Author's note: I'm not feeling well, so that's why I ended up cutting this story into two. This is just a silly idea that popped up in my head; let me know if you're interested in the second part!
Warnings: Ino's pov; canon divergent; Uchiha clan alive; Minato and Kushina alive; established slash; humour; references to MPreg
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.
I hope you'll like it!
Part 1
"You better have a good reason for this meeting," Neji warned, scowling as he joined them at the table.
"What if I just wanted to see my friends?" Ino asked innocently.
"Then I really question why I'm even here," he replied; sarcasm already dripping from his voice. That had to be some kind of record; it usually took a bit longer before his mean sarcastic streak came out.
"Ignoring the rude arsehole," Kiba interjected, serenely ignoring Neji's glower and twitching eye, "is there a specific reason why you called us here?"
Ino grew solemn instantly, letting her gaze travel from one friend to the other. Kiba was sitting in the corner, letting his giant dog Akamaru rest his ginormous head on his lap. Next to him was Shikamaru, who was sitting slumped in his chair, looking close to falling asleep, which was his usual expression when not in battle. Tenten sat next to him, looking utterly bemused and with her brown hair down for once. Across from her Neji was seated, his mouth pursed. Ino sat next to him and Shino was on her other side, still keeping his hood and glasses on.
Chouji would have joined them, but his father had pulled him aside for extra training. Rock Lee was currently doing two hundred laps around the village, so he was unable to join their meeting as well. Sakura could have been present, but Ino had decided that given the subject of their meeting, it was best for now to keep the pink haired kunoichi oblivious. Mainly because Ino didn't want to deal with any possible temper tantrums Sakura might throw if Ino's suspicions were proven correct.
"I did call you here for a very important reason," she started.
Tenten raised an eyebrow. "That sounds serious."
"Because it is," Ino confirmed and leant slightly forwards. "This is about Sasuke-kun and Naruto. Haven't you noticed something off about them? More specifically about Naruto?"
"What would be wrong with him?" Kiba asked perplexed. "He looked fine to me the last time I saw him, which was a couple of days ago."
"He didn't appear to act off to me either," Neji remarked. "Are you sure you're not seeing things?"
"Would I waste your time if I wasn't sure?" Ino shot back unimpressed. "So you really haven't noticed anything strange?"
"What's the strange thing we should have noticed?" Shikamaru asked with a sigh.
She leant forwards even closer, lowering her voice so that nobody outside their circle would hear her. "I am talking about the way those two have started to behave."
"What do you mean?" Tenten questioned confused.
"Yeah, they still look disgustingly sappy to me," Kiba said, shrugging.
"They only look disgustingly sappy to you because you're single, Kiba," Shino said calmly, which earnt him an offended "HEY!" and various amused smirks.
"You want to know what I'm thinking?" Ino rapped her fingers against the table.
"Please enlighten us," Neji drawled.
"I think Naruto is expecting."
A short bout of silence fell across the group before Kiba demanded, "Expecting what?"
Ino couldn't help but throw him a derisive look. "What do you think?"
"A baby?" Neji said sceptically, putting the pieces of the puzzle together like the genius he was.
His comment had Kiba choking on air, Tenten nearly spitting out her drink, Shino tensing up in surprise and even Shikamaru looking more awake than before.
"Yes, a baby, what else?" Ino said primly.
"Naruto's got a dick," Kiba said blankly, still looking a rather worrisome red in the face.
"Yes, and he has also access to a vast amount of chakra reserves and a whole vault of secret jutsu courtesy of the Uchiha, what's your point?" she asked impatiently. "Also, have you forgotten he's the literal creator of the Sexy-no-Jutsu? Tsunade-sensei herself confirmed that that jutsu is very thorough!"
"Let's just pretend for a moment that such a ridiculous notion could be possible," Neji said aggrieved. "What are you basing your assumptions on?"
"I would have thought that a smart guy like you would have picked up on the clues," she sniffed, which had him narrowing his eyes at her.
"Ino, why do you think Naruto managed to accomplish something like that?" Shikamaru questioned, resting his head on his balled fist.
"Because unlike you, I actually use all my senses," she answered sarcastically. "The Hokage hasn't sent him on any dangerous missions for a while so far, haven't you noticed?"
"He could just be sick," Shino suggested thoughtfully. "The Hokage might want to play it safe."
"I've seen him and Sasuke-kun standing in front of the baby shop," she continued. "You know, the one that opened around a month ago? The very expensive one? They went in and were looking through the items."
"That could just be a present for someone," Tenten argued.
"For whom?" Ino asked unimpressed. "As far as I know, nobody in their family is pregnant, so why would they need to go into a baby store of all things?"
"The Uchiha family is large, though," Kiba commented. "It could easily be the case that one of them is pregnant, but they just aren't showing yet."
"All right, then how do you explain that I saw Itachi-san carrying Naruto's bags a few days ago?" Ino demanded. "You know how independent and stubborn Naruto is, you really think he would let Itachi carry his bags if there was no good reason for it?"
"It could have been a bet Itachi-san lost," Neji said contemplatively.
"Since when does Itachi-san lose bets?" Ino snorted and shook her head. "That guy never loses; must be his Uchiha genes or something. Fine, then how do you explain that I caught Naruto rubbing his stomach and Sasuke-kun doing the same? Multiple times even," she stressed.
