List of oneshots part 4

Chapter 93

Plot: A young man is given two fiancés from his mom and grandma.

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Gray clouds cover the sky as the camera pans down to show a funeral. People were gathered around a casket that was soon to be lowered into the ground.

A young boy dressed in a black suit was sobbing. He had red hair, blue eyes, and a round birthmark on his neck. "Dad, why!" he let out, his shoulders shaking as he was having a hard time not collapsing altogether.