It was early one morning when Anne woke up and headed for the mailbox. Only to gasp when the Plantars blocked her path with puppy eyes. "Where you going, Anne?" they asked in unison.
"Uuuhh... the mailbox..."
"Sounds exciting!" shouted Sprig. "Can we come? Please? Please?"
"Uuuhh... Yeah. I guess."
The Plantars cheered and raced to put on their disguises. Hop Pop wore his Groucho glasses, fedora, trench coat, and slip-on shoes while Sprig and Polly had new disguises after the trench coat totem pole clearly failed. Sprig wore a maroon jacket over a pale and dark brown striped shirt alongside his usual black shorts, a dark green beanie revealing a bit of his hair, light grey and white shoes with dark blue stripes, and an ivory face-mask, with a cat's mouth imprinted on it. Polly wore a blue bucket hat with baby blue stripes, a raincoat, rain boots, and a blonde wig.
"You know, I used to only get the mail to intercept my report card. Buy these days-" Anne stopped talking and gasped when she realized the Plantars were gone.
Polly was on the other side of the street waving to two kids riding on their bikes. "Hey, smallish humans!" Seeing that the two cool kids don't stop, she dodged them in a jump. She shook her fist at them, shouting, "HEY, WATCH IT, YOU OVERGROWN STINKBUGS!"
The two kids abruptly stopped and glared at her. "What did you call us," one of them asked.
Anne ran up and grabbed Polly before things could get ugly. "Sorry, sorry... She's just a baby."
"Weirdest baby I've ever seen," said the other kid, earning a death glare from Polly.
Meanwhile, Sprig was in a stranger's backyard, spying on a man putting wood in a chipper. When he left, Sprig got a little closer to it. "Ooooh! That looks fun..."
"SPRIG, NO!" Anne grabbed him before he could stick his head in it. She thought she was going to blow a gasket, and thought things couldn't get any worse. She was proven wrong when she saw Hop Pop across the street, talking to a shifty-looking man in a suit with a briefcase.
"A free vacation? Just for listening to your talk? Well, sign me up." Before Hop Pop could sign anything, Anne grabbed him and took him and the two Plantar kids back to her house.
Inside the Boonchuy residence, Johan was in the now darkened kitchen, eating some oatmeal with raisins. Mrs. Boonchuy was perplexed. "This is your third bowl and you're still hungry?"
"I have I high metabolism," said Johan. He didn't want her to know that as a vampire, normal food did not make him feel full no matter how big the meal was.
At that moment, Anne came into the kitchen, took out a soda from the fridge and guzzled it down. She really needed a frogging drink. "Something wrong, kid," asked her father.
"Where do I start? Polly nearly got in a fight, Hop Pop was seconds away from getting scammed and Sprig almost got turned into wood chips."
"This is the part where Mrs. Boonchuy says 'Wait, Sprig is made out of wood?'"
"Wait, Sprig is made out of wood?" Mrs. Boonchuy's eyes widened. "JoJo, how did you-"
"I'm exhausted just trying to keep them all alive," Anne said with a groan.
"Now you know how Hop Pop felt when dealing with you, Sprig and Polly's antics," said Johan as he finished his oatmeal. "It's times like this that I'm glad I'm a single child."
Mrs. Boonchuy chuckled. "Sounds like being a parent."
"The trick is to ease them into the world. Slow and steady like how I'm easing this egg into-" He tried to crack the egg, only to drop it and half its shell into the pan. "Dang it!"
"Just be patient," said Mrs. Boonchuy. "This is all new for them."
"You're right. Slow and steady."
"You might need the patience of a saint," said Johan after he finished his fourth bowl. "Sprig's got the attention span of a squirrel. And I'll bet you five bucks that Hop Pop and Polly are getting into trouble as we speak."
He and Anne stared and then ran into the living room. Well, Johan won the bet it seemed as they saw Sprig about to stick his tongue on the rotating ceiling fan, Polly at the window trying to pick a fight with the kids from before, and Hop Pop on the phone with another scammer.
