A/N
For the longest time I lost my muse, my life fell apart for a while, and I lost all my hope to write. I have slowly started getting back into it. My other projects are not on permanent hiatus, I had this idea as a starting point for getting back into the swing of things. This is a time travel fix-it fic with a focus on angsty-hurt/comfort, romance, and friendshipping. While the black rebellion will still be happening, a lot of the stuff going on here will be focusing on the relationships between characters which will then influence their decisions, changing the outcome of things in a rippling effect.
This is an experimental mild AU, containing a Lelouch that is far more deeply hurt than they let on, beyond the cold front and the masks they wear, with mild contextual alterations to the events of R1 and R2. With Lelouch being more empathetic than they appear on the outside
Main romantic relationship is as follows: ([Kallen/Leila/Lelouch/Suzaku/Milly/Shirley/C.C./Kaguya] polyamorous Straight/Yuri) with 'Lelouch' being the main focal point between all the girls. Mix between fast and slow burn in some instances.
Why does it say Yuri you ask? Why is Lelouch's name in 'apostrophes'?
Because I have decided to make this a Fem! Lelouch story following the timetravel shenanigans. Memories of Male Lelouch being transposed into "Lelucia"
If this is not your thing, please look elsewhere.
Secondary/Implied Pairings: [Suzaku/Euphie] [Cornelia/Guilford] [Jeramiah/Sayoko] [Rolo/Nunnally] [Rivalz/Nina] [Tohdo/Chiba] [Ohgi/Viletta] [Jeanne Rowe/Monica Krushevsky] [Dorothea Ernst/Nonette Enneagram] [Lloyd/Rakshata] [Gino/Cecile]
Friendshipping fluff will be taking place between many of the aforementioned characters, especially friendshiping between Lelucia with the Black Knights and general wholesomeness. Also includes some elements of Akito the Exiled. Things may feel somewhat OOC and if that's not something you want to put up with then by all means ignore this story. PTSD is a thing and nobody, not even Lelouch/Lelucia, is immune to the horrors of war and death and the trauma it brings.
Rated MA for frequent cursing, nudity, sexual situations, mentions of suicide/depression, mental health, PTSD, drugs, smoking and alcohol, gambling, torture and the usual warcrime simulator stuff.
I don't claim to be a great writer or even a good one, I am perhaps middling at the very best of times so if ya wanna flame me for that go ahead but I'm not gonna respond. This is an idea I had, wanted to write, and decided to share, If you end up liking this, I am happy.
For those of you who read this please enjoy and review.
Kallen promised herself she would not cry
Never again, she cried her last tears when Lelouch, that selfish asshole, committed assisted suicide right in front of her
And yet here and now she wanted nothing more than to weep
Schneizel broke his Geass
He went after Nunnally first, poisoned her, and she suffered on the throne Lelouch gave her... it was slow, it was painful, and it caused the death of an angel.
He usurped her the moment she was declared dead, and set the empire on a warpath, just like it had before.
The Pacific theater fell in 2 months. China capitulated, Japan was enslaved yet again. The Black Knights where pushed back
Europe panicked, and put a fanatical dictator in charge. Nazi Europe fought with equal bloodlust against Britannia, and the casualties mounted. Hundreds of millions died...
And then those accursed weapons of mass destruction began to fall, ICBM's where launched with Fleija warheads, and billions died in minutes...
The world was ending. And she got a front row seat...
She sat next to her Guren, damaged as it was from the constant fighting and lack of maintenance, her poor machine was on its last legs. And she looked on with a blank stare at the glass bowl that had once been Warsaw, Poland. Her breath turning to steam in the cold as she huddled under the cloak of Zero- the original cloak, found in the sands of the island he fled to with Rolo when the Black Knights- when she, his Q-1, betrayed him... a second time no less. The cloak, and her hair fluttered in the dry winds, the only sound to reach her ears was that, cold, hallow breeze.
Nobody won... nobody at all. The world had reached its prophesized end of days, built on the backs of tyrants, lapdogs, heroes and martyrs.
That fire within her, so passionate, so raw, so empowering, had been snuffed out when Lelouch died. She was one of the few who knew the truth. She figured it out the moment "Zero" had appeared in the Horizon. The moment Lelouch smirked, like he had planned it all, the moment everyone chanted for the fake all while she and Nunnally wept for the loss of someone they loved so much...
Kallen loved Lelouch, she didn't tell him until it was too late, until the last of his hope had been snuffed and his path lead only to his own meaningless death.
And now here she was, the last guardian of a cold dead world that gave no mercy and got none in return. The sky overcast with ash and smoke, the ground littered with the dead and destroyed. The winds carrying naught but whispers of the dying screams of countless innocents.
She looked to her left, finding some measure of comfort in the sight of Zero sitting next to an equally damaged Maharoba. Suzaku had kept his word when he swore to do everything he could to protect the world... she knew he tried, and while part of her still resented him for what happened during the black rebellion, she found solace in the man, if only because of their shared pain. They where kindred spirits in that respect, and they both knew it.
