Chapter Twelve:

Dangerous Business in The Dark Web


Mario, SMG4, Bob, and Axol, with the chonk-ified Melony in tow, decided to use a Warp Pipe to make their trip to the Dark Web a little easier. After heading out, the group found a large green pipe in the field, not too far from the grounds of Peach's Castle.

They all thought about where they wanted to go, and then, they leaped into the Warp Pipe together. Axol held Melony in her basket close to himself as tightly as he could, ensuring that she wasn't lost in another Warp Zone somewhere by accident.

As the group made their journey through the swirling warp of space-and-time, flashes of green, blue and red flooded their eyes. Seconds later, a light surrounded the group and they emerged from another Warp Pipe in a leafy countryside. Their feet touched solid ground, even as their knees buckled, and the pipe they'd exited shook before sinking into the earth.

And then, it was gone and the quartet was all alone.

Axol pat Melony on the head, seeing she was still asleep in the basket, snoring gently as she lay against the side of her carrier. Even in Chonk form, that green-haired watermelon waifu could sleep through anything.

"Looks-a like we're somewhere else." Mario remarked, surveying the surroundings, "This doesn't look like we're in-a the Dark Web."

"LoL, bUt We'Re NeAr It." Bob quipped, "SeE tHe SiGn RiGhT tHeRe?"

The robed Garo pointed with his blade hand and the group looked up, seeing the crooked sign post pointing right, towards a valley of rocks and barren trees, with the words reading; 'To The Dark Web, beware of danger.'

"It won't be too bad as long as Melony doesn't get exposed to anything scary." Axol said, "The Dark Web is where people go to conduct shady business and engage in very dark activities. I've heard a lot of things about this place, especially with how people have gone here and likely never return alive."

"Pfft." Mario scoffed, "Mario was there in that place with SMG4 and SMG3 a few weeks ago and we made it out without much of a scratch. This is nothing compared to Bowser's many castles I visited when saving Peach's ass or when we raided Anime Island to save Meggy from that ugly lizard boy Francis and his crazy anime fantasies..."

"WoW, DuDe. YoU aCtUaLlY tHiNk So?" Bob asked sarcastically.

"Anime Island is a different story and Francis was on another level." SMG4 told the Garo and the fat Italian.

Bob's eyes lit up as if he was trying hard not to laugh, "LMAO! I cAn GuArAnTeE yOu ThAt MeMbErS oF tHe AnImE cArTeL oPeRaTeD fRoM tHiS jOiNt BeFoRe We LaUnChEd OuR D-DaY iNvAsIoN rEeNaCtMeNt RaId On ThEiR IsLaNd HiDeOuT AnD GoKu BlEw ThE pLaCe AlL ThE WaY oVeR tHe 9000 MaRk."

"My knowledge of everything I don't know isn't even over the 9000 mark." SMG4 then said, half-exaggerating, "How about a little less chatter about other things and we get moving? We got a USB to find and we don't have all day to linger, not when we're close to dangerous territory."

Mario, Axol and Bob glanced at each other and nodded, agreeing with the meme man.

He was right, there was no point in dwelling on the past and other things when they were in the middle of an important quest, not when they were at the border of a dangerous land. They walked past the sign and followed the arrow pointing the way into the valley, to the entrance to the underworld.

It was no good to turn back, not when they were all passing the threshold. A great veil of mist lay ahead and the group took in the rocks, and tall, leafless trees around them. It wasn't long until the rocks got bigger, and hillsides began to loom over them, casting shadows upon Mario and SMG4, Bob, Melony and Axol like phantoms preying on the weak.

They walked past another tree devoid of leaves and spotted a black cloaked figure near a stand, selling shady items with hideous symbols, then they saw a pair of Koopas around a fire as they chanted in some mysterious dialect.

At this point, they had entered the Dark Web and, to SMG4, it hadn't changed much since the last time he'd visited.

When he last visited with Mario, they'd been captured by corrupted memes and taken to that cathedral. This time, they were here on their own free will, to find answers.

"BeSt PlAcE tO gO iF wE'rE gOiNg To FiNd WhAt We'Re LoOkInG fOr Is In ThE CiTy." Bob told the others, "If YoU tRy To TaLk To AnY oF tHeSe FoLkS fOr AnYtHiNg, ToUgH lUcK bEcAuSe ThIs PaRt Of ThE DaRk WeB iS wHerE yOu DeAl WiTh IlLeGaL WeApOnS DeAlErS, HaCkErS, sCaMmErS, cAnNiBaLs, PiRaTeS aNd OtHeR sHaDy NoObs."

"MARIO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Axol shouted.

Mario had caught sight of a Super Mushroom sitting on a table next to a mushroom with a T symbol on it and the fat Italian walked up to the small 'shroom store, his eyes alit with curiosity. The masked dealer, wearing a dusty coat, leaned over his side of the table to look at Mario.

"I'd like to-a have that Super Shroom." The dim-witted plumber requested.