A bit of sunlight touched Johan's left hand and it disintegrated immediately. He quickly backed away, and Anne let out a scream of anger and wanted to rush in to stop them, but he blocked her with his hand. "JoJo, what are you-"
Johan called out, "Plantars! Look in my eyes!" They did so, and Johan's eyes turned from honey brown to red. "Stop what you're doing!" The Plantars' eyes turned red as well and they stopped what they were doing, allowing Anne to quickly grab Sprig off the ceiling, close the window blinds, and hang up the phone. Then she realized, "Wait, did you just hypnotize them?"
"Another vampiric ability," said Johan. "Think we can keep them this way?" A fly landed on Sprig's unblinking eye and crawled onto the other. "That way they won't get into any trouble."
Anne was about to agree, but then she remembered what happened when Hop Pop did the same thing to her, Sprig, and Polly with the zombie mushrooms. "No. I don't want to use mind control all the time. Maybe as a last resort. But for now, undo it."
"Fine. Plantars, you are free." Johan snapped his fingers and the Plantars looked around, confused.
"What just happened," asked Polly.
"JoJo used his vampiric hypnosis on you guys," explained Anne.
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Hop Pop. "Was that to get back at me for turning you guys into zombies?!"
"How dare you try to control me," shouted Polly. "Nobody controls me!"
"Can you blame him," Anne retorted angrily. "Polly, you nearly killed him when you left the window open! Did you forget he's a vampire? That means no sunlight and no Ripple!"
Polly saw the steaming stump that was once Johan's hand and she looked away in shame. "Oh, yeah."
"Can't you just grow it back," asked Sprig. "I've seen you do it."
"Yes, but when the injury is caused by the sun, it'll take longer for it to regenerate," said Johan. "Not unless I drink some blood."
Polly sighed and held out her arm. "I caused this accident. It only seems fair if you take my blood."
Johan backed away. "Uh-uh. I don't want to drink the blood of friends and family. I'll just let it grow back on its own."
"You know what? This just proves it," said Anne sternly. "Slow and steady ain't gonna cut it. You three will be dead in two days!"
"Make that eleven minutes," said Johan.
"Is that a challenge," snapped Polly.
"You Ok, Anne, JoJo," asked Sprig.
Hop Pop held up some papers. "Here. Take this free stress test I got from that guy."
Anne slapped it out of his hands and said, "No. The responsible thing to do is to train you all at once at the most chaotic and dangerous place I know."
"School?" asked Johan.
"Worse. Bring your umbrella."
Willowbrooke Mall
"A mall?" asked Johan, umbrella in hand. "How are a bunch of stores and food stands going to teach them how to survive?"
"Hey, you may have had to learn the dangers of the world from an early age from your mafia parents, but I learned from experience in places like this. And it's where you're..." Anne pointed at the Plantars. "...gonna learn the lessons you need to survive in my world."
Hop Pop scoffed. "'Survive'? Your world is soft, Anne."
"Yeah... I mean, the animals don't even try to disembowel you," said Sprig.
"But we do have Stand users," said Johan. "You guys won't even see them coming without me."
Polly scoffed. "Oh, please, we can handle-" She didn't get to finish her sentence as she, along with her brother and grandfather walked away...and tripped down an escalator. Anne and Johan walked it down with ease. The Plantars realized they right and Hop Pop asked humbly, "Proceed."
Anne took out her phone and said, "JoJo and I have come up with a specific task for each fo you. First up, Polly. You need to control your temper. It's drawing too much attention and we're trying to keep a low profile."
"I say what I want when I want!"
"Maybe in Wartwood, but not here. Your mission is to go into that store a build a custom plushy without fighting anyone." Anne pointed to the Build-a-Bear Workshop store where some kids were playing and making their own toys.
Polly scoffed. "Ha... Child's play."
"Sprig, you can't touch everything or you're gonna lose a limb," said Johan.
