Hii, guys!

I was about to forget posting - I've been out this town this week and I'm so, so tired, but I remembered just in time that today is update day, and I couldn't let myself let you wait, not after I promised you a semi love confession, so here is the new chapter!

Hope you enjoy it!

Lots of love, and see you next time :)


CHAPTER 23 - She wants a date with Dimitri?

Rose's POV

Still, I don't know yet how to start an argument with her. I just walk her way, praying an idea pops into my mind. When I get close enough, I still have nothing.

My luck makes it that she takes care of it, spilling her drink on me, thanks to how wobbly she is. And I really liked this dress. It was from Adrian, so here's one more reason to be pissed.

"Hey, watch it," I grab her by her wrist and shake her. "This dress costs your entire life."

She puffs. "You'd wish, darling."

I thought I would be arguing only with her, but it seems she has a friend who is just as interested in fighting as I am.

The blonde woman that's standing next to us, starts her attack hard.

"You don't even know what expensive means. A woman of your reputation…"

"What would that reputation be?" I have a vague idea she won't be mentioning my reputation for breaking noses.

"I mean, how many things can you afford from an escort salary, huh?"

Thanks to Cathleen's big mouth, I expected this, so I stay put. For now.

"In order for you to insult me, I first must value your opinion. Nice try though." She rolls her overly-blue eyes. "Keep doing that sweetheart, maybe you'll find a brain back there."

"Yeah, because you're so much more intelligent."

"I don't like to brag, but I'm sure somewhere is a tree working very hard to replace the oxygen you consume with all the shit you're saying. You should apologize to it."

"You really think you're smart because you fucked the son and the father to get what you wanted? That's some incest by extension, right? It doesn't sound like you put too much thought into it if you ask me. Plus, it didn't really work, right? Your soon-to-be-husband doesn't want you. He's looking for love in other places, isn't he?"

Well, she hit a sore spot. Remembering how he was bragging earlier, I feel my blood starting to boil.

"Watch your fucking words."

"Oh, you're not so feisty when people know your secrets? You can throw a hissy all you want, it won't change anything that you did. Or that he does. At the end of the day, you're just an expensive whore to him."

"I'm going to break your jaw if you keep talking."

"But it's not like I'm saying something that's not already common knowledge. You throwing a punch won't change it."

Maybe not, but it would make me feel better.

It doesn't take me long to lunge toward her.

Her equally drunk friend predicted it and tried to avert my punch, but all she managed to do was to direct it higher than intended. I don't mind.

"My nose!" the woman squeals and covers her face with her hands.

"Aw, don't hide it. All that blood looks good on you. It brings out your eyes. Let me make more of it."

I expected Dimitri to come, honestly earlier than this, but maybe he was busy. He's not busy anymore, as he drags me off her, but not after I pushed her to the ground and made sure to give her a reason to put a lot of makeup on her left eye in the morning.

"Let go of me! I am going to kill her!"

"You're not killing anyone on my watch."

"Then look away because I am doing it!"

He shakes me back when I struggle to get out of his grip.

"Stop," he says through gritted teeth. "We're leaving right now."

"The fuck we-"

He doesn't wait for me to finish that, he just starts dragging my ass out and to the car.

"Get inside."

When I open my mouth, his expression tells me I should think twice about what I'm going to say.

I decide that saying nothing would be a safe option.

"Is slamming the door necessary?" Mikhail asks as I sit in the backseat.

"Yes, it makes me feel better!"

He turns his head and looks at me. I bet he expected me to be cranky, but not outright furious.

I see the surprise in his eyes as he takes me in, so I look at myself too.

"Don't worry, this blood isn't mine."

"Yeah, good to know," Dimitri intervenes from beside me, and Mikhail knows better than to involve himself in our staring contest. He pulls up the partition and even puts on some music, to let us deal with it.

After Dimitri won this round, I focus on the road outside my window, but he won't stop staring.

"Come on, say it. I'm used to it."

"Say what?"

