An hour or so after returning to his tent, Cullen sat back and stretched. He had finally completed his paperwork for the night and was ready to relax- or at least try to.
"Commander?"
Cullen looked back at the tent flap as someone in a cloak stepped through. "What is it?"
"Thought you might like something to drink to help you relax."
Cullen stood and turned towards the person, a woman by the voice. "That sounds great." He watched as she lowered her hood and he noticed it was the same woman who brought him his meal. "Did I miss another call?"
She shook her head. "No, just thought you might like to try some of the hot cider the lads brewed." She pulled a lidded jug from beneath her cloak, setting them on the table where there was free space. "Careful, it's pipin' hot." She rummaged beneath her cloak on the other side and produced a bottle of brandy. "And in case you need a little extra kick." She set the brandy next to the jug. "If there's nothing else you need, ser, I'll take my leave."
"Wait, what's your name?"
"Emery, ser."
"And you are a cook with the Inquisition?"
"Aye, ser. Got the job a few weeks after the Inquisition's arrival to Skyhold, though I usually stick to the kitchens. Imagine my surprise when I was assigned to this company."
"It must be rather odd."
"I've done more traveling since joining the Inquisition than ever before, so can't complain too much."
"Well, we're lucky to have you within our ranks. It's thanks to you and the rest of the cooks that we all stay fed."
Emery chuckled at that. "Only doing my job, Commander."
"One that is still essential, no matter where you are."
Emery regarded him for a moment, then offered him a smile.
"What?"
"You seem to have perked up a bit since earlier, that's all." Emery gestured towards the drinks. "That brandy is a blackberry blend that Menek has been experimenting with, but it's a good one. Goes well with the cider if you feel like mixin' them."
"I'll have to give it a try, then."
Emery watched him grab one of the goblets from the table, noticing that he still seemed to have something on his mind as he poured himself a drink. "Commander, it does help to talk to someone when things get muddled upstairs. Locking your troubles behind thick doors does no good for you in the long run."
Cullen glanced at her, surprised by her perceptiveness. "Are you offering to lend an ear?"
Emery shrugged. "My duties are over for the night, so I have the time if you need it."
Cullen regarded her a moment, taking a sip of the cider on its own. "You're quite perceptive for your age."
"'My age'?" Emery chuckled. "Ser, just how young do you think me to be?"
"You look to be in your early twenties." Emery's chuckle turned into a gentle laugh. "What?"
"That's rather flattering, ser, but incorrect."
"How old are you?"
"I'll be thirty come autumn."
"Ah."
"Thinking you might like that bit of brandy now, eh?"
Cullen rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Perhaps that'd be wise, else I risk digging myself a deeper hole."
Emery poured him some of the brandy and offered it to him. "You've a good heart, Commander, even if you may be a little less than experienced with these sorts of things."
Cullen took the drink and sighed. "I don't normally converse like this, even with the rest of the Herald's council."
Emery patted his hand. "Perhaps it's time, then. It'd do you well to loosen up a bit." She moved her hand to her cloak, letting it rest next to the hood. "Did you want the company, ser? If not, I can take my leave."
Cullen thought a few moments, then nodded. "I would, yes. Perhaps a new perspective is what I need right now. That is if you don't mind?"
Emery pulled the ties of her cloak loose and took it from her shoulders, setting it to the side. "Not at all, ser. What's got your knickers in a bunch?"
Cullen rolled his eyes, reminded a bit of Sera. "I'm sure you heard about the bear attack."
Emery nodded, accepting the drink Cullen poured her. "Aye, they said it was likely a Venatori experiment gone awry?"
Cullen sat down, nodding. "Red lyrium covered the majority of the beast's body."
Emery sat across from him, leaning back in her seat and crossing one leg over the other. "The mages said it mutated into something nearly unrecognizable, like how the Red Templars get if the lyrium spreads too far." She took a sip and noticed the look Cullen had. "That's not what bothers you, though, is it?"
Cullen shook his head. "I was reminded of what happened in Kirkwall..."
It was then that Emery understood. "Your old Knight-Commander was corrupted by red lyrium herself, wasn't she?"
Cullen nodded. "Seeing that beast infected like that... it brought up some unwelcome memories..."
Emery watched him for a few moments. "Some wounds never heal, especially when they lie deep beneath the surface. But letting them fester is no way to go about them, either. Did you never seek help in dealing with the trauma of what happened?"
Cullen shook his head. "There was too much to do. It was easier to keep pushing it to the back of my mind, to try and forget what happened."
"But you never will. It will keep resurfacing the longer you ignore it. You need to learn how to overcome the effects they have on you so that you can heal properly." Emery leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. "It's not the easiest thing, not by a long shot. It takes time and determination to get better, but even then some things just don't get better."
