Chapter 13

Lisa

I pull Jennie closer, pressing my lips against the side of her neck. I'm half asleep and fighting it. As much as I need sleep, I want to soak up every minute of this as I can. Who knows what the morning will bring. Or even the moment we get out of bed.

I kissed Jennie.

Felt Jennie.

Touched every inch of her. Fucked her. Finally. After years of wanting and waiting for the time to come, it did. I think back to Bambam and what he said about idealizing sleeping with Jennie. How there's no way the real thing could be as good as what I've imagined in my mind.

He had a good point. Often, when you want something so bad and it's so out of reach, you romanticize it, make it seem better than it ever can be. I thought that was the case with Jennie.

But it couldn't be further from the truth.

There's no fucking her out of my system. There's no spending one night with her and being able to move on with my life. In fact, it's only making me want her more, because everything was better than I could have imagined. Physically, I've never had more satisfying sex in my life. I've never come so hard, never felt an orgasm so deep through every part of me.

I used to think it was lame when I'd hear someone say there's a difference between fucking and making love. It's all the same in a sense, right? I would have sworn that to be true until a few minutes ago.

I fucked Jennie good. She'll feel it in the morning. Thinking about my cock in her tight, wet pussy arouses me. We definitely fucked hard.

But there was something more to it. I can't quite place it, yet at the same time, I'm terrified it'll slip away. We connected on a different level, and that's how I know there's a transcendental difference between the two.

Jennie rolls over, sliding her hand across my chest. She wiggles closer and rests her head on my shoulder. I brush her hair out of her face and pull the blanket up, keeping us covered.

Running my hand up and down her arm, I suddenly feel anxious. I haven't been in a relationship in a while, though ever since I met Jennie all those years ago, I've had a hard time committing to anyone.

It wasn't her, and I was painfully aware of it every single day.

I've had my share of casual sex, and while leaving after has been awkward a time or two, it's never been like this. There's more on the line than being embarrassed or doing the walk of shame.

I finally hooked up with Jennie, and I don't want our first time to be our only time. Jennie runs her nails up and down my side, further relaxing me. My eyes fall shut and my head turns to the side, face buried in Jennie's hair. Everything about her is intoxicating, from the smell of her shampoo to the way her body feels, naked and pressed up against mine.

"Lisa?" she whispers, not lifting her head off my shoulder. "Are you asleep?"

For a brief moment, I panic, which isn't like me at all. I'm a surgeon, for fuck's sake. I don't panic. Don't freak out. I can maintain a level head and think clearly in stressful situations. But Jennie…she's doing something to me, and suddenly I'm worried she's going to tell me this was a mistake and I should leave.

"Kind of," I mumble.

"I wasn't sure." She slowly starts to pull out of my arms. Shit. I brace myself. This is it. The moment she tells me Jinwoo will have my head and we need to pretend this never happened. The moment I go back to wanting her so bad it hurts, but only worse now because I know how good she feels.

"I have to pee."

"Oh." I move my arms. "Okay." I sit up, kissing her on the lips before she gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she comes out, wearing a short satin bathrobe with no panties underneath.

"Do you want anything to eat?" She climbs back into bed, going right back to my arms. I grab her around the waist and pull her on top of me. Her legs go around mine, and dammit, I'm getting hard.

"Again?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. She kisses my neck and wiggles her hips.

And now my semi is a boner. "You're so fucking hot, Jennie. And—" I stop, not sure how to even word it. Instead, I kiss her, soft and tender. She lets out a quiet moan and presses her core against me.

"And now I want to again."

She doesn't need to say anymore. I flip her over and move on top. The tip of my cock rubs against her, and she bucks her hips, repeating the motion. I reach down, taking hold of my cock in my hand, and rub it over her clit. Her mouth opens and she keeps one hand on my shoulder, bending her fingers and digging her nails into my skin. She's still hot and sensitive from before. It doesn't take long before she comes, and as soon as she does, I move my cock down, guiding it into her entrance.

I push in balls deep. She's so tight around me and it feels so fucking good. I thrust in and out a few times before Jennie plants her hands on my chest and shoves me away. I pull out, eyes wide and dick aching to be back inside of her. She sits up, breasts rising and falling from breathing hard, and pushes me down onto the mattress.

Then she climbs on top. She wraps her slender fingers around my cock, and the sight alone is enough to make me want to nut right there. Looking down at my cock in her hand, Jennie's lips part and she flicks her eyes to mine before guiding me inside of her.

She leans forward as she moves, hair falling into my face. I hold onto her, watching her breasts bounce, relishing in how fucking good this feels. She slows down, then starts circling her hips at the same time.

I didn't think I'd be able to come so fast after just having sex, but it's different this time. Jennie feels fucking amazing around me, and being with her—finally being with her—feels so damn right.

Jennie sits up, and the new angle pushes me over the edge. She's getting close to coming again as well, but there's no way I can stop myself. Not when it feels so good. Her mouth opens and she lets out a moan and dammit, she's right there. I grit my teeth and lift my hips, doing everything I can to hold back until she finishes.