"I don't know, your usual speech! Why does everything have to be a struggle with you? Why are you like that? Why are you making a scene over nothing, and all that stuff! Call me an ignorant little brat again!"

"I think Ivan would be disappointed in you." I'm not impressed. I don't care about his opinion. "Because I know I am." Ouch. That kind of hurt. Don't ask me why, it just did. "I thought you changed."

"Just because I haven't been the perfect little kissass you all want me to be, that's it? Then fine, be fucking disappointed! I don't care!"

"You can't lose your temper like this every time you get a little upset."

"A little upset?! Did you even hear what she told me?"

"I didn't. But no matter what she told you, you've been acting like a child. The world doesn't revolve around you, Rose. Tonight was supposed to… if you act like that with anyone you meet…" he sighs. "You need these connections, even if it's with people you don't like. You need these people, whether you like it or not. And this isn't how you get people to like you."

"Fine. I'll ask Evette to teach me some more diplomacy."

"Unbelievable," he says shaking his head.

"What? What did I do now?"

"Nothing. You did absolutely nothing."

He stops the car and gets down.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll sit in front."

I laugh. "So you're giving me a timeout? Like to a kid's?"

"If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat."

"Fuck you!"

When I'm all alone in the backseat, I get the time to analyze myself. And I am not talking about my behavior. I still think I'm right. I'm talking about my body, and besides my dress, I notice that one more thing got damaged in this fight. My middle finger is swollen and from the way it starts to hurt, I fear the worst. And I don't know how to deal with something broken.

When we arrive, Dimitri opens the door for me, and after I get down, he starts walking ahead of me, letting Mikhail to guard my ass from afar.

He's still upset, I see. If he'd know the things Ivan did, he'd be upset with him, not with me! But I know he isn't willing to listen to that right now. And I have more pressing matters at the moment.

"Hey. Dim-" I don't think I deserve this term of closeness anymore. "Guardian?"

He stops and turns around, pinning me with a cold stare.

"Yes?"

"I um… I think… well, I…"

"You forgot to speak?" He is harsh. Cold. Just like he thinks I deserve it. "You had plenty to say back there."

"No, I didn't forget to sprak." I actually think I remember a very nice word I'd like to tell him, but I abstain from doing it. "I just… I think I need advice on something."

"You? You need advice from me?" Oh, he's really good at this, isn't he?

"I am not committing to following it. I just want to hear it, okay?"

He sighs. "Why do you have the 'I did a bad thing' face? What did you do now?" the exasperation in his voice is a little amusing. "We just got out of the car, for goodness sake."

"Well, I did, but earlier."

"You very much did."

"And I… well, gotten myself this." I show him my hand. "It really hurts. I don't know if I broke it, but it hurts more than it ever did when I hurt my thumb punching you."

I see the anger in his eyes washing away in a split second.

"Let's go inside. I'll take a look at that."

We get to my room and he takes care of me so gently, paying attention each time I wince, and not telling me to suck it up, like he probably should.

"It's not broken," is the only thing he says to me, then goes back to being silent.

When he's done fixing my finger, I want to apologize for taking my anger out on him too, but I don't get the chance.

He gets up from my bed and his expression is once again cold.

"Goodnight, Princess."

"Good… goodnight."

I hate being like this with him, and taking the time to reflect on it, I know he was a victim in my fit of rage, and it's time to be the bigger person. I have to apologize and explain myself.


The next day, after sitting all day in my room, I go to the gym, for our usual training, but I see nothing prepared. I guess he decided that's out of the books for now, trying to punish me. Or maybe not. Maybe something is keeping him busy. I hope this is the case.

I start my stretches and in less than a minute, he makes his way out of the little office attached to the gym.

I get to a straight position and open my mouth to express my regret, but he stops me with the lift of his hand.

"Ten laps," he instructs me and I start running without adding anything.

Besides instructions when I need them, he is giving me the silent treatment. Fine. Let him be mad. He'll see I was in the right when he finds out what happened with Ivan. If he'll ever be willing to listen to me, because from the way he kicked my ass over and over again during this training, I think it will take him a while to get over his anger.


