HEY GUYS THIS STORY IS DEDICATED TO ALL THE BRAVE DOCTORS, NURSES AND FRONTLINE WORKERS WHO HELPED US DURING THE PANDEMIC AND HAVE EVEN GIVEN THEIR LIVES. THANK YOU.
Chapter 1: 28 Days Later
MARCH 10, 2020
SCENE: THIRD FLOOR
(After getting Andrew in bed in the on-call room, Amber heads to the station where she leans forward, runs her fingers over her dark hair and closes her eyes taking a deep breath as she tries to ease her worries)
TRANSITION TO THE PRESENT
APRIL 8, 2020
SCENE: COVID ICU WARD
(Amber leans forward on the station with her blonde hair tucked in a bun trying to breathe inside her PAPR which she finds difficult but she stands straight and grabs a tablet. She calls Trent Mitchell who answers back immediately)
Trent: Dr. Karev, I just packed a bag and pumped the gas I should-
Amber: (Tries to keep voice steady) Trent the plans have changed I am so sorry but…you're not gonna make it here in time to say goodbye to your father.
Trent: What? But you said that we would have a few days, you said-
Amber: I know what I said Trent but this virus is unpredictable. Basically, his lungs have filled with more fluid and we're seeing a little bronchitis. His oxygen levels are at 60% so…if you want to say your goodbyes you have to do it through a video conference. I've already emailed you my link you can send it to the others and they can join. I am so sorry.
Trent: (Sniffles) How long?
Amber: Um a few hours but you need to hurry and tell the rest of your family before…just-just hurry and Zoom me when you can and I'll put you in the room with him.
Trent: (Voice breaking) I'll uh I'll get my brothers and sister and our kids and I'll call you back.
Amber: Of course, and I'll leave the room to give you privacy once you do.
(Trent hangs up. Amber inhales and exhales deeply before taking the tablet and heading inside Steve Mitchell's room. She closes the door behind her and approaches the 76-year-old black man lying in bed with an oxygen mask on)
Amber: Steve, this is Dr. Karev, can you hear me?
Steve: (Lightly groans but still asleep)
Amber: Okay well I want you to know I've contacted your son already he's getting the rest of your family so they can say goodbye to you. The O2 should keep you up long enough for you to hear them and say goodbye too.
(Amber's tablet dings and she sighs and opens it revealing two adult men, an adult woman and six children)
Amber: Hi I'm Dr. Karev I am your father and grandfathers' doctor; I am very sorry for your loss and I am sorry there wasn't any more I can do.
Keila: (Cries) It's okay Dr. Karev, my daddy talked about you, he says you were always nice and snuck in an extra Jello when he asked. Just…thank you for taking care of him.
Jason: Yeah, our pops always took care of others. When he wasn't a dad or grandad he was always looking after his students. 40 years as an algebra teacher and he still remembers the memos they left him it was endearing and annoying. Is he in pain?
Amber: No, he's not in pain he's just resting. I have to ask again are you sure you don't want him on a ventilator as a last resort?
Trent: No machines, he says if he's dying, he wants to do it without a tube down his throat. (Voice breaking) Um can-can he hear us?
Amber: I believe so. Say whatever you have to say now and it won't be long after.
Jason: We will be here as long as it takes…he can't die alone.
Amber: (Nods) I understand, I'll give you some privacy and come back when he's gone.
(Amber puts the tablet on the dining table positioning it so that they can be face to face with Steve)
Amber: (Swallows) Again I am so sorry.
(Amber leaves the room and goes to the station where she sanitizes her hands)
Amber: (Exhales) Let me know when his sats have dropped completely and I can get the tablet and talk to the family after about body transportation.
Nurse: Of course, doctor.
(Amber grabs a tablet and charts her latest patients)
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF THE WARD
(Andrew walks outside in his navy scrubs and PPE after checking on a covid patient of his. He stops when he spots Amber inside the ICU charting, Andrew's worry for her escalates and he walks away from the ward)
CUT TO THIRD FLOOR
(Jo is charting the latest discharges in PPE when Andrew walks up to her keeping six feet distance)
Andrew: Jo, we need to talk, it's about Amber.
Jo: (Sighs) Not here let's go to a lounge, I need a break.