The dealer drew a knife and pointed it at Mario, who yelped in alarm. "And how much are you willing to trade?" The rogue salesman asked, "I can take your liver as payment, we also accept blood donations. In fact, which will you exchange for the mushroom?"

SMG4 rushed in and pulled Mario away as fast as he could with wide eyes. "Maybe another day..." He said to the dealer in a hurried manner, "Bye-bye."

"Mama mia!" Mario exclaimed, "That hobo could have cut Mario up..."

"Yeah, never purchase anything in the Dark Web, unless you're SMG3 and its weapons from the black market." SMG4 told him, "Man, thank goodness I got you outta there as fast as I could."

He and Mario met back up with Axol and Bob, who were relieved to see the latter was alright, then they carried onward through the ominous region, keeping an eye on their drab and eerie surroundings just in case there was trouble waiting for them, waiting to get the jump on the travelers and take the gang by surprise.

SMG4 pulled out his phone and texted ShadowSquid9, he told him that he and 'the bois' were here and asked the Octoling where he was right now, the meme man put away the mobile device and waited for a while for his friend to text back. Hopefully, it wouldn't take ShadowSquid9 long to reply to the message.

The group walked around an ominous-looking tree and ducked under one of its gnarly branches, noting how sharp the tips appeared to be. Axol, Bob, Mario and SMG4 treaded around a pile of rocks resembling skulls, shivering as they took in how creepy the place was. The group kept their eyes peeled, staring into the mist ahead, and watched for hidden traps.

A large rock appeared out of the shadows, taking on a shape that resembled a demon's head, with two torches resting on the left and right side of its face as if to serve as the demon rock's eyes. The quartet walked on, paying little attention to the creepy-looking stone. While it wasn't alive, it nearly felt like the rock was watching them silently, with ominous glowing red eyes.

Mario shivered as he stared into the fog, staring at the shadows of the gnarly trees that lay ahead through the mist, and an owl hooted somewhere in the distance.

Despite the fat Italian's small IQ level, he was unnerved by what the Dark Web had to offer here, and something told him that Wario and Waluigi, with all of their criminal activities, would feel right at home in this place.

Wherever they were right now, both Wario and Waluigi were probably wishing they could use the Dark Web as a hideout while they ran from Hal Monitor after stealing money again. Heck, perhaps Morshu could find benefits from selling bombs in this place, should the Mushroom Kingdom decide to ban bombs like it had with anime a few years prior.

In fact, was it possible that the Dark Web was the only safe place in the Mushroom Kingdom to indulge in anime-related activities during the madness of Peach's anime ban?

SMG4 heard a buzz in his pocket and pulled out his phone, seeing that ShadowSquid9 had texted back:

'I'm close by.' The message said.

CRUNCH!

"Who's there?" Axol yelled, he held up his hands in a judo stance, ready to fight at any moment.

Bob whipped out his blades with a serious look in his eyes. "ShOw YoUrSeLf, NoOb!" He yelled, "I kNoW yOu'Re ClOsE bY aNd I hAvE a PaRtIcUlAr SeT oF sKiLlS tHaT I aM rEaDy To UsE, YoU dOn'T wAnT tO uNdErEsTiMaTe A bLaDe MaStEr!"

"Whoa! Take it easy there!" A black-haired Octoling boy wearing a black coat and boots stepped out of the bushes, smiling uneasily and holding his hands up in a slight surrender gesture, "It's just me."

"ShadowSquid9!" SMG4 ran towards the humanoid octopus and hugged him, "How've you been, buddy?"

"Great, thanks for asking, SMG4." SS9 pat the meme man on the shoulder, "Sorry I took a while to meet up with you, I, uh, had to get away from some folks, they're very hard to deal with and I owe a guy some money. It's not easy making deals in this place, I can tell you that, especially with the folks in the scam business who swing by the Dark Web every few days."

"Hey, it's-a so nice to-a see you again, Shady Octo-Boy Nine." Mario quipped with a wave.

"Yeah, it sure is nice. Thanks for helping SMG4 regain his sanity, it's really scary that I didn't know what was going on when he didn't reply to my texts."

"Yo, BrO." Bob piped up, "DiD yOu MaNaGe To ShAkE tHoSe FoLkS yOu HaD tRoUbLe WiTh, YoU wErEn'T fOlLoWeD, WeRe YoU?"

ShadowSquid9 barely had time to speak when twigs crunched and the gang picked up the sound of hurried footsteps heading in their direction. A voice yelled out, telling SS9 that he could not hide, and knife-sharpening noises carried through the vicinity.

Just then, a squat bearded man with a pirate hat appeared from the thicket with a dagger and a knife sharpener, accompanied by an black Inkling with an eye-patch.

A second later, a dark-gray Toad wearing red-black sunglasses and a prison uniform joined the two, followed by a tall, half-skinny creature that rivaled the Slender Man and Siren Head in size with a small eyes and a crooked nose.

"You owe me money, ya sleazy Octoling!" The man with the pirate hat shouted as a Pianta in a dusty black suit appeared alongside the group, "No one scams me and the boys!"