When he finally decides to speak to me the next day, it's only to deliver bad news and boss me around.

The thing is, my actions got to the King's ears and he demands I apologize right away, and do anything in my power to be forgiven and mend things.

"I am not doing it."

"It isn't up for debate. You are doing it."

"Yes, Sir!" I even salute him. If he's acting like my superior, I shall respond with the same sentiment.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Very good question. But do you really want to find out?"

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Considering the way you boss me around, I could very much be one of your subordinates, so why not act accordingly, Guardian?"

"Not everything is a joke, Rose."

"Then, do I get bonus points if I act like I care about anything I have to do concerning that woman?"

"You're not listening to me!"

"I'm listening to you. I'm just not giving you too much attention because I don't give a shit."

"You're such a child. I'm not sure why I even bother with you!"

"Tell me something new. But hey, at least I have you all around me to tell me what to do. Could you even imagine having free will?"

"You could have that if you wouldn't use it so recklessly!"

"Yeah. But the alternative is me taking shit from anyone, so-"

"Maybe it is! Sometimes it is like that! Do you have any idea what what you did that night means?"

"What does it mean?"

"Do you even know whose nose you broke?"

"A bitch's nose?"

"I thought we had a deal."

"You're fucking upset about that?! Come on! Why should I care about who she is when-"

"But you should have cared! You should care! Because that woman you call a bitch is important. She is one of the Badicas and thanks to her father, guardians have enough supplies to train and places to live, out of those damned communes! So go figure out what your actions mean because you're the future Queen!" he sighs, and his anger turns once more into disappointment. "I know it was hard for you to hear those words from her, but, god, Rose, we need her father. I need her father to support our people. If he doesn't anymore… where does that leave us? He's one of the few people who still give a damn about us."

Hearing him say all that, I know I started on the wrong path, and I regret it dearly. But it's too little, too late. I don't even dare look him in the eyes anymore.

"I'll… I'll go apologize. I'm sorry I put everyone in such a position. I didn't know… but then again, this doesn't give me an excuse. I'll apologize. I'll make things right."

"Thank you."

"I don't think you should thank me. I didn't make things right yet." I don't know if I'll be able to.

"Just promise me one thing."

"I won't make things worse with her. I swear to god, I won't."

A couple of hours later, I am at Abby Badica's door, ready to do everything I can to make things right.

I am guided to her living room, and she's sitting on an armchair, eyeing me as I enter.

Fuck. She looks bad with that nose. And the eye is pretty bad too. I need to stop doing this to people around me, don't I? Maybe I should actually ask Evette to help me in this aspect. Maybe conflicts can be solved in other ways than with fists.

"Well, well. Look who's here. Let me guess. You came here to finish the job, as you threatened?"

"Not really. I'm supposed to apologize." fuck, I didn't start that right. "I mean-"

"Oh, that would be something to hear from you."

And she waits. But I can't bring myself to make a half-ass apology, so in the spur of the moment, I decide to be completely honest.

"I'm not going to apologize for why I did it. You deserved that. You talked shit and I am not taking it. All I am going to apologize for is doing it in public and embarrassing you like that. And I'm sorry I hit you that hard. I bet that hurts a lot."

She nods, after a whole minute of staring at me.

"Seems fair," she says getting up.

"It does?" I ask in awe.

In that minute of silence, I didn't expect it to work this way. I was starting to think I fucked up things further with my sincerity.

She chuckles at my dismay. "You expected me not to agree, huh?"

"Kind of."

"Truth be told, I didn't have anything against you that night. I was cranky and tipsy and I just had a fight with my father and… I guess I just wanted to stir some shit up to get back at him. I didn't really think at that moment. You were there, arguing with my friend, and I took the occasion to act up. I didn't expect you to put me in my place like that, but I kind of needed the reality check, didn't I?"

Hearing her, I cannot suppress my laughter.

"What a coincidence! Neither did I think much that night! I was mad at Ivan and I was looking for trouble too!"