"You sound as though you speak from experience."
Emery chuckled at that. "Aye, and though it may not compare to your experience, I still know how difficult it can be to get through life without being plagued by the past."
"And how do you manage?"
"Honestly? Drinking helps, but so does sex."
Cullen choked a bit on his drink when she said that and looked at her. "S-Sorry?"
"Sometimes a strong drink and a good romping in the sheets is all you need." Emery chuckled and offered him a handkerchief. "Aside from that, talking with someone about it- like a healer who specializes in that sort of thing- does wonders."
"I-I suppose that's true."
Emery raised a brow. "Have you never tried those tactics?"
"Drinking, sure..." Cullen cleared his throat, drying his chin and the table in front of him. "The latter? Not so much."
"Hmm, well perhaps you should give it a try then."
Cullen was surprised by her bluntness and lack of decorum but somehow found it refreshing. "In any case, I've found myself a bit on edge since then. More than usual, that is. And I fear that I may have lashed out at someone as a result, unfairly so."
"Oh? You wouldn't be talking 'bout Leah, would you?"
"I would..."
"Well, she seems fine despite whatever happened. A wee bit dejected, perhaps, but fine otherwise." Emery poured some cider into her goblet to mix it with the brandy. "I assume something happened, then?"
"She was only concerned about my wellbeing, but I reacted rather harshly..."
"Can't have been too bad, though. She's still worried about you, even more than just as a healer."
"She has helped me quite a bit in a number of ways, but I acted foolishly and impulsively, and I am beginning to regret it..."
"And why is that? Sometimes impulsiveness can be a good thing."
Cullen sighed. "Not in this case."
"Lemme guess, you made an 'in the moment' type move." Emery watched Cullen's expression and her question was answered anyway. "Whelp, it doesn't seem to have done any damage to the relationship, so even if it was a bad move on your part, I think you'll be just fine."
Cullen downed the rest of his drink and accepted another when Emery offered. "Be that as it may, it doesn't prevent me from feeling like a royal ass."
"You win some, you lose some." Emery shrugged and took a swig of her own drink. She watched him for a moment, looking him over, then leaned forward again. "May I make a suggestion?"
Cullen raised a brow with intrigue. "I suppose?"
Emery raised her goblet and pointed at Cullen. "Get yourself laid."
Cullen stopped before he could take a drink and just gaped at her. "I beg your pardon?"
"Get. Yourself. Laid." Emery repeated slowly. "You're so wound up, Commander, that it's a wonder you've lasted this long."
"Maker's breath..."
"I'm serious, Commander, even if it's just a random brothel worker or a scullery maid." Emery leaned back and shrugged. "You need to relieve yourself of that sexual tension plaguing you. Soon as you do, I bet you six sovereigns you'll feel better afterwards."
Cullen could feel his face, neck, and ears all burning. "A-And what makes you think that?"
"Have you ever lain with a woman before? Or a man, if that's how you swing?"
"N-No..?"
"Are you attracted to anyone?"
"P-Perhaps..."
"Do you ever fantasize about ravaging a woman?"
Cullen remained silent, but his expression gave the answer away.
Emery saluted him with her drink. "There you go, then."
Cullen felt mortified, but he could see the point that Emery was making. "I don't know how we even got onto this topic of discussion..."
"Interesting segway from trauma, is it not?"
"Indeed it is."
They sat in silence for some time, just thinking over what was said and enjoying their drinks. Outside, the rain didn't seem to be letting up and the thunder crashed overhead.
"Maker, this storm is going to be a rough one," Emery noted, glancing outside. "Hopefully my cloak will be enough to keep me dry for the short trip back to my tent."
"Perhaps you should leave before it gets too much worse, then."
Emery nodded, standing. She looked at Cullen as he stood with her and offered him a tipsy smile. "It was nice having a chat with you, Commander. I do hope I was able to help a little?"
Cullen nodded, ignoring the blush creeping back up his neck to his ears. "As crude and blunt as it was, your insight was appreciated."
Emery chuckled and reached up to tap his cheek. "Glad to be of assistance." She reached for her cloak. "I suppose I should get going then."
Cullen watched her slip the cloak over her shoulders and pull the hood over her head. "Thank you for lending an ear, Emery."
"Any time, Commander." She reached forward and gave his hand a squeeze. "Give some thought to what I said. I wasn't just teasing you. You'll feel better one way or another, promise. And I never break a promise." She winked, then took her leave.
Cullen watched her quickly disappear into the rain and sighed, feeling the brandy finally settling in deep. 'Maker, she is an interesting one.'
