Helloooo Casketeers! Here's hoping you're all enjoying your October and the change in weather. I 'evacuated' my house for a night to let my son and his girlfriend host birthday parties as they turn 20 & 21 years old this weekend, lol. Needless to say, as I sit here in a hotel room writing, I have this Richard Castle'esque kind of vibe - so here is chapter 10 of our story!
I hope this chapter gets to the heart of that Kate/Josh 'what happened' question - at least from my perspective. Some have said that Kate is avoiding telling Castle about this...that's not what I was going for, just fyi. It was more about how I felt the chapters were coming together and getting other important parts of their time apart into the story before hitting that specific information. So, now we are at that point. I hope that makes sense!
Again, thank you to all who have read, liked, commented or even given this story a little chance. I've enjoyed reading your thoughts - yes, ALL of them! and getting MY thoughts into the fiction-verse. ;)
Now, what came between Kate and Josh you wonder? Let's find out! Moments of Always: Chapter 10 - That Moment When...
KTCLF!
-adcg
MomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlways
It was simple, baked chicken, some rice, a garden salad…and the two danced their way around each other in the cabin kitchen much like they did at their normal home - or at their Hamptons house. The little touches - Kate letting her upper body graze against Rick's back as she passed by him…Rick purposefully reaching around her to grab a utensil from the counter - and the smooching between the two of them would've led any onlooker to think it was Valentine's Day or an anniversary dinner that was being prepared.
Instead, it was just an interlude between two emotionally charged conversations…or perhaps two emotionally charged people who wanted to let the other know that anything could be shared in those moments and their love would still hold strong.
More than once Rick placed his hand on Kate's waist, pulled her toward him and pressed his lips to her forehead, her nose and her mouth while moving his hand to her belly where their baby was growing.
Each knew there was more to the conversation that needed to be said but in these moments, cooking a dinner together, that chat went away for a few minutes to be replaced by stories of the Castle's camping trips when Alexis was younger and a younger Jim Beckett who was pulled into the lake by a fish that wasn't even big enough to fry.
They laughed and basked in the time together, away from the hustle and bustle of their normal city life. But when the conversation lulled for more than just a moment, Kate took in a deep breath and Rick knew it was time to listen to his wife, once more, in his role as a loving husband.
"Josh and I met at a fundraiser," she began.
Rick faked a gasp and put a hand to his chest. "Why Captain Beckett, I didn't think you attended such events without being undercover!" he exclaimed and then gave her an exaggerated sideways smile.
She smiled back at him then forged on. "It was an annual benefit that my mom and dad used to go to together. The first one after Mom was killed, Dad tried not to go. At one of our Sunday lunches, at the diner, he said he didn't want to go. All of his colleagues would've understood. He was on the upside of alcoholism and tried to use that as an excuse too. But we were in a good place and he needed to attend. So I told him he was going and that I would go with him. Since then it's been a dad and daughter annual thing for us."
Rick nodded as Kate thought back to the event. "Dad's law firm sponsors several well-known charities, including Doctors Without Borders. They bring in locals who are deeply involved with the different groups to talk about the work they do and how, of course, any additional funding can be used."
Kate grabbed another roll from the basket on the table and began pinching tiny bites off of it and sliding them between her lips as she continued. "Dad never likes to sit in the front of the room so that year we purposefully took seats at a table in the very back where it was a little dark. I think it often suits both our moods. But of course, he gets pulled into different conversations with some of his coworkers and drifts all over the place. Once I know he's comfortable with a club soda in his hands, I just kind of sit and watch."
So I'm sitting at the table alone, perfectly content, sipping on my drink and scrolling through Facebook on my phone, and the next thing I knew, this man was standing at our table asking if all the seats were taken."
"Let me guess…Mr. Tall, Dark and Motorcycle Riding?" Rick estimated.
Kate looked at him with confirmation of his assuming guess.
MomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlways
"You look like you're having about as much fun as me," Josh began without even asking her name. "Is your date a doctor or a lawyer?" He pulled out a chair that appeared to be unoccupied and slid into it just a little nervously.