(Jo and Andrew go to a lounge after sanitizing their hands and close the door)
Jo: All right talk for as long as you want because this is better than sending bodies to the morgue or the ice truck outside.
Andrew: This is Amber's second straight week in the covid ward.
Jo: I know and I'm worried about her but we're short staffed and you know that Amber volunteered as soon as the ward was built. She's young and healthy so she's not a big risk for this plus she can take care of herself.
Andrew: Not against this, we don't even fully understand what this is or how it affects people Amber's age. The protocol is one week on and one week off. Do you realize that Amber has only taken one week off in the last month? She's overexposing herself and putting herself at risk.
Jo: Look I don't know what to tell you. Amber got into medicine to help people.
Andrew: Yeah, we all did.
Jo: And that was before we started keeping tally of patients who have died from a pandemic. Amber wants to help as much as she can and she feels she can do that in there.
Andrew: Jo you've been an attending longer than me, you have a duty to protect your residents and not just the ones your related to. How are you okay with this?
Jo: I'm not but I know that Amber isn't reckless not about this. She knows what she's doing and she knows when enough is enough. Why do you care so much? You guys broke up.
Andrew: I still care about Amber same as you maybe more because you're not doing enough to make sure she's safe and healthy.
Jo: (Stern) Andrew watch yourself.
Andrew: (Exhales) …I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted.
Jo: Yeah, we all are.
Andrew: Does Alex have anything to say about this? Does he agree with this?
Jo: He wouldn't if he and I had time to talk. Plus, Amber doesn't exactly tell him everything and he can't do much through a computer screen in Kansas.
Andrew: Right virtual arguments can end with the click of a button.
Jo: Lucky for Amber.
Andrew: She's not lucky and she's not invincible despite us thinking she is. Talk to her and get her to cut back her hours in there, the sooner the better, please.
(Andrew leaves Jo in the room)
MARCH 11, 2020
SCENE: SURGICAL FLOOR
(Amber talks to Carina about Andrew while Bailey fills in the board next to them)
Amber: (Sighs) I took him to the on-call room on three. He didn't even want to come in today but I didn't think he should be alone after what happened.
Carina: (Sarcastic) Right. Because you're so concerned about his wellbeing. This is unbelievable.
Amber: (Offended) What the hell did you just say?
Bailey: What happened with DeLuca now?
Amber: (Sighs) He could barely get up after Richard's surgery. He hasn't gotten sleep lately and-
Carina: No, it's the depression that comes after the mania. You knew this happens but you didn't do anything you just stood by and ignored him while he was working himself to death again.
Amber: (Angry) You know what Carina I have done more than enough for your brother thanks to encouragement by you. Let me remind you how I followed your advice and confronted him after Suzanne and he compared me to my father. Or the time he got frost bite and I came to his hospital room after being convinced by you and he compared me to my mother. Or when I organized an intervention for him and finally got him to agree to go to treatment and was broken up by him not long after. He says that he is taking his meds and I believe him because I have been through this crap longer than you two. So, if you ever say I didn't do enough for Andrew I will take that pen Bailey is holding and shove it in your self-righteous neck. Excuse me.
(Amber pushes past Carina and walks away)
APRIL 8, 2020
SCENE: COVID WARD
(Amber walks down the hall to go to Marvin Lindstrom's room but sighs at the body in a bag being rolled out with Meredith watching as well)
Amber: Marvin?
Meredith: (Grimly nods) He went into cardiac arrest five minutes ago I tried to get him back but it was too late. Is his wife here?
Amber: (Sighs) Last I checked she was headed over here; I'll call Schmitt and find out.
(Amber walks away and pulls out her phone in a bag dialing Levi who answers)
Amber: Levi?
Levi: Yeah, hi.
Amber: Marvin Lindstrom just died.
CUT TO THE TENT OUTSIDE
Levi: (Sighs) No. Please, no.
Amber: I told Grey that his wife was headed over here when we last spoke that was an hour ago. I tried calling but it rolled to voicemail, are you with her?
Levi: She's here. Her flip phone died, and we didn't have a charger. She wanted to say goodbye to him.
Amber: Yeah, I wanted that too but Grey said that he had a heart attack and there was nothing we could do, I only saw him like twenty minutes ago and he was stable.
Levi: (Looks at the wife) They were married 62 years.