"Whoa, take it easy there, T'lo'rfin." ShadowSquid9 replied with a waving hand, "You'll get your money soon, I'm not trying to con you and your team. Aren't we all busy dealing with different people at the same time or at different times? Honestly, it's just business and nobody should take it too personally if one heads off to do business with someone else."

"Did ya forget? You played dirty and cheated in the last card game, ya shady bastard!" T'lo'rfin shook his fist, his other hand clutching the handle of his dagger, "You owe me twelve hundred dollars! TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Now, that's quite the debt to be payin' there, Samuel T. Octosquidle."

"Honestly, in a situation such as this since you accuse me of cheating, I'd say 'cheating is a legitimate strategy'." ShadowSquid9 chuckled, "But, technically speaking, I'm not the cheater here. Seriously, guys, I'm a fair-playing Octo, while the rest of you always resort to your brand of scumminess."

"Who's 'Samuel T. Octosquidle'?" Mario asked.

ShadowSquid9 looked at the fat Italian with a slight chuckle. "Yeah..." He said, "That's... That's my real name, but you guys can still call me ShadowSquid9 if you want."

"OMG, I dId NoT sEe ThAt CoMiNg!" Bob exclaimed, "YoU HaVe To AdMiT tHaT fOlKs LeArNiNg YoUr ReAl NaMe In ThE DaRk WeB iS cRaZy AF. In FaCt, iF We'Re GoInG tO bE DrOpPiNg NoObS' rEaL nAmEs HeRe, HoW aBoUt I tElL yOu BoYs AbOuT SuPeRMaRiOGlItChYFoUr'S rEaL iDeNtItY? SMG4's ReAl NaMe iS aCtUaLlY LuKe Ler..."

SMACK! SMG4 kicked the robed Garo, causing him to crash into a tree.

"Ow, My UnDeRwOrLd OvAl EgGs!" The ex-rapper exclaimed.

"Maybe you should leave ShadowSquid and the rest of us alone!" Axol told the T'lo'rfin's group.

"Perhaps we will if you give us that chonk." Black Toad said, gesturing to the sleeping Chonk Melony resting on Axol's back, "How much are you willing to take if you sell us that cute li'l item you're carrying, would you say four million and three hundred and sixty-five dollars?"

Mario and SMG4 stepped forward. "You're not taking Melony, you tight bastards." SMG4 said fiercely.

"We tried doing this the easy way, now we're doing it the hard way!" T'lo'rfin shouted, holding up his dagger, "LET'S GET THEM, BOYS!"

T'lo'rfin's associates bellowed in agreement and the gang all braced themselves for action. In moments, both groups were fighting. SMG4 kicked T'lo'rfin in the ribs and ducked when the loon thrusted his dagger at the meme man, aiming to stab him in the face. ShadowSquid9 ducked when the eye-patch Inkling lunged at him with a snarl, his fangs glinting in the shadows.

Black Toad pulled out a Poison Shroom and threw it at Bob, who sliced it in pieces with his blades. The Garo stared at the rogue Toad with angry red eyes and ran towards him, his blades held high as he prepared to strike. Without warning, Black Toad whipped out a pistol and fired a couple bullets in the ex-rapper's face, which Bob evaded with his ninja skills as he teleported out of the line of fire.

He popped up behind Black Toad and kicked the gun from his hand, then he slapped the renegade fungus in the face and knocked him into a tree. At that second, the rogue Pianta went after Mario and Axol alongside Screvehn Face, the Slender Man-sized creature, trying to knock them down.

Mario flipped off the Pianta and kicked him in the shin, then he took out a bat and bonked the crook on the noggin hard enough to knock the Pianta down. Axol and Screvehn engaged in battle, throwing hands and legs in a judo-style showdown, kicking and sweep-kicking and punching with their fists colliding to a point where it felt like a fight scene from Dragon Ball or Naruto.

In his years of studying, watching anime and reading manga while living in Japan, Axol had trained in the ways of jujitsu and Kung Fu, practicing hard and partaking in many battle tournaments. And even without his Inkweaver, the Inkopolis-born axolotl could hold his own against the toughest of foes until he found the opening in the enemy's defenses.

Screvehn made a grab for the manga artist, who ducked around him, and Axol moved his arm swiftly, performing a judo chop across the side of his foe's neck and Screvehn collapsed with a groan.

And, at that moment, SMG4 and ShadowSquid9 kicked T'lo'rfin in the face together. The crook dropped the dagger from his hand and stumbled back, rubbing his head and sputtering, hardly able to speak. T'lo'rfin ran into the bushes, leaving his knocked-out associates and the gang behind, and nobody had to worry about ShadowSquid9 having to pay him anything.

"Guess that takes care of that for now..." SMG4 remarked, "ShadowSquid, would you be nice enough to lead us to the city?"

The Octoling smiled and shook the meme man's hand. "Sure thing, SMG4." He said, "I'm glad you asked. After all, if you've visited this place as long as I have, you don't have to worry about trouble when you know the way."