Happy Sunday Friends! Hope all is well in your world. Having fun with this story, hope you are too! Enjoy the update and let me know what you think. I miss them. Where's the crying face emoji when you need it. XO, Ash

PREVIOUSLY…

"I'm happy you're getting your shot. I just…" Andy hesitated looking over. She knew he'd be able to read her expression no matter how she was trying to hide it. "You're leaving," She shrugged her shoulders dejectedly.

Andy knew he deserved this opportunity, in fact he'd more than earned it. He'd fought tooth and nail to rebuild his career, rebuild his reputation and make amends.

He had more than twice the amount of experience than anyone in the firehouse. It was time. She just didn't like the idea that he would be moving, getting that shot on the other side of the state, not in her world on a regular basis.

Even though they weren't together, even though she knew she didn't technically need him for anything or have a claim to him... he was part of the fabric of her life. It was hard to imagine that changing.

"Says the woman who divorced me," Robert replied with a self-deprecating laugh.

His shoulders moved up and down and his belly contracted. He hadn't expected such a full laugh, but when it came, he didn't squash it down.

There was just something so damn hilarious about the fact that he'd waited ten months for the woman sitting next to him to come to her senses, they divorce, he moved on, she dated and now... just as he was on his way out of town, they were getting their spark back.

Andy winced at his words and when Robert realized she hadn't laughed too, he looked over and saw the pained expression on her face. "It's been long enough. We can laugh about it now."

Andy sighed.

She was glad that Robert was in a good place about it all. Lord knows, she'd put him through hell. She also knew... she had a window here. An opportunity. A doorway they could potentially walk through.

A chance to tell a truth she hadn't shared. A truth that wouldn't just be flirting or lightly suggestive glances... something that would expose the state of her heart with no guarantee how it would be received or how it might change things between them.

She was scared.

Draining the remaining amber colored liquid in a couple large gulps, Andy prayed for courage. Placing the glass back down, heart beating loudly in her chest, she spoke...

CHAPTER 4…

"I shouldn't have," Andy blurted out.

Robert's eyes darted over to Andy. She saw the wash of emotion flood him and confusion rested in his brows. Voice shaky, but forging ahead, she held his gaze and spoke the words that had only existed in the recesses of her mind until now.

"Filing for divorce was a mistake. I can't take it back. Can't change it, but I wish..." her voice cracked. "I wish I'd fought."

When the words slipped free from the cage they'd been locked in, Andy felt freer. Lighter. Whether or not it was the right call or how exactly it would shift the tectonic plates underneath them was up in the air, but it was time to be honest.

This couldn't be swept under the rug of "just friends" anymore. She was basically admitting, without saying the exact words, that she still loved him and at the very least was thinking about what it might be like if they were still together.

"I...ah...It's…" Robert cleared his throat.

Nervously, he rubbed his hands back and forth over denim clad thighs. Trying to find something to occupy his discomfort, he reached forward and picked up his glass of water. As he drank the clear bubbly liquid, his mind sieved through the best possible responses.

After an endless amount of time internally debating her regret, stuck in the quicksand of, "did she regret walking out on their marriage, hurting him?" He'd accepted that an answer to his question was never coming.

Even with her icy disposition thawing and obvious growth this past year, he'd never landed on a clear yes so to be here now felt surreal.

Suspecting and knowing felt like night and day in his body.

"I was scrolling instagram a while back..." Andy inserted.

She had done it now, the rabbit was out of the hat. She had to keep going and face whatever was on the other side of this admission. "…I saw something that landed like a gut punch."

Glancing over at Robert briefly and catching his eye, Andy continued.

"We all have a chapter of our life that we don't read out loud." Andy nodded her head a bit as the thought swirled around her insides.

Even speaking the words now, it felt like she was hearing it for the first time. "I like who I am now. This version of Andy. How I've pieced myself back together and I wouldn't be her without that chapter…"

Her head nodded for emphasis, "…so I've accepted that's what it took to get here, but I do wish that you hadn't been hurt and our marriage hadn't been collateral damage."

Robert saw her solid exterior crumbling under the heaviness of her words. He hesitated for a split second before reaching out and taking her small hand in his larger one.

"You don't have to be so hard on yourself," he said gently. And shrugging a bit added, "Marriage is a group project."

"Yes," Andy said firmly. "But in the end, you didn't give up on us. I did."

The expression on Robert's face left Andy feeling floaty. Or maybe it was partially the whiskey? Either way she knew he meant the words he was saying.

He didn't blame her.

Robert's thumb rubbed the tops of her knuckles gently and understanding pulsed within. They had both done things and said things they wished could be taken back. Their failed relationship wasn't just on her and he knew the kind of trauma she'd faced could've made anyone spiral out.

"You did the best you could," Robert's tone said this wasn't platitude or giving a hall pass.

Before he'd signed the divorce papers, he'd sat on the tiny bed in his station bunk and considered her rocky childhood. A dad who worked a lot, her parents chaotic marriage and 20 years of dishonesty. Not to mention being pulled away from her entire extended family and support system. Then losing Ryan tragically…

Andy's behavior had been infuriating, but he could also see why she'd done what she did.

The moment she feared he was being dishonest about his intentions, prioritizing his career over her and doing anything that felt like she might end up out in the cold, she ran for the hills.

Leave him before he can leave you.

He couldn't fault her for trying to protect herself. He'd landed in Montana for that same reason. And in the end, he loved her enough to let her be free.

It broke his heart, but he'd signed.

"Not looking for a pass or beating myself up. I just wanted you to know that I..." Andy's voice cracked as she searched for how to explain the realization she'd come to.

She would never forget being on a call when a kid had knocked over a lamp and likely caused a small house fire. The mom was doing her best to console what appeared to be a 13 or 14 year old girl.

The mother had told her daughter, "Acceptance is giving up the idea that the past could be different. It happened. It was an accident. You're sorry. Now we move forward."

Andy threaded her fingers through Roberts in hopes of borrowing some of his strength. There were a few more things she wanted to say.

"It was like…" She paused for a minute and looked away to find her words. "I had to stay angry because that was the only way I could shut you out."

Sighing long and deep, Andy remembered herself during that time. That person felt unrecognizable. "Eventually, I realized, my anger wasn't the problem."

Shaking her head a bit, she added. "This sounds so dumb now. So obvious. But fighting is normal even when you really love someone."

Her tone squeaked higher uncomfortably. "The running, blaming, not taking responsibility for my part... that was the problem."

Patiently, Robert listened to the explanation he never thought he'd get and had managed to move on without. He could feel the remorse emanating from her despite the attempts to maintain composure.

Swallowing down the tears that threatened to come, Andy added, "It took a long time to see how I made you the villain and even longer to be able to admit it."

"We both made mistakes, Andy." Robert's voice was insistent and again he held her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she replied genuinely. "Really sorry."

"Let yourself off the hook," Robert said with a gentle smile. "I did a long time ago."

"Maybe you're just a better person than me," Andy joked, lightening the mood substantially.

"Can I get a sound byte of that?" he joked.