Their last battle ended hours ago. Suzaku had managed to kill Schneizel, just barely, while Kallen played decoy. Not unlike what happened in Shinjuku when she ran decoy for the original zero until he killed Clovis
How bitterly ironic...
And yet that victory was only symbolic in the long run. They both knew it. Most of mankind was dead, or dying. Disease was rampant, the crops stopped growing, average temperatures fluctuated dangerously and tectonic plates shifted in ways they shouldn't have all while sea levels continued to rise.
Humanity fought itself to the edge of extinction, and in doing so they made sure to doom Earth and the rest of their species in the process. It might take days, months, years even. But they where all going to die... there was no coming back from this, their fate was sealed...
She reached into one of the inner pocket linings of the zero cloak she was using as a comfort blanket, pulling out a pack of smokes and a lighter. She started smoking after Lelouch died, and try as she might have to quit, there wasn't much of a point now, so she indulged herself, taking out her last one and lighting it with an old zippo, and urgently taking a deep puff before letting go, the smoke mixing with the steam of her breath.
She absentmindedly offered it to Suzaku, who after taking a moment to contemplate, seemed to realize the consequences of smoking where moot at this point and gingerly took it from her. Pulling off his cracked Zero mask and taking a drag himself.
Kallen closed her eyes, huddled up under the cloak, her security blanket, and she cried.
And Suzaku cried with her.
Their expressions remained neutral at first, there where no grimaces or quiet sobs, but slowly, their tears flowed, and they stared blankly at the world that had been left in the wake of meaningless violence.
Kallen reached up to her neck, and tugged at a small string that hung around it, pulling the Guren key that had not-so-tastefully been tucked into her cleavage.
She stared at it, she remembered the day Zero- the day Lelouch gave it to her, gifted her the Knightmare that she would use to protect and serve him... and then tried to kill him.
He was gone, she would never see him again, and it was all her fault... She let Suzaku take him away at the height of the Black rebellion even as he pleaded for them both to help him save his sister. And again, when she let herself be fooled into walking away from him. And then a third time even, when she fought against him from that point onwards until she helplessly watched him throw his life away for a peace that barely lasted a year.
Her tears welled up faster as her vision began to blur, and she cradled that damn key, like it was a piece of his soul, begging for him to come back, so she could see him one last time.
She closed her eyes, her mouth forming a grimace as she bared her teeth and tears flowed down her cheeks, dripping down her chin and gently washing over the Guren's activation key. Before slumping over, curling into a ball and pulling her hands closer to her heart holding it tight as she silently cried one last time.
Suzaku watched on silently. Saying nothing out of respect for the woman he had begun to call friend. He had cried for months after Euphie was killed, in what he now knew to be a freak accident... something he found out only after the Requiem had been carried out. And after that, he cried even more, for Lelouch and Euphie both. By the time he found Nunnally dead on her throne, he had no more tears to give. Or so he thought.
But seeing Kallen break down made him loose his composure as well as he cried with her, letting his hand holding the cigarette rest on his knee while his other hand held is face in regret and remorse, his own tears falling to the ash-covered ground he sat on.
None of this would have happened if he had still been alive... if they had helped him, instead of hurting him so badly...
"Are you two really just gonna sit there and cry or are you ready to fix this?"
That caused them both to snap to their feet and draw their guns, turning to face the interloper...
And drop their weapons, recognizing a flowing green head of hair and yellow eyes.
C.C.
Kallen sighed. "What do you want witch?" She asked dryly. "Cant you see Suzaku and I are preparing to die."
"Quit the crybaby attitude queeny, its unbecoming of you. And you Suzaku? I didn't think you could cry." She drawled
"Kallen asked a question, what do you want?" Suzaku inquired
"Yeah pizza girl." Kallen asked snidely, jealousy over the witch's closer relationship with Lelouch bleeding through
"To fix this." C.C. repeated.
"Pfft, and how do you propose we do that?" Kallen asked
"By stopping it from happening in the first place."
That caused them both to stop and stare at her
"Good, now that I have your attention, lets get moving. The air grows thinner by the second."
Suzaku and Kallen didn't like this place. The thought elevator in front of them. This was where Lelouch had begged for help to save Nunnally, and he had been callously ignored by two people he held dear. By Suzaku from the shock and anger of Euphie's death and V.V.'s half truths, and Kallen because she couldn't believe he was Zero.
"Put your hands on my shoulders, and don't let go."
Suzaku and Kallen shared a look at each other, not really skeptical since they knew about Geass and such, but mostly just because it felt... awkward.
They shrugged, doing as C.C. directed and placing their hands firmly on either of the witch's shoulders, before the limette reached up and placed her hand against the wall...
When they opened their eyes, they found themselves in the clouds, standing on them even, with a perpetual sunset in the distance. Jupiter was above them, marked with Lelouch's geass wish.
This was a first for Kallen, but she remained focused on the objective.
"So... what now?"
"Now we wait."
"For what?"
C.C. opted not to answer, instead staring out across the sea of clouds, staring at the fading dusk... the twilight of humanity was nigh.