We both laugh for a couple of minutes at how stupid we were. And not that I didn't come to the conclusion that I should stop doing this, but with everyone around me telling me I'm wrong to act this way, it's somewhat comforting to find someone acting the same.

"So… we're good?" I want to make sure of it.

"Yeah, we are."

"So… your father won't take his wrath for what I did on the guardians when I become Queen just to get back at me?"

She puts a hand on my shoulder to reassure me.

"Of course not. He scolded me for starting it, so I don't think he's even mad at you. And if he'd be, you apologized, and I'll make sure he knows of it. And I apologize too. I stepped out of line. I just regurgitated all the stupid things I heard about you, even though I should have known better that what Cathleen says is probably false."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. And I'll make it up to you somehow. And maybe… you could do something for me too? You know, to make me at least forget about the black eye you gave me?"

"It seems fair. It looks pretty awful."

"Great! Now… tell me, how hard would it be for you to arrange a date for me with your guardian?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Out of all the things I was prepared to do for her, this was not one of them. She wants a date with Dimitri?

"You heard me. Do you know how hard it is for anyone to get close to that man? He's unattainable and breaking hearts left and right with his refusals. But all I'm asking of you is a date. Well, I'm not saying no to more, if he's up to it. But it's not like I am going to marry him. Unless, you know, he wants to." she smiles, further fangirling about Dimitri. "My dad would have a stroke if that'd become true, and I can't wait for it to happen. But I wouldn't only marry him just to kill my father, to make things clear."

She has a crush on him! I mean, who wouldn't? I've seen the way women look at him when he walks around. His god-like reputation precedes him, his looks are to die for, and I've heard some stuff involving him and a bed, from the maids at the Court. There's no wonder women swoon around him.

"I'll see what I can do. But I can't promise you much. He's like… married to his job," I feel the need to temper her expectations. "He hardly gets a break as he's obliged to follow me everywhere. Today I'm here with Mikhail, but that's just an exception."

Oh, that wouldn't be a bad idea. He has to follow me everywhere. I could use this to my advantage.


It doesn't take me long to put my plan into action.

A few days later, I inform him that I'm going to have tea with Abby, and he's glad we're getting along. Only that he has no idea that I'm planning on him to get along with her too.

She invites me into her salon once more, and I insist I keep my guardian with me. Five minutes into it, I excuse myself and leave to the bathroom, leaving them two together.

To waste some time, I go speak to the guardians that are around the house.

But what I thought would be a nice time for conversation between them, turns into me thinking, at the back of my head, about what they might be doing in there. Because I know Abby wants it. Does he want it too?

I soon abandon the guardians and go back toward the salon, barely stopping myself from entering. After all, I don't want to stop what's going on in there. Or do I?

I cannot resist the urge to put my ear to the door and listen, but they must be whispering because I can't hear a thing.

But I want to know. Did he say yes to her advances? I mean, she's a beautiful woman and quite important. And not to mention very available. A lot of guys would say yes to that combo. Why wouldn't he? And I mean… he should go out with someone, right? It's a pity he isn't enjoying himself too much. It would do him good, even, to be in some more relaxed environments. Take a break from it all. Get some release even. I heard sex works wonders for stress. And if he's not a stressed man because of me, then I don't know who else is.

Despite all these pro arguments, I can't stop thinking I don't want it to happen.

I find it even more confusing when I see him coming toward me from the other end of the hallway. So he wasn't in the salon with her all this time?

I don't get to find out, because his face tells me he's pissed off.

"What in god's name were you thinking? And where the hell have you been all this time?"

Right here, wondering if he's already banging her!

"I don't know what you're talking about," I decide to answer the first question.

"The hell you don't! Do you think we're fifteen to be set up a date like that?"

"No, I just…"

"You just what? Tricked me into it?"

"I knew you'd never say yes if I asked you."

"You're right. I wouldn't have." and with that, he turns around to leave.

I follow him toward the exit.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the Court. For your information, I have more important things to do than have tea dates. You, on the other hand, can stay here for as long as you want, with your accomplice," he says it like me being friends with Abby would be a bad thing.