It was especially humorous since what landed him on her doorstep earlier that evening was his need to apologize for months of dishonesty.

They were quiet for some time before Andy posed a question she'd been turning over in her mind.

When she inadvertently got 23 closed, he'd checked on her, despite the cold shoulder treatment he'd been receiving for the past year. He'd comforted her after the assault and made working together as Lieutenants easy when she'd come back to 19. He never once alluded to her lack of apology or tried to force an admittance of wrongdoing.

She'd always wondered how he'd moved forward so...easily. "How'd you do it?" Andy asked.

Robert's eyebrows creased as he waited for her to explain further.

"Move on with no apology?" She added softly.

"Honestly," Robert replied quickly before losing his nerve. He loosened his hold on Andy's hand and picked at some invisible lint on the couch. "No man wants to be angry with the woman he loves."

He peeked up to catch the reaction on her face before continuing. "I tried to see things from your perspective. And from there just decided I wanted you to be happy even if that wasn't with me."

"Ugh.. you really are a better person than me," Andy grimaced and leaned her head back against the couch. She looked up to the ceiling.

Robert chuckled a little and mirrored her actions of resting his head against the back of the couch.

"If someone gets caught in a 10 car pile up. They hit someone, someone hits them... it's a mess. Do you blame the driver in the middle?" he questioned casually.

Andy tipped her head a bit, pursed her lips and answered, "No." She could sense a point was on its way.

"Right," Robert said. "Cuz you know it's not their fault."

"I'm not totally getting the analogy," Andy admitted sheepishly. "Blame the whiskey."

This pulled a smile from Robert that he didn't bother hiding.

"You're the middle car, Andy." His rich baritone voice dropped and texture was added to words that had never left the attic of his mind.

He continued softly. "Everything that happened with your dad, mom, family stripped away, just all the bad stuff in life... it caused you to do the things you did."

"Wow," Andy said with a full body exhale. "I've never thought of it that way."

And there it was again. That ache lodged deep in her gut that made her think she might cry. She found herself biting the inside of her cheek to keep the emotion at bay.

Explaining further, Robert continued. "You still have to take responsibility for fixing your car and the one you hit. Hand over your insurance card, pay the deductible, but it wasn't your fault. All there is to do is move forward."

"You're kind of annoyingly smart," Andy said with a grin and a gleam in her eye.

"I mean I am," Robert teased and she reached a hand over to nudge him.

"But really, I've just messed up…a lot." he nodded his head a bit as he spoke. "I've had to make amends, you know that. Working the program and talking to Richard showed me, a lot of the reasons I did the things I did weren't my fault either..."

"...but they are your responsibility," Andy finished for him.

"Yep," Robert thrummed the fingers of one hand on his knee and debated whether or not to say what else was on his mind.

"You're human, like I'm human. And it'd be pretty damn hypocritical if I tried to hold you to some unrealistic standard of perfection that I don't meet myself." There was undeniable sincerity in his words.

The minutes following Andy's admission and Robert's response felt like the calm after a storm.

Like the rare, clean air after a hard rain. The skies were turning from gray to blue and low heat from the sun, just slipping beyond the curtain of clouds, could be felt. Lingering stillness blanketed them, but before either of them could fill the open space with sound, the timer on Andy's phone went off again.

It was time to rinse her final mask and moisturize.

Sitting the phone down on the table as she got up, Andy felt Robert's end of the couch move and assumed he was gonna head home now. Seemed like a good time after her... whatever she'd just started. What she didn't expect was his hand tugging her into a hug.

"My mask is gonna rub off on your shirt," Andy mumbled into his chest, making no attempt to do anything but hold on and breathe his comforting smell.

"I don't give a damn about your mask," Robert replied gruffly and felt Andy's chuckle vibrate against his body.

He tightened his hold around her shoulders and inhaled the familiar scent of her shampoo. She was so much smaller than he was, it made dropping a kiss on the top of her head easy.

Every one of Andy's realizations had come on the heels of deep inner work and as someone who'd gone through all twelve steps of NA, he knew making amends was never easy.

It took a special blend of courage, resilience and vulnerability. But she had done it. It had taken years to get to this place...but somehow they'd found their way.

Uncertainty about their future now rested between them, but one thing was sure—Healing had happened there tonight.

After an impromptu visit, over sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies they had mended something that once seemed irreparable.

In retrospect, the whole day felt like coming full circle.

They'd fought that morning in the gym. Both holding their ground and slinging hurtful insults. Then gone their separate ways, each with frustration at a boiling point. In the past they would sweep it under the rug and just walk around it for a while, but not this time.

This time they'd seen each other's side, apologized and come back together stronger. They'd figured out how to do the exact thing that had been their undoing while married.

Repair.

They'd taught one another something with lifetime return on investment. It's possible to fight, see the ugly parts of one another, disagree and still end in love. No running. No leaving. No protecting themselves. Just acceptance and moving on.

Holding each other for several moments, Robert finally whispered. "I'm glad you're good. That's all I ever wanted for you."

He swallowed back the emotion he felt clogging at his throat.

When they parted ways, Robert grabbed his jacket and headed home while Andy finished the rest of her skincare routine.

As her head hit the pillow a short time later, the questions that plagued her since closing the door behind Robert, got louder.

"Could things ever go back to how they'd been before? Had they opened up a genie that couldn't be shoved back in a bottle?"

In chorus with the internal debate, the swell of emotions that had been rising for weeks, were playing at full volume in Andy's body.

Longing, love, relief, concern, fear, uncertainty. They were all raging a war that threatened a sleepless night.

With that emotional upheaval and concern over just how sizable her vulnerability hangover would be tomorrow, Andy stifled a yawn and prayed sleep would find her.

"Two years," Robert murmured under his breath as he drove. That's how long he'd spent wondering what the hell had happened.

Countless nights during their separation analyzing how he could have misread the state of their marriage so badly and been such a poor judge of how Andy would react to him raising his hand for Captain ahead of her.

The questions had been relentless.

"Was it all in his mind? Did he just love her more? Was that really a thing? How had it been so easy for her to just walk away? How did she move on so quickly? Was she sorry?"

It hadn't made sense and closure was a lost cause, but in the end he'd found peace.

Coming to terms with the unanswered questions took work, but he got there. And eventually, he packed up the firey love, still very real for him, and tucked it away in the closet of his heart.

They called it compartmentalization.

But now, that box was out, cracked open. He'd gotten answers. Andy had let herself be seen and her truth heard. With each word, each sentence, each look, a layer of fog between them cleared.

What he didn't understand now was, why?

After years being mocked by the missing pieces of a partially finished puzzle tonight, when he'd least expected it... they'd appeared and the relief was instant.

In the confines of his SUV, on autopilot driving home, replaying the night's conversations over in his mind, 'why now' was plaguing him.

It was that insistent demand to know, that had him busting a u-turn and heading back towards Andy's apartment.

He wanted an answer tonight.

Why after all this time? Why say all those things just as he was moving? Why after finding out he was in a relationship? Why was she turning towards him now?

Why?

