She sighed, smiling to herself as she ran her brush through her hair, tidying herself in the mirror of her dressing table as she awaited the arrival of her husband to escort her to dinner. He should have been arriving any moment, she decided, judging by the chiming of the clock in the hallway. She looked into her own eyes through her reflection, wondering when exactly she had begun looking so much older than the simple girl she often felt she was on the inside. Her makeup was pristine, something she was actually quite proud of learning how to do, and her hair had grown out just enough that she could curl it a bit on the ends. She truly felt like a woman for the first time in her life, and she smiled to herself at the thought. Things had most certainly changed.
After a moment, she looked down to the diamond ring upon her hand, shining in the sunlight that warmed her through the window. The ring was really way too much for her, too big and much too expensive for her own taste, but she could admit that it was quite beautiful. It certainly did its job of showing the entire world that she belonged to her husband and no one else, which she supposed was the whole point of it from his perspective anyway. She smiled, fondly remembering the day that he put the ring upon her finger for the first time. It was mere months ago really, so the memory was quite fresh in her mind, and she still couldn't believe everything that had happened since. How was this so suddenly her life?
Her husband entered the bedroom, giving her a quick smile as he walked to the bathroom to relieve himself before they went downstairs to begin greeting their guests. Never in her life had she imagined she would be hosting a party, let alone married to a man who was important enough for people to travel for miles to be in his presence. He certainly was quite important to the social scene, it took her no time at all to understand that, and she was amazed at his ability to completely change himself in front of others. He could light up a room with his charm and take everyone over with his conversation. And she was pleased to know that she was the only one who knew the real him. She was the one who got to see behind the mask.
"Are you ready, darling?" She smiled, standing from her dressing table to show off her new dress.
"Yes. What do you think?" He stood facing her, looking her over a bit before taking her hand and spinning her so he could see the open back of her dress.
"Well, I think I may have to keep my hands on you all evening to mark my territory." She laughed, smiling brightly as he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "You look beautiful, Maria."
"I'm glad to hear you say that. I'm quite nervous to be hosting for the first time." He looped her arm around his as he led her to the door, and she sighed to relieve any remaining tension.
"You're a natural. There's nothing at all to worry about. Besides, you'll remain by my side the entire evening anyway. We are still technically newlyweds, right?" She laughed, nodding happily.
Yes, they were still newlyweds, having only been married nearly two months. Their courtship was fast, their engagement even faster, and sometimes she found herself unable to remember exactly how it had all began. While she had never intended to marry, never even dreamed it was possible for her, there she suddenly was with a husband and a home of her own to run. She was a Baroness, even though she had no idea what that truly meant, but others certainly found it to be an important title. She had everything she could have ever imagined wanting, or not wanting, for that matter. She just knew she would never get used to people fawning over her or treating her like some sort of royalty. She smiled at her own thoughts; if they only knew how far away that was from reality.
xxxxx
Georg sighed as he closed his desk drawer, running a hand over his face as the flames in the fireplace crackled across the room. He had buried himself in his work as of late, doing everything he could to distract himself from the reality of his life. While he still made it a point to spend as much time as he could with the children, he found himself feeling quite hollow most of the time.
It was all because of her, he knew. There was no denying it, even if he tried. She had come into his life like a whirlwind, taken his heart and the hearts of his children, and in a flash she was gone. He had scared her away, it was clear, and nothing he had tried was enough to bring her back. The children visited her at the abbey, and even he had attempted to visit, though he was immediately turned away by a crass, old nun with a bad attitude. There was nothing she would allow him to do to make amends, it seemed. So, knowing his duty to the life he had built, he finally proposed marriage to Elsa.
Part of him hoped Maria would hear the news and return to him to claim the heart that belonged to her, but he soon found that she had moved on as well. He couldn't get the true story anywhere, but it seemed the man she courted, and later married, was perhaps arranged to her, so to speak. While both parties were in agreement, it sounded a bit like the Reverend Mother had helped her find a suitable husband when it turned out she was not suited to become a nun. That information he had found out from Elsa, of course. She made it a point to keep her eye on the only woman she would ever view as a threat to her.
Maria still wouldn't take his calls, wouldn't even answer his letters, and he couldn't figure out why for the life of him. She thankfully did speak to the children quite often, even went so far as to invite them all to her wedding, and they relished in every moment they got to spend maintaining their connection with her. While he would never admit it to anyone else, he had also gone to her wedding, though his intention was to stop it all and profess his own love to her, like the complete fool she had turned him into. The Reverend Mother stopped him at the door, begged him to let her move on and live her life, and as the wedding bells rang out, he found he was too late to make the difference anyway. He knew he needed to let her go in that moment.