"You told me to repair my shit. I did. How is that wrong?"

"By putting the responsibility on me?! I don't remember agreeing to this!"

"I didn't put any responsibility on you! I solved the problem and I was just doing her a little favor because she likes you. I didn't tell you because you would have never agreed to it! You know, maybe getting with her would get that stick out of your ass! I mean, relax, for once!"

"I don't want to get with her! And even if I wanted, I don't need you to do things like this! And I cannot relax! Not with you doing stupid things every day! I have to repair the messes you make! Even today! You brought me here to have this stupid date with her and repair the mess you made! I'm tired of that, Rose. Grow up already. Take some responsibility for once, will you? People won't give you a pass forever."

"It's just a date, for crying out loud! Why do you have to be so obtuse?"

"Because!"

The way his eyes darken as he takes a step closer to me makes me seal my lips, but not for too long.

"Because what?" I try not to let him hear my voice shaking.

He gets even closer, and in my attempt to get away, I reach the wall with my back. But he doesn't stop. He puts a hand close to my head and leans in. I expect him to yell at me further, but the softness of his voice catches me unprepared.

"Because I… you…" he takes a deep breath in, and unfortunately, the coldness is back in his voice. "Don't you think it's time you seriously worry about your life? Leave mine out of this. Because who I go out with is none of your damned business."

He leaves me there, but not before he has talked to another guard to take me back to my chambers when I'm done here.


After Dimitri has opened my eyes to how much of a shitty person I've been, and with him completely ignoring my existence when we're in proximity, all that leaves me to interact with is Evette. Lissa is usually busy with her lover and my new friend is gone with her father on a vacation, so I tell myself this is the time for me to give my best in my classes.

I read all the books, I ask as many questions as I can, I repeat choreographies and good manners over and over again, and I even ask for extra work, just so that I can avoid the moment Dimitri has to take me from one place to another. Being stuck in a room with Evette is more pleasant than his silence.

I hate what I've done, but he's not ready to hear my apologies, so I'm taking my punishment. Maybe him kicking my ass again during a training session would have helped him get over this faster, but part of him showing me he's more than upset is the cancellation of those sessions, and I don't protest to that either.

When I hear that Ivan has come back to the Court, I think that mending things with him would be a step further in redeeming myself. Plus, we need to get to a consensus about what's going on between us.

I figured that what if he fucks someone else? Maybe our entire marriage will be like that, except when I will make him a baby, and maybe it can work like that. People have needs, after all, and if I can't satisfy them, I guess I can be alright with someone else doing it. It's not unheard of. Or so I hope.

I go to his office with the excuse that I want to give him something.

"I made this for you," I say as I put a handkerchief with an embroidered rose on the bureau between us.

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"Of course not."

"Good. Because I realized that your sex life is none of my business." no one's sex life should be my business, as I have been informed.

"Rose-"

"None of my business," I stop him when he wants to explain himself. "Just take this and let's call it even."

"What did I do to deserve it?"

I shrug. "Can't I do this for a friend?"

He smiles. "Yeah, of course you can. But do you still want to be my friend?"

"Maybe."

He nods. "I can work with maybe. And thank you for this."

He picks up the handkerchief and examines it.

"I know it sucks, but-"

"It's great, Rose. Honestly. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it. I got a massive headache just by working on these."

"On these?"

"You know… I kind of made two of them."

"And who is the other lucky one to receive the other one?"

"I was thinking… would Dimitri get upset if I…"

"I am sure he'll love it."

"But you know…"

"I know you two had a big fight. And that you haven't been speaking for a while."

"I don't know if he'll forgive me this time. I've been a pain in the ass for him and I fucked things up really bad."

"He forgives easily."

"Who? Because surely not me." These past days have been proof enough.

"He's not as bad as he likes to pretend, trust me."