BACK TO THE PRESENT…

Seeing who's name was running across his in-dash caller ID, Robert opted out of standard pleasantries.

"I was just about to call you," he admitted.

"Lemme guess, the guilt is hovering somewhere between 7 and 10," Richard joked a little.

"If I had known you were gonna be a mindreader, might not have agreed to have you as my sponsor," Robert said more lightheartedly than he felt.

Richard's chuckle was easy. "Ahhh...You keep plenty to yourself."

Robert sighed in that exhausted way you do when you're on the road and you just want to be out of the car already. Neither man rushed to fill the silence. They had spent enough time together that Richard knew the younger man would eventually say what was on his mind when he figured it out.

"We fought," his words were tight and dripping in frustration.

"...a while back about her staying on full duty even though she was pregnant. I was so angry, but I didn't wanna do that thing where I try to control her out of irrational fear." Robert's voice shined a light on both his weariness.

"Being worried about the mother of your child running into burning buildings while pregnant doesn't seem irrational, Robert." Richard affirmed.

"Especially after all the losses you've faced," he added.

"The rules sided with her anyway so she hadn't even disclosed yet. As long as her ability to work wasn't being impacted, she could wait," Robert said.

"I was so terrified that something exactly like this would happen." He shook his head thinking about their argument. "Now it has and..."

"And?" Richard coaxed, gently. Feeling like they were getting to the root of the issue.

"And I'm not there. I wasn't there. That is my job and I failed them. I didn't keep them safe." The words tumbled from Robert's mouth like a large rock flowing downhill.

"So... the guilt's at a 10 then?" Richard joked.

Robert didn't wanna laugh, but couldn't help responding with a gravely chuckle.

"Let me ask you this?" Richard posed. "If a contractor builds a home in a residential neighborhood and twenty years later it's struck by lightning. That lightning just happens to hit the house at the exact right spot causing the home to burst into flames. Do you go back to the contractor and say, why did you build a home there? Don't you know it's gonna catch fire?"

Robert followed the older, wiser man's words and responded. "No. He couldn't have known."

"Exactly. You wouldn't blame him for something that he didn't know would happen and couldn't have stopped even if he somehow had psychic abilities. He's human. He couldn't stop a natural phenomenon." Richard hoped his words would help the younger man he'd grown fond of.

"I hear you," Robert grumbled.

He knew he couldn't have stopped 19 from responding to that fire or Andy from endangering her life to save that little girl.

"You're not to blame," Richard added.

As he mused over Richard's words, Robert felt the dial on the feelings of guilt turn down. They weren't gone, but also the blame was no longer all consuming. It felt like he could breathe a little easier.

Staring straight ahead at the road in front of him, he tee'd the question he'd been nervous to ask. "You've been a surgeon a long time..."

"I have," Richard affirmed.

"So you know if this type of surgery is... is it one that usually goes okay?" Robert squeezed out.

"I won't lie to you," Richard paused.

"I don't know the specific stats and pretty much all surgery has risks involved. What I can tell you is that, when I last checked Andy and the baby were both stable. Which is a great thing," he hoped his words would bring some comfort.

"And there are only a few doctors in the world who can do what Addison Montgomery can do. She's a bulldog. There is no one who will fight harder than her to see your family through this." Richard's voice was the perfect blend of fatherly love and determined leadership.

Robert nodded his head and absorbed the words, "Thank you."

"You've got what... another 90 min or so on the road?" Richard questioned.

"About," Robert mused. "As long as I don't run into any traffic getting closer to the city."

"Drive safe, I'll see you when you get here," Richard replied.

With that, the two men ended the call and Robert went back down memory lane.

FLASHBACK…

Hand dropping back down to his side for the second time since arriving back at apartment 34, Robert wondered if being back there was a mistake.

He paused for a moment, took a deep breath and summoned his own inner strength to knock.

Andy had just begun to relax into sleep, when a loud knock at the door startled her awake. Eyes popping open, nerves surged through her belly.

There was only one person who could be on the other side of that door.

Robert hadn't seemed upset when he left, but maybe something had changed? Maybe he was frustrated that she'd all but guaranteed they no longer had a home in the neighborhood of platonic friendship or confused why now after all this time she was trying to mend what was broken.

Forgoing the sweater tossed at the end of her bed and making the short trek from her bedroom to the front door, she decided to apologize.

She wasn't exactly sorry for opening up, but she also could have said less... or gotten less emotional? Robert didn't have to be left in a weird place, just because she had finally figured her crap out.

"Shit," she muttered under breath as she opened the door. "Here goes nothing."

Robert knew it had only been a few seconds since he'd knocked on the door, but it felt like three lifetimes had passed. His insides were mushy like they'd been put through a blender and he didn't fully know what he was attempting to accomplish by returning.

But was also powerless to leave.

When the heavy, wooden door began to open, Robert didn't wait for Andy to come into full view before his most pressing question formed on his lips.

"Why-" he began.

"I'm so-" the words caught in Andy's throat.

Interrupting each other, they stopped trying to speak.

Staring past the physical human form of one another, looking beyond the masks they'd been wearing and ways they'd attempted to hide what felt real. The truth was staring them right in the face.

At the core of them both an expansive ocean of love was still there.

Breath shallow, hearts racing, they had an entire conversation with their eyes. What came next was inevitable.

In an instant, he realized he didn't care why.

In an instant, she realized she wasn't sorry.

"To hell with it," Andy thought, but before she could push off her feet and reach up for him, Robert pulled her body to his and captured her lips in a kiss that was years in the making.

She'd bared her soul tonight.

Cracked open parts of herself she never intended for daylight. It was the kind of admission that could leave you raw or tender, but Robert's response had been like aloe gingerly applied to soothe a sunburn. Her truth had been met with nothing but understanding and compassion.

It left her speechless.

She felt wobbly, exposed and deeply yearning for more. Not sex, but closeness. She wanted to free fall into his warmth and safety. So with the urgency of a Formula 1 driver, she surrendered. Welcoming his invasion of her personal space, she slid her tongue against his and let better judgment dissolve into nothingness.

He should care that technically this morning he was still in a relationship with someone else. Sure, hanging on by a thread, but still not officially done.

The thing was, he didn' didn't have a single ounce of guilt or shame. The only thing that mattered was Andy's lips on his.

Robert's movements felt as if they were happening outside of his will. He couldn't have explained it if someone asked, but the moment he'd seen her, he knew exactly why he'd turned his car around and landed on her doorstep for the 2nd time that night.

His tongue dove inside Andy's mouth and tinges of her toothpaste teased him. His urgency met her surrender and with one hand at the small of her back, another buried in loose curls, he deepened their embrace.

"More," his inner voice pulsed loudly. He wanted to taste, feel, and have more.

Lost to the world, the shuffling of another person through the building hallway registered only enough for the pair to move completely through Andy's doorway and Robert to kick the door closed behind them.

Pivoting their connected bodies with his large frame, Robert pressed the full length of his hard ridges into Andy's curves. Slowly dragging his nose down hers, tongue sliding across warm lips. When the softest moan escaped, he smiled against her mouth.

