A/N: Hey everypeoples, I'm back!!! You can totally blame the HBO miniseries "Band of Brothers" for inspiring this rule!


8. Ripcord, stop singing "Blood on the Risers" when teaching new greenshirts how to parachute from aircraft.


To be fair to Ripcord, he couldn't help himself. After all, it's practically his theme song! But, he really should've known better than to sing that particular song to a group of people who have never made a jump from a perfectly good airplane...


"See, Top?, Ah told yew it was a good idea to put Ripcord in charge of trainin' greenshirts for parachutin'.", said Beach Head.

"Beach, you're a genius. I don't know why we didn't do this earlier.", added Duke with a grin as they watched the Joe in question do the "Airborne Shuffle" with a platoon of greenshirts, complete with full packs and laser rifles. The greenshirts were actually doing pretty good keeping up with the HALO jumper, thanks to Beach Head's PT. (Of course by PT I mean Physical Torture, but hey, same difference.) As they ran they sang a cadence:

"We pull upon the risers,

We fall upon the grass.

Never landing on our feet,

We always hit our ass!

Hidy-Tidy, cripes 'o mighty,

Who the hell are We?

Zim-Zam, hot damn,

We're Airborne Infantry!"

Lady Jaye walked up to the two men humming the same cadence as she watched the greenshirts shuffle along, "I haven't heard that since I was in jump school. The black hats loved singing that one!" She chuckled.

Beach head nodded in agreement, "Ah was sangin' it durin' mah instructor days at Fort Benning. Good times, Good times.", the Ranger said with an air of nostalgia.

"Did you make them eat spaghetti first?", asked Lady Jaye with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope, Ah made 'em eat steak.", said Beach Head.

"That's mean, Beach.", said Duke.

The Sergeant Major grinned under his balaclava, "Ah'm a Ranger, Top. Ah'm supposed to be mean."


One week later, it was time for the greenshirts to start jump training. A few were a bit nervous about jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, yet at the same time all of them were excited about it.

"Are we ready to learn to parachute from a plane?!" Asked Ripcord.

"Yes, Corporal Ripcord!", replied the greenshirts.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOOOUUU!!!", yelled the HALO jumper.

"YES, CORPORAL RIPCORD!!!", they yelled even louder.

Ripcord nodded, "Good. Today, we'll be jumping from a ceiling of 1,500 feet. I know some of you are nervous about jumping from a plane, but just remember your training. Make sure you're pulling a good slip, and most importantly, keep your feet and knees together. Okay, let's get ready."

Ripcord checked all the greenshirts' jump rigs and made sure that their equipment was safe. Once he was satisfied that they were all A-OK, he ordered them into the waiting C-130 Hercules. The greenshirts boarded the aircraft and within ten minutes, the transport was wheels-up.


As the plane left the ground, Ripcord thought about how lucky he was. From his Civil Air Patrol experience to skydiving, then to joining the elite ranks of the U.S. Army Airborne. And as if it couldn't get any better, He got the opportunity to become the first HALO jumper for the best task force within the whole U.S. Armed Forces!

As the plane began to ascend he began to sing:

"He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright,

He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight,

He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar,

YOU AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MOOORE!

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

YOU AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MOOORE!"


Down on the ground, Duke, Beach Head and Lady Jaye were watching the plane as it slowly but steadily flew towards the drop zone.

"Well, here they come.", Said Lady Jaye.

"Good," said Duke, "Okay, you two, binoculars out and up."

The three pulled out their binoculars and looked at the plane, which had its side door open.

"Think any of them will chicken out?", asked the actress.

"Pfft, if any of 'em clowns try, Ah'll make 'em wish they had jumped.", grumbled Beach Head.

They watched as the plane flew over. But to their surprise, only one figure jumped from the Herc. It was a green 'chute, which signified it was Ripcord, but none of the greenshirts' white parachutes could be seen!

"What are those clowns waiting for?", grumbled Duke.

"Ah dunno Top, but if them pogues don't jump, they'll have hell to pay!", snarled Beach Head.

They waited for another ten minutes, but no more chutes filled the sky. By now, Beach Head was pissed and was cursing up a storm as Duke radioed Wild Bill and Lift-Ticket to land the plane immediately.

