Part One- Priestess
Running. Our feet echoed along the corridor as we ran. The children following me tried to keep quiet, tried to hide their fear but a small whimper escaped from a few mouths. Screaming filled the air of the temple corridors.
"Stay quiet," I whispered to the children in a quiet plea. Hybern wouldn't spare them if they found us. They wouldn't spare anyone.
We reached the kitchen and I lifted up the trapdoor. "Get in quickly," I whispered.
The children followed my orders, one-by-one sliding through the trapdoor and into the catacomb tunnels below. I tried to hurry them, tried to get them in as quickly as I could.
I was sweating now, my heart hammering against my ribcage like it might break free. My stomach was clenched but I tried to keep focused. They needed to get out. Now.
I could hear the soldiers. Closer. Closer. Close.
The last child slid inside the trapdoor and I quickly slid the rug over the top, hiding it, hiding their presence. Then I grabbed the kitchen table and used as much strength as I had to pull it over the top, protecting them.
The kitchen door swung open, the wood slamming against the stone wall and sending a shudder through the building. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at the soldiers. The sound of screaming seemed to have stopped but my eyes moved to the other priestesses being held by soldiers. I swallowed as I noticed Catrin, my dear sister, among them. How did we end up here? What were the soldiers even looking for?
A commander walked in, his smile feral as he looked at me. "Where are the others?" He asked, his voice harsh, rough.
"I… I don't know," I lied.
"TELL ME!" His voice commanded and I resisted the urge to look down at the ground.
"The children have taken the mountain road to get help."
"LIES!" He grabbed Catrin and I stepped forward, earning another feral smile from him. "If you don't tell me where they are, I will kill her."
I could hear my heartbeat. Wondered how it was so beating. Wondered how I was still standing.
And then… the blade swung and I cried out as Catrin's head fell to the ground, no longer attached to her body. Her blood splattered across the wall and my nightgown.
I sat up in bed panting, trying to calm myself down. I was covered in sweat but I tried to focus on the faelight on the wall, reminding me where I was. My room in the library carved into the mountainside. I glanced over at the white ribbon tied to my chair, and the dagger atop the seat. Valkyrie, I reminded myself. Never again would I let any innocents suffer the same fate. I'd survived the Blood Rite after all. On the table with the wash basin sat the box, the one which contained the small necklace chain that held the stained glass rose, a gift from a friend on solstice.
I'd not taken it out of the box. I wondered if perhaps it was because I knew I didn't deserve something so wonderful.
That night in the temple when my purity had been ripped away by the General and I'd nearly been forced upon by several others. Of course it had been the Shadowsinger who had found me covered in my sister's blood and a torn nightgown, wrapped me in a cloak and brought me back to of Starlight.
Why me? Why did I deserve to be safe when Catrin…
I shook my head and tried to calm my breathing again. I'd been telling myself to give the gift to another priestess, to say thank you but no thank you. That whole Solstice had been usual, from the gift to seeing the Shadowsinger in the training ring when I'd preferred to train over facing my nightmares. I'd not faced him alone, not since the night in the training ring when he'd looked so… flustered. His cheeks had been red and I knew he'd lied about looking for his favourite dagger. But why?
The room was coming more into focus and I walked over to the wash basin and splashed cold water on my face. Without windows in my room, it was hard to tell what time of day it was, but I knew I needed to feel the cool air on my face. It was funny that after so many months in the mountain, I'd now found myself needing fresh air.
I dressed quickly in the outfit I usually wore for training- some leggings and a short tunic, a far cry from the Illyrian leathers that Nesta had been wanting to redesign just for the Valkyries- sheathed my dagger and headed up the winding stairs, up to the training ring. It was still dark and cool, but not cold enough to see my breath. I glanced up at the sky ahead, the stars twinkling down on me, the constellations watching, waiting.
I often wondered if Catrin and my mother were in those stars, looking down, looming. Perhaps they'd seen my journey, the one written in the chapter book in Merrill's office. I watched for a while, keeping my breathing even as the sky turned lighter.
"Did Nesta not tell you that I've given you all a few days off?" Cassian's voice made me turn my head. He was dressed in his usual black training attire, wrapping bandages around his hand.
"Oh… right, of course." I blinked and got to my feet, brushing the sand off of me. Tomorrow was their extravagant mating ceremony which the High Lord had been planning.
"Are you okay?" Cassian asked.
"Yes," I lied, "I'm fine." I pushed my hair back from my face and plastered the best fake smile on my face I could, aware that Cassian probably could see right through it. "Is Nesta up yet?"
"No," replied Cassian, "But she did say she was looking forward to her… female party later."
Yes, the other priestesses in the library had helped me to gather information on human wedding traditions and we'd found out that the female friends and families of the bride traditionally spend the night before the wedding with her and celebrate together, so Emerie and I had decided this is what we'd do for Nesta. Some places had called it a 'hen party'.
"Good," I quickly excused myself, just as the Shadowsinger arrived, landing from the sky with his wings flared and in a drop so silent it could have been a cat landing. He acknowledged me with a bow of the head before I disappeared back to the library.
—-
I placed the flower crown atop my head and smoothed out the silvery dress I'd chosen to wear for the evening. Elain sat across from me as she placed the last of the iced cakes on the table at the House of Wind.