The energy swirling between them was a cocktail of two parts home, one part anticipation.

It was the deep, familiar exhale you take after crawling into your own bed following days on the road and the exhilaration of kissing a new lover for the first time, all blended into a singular perfect moment.

Andy's center pulsed with need as Robert's mouth trailed her jawline and he kissed his way down the column of her neck. When he sucked at the skin just below her ear, a flush of heat boiled up and her legs pressed together.

"Fuck," she thought to herself. He hadn't forgotten a thing.

Seared on his memory was a map of her pleasure points. He'd studied her, learned her and knew the exact codes required to unlock the gate of her bliss. With almost no effort she felt herself cracking open and yielding to his touch.

As one hand pushed down the loose strap of Andy's sleep tank, Robert's deep baritone voice rumbled against smooth skin. "You smell good."

The recognizable scent of white cranberry and musk had been flirting with him all night.

Holding onto Robert's hips, Andy's eyes rolled and head tipped back opening herself up more. Feeling him breathe her in, she murmured, "Maintenance Day, remember?"

Hands reaching up and across strong shoulders, she pushed Robert's jacket to the floor. Warm skin said hello as she slipped small hands under the hem of his t-shirt, first tracing the lines of his muscular back then pulling him tighter against her body.

She'd missed this.

This skin. This touch. This body. This feeling of being dropped together in a melting pot. The long unmet need was driving her urge to be utterly consumed by him now. To lose conscious awareness of their separation and be one.

"I remember how they ended," Robert's lips continued, littering tiny kisses down her shoulder, while his finger tips trailed down her sides.

Bodies fused, Robert's growing erection pressed against her belly, everything in her screamed, "get naked now." She felt desperate for the barriers of clothing to be removed.

A light gasp shot from Andy's lips as Robert's hands connected with the smooth skin of her legs. Her body was liquifying under his touch. Sweeping the loose sleep shorts up, his hands dug firmly into her thighs. The pressure was exquisite.

"I can't think when you do that," Andy confessed.

"Me either," Robert murmured, continuing his ministrations with one hand, using the other to tilt her head slightly in the other direction to gain access to the other shoulder.

He didn't wanna think. He didn't wanna talk. They'd both done so much of that. Now, he wanted this. For them both to stop resisting the torrent of impulses flooding them and just let themselves be overtaken with the one thing they wanted.

Each other.

"I've had too much to drink to make good choices..." Andy whispered.

She wasn't drunk by any means, but the hard lines of boundaries felt blurry and her resolve sheer. She was exhausted from trying to keep the very clear attraction between them at bay and any remaining shreds of self control weren't just slippery, they felt gone.

"I'm sober," Robert murmured before finding Andy's lips again. "This feels like a good choice."

The heat from his mouth, his hands on her body, the sound of sex dripping from his voice was too much. Her brain was foggy with passion and focusing was impossible.

Pulling back just slightly, Andy hunted for Robert's eyes.

"Yeah?" She questioned.

Robert held her gaze, so there was no mistaking his position. "Yes." His voice was husky, but certain.

For Andy that was enough. If he was sure, she was sure.

And as if the emergency brake had been released, Andy grabbed a handful of gray cotton and tugged upwards. Robert met her halfway and pulled his t-shirt the rest of the way off. Nimble fingers found his belt buckle and made quick work of unfastening it.

Despite the noisy clink of metal hitting the living room floor, Andy remained undeterred. Her hands greedily consumed the newly found skin before pulling Robert's hard body back to her. Leaning upwards, her lips crashed against his and she let the heat bubbling up within her flow to the object of her affection.

Robert, sensing the escalation, lifted Andy's small frame and she hooked her legs snuggly around his hips.

The trip to her bedroom was short. Haphazard kisses, deep sighs and laughs fell out of them as they discarded the rest of their clothes and landed her unmade bed.

Skin to skin, hard ridges against soft curves, legs tangled together, they kissed, caressed and explored each other. The silent innovation was, "Welcome home."

"Was this your plan all along?" Robert mumbled into the crook of Andy's neck as he nibbled and sucked the smooth skin there.

She couldn't help the grin that formed.

"No, but I'm not sorry," Andy breathed before catching his lips once more. "I've been thinking about kissing you all night."

"Just kissing?" Robert asked with a grin.

"And other things…" feeling the firmness of his arousal near her center, she tilted her hips up in invitation.

"Interesting…" His voice trailed off slightly. "I've been thinking about other things too."

"Like?" Andy questioned.

"Like this," he mumbled in between trailing wet, open mouth kisses from her chin to down to the valley of her breasts.

"And this…" A sharp gasp of pleasure filled his ears as he sucked one peaked, rose colored nipple into his mouth. Running his hand along the other breast, he tugged and waited for the reaction he knew would come.

"Oh God," Andy's voice was tight and muscles contracted.

Robert felt the sting of Andy's nails digging into his back and the sensation ratcheted up his own desire. As her body shuddered in response to his touch, he felt his hardness grow.

Andy relished in the feel of him. His heat and strength overwhelmed her in the best way. Hands coasting down his spine, sculpted legs cradling Robert's narrow hips, wetness gathering at her center. She was anxious for his fullness.

"Wait," Robert stopped abruptly and tried to access his previously abandoned restraint.

"What?" Andy breathed as confused eyes searched him to find a reason for the sudden reluctance.

Pulling back slightly, Robert offered her a reverent gaze.

He breathed deep and let himself feel the weight of the moment. Hovering on his elbows above this woman he cared so deeply for, he traced a line across her hairline.

"This is really okay?" He asked in a tone that was both loving and firm.

Robert didn't add the additional context verbally, but looking at the warmth and worry in his eyes, Andy knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Of course he'd ask," She thought to herself.

Afraid her voice might crack, Andy nodded her head yes. She wouldn't cry, not now. She didn't want to, she wanted to dive head first into the good feelings coursing through her, but that didn't stop her eyes from pooling ever so slightly.

"Consent should be clear." He held her gaze before adding. "You have to say it."

"Yes," Andy answered hurriedly before pulling his lips to hers for another kiss. "I'm sure."

She wanted to say yes this is perfect. If there was one person on the planet it should be, it should be you but that seemed like a little much for where they were now.

Pulling back once more, Robert spoke again softly. "You'll stop me if—."

Despite his clearly turned on state, she could see the earnest concern on his face. "Damn it. This man," she thought to herself. He just kept finding ways to undo her.

"I won't need to," Andy said honestly. "It's you."

The safety she felt in Robert's arms was bone deep. There wasn't the faintest strand of fear or anxiety about being intimate with him.

As she had put herself back on the market after the assault, her mind had been cloudy with hyper-vigilance at times. So much so, that she'd given herself rules for dating to feel more comfortable. And always when going out, felt exhilaration and nervousness competing in her body.

But not now.

Now she could melt, surrender and savor the sensations Robert coaxed from her. She could let herself fall off the cliff of ecstasy and be fully present for every note of pleasure he would pull from her body.

