A few nights ago, I made a Tumblr post about Elijah talking to Kol in the coffin, admitting he's a huge hypocrite. Someone made the comment along the lines of "They were so terrible to him, yet wouldn't let him leave." And that got the gears going…
This is somewhat an AU of the Baby Vampire verse, with things that I don't plan to go into (for example, Klaroline having more kids, the child Matt/Rebekah adopt, Finn being alive, etc) as I'd prefer to keep that fic about Kol, Elijah and Hayley. This one shot won't make sense if you haven't read that verse.
Kol is still a Little, but he's in an adult space here.
I wouldn't say this is Finn bashing. I'm not a huge fan of his, but I also tried to write him in a nuanced perspective. Still, he deserves every bit of what Kol dishes out.
I may add a bit more to this, focusing on Finn/Kol, but that'd be about it. Nothing with the other characters, except Elijah and maybe Hayley. I know people like seeing Kol's dynamic with others but I've found outside Klaus, Rebekah and Matt, I really struggle writing about the other dynamics that aren't the main ones in this verse. All the background stuff mentioned won't be happening in the main verse.
Anyway, with my usual rambling out of the way, please enjoy.
While Kol once enjoyed everyone under one roof, it's somewhat of a relief when the family decides to sell their large New Orleans manor and go their separate ways. Well, that's a bit dramatic. They all built houses within their own private neighborhood, but they'll have their own space. As much as Kol has somewhat mended fences with Marcel, he feels even more secure in his relationship with Elijah when it's just them and Hayley.
The descision came after Finn was somehow resurrected. Reunited with his long lost lover, Sage, they knew the house was crowded. As it was, Klaus and Caroline had their 3 boys (Marcel, Jeremy and Tyler), Matt and Rebekah just adopted April. Even with the sprawling mansion, they were running out of space. As it was, Klaus' sons were sharing a room. Kol and April didn't find it fair to the rest that they were the only kids with their own spaces.
All of the houses were tailored to their specific tastes. For once, Kol's room matched his personality. Soft, gray walls. Furniture that wasn't from the 1800s, but rather IKEA. He had a separate calm down, sensory area with his fidgets. His bed was on the floor, rather than high up. It blended in with the rest of the home, which was a mix of modern (Hayley) and classic (Elijah).
One of the biggest draws of the new house? It was away from Finn.
Kol tried to be happy that his eldest brother was alive, but it reminded him of how much everyone had changed. Finn wasn't around for any of it. He was frozen in time. The same older brother that Kol feared. Even though they've been cordial, Kol keeps his distance.
That is until they begin packing.
Kol is alone in his room, sorting his things. He's put his hoodies in vacuum sealed bags so they don't get damaged. These are his "safe" clothes. It won't be fun to lose them. As it is, he's bringing his absolute favorites in the car with him.
He feels his elder brother's presence before he walks into the room. Kol stands up straight, folding his arms over his chest. Everyone in their family is tall (or Kol was before his younger side made him shrink to 5"6), but Finn takes the cake. At 6"1, he towers even above Elijah. Despite spending a good few centuries in a coffin, he's got the largest muscles of the family. He's the oldest creature to walk this Earth, that they know of.
It's impossible to not feel intimidated by any of that.
"What do you want, Finn?" Kol asks, trying to keep his voice steeled.
Finn scoffs. "Relax, I was coming to see if you had any extra boxes. Sage has more clothes than we realized."
"Don't know how one could forget what clothes they had, but fine." Kol points to a stack of flat boxes in the corner. "You'll have to assemble them yourselves. If you two put your combined 5 brain cells together, I'm sure you'll be just fine."
Finn narrows his eyes. Kol bites his lip for all of a moment. "I accepted long ago that you do not respect me, Brother. Or any member of this family for that matter." Kol opens his mouth, but Finn powers on. "But you will not speak of my wife in such fashion."
"You and I have funny definitions of respect."
Kol goes back to vacuum sealing his pink hoodie. Finn stands there for a moment, looking around the room. The younger brother has put off packing for a bit, so most of his things are still out. Finn picks up his teddy bear by the ear and examines it with a look of confusion.
"What is this?"
"That is a toy. Often used for fun. Not surprised you don't recognize it."
"We didn't have such things when I was alive. Just those wooden figures Niklaus whittled." Finn hums. "Thought these were for children."
"Mama gave it to me." Kol snatches it from him and throws it back on the bed. "Get your boxes and go."
Finn doesn't move. "Mama. Right. And Elijah's your father now. Does that make me your uncle?"
His tone is accusatory. Kol huffs, placing the bag down. He knows for a fact Elijah and Klaus explained all this to him.
"No. I still consider Klaus and you my brothers. Rebekah is my sister. Elijah and Hayley adopted me. That's it."
"Adopted a grown man." Finn tsks. "Guess you finally got the bit of attention you always craved."
"Yes, because I was so wrong to want a bit of love!" Kol snaps.
Finn raises a brow. "You can't talk to me in such a way…"
"Shut up, Finn! Just shut up!"
Anger fills the older brother's eyes. Kol shakes his head, powering on.
"You were obsessed with Mother, hanging off her apron strings for far too long. You did Father's bidding. Elijah looked after Nik, making sure he was protected. Klaus was obsessed with Rebekah. Everyone coddled and loved on Henrik because he was the baby. Where the hell did that leave me?!"
"You were loved," Finn tries to dismiss.
"I rarely ever felt it. No one was ever on my side! The only time I got a bit of attention was when I acted out. And even then, it was you whipping me or Elijah's lectures. Eventually, I was shoved in permanent timeouts, just so they didn't have to deal with me anymore!"
"They did the same to me."