C.C. closed her eyes then, took a deep breath
"God... Dimensional Supervisor. We need your help, and we know you need ours, we beseech you." C.C. said to seemingly no one, but as soon as she finished speaking, a woman appeared, slumped in her chair looking haggard and weak, her veins visible through her skin, black as ink. She looked emaciated, half dead even, like she would pass away at any moment... the thing that made Kallen pause where her eyes... her eyes where the same dazzling color as Lelouch... they looked similar in a few ways and it was chilling.
"Hello C.C." She said quietly "Come to visit me one last time?"
"No, I'm here to make a request."
The Dimensional Supervisor stared weakly at C.C. before letting out a sigh
"I know."
"You are dying. Lelouch saved you once, he can do so again, you just need to give him a chance."
"My duty is to safeguard humanity and the laws of the universe, if i did what you asked of me i would be breaking my obligation."
"If you don't grant me this wish, you'll cease to exist."
"I know."
There was a tense silence. The fact that they where currently having an audience with god was... not lost on Kallen or Suzaku, who remained respectfully quiet as they watched the exchange
"Why?" God eventually asked. "You wanted to die so badly, for hundreds- nay, a thousand years, why change your mind now?"
"You know why."
"I do. I just want to hear you say it."
C.C. was again rendered silent for a time, but knew she could not afford her usual stubborn attitude, she answered
"Because I love him."
God smiled
"There... that wasn't so hard now, was it...?" She asked as she seemed to grow even weaker, her body, once beautiful, now looked like a husk as her hair fell out and her eyes sank in... knowing that she represented the health of the human race made it all the more chilling.
She turned to look at Kallen.
"Because I love him." The redhead parroted C.C.'s response, it was honest.
God then turned to look at Suzaku.
"Because I love him."
God smiled.
"Love is the strongest Geass... love is power... love is what will save Lelouch, humanity, and by extension me." The caretaker closed her eyes.
"You wont be enough."
That caused the trio to flinch.
"Then, you are saying we will fail?" C.C. asked pensively
"No, I'm saying you need allies." The dimensional supervisor said, before snapping her fingers, and suddenly, people fell from the sky, 5 to be exact.
Cornelia, Euphemia, Nunnally, Milly, and Shirley, all of them slowly came to a stand. Taking stock of their surroundings, it was strange, to be able to think and feel again after dying. The dimensional supervisor let them adjust.
"Euphie!"
"Nelly!"
The Li Britannia sisters collided, practically tackling each other to the ground, while Milly hugged Shirley tight, comforting her.
Nunnally was left alone, she seemed to search for someone, but lost hope when she didn't see him, though intrigued that she could stand on her own two feet now, she idly wondered how long it would last as she looked up to see the Dimensional supervisor.
"There, now the proceedings can commence in earnest." God said, slightly bemused. "Tell me, do you like the world you inherited."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well I just figured, since you killed the one person I placed upon the Earth to save everyone, you must have really hated the idea of salvation and peace." God suddenly sounded far less amicable as her face remained solid in stone, her eyes baring judgement.
"Excuse me... miss-" Nunnally said, and the Supervisor simply nodded to her. "What do you mean?"
"I'm saying, that I specifically created Lelouch to save the world." She said, causing everyone to blanch. "He is a human still, flawed, one of my own design however, I saw to his birth, and I spun the strands of fate in his favor to see to your continued survival as a species. Why do you think he looks so much like me? It isn't his carrier Marianne, she actually has recessive genes, he'd look a lot more like Nunnally if Charles did the work there. It was me who planted Lelouch inside Marianne's womb, I figured if the bitch was gonna try to kill me I might as well satisfy my own ego by making her look fat for a while she grows her own impending doom."
Everyone started gaping like a fish, slack-jawed as they thought about what god was saying.
"But... that would make him-" Cornelia began.
"A messiah." The caretaker finished, cutting her off. "My prophet, my messenger, my fallen angel, who's duty it was to guide and protect humanity." She leaned back in her chair, looking thoroughly unamused. "And what do you do in response? You make him commit assisted suicide ala childhood best friend, ain't that grand? I basically gave you the second coming of Christ and you go killing him again. Joy to the world and all that good shit you prattle about on Christmas with lots of suffering and self-sacrifice. He DID literally die for all your sins after all, has that irony fallen on you yet?" She asked, sounding annoyed. "Did you enjoy seeing my son's blood smeared all over the place? Was it fun?"
Everyone was shell-shocked, and guilt weight on everyone present. Some cried, some looked destroyed and depressed... and Suzaku, seemingly loosing his mind again, started to laugh.
"Oh my god..." Cornelia said, covering her mouth, trying to come to terms with what was being said.
"No need to call for me little Nelly I'm right here." God said blandly, causing the eldest Li Britannia to go stiff. "You are all idiots, part of me really wants to smite you and just not let you join the collective subconscious but that doesn't really matter right now because as it happens the collective wont exist anymore quite shortly. Aside from that we share a common goal, we want the world saved, and everything that it entails. And so because you wish to redeem yourselves I am giving you a second chance."