In times past, he played her like the instrument of a skilled musician who'd spent years practicing scales, so he could deliver artistry through music. Something beyond the sense of hearing and into that space of feeling where only the best songs lived.

Robert didn't just know her body, he knew her heart. The love they made had always been a reflection of that and Andy felt sure tonight would be no different.

"It's you." Her words ping-ponged through his insides.

"How could two simple words carry so much power?" He wondered to himself.

Trust was a hard earned, sacred gift and to know that he had hers decimated him.

The time Robert spent questioning, wondering, feeling left out in the cold had caused him to doubt what he believed they shared. It felt like a wall had been built between them, but now he wondered if all this time that was just an illusion.

The openness of Andy's gaze pierced all lingering reservations Robert had about whether or not this was right for them. Whatever their relationship status, a level of closeness existed beyond formalized titles. The innermost parts of them had both offered consent and nudged them forward.

He kissed her again.

Slower this time, deeper. As Andy's mouth opened in invitation, Robert's tongue delved inside. He was unhurried. Enjoying the feel and texture of their connection at a leisurely pace. One he knew would throw kindling on the fire sizzling between them.

"I've missed you," he muttered, tugging at her bottom lip.

He'd spent years actively practicing disconnection. Holding his attachments to people and things loosely. So many losses, had convinced him of this one thing:

Everyone leaves eventually.

When he'd returned to Seattle, he had no intention of falling in love again. He just wanted freedom from the pain of grief that was always just under the surface and instinctively he knew, healing would start by facing the place he'd left behind.

Andy had changed every plan.

He couldn't pinpoint the exact day, but at some point she'd stubbornly edged her way into his heart and moved in. All this time later, parts and pieces of her still had residence there. Holding her now, their bodies blending after so long... he heard the quiet voice inside whispering, "this is what love feels like."

He wanted the voice to be wrong, but feared it wasn't.

"Me too," Robert heard Andy reply in a voice that sounded etched in sandpaper as he kissed his way down her belly.

She'd learned through experience that letting go was the pathway to the most satisfying release. In the past losing herself in sublime pleasure had become an easy way to avoid pain, intrusive thoughts and drown out the messy complicated issues of life that often felt too big to face.

It also made sex superficial. Transactional even.

The goal had been to escape. To be a tourist somewhere outside herself and just forget for a while. And the formula, once figured out, was duplicatable.

She learned her body, what touch she preferred where and how. When the process was systematized and automatic, when it was just two bodies performing mechanical functions, it was easy for the partner to be interchangeable.

But Robert was a category of one.

He was different and she knew deep down, that's what had been so terrifying. Frustrated and downright angry at times, something in her, outside of will or volition opened up to him. Made her want to expose her shadows.

Those things she couldn't imagine sharing with anyone else, it felt like he could hold. Like he could see the darkness in her and still look at her as if she'd hung the moon.

It gave him power she hadn't wanted anyone to have.

He could both animate and bring her alive or cut deep and wound. No other man before him had that influence and no one since. In the end, that's the reason she had run and pushed him away.

But there was no hiding now.

More significantly she didn't want to. He'd seen her.

The dents, the dings, the messy bits and still his presence radiated love. He'd shown her over and over that he would stay. He'd be there. She was really and truly safe with him no matter what. She could turn off her internal surveillance and just be.

And so she did.

As Robert's tongue danced between her folds, the low hum of ecstasy coursing through Andy's veins grew louder. He couldn't see her face to know she was close to falling off the proverbial cliff, but he didn't need to.

The low moans pouring from her throat, slight tremble of her smooth legs at his shoulders, contracting and releasing muscles around two fingers as they curved. He could feel the tightly wound coil of desire coming undone.

And when she did, he'd get what he wanted.

"Robert." His name fell from her lips like a prayer as she shattered around him. It was ragged from the splintering orgasm he'd coaxed from within.

There was something about the way she said his name that could quite literally bring him to his knees.

Her vibrational tone pulsed through him and filled up empty, hollow spaces. Where he'd been content to exist in grayscale, she threw paint on his inner walls and forced him to see color.

Boneless, helpless almost, as the final trembles bristled through her. Feeling the feather-light presses of Robert's lips against her skin, sent aftershocks through her. Andy felt like he was drinking her in, wringing from every last drop out of something you deeply craved.

And when finally, his full body landed atop hers she sighed in sweet relief.

For a few moments they rested there, not moving, not speaking, just soft lazy kisses. As Andy tilted her hips, Robert slid against her wetness and pushed forward. One stroke, then another, and another, before he was fitted to the hilt.

His eyes closed and bright lights burst behind his lids. He reveled in the feeling of tight, slick heat surrounding him. Hooded eyes opening, he let his forehead rest against hers and moved.

"You're incredible," Robert murmured as their bodies met again and again.

Chest to chest, breath sharing the same rhythm, the openness of Andy's heart enveloped him just as her body received him. It was an invitation for intimacy he couldn't resist lingering in. They hadn't spoken the words and wouldn't, it was a silent pact they were adhering too, but it didn't matter.

Andy felt it and knew he did too.

He was making slow love to her. The kind that left you wondering if your heart might combust. The kind that boomeranged through your whole being and hit you on a cellular level because it was so beautiful yet excruciating all at the same time.

"Don't hold back," She whispered.

Yes, he was going deep, but it was also safe and measured. Like he was concerned that maybe his full force would be too much for her to handle. Like perhaps, she now bore an invisible sign that said, "fragile, handle with care." She didn't need protection from him, though. She wanted all of him, everywhere.

"I'm not," Robert replied with a shallow breath.

She pinned him with a firm, yet playful gaze and squeezed her inner muscles around him.

"Ah!" Robert gasped.

A sharp intake of air and collection of electricity gathered low in his back. Sensation swelled within him. He might be the structure upholding their controlled burn, but she was the flame. Her energy, her fire, was the spark and accelerant.

"You know what I want," Andy offered a low, sultry pout.

Robert chuckled.

"Some things haven't changed," He gave her a knowing smile and kept up the slow cadence of his hips.

As if she were stopping to really ponder his sentiments, Andy closed her eyes for a brief moment.

Sighing deeply, she murmured. "I am who I am."

One of his large hands pulled her smaller one in his and held it tight above her head. Basking in the offering, even as she asked for more. Andy's strong thighs hugged Robert's body to her.

"I love who you are," Robert breathed between kisses.

His admission soothed an ache in a hard to reach place. Like knowing epsom salt in a hot bath soothed sore muscles, even though you didn't understand how, his words answered a question she didn't know she'd had.

"Let me feel you," Andy murmured against Robert's lips, one free hand coasting down his spine over his backside and pulling him tight against her.

"You are," Robert replied simply.

"All of you," she added.

There was an unrelenting desire wedged deep on the inside of him to offer her everything. And while it might feel unwise in the harsh light of day, right now, in this unanticipated portal, it was an easy yes. Whatever she wanted, he'd give it to her.

He deepened their kiss and smirked as he rolled them. Both challenge and invitation glinted in his eyes. If she wanted more, wanted to control the flow of energy between them, he'd happily oblige her.