"But there's so many new surfaces and textures," Sprig whined.
"Sprig, I know you have the attention span of a squirrel, but this is for your own sake! What if the next button you press ends up blowing us all to kingdom come? That's why you're to go to the Gallery of Art Installations without touching anything. That means keep your hands to yourself at all times!"
"Heh... looks simple enough."
Johan continued, "And then there's you, Hopediah. You've got no street smarts."
"Hey, you take that back," snapped the old frog.
"No, he's right," said Anne. "You need to stop talking free stuff. In my world, everything has a price."
"Then why did they call it 'free', Anne? Mmm? Because they think I'm gullible and easily scammed?"
"Yep."
Hop Pop, hearing this, admitted, "Oh. Well, that's actually pretty clever."
"Your mission is to make it through Kiosk Alley without falling for any free scams." Anne pointed to the Hall of Scammers, where a bunch of seedy-looking people had already set up shop.
Anne and I'll be watching all of you for up here," Johan pointed to the second floor balcony. "You got 20 minutes to complete your missions."
"And if one of us screws up?" asked Sprig.
Johan narrowed his eyes at him, Polly, and Hop Pop. "Then you can't be trusted to leave the house and I'll use my vampiric hypnosis on all of you to make you stay, only this time, it will be PERMANENT!"
The Plantars gasped in outrage.
"NO WAY!" shouted Sprig.
"Since when do you set the stakes?" asked Hop Pop.
"Scatter!" shouted Polly, and the Plantars split up only to bump into each other.
"Oh, boy," said Anne.
"You ever get the feeling that we made a mistake, Anne," asked Johan.
"All the time." Anne noticed how tired Johan seemed. "Are you okay?"
"Not really," said Johan as he yawned. "I'm supposed to be asleep this time of day, but trying to keep the Plantars from killing themselves is affecting my sleep schedule."
"I'm sorry to hear that. How's your hand?"
Johan looked down at the stump, which he hid with a glove. "Still slowly regenerating. I can actually feel the nerves starting to grow. It's pretty painful, but I'm trying my best to hide it."
Anne got an idea. "You wanna go down to the co-op, get some bloody meat? Maybe that will make it heal faster."
"There's a co-op here?"
"They got EVERYTHING here!"
Polly entered the Build-a-Bear Workshop and took the random parts she needed to build her toy. "Don't know why Anne and JoJo thought this would be difficult." She got her answer when a baby, whose stroller was placed next to the table she was sitting at, took one of the arms for her toy. She wanted to yell, but then she remembered Anne and Johan's warning. So, she tried to be nice and asked gently, "Oh... hello there. I think there's been a misunderstanding. But that's-" The baby blew a raspberry, much to the little pollywog's disgust. "What the...? Hey, lady! Your chubby spawn is running my work."
The baby's mother glared at her. "Did you call my kid a spawn?"
Polly's eye twitched. Focus, Polly. Don't try to make a scene! She exhaled, calming herself. "Know what? It's fine. I'll just get more- HEY!" Even more babies took her parts and started playing with them, and in one case, jammed them up his nose. Polly was starting to lose her cool. "Must... contain... FURY!"
Sprig hopped around the Gallery of Art Installations, admiring all the exhibits on display, all the way trying to resist the temptation to touch any of them. "Whoooa... Such textures to explore." He saw one particular exhibit that resembled a muppet spewing money and he hopped toward it, only to remember Anne and Johan's threat and he fell flat on his face. "It's fine. Totally fine. I can just look and appreciate from afar."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked around the exhibits, admiring them for their looks. But, this was the equivalent of waving drugs in a junkie's face. It was starting to become too much for Sprig to resist. Then he saw it: an exhibit made up of so many buttons, valves, and levers. "Come on, Sprig, FIGHT IT..." He punched himself in the face.
A couple nearby watching this odd scene from nearby, gave Sprig a strange look. "Must be some kind of performance piece," one of them said.