"I didn't do it on purpose. The tea thing. I swear I didn't want to mess with him. I just thought… I don't know, maybe he'll like her. She was liking him and…"

"I trust you had good intentions. But I've tried my share of setting him dates and it never worked out well. But I'll talk to him-"

"No. I'll deal with it. I need to put on my big girl pants and own my shit."

He encourages me with a smile, and maybe he expects me to go, but I don't.

"What happened?" Ivan finally asks when I haven't spoken in a while.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If we… well, when we…" I take the time to exhale to gather my courage. "There must be an heir, right? At least, that's what's expected of us…"

The surprise on his face only lasts a second. "I think so. I mean, yes. It would be expected."

"So we… we will… we'll…"

"I thought my sex life was none of your business," he cannot help but tease me.

"Ivan, I'm serious."

He gets a hold of my hands and coming closer to me, he sits me on the chair in front of the bureau, then takes a seat himself on the one next to me. He doesn't let go of my hands, he only caresses them gently.

"I won't push you to do it. Any of that. We can wait until you feel ready. I'll wait."

I look down at our hands, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

"You're nice to say that. But still… how does that work between us?"

"Like… the science of it?" surprise now fills his voice and I nod. "The science of sex?" he chuckles. "I never thought I'll find myself saying these words in this exact sequence."

"I'm not talking about biology or something like that, and I know I'm silly to ask. I wouldn't even have asked you, but… I didn't know who else to go to. I know I could have asked Lissa, but… I mean, we're supposed to do this together, right?"

Tilting my head up to look at him, he gives me a reassuring smile.

"You see, kiddo… it all comes down to this: it's two people who put together what brings them pleasure. And mostly, they figure things out on the way. We'll figure it out when you feel ready to try."

At this point, with what happened last time we approached this subject, I think he figured it out I have no experience with this, and I appreciate his kindness.

"And how do… you know that? What do you like?"

"You've never been with anyone before?" I shake my head. Did he really need the confirmation? "Not in the littlest of ways?" I don't think kissing a random guy on a whim counts, so I shake my head again and his eyebrows lift even higher than before. "Have you ever touched yourself?"

There was no malice or teasing in his question, but it was enough to make me red with embarrassment from head to toe. I think I know enough.

"I um…" I get up as he chuckles to himself.

"Oh, Rose," is the last thing I hear him say as I fumble out the door.

To cool off my burning cheeks, I step outside and take a little walk.

"You shouldn't have gotten out unaccompanied," Dimitri's voice comes out of nowhere.

I know I said I want to make peace with him, but seeing his face after he has ignored me for so long pisses me off, so instead of apologizing, I decide to be a bitch.

"Go away."

"I know I'm not your favorite person at this moment, but-"

"I thought it went the other way." he doesn't infirm that, and it only makes me angrier. "But yeah. Let's just say that at times, if I saw you bleeding out on the floor, I'd act like I hadn't seen you. Maybe I'd even walk over you."

He smiles. "That's okay. I know you hate me every single day, so why would it be different now?"

"Isn't the feeling mutual?" I insist on it, and he opens his mouth, but I'm afraid to hear his answer. "I mean it, Dimitri. Go away. I want to be alone."

"But you need to be safe too."

"Who would kill me here, huh? In broad daylight?"

"You'd be surprised how many people could change their beliefs with the right motivation."

"God! I can't get rid of you, can't I?" I thought he doesn't want to be near me, so why does he insist to do it now? "I just want to be alone," I say, my voice almost breaking. "I just…"

"I can be quiet. And keep a safe distance. Would you be okay with that?"

Why is he so civil and kind? I don't deserve it.

"Yeah, that's fine."

He goes away some steps, and to my surprise, he turns his back on me, to give me privacy.

"Dimitri?"

"Yes?" he turns to look at me from the side.

"Thanks."

With a nod, he turns back around.

"And I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry I am like this. I don't seem to do anything right. I don't know how to… I fuck everything up. I'm sorry for what I did to you."

He turns around and looks at me.

"Can I come closer?"

"Yeah…"

When I want to wipe my tears with my sleeves, he stops me and gives me a tissue.

"Here."