Her pleasure was his pleasure.

Giving his body up for her to use as she saw fit was a gift for them both. There was no ego here. Just two unguarded hearts, making a mutual commitment to a level of bliss they couldn't create on their own.

A low moan and string of expletives slipped out as they changed angles and Andy moved for the first time above him. Robert grinned. That's what turned him on.

The intimacy of the moment wasn't lost on either of them. Her hips were opened wide, torso covering his and smooth arms outstretched. Messy waves of hair curtaining around them, he felt the difference as her muscles spasm against his hard length.

"Now who's holding back," he teased as she barely moved.

Andy swiped her hair to one side and murmured into the crook of Robert's neck.

Her voice low. "It's just so..." Breathing felt hard to come by, but in the best possible way.

Fullness. Overflow. The deepest parts of him were meeting the deepest parts of her. Physically, sure... but something more. Something intangible. Like right now in this window they were untouched by distance, life or time.

She felt it all.

The way his strong hands gripped her ass. The hardness of his chest being the ground for the soft curve of her breast. The cool air of her bedroom contrasting with their heated forms.

"Yeah," Robert replied a long time later, voice barely above a whisper.

She didn't have to say the full words for him to know exactly what she meant. He'd spent years trying to forget. Trying to convince himself that things weren't as intense or passionate between them. He'd written the internal narrative that let him move on.

Was he crazy to think it was possible?

Sitting up, hands resting on his chest, she rode him in earnest. With each downward motion, Andy clenched and rocked up with each release. Teasing shallow strokes, then deep, she varied her pace and forced Robert to meet her wherever she landed.

"Damn it, Andy," his gritty voice pierced the chorus of moans and sighs between them.

He was so taken by the sight of her above him that he didn't want to close his eyes, but as she increased the tempo, it was hard not to. Biting his lip, he surrendered to the sweetest torture and let the heat build.

Andy shivered, senses on high alert, a light sheen of perspiration coating her skin. With each movement, her clit pressed against Robert's pubic bone and glittery bursts of pleasure shot through her. Another orgasm was nipping at her heels.

"Robert," she breathed in a shaky, hoarse whisper.

Feeling their rhythm transition from smooth to jagged, he knew her next release was near. With one hand he palmed her breast, reached between and found her tight bud.

"Let go," his raspy voice commanded.

She did.

Andy collapsed against his chest, lightly shuddering, a satisfied smile on her lips. Breathing heavy, she tried to collect herself, but before she could, Robert lifted her from him and flipped her onto her stomach.

Mildly discombobulated, a question attempted to form. "What are you—?" It died on her lips.

Robert moved behind her, pulled her hips up and back then thrust forward. "You wanted all of me..." his voice trailed off into a low growl.

He moved forward again in the most deliciously primal way. Earlier in their lovemaking, his body had been a task master, demanding he rush and push, but he hadn't. Even after Andy made her request. He knew what she had been asking for.

Still, Robert held the deep, primal urge at bay. Let his heart crack open and take its fill. Let tenderness lead, but now he'd give them both what they wanted. He would surrender to the wild hunger and do the one thing he typically avoided.

Lose control.

"You get all of me," he added.

Andy didn't know which way was up, could barely find air. With the angle their bodies kept meeting and each thrust pushing up against the collection of nerves at her front, she was done.

She peaked again.

"Yes!" she heard a voice cry out that sounded like her own, but seemed too mangled to really be hers.

He kept moving.

It didn't matter that she felt spent or thought every ounce of pleasure had already been wrung out of her. With each determined stroke, it was clear Robert had decided to share more of himself. To expand both of their capacities for more pleasure.

Her body said, "no you've had enough," at first.

You've reached the max amount of magic your body can hold. Leaning into her edge, breathing deep into her belly, letting everything open and getting lost to everything but this precise space in time, the scales tipped.

Her body quaked, shuddered. The crackle of heat from Robert's sweat slicked form, the heaviness of his weight. She'd asked for his fullness, his presence, all of him. The raw unadulterated truth he might hide in conversation, but impossible to conceal when they made love.

It was here now.

Their bodies telling the full story. Who they were and what they felt naked, open hearted, loving each other… it was the most honest part of themselves.

Andy's garbled whimpers and groans shredding his ability to hold back his release any more, Robert didn't fight off the tension. He let every single sensation crest over. Her muscles fluttered around him again and again signaling just how close she was. Reaching around her small frame he detonated her and surrendered to his own release.

"Andy…" Robert's voice rumbled.

She tried to find words as another orgasm barreled down on her. Tried to utter an expression but nothing came out, only inaudible moans tumbled loosely from her lips. Was she alive? It was hard to tell. She ceased to exist. No thought. Just sensation. No separation between where he ended and she began.

"Ughhh..." Andy growled into a pillow moments later. After rooting around to locate a brain cell, she added, "I hate that we're still so good at that."

Heart racing, body tingling, Robert laughed and collapsed onto the bed next to her, "Do you really hate it?"

LATER…

"I'm sorry," Robert said. "We didn't…I didn't use protection." He corrected, hearing the water shut off and Andy emerged from the bathroom.

"I didn't stop you," she interrupted and slid her naked body back between the still warm sheets.

"No excuse," Robert countered as he took in the view of her side profile. God he loved her this way. Hair a tousled mess, cheeks still slightly tinged from pleasure. "It was irresponsible."

"Relax," Andy said with a smirk. "I'm still on the pill."

Rolling to her side, a hand threading through messy curls, she propped her head up to see Robert better in the dim light. He was laying on his back, one defined arm stretched up over his head and staring straight up at the ceiling.

His thoughts were on spin cycle, she could tell.

She knew him. The way his lips pursed, brows furrowed and forehead creased lightly... They were subtle tells.

"Safe bet," he said after a moment. It wasn't a stretch to assume she wasn't rolling the dice on motherhood these days.

She chuckled uncomfortably and took a long breath. "God...I'm such a mess. Could you imagine me as someone's mother?"

The question was largely rhetorical so Robert debated whether or not to laugh it off with her or share his honest thoughts. Considering what they'd just done and what they'd likely do again, he was leaning towards truth, but for now humor won out.

"Well your car does say future soccer mom," Robert teased as he adjusted himself. Now, leaning back into the pillow…

The corners of his mouth curled upwards and he waited for her rebuttal.

"What?" Andy, screeched loudly and punched him in the side. Robert reached a hand out swiftly to protect himself. "My car is fine."

"Your Subaru is one step below a Volvo," he added with a shrug.

"It's a crossover with all wheel drive. Perfect for rock climbing or just getting around Seattle," Andy defended.

"So does my Lexus without saying I'm headed to a double header for my second grader," Robert replied easily.

"Pleeease!" She argued. "Your car is definitely NOT giving sexy and single the way you think it is. More like aging investment banker with a house in the 'burbs and standing tennis match on Thursdays."

"Ouch," he feigned a grumble before laughter took over.

"I forgot how funny you are," Andy said after recovering from their laughter.