Amber: I talked to him a little before it happened, I can't come down though. So, if you can't deliver the news to her, just find someone who can. Okay?
(Amber hangs up and pockets her phone slapping a wall in anger as she walks away)
Andrew: Hey.
(Amber turns to find Andrew six feet behind her)
Andrew: Are you okay?
Amber: (Shakes her head) Not in the least.
Andrew: Bad day?
Amber: (Sighs) Bad month. I hate this.
Andrew: I know we all do.
Amber: No, I mean I hate this, I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate everything right now. I even hate you, hell I even hate my brother a little.
Andrew: Well to be fair you hated him for almost a decade so…
Amber: True.
Andrew: How is he holding up in Kansas?
Amber: Uh he says he's good covid isn't as bad there as it is here but it's still a pandemic so it still sucks. We're surgeons we cut, we fix things but this thing can't be cut away and we can't fix this. We're not doing anything except holding their hands and calling loved ones so they can say goodbye through a screen. Did I mention how much I hate this?
Andrew: Extensively…who died?
Amber: Who hasn't? Marvin Lindstrom just died and his wife is outside waiting to hear that her husband of 60 years died alone in a sterile box. You remember him you treated him.
Andrew: (Sighs) Yeah, the retired chef, he…he talked about his grandkids a lot.
Amber: Yeah, I know he kept bragging about how his granddaughter got into Stanford. Which she's now gonna have to experience through a screen. God why did I have to go to college? Why couldn't I have graduated high school and went to work at an office right after? I thought it was pointless but people said I was destined for greater things. Let me tell you, if I found those people, I would shove them in here with no protective gear on.
Andrew: (Looks at Amber)
Amber: I'm sorry I know that sounded bad it's just…Marvin is number 84. He is the 84th patient that I have lost. I've lost 40 times more patients in the last month than I have in my entire career. God this isn't why I got into medicine.
Andrew: …I know this is a bad time but-
Amber: There's no such thing as bad time or good time anymore so just say what I know your gonna say.
Andrew: How do you know what I'm gonna say to you?
Amber: Because I know you and I know how you worry about the people you care about in spite of the fact that they're not technically your problem anymore. I'm trying to help as much as I can Andrew and it kills me but it's the only thing keeping me going right now.
Andrew: Yeah, until it does kill you. Amber you're seeing firsthand how dangerous this virus is and the longer you work here it increases your chances of exposure. I know you want to help because you feel its your mission but you need to slow down.
Amber: Says the guy who has seen as much covid patients as me. When's the last time you slept?
Andrew: I slept 12 hours last night, as per the therapist's suggestion. If I don't sleep the mania can creep back in, but we're not talking about me here. Amber, you need to pace yourself and make it so your niece and nephew have an aunt to grow up with when this is over.
Amber: (Scoffs) I cannot believe you are using those twin angels to make me feel bad, that is a new low DeLuca.
Andrew: (Shrugs) If it saves your life I can sleep better at night. It's too dangerous for you in here, I know you think your Superwoman but you're not, you're not any less vulnerable to this than the rest of us.
Amber: I'm taking vitamins, tossing out the junk food for fruit and veggies and I've taken up boxing again. I'm 26 and I'm fit as you well know.
Andrew: (Sighs) I knew you weren't gonna be easy to convince, hand me your tablet.
(Amber hands Andrew her tablet and he pulls out chest x rays showing thickening around the heart)
Amber: Damn pericarditis?
Andrew: Yep, the scans are from last week from a patient of mine in the covid ward. Her name is Denise Sanchez she's 29-year-old and she's a running pro. Now she has a tube down her throat due to pericarditis as a result of the virus. She's only a couple years older than you and she might die. Fit won't save you Amber and it won't keep covid away.
Amber: No but I can try and keep it away. I'm staying the rest of the day and I have patients so please excuse me.
Andrew: I can tell you to go home as an attending you know that right?
Amber: True but I know you know I would take it to the chief who would reprimand you for using your seniority status to get someone you care about home against their will.
Andrew: (Looks at her) You wouldn't dare, Karev.
Amber: (Smirks playfully) Try me DeLuca, just try me. I gotta go.
(Amber turns to leave and stops when Andrew asks a question)
Andrew: Were you always this stubborn and bull headed when we were dating?