"Thanks."

"It will get better."

"What?"

"All this"

"It will never get better. Because I'm never getting better. I'm letting everyone down."

"You've never let me down."

Dimitri from a few days ago would disagree.

"Because you always expect me to do some stupid stuff?"

The corner of his mouth curves up.

"I don't always expect it. Sometimes you still manage to surprise me."

We both laugh at that.

"Still… I'm sorry I disappointed you the other day."

"I didn't mean that."

"But you were right. I'm sorry for that day. I really am. And I'll… I'll try harder. I can't promise you anything, but I'll try to be better. And more level-headed. I want to be a good queen, but I just… I have an affinity to do the stupidest shit."

A tear rolls on my cheek and I don't manage to wipe it before he sees it.

"I'm sorry too. I haven't been-"

"You were right. Each and every word."

"I was cruel. It may not excuse my behavior, but I never liked people to intrude in my personal life."

"A lot of people try to hook you up with the ladies?"

"Kind of."

"They're beautiful women. Other men wouldn't mind."

"He does," Ivan spawns out of nowhere, behind us, and almost gives me a heart attack.

I put his spying on us on him wanting Dimitri and I to get along, but I still eye him in a scolding manner. We were having a private conversation, after all.

"Because he has a special lady on his mind," Ivan continues to speak, making things more intriguing for me.

Hearing that, it makes me smile. It makes sense now.

"You do, huh?" I pitch into Ivan's little tease.

That must be a very lucky lady. I have the feeling he can love hard. Him to put his passion into loving someone… I'd like to see that.

But Dimitri doesn't appreciate his friend telling on him. He even rolls his eyes and puffs.

"It's been so many years, Ivan. Why don't you drop it already?"

"Because until this day, I haven't found out who this mysterious lady is. And you know I'm a curious one."

"Oh, so no one knows who she is?" now my curiosity is to the roof!

"As I said," Dimitri accentuates. "It's been years."

"Yeah, and four years later, I still don't know who stole your heart." Ivan smiles at me and I know he's going to say something that's going to piss off his friend. "You should have seen him that day. I've never seen him that passionate about anyone. The way he talked about this guardian girl-"

"Ivan." wow, that almost sounded like a growl. I have the feeling we're playing with fire.

"Okay, okay. I won't ruin your stoic reputation in front of Rose."

When I meet Dimitri's eyes, I smile. "That's sweet."

"I know, right? The badass Dimitri Beli-"

"Ivan, stop! She was sixteen, what the hell are you thinking? What romance are you talking about?! You mistook simple admiration for love! I felt nothing for that woman and I never will!" Ivan opens his mouth to protest, but he's not allowed that. "Now can you just drop it?" His jaw finally releases and he sighs. "And can we go, Rose? Dinner must be ready so I need to take you inside."

Dimitri goes first, and we follow in silence. I am too stunned to speak, but this looks like a situation Ivan has been into before.

I try to be as quiet as possible, so I lean closer to Ivan and speak.

"I've never seen him get this mad about anything. Not even at a stupid thing I did. And I did plenty." this doesn't even compare to when he yelled at me the other day.

Ivan shrugs. "He never reacted like this any time I brought that up before. I don't know what changed."

After the dinner we spent in complete silence at the Zeklos' suite, I think I could do something to cheer Dimitri up, so I don't think twice before sneaking up into his room as he's away for training. I leave a little gift for him on the nightstand and pray that he will forgive my fraudulent entrance.

When we meet for breakfast we still don't talk much, except the usual pleasantries, and I start fearing I messed things up even further.

"Thank you," he says to me just before I enter Yana's space.

"Huh?"

"For your gift. Thank you. I appreciate the work you put into the handkerchief and the painting of Millie is really beautiful."

"Oh… I hope you like that." besides the hankie, I thought a little painting would be a nice addition to his too-empty walls.

"I do. But why didn't you give that to me personally?" I can only shrug in response. "You know, I don't bite."

"You surely leave the impression you do."

He smiles. "I don't, I promise."