"Was that a compliment?" Robert flirted with a subtle glint in his eyes.

"Fishing for one?" Andy questioned slyly.

A breath of silence passed between them.

"Jokes aside," Robert murmured through a small yawn. "You'd be a great mom."

Moved in a way hard to put into words, Andy looked over to see if the expression on Robert's face would tell her more, but it didn't.

He felt her gaze before he could see her. Seeing her reaction he exclaimed. "What?" His shoulders shrugged lightly. "I've seen you with Pru."

Andy went silent for a moment as she considered a response. She'd never thought of herself as parent material. Okay… that wasn't completely true. She had fleeting thoughts about the idea or possibility of it, but it was hard to truly envision.

Her parents loved her, that she was certain of, but they also made some pretty terrible choices that impacted her life a lot. She couldn't imagine navigating the pressure of not screwing up a kid.

"You think so?" She asked quietly.

Looking for a way to lighten the mood, Robert cracked a joke. "I'm not angling for Baby Daddy or anything, but yeah."

Andy smoothed the sheet over top of her naked form and laughed again.

"Well," she said with a smile. "Thanks, I guess. Nice to know you think a hot mess express like me, could be trusted with tiny humans."

After a few soft chuckles, silence passed between them.

"Since we're talking hypothetical children, I think you'd be a great dad too," Andy added, thoughtfully. "Overprotective, but aren't they all?"

"Thanks," Robert mumbled a little uncomfortably.

"Why didn't we ever talk about this when we were married and it was an actual possibility?" He added a beat later.

"One bleeder at a time." Andy easily shared the words Ben had used to help her find perspective when everything seemed like it was dissolving into chaos.

"Warren told me that years ago..." She clarified.

"Ahhh..." Robert nodded his head. The analogy made more sense now.

"We didn't have time," Her voice wrought with exasperation. "Was there a single moment we weren't caught in a riptide?"

Robert chuckled. "Good point."

"Honestly, everything we went through seems so insane. I almost wouldn't believe it if I hadn't lived it." Andy's voice showed hints of annoyance and obvious frustration.

Lifting a hand, she counted off, "Let's see... we've got the sick dad, then the dead dad, then the dead mom not really being dead, on top of your injury, surgery, recovery, a global pandemic?"

"Ryan, the demotion, the separation, the kidnapped girls and my night in jail, oh the extended family...and that doesn't even include our fights about work," Robert added.

He avoided going into how Pruitt had come to him and all but confessed to his illness and emotionally blackmailed him into promoting Maya. Sure... he'd had a role in that, but in his defense, with his leg, the fentanyl... he just wasn't in the best position to be making decisions.

Shaking her head. "So like I was saying..."

"Finding a freaking life raft felt impossible some days." Andy's voice trailed off as she reflected.

"Yeah..." Robert's voice was a bit dejected as they replayed the circumstances of their rise and fall.

In unique ways, they had both been drowning.

Occasionally trying to save one another, when in reality, they both needed to take care of themselves. While he was good with where they were now, he wondered if maybe they'd actually completed the 90 day separation to get on stronger footing alone, if things could have turned out differently.

"So what didn't you say?" Andy asked.

"Huh?" Robert feigned ignorance.

Andy gave him a look that said don't make me spell it out.

Rolling his eyes, he replied with a humorous tone. "It's kind of annoying that you can read me as well as you do."

"And don't you forget it." She grinned knowingly.

It was the reason, despite his denials and attempts to evade her inquiries about Ross, she knew something was up.

"Also you..." Andy added. "Showing up on my doorstep after that house fire kind of makes it seem like you still read me pretty well too. Maybe, we're even?"

Robert's head nodded a bit.

All these reminders were laced with the subtle question of why. He'd disregarded it earlier, but it was back with a vengeance. With all the reasons they made sense, why had staying together been hard to do?

He eventually said, "The kid thing." His eyebrows flattened and he cleared his throat. "It felt like testing fate."

She noticed the subtle change in his demeanor, "What do you mean?" Andy inquired as she turned her body towards him.

"When I left the marines, I planned to get a boring desk job, settle down. I wanted it all. Wife, kids, house with a big yard." Robert thought back to the few weeks he'd spent as an entry level workerbee in the operations department of a security company.

Andy smiled, "You do look good in a suit, but I can't imagine you in an office job. Seems like you'd be bored out of your mind."

"I was..." he stretched a bit. "Firefighting was a good compromise. I could help, be the person running into the fight and make it home for dinner most days."

She listened intently.

"After Claire, that changed," His tone was a bit wistful. "I didn't think I'd ever find someone I lo-"

He corrected himself. "I wanted to commit to like that again so I accepted that kids were off the table. And when you and I found some semblance of happiness- in spite of the crazy, it seemed best not to hope for more than that."

Heart aching, looking beyond him towards the window, Andy pondered her reply.

She wanted to shake her fist at God sometimes, for all the crap they'd both been through. It was a reminder why they both had seemed to understand each other's hard exterior. It's like the losses they'd both faced at different times of life had given them a secret key card, with VIP access to knowing one another.

"I think when life is filled with so much loss and disappointment, hope can be hard to come by." Her words were raw and honest.

Silently, Robert agreed with a nod.

"Did you ever think about it," he questioned gently. The "with us" was silent.

"Sometimes…" Andy replied softly.

"We'd respond to a family or be out getting food... I'd see couples with kids. Wondered what it would be like." She admitted. "Then in rapid succession my mind would serve up images of my screwed up childhood, you basically raising yourself, our careers and I could never see how it would work."

Robert nodded in agreement. He'd felt the same way.

The room drew quiet.

"These have to be the worst after sex talking points ever," Robert finally said.

The pair laughed loudly together.

"Because there are good talking points for a divorced couple who just fell into bed?" Andy posed, lightheartedly.

"I carried you, we didn't fall," Robert said a bit smugly.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well I'm out of practice anyway." An awkward laugh followed.

It had been longer than she wanted to remember since she had to be concerned with post sex conversations.

Robert waited for her to explain.

Tucking a hand underneath her neck and looking up at the ceiling, she repositioned herself.

"I gave myself a rule," Andy confessed under the low lights.

"A rule?" he questioned. "You hate rules."

She chuckled to herself again. "Three dates."

It seemed silly now. "After everything... It felt like stronger, clear boundaries were a good call. Enter the three date minimum…" Her voice trailed off a bit.

Robert realized where she was going with her statement.

"You're a responsible, consenting adult, Andy. If you wanna spend the night with someone, you should be able to. It should be safe," his tone was firm.

Quickly he added. "I don't wanna think about it..." Andy nudged him slightly. "...but it should be safe."

"I know." she nodded her head in agreement.

"And I think it is, more often than not." She paused. "I might change my mind at some point, but for now it feels like a good line."

"Did you ever..." Robert wasn't sure if he should ask, but he'd been concerned about how she'd dealt with it all. "Did you ever talk to anyone?"

Andy paused for a moment before responding.

She swallowed hard. "Thought about it. Does that count?" A light smile crossed over her face.

"Step in the right direction, I guess." Robert gingerly offered.

