Seia wasn't in her room in the morning when Lorash went to check. The sith's bed was neatly made, her clothes folded, and her armored robes laid out. Then again, she'd never known Seia to sleep late. Lorash padded down the open balcony that overlooked the cargo bay, glancing off to her left. The lights were on inside the ship, but someone had intentionally dimmed the bay. The sound of impacts, fists or maybe knees against canvas and sand, told her where the sith was. Apparently Seia was either feeling recovered enough to finally put herself through her paces or her anger from the night before burned hotly enough that her exhaustion didn't matter.

The thought of the second left a pit in Lorash's stomach. She almost collided with Eso as she walked, head still turned towards the bay.

The pilot flashed her a quick, if distracted, smile. "Oh, uh, you're up. Good. We're leaving."

"Already?"

He shrugged. "Seia said we should head for, uh, Cantonica. We have that dossier from Zul still." Eso looked more resigned than eager to do Imperial bidding.

"Do we have to leave so soon?" Lorash asked softly.

Eso sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "The longer we're here, the more risk we put the locals at. I think we, uh, owe the nautolans enough courtesy not to bring Imperial eyes onto their hiding place."

"Haven't we done that already?"

"Yyrfh spoofed the transmitter, making it look like we're a few worlds over. It won't last, though," Eso explained. "Given we're in poorly charted space to begin with, uh, I doubt they'll have visitors if we head out now."

Lorash lowered her voice slightly. "What about Seia?"

Eso shrugged awkwardly, eyeing Lorash with some trepidation. "I mean, she's, uh, awake and moody. That's about the best we can, uh, expect. Given the glare I got this morning when I asked if she was feeling, uh, well enough…I'd say she's back to form."

Even dreading it, Lorash knew she needed to talk to Seia about the night before. "I'll go check in with her."

"Uh, well, uh, good luck. We're lifting off in a few minutes, so if you're gonna get yourself tossed out an airlock, do it now." Eso scurried off towards the bridge, no doubt for a last systems check before lifting. She heard him open the channel to Engineering where Yyrfh was probably working through his hangover as he hit the cockpit, just past the kitchen from the stairs down into the cargo bay.

Lorash wasn't exactly full of confidence after that comment, but she headed down into the bay anyway, making her way towards the heavy bag that she could hear swinging on its chain from Seia's blows.

Even just flowing around an essentially stationary target without her lightsaber, Seia moved like a force of nature, every inch of motion designed to generate power and speed. Each punch or kick landing rocked the bag. There was no accident or misstep to her movements. The sith was clearly connected to her body with a reality that even most trained combatants could never achieve and Lorash wasn't certain if that was the relentlessness of her personality or her connection to the Force. Conflict raged around the sith this morning, outbursts of aggression and anger felt like flashes of lightning in a boiling thunderhead. Seia's expression was no less savage, teeth bared as she battered at the bag in a merciless offensive, muscles rippling and flexing like a springing panther's.

It was hard not to shrink back from the violence, even with Lorash's training to stay calm and her experience with Seia so far, especially given the malevolent satisfaction she could feel behind every blow that slammed into the bag. Seia was never still, always in motion, always attacking. It reminded Lorash of the battle with Dren, where Seia hadn't allowed him even a second to breathe or formulate a counterattack.

"What do you want?" Seia said as she hit again with a right cross into the bag, attention never wavering from her target.

Lorash wasn't surprised. Seia always paid attention to what was behind her, even if she seemed otherwise engrossed. "I came to talk to you."

Seia stilled the bag and turned. Her breathing was harsh, but steady. If Lorash had to guess, the sith had probably been training for most of the morning so far, if she was showing any sign of slowing down…not that she wanted to bet that the sith was feeling anything in the way of fatigue. Bruising started at her split lip and darkened down to the point of her chin, but other than that she seemed her usual self. It was hard to know if the shadows near her golden eyes were a sleepless night or a hint of dark side corruption seeping through. "So talk," the sith said.

There was a sting to the indifference in Seia's voice, particularly since it was impossible for Lorash to tell if it was genuine or feigned. Other than the anger just on display, Seia was as transparent as granite and about as welcoming. "I'm sorry about last night," Lorash said anyway, wishing her voice didn't sound quite as small or daunted. "About lashing out."

Seia crossed her arms, expression unchanging. "Your form still leaves much to be desired. It was the bite of a gnat."

Lorash rallied, even knowing the sith's comment was not meant to be flattering or anything kinder than a brush off. "I don't just mean the fist, Seia."

"You want my forgiveness for what, showing some spine?" Seia's lips twitched for a moment, like the words themselves tasted bitter. "I appreciate the clarity of knowing where we stand."

Again, Lorash felt herself standing on the outside of Seia's walls, the connection between them intentionally cut and left to wither. "Seia, that's not what that was. I don't want you to shut me out."

Now irritation visibly flashed across the sith's expression, her lips pressing into a grim line. Seia uncrossed her arms and closed the distance between them, stopping just within arm's reach. "I do not particularly care for your apology, nor that desire, jedi," Seia said bluntly. "I will honor my agreement to train you. That is all."