"He could be sick," Tenten said hesitatingly and bit down on her lower lip. "Now that I think about it, I did catch him throwing up after eating ramen. Must have been on Monday or so? I saw him and Sasuke in Ichiraku's, eating, but Naruto suddenly ran out of there and threw up in the alley next to it."
"See!" Ino said triumphantly. "Since when does Naruto get sick enough to actually throw up? Especially from ramen! That guy can down ten bowls of that stuff and still not even feel queasy at all, but now he suddenly had to throw up?"
"That's all just a lot of assumptions, Ino," Shikamaru said, crossing his arms. "Nothing actually concrete. I'm sure there can be an explanation found for all of them."
"Yeah? Then how do you explain that I overheard Kushina-san telling Naruto to be careful because of his new 'state'?" Ino fired off her last argument. "Why would she say something like that if he's just ill?"
"When did you hear her say that?" Shino asked bemused.
"Just yesterday actually," she replied, resting her elbows on the table. "Overheard them talking when in the Hokage Tower when I was on my way to drop off some paperwork. It's what made me connect all the dots, because you don't talk about an illness as a 'state' unless that illness ends up being another addition to the family."
This time they all looked more doubtful and nobody came up with a possible counter argument. It would be hard to argue against this point, Ino thought, because it was the best evidence that something was amiss, especially when coupled with the other happenstances. Naruto throwing up after eating ramen? Could be just once, but that combined with him and Sasuke visiting a baby store, him being told to be careful, him actually allowing someone else to help him out with his bags on top of no longer being sent on dangerous missions anymore?
There were just too many coincidences to keep ignoring it! Once was an incident, twice a coincidence, but three times? Three times was practically a rule!
"Okay, so let's assume you're right," Shikamaru said slowly, "and Naruto did indeed manage to accomplish a new feat – what does that have to do with us?"
"I guess this explains why you didn't invite Sakura, though," Kiba muttered; realisation flashing across his face.
They all collectively grimaced. It was no secret that Sasuke and Naruto were dating each other. They had been doing so for the past two years, as a matter of fact, but Sakura still harboured a big crush on Sasuke and had yet to accept the fact that her chances were completely non-existent. Ino hoped she would reach that acceptance stage soon, because it was becoming beyond embarrassing to see her friend still carry so much hope and even at times actually attempt to flirt with Sasuke.
Sakura should call herself lucky that Naruto wasn't the jealous type, because Ino didn't want to imagine what a jealous, enraged Bijuu vessel could do when pushed to the limit – especially when said vessel had achieved complete alignment with the Bijuu in question.
"I prefer keeping her out of this until we've got full confirmation," Ino admitted and rubbed her cheek. "Frankly, I'm just not in the mood to deal with her when she gets pissed off."
"Who is ever in the mood to deal with her when she's like that?" Neji muttered.
"As for what this has to do with us," Ino picked up the conversation again, "as Naruto's and Sasuke-kun's friends - "
"Why are you counting me as Uchiha's friend?" Neji asked incredulously.
"I think we should let them know that there is no need to hide such fantastic news from us," Ino went on, ignoring the interruption. "I bet a kid with both their genes is going to look so damn adorable and I for one claim the title of godmother, just so we're all clear about that."
"We don't even know yet whether there is actually a baby," Tenten sighed before she smiled slightly and added, "And even if there is one, I fear you'll have to fight Kushina-san for that title."
"I can take her on," Ino said, frowning.
Kushina was a formidable kunoichi, even without the Kyuubi sealed inside of her, but would she be able to win if Ino had the element of surprise on her side? She didn't think so!
"No, you can't," Shino snorted, which was just rude, so Ino flipped him off.
"And how do you propose we let them know they shouldn't hide when they don't tell us anything?" Neji asked flatly. "I'm still not buying that this is actually real. You know what they say about assuming."
Gods, but he could be so irritating, really.
"Okay, fine, if you don't believe me, then why don't we observe them for a while and you can see for yourselves that something is definitely not right here," Ino suggested. "Shouldn't be that hard with how off they have been acting lately."
"I think I'm going to regret this," Shikamaru sighed. "This is so troublesome."
Ino snorted and rolled her eyes. Shikamaru was a brilliant team member and a master strategist, but he really could work on his enthusiasm some more.
"So," Ino clapped her hands together and looked at each of them with a brilliant smile, "Ready for a little surveillance mission of our own?"
"I will blame you if things go south," Neji said, which was as good as an agreement coming from him.
Ino looked questioningly at the others.
"I'm joining, just because I do think it's weird that Naruto threw up," Tenten agreed with a dubious look on her face. That was fine, Ino could work with that.
"I don't have anything better to do," was Shino's laconic reply.
"Still think your imagination is running a bit wild, but fine, count me in," Kiba said and shrugged, scratching Akamaru's head, making the dog woof gently before he basically turned into a puddle and slumped onto the floor.
"I'm here, might as well," Shikamaru sighed. "I do think there is an explanation for everything, however."
"Yes, and that explanation is a cute future Uchiha-Uzumaki baby," Ino declared and grinned.
Let the surveillance commence!
AN2: So yeah, nothing too serious, but I'm having fun writing this particular plot. So what do you think is going on here? Also, interesting enough to have the second part? Let me know!
More updates will follow this weekend, promise. Just not feeling too well right now, so I'm off to bed.
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
I hope to see you all back in the next chapter! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves!
Cuddles
Melissa
P.S. For more information about my upcoming and posted stories, please visit my profile.