"You know me... I'm more of a figure it out on your own kind of girl..." Andy murmured.

"Yeah..." Robert nodded thoughtfully.

"Read some books, some blogs, lurked in some groups for survivors on Facebook. And it just... I wanted to do something. To get on with living so that's when I got the idea to start the self-defense classes for women." Andy's voice was far away as she spoke.

"I've been meeting with Richard weekly and it's still hard to open up sometimes... helps though," his voice was low and soft. "Talking might help you too."

"I'll think about it," Andy offered with genuine promise.

A brief moment of quiet passed where both were lost in their own thoughts.

"So we're clear," Robert followed up. "This post sex conversation is NOT any better."

They laughed together again and it broke up the silence that had been hovering.

The smile evident in his voice."You broke your three date rule tonight. What does that make me?" Robert joked to lighten the mood.

"Should I be concerned about your self esteem, Robert?" Andy teased.

"As if I need a compliment at this point in the night." He was kind enough not to point out the multiple orgasms she'd just had, but the look in his eyes said it all.

She shifted again and saw his playful grin even under the dim light. "You are… an asterisk."

"An asterisk?" Robert repeated in a tone that conveyed his amusement.

"The exception to the rule," Andy said with a knowing smile.

"Hmm…" Robert muttered with a nod.

"Hmm, what?" She asked, the expression on his face was hard to read.

He shook his head before silently slipping out of bed and searching the floor for discarded boxer briefs.

Confused, Andy asked, "Where are you going?"

A sly sexy grin played out over his face. "You need water if I'm gonna be an asterisk… again," Robert said over his shoulder.

Returning his subtle grin, Andy's body flushed in anticipation as she checked out his perfectly formed ass on his way out of her bedroom.

THE NEXT MORNING….

As Robert laid in bed, the sun just barely peeking through the blinds, he'd woken up with his mind replaying Andy's last words as she drifted off to sleep last night.

"What did we do?" she mumbled.

On his back, one arm resting haphazardly above his head and staring straight up at the ceiling Robert sighed deeply at their predicament. For starters, he'd be paying for the lack of sleep later. He didn't remember exactly what time they'd drifted off but it was late.

More importantly, in the light of day, he was both wise enough and honest enough to admit they'd muddied the waters a lot in the past twelve hours.

Glancing over at his ex-wife, resting on her stomach, creamy skin and tousled waves on full display. Taking in the relaxed, peaceful expression on her face, softened his insides. Vulnerability reigned last night as she ran full force toward the thing typically avoided.

Deciding that smoothing out the parts of them were jagged was more important than her emotional comfort, she cracked herself open and let him see the deepest parts of her. Her nakedness and conviction as she gifted him the truth had been irresistible.

And as if they were launched into an alternate universe or time simply stopped they said I love you again and again without ever uttering the words.

With every kiss, every release, every moment they stared into each other's eyes, they were confirming their shared truth. They didn't just still love each other, they were in love with each other.

Echoing Andy's words, Robert murmured to himself, "What did we do?"

They stood at a crossroads now. Two choices looming. Let it be one amazing night and move forward towards the opposite paths beckoning them or detour well-laid plans for another quest into unknown territory.

Debating internally, he slipped out of bed and went in search of his discarded clothing.

Andy woke slowly a short while later

Rolling from her side to her back, eyes still closed, she knew the bed next to her was empty. Images of the night before collected in her mind and her lips curved upward into a smile.

It had been a good night.

That felt a little like an understatement, but her brain was still trying to come online so it would have to do. It was well into the night when they'd drifted off to sleep, but she wasn't surprised to find Robert had slipped out without waking her.

It's probably what she would have done.

Disappointment and relief dueled within her. Stretching a little as she sat up, it occurred to her that there was a slight shuffle of noise coming from the kitchen.

Scant moments later, Robert's partially dressed form came into view. Bare chest, rock-hard abs on full display, his gray t-shirt slung over one shoulder and carrying two cups of coffee.

Clutching the sheet and bringing her knees up to her body, Andy spoke first. "You're still here."

Robert smiled softly and handed her the warm mug. "You thought I wouldn't be?" He caught Andy's eyes scanning him appreciatively and smiled.

She allowed herself the luxury of staring at him without shame. Yes, she'd seen it all before and yes, they occasionally crossed paths at the station to and from showers, but this felt different. Him standing comfortably, half dressed, sipping his morning coffee in her bedroom, knowing how'd they'd spent the night before.

Jesus, it was a potent combination.

Andy took a long sip before answering and finding Robert's eyes again. "It occurred to me that you might wanna avoid any morning after awkwardness."

Eyebrows raised just slightly, teasing flashed through his eyes. "You mean, you would've slipped out," Robert said with a straight face.

Andy laughed a little, covering up the slight cringe at being read so easily and took another sip of coffee.

"Can't say I didn't miss this," she eventually said.

Was any woman ever mad at coffee service in bed by an attractive man?

Robert took his own long drag and tried to read her. "You never have been a morning person."

Searching her face, he breathed a low sigh of relief at not finding any regret there.

"True," Andy replied.

"You really should've sprung for the espresso machine," Robert teased lightheartedly.

She rolled her eyes. "My coffee pot is reliable. And the moka pot is great for espresso."

Robert gave her a playful disapproving stare, "Sure."

"We both know that expensive machine you insisted we buy, hated me," Andy fired back. "I swear it was cursed or something."

He'd made fun of her endlessly during married life for never being able to perfect a cup of coffee with their fancy machine.

"User error," Robert replied dryly.

Taking another long drink then placing his mug down on her dresser, he pulled his t-shirt over his head as Andy watched in comfortable silence. Robert could feel the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out what to do or say, but he'd already decided.

As he redressed and made coffee, Robert boxed up the feelings he let breathe last night and put them back in his heart's closet. They were both in good places and needed to move forward with their lives. The smart play was letting one amazing night, just be that.

Clearing her throat and sensing their window of opportunity closing, Andy asked, "Do we need to talk about this?"

"You attacking me last night?" A sexy grin formed, as Robert joked.

"What?!" her eyes bugged. "That is definitely not what happened."

Robert laughed at her response, slipped his shoes on and walked around to her side of the bed.

"Relax, I'm teasing." His tone was easy and casual. "And...if you're good, I'm good."

Andy searched his eyes, she wasn't sure what for, but knew instinctively there was only one right answer here. This wasn't the time or place for her to think about the big complicated feelings bubbling up under the surface... which making love had only expanded.

"I'm good," she lied and ran a hand through her loose, messy waves.

She was very, very not good. Well her body felt good, but that is not what they were talking about and they both knew it.

Robert leaned down and placed a quick, chaste kiss on Andy's lips. "I'll see you on shift, then."

With that, he left her apartment and headed home to shower before starting work.

THANKS FOR READING!

Chapter 5 is already coming along nicely... Yay for the Muse staying in the guest room. Drop your thoughts below and/or answer this Q: Why do you think Robert is putting his feels back in the "closet" again when it seems clear that Andy might want more?

XO, Ash