"These are beautiful," I told her, pointing to the flower crowns. "Did you grow the flowers yourself?"
"Yes, they're from the garden," Elain smiled.
"Everything looks great," Feyre told her and Morrigan nodded in agreement. Emerie blushed as Morrigan passed her a flower crown and I nudged her with my knee under the table, earning a glare.
"What…" Nesta's eyes were wide as she walked in to find us all smiling at her.
"Surprise!" We chorused.
"What is this?" Nesta asked, blinking as she took in the flower crowns, the cakes and the wine.
"Your hen party," I grinned, hurrying over and placing a white flower crown on the top of her head. "I've heard it's an important tradition in the human lands."
Nesta's eyes glimmered, watery. "Thank you everyone… I'm not sure I deserve this."
"Nonsense," Elain shook her head, "It's been a hard year, you definitely deserve this."
I'd never really been a wine drinker. Every now and then in the temples we'd have wine, especially during Rites and the Solstice, but being at a party… well it was a whole new experience. I supposed things had changed since I'd met Nesta and Emerie and our lives had taken a different turn. Alongside the training, I'd started to read romance novels instead of just the historical and religious texts I was used to reading in the library.
"Do you like living down in the library?" Morrigan asked me, her voice a little slurred. Amren, who still made me feel a little on edge, rolled her eyes at her.
"Isn't it a little… dark?" Elain added with a shudder.
"Yes, but it's safe," I replied, taking another sip of wine. "And I suppose that's what made it homely."
"But don't you miss the outdoors?" Elain threw her hands in the air. "The flowers, the sun on your face…"
"I do a little," I admitted. "I didn't but since training… yes I do miss it."
"Do you think you'd ever live somewhere else?" Her fawn coloured eyes were soft as she looked at me.
"I'm not sure," I replied, honestly, "I guess I've never really thought about it."
"Give Gwyn a break," Nesta said, "I'd like to dance."
"I'd like to play a game!" Morrigan announced, clapping her hands together. "How about, Never have I ever!"
Feyre and Amren both groaned and I watched as the High Lady held her face in her hands, shaking her head. Nesta smiled a cunning smile as Morrigan beamed.
"What is… Never have I ever?" Emerie asked and I was grateful that she had no idea what they were talking about either.
Morrigan crossed a leg over and sat forwards. "You simply state something you've never done and then anyone else who's done it has to drink."
"Is this what happens when I don't go to Rita's?" Amren shook her head and rolled her eyes as Morrigan stuck out her tongue.
"I'm not drunk enough for this and unfortunately I can't be," Feyre shook her head. "I need to get back to Nyx before feeding time."
"Spoilsport." Morrigan said and our High Lady winked.
"See you all tomorrow," She said before she disappeared out of the double doors, summoned her wings and flew into the night.
—-
Later that night I curled up on one of the single beds that had been dragged into Nesta's room so that Emerie and I could sleepover. In the fireplace, the fire burned silently, leaving a gentle glow in the room as we curled under the blankets in our nightgowns.
"You know, you could sleep in one of the guest rooms," Nesta said with a smug look.
"I believe I read that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony," I laughed softly.
""It's also to stop the bride losing her virtue before the wedding," Nesta fired back, "And I believe it's a bit late for that."
Emerie snorted, "You don't say."
"Your mate gets you every night, he needs to learn to share," I declared.
"Sounds like one of the books I've been reading," Emerie smirked and looked over at me. "How did you find the last book I gave you? Too much?"
"Well let's just say I'm glad the other priestesses don't ask me about what I've read lately." I fanned my face and the others laughed.
Filled with cake and wine, we all fell asleep shortly after that, with the sound of silence filling the air. The fireplace burnt on, warming and lighting the room as I drifted off into a deep slumber.
"You'll do," The General said as he held me against the table and lifted my nightgown. I squirmed in his grip as the tears rolled down my cheeks, nausea building.
"Let go!" I cried but my voice came out as a strangled cry. I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight as he held my throat with one hand and unbuttoned his trousers with the other. He reached towards me-
I sat upright in bed, tears burning my cheeks, my skin clammy and my breathing past. I was going to be sick. I hurried from Nesta's bedroom as quietly as I could, making my way to the bathroom and barely getting there in time. The contents of my stomach were gone, my stomach aching from the impact. I pushed myself upright and washed my face and the back of my neck with cold water, sobering myself, reminding myself that I was at the House of Wind with my friends. It was the day of Nesta's Mating Ceremony. Something wonderful was happening today to one of my best friends. I couldn't change the past but I could help the future.
I walked out of the bathroom blurry eyed and straight into a solid object. A muscled chest, I realised, that was covered with a black t-shirt. I stumbled backwards and looked up at the Shadowsinger standing before me.
"Sorry," I whispered, "I wasn't looking where I was going."
"It's okay," He replied. The unsaid words were there in his eyes. Are you okay? But they weren't spoken. Perhaps because he knew I wasn't. My eyes were no doubt red, my breathing was still quick, my skin still feeling clammy.
I felt a shadow drape itself around my arm, in a soft, calming gesture and I noticed Azriel held a scarred hand out towards me for a brief moment before the shadow retreated and so did his hand. He broke eye contact with me and I walked back up the corridor, back to Nesta's bedroom.