"No, it's not nearly the same!"
Kol runs his fingers through his hair. He knows he should do his breathing. Grab his favorite pillow or one of his fidgets. Even walk away. But he doesn't want to do that.
"They staked you for being a sanctimonious jerk who thought he was better than the rest of us. You wanted to find a way to end your life, knowing that the rest of us would go with you! I was the one who wanted this family, but they never wanted me!"
For once, he sees a flicker of doubt in Finn's eyes. A tear trickles down Kol's face.
"What made it worse? Eventually, I tried to leave. Many, many times. Figured if I wasn't wanted or if Marcellus would be treated better than I, then why stick around?" He shrugs, wiping at his eyes. "But Klaus wouldn't let me! He dug his claws in and forced me to stay. Elijah could've stopped him, but instead he kept me in that damn box. And for what? If they didn't want me that bad, why not just let me leave?!"
Kol chokes back a sob. It's bad enough he's crying in front of Finn. He hasn't done that since they were children.
His elder brother is silent. Kol expects some sanctimonious speech, perhaps condemning him or calling him selfish. Instead, he stands there, guilt creeping across his face. Kol sniffles, doing all he can to dry his eyes.
"Take your boxes and get the hell out of my room."
For once, Finn says nothing of his swearing. He follows his younger brother's commands. Kol sinks onto his bed. He holds on tight to the pillow he stole from Elijah years ago. The case is torn and a little frayed. He refuses to let it go.
In this moment, it's the only thing grounding him to the room.
Kol is alone in his room for a couple of hours. He doesn't get back to packing. Instead, he lays on his bed, hugging tightly to his pillow and running his fingers against the weighted bear. Unlike most stuffed animals, this has just the right texture. The bear can't shed or get torn. It's consistent. That's what Kol needs.
His door squeaks open and Elijah walks in. Kol sniffles, hugging his pillow tighter.
"If you're here to lecture me for how I spoke to Finn, I don't want to hear it."
"Nay, Little Prince. You're not in trouble."
"Why?" Kol twists the bear's arm. "'Cause it's Finn?"
Elijah softly chuckles. "No. Despite the issues I have with our brother, in any other context, I wouldn't be pleased with you losing your temper."
"Then why is this different?"
"Because you were right."
Kol frowns, sitting up a bit against his tie-dye backrest pillow. Elijah climbs beside him on the bed. He gently moves the somewhat heavy bear onto Kol's lap. It brings another bout of comfort.
"We treated you horribly," Elijah says, guilt woven into his voice.
Kol shakes his head. "Dad, you've already apologized for this. Hundreds of times. I'm not upset with you anymore. I just got mad at Finn because he acted like I had no reason to be cross with the family."
"We've talked about not treating you the same, but I don't think we've discussed the part about us forcing you to stay."
Kol ducks his head. Elijah puts two fingers under his chin, allowing them to meet eye to eye. Kol swallows.
"Dad…we don't have to…"
"But we do. You're right. We did all those awful things to you, then made you stick around us while we did."
Kol temporarily sucks on the pillowcase, then stops himself. "Why?" His voice sounds so young, confused.
"Nik was…perhaps still is…very possessive. He wanted all of us together, just not in the healthiest of ways. When he felt we crossed him, well…"
"We received eternal timeouts," Kol interrupts.
Elijah sighs. "Yes. I went along with all of it, in hopes that it'd keep him somewhat rational. Maybe it'd lead him on a path to redemption. But the truth is, that only happened when I held him accountable."
"We've had this conversation before."
"Allow me to get to my point."
Elijah inhales through his nose, taking a few moments to exhale.
"I wanted it both ways. For Klaus to go back to the brother I once knew…and to keep you with me. Somehow."
Kol furrows his brows. "But why? All I did was cause destruction. I was traumatizing Marcel, murdering people by the dozens."
"And you were still my baby brother. Even if I was terrible about showing it, I loved you. I…I didn't want to lose you. I had hopes…Heavens, this is terrible."
Kol bites his lip. "You can tell me, Daddy."
Elijah gently cups his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. A soft smile forms on the father's lips. "I wanted my own redemption. To be the brother, perhaps even the father, that you always deserved. I wanted to help you some day, just as I was Klaus."
Kol looks at him with wide eyes. He always knew of his dad's guilt, but did it really go all the way back?
"Maybe I should've let you go," Elijah murmurs. "Allowed you to live your own life, as destructive as it was. My heart wouldn't let me. Because even in my worst moments as a brother, I loved my family. I wanted us all together. Always and forever." Elijah sighs. "I just wish it didn't take me so long to achieve that."
Kol leans against him. Elijah wraps his arms tight around his little boy.
"I don't know what would've hurt worse," Kol whispers. "You forcing me to stay in that house…or you letting me go."
Elijah fiddles with his curls. "I suppose we'll never know."
"No. But…I wouldn't choose to go back and see."
"Oh?"
Kol shakes his head, craning his neck to look up at his dad. "I don't think we'd have this if you had let me go. And I wouldn't trade you or Mama for anything."
Elijah softly smiles, kissing his nose. Kol leans back against him, allowing his dad to play with his hair.
"I'd trade Finn for the new Madden game," he muses.
Elijah snorts, only lightly patting his thigh. "I think there are several times we've all had that thought. Albeit, for me it's a Desmond Merrion Supreme bespoke suit."
Any sadness within Kol melts away, as he bursts into laughter. The amused smile on his dad's face calms him more than his pillow or the weighted bear.
As always, please let me know what you think! And if you want to hear my ramblings or see outfit collages I make for my series, check out my Tumblr under the same name. Anonymous asks are on and I love chatting with you all!