"I'll remind you this when I mess up again. And I don't think it will be too long until then."

We both smile, but I feel the need to pick up the conversation from where we left it before Ivan came.

"I swear I didn't do it on purpose. The last thing I wanted was to upset you even more after that night. I… I know I'm really bad at it, at almost everything, but… besides Lissa and Ivan, you're the only one I spend most of my time with and… I like it when we get along. I hate it when we fight and I'm not pushing for us to become besties or anything like that, but… could we try to get along, at least? Like… more than we did until now? I mean, I want to try that because I'm the one usually bringing all the trouble. Would you allow me?"

He nods. "I think I'd like that."

Out of nowhere, I hug him.

"Thank you!"

But soon I realize it's a little too much, so I pull away, embarrassed by my reaction.

"I um… I'll go now."

He remains there, smiling, and I go on my way.

"Hey, Rose."

"Yeah?"

"We have new training gear."

"That's nice."

I knew this gear will be delivered because I asked Abby to make it happen, in return for my favor. And I don't plan to stop my collaboration with her here. Of course, as long as we keep Dimitri out of it.

"I bet you won't even score one point against me," he tries to spark my interest.

"Oh, are you challenging me?"

"I guess I am. See you tonight?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." I missed our training sessions.

Like to make up all the time we lost on our previous days, we spare until I already start feeling how sore I'm going to be tomorrow.

And thanks to how tired he got me, he manages to pin me down. Again. It's the millionth time I find myself in this position. And it's the millionth time I start thinking of how easy it would be for our lips to touch. We're so close, after all.

My luck makes it that my leg brings me back to reality.

"Oh, god!"

He lets go of my hands and pulls away in an instant.

"What happened?"

"It really hurts. I've got a cramp."

"Where?"

"Here." I get up and put my hand over the back of my thigh, squeezing and hoping it goes away.

He pats the mat. "Lie back down."

I do it and as he's kneeling next to me, he takes my leg and rests my calve on his shoulder. Placing his hands on the front of my thigh, he slowly starts stretching my leg.

"How does that feel?"

"Better. The pain's going away."

He massages me too and that feels too good. And I'm not talking about the pain relief. How his hands move on my flesh-

Only that he rips them away and gets up while clearing his throat.

Dimitri's POV

What was in my mind to do that?

To a third party, it might have looked innocent, but I'm aware of my own thoughts and not all of them were that innocent. It is really hard not to have them when she's in this position.

"Maybe we should call it a day."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not too useful anymore," she mumbles and leaves the room.

I stay behind to put the props back to their place, taking this time to scold myself for the millionth time. I never learn my lesson when it comes to her.

On my way to the main building, I meet Adrian. The perfect ending for a perfect night, right?

He looks more than surprised to see me.

"Wow, cuz, you're…" he whistles. "On fucking fire."

"What's that supposed to mean?" half of the things he says make no sense. I still don't understand how Rose gets along with him so well.

"Nothing. Just a random observation."

"I won't even bother to question what that means," I tell him and walk away. Adrian is the last person I need on my mind now.

As I sign off and head toward my room, I still can't shake her out of my mind.

Take care of her for me, will you? That's what Ivan asked me to do each time when he left. And I promised him I would, over and over again. Stupid promise. Stupid, stupid promise! The first time it was easy. But as I kept on making that promise it became harder and harder and it's not like I could have refused him. What reason could I have given him? Definitely not the truth.

Checking my phone, I remember I got a text a couple of days ago, and on impulse, I call her.

She answerers right away.

"Wow, should I write this day in the calendar to remember it? You never call, Dimitri." when I realize this wasn't the smartest choice I could have made tonight, it's too late. When I hear the disappointment in her voice, it makes the situation even worse. "Oh, don't tell me you butt-dialed me."

"No butt-dialing. I called on purpose." not that I know what that purpose was. "I heard you'll be around the Court soon."

"I am. Should I free my schedule?"

"If you want to."

"You know I can never say no to you."

"Then, I'll see you."

"I can't wait, Dimka."