Amber: Oh yeah you just never noticed it because you were enthralled by my beauty and charm.
(Amber winks and walks way with Andrew chuckling)
MARCH 11, 2020
SCENE: THIRD FLOOR
(Amber and Jo catch up by the station)
Jo: So how goes it with DeLuca?
Amber: Um I don't know I'm still trying to decide, I guess.
(Jo looks at Amber in worry but keeps quiet)
Amber: (Sighs) Just say it.
Jo: Say what?
Amber: What you clearly want to tell me but are too afraid to say because you think I'll react badly.
Jo: …Okay but let me remind you that you insisted. Are you sure that DeLuca has taken his meds?
Amber: Jo-
Jo: Hear me out please. He behaved just like he did when Suzanne was sick, he's bouncing all over the place, he's talking too fast and he's doing things before thinking them through.
Amber: Like what Jo?
Jo: Oh, I don't know how about contaminating the sterile field of Webber's biopsy because he couldn't wait one minute to tell them what he found?
Amber: (Looks up after hearing this) What? What do you mean he contaminated the field?
Jo: I mean he took the tray of instruments and pushed them on the O.R. floor to stall them so they could listen to him. Does that sound like someone who is mentally stable to you?
Amber: (Tries to come up with an excuse) I…He…I don't…I don't know what to do Jo. Please just tell me what to do.
Jo: (Rubs Amber's arm) I think you and I both know what you need to do.
(Amber closes her eyes in despair and leans against the station)
APRIL 8, 2020
SCENE: COVID WARD
(Amber walks out of a patient room when her phone dings. She pulls it out and is pleased to see Alex Facetiming her, she answers and sees Alex on the other side in a hospital in full PPE as well)
Alex: Hey.
Amber: Hey how are you? How are things over there?
Alex: Not great Shawnee isn't Grey Sloan but the rate of patient intake in the ward has increased by 10% this morning. Also, I have lost about three patients so far with their families outside waiting to video chat them. I hate this.
Amber: Join the club we have Zoom meets on weekends because there's nothing to do and nowhere to go. How are my little niece and nephew doing?
Alex: Good they're running Izzie ragged which I don't have to ask makes you happy.
Amber: (Grins) Now your learning, how long have you been in the ward?
Alex: It's my fourth day of the week what about you?
Amber: (Lies) It's my sixth day.
Alex: (Raises eyebrow) I know your lying; I know you've been pulling shifts for the past two weeks and only took one week off.
Amber: (Tries to save face) That's ridiculous.
Alex: My sources are very reliable and they want me to make sure you don't overexpose yourself to this hell we're in.
Amber: Uh-huh, quick question is your source short, brunette, and bubbly or tall, Italian, and nosy?
Alex: Do you really have to ask that?
Amber: I'm going with both okay I haven't seen you in a while so I'll let you stay on because I miss you. I will give you two minutes to lecture me before I hang up, you may attempt to lecture me again after work. These are the rules.
Alex: Oh, so my concern for you as a brother has rules now? What changed?
Amber: Let's see there's you having kids, my ex-boyfriend getting bipolar disorder, Webber getting a cobalt hip, the fires, the pandemic, I think one of those things qualifies as a reason for this rule. Don't you think?
Alex: (Sighs) Five minutes.
Amber: Two.
Alex: Four.
Amber: Two.
Alex: You suck at negotiating, you know that?
Amber: I literally don't have time to negotiate so your two minutes starts now. Go.
Alex: Okay I know you think we're being overprotective but we're just worried about you. Two straight weeks? You're putting yourself at risk you have to know that.
Amber: I do know that but I look around and I don't care. Alex most of these patients are the kind of people that we grew up with. We may have a different skin color but we were raised in poverty and terrible healthcare just like them. I mean you had to hot wire a car to get me to a hospital because an ambulance ride costs thousands of dollars. We had to suffer our whole lives because we didn't have the luxury others had and we got spit on because of it. And now-
Alex: Now they have it worse than us because of this.
Amber: Yeah, the system is still broken during a pandemic and I may not fix it but I can damn well try and make sure another Alex or Amber gets the care they deserve.
Alex: Okay I get that and I find it admirable. But you need to ask yourself who is gonna help them if you get infected? Who's gonna show them compassion when they need it the most if your hooked to a ventilator?
