There were plenty of days when I was bored and had nothing to do but roam around the palace on my own. I normally played with my sisters, but they all were either studying or they were entertaining themselves. Nobody felt much like socializing today, except me.
I took myself down to the kitchens, knowing full well that there would be people there. It always fascinated me to watch them work. I sometimes wished I could join them. It wasn't that it looked fun exactly which intrigued me, but rather that it was so normal. My life was anything but normal, so it always fascinated me to watch normal people go about their everyday business.
There was also a boy there who was part of my interest. He was around my age and I don't know why he was working when he was so young. But he and I had locked eyes a few times, and I felt like we shared a secret that no one else in the world new. I didn't even know what that secret was myself, but he captivated me from day one, and if I was allowed to go up to him and talk with him, I totally would. He had also never made a move to come and speak to me though, so I reckoned he knew his place in the damned hierarchy.
Today, I could not see him in the kitchen though as I peeked through the kitchen door. The chefs normally pretended like I wasn't there, as they had no doubt been instructed to do. When I turned around disappointedly though, I ran straight into him! We knocked into each other, and I fell on the floor rather unceremoniously. He immediately held out his hand to help me up, but then as soon as he had, he withdrew it. I knew he wasn't allowed to help me, but I said pointedly, "Actually, I would rather like a hand up."
The boy looked at me dubiously- like he wanted to help but he was pretty sure he'd get in trouble for it. His want to help me must have taken over as the next minute, he held out his hand politely and I apologized profusely, "I'm terribly sorry, your highness. I hope you have come to no harm." he said and then he bowed deeply. I wanted to tell him to stop being so formal and to ignore the rules. Instead, I swallowed and said, "That's quite alright…uh…" He smiled as I didn't know his name, "Dmitri," he supplied. I nodded quickly, so pleased I finally knew his name. I grinned at him, "Not at all, Dmitri. I don't suppose you know who I am?" He blushed furiously and said throatily, "Yes, Grandduchess Anastasia, ma'am. I am not meant to be talking to you, so if you'll excuse me."
He tried to return to the kitchen, but now that the doors had been opened up for conversation, I wasn't about to let him escape that easily. I grinned, "Dmitri is such a nice name." He blinked at me in shock and said feebly, "I'm sorry, your highness, but I need to return to my job…"
I shook my head and stood in his path, "But I'm bored and am in need of some…entertainment." Dmitri raised his eyebrows in surprise, "And you think I can give you entertainment?" He said this in such a shocked manner that I couldn't help but find it cute. He mumbled under his breath, "I'm sorry, your highness, but I really need to get back now."
At that exact moment, the head chef came out to see where Dmitri was no doubt. He discovered him conversing with me and grabbed him by his worn collar, shaking him furiously, "Dmitri! What do you think you're doing? You know better than this! I'm so tired of catching you sneaking glances at the princess! That's bad enough! But now you actually had the audacity to seek conversation with her! Shame on you." I tried to interrupt his tirade, but he didn't stop. He threw Dmitri down forcefully and then slapped him across the face with the back of his hand. Dmitri barely flinched, but he seemed humiliated. I stood in front of the boy before he could endure anymore physical abuse from the psycho, "Pardon me, but if you dare lay a hand on him again, I will tell my father about this incident. He will not be pleased to hear how horribly you mistreat some of your workers." The chef laughed at me and by now had caught some of the other workers' attention as they were all watching. He chuckled, "Well, princess, you see I don't think you father cares about the worthless lowlife over there. He has more important things on his mind." I glared at him furiously, "He might not care, but if I care I'm sure he will." Clearly the chef hadn't thought about this, so he shut up and turned his back on me with a huff.
Dmitri turned to me and said slowly, "Thank you , your highness. But I must really go back and work." I nodded and sighed, "Alright then. I will get permission from my parents to visit you." He jolted in surprise and I was chuffed that I had managed to surprise him so, "Princess, that's not allowed. I'm going back now." He turned and darted back into the kitchen. I was going to make it my personal mission to get permission from mamma to allow me to talk with him. I knew mamma was the easier target. The chef was right. Pappa was too busy being king to worry about trivial things such as this. I would ask mamma tonight when she was putting us to sleep.
XXXXXXX
When the evening came and mamma came to put me to sleep, she sat down beside me and was about to pick up the book she was reading to me when she said, "I heard about what happened in the kitchens today." I swallowed and stared at her, "Well he was being bullied by the main chef, mamma! Someone had to stand up for him." Mamma sighed, "I know, Anastasia. But as kind as it was for you standing up for him, you know we're not supposed to communicate with them."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "But why?! It's such a silly rule and…" My mother interrupted, "Anastasia, it is not up for negotiation. Let's read." She had put an end to the conversation before I had even gotten a word in. For the entire ten minutes she read to me, I did not concentrate on her voice one word. I was instead daydreaming about a kitchen boy with messy clothes, dark hair and brown eyes.
While she was reading, she glanced up and watched me carefully. I hadn't even noticed until she sighed, "Anastasia, you're not paying attention!" I blinked slightly and turned to her, "Hmmm? Sorry mamma?" She sighed and closed the book, "Your mind is clearly elsewhere. And if it is on that kitchen boy, so help me Anastasia, you will give me far too many grey hairs." She placed the book down and I said carelessly, "A girl can dream, mamma." She stood up so that she towered over me, "Not about someone below them. It is foolish. Goodnight." She blew out the candles and left me in the dark with nothing but my thoughts of Dmitri to preoccupy me.
Dmitri:
The Princess had actually spoken to me. I couldn't really believe it! It was the talk of the kitchen for the rest of the day- how she had specifically asked my name and, not only that, but she wanted to meet with me again! I could have floated around the kitchen, cleaning the floor from up in the air, I was so elated!
I couldn't wipe the silly grin off my face all day, and it bothered Shef-povar. He commented about it consistently, "Dmitri, wipe that silly grin off your face. Her highness was merely bored, and that's the only reason she communicated with you. Don't expect it to happen again."
When we were packing up that night, I was the last person still left scrubbing the dishes. The rest of the cooks had finished up and headed out to go and drink together at some local pub. I stayed until I had finished every last piece- as I had been instructed. Most nights were like this. I spent hours washing dishes or scrubbing floors after the royalty had gone to bed. It was fine by me. It's how I earned my keep and a place to sleep at night. My father who had died in a battle with the Bolsheviks had known one of the kitchen staff and begged her to get me a job at the palace. She had been obligated.
So now here I was, dreaming while I slaved away, of the next time the princess spoke to me. What was my fascination with her specifically anyway? She was beautiful, true. She was rich, and I found that to be mesmerizing. Was she terribly kind? I don't know. I didn't know much about her beyond her wealth and her beauty, but still there was something so alluring about her…maybe it's because not in a million years would I stand a chance with her. She was someone who I desperately wanted but couldn't ever have.
I heard a knock on the door and just about jumped out of my wits. The princess stood in the doorway, clad in a long, silk nightgown. I blinked at her stupidly and she smiled, "Dmitri, would you like some help?" I jumped backwards and stammered, "Er…n…no thank you, princess. I'm quite alright here." She raised her eyebrows at me disbelievingly, "Really? Because it looks like to me you are busy washing dishes all on you own. And it is now…" She glanced at the kitchen clock, "Nine o clock in the evening. And you still have at least thirty more to do."
I was becoming nervous that she was seeking me out. This wasn't allowed. It was against the rules. Then why did it feel so…normal? I swallowed hard and whispered, "If you get caught helping me, won't your highness be in trouble?" There was a second's pause and then she murmured, "Well we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I was about to protest again and she sighed dramatically, "Dmitri, you aren't going to deny me, are you?" She batted her eyelids at me and I knew there and then that I shouldn't be stupid enough to accept her offer of help…but her flirtations were too hard to say no to. I mumbled, "Do you know how to clean, princess?"
She looked flummoxed, and I knew the answer right away. Although she then pretended that she knew, "I have been taught yes." I couldn't help but smirk at her, "Really? Well come and try it then." I stood back and allowed her to take over. She stared blankly at the sink and I couldn't help but chuckle, "Princess, clearly you have never cleaned a dish in your life." She sighed and relented, "Fine! I haven't. Are you happy now?" I shrugged my shoulders, "No, but I want to help you." I stood beside her and showed her how it's done. She was silently scrubbing until she said slowly, "I…I kind of like it. It's relaxing." This made me laugh, "Really? Well you can have my job any day." This caused her to laugh a lot too and it suddenly struck me that I had never seen the princess quite so happy. She laughed when her family was around, sure. But when there were other strangers, she was rather solemn. I wondered if that was because she was forced to be like that or what the reasons might be. I heard her whisper so softly that I might have imagined it, "Sometimes I wish I could."
A clearing of the throat caused us to both jump in surprise. I cringed as I turned to see the Tsarina standing at the door of the kitchen, looking rather stern and glaring at her daughter, "Anastasia Romanov! What did I tell you about this boy?! I am ashamed of you for sneaking off to him! You should know better."
Then she rounded on me and I felt like I was being stared at by the Tsar himself as I quivered and removed myself from her by several steps. The Tsarina smiled coldly at me and whispered in a deadly voice, "You, boy, will be spending the next little while in the dungeon!" Anastasia cried out in protest, "No Mamma! Please don't! He tried to stop me. It's my fault. If you want to throw anyone in the dungeon it should be me!" Her mother turned to her and said icily, "Well Anastasia, you clearly don't care about yourself being punished, and so he will have to suffer the consequences."
I sighed, knowing that arguing this was futile. I should have gone with my gut feeling and said no. Telling her no would have not made me end up in this mess. The Tsarina said seriously, "I'm going to fetch the guards and order them to take the boy down to dungeon."
Anastasia tried pleading with her mother but she held back when her mother shot such a glare at her that she didn't dare argue. I watched the queen leave and then Anastasia turned to me, tears starting to form in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Dmitri! I didn't think that she would actually do anything about it! She is often so full of empty threats and…" I let her ramble, but I knew how this would end for me. I knew the Tsarina did not give empty threats to anyone, except maybe her children. Everyone else was treated in the exact same appalling manner where the threats were very, very real. Anastasia tried reaching out to me, moving closer, and I took several steps back before whispering, "I think you should leave."
The princess tried protesting but then her mother's voice echoed from behind her, "Anastasia, go to your room and stay there." She turned and fled from the room, sobs echoing down the hallway. The Tsarina stared me down like I was an unwanted fly on the wall. She said firmly, "I will not punish you as I suspect it was my daughter who sought you out in the first place. But, if I ever see you with her again, I will make sure you are out of this castle before you can blink, understood?"
I nodded repetitively and the Tsarina turned and walked away. I sighed in utmost relief and I knew that if the princess ever came looking for me again, so help her I would not be so kind. She could ruin me with one breath, and I was not about to jeopardize my free bed and the leftover meals that I had to survive on just because she needed some entertainment.