At the same time, Hop Pop began to cross the Hall of Scammers, where he tried to ignore what the people at their booths were advertising.
"Sir, how would you like a free gift card?"
"You there, do you wanna regrow that hair? I know you do."
Hop Pop was starting to crack. A third scammer stopped him and said, "Hey there, handsome. Wanna start your modeling career with some headshots? Just need your ID. It's 100% no strings attached free." Hop Pop reached into his pocket for his wallet...then slapped himself in the face and ran away.
Meanwhile, a mall cop was throwing away his food. "That's the last time I get sushi out of the vending machine." Then he saw Hop Pop walk by and immediately got suspicious. "Mark here. Got a suspicious looking C.O.D. Creepy Old Dude, on radar. I'm in pursuit." Then he chased after the old frog on his Segway.
Meanwhile, Anne watched from the balcony, humming to herself. "So far, so good. The Anne Boonchuy trial by fire is really paying off."
"I'm back," called out Johan. He was carrying slabs of meat under his arm. "I got these at good price. And now..." He placed the meat on a nearby table, put the umbrella under his arm and, without even taking them out of the wrappings, he sunk his fingers into the meat. Anne watched as they all dried up and shriveled, and she suddenly had a thought in her head: what if that was a human being instead of slabs of bloody meat? What if Johan develops a craving for human blood? He's already drained a couple newts back in Newtopia.
When he was finished, Johan threw the leftovers away and licked his fingers clean before grabbing the umbrella. "I think my hand's come back. Finally, I can take off this glove." He did so, and to Anne's amazement, the hand was back, like it hadn't been turned into a pile of dust in the first place. "So," he asked as he flexed his regenerated fingers. "What's the damage so far?"
"So far, none, thank goodness."
Suddenly, a female voice unfamiliar to Johan said, "O-M-G... Anne? Is it really you?" He and Anne turned around to see a girl about Anne's age with red hair tied in the back by a blue scrunchy, a round freckled face, and wearing a grey sleeveless shirt, a red slightly torn pants, and green shoes. The girl ran up to Anne and the two of them hugged. "Where have you been? Is it true you went missing or ran away or died or something?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Gabby. I wast just on my family's farm. In... Alaska... for five months."
Johan coughed, getting the girls' attention. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
The instant Gabby laid eyes on the boy, her eyes brightened. His golden hair, pale skin, honey brown eyes, and feminine voice, they were so...captivating. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend," she asked Anne in a dreamy voice. "Wait, you are friends, right? JUST friends?"
"Uh...yeah?" said Johan. "Uh...my name's..." He paused. Was there any reason to keep using that alias anymore? "My name is Giorgio Giovanna," he said, surprising Anne. "My friends call me JoJo."
Gabby said, "Any friend of Anne is a friend of mine, JoJo." She then saw the umbrella and asked, "Why are you carrying an umbrella? We're indoors and it's not even raining outside."
"I'm allergic to the sun," said Johan, wishing this conversation would end.
"Oh, you poor thing. Does this mean you don't go out to the beach?"
"Only at night," said Giorgio.
"Hmm, maybe we could have a nighttime beach party to celebrate Anne's return? I could invite some friends over."
Anne coughed loudly and said, "Sorry, Gabby, but JoJo's..."
Gabby interrupted her, "Oh, I almost forgot. Now that you're back, I got to catch you up on all the hot gossip."
"Listen, I'm sorta..."
"So... Bridget got mad at Carlos 'cause she thought Carlos went to the movies with Johanna, but it was actually Yoko. So then Yoko and Bridget stopped being BFF's until they both got mad at Tommy because Tommy said 'We've only been dating since second grade, we're not soul mates'."
Anne started to tune her out.
Giorgio thought, Anne was right. She is a chatterbox. He summoned DARE, who stuffed its fingers in his ears, turning off his sense of hearing. He sighed. Much better.