After the Hercules landed and it's ramp was lowered, the three observers were shocked to see all the greenshirts run out in terror! As they ran away, they could be heard screaming things like "NOOOO!!!!", or "I DON'T WANNA GO SPLAAAAT!!!!!!"

Lady Jaye blinked in confusion, "Okaaay, what was THAT all about?", she asked.

Beach Head was just as confused as her, "Ah have no clue, but Ah think they got spooked or somethin'", he drawled.

Then, Wild Bill and Lift-Ticket stepped out of the cockpit area laughing their heads off about something.

"What the hell happened up there?!", snapped Duke, "Why didn't they jump?!"

"Because-heehee-of Ripcord!", chuckled Lift-Ticket.

"WHAT THE HELL DID THAT STUPID YAHOO DO THIS TIME????!!!!!", roared Beach Head.

"He-hahahah-He-pfft.", Wild Bill struggled to say what he wanted to say because of his laughter.

"What, what did he do?", asked Lady Jaye.

"HE WAS SINGIN' BLOOD ON THE RISERS!!!", howled Wild Bill as he and Lift-Ticket collapsed into even more fits of laughter, as Duke, Beach Head, and Lady Jaye facepalmed.


Ripcord soon found himself in Hawk's office explaining why the greenshirts chickened out of the jump. By the time he finished his story, the Brigadier General was trying desperately not to let out a belly laugh at the situation.

After composing himself, Hawk was able to address the HALO jumper; "Ripcord, I think you owe those greenshirts an apology for scaring them like that. You shouldn't be singing that song around people who've never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane, ESPECIALLY when they're on a plane about to do it for the first time. Although I must admit, it was pretty funny. Still, don't ever do it again, is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir. Sorry Sir.", said Ripcord, "I don't blame you for being mad at me."

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Ripcord", said Hawk, "but if you'll just head over to the auditorium you'll find quite a few Joes who are."

Ripcord gulped.


Sure enough, Ripcord found himself in the auditorium with an angry Duke, Beach Head, Lady Jaye, Stalker, Falcon, Scarlett, Airborne, Footloose, and Snake-Eyes.

Duke was the first to speak, "Okay Ripcord, two things, One: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!", roared the First Sergeant.

"Sorry Duke, I just got carried away, that's all. But don't worry, I won't sing that around first time jumpers anymore, I promise.", said the HALO jumper.

"Well good," said Beach Head, "But that ain't what pissed us off."

"It's not?", said a confused Ripcord.

"Nope.", said Scarlett "But what DID piss us off was that you sang Blood on the Risers without your fellow Airborne qualified Joes!"

"Like, yeah man,", added Footloose, "you can't leave us out like that!"

"Even I'm pissed, and I can't even sing for crying out loud!", signed Snake-Eyes.

"Oh, sorry guys," Chuckled Ripcord.

"But there is a way you can make it up to us..." said Lady Jaye with a smile.


After the other Airborne qualified Joes snapped at Ripcord for singing Blood on the Risers without them, they were all singing it in the auditorium:

"The ambulance was on the spot, the Jeeps were runnin" wild

The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled their sleeves and smiled

For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed

AND HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MOOORE!

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

Gory, gory, whatta heluva way to die,

HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MOOORE!"

Being the only Joe who couldn't sing, Snake-Eyes stood in front of the group directing them like a choir. It made for a hell of a show to those who watched, such as the small group of Joes gathered at the door.

"Can you believe this crap?", said Dial-Tone as he shook his head at the sight.

"Nope", Bazooka answered.

"What I'm about to say may sound whack, but Airborne Joes are crazy, and that's a fact.", put in Roadblock.

"That's putting it mildly." Chuckled Alpine.


So Ripcord got off rather easily, as far as punishments go.

As for the greenshirts' parachute training, they were able to work up courage to try again - after three months!


A/N: Okay everyone, I'm sorry for the long delay for an update, but I had to put fanfiction on the back burner for these reasons:

1. My Father had a health scare, but treatment was successful, thank God. He's doing just fine now. My Father played with the original G.I. Joe toys in the early 1960s. I believe he had the action paratrooper. I often tell him my stories before I write them, and if he laughs, I know I've got a good story! One things for sure though, My Father, Mother, and myself have all grown even closer as a family!

2. Work got busier over the summer, as thats the peak in the fast food business, so I've been working more.

3. Lastly, I've suffered from writer's block. Hey, it was bound to happen sooner or later, right?

Up next Rule 9!