Everyone looked relieved, as god continued to speak. "You must be there for him, help him, guide him, comfort him. Be his anchor, his sword and shield, the focus of his unyielding resolve... he loves you, all of you, and he deserves to be shown love in return. With the exception of Fenette you have all wronged him... but you already knew that, didn't you?"
Cornelia bristled. "I admit my wrongdoing, of not trying harder to find him and keep him safe after the invasion... and much more, but what did Euphie do?"
God gazed upon Cornelia, and she gulped, finding her normally unbreakable soldier attitude completely shattering under the gaze of the one above all.
"The SAZ."
"What? But she-!"
"Cornered him, forced him into an unwinnable predicament in which every choice was the wrong one not through malice but by her own shortsighted naïve nature. If he didn't agree the black knights would have died out as able bodied recruits fled to the SAZ and he looked like a warmonger, the rebellion would have died, if he agreed then he would have to stop fighting and lay down his arms, to do either would cause him to run out of time to stop Charles and Marianne from completing the sword of akasha, thus killing me and destroying the world as you know it, removing what it means to be human. I forced a third option, an alternative."
The third option... that was-
"You caused the massacre." Nunnally whispered, horrified.
"Technically I just enabled it to happen but if you want to blame me, go ahead, I don't care. Worldwide salvation from the apocalypse supersedes a massacre. I caused Lelouch's Geass to go rogue, he did the rest."
"All this time... I blamed him..." The warrior princess said, sounding more and more sorrowful as for once her hate turned inward.
"Well he did have poor choice in wording, its like... half his fault?" God said, raising an eyebrow as Cornelia fumed, that was her brother and she was made to hate him by circumstances outside of his control, all while dooming poor Euphie. Suzaku seemed just as hurt.
"If you want the world to go a certain way why not just force it to?" Kallen asked abruptly.
"It isn't about wanting the world to go a certain way, its about ensuring the survival of mankind, but there is only so much I can influence on the physical plane. I am the embodiment of mankind. Its desire to learn, to thrive, to grow and prosper and expand, I am the personification of humanity made manifest... but humanity wants a trillion different things, a new pair of shoes, a less bitchy wife, some extra money in the next check to pay off the mortgage, a vacation, to kill their asshole boss or give their boyfriend a kiss. The only thing most humans want, is to live, it is a cycle. Humans live, ensuring my creation, and in doing so I ensure that humanity is able to think, learn, grow, and adapt, which in turn makes me just a little bit stronger in the metaphysical realm wherein I can protect and guide mankind, thus making certain our mutual continued existence."
That seemed to mollify Kallen, who's mind was racing.
"I have a question..." Shirley spoke, and god nodded at her. "You said you created him to fulfill a purpose, does... does that mean he doesn't have free will...? Is he... is he a slave to you? As much as his geass made others a slave to him?" Shirley asked.
God shook her head. "I weaved the winds of fate to set him on the path I needed him to go, but every decision he made along the way was his own, and after he completed his mission, he would have been able to live his life freely. I needed him to do what was necessary, nothing more."
Shirley nodded, seeming relieved.
"With that out of the way, I think its only fair to teach you about empathy." God muttered. "My son has suffered plenty, its time for you to understand just how much weighs on him, that way this time around you wont be so hasty to parade him through the street after you gut him."
Her words stung, but as they where about to retort, a shockwave tore through the world of C, emanating from Jupiter.
"What is, was. What was, has been. What has been, will be." The caretaker's voice echoed, as the sun finally set, and she turned to dust...
Everything went black... and they where forced to see everything, starting from the beginning.
Lelouch stood on the ground floor of the Ares villa, a little boy, no older than 10, he looked up the stairs to see child Nunnally being carried down the stairs by Marianne. The visage of the dimensional supervisor stood by the railing, arms crossed as she stared at the other members of the "audience"
While Shirley, Kallen and Suzaku didn't know what was coming, the others did. Nunnally clenched her teeth and balled up her fists, forcing herself to face what was to come. Milly watched on with quiet acceptance, Euphie tried to bury herself into Cornelia's ribs to avoid looking, and Cornelia turned her head, they knew what was about to unfold. C.C. however, was impassive, simply watching from a distance.
Gunfire ripped through the windows, tracers zipped through the air, round after round plowing into Marianne's body, some of them going through and hitting child Nunnally, causing them to collapse halfway down the stairs, Nunnally was buried under her mother's body, eyes wavering as trauma and pain set in while Marianne's cold dead eyes stared off into space.
Child Lelouch stood there... mortified, until running towards them, desperately trying to pull his sister out from beneath his dead mom, crying, begging for help, for someone, for anyone to save them.
Kallen fell to her knees, wide eyed and mortified, as was Shirley who cried. And while Suzaku knew about what happened, he didn't know the gory, morbid details... not til now.
"This is technically a false memory." The supervisor said. "Implanted into his head by Charles, events took place differently, though it matters little. To Lelouch, this memory is VERY real." She said.
"Wait, father did this!? He made Lelouch see this!?" Cornelia asked, now sounding violently angry
"In his every waking nightmare."
"Thats... thats barbaric... its..." Kallen trailed off
"Torture." The dimensional supervisor finished. "Psychological torture are the words you're looking for, still wanna conquer the world for Charlie, Cornelia?" God asked, earning no reply from the warrior princess "Moving on..."