Meanwhile, Sprig was starting to crack. "I can't do this. These things are so cool." He looked up and saw Anne and Giorgio, their backs turned as they were distracted by Gabby. An evil thought formed in Sprig's mind. What Anne and JoJo don't know, won't hurt them. "Chance," he said. He walked over to the big exhibit and let his fingers work their magic.
He touched a glass panel. "Tooouch..." He touched a steel with barbed spikes and rubbed ouched some cottons on his cheeks. "Feeling..." He swung on a rope with cotton hanging on it toward the giant eye on top of the exhibit and chuckled as he clung to it. Suddenly, the cotton rope broke, and it bounced down the spines, passed through the red valve, passed through a lever and ended up lowering the lever with a sign that says "Caution! Disassembly Lever." Sprig knew he was in trouble now. "Uh-oh..."
The entire exhibit fell apart and the giant eye rolled down the gallery like a boulder, destroying other exhibits, all the while Sprig clung on for dear life.
Back with Polly, she almost managed to finish her toy, even though she was being assaulted by an army of babies at this point. "Almost...DONE! Ha!" She pushed her way through the crowd and held it up proudly. "Ha ha!" Suddenly, one of the babies pushed into her, making her drop the doll and it slid across the floor toward the feet of another baby in purple dinosaur pajamas. Polly's eyes widened with horror when he picked it up. "No! Please!" She fell to her knees. "I'm so tired... this madness needs to stop!"
An evil smile formed on the baby's face as he ripped the toy in half. That was the last straw for Polly. "THAT'S... IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" She tackled the baby and began punching him in the face and before long, all the other babies began fighting too.
"Someone get the manager!" one of the parents shouted.
Meanwhile, Hop Pop managed to walk through the Hall of Scammers no problem. He chuckled at his accomplishment. "Take that, Anne. Told you and JoJo your world was easy-pea-" He gasped when he saw the mall's wishing fountain, full to the brim with pennies. "It can't be... Thousands of coppers just there for the taking... FOR FREEEEEE?!" He turned around and saw Anne and Giorgio distracted by Gabby's chatting. An evil thought formed in his mind: what Anne and JoJo don't know won't hurt them. "Chance."
The old frog tore off his clothes and jumped in the fountain. Officer Mark pulled up and gasped. "We got a disrober stealing wishes in progress. Over."
Back with Anne and Giorgio, they were still being bombarded with Gabby's constant chatter. "So what started out as a love triangle is now some kind of disgusting love rhombus."
"Non stai mai zitto?" asked Giorgio.
"Huh?"
"Never mind." He looked down from the balcony and gasped at what he saw. "Anne!" He tugged on her shoulder, getting her attention. The sight of Sprig rolling down on a giant eyeball made the two of them curse themselves for not paying attention.
"I MAY HAVE TOUCHED SOMETHING!" the young frog shouted.
"I knew we forgot something," said Giorgio. "We gotta save him!"
"Good to see you, Gabs. Got to go," Anne rapidly said as she followed Giorgio down the stairs.
"Later, Anne! Glad you made it back from Alaska! Nice meeting you, JoJo! I hope we see each other again!"
Giorgio stood in front of the rolling eyeball, then punched it with his free hand, causing it to stop. Unfortunately, the momentum caused Sprig to fly off and zip across the mall. "Oops," said Giorgio sheepishly. "Looks like I don't know my own strength. My own freakish vampire strength."
But that wasn't the only problem. Polly was running out of the Build-a-Bear Workshop with a mob of angry moms and babies chasing after her. "GANGWAY! ANGRY MOMS COMING TROUGH!"
"At least it can't get any worse," said Anne.
"Think again," said Giorgio, pointing toward Hop Pop who was half naked and green with pockets full of loose change with Officer Mark chasing after him. "HELP ME, ANNE! HELP ME, JOJO!"
"HOP POP?!" shouted Anne. "WHY ARE YOU GREEN?"
"THE CURSED FOUNTAIN DID THIS TO ME. YOU'RE RIGHT, ANNE! EVERYTHING HAS ITS PRICE!"
