If there was something that Addison Forbes Montgomery knew perfectly, it definitely was birth control.
From the first sex education classes she had in high school, filled with modesty, curiosity, and unfortunate comments from her peers during adolescence, to the extensive training she underwent in her specialization in obstetrics and gynecology. She learned everything she knew.
The number of patients she saw daily to whom she prescribed, explained how each method worked, and showed them all the alternatives that existed. Pills, condoms, patches, intrauterine devices, injections, rings, implants...
It seemed obvious that she, a double board-certified surgeon with decades of experience, would know how to handle this issue.
The problem was that despite all the experience and knowledge she had, she was still astonished at how pronounced the red color of the two lines on the pregnancy test she had just placed on the bathroom sink was.
It had only been four days since her period was due, which was strange for Addison. Her body had always worked like a perfectly calibrated clock. Twenty-eight exact days, not a day more or less. That's how long her cycles lasted. And she was always proud to boast about her regularity.
The idea of a possible pregnancy crossed her mind the day before, when she was prescribing medication to a patient and noticed that she hadn't marked anything on her calendar for this month.
Once the girl left her office, she turned the page of the calendar to see what day she had marked the previous month and was surprised to see that she was late this month.
"Okay, calm down, it's just four days, it could be stress, lack of sleep, the damn Seattle weather affecting my physical and mental well-being, or it could be my dear husband fooling around with an intern... or it could be a baby" she thought.
Only at the end of her shift, she stopped by the hospital pharmacy for a pregnancy test. But she didn't take it that night because when she arrived at the trailer, she was surprised to find Derek sitting on the couch with Doc resting his head on his legs. He seemed concerned about the dog's condition, which made her worry too, and she forgot that she had a test in her bag.
She took the positive test in her hands and stared at it. How did this happen? Well, she already knew how it happened.
But... had she taken her pills correctly? She couldn't remember exactly if she had taken them every day.
Did she keep them in her bag the two days she was on call last month?
What about the time she had an allergic reaction to poison ivy?
What medication did Bailey prescribe her? Did she take antibiotics?
And the day Mark came to Seattle, did she take the pill after crying inconsolably for hours?
She knew the responsibility was not only hers. They both knew that it's always recommended to use two or more types of birth control at the same time, just in case one of them fails.
But that discussion had become obsolete in the past when they both agreed that Addison was careful enough not to have any mishaps.
A streak of over 15 years without surprise pregnancies had given her a good reputation, hadn't it? In addition, in all this time she…
"Addison, how much longer are you going to take?" Derek's voice behind the door made her jump and quickly forget about her thoughts.
"I..."
"The appointment with the vet is at 9 a.m, if you don't hurry up we're going to be late. I still need to take a shower before we leave. How much longer are you gonna take?"
Addison quickly put away the pregnancy test in the pocket of her pajama pants, she took some toilet paper and wiped away the tears that had inevitably welled up in her eyes.
She opened the door and Derek was impatiently looking at her.
"Haven't you changed yet? Are you okay?" he said, looking her up and down, surprised to not find her perfectly ready as he imagined she would be at this time in the morning.
"Yes... It's just... I'm..."
Is this supposed to be the moment when she tells him "Congratulations, honey, we're going to be parents, I'm pregnant"?
"Are you sick? Your face looks awful."
"Thank you, dear. I love you too" she thought.
"I'm fine."
"Okay, then hurry up. I have a surgery scheduled after Doc's appointment and I need to get to the hospital as soon as possible."
He didn't wait for her to respond and went into the shower cabin, turning on the water.
~•~
"That's it? That's your diagnosis?" Derek exclaimed, questioning what the veterinarian had just said.
"Yes, he said bone cancer, so that would be his diagnosis" Meredith responded, looking at him seriously, clearly annoyed by Derek's condescending tone.
"I heard him. I was double-checking." he replied.
Addison was sitting between them and seemed confused by the situation. She could sense the aggression in Derek's responses, and it embarrassed her, but he didn't seem to care at all about appearing completely arrogant. She already knew Derek's thoughts on veterinarians, he didn't even consider them doctors, let alone surgeons.
"I still need to do a bone scan to see how far it's spread. Osteosarcomas are very aggressive, but we can try and treat it with chemo, or remove the tumor entirely. If it's spread too far, we may have to amputate the limb" Finn said, as carefully as possible, knowing it was a sensitive topic for pet owners.
"At that point, should we even bother?" Derek asked.
"Oh, right. Let's just let him die." Meredith replied sarcastically.
"I don't want him to suffer, Meredith."
"Right."
Addison continued to look from side to side without uttering a word. She was lost, unsure if the tension in the air was solely due to the dog's health or if there was something else between Derek and Meredith that she wasn't aware of.
"Come on, Addison, I'll be late for my surgery" Derek said, grabbing Doc's leash and leaving the veterinary office.
~•~
Addison knew the accuracy of pregnancy tests was fairly high, so the fact that it could be a false positive, never crossed her mind.