"You are dead to me!" The voice of Charles Zi Britannia rippled through the area, as the room had changed, the man stood above Lelouch, glowering down at the terrified looking child. "From the very day you where born you have always been dead to me!"
Those words cut through the group like a hot knife through butter.
"Child abuse is grand innit, and look, the whole family is here to watch." The dimensional supervisor gestured to the memory-versions of the royal family, who did nothing but stand by and let it happen, some of them even looking pleased. Making the real-time audience very uncomfortable. "Be glad you had a dad Shirley, Lelouch basically never had one to begin with, yours showed you love, but he was also a bit of a monster." God mused, making Shirley flinch, but... what was that stench...?
Everyone found themselves in a new setting... a street, in a city bodies littered the streets, dried blood caked the sidewalk. Nobody was spared, women, children, the elderly, they where all dead. The only movement, which drew their collective attention, was a haggard looking young boy, carrying a little girl on his back. He looked terrified, weak, and emaciated. He shivered, his body caked in mud, his clothes tattered, scrapes and bruises littered his skin.
"Big brother, what's that smell?" The child Nunnally asked, and Lelouch answered.
"Oh, thats... just the trash Nunnally... the garbage men haven't come to pick it up yet." He lied through his teeth, an explanation for the flesh of the innocent rotting in the summer heat.
He set her down in a small, clear area on the sidewalk, and he weakly shifted through the bodies, he cried, his whole body shaking as he dug through purses and bags, until he found a bottle of water, and a little snack bag, immediately trying to give both to Nunnally, who frowned.
"Big brother, you haven't eaten yet-" She called him out.
"Its ok Nunnally, I found my own snacks." He lied once more, to trick her he reached in to the snack bag, pulled out a chip and broke off a little piece, sticking it in his mouth and making sure she could hear the crunch. "See?"
Little Nunnally fell for the ruse, nodding with a smile as her eyes remained closed. "Ok big brother."
As soon as little Nunnally started eating, he collasped silently next to her, curling up into a fetal position, he had to just sit there and stare at the carnage, rocking back and forth as he silently cried, quietly enough that Nunnally wouldn't hear it over the sound of her chewing.
"Damn, what a monster, good thing you skewered him while he was young, and died a virgin too, couldn't let this child of Satan have an offspring after all, though that last part was more his choice I suppose. He could have had anyone in the world while he was emperor, instead he settled for just getting fucked by the universe rather than a girl."
"Please..." the real Nunnally begged "Stop... please." As she said this, Euphemia, Shirley, Milly, and Kallen where all left a silent crying mess, watching the little boy suffer
"No, you made your bed, now lay in it." God replied callously.
They looked back to see Lelouch, sitting on a bed, still a young boy, stone faced on the outside, but his eyes told another story, one of loss, and guilt, he was haunted, by all that he had seen, all he had experienced, traumatized.
They looked down at his hands, one was outstretched in front of him, the other held a razor to his wrist.
Milly closed her eyes, deciding to answer the unasked question. "He started right after we took him in." She explained, as everyone snapped their heads to look at her. "Grandpa got him therapy, and Sayoko was made his guardian to make sure he stopped... there where a few close calls, but eventually he got it under control." She said quietly. "Why do you guys think he never wears anything that isn't long-sleeve? It hides the scars."
"Quite, though it doesn't counter the sin you planned against him later in life." God said. "Planning to expose him and force him to marry you, all so you could 1-up your greedy parents, what a wonderful wife you would have made."
"I didn't go through with it..."
"You almost did."
"Are you judging me for a sin I didn't commit?"
"The fact that you seriously considered it is what irks me Ashford." God said firmly, and Milly took that as a sign to back down and accept it for what it was.
Yet again the scenery changed, this time they stood in a command center, a dark G-1 mobile base.
Euphie recognized this place, and closed her eyes as the rest of the group looked on confused, seeing Euphemia in a beautiful dress, and Lelouch unmasked... one by one it dawned on them, and Cornelia, alongside Suzaku waited with baited breath, they saw the bamboo pistol he held.
"Lelouch, are you really going to shoot me?"
"No Euphie, you're the one who's going to be doing the shooting." He said, offering the gun to the pinkette, this caused everyone to look on in confusion and trepidation, wondering if this was it.
"Lelouch... why?"
"Because I can't let the SAZ get in my way, I will become a martyr and the Black Knights will grow even stronger as a result."
"But cant you see!? I'm doing this because I want to help people!"
"Liar! Royals don't do anything for charity, there's always a catch, something that will get them closer to the throne!"
"I gave up that right!" She shouted, causing Lelouch to falter.
"W-what...?"
"I gave up my claim to the throne. I'm not Her Royal Highness Euphemia Li Britannia... I'm just Euphie."
"You... would do that..." He asked, his guard lowering, the mask of the rebel he wore fell, and Lelouch Vi Britannia revealed himself for the first time in years
"I already have."
Lelouch put the gun down, and chuckled dryly.