And then Elsa left him…of course she did, there was no way she didn't know where his heart really resided. She was no fool, after all. Though, while she left him and seemed to be thriving ever since, he found himself quite stuck in the past. No matter what he tried, he couldn't move on from his feelings. Maria had left him yearning for her, in love with no outlet or chance of having his love returned. What was worse, she had rushed into a marriage with another man, solidifying the fact that she was over him. How could she have married someone else if she wasn't over him, of course. Or perhaps she had never really felt affection for him in the first place.
"Father, did you see this?" Liesl excitedly opened his door and popped her head through the crack, smiling brightly to bring whatever cheer she could to him.
"It's late, Liesl. Why aren't you asleep?" She entered the room, handing him a letter that was undoubtedly written by Maria…his Maria, her messy handwriting proving that the excitement she felt at writing the letter had overtaken her willingness to make it legible, he mused.
"Fraulein Maria is coming to Salzburg next week. Her husband has business in town, and she's coming with him." The girl was clearly excited, heart racing and eyes wide with joy. They hadn't seen her since her wedding, and he knew all of his children would be out of their minds with excitement to meet up with her.
"She is a Baroness now. Don't you think she will be offended if you call her Fraulein still?"
"Not at all! She will be my Fraulein forever." He laughed, and she gave him a smile in understanding. Yes, it seemed they were all having difficulty moving on, in their own ways.
"And look, she's even let you know where she'll be staying so you can visit." He nearly shuddered, knowing for a fact what he was going to do before he even consciously made the plan to do it. He needed to go there and talk to her.
"Can we invite her for supper one evening? Or…many evenings?" He chuckled, knowing that once they got her in their grasp, the children would likely never let her leave again.
"Of course, she's always welcome here." Liesl smiled and gave him a quick hug before making her way back toward the door and ultimately to bed for the evening.
"Thank you, Father. I know things have been strange…"
"Don't you worry a bit about me. I promise, I'm quite well." She smiled, clearly believing him, and she rushed off to bed. He sighed, looking once more to the letter in his hand. While it was written to the children, he somehow couldn't stop from thinking that perhaps she had meant for him to see it too.
xxxxx
The party went splendidly. Nothing mind blowing or necessarily important occurred, but the guests seemed to have a wonderful time. She could not have been more thankful for that fact. The social scene in Vienna was far more pristine and particular than Salzburg, she found out quickly. Everyone was much more strait-laced and precise with their fashion, the way they carried themselves, even the way they all spoke to one another. Thankfully though, she found that all she really had to do was look the part, smile and nod, and allow her husband to do all the talking, and she succeeded perfectly in any social setting. It all felt a bit foolish, she had to admit, but it wasn't all the time that they were forced into the limelight, she supposed.
He touched the bare skin of her back many times that evening, and she knew by the way he couldn't keep his hands off her that she did in fact look the part of Baroness. She found he was quite affectionate when she made him proud, when she rose to the occasion appropriately in his eyes. Pleasing him did bring her joy, she found. His fingertips were warm, trailing gently down her spine and causing her to shiver many times before the night was through. While her feet ached from her heels, and her eyes were tired from the late night, she supposed she could have said in that moment that she was quite content with her own performance. She was mostly glad for the fact that the event was over.
"My goodness, really?" She laughed as her husband wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, pressing drunken kisses to the side of her neck. She had just taken off her jewelry when he surprised her, the alcohol on his breath enough to nearly knock her sideways. While she tended to stay away from alcohol, only indulging in the occasional glass of wine or champagne, he enjoyed taking liberties with anything he could get his hands on. It alarmed her at first, but it really only made him incredibly affectionate, so she knew she shouldn't be too upset by it. It really wasn't often that he did it anyway.
"You are so gorgeous. I need you." His words were pressed against the skin of her neck, and she closed her eyes as she willed herself to find the energy to be the wife he wanted her to be.
"Aren't you exhausted?"
"Yes, but never too much to make love to my wife." He ran his hands over her stomach, pressing his palms over her breasts as he explored her body. She sighed, feeling she hadn't much of an option when he was like that. She reached behind her, running a hand over the bulge in the front of his pants, and he groaned against her. "There's my girl."