"I'm so close," she pants as if she can read my mind. Then she falls forward, tits in my face, and I can't help it. I bury my cock inside her, coming hard for the second time tonight. Jennie presses down, widening her legs even more, and my pulsing cock hits her in the right spot. Her pussy tightens around me—and fuck—the end of the orgasm feels as good at the start.

"Wow," Jennie pants, rolling off me. We both lay there, breathing hard. Her hand is on the bed next to mine, and I twist my wrist and interlace our fingers. We stay like that for a few minutes, until Jennie turns her head.

"Are you hungry?"

"A little," I tell her. "You?"

"Yeah. What do you want to eat?"

"Anything, really. What do you have?"

"I don't know." She lets out a breath, turning in to face me. "I can't really think straight right now."

"Yeah, I know I'm good," I say with a teasing smile. Jennie laughs and rolls over, hooking her leg over mine. I clasp my hand on the back of her thigh. There's no way I'm letting this be our last time.

No. Fucking. Way.

I'll fight for her. Do whatever it takes.

Because I'm in love with this woman.

"Stay here," I tell her. "I'm not the best cook, but I'll make you something."

"You don't have to, Lis."

I kiss her. "I know."

Getting out of bed, I grab my boxers from the floor, missing Jennie's body against mine already. I resituate the blanket around her, kiss her once more, and go into the kitchen. It feels slightly invasive to look through her drawers and cabinets. Everything is more or less well organized, and it doesn't take long until I find a pan and ingredients to make grilled cheese.

It's not fancy by any means, but I already knew there was no hope of impressing Jennie with my cooking skills. The cats watch me cook, and I give them each a little piece of cheese, which was like opening Pandora's box. They won't leave me alone now.

I turn off the burner and put the second sandwich on a plate when Jennie comes out of the bedroom. She's still wearing the bathrobe, but this time she has on shorts and a tank top, made out of the same satin material. Her hair is a mess and her cheeks are still flushed.

Seeing her like that is a huge turn on, and it does more than make me want to strip her and fuck her all over again. It makes me want to have this every night. Fucking Jennie into oblivion. Bringing her something to eat.

Being together.

"I love grilled cheese," she says with a smile.

"I remember." I slide the plates to the opposite side of the island counter where we can sit on the high-backed bar stools. "Cheese and Chinese food are your favorite. Not necessarily together, though now I'm wondering what fried rice would taste like topped with cheese."

"I've never tried it." She gets the water bottles from the living room, coming back and sitting next to me at the counter. "But now I want to."

"Maybe for breakfast," I joke and Jennie laughs.

"Thanks for making me a sandwich."

"You're welcome, though it was easy."

She takes a few bites, looking from her food to me every few seconds. "So…it's late," she says after she's eaten half her sandwich.

"It is."

"And you have to be up early."

"I do." I swallow the food in my mouth and grab my water, slowly twisting the cap off, and try not to think ahead. I fail. I think and plan ahead by nature. I risk a quick glance at Jennie. She's looking at me at the same time, and we both look away.

How can she be shy around me after two rounds of mind-blowing sex?

"Are you going to stay?" she finally asks.

"Do you want me to stay?" Answering her questions with a question irritates her, I can tell.

Her eyes narrow ever so slightly in a two-can-play-this-game sort of way. "Do you want to stay?"

"Depends on if you want me to."

She purses her lips and leans back with a sigh. I close my eyes in a long blink and look away, hating the tension that's creeping back up on us. I like her. I've liked her for years. Years. So why the fuck is it so hard to tell her that?

She picks the crust off her grilled cheese, neither of us talking. A sleek two colored cat jumps up on the counter, trying to steal food from Jennie's plate. She picks the cat up and puts her down, only to have the cat do the same thing again. And again.

"Luca," Jennie says sternly. "Stay down."

"Luca, Leo, and Lego…your cats name starts with an L?"

"Yeah. The fourth cat is Lily." Jennie gives up and goes to the pantry to give the persistent cat a treat.

The smile comes back to her face, but it's not the same one as before. I'm back to feeling like a jerk and am getting afraid it might be too late. We just had sex—twice—and I'm acting like none of it mattered. If only she knew how much it did. How much it always has.

I finish the rest of my sandwich. "Jennie," I start and turn around. She's back at the counter, picking at her food, but hasn't sat back down yet. She's uncomfortable, thinking I'm looking at this as a one-night stand and is trying hard not to let it show.

"I do want to stay. With you."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

I internally wince. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. Just like I wouldn't have asked you out to dinner if I didn't want to spend time with you." I wipe my hands on a napkin and pick up my plate, taking it to the sink before Luca comes back. My heart thumps inside my chest and I'm cursing myself for putting this distance between us after we'd come so close. I need to fix it.

"You're not going to make me sleep on the couch again, are you?" The second the words come out of my mouth, I wish I could take them back. My failed attempt at a joke makes Jennie's face go slack.

"I, uh, I wasn't going to but, uh…"

"I'm joking," I say and go to her, pulling her into my arms. Her body is stiff against mine, worlds different than how we were not long ago. I'm smart. I got into Duke University School of Medicine for fuck's sake. How is it possible I'm such a complete idiot at the same time?