However, she still needed to get a blood test to know how far along she was.
They left Doc resting in the trailer,and went to the hospital.
After an uncomfortable encounter in the elevator with Meredith, where Addison had suspicions about them having an affair due to the tense atmosphere between them, Derek quickly went up to operating room 2 to perform a craniotomy on a patient. She took advantage of having no patients for the next two hours to go to the laboratory to have a blood sample taken.
She knew it was risky, as she could run into a colleague or an intern at any moment, and on the way there, she had already been thinking of excuses to use in case that happened.
"It's just a routine exam, I do them every six months" or, "I think I have anemia, I've been very tired lately" or "Hey, guess what? I'm so forgetful that I don't remember my blood type, I need to check it" she thought about saying.
Luckily, at the time of the extraction, she didn't see anyone she knew, which saved her from telling a stupid lie. She was never good at spontaneously inventing excuses.
She'd only have the results by the end of the afternoon.
At that moment, Addison's pager beeped, it was Derek asking her to come up to the operating room 2. The patient he was about to operate on was 12 weeks pregnant and he needed someone to monitor the fetus.
~•~
"Did you hear me, Derek?" Addison asked impatiently as he rubbed his arms.
"I heard you."
"So, you're not going to tell me what's going on between you and Meredith?"
"I told you. There's nothing to tell."
"Kendra's parents are here" George O'Malley said entering through the exterior door.
"Let them know the situation, have them sign the consent forms, and then scrub in."
"Yes, Dr. Shepherd."
"Thank you." he responded and walked through the operating room door, a nurse handed him a gown and he put it on. He started the surgery without even looking at his wife.
Addison looked out the sink window with tears in her eyes. Derek was lying, she knew he was hiding something and he didn't even bother to listen to her.
In that moment, she could only think of how absurd her life had become. Accidentally pregnant –for the second time– at the age of thirty-eight, with her husband completely ignoring her and sleeping with an intern in Seattle.
Well... she wasn't sure about the latter, but the tension that was created that morning in the veterinarian's office and Derek's lack of answers left her with more doubts than certainties.
When would she be able to tell him?
How would Derek react when she told him?
Would he be happy?
Would he be emotional?
Or would he be completely indifferent like he is every day? Would he even bother to listen to her or would he run off to grab a surgery to avoid her?
"At that point, should we even bother to have a baby, Addison?"
~•~
While she was leaving her office after changing her navy blue scrubs for the black dress she had this morning, she saw Meredith entering the conference room with some papers in her hands. Without thinking twice, she decided to follow her.
"Meredith?" she timidly asked, peeking through the door.
She turned around quickly. She could tell that her eyes were swollen and slightly red, a clear sign that she had been crying. She needed to know the reason behind her tears.
"Hey..."
"Uh, have you seen Dr. Karev?" She didn't even know why she asked that, she already knew that Alex was in the ICU at the moment. Perhaps she said it to beat around the bush. Although, in reality, that's what she wanted to do the most.
"Uh... hours ago."
"Okay... sorry, I, uh… I'm not sorry... I just… I'm having a little trouble because I need to ask you something. And I don't usually have trouble. But what I need to ask… I'm not even sure I want the answer to, but I have to ask. So I'm just going to ask you and then you answer and then…uhm… I'll go from here. Okay?" she said nervously. She hated feeling like this in front of people, she hated showing her insecurity.
"Okay."
"Are you sleeping with my husband?" she blurted out quickly as if that would make it less painful. Like ripping off a band-aid in one go, to make the pain last shorter.
"Not since before I knew he was married."
"Okay..." she let out a nervous laugh and made a move to leave but turned back around. "Except, you know, it just… it felt like… at the vet's office this morning, and then again in the elevator… it felt a little like you two were having a lover's quarrel?"
"No, we're not. I've moved on. I'm dating Finn" Meredith responded wearily.
"You're dating the vet?… Okay..."
"Addison..."
"No, no. Thanks. I'm... I'm good... thanks, I'm great"
Clearly, she wasn't great. Not when she was finding out that her husband's aggressive attitude towards the veterinarian had been a jealous reaction because he was her ex's new boyfriend.
~•~
Minutes before leaving the hospital, Addison went to the laboratory to take the results of her blood test. She hadn't had the opportunity to run into Derek for the rest of the day. She'd asked about him at the reception, and they'd informed her that he was still in surgery.
In a way, she was relieved knowing that. She was still not sure how she would feel when she saw him.
It had been a very intense day. She still couldn't believe that it was that same morning when she found out she was pregnant. A couple of hours later, she was confirming it for the second time that day as she opened the white envelope and read her report:
"Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, Addison A.
Beta hCG in blood: positive.
Beta levels: 5-426 mIU/ml, equivalent to 3-4 weeks of pregnancy."
Hi, there! This is my very first addek's fanfic. I really hope you like and enjoy it. I apologize in advance for my grammar, English's not my main language and I'm doing the best I can.
Thank you, xx.