Giorgio shook his head. "Well, looks like I win that bet after all. They didn't last eleven minutes."
"Ok. First things first: Gotta clean up this mess!" said Anne.
"You save Sprig," said Giorgio. "I'll deal with Polly and Hopediah!"
Anne nodded, then took a deep breath, activating her Ripple. Then she leaped forward at breakneck speed, grabbing Sprig before he could crash into a wall.
Meanwhile, Giorgio grabbed Polly, then turned to face the angry mob. His eyes glowed red as he activated his hypnosis. "Stop." The mob's eyes turned pink as well, then stopped in their tracks. "You won't chase after this girl, and you will all take your babies somewhere more age appropriate. Like a McDonald's play place." The moms obeyed him.
Now all that was left was Hop Pop. Giorgio grabbed him and faced Officer Mark, activating his hypnosis again. "You are not going after a green-skinned frog man, and are going after a doughnut instead."
"Okie-dokie." Mark reached for his walkie-talkie. "False alarm. Over." As he rolled away on his Segway, Hop Pop breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, JoJo," he said.
Giorgio glared at him. "Put the pennies back and put your clothes on."
Hop Pop shrunk. "Y-Yes, sir."
Anne, the Plantars, and Giorgio met up in an alley behind the mall as the sun began to set. "Well, guess we failed out trials," said Sprig sadly.
"Oh, you think?" snarked Polly.
"No no. I'M the one who failed," said Anne. "I shouldn't put you guys through all of this in the first place. It was too much and too soon."
"Don't feel too bad," said Hop Pop. "Turns out we could stand to learn a few things about your world." He gestured to his green skin.
Anne sat next to a dumpster and said, "I just really thought throwing you into the deep end would work. I mean, it worked for me and JoJo in Amphibia."
The Plantars laughed while Giorgio let out a scoff. "Are you kidding me, Anne? We barely survived! Do you know how many times we nearly got lost, or killed, or eaten? Hundreds! We nearly got torn apart by not one, but two rival gangs!"
"He's right," said Hop Pop. "I'm surprised you survived a month alone in the woods before you met us, Anne."
"Yeah," said Polly. "Remember when she was looking at her phone and walked right into that pool of quicksand?"
"Or when she was napping outside and a swarm of Skullsuckers tried to carry her away?" asked Sprig.
"Hey, I don't remember that last part," said Anne.
"Anne, we were always looking out for you, even if you didn't always notice," said Hop Pop as he put a hand on her shoulder.
"The same thing with the Sundews," said Giorgio. "They looked out for me too." He smiled. "Everybody needs somebody somehow."
Anne smiled and pulled everyone into a group hug. "Thanks, guys. I had no idea. And I'll try to do better about easing you into this place."
Sprig took note of Hop Pop's skin and said, "I think we need to get Hop Pop to a shower."
"Oh, yes, please. My skin is burning."
Giorgio chuckled. "Well, that's what you get for swimming in a chlorinated fountain."
After returning to the Boonchuy residence, everyone decided to end the day by watching movies on the TV in the living room. Giorgio exhaled and said, "Hey, Anne. The next time you have an adventure, can we have one that takes place at night? I feel silly carrying around that umbrella all the time."
"No promises," said Anne, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"You want to go to the park," asked Sprig. "That's open twenty-four seven."
"Uh, let's save that until after we're ready," said Hop Pop. "The freaks come out at night, after all."
Giorgio said, "Well, I'm freaky enough to go out."
Anne's phone buzzed. "Who could sending me a text message this late?" She checked it. "Ugh. It's Gabby. What does she want? 'Anne, I didn't want to say this in front of JoJo, but...'" What she read next made her eyes pop out. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"
"What?" asked Giorgio. He looked at the message and said with shock, "She saw my DARE?" Then he realized the implications and said, even more outraged, "Oh, my God! That chatterbox is a Stand user?!"
⬅ To be continued...