Kate looked at him a little skeptically, "A father," she said with a point of keeping things almost as sketchy as he was.
"Oh, my mistake," the handsome stranger admitted. "I apologize. I didn't mean to insult you or your husband," he started to get up from the table but Kate swore, even in the dark lighting, that she could see a blush on the man's cheeks.
"I didn't say I was with my husband," she informed him and that blush grew a little deeper. She watched as he avoided looking into her eyes and found his embarrassment somewhat amusing. "You don't need to get up, but you wanna start all over again?" she asked with a smile growing on her face.
Josh looked at her and smiled back with a little shake of his head. "I'm not sure I should," he said with much less confidence than his first line. "I really am not good at this, am I?"
Kate thought he was handsome and was wondering where his date might be for this evening, so she was willing to give him a second chance. "You aren't good at small talk?" She noted that he let out a little labored breath. "Same here, thus the seat at the empty table in the back of the room," she commented with raised eyebrows and a smile. "Hi, I'm Kate," she gave him a break, stretched her arm out across the table and waited for him to accept the gesture.
When he did, shaking her hand, he laughed at himself softly and shook his head. "I'm Josh, nice to meet you Kate. What brings you to this shindig tonight?" He attempted to redeem himself.
"My Dad," she answered simply. "His law firm is a DWB sponsor and they hold these 'shindigs' every year to get all the younger attorneys on board. He always pouts about not having a date and then wrangles me into coming along."
Yes, it had been a lie, somewhat, but it kept her from having to go into the whole 'my mom was murdered and I come along to keep my dad off the booze' spiel.
"That's kind of you, and him, and them," Josh answered.
"So how about you?" Kate wondered, to quickly turn the tables. "Are you with the law firm? You can't tell me you're here alone? Or ARE you here alone to try and pick up a date or two?" She creased her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest with that thought.
Josh laughed at her quick turn of attitude and leaned back in his chair. "No, no-no," he tried to sound assuring. "I'm with DWB and some of my fellow physicians encouraged me to come meet some of our sponsors. Honestly, I didn't even try to get a date because I didn't know how long I'd stick around."
He was glad to see her relax a little with that insight. It was true, kind of. He knew plenty of women who would've happily been his arm-candy for the night but in this atmosphere he didn't just want some model hanging on his arm. He would've rather had someone with substance behind the made up face. When he had spotted this lovely lady sitting alone he decided to at least introduce himself.
Kate sized him up again and decided to accept his answer since he had accepted hers. "So you're a doctor?" She ventured and Josh nodded. "Have you done much traveling for the charity?"
"Not as much as I'd like, but enough to see the help that's needed out there," the pensive look on his face told Kate how much he was thinking about his work.
"What happens when you make a trip with them," she wondered. "Are you gone for months at a time or how does that work?"
"It depends," she could see him loosen up simply because she seemed to be taking an interest. "There are areas that need help all over the world. We even have doctors from other countries that come into the U.S. sometimes. For me it's been a couple of trips to Haiti that lasted about two weeks each and one to Kenya. That was eye-opening." He took in a deep breath recollecting his time in the African nation.
Kate adjusted in her seat, now more interested, and leaned forward as they spoke. "My dad and I talk about these dinners and the speakers that share their experiences and include pictures and discussions about the work that they…that you've…done. It sounds pretty humbling," she commented.
Again, Josh nodded. "More than you can imagine…" he paused and then backtracked. "Wait, I shouldn't say that. I have no idea what kind of work you do or where you come from. I'm left apologizing again."
Kate smiled at him sweetly. "No, you're right, I really can't imagine. I'm in law enforcement here in the city. So we see crime, we see death all around us, but I'm certainly not one of those at an e.r. trying to patch up a victim or save their lives." She paused for just a second. "So, Doctor… um, Josh, are you a general practitioner or do you have a medical specialty?" Kate wondered about her wording and yes, was also fishing for his last name so she could look him up later.
