eyes for months before we split the first time- the /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"only /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"time I'm allowing. We're getting too old and too used to loss to keep acting like children."/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai trembled, rage and sorrow fighting for control of his heart. Not a single one of them was the same person they were all those years ago. There was a noticeable change in every single one of them that seemed to get worse and worse as time progressed. Jay and Nya had grown a kind of codependent secrecy that could only be matched by lovestruck teens, constantly off in their own world of technobabble. Their words were like tangled wires from the outside when Kai could manage to catch the odd remark about Genies or Pirates. Cole, of course, found himself subservient and stuck, tethered to the world and the others by his own hand. Cole could have been great, Kai knew, better than he was now. He'd had drive, purpose, and a firm foundation- but all that had crumbled beneath him. Moments where he'd find that spark for leadership in himself again, though few and far between, were both sad and admirable to those on the outside. It was plain to see how his ego had cracked beneath the weight of Lloyd's status as "the chosen one". Lloyd was the most changed, from a loud brash kid looking for approval to one who had inexplicably found himself at the head of something much too big for him. If Cole had been crushed beneath the weight of their destinies, Lloyd had been lifted too high to breathe. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Then there was Zane and himself, of course. Always doing the right thing for others and never for himself. Kai thought that the first crack in Zane's gentle calm had formed in that terrifying, life shattering moment Zane had allowed himself to die. That's really what it was. Not that he had died, but that he had fully and willingly given himself up for them. Did Zane not know how they cared for him? Did he not understand that even in those horrible moments of cruelty that they passed off as jokes each and every one of them was jealous of him? Never worrying what people would think of him, living so freely as himself, and being so damn good on top of it all? His stomach churned as he thought about it. Kai would kill to be as good at his core as Zane was. To watch that symbol of their families strength- that piller, crack and chip and shatter into a million pieces. To be afraid to go into the city lest another piece of his managed metal body be found in a flower box, or a rain gutter. He had snapped once after finding out that a private collector in the city had mangled to find and display one of Zane's internal circuit boards- Cole had dragged him off of the man, kicking and screaming bloody murder as vitriol burned in his throat and heart and veins- because how /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"dare /spanspan style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"they? After everything he'd done for them? Kai couldn't get the image of the switchboard out of his mind, shining among the man's serpentine collection with the funny switch set to on. The huge statue that had loomed over them for the better part of a year as people slowly grew used to it, walking around it as they entered the park, not a spare glance sent its way. Zane was stuck sometimes between being his brother and being an ideal he held close to him. The thought made him sick. How could he do that to him…?/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"That thought was proof that Kai himself could only truly say one thing about how he'd changed- he'd gotten worse. Growing up with just Nya, he'd forced himself to mirror his parents instead of actually working on himself. He really thought that using their phrases and taking up their work would turn him into the good people they were. He knew back then that he was more steady and controlled, but…who was he kidding? Even then, with the stern mask of his father he was still rash and impatient, still greedy for anything life could give him if he could get away with taking it, and the slow stoking of his ego after getting that first taste of fame left him sick for it like an addict. He lived now, he knew, partially for the adoration of the others. Each kind action he tried to do for strangers was maybe only a reflection of what was expected from his station- what would get him that love. That attention. He felt like he had been invisible his whole life and now he was finally being seen, screaming look at me, look at me, look at me! I don't care how, I don't care why! Look at me! He let out a trembling breath at the thought as Cole stared him down. /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""We didn't do enough." Kai watched Cole's immovable face as he managed to choke out the words. Those words were true for every facet of themselves in that moment. They hadn't done enough to protect Lloyd from his fate, hadn't done enough to stop Zane from sacrificing himself again and again, hadn't done enough to keep eachother from slipping away, hadn't done enough to stop themselves from regressing, hadn't done enough to stop Wu from- from-! /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai let out a shuddering breath, his throat tightening as he shook his head. "We didn't do enough. We never do enough." /span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Kai folded into Cole like a flame being smothered as his brother swept him into his arms, sobbing like a child against Cole's warm steadiness. He doesn't remember being walked back to the couch bed, were he awoke smothered between Zane and Cole the next morning. He just remembers crying and crying and crying like he hadn't done since…?/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; background-color: #c1e6c6;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"That truth was harder than any other he'd admitted to himself that night. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried that hard. When life had knocked he and his sister down, Nya was his sorrow and Kai was her rage. When their parents had disappeared, he had been angry at the world. When Nya had been taken he couldn't cry- he'd just grown angrier and angrier. Every tragedy was fuel for his pyre. He'd light himself on fire and burn himself down to his core if he had to before facing that stomach churning, hopeless, head thumping pain that came with crying. He hated the shame and disgust that came with feeling sorry for himself…but he knew deep down that last night he wasn't crying for himself. He had been crying for them all./span/p