(Amber sighs and looks up at the ceiling)
Alex: Amber, you're thinking in the present but you need to think in the long run because you're not alone in this. Just because I am in a different state doesn't mean there's no one to consider if you continue to do this. Think about Jo, her husband can't be with her because travel is banned and her sister is the only person in her life within walking distance. Or Schmitt he can't lose the only friend he has. Hell, think about DeLuca, if he's willing to call me to lecture you then he's gonna be devastated if you end up like these patients and you know he can't take that right now. Please just think about the future and what your actions will do to the people around you, please.
Amber: (Sighs) …Okay.
Alex: (Shocked) Okay? What do you mean okay?
Amber: I mean okay I'll think about it.
Alex: (Relieved) Thank you.
Amber: But not right now. I still have the rest of the day and I need to go home and take 20 showers to get this damn virus off me. But when I am clean and rested, I will give you an answer, deal?
Alex: Deal. Wow I thought this was gonna be a lot harder.
Amber: So, did I but I guess I've been away from your sage advice so long that I forgot how to ignore it.
Alex: (Chuckles) Well I'm glad, I gotta go bye.
Amber: Bye.
(Amber hangs up and takes a deep breath before going to the next patient)
MARCH 11, 2020
SCENE: DOCTORS LOUNGE
(Amber sits in the couch anxiously waiting when Andrew walks in looking rested)
Andrew: Hey you texted me to meet you here?
Amber: Um yeah, I wanted to talk to you privately. Close the door.
(Andrew closes the door and sits in front of Amber on the coffee table as she sips her water from a plastic cup)
Andrew: Did you want to talk about us? About whether you want to try this again or not?
Amber: No that's not it, I…I know that you're going through something right now and I'm probably overthinking this but I need to ask you something.
Andrew: Okay what do you want to ask?
Amber: Um when I saw you last night out in the hall, you looked exhausted like near death exhausted. I know this because your eyes were as dark as when you were treating Suzanne when I came back from Kansas. I had to carry you to the on-call room because you could barely get up after the surgery and a few hours before you were up and reading up in the library. One minute you were wide awake and the next you were down.
Andrew: Um yeah, I stayed up all night and day trying to find something wrong with Webber and I crashed after the surgery I mean that can happen to a lot of surgeons.
Amber: Absolutely and I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought but then I talked to Jo and she told me what you did before Richard's surgery.
Andrew: (Looks at her worried)
Amber: She told me that you knocked over a tray of instruments compromising the sterile field so that you can get them to listen to you and…my mind immediately went back to when you barged into Suzanne's room and administered high steroids into her without talking to Grey. You just barged into Richard's O.R. like you barged into Suzanne's room and did what you did because you felt like you were right like you had discovered what no one else did. Your actions on both counts are seen as reckless and…I am trying to convince myself by then that your just getting used to your meds and that the situation was troubling at the time. But then I found you leaning back against that station looking…broken and exhausted like you did at the intervention. You looked like you did when you had a mental breakdown, I know this because I can't forget that day no matter how hard I try to.
Andrew: (Internally panics but keeps composed) Amber…what are you trying to ask me?
Amber: I am asking you to be truthful to me Andrew. (Voice breaking) I am asking you to look me in the eye and tell me what is true not because I am asking but because you love me enough to be honest with me. Did you skip your meds because you thought it could help you help Webber?
Andrew: (Sighs and closes his eyes in despair) …The meds saved my life, literally but…something is missing when I'm on them. It's like there's this crazy amount of energy that I get and I hate it but it's when I do my best work. It keeps me going it keeps me working even when I am tired and it keeps me focused on the task at hand.
(Amber's face gets anxious as he continues)
Andrew: This whole thing started because Suzanne was dying from a disease, we had no way of diagnosing within the box. I didn't know what was going on with me then but I helped save Suzanne's life because of it. It helped me think outside the box and she would be in a morgue right now without it. I know it and…when Richard got sick I…I knew that I had to do my best to save him and…I knew the meds would hold me back. I felt like I didn't have choice that Richard deserved more than just doctors who don't read between the lines and consider the impossible. I mean Amber it was Richard of all people I mean…don't you agree that he deserved the best and…he deserved someone to go above and beyond to help him?
Amber: …What are you talking about? Are you telling me that you lied to me that night?