It's Jennie, and I'm not blaming her for turning me into a bumbling fool whenever I'm around. It's either this or shut her back out.

Fuck.

There was a reason I hated my psych rotation. I'm not good with feelings in general. I'm even worse when it comes to my own.

"I would very much like to sleep in your bed next to you," I tell her, gathering her hair to the side of her neck. With each passing second she doesn't relax, I feel like I'm losing her. "I want to wake up next to you," I say softly, letting the honesty she likes so much come out. "And I'd like to take you out to breakfast. And then dinner again after the conference is over."

"I do like eating."

"Yeah? Me too."

"So much I do it every day. Sometimes multiple times a day." She clasps her hands around my shoulders. "Out of context that could sound a bit dirty."

I kiss her neck, remembering how incredible she looked with her hand between her legs touching herself. "I like thinking about it the dirty way."

Early morning light shines through the large windows in Jennie's bedroom. My alarm sounds and I scramble to turn it off, not wanting to wake up Jennie. She looks fucking adorable in her sleep, buried under her thick blankets. I was hot five minutes after snuggling up with her, but wouldn't change a thing.

Jennie stirs but doesn't open her eyes. She rolls onto her back, hand going up on her pillow above her head. It physically hurts to keep my eyes open, but I want to remember this moment the best I can.

Losing the battle against sleep, I fall back and doze off. What feels like seconds later, the snooze alarm sounds. Blindly, I reach out on the nightstand for it.

"Lisa?" Jennie says quietly, voice thick with sleep. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles when she sees me. "Do you have to get up?"

I slide my arms underneath her and pull her close. Her head rests on my shoulder and she hooks a leg over me.

"I don't have to."

"You can't skip your…your…whatever that thing is."

"I only came here to talk to Dr. Crawford about the fellowship, which I did. He's not there today anyway. I'd rather stay here and give you a thorough medical exam. Hone my skills that way."

"Well, that does sound educational and I'm very willing to help you expand your areas of expertise." She pulls the blankets around her shoulders. "Or go back to sleep. You can do a sleep study on me."

"I like the way that sounds." I let my eyes fall shut, head dropping to the side to rest against Jennie's. All the awkward tension melted away the moment we got into bed together last night. We didn't have sex again, but the moment we laid down together, things felt back to how they should be.

The world feels right when Jennie is in my arms. Her fingertips dance up and down my arm, lulling me back to sleep. And then my snooze alarm goes off again. Dammit. It's a habit to just hit it again instead of turning it off. I didn't actually intend on not showing up to the panels I signed up to attend, but if I 'accidentally' forgot to turn on an alarm, no one could blame me.

Jennie sits up, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I can make you breakfast." She runs her hand down my chest, fingers brushing over the tip of my cock, teasing me on purpose. "Go back to sleep. You didn't get much last night and I kind of feel responsible."

"You didn't get much either."

"Yeah, but I can take a nap after you leave. I'm assuming I'll need my strength for later, right?" She bites her lip, looking so damn sexy.

"Fuck yes." I wrap my arms around her and bring her to me, giving her a quick kiss before she gets out of bed.

"Turn your alarm off. I won't let you oversleep."

I watch Jennie leave, admiring her ass in her short sleeper shorts. With her on my mind, I lay down, falling back asleep in minutes.

"Lisa?"

The mattress sinks down next to me and the sweet smell of maple syrup fills my nose.

"Lisa," Jennie repeats softly.

I open my eyes, and her face is the first thing I see. Yawning, I push myself up. "Breakfast in bed? You know I'm never leaving now, right?"

"That was ultimately my plan. Lure you in with food and sex then hold you hostage and kill you."

I take the tray from Jennie, stomach growling at the sight of the pancakes, bacon, and eggs. "As long as I get to eat all this and fuck you one more time, I'll die a happy man."

Jennie smiles, brushing her hair back. "You said it's over at two?"

"Yeah. Will that work with your kidnapping plan?"

"I was hoping to have you tied up and bleeding by one, but I can delay things a bit. It'll give me more time to get the kill room ready."

"Kill room? You are serious."

"I'm a serious person, Lisa. Which you'll find out later."

I cut into my pancake. "When you kill me?"

"You'll be begging for death by the time I'm done with you."

I laugh and put the piece of pancake in my mouth. They're good. Light and buttery and the exact same recipe Mrs. Kim uses. I used to think it was weird how everything she made was from scratch because what's the point of all that pre-made stuff you can conveniently just add water to if you're not going to use it?

"Want any?" I ask her, seeing as she's not eating.

"No thanks. I don't like eggs, and I already ate a ton of bacon while waiting for the pancakes to finish."

Nodding, I pick up a piece of bacon and pop it into my mouth. Jennie stretches her arms out in front of her and lies back against the pillows.

"When do you go home?"

"Tonight," I say, and the word is like a punch to the gut. "My flight is at five-thirty."

"Oh." Jennie looks down, and we're both thinking the same thing. Our desire for each other smoldered over the years, sparking here and there but never getting hot enough to ignite.

And then it exploded into a wildfire.

The thing about wildfires is they burn bright and they burn hot, but eventually, they die out.