"Ugh, please don't say that…" He interrupted her by pulling her face to his for a deep kiss, his tongue pressing between her lips, and she quickly attempted to turn her body to meet his movements. His hands pushed her dress off her shoulders, sending the heavy fabric sailing to the ground as quickly as he could. He kissed over her neck again, his hands caressing her skin as she did her best to remain upright from the jostling of her body.
"You are pure perfection. I don't know how you are so gorgeous." He always said that, never hesitating to remind her how beautiful he felt she was, and it made her heart feel warm. She had never been called beautiful before she met him, and it was so wonderful to be called such a thing. She really believed he felt that way, and his constant words of affirmation made her glow.
She unbuckled his pants as they moved toward the bed, his hands caressing her bare skin. She tried to remove his jacket, undress him to touch his skin as well, but he seemed to be in a hurry. She tried to ignore that he always seemed to be in a bit of a hurry and simply allowed him to lead. He turned her around and bent her over the bed, pushing down her panties without even bothering to remove them or even her stockings. He pressed his body to her backside, reaching around to rub between her legs for a moment. His hand was a bit cold, and she shivered from the temperature of his touch.
"Darling, could we slow down?" He dipped a finger into her center, willing her body to be ready for him. His lips pressed to shoulder, his chest heavy against her.
"I need to be inside of you." She bit her lip, bending forward a bit more, steadying herself upon the bed with her hands, as he pressed into her center. Her body wasn't quite ready, but he eased himself into her so that she became wet enough for him after a couple of thrusts. He grasped her hips in his hands, squeezing as he watched himself disappearing inside of her. "You're so tight…fuck, you feel amazing."
She felt embarrassed when he talked to her like that, though she would never say a thing to him about it. He clearly enjoyed every moment of being with her, and she knew it was her duty as his wife to allow him his pleasure. She recalled a conversation she had with one of their chaperones, his cousin, prior to their marriage. The woman told her that she would eventually figure out how to not feel used when she went to bed with her husband, that eventually she may even look forward to it sometimes in the future. It didn't feel right to her, the advice or the act itself, but she had no idea how else it should have been. She didn't exactly have anyone in her life she could ask to opine on the matter.
She was quite surprised with herself for how calm and confident she had been on their wedding night. She expected to be riddled with nerves, shaking and full of doubt, but she simply allowed her mind to travel to a place of peace, her mountain, and she made it through perfectly fine. He was only a year older than she, and he had been a virgin as well, so it seemed to feel more like a transaction than anything. Neither of them had known what they were doing…and she knew they still had so much to learn, about themselves and about one another.
He groaned and shuddered as he came inside of her, pumping hard enough that the sound of their skin slapping together harshly met her ears. It never seemed to last long at all, for which she was quite thankful. As much as she wanted to please him, she would have much preferred putting on her nightgown and cuddling and talking until they fell asleep. He never seemed to find that sort of thing as appealing as she did. He liked to stay up late and go out quite often. She supposed he found her to be sufficiently boring when it came to her interests, perhaps more mature than he was in many ways. She had intended to be a nun, after all.
He fell upon the bed, sighing happily as he kicked off his shoes and tried his best to remove his pants. She shook her head, pulling up her panties and helping him remove his pants, effectively ending his struggle. She tossed them to the floor, deciding it would serve him right to sleep in his jacket as she made her way to the bathroom to clean up and change for bed. Removing her makeup and brushing out her hair was perhaps the best feeling she had all night, and she smiled into the mirror when her freckles appeared, and she looked like herself again.
She eventually returned to her husband's side, pushing him over a bit so she could cuddle beneath the blankets. She looked at his face, knowing he was the man who would be her partner and take care of her for the rest of their lives. He really did value her presence by his side, as his other half. He was proud to have her on his arm, and he made her feel quite special for it. They got along splendidly on most topics and aspects of their relationship, but her heart simply never felt like it was with him when it came to sharing a marriage bed. He made her feel quite used, if she could risk defining it. He didn't seem to notice, which felt alarming, but she had no idea what she was supposed to do otherwise.
"You make me feel like a whore when you do that, you know." The sound of his snoring reverberated off the walls, and she rolled her eyes. She knew things would get better, they really were already so good after all. Perhaps she only needed to visit her mountain and sort out her head. Only one more week until she would be back in Salzburg, where everything she loved was waiting for her…a fact that delighted and frightened her all at the same time.