"Well a lot of the work I do is general medicine," he began, but I am a car-"
"Dr. Davidson?" The young voice came out of the blue and broke both of their gazes from each other as they turned their heads. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, but… Hi, I'm Robert, one of the runners tonight. Um, Mr. Hazelton asked me to find you and let you know that they'll start the program in about 10 minutes if you'd like to make your way up front, please?"
Kate looked at Robert as he spoke and then at Josh again as he smiled apologetically. She finally glanced down at the program in front of her and toward the sandwich board stationed at the entry doorway.
And there he was…keynote speaker, one of Doctors Without Borders most-requested cardiologists, Dr. Joshua Davidson.
Her mouth was slightly agape when she looked up at him again and he shrugged one shoulder.
"Kate, is there any chance I can get your last name, or your phone number? I'd like to talk to you more after this 'shindig'," he requested politely.
She rolled her eyes at him but then reached into her clutch and grabbed one of the business cards that she always carried with her. She doubted she'd ever hear from him again, but just in case, what the hell. "Sure, Dr. Davidson," she smirked slightly, "If you ever find yourself with some spare time, I'm sure I could use a cardiac checkup. I work out of the 12th precinct," she noted with a little bit of sarcasm. "That's my desk number," she tapped as she handed him the card and saw the glimmer in his eyes.
Josh held her gaze for a few extra moments as he took the card from her fingers, brushed his hand against hers and tucked the card away inside his tuxedo jacket pocket for future reference.
He was intrigued. He hoped she would still be as well, after this charity function was finished.
MomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlways
"Did he seriously call you at the precinct?" Rick was irritated - why hadn't he thought of that? "You didn't put your mobile number on there for him?" he continued with a slight pout.
"He called me the next day, as a matter of fact," Kate pressed her lips together remembering the nervousness in Josh's voice when she answered her phone with her signature, nearly monotone, 'Beckett…'. "And, we met for drinks and dinner a couple of nights later. He is passionate about his work," Kate added.
Castle looked down at his empty plate on the table and then mentioned, "It's interesting, you know, how much we men are influenced by a woman when she takes an interest in what we do. Yes, I was somewhat of an ass when we first met and you were forced to work with me, but do you realize that I was intrigued by you partly because you've read my books?"
Kate tilted her head and smiled at him sweetly. "Really?" she asked honestly and Rick nodded his head slowly.
"Our first case together, you were talking about books that were little-known, along with the biggies that put me on the map. You dropped little hints - inadvertently of course - that you had been on my website. That was highly amusing, but also kind of warmed me up inside; almost as much as the coffee I started buying for us!" he grinned knowing the coffee had helped him ingratiate himself to her. "You snagged a piece of my heart with that knowledge," he admitted.
"You had a funny way of showing it," she gested, making him smile wider as they both thought back to the trouble he had caused her on so many levels.
"So," Rick redirected the focus once more, "Motorcycle Boy is passionate about his work. That doesn't surprise me."
"No, it's not surprising, but he never really talked about himself or his charitable work. We always talked about patients and situations that he and his colleagues ran into and how they worked through them. But he would quickly turn things around to the cases I worked on and he would end up helping me with research, usually. He wasn't egotistical or self-absorbed, just happy to help," Kate continued.
"I bet," Castle commented and then sidebarred, "Snuggled up in bed with your laptop…you really were doing research? I figured that was just code for watching porn together…"
"Castle!" Kate chastised him with mouth slightly agape and head shaking. "I save that for our naked playtimes," she added with a dip of her chin and eyes gazing toward him.
"Good to know," he wagged his eyebrows at her. "But back to Josh…" Castle twisted his lips.
"But," she paused, trying to get her thoughts together. "Do you remember our dirty bomb case when you and I were stuck in that quarantine tent while the crews checked for radiation levels?"
"Phew," Rick blew air through his lips, "Do I remember that? I saved New York that day, Sweetheart." He grinned widely.
Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You asked me where Josh was and at that point I thought he was on his way out of the country again on another medical mission of sorts. We had been dating a couple of months and while I really appreciate what he does, I was beginning to kind of despise him being on the go so much. That's why I told you that I wanted to find someone who could be there for me…and I could be there for him…and just dive into things together."