"Euphemia, you are by far the worst enemy I have ever faced... alright, you win."
Suzaku grit his teeth, clenching his fist, the last embers of hate he had for Lelouch teetered on a knifes edge alongside Cornelia's own doubts.
The memory Euphemia smiled. "Lelouch, I'm so happy. But I have to ask, how do you think you could get me to shoot you? I'd never do that!"
Lelouch chuckled. "Well... its a sort of ability I have come to possess- Its almost like Magic actually, I can use it to command anyone to do anything, no matter what, and they'll do it..." Lelouch blinked, his hand moving up to his left eye... like it hurt.
Memory Euphemia giggled. "Don't be silly Lelouch, magic was something I only believed in when I was little, I've grown up!"
"I'm being serious Euphie, I've had to use it before, I needed it for many of my operations as Zero. I can give commands to anyone and they'd be unable to resist, hell, I could even give you the order to kill all the Japanese." He said firmly looking back at her, trying to get her to take him seriously
Memory Euphemia grabbed her arms, her whole body freezing up and she shook her head. "No! NO DON'T MAKE ME DO THA-" Her red ringed iris' went dull, and she smiled. "Of course!"
Lelouch looked confused and then horrified as did all of the onlookers.
"Wait- Euphie...?" He said, sounding petrified as his head whipped around and he forcefully grabbed a nearby mirror, seeing the blazing crimson sigil of geass burning away in his left eye.
"No..." He whispered, his voice trembling as terror filled him, he whipped around to see Euphie and the bamboo gun missing.
"NO! EUPHIE! FORGET THE ORDER! DON'T DO IT! STOP! EUPHIE!" He screamed desperately as he ran out of the room, his voice cracked
The scene changed, and they where in the middle of the SAZ stadium, gunfire roared as Knightmares encircled the civilians trying to flee, they saw Lelouch, Zero, in the stands, looking around, his mask turning in every direction as his hands shook in pure horror. He ducked as gunfire passed nearby, shooting up the dead bodies and soaking him in blood... but they didn't hear the gunfire, the screaming, it was muted, they heard his heart thundering in his chest, the pounding sounded rolling thunder as he clutched at his chest, hyperventilating, before slowly bringing his other hand up, looking at the glove he wore, caked in gore, it dripped with blood, and Lelouch shook his head his hands reaching up to his helmet, smearing blood all over it as a panic attack set in...
"STOP! STOP IT PLEASE! NO MORE!" Lelouch screamed his helmet tilted up to look at Euphemia, who was wielding an assault rifle and blazing away at anything that moved.
He stumbled forward, falling out of the stands as he picked up a pistol off the body of a dead soldier, walking towards Euphie, his arm shaking, fingers twitching.
'Euphie... if you ever come back to your senses... you would live a life like mine, one of anguish, one of pain, it would be a living hell... I would not doom you to that Euphie...' They heard his thoughts as he choked, slowly cocking the pistol.
"I'm so sorry... Euphie." He whispered, and as soon as the bloodied Euphemia turned to face Zero, he shot her.
She fell
His arm went limp dropping the gun
He fell to his knees, his blood-soaked hands digging into the stadium turf.
He unleashed a heart-breaking, anguished scream, that cut through every other sound. "Euphie..." He whimpered. "EUPHIE!" He cried out, broken, like he was a little boy back in pendragon all over again this time, his whole body shaking as he crawled towards the sister he loved reaching out...
Suzaku couldn't take it anymore... he broke, all his anger for Lelouch gone he sprinted towards the teenager he knew as a brother, desperately reaching out to comfort the phantom of Zero.
Suzaku froze up, as he lost control of his body, kneeling before the emperor now, he realized he was taking part in the show, looking at the others who continued to watch, he looked back down then, at Lelouch as he held his platonic brother's right eye open. The emperor activating his Geass, ripping Lelouch's mind apart as anguished screams of the black prince rippled through the area, making everyone flinch. They couldn't stop watching, mystified by the horror they where being forced to witness. They tried to look away from the suffering, and the supervisor wasn't letting them.
"Stop it..." Suzaku whimpered. "Don't-"
"I'm not doing anything, Kururugi, you're the one strangling my son."
Suzaku lost all color as he looked back down. Lelouch was beneath him, smiling up at Suzaku with an eyepatch covering his left eye... he could feel Lelouch's delicate neck being squeezed, a gentle cracking noise emanating from his throat as Suzaku amped up the pressure, unable to control his own arms, he shook his head and cried.
"STOP IT!" He begged, and finally he was released being flung to the side.
But they where not allowed respite, as God turned to look at Kallen this time.
Kallen froze like a deer in headlights, a spotlight shined down upon her, she looked down at herself, seeing her crimson pilot suit from her days in the Black Knights. She realized what was happening when she heard Lelouch behind her.
"You where my most valuable piece Q-1."
She whipped around to face him
His smile...
That DAMN smile, the one that haunted her in her dreams every night
She looked at it closer... at his eyes.
He was broken, she let him break, she wasn't there for him.
She wanted to run to him, to hug him, to cry into his shoulder and beg forgiveness, but when she tried, her feet moved in the opposite direction, she was leaving him all over again.