Andrew: (Looks at her in sadness)
Amber: (Voice breaking) Are you telling me that I have been defending you to my sister, my friends for nothing? Are you telling that you have somehow lied to me better than my mother ever could and you let me believe you all this time? Are you telling me that you made me go through this again despite you promising that you wouldn't end up just like our parents?
Andrew: (Looks down in guilt)
Amber: Answer me?!
Andrew: (Guilty) Please don't make me answer that.
(Amber shudders in shock and stands up holding her cup of water)
Amber: (Voice breaking) Oh my god. (Sniffles) Oh my god I'm so stupid, how could I have let this happen to me again.
Andrew: (Stands up and faces her) No, no, no honey this is not your fault, okay? This is all on me.
(Amber gasps as she feels tears in her eyes looking away)
Andrew: Please can we-
(Amber throws her water in his face stopping him. Amber turns and leaves the room quickly slamming the door loudly behind her alerting Jo who is on the phone with Alex. Amber runs away from the room)
Jo: (To Alex) Let me call you back.
(Jo hangs up and runs after Amber. Andrew is seen sitting on the couch looking down at his feet in despair and guilt)
APRIL 8, 2020
SCENE: COVID WARD
(Amber leaves a room after setting up a meeting with her patient and her family. She spots Andrew by the station and goes to confront him)
Amber: You ratted me out to my brother.
Andrew: (Unfazed) I did and I would do it again. Let me remind you that you can't hit me because we have to be six feet apart.
Amber: True but I can still use my words which as you know cut deeper than my fists.
Andrew: Yeah, but I think the last thing you want is to cause a scene while people are dying in a plaque so…
Amber: You have really thought this through. I thought I was the diabolical mastermind here.
Andrew: What can I say? You rubbed off on me…that sounded way dirtier than I thought it would.
Amber: (Chuckles) Oh look you actually made me smile in here for the first time.
Andrew: (Shrugs) Glad to know I'm useful in here somehow. What did your brother say? Did he convince you to cut back hours?
Amber: Um he convinced me to think about it so that's a win for you. I still need to finish the day and go home. I'll let you know my answer after I've had an acid bath and watched Gilmore Girls with Levi.
Andrew: (Looks at her strangely)
Amber: What's that face for?
Andrew: You are the last person I would expect to binge on a chick series like Gilmore Girls. I thought you were still on The Walking Dead.
Amber: I switched, that show was triggering me and it makes me fear this virus will evolve into a zombie apocalypse.
Andrew: Don't jinx it.
Amber: (Chuckles) Anyway my life is enough of a horror show as it is so I'm watching comedy to remember what good times felt like. It's surprisingly great I'm on season 2 and Levi and I are really shipping Luke and Lorelai although we don't like Rory with Dean so much.
Andrew: (Grins) Yeah just wait a while and you'll ship her with someone else trust me.
Amber: (Eyebrows furrow in confusion)
Andrew: My mom loved that show when I was a kid and she got me hooked.
Amber: (Chuckles) I'll take your word for it then and I will let you know if I want to cut back my hours. Hopefully by then you can stop badgering me.
Andrew: You know you call it badgering but I call it looking out for a friend when she needs it.
Amber: (Raises eyebrow) I'm a friend now huh?
Andrew: You saved my life so yes; I think you qualify as a friend and it's only fair I try to save your life too.
Amber: (Touched) Again I will think about it and let you and Jo know is that enough to ease your worries Dr. DeLuca?
Andrew: Yes Dr. Karev.
(Amber grabs her tablet and goes to her next patient)
MARCH 11, 2020
SCENE: ANDREW'S APARTMENT
(Andrew stands outside preparing himself for Amber inside inhaling and exhaling. He finally opens the door)
Andrew: (Calls out) Please try your hardest not to jump out with a knife and kill me.
(Andrew waits for Amber to come but nothing comes after a few moments. He grows curious and closes the door coming inside)
Andrew: Amber? Are you in bed?
(Andrew goes to the bedroom to find it empty and closet and drawers open. He looks and finds both clear of Amber's stuff. He goes to the living room when something on the kitchen table catches his eye)
Andrew: What the…
(Andrew goes to the table to find one pink post it on top of it. He picks it up and reads the text in Amber's handwriting, 'Keep the apartment')