Castle nodded. He remembered that conversation vividly. It was one of several chances when he should've opened his mouth sooner. He remembered the words on his lips when the technician unzipped their cocoon and interrupted his thought. "I'm right here, Kate," was what he wanted to say to her.
"I was right there, Kate," he opted to mention in the middle of those thoughts.
"I know," she acknowledged, "and in that moment I wanted you to say that. But we got interrupted."
"And then we nearly froze to death," Castle tossed into the mix.
"And I almost told you I loved you…Did I tell you I loved you in that freezer, before I passed out?" Kate could still feel the shivers of those desperate moments.
"If you did, it fell on deaf ears because I was out too. And then of course he came to our rescue." Rick rolled his eyes as Kate laughed at him.
"His time away became a big thing between us. I think I told you, how was I supposed to compare to that? He's off saving the world but I wanted him there with me. Asking him to make that choice was stupid almost." She sounded a little frustrated.
"That's not stupid," Rick defended her. "If you were in love with him and if he was in love with you, spending time together is what you want to do. You can't just see each other once a month and expect to forge a lasting relationship," he grumbled a little bit.
Kate bit on her bottom lip. "That's kind of where things landed when we got up here, after I was shot," she moved the story forward. "He happened to be in the country and there at the hospital when I was brought in. He was supposed to go somewhere a week or so later but after my shooting he turned down several trips so he could be here with me. I was impressed that he would do that for me, but it also made me feel guilty, I guess, that I was keeping him from helping other people."
"But again," Rick interjected, "if he loved you and you loved him, then that sacrifice should've been without questions or guilt of any kind. If he made you feel guilty about that -"
"He didn't, at least not at first," Kate pressed on. "After we were here at the cabin for probably two weeks, he started getting antsy. I started realizing that he's not one to stay in one place for too long. Yeah, New York is his home…but more like home base. He enjoys the travel that comes with the work. The DWB trips actually helped him to focus on his work and learn more. But to be with the same patient for weeks on end, wasn't his cup of tea, exactly."
"He never made me feel anything but comfortable and cared for, but I think we both started realizing that the excitement of getting to know each other had worn off. Plus, I seemed to keep getting myself into these life threatening situations and he didn't seem overly thrilled by that." She looked at her husband a little pointedly.
"Hey, not ALL of those were my fault!" Castle decided to defend himself, making Kate laugh.
"He came back to the city for a weekend and when he got back up here he said we needed to talk," Kate was almost as ready to have this chat behind her as she was for that one.
"Ouch," Castle commented.
"Well, yes and no," Kate thought about it. "Remember me telling you about Dad's little chat with me - the one where he told me that I wasn't in love with Josh…I was in love with you? That chat happened the weekend that Josh had gone home," she recognized the knowing nod that Rick gave her. "I kind of wondered if Dad had talked to Josh at some point as well, maybe before he went home that weekend. Cause Josh came back and told me that I wasn't in love with him."
"Ooo, did he not know that you aren't a fan of people telling you how to feel?" Castle interjected and Kate smiled.
"He said we cared deeply about each other, but he knew I wasn't IN love with him. I countered by saying the same thing about him…he wasn't in love with me. And he didn't deny it. He said as much as he did care about me, it had made him take a very close look at his life and the career that he had chosen. He could see us potentially falling in love, but only if he gave up Doctors Without Borders, or if I left my career and traveled with him. That was an immediate 'no' from me," Kate supplied. "AND, he said, either way, I would need to give up being a cop and putting myself into danger all the time."
"That's not - how could he ask you to do that?" Castle wondered, slightly angry.
"That's the thing. I was dumbfounded when he said it, Castle, but then he explained. I would never ask him to give up his DWB work and he would never truly ask me to give up my career either. But if neither of us could fully accept what the other does, then having a future together was probably not the best idea for us."
Castle sat back in his seat and thought about her words. "I would never ask you to quit," he said quietly. "Do I worry about you? Of course! But I also love that twinkle in your eye when the pieces of a case start falling into place for you. As hard as it is, you are an amazing rock when it comes to talking to victims' families. I will always mean it when I say that you are extraordinary, Katherine Beckett Castle, because you have allowed me to see you, 100 percent, in every aspect of your job and I am still overwhelmed by the many sides of Kate the detective and Kate, my wife. I still don't think you realize how incredible you really are."
Kate blushed profusely, as she always did when he sincerely complimented her. She lifted her left hand off the table, held it up in front of him and pointed at her wedding band. "Which is why we are right here, together. You've been right here beside me for years, supporting me and helping me and putting up with me. But you've never even hinted at…"
Rick laughed to interrupt her purposefully, "Oh yes I have. Several times I've told you I'd take you away from it all. Don't you think that's me wanting to get you out of danger's way?"
"But you've never asked me, outright, to quit my job." Kate stated pointedly.
"Well sure. Without your job, where would Nikki Heat get her material?" He rolled his eyes and they sat and looked at each other across the table for a few more moments.
"So that's the long and short of it?" Rick asked, "Your jobs came between you?"
"And the fact that he knew that I had feelings for you. During our time up here, more than once, I know we talked about you. Me, Dad and Josh. We laughed about some parts and griped about some others." She gave Castle a little swimming head movement to signify that the griping had been half hearted, somewhat.
"Josh asked me why I hadn't seen you since that day at the hospital. I told him that you didn't need my baggage. But I think there was at least one time that he responded that you could likely handle that baggage better than he could. Because you do that…when you love someone." She recalled hearing Josh say that with his back turned to her.
Kate took Rick's hand and held it to her lips placing soft kisses against his palm. "I wish I had called you or had Lanie send you up here while I was recuperating. I missed you a lot. But I didn't know how to handle myself or our situation. Especially after Josh left. The last two weeks or so, it was just me up here. Me and my thoughts of you and Alexis and Martha. I wondered if there was any possible way that you and I could make a go of a relationship. And I heard you saying those words in my sleep, telling me that you loved me. I didn't want that to be the last time I heard them, but I had no idea how to get us back on track."
Rick breathed in and out calmly. "But we figured it out eventually, right? Together. That's how we have to do things Kate."
"Sooo," Kate released her hold on his hand, bit on her lip, stood up and went to the counter to retrieve her phone, "then you need to be right here when I call Josh. He knows we're together, obviously, but I want to reinforce our togetherness…together…with you, here…" she thought about how cheesy her words were.
"Do I get to tell him that you're carrying my baby?" Castle grinned and preened at that fact. Kate rolled her eyes.
"Sure, but there will be no talk of where or how you got me pregnant. Understood?" She looked at him with eyebrows raised.
Rick conceded with a little smirk. "That'd be hard to pinpoint anyway, wouldn't it? Considering how often we make love, I mean. Speaking of which…" He rushed on to bypass her denial and stood up to take the phone from her hands. He backed her up and pinned her gently against the kitchen counter as he tucked her phone into his pocket. "We can call him back a little later, right? Or tomorrow perhaps. From what I recall, there's a wide open living room that needs some Castle christening…" he bit on his bottom lip in his coy request.
Kate shook her head but allowed him to tug her out of the kitchen and into said living room. "Remind me to ask Dr. Ange if it's possible to become pregnant with another baby before I give birth to this one…"
MomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlwaysMomentsOfAlways
Afterthoughts... Alright, now I have a question for you... I can go one of two ways at this point of the story, which would you prefer?
1) Skip conversations with Dr. Motorcycle Boy and jump to pregnancy month #9...
OR
2) Include at least one or two more chapters that bring our fave couple back into the city for some chats/consultations/conversations with Josh and others about the upcoming life event.
I can honestly go either way with this - it just depends on how you're feeling about this story - want more, or are ya done with it?
As always, thank you for reading and giving me a chance! Your reviews feed my muse and I love where it leads me. ;)
KTCLF!
-adcg