'If you want to protect someone you love, you keep them far away.' The voice of C.C. echoed as his sad eyes showed what he hid of his true feelings, and his lips moved, the words sliding into her ears.
"You have to live." He said quietly, and Kallen's eyes went wide as she made the connection, her heart breaking all over again.
"He already lost miss Fenette, he wasn't about to let you get yourself killed, I'd show you what happened at the mall but needless to say it was not his fault, however he still blames himself. I will not force Shirley to watch her own death, or how he took it, but after Nunnally it was the final straw." God said before turning away from them.
"And thus, Lelouch Vi Britannia saved the world, first by destroying the sword of Akasha and defeating the Emperor, then by defeating Schneizel... consumed by guilt he built a monument to humanity's sins... and sacrificed himself at the alter." The Supervisor said, as the scene of the parade played out in slow motion around them.
They watched it happen all over again in muted horror, now knowing the context for the entire series of events that transpired, until Lelouch slid down the ramp, landing in front of them all, smiling as he died, a hole in his chest where his heart lay, soaked in blood.
"Big brother..." Nunnally whimpered, crawling up to him, she held him tight crying openly.
"I destroyed the world... and created it... anew..." He whispered, his smile never leaving his face even as his eyes started to go dull, becoming half lidded.
"I... love... you."
His final words.
She wanted to scream, wanted to hold him, but he was torn away from her, and they where all back where it started, in the clouds, the sun setting behind god as she stared at the group before her. Sisters, lovers and a brother, all looking mortified by what they had seen. Guilt, sorrow, and lost love hung in the air, and desperation to make things right.
"Do you all understand now?" God asked
Everyone nodded, not trusting their mouths
"You know what must be done?"
Looks of determination flashed across the facial features of everyone present, a silent answer like the first.
"Good. Now go."
She napped her fingers, and everything went black.
"What is, was. What was, shall be. What once was, will be again."
"So you see Kururugi, the Empire you serve is despicable. Join me and we can bring real justice to-"
Lelucia stopped... her eyes going wide as her heart thundered inside her chest, beating at a mile a second, she felt it pounding within her skull, her whole body seemed to shake as she remembered a life she has not yet lived... every avoidable death, every heartbreaking betrayal, it spilled over in the span of a second to the point she was weak at the knees, dropping the arms she held up in a flourish as her mind desperately tried to cling to reality... her mouth went dry and her hands began to shake as a cold sweat overtook her...
She struggled to breathe, and collapsed, clutching her still thundering heart... she remembered it all... an entire year of his life... and her-his? Death. She pawed as her chest, her fingers digging into her bodyglove above her heart, like it was about to beat out of her chest, she began to cry in a panic, she was terrified. She died, she was supposed to be dead, why wasn't she dead? WHY WASNT SHE DEAD SHE NEEDED TO BE DE-
It stopped then... her heart slowing its pace... her mind began to clear as a sensation took over. Returning to reality... she felt embrace. Not the cold embrace of death by the sword. But Suzaku hugging her, crying as he stared into his own reflection in Zero's mask. Suzaku's hands held Lelucia's head up, holding onto the mask his lips quivering as he cried.
Lelucia cried with him, her shoulders sagging as she reached up and placed her hands on top of Suzaku's, as though to make sure she was real, and she held on as tight as she could.
Suzaku brought Lelucia's head forward, letting his forehead tap against the glass of the Zero mask he once hated so much and felt its cool exterior
Kallen then barged in frantically looking around until she saw them, and ran, nearly tripping over her own feet as she bolted towards them, and fell to her knees next to Lelucia, throwing her arms around the princess in the tightest hug she could manage...
He- or She, was back, they where back... in this exact moment everything, for once in their lives, was ok...
Lelucia breathed, forcing her last memory away... that one last painful memory, his- or her death at the hands of Suzaku... at the hands of the very persona she had created to destroy Britannia's tyranny... she could still feel it... the blood filling their lungs... the cold steep piercing their fragile heart...
She closed her eyes just... focusing on breathing, that's what she needed to do, she needed to breathe...
"Kallen... I need to go to court." Suzaku finally spoke up
Kallen's head snapped up, looking absolutely furious-!
"I'm going to help her Kallen, do whatever it takes... but, I know I am more valuable as an inside man. I'll be a Black Knight in secret... until the time is right. I'm still their best friend- their brother... and I hope I'm your friend too..."
That explanation calmed Kallen down considerably, returning to her now usual mellow as she nodded, understanding what Suzaku was getting at.
"You're right... get going, I'll take them back to Ashford... home."
Right... Ashford, their one shared home in all of this, the one place where they felt... normalcy... it would be nice to go back...
Suzaku reluctantly pulled away from Lelucia, and Kallen gently helped them to their feet, walking her down past the other resistance members who looked on in confusion and concern
Traitors...
She shot them a look with a shake of her head. "Later."
Ohgi and the others nodded but still seemed anxious and Tamaki looked like he was ready to say something stupid. Thankfully she got Lelucia out of there before any damage could be done. And with that she took the underground subways into the settlement, and took a series of detours to Ashford using its own secret tunnel system before bringing her up to the main floor of the academy they all called home.
The Elevator opened, and C.C. was waiting for them, and she immediately walked over to them, helping Kallen to walk Lelucia out of the Elevator, and towards the student council room. They entered, only for Lelouch to be nearly tackled to the ground by a blur of orange hair as Shirley ran up to Lelucia and threw her arms around the princess, hugging her tight as she sobbed, and she was joined by Milly who threw her arms around them as well, before slowly guiding Lelucia to the couch, quickly taking her mask off so everyone could see her face.
Zero was wearing bandages to hide thier gender as a female, so they where caught off guard by their very feminine facial features... their eyes where that same mesmerizing shade of violet, their hair still black as midnight, but the hair was much longer, after the mask came off it freely flowed and cascaded over her shoulders, having a similar messy-casual style to her original counterpart, her features where softer.
"Lulu..." Shirley cried, before frantically opening up her Zero suit to look at her chest... seeing the brutal mark of a blade now etched into Lelucia's chest, she gently placed her hand right above Lelucia's heart-
She flinched, sucking in air as ghost pains struck her, and the shimmering flourish of a sword dominated her mind before she shook her head, snapping herself out of it.
"Shirley I-"
"You selfish jerk! Why!? Why did you do it!? The Zero Requiem!" She demanded, angry, sad, hurt, a flurry of negative emotions consumed her in that moment as she searched for an answer.
She sat there stiff as a board for a moment, how did she-
"I had to watch, we all had to watch you die! You- you asshole I-"
Lelucia gently wrapped her arms around Shirley, making her stop, her lips continued to quiver as her tears fell freely
"I'm so sorry... Shirley... for everything..." She whispered, her voice soft and regal, it was all she could say.
"Why did you do it?" Shirley asked again, firmly.
"To break the cycle of ha-"
"Cut the crap Lelouch- er, Lelucia." Milly interrupted her. "Give us the real reason, not the excuse you came up with to justify it." He looked at her to see the blonde girl was just as upset with her, arms crossed beneath her chest as she looked genuinely hurt.
She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, mulling over what her answer should be, before finally answering, landing on the truth.
"Because I hate myself..." She admitted, eyes downcast, she dared not look the others in the eye, not now. "I destroyed the world and created it anew... but... in the process, everyone I came to love and cherish was hurt... or killed because of the actions I took. I stuck to my guns, did what I had to do... but there was so much needless bloodshed caused by my own shortsighted arrogance. So many lives lost because I made so many mistakes... I blamed myself, I still blame myself... for Shirley and her Father... for Euphie... for everyone I loved that I caused suffering to." She paused. "The only ones who should kill are those who are prepared to be killed... and I killed far too many, my hands forever stained by the blood of the innocent, my soul tainted with their suffering... I don't deserve to live."
There was a loud slapping sound as C.C. who remained silent til this point, struck her, and everyone looked up to stare at her in shock.
"You don't deserve to make that choice. Death is the coward's way out, you're no coward. You're an arrogant, smug punk that destroyed Britannia, you accomplished so much and the survivors who inherited the world you created would have had beautiful, peaceful lives if you didn't muck it up."
"The plan-"
"Backfired spectacularly." C.C. interrupted, snippy and irritated. "Nunnally was murdered."
Lelucia's very being seemed to radiate horror and anger in equal measure, she recoiled as if struck again. "H- how-"
"How? How do you think? Schneizel broke your geass, and big brother wasn't there to protect her. Your plan was flawed and painfully shortsighted. Humanity as a whole cannot be allowed to govern itself, ordinary people are complacent sheep who do as they are told and the moment the old prime minister gained full control of his actions he destroyed everything you built in less than a quarter of the time it took for you to create it." She went on an uncharacteristic tirade as her usual aloof attitude snapped.
She then continued. "You didn't take human nature into account Lelouch, something that is infinitely predictable only in its unpredictability. Utopia cannot be obtained by simply killing one man no matter how much hate they draw. And what about the people you left behind!? What about Cornelia? The moment she found out the SAZ was an accident she nearly died of a heart attack over what she did fighting against you, what about the Black Knights like that idiot Tamaki who saw you as their hero? What about Tohdoh who damn near committed seppuku to try and restore his honor after betraying you? What about Nunnally, your sister who only wanted to live happily with you only to die after watching life fade from your eyes? What about Kallen your Queen? What about Milly your childhood best friend? What about Shirley who died loving you and wanting you to live and succeed!? What about your witch huh!? What about me!?"
Lelucia, and everyone else in the room for that matter, flinched at that final question, before C.C.'s stone-faced, apathetic demeanor suddenly returned and the only evidence of her true feelings remained a single tear that dripped out of her right eye and down her cheek.
Lelucia then smiled softly, reaching a hand out for C.C. to take. She did so immediately, and plopped down onto the couch, followed by Kallen and Milly alongside Shirley, who all practically dog-piled and smothered the princess in hugs, practically cuddling with her, and making her blush furiously in embarrassment.
This... was going to take some getting used to...