Lorash pulled in a deep breath, centering herself through the feelings of hurt. As much as she hated the feeling of rejection and the pain of having her attempt to repair things rebuffed, she knew it was likely a mirror of Seia's own feelings. "So what does that make us?"

The indifference returned to Seia's expression. "What we have always been: allies of convenience. You will have your opportunity to leave on Cantonica. The arms dealer has rebel sympathies, lest you have forgotten."

"I said I wouldn't leave you," Lorash said firmly, meeting Seia's gaze head on. "I meant it."

The sith seemed to take it as a challenge, anger surfacing again. "I would rather have your absence than your inconsistencies," Seia spat.

Lorash felt her own temper flare at that, an unfamiliar anger flooding through her. "I could say the same to you," she said sharply. "You said you wouldn't make me break that promise."

"By giving you to Zul. Your master, however, is more than welcome to you."

When Seia went to turn away, Lorash ignored the danger she knew was brewing. She caught Seia by the front of her shirt and pulled the sith back to face her. "I'm staying. If you hate me, fine, but I'm staying."

Seia plucked the jedi padawan's hand off her shirt with ease, twisting just enough to grind the bones in Lorash's hand together painfully without doing any actual damage. "Touch me again and you will regret it," Seia warned, eyes flashing that same brilliant orange that Lorash had seen in the ruins and in the light of the fire the night before.

Lorash couldn't find her normal meekness anywhere in herself, not with the loss of connection she could feel stinging in her eyes. The moment Seia let go of her hand, she caught the sith's collar and leaned in, lips colliding with Seia's.

There was no recoil of pain. Instead, she felt Seia's fingers dig into her hips, holding her close. Is this what you want, Lorash? The sith's presence, dark and roiling with conflicted emotions, seemed to surround her as the kiss burned and deepened. You want me to ruin you? To use you and then cast you aside?

Instead of answering, Lorash intentionally dropped the walls around her own thoughts and let all of her jumbled emotions come spilling out. The fear of the dream, the longing for connection, the anxiety around losing Seia because of her own mistakes: Lorash let her feelings flow uncensored in a torrent of chaos that felt very much against every one of her teachings. Lorash even let the conflict between everything she'd been taught and everything that Seia stirred up play out without trying to hide it. She threaded her fingers into Seia's hair as she did, stopping the sith from pulling away.

The kiss softened against her lips and she felt Seia's hands loosen slightly, though they didn't let go. For a moment, they just stayed stock still as the sith processed everything in the flood.

Then Seia recoiled away like she'd been burned, leaving Lorash with a taste of copper. The sith's wound had reopened, a bright welling of blood on her split lip. "Why did you show me this?" Seia demanded, golden eyes narrowed.

"Because I wanted you to understand," Lorash said, forcing herself to sit openly in the pain of Seia's suspicion. She could feel the sith closing behind walls again and this time it was an agony doubly worse with everything left exposed. "Seia, please, this hurts." She braced herself for the sith to pull away again even as she said it, however, dropping her gaze.

There was a long moment where Seia said nothing and the distance between them seemed to extend into endlessness.

Lorash felt her eyes welling and turned around, shutting away the vulnerability that she'd just exposed. Before she could step away, arms slipped around her from behind and she felt herself pulled back against Seia's body. This time, the sith put her chin against Lorash's shoulder. It wasn't the seduction on the beach, but something else altogether.

"We are going to destroy each other," Seia said quietly, thumb brushing against Lorash's ribs in a slow, soothing stroke. "That is the only way this ends."

The jedi padawan brought a hand up, burying her fingers in Seia's hair again. "I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

Seia's hands ran up and down her sides, soothing instead of taunting. "I want you until then, Lorash," she said quietly, turning the younger woman to face her. "But not this hot and cold. I want your promise to be more than empty air."

Lorash saw far more pain and understanding in Seia's expression than she'd expected. For a moment, she had a glimpse of the sith's real thoughts, even without pulling on her sense in the Force: the depths of Seia's feelings and the awareness that they could never be reciprocated with the same intensity by a jedi.

Seia wasn't asking her to choose, and that in and of itself was a choice on the sith's part. No matter how selfish the sith wanted to be, how tightly she wanted to hold, there was something in her that refused to crush the light and life out of Lorash.

When you give the freedom to choose, you accept the reality that they may choose something you hate.

The sith warrior was and wasn't the woman that Nabeila had seen. Even with the Dark Side the only thing she had ever really known, guided by a code antithetical to Lorash's, Seia was willing to offer her that freedom knowing it would rip her own heart to atoms.

Lorash kissed her much more gently, trying to be aware of the fact that the gesture would cause Seia pain even while she wanted to promise closeness. "Until the end," she said quietly when they broke apart. As much as she wanted to avoid the reality she could see in the sith's expression, she held Seia's gaze when she made her promise.

Seia nodded slightly and brought her forehead to rest against Lorash's. In a strange way, this felt closer than they had ever been, even without fingers or lips touching bare skin. The ship lurched beneath their feet as Eso hit the jump to hyperspace, but neither of them flinched or pulled away.

"We should take care of your lip," Lorash said when she heard the pilot start to rummage around in the kitchen, probably starting breakfast. "I made it worse."

Seia sighed and reluctantly loosened her grip. "As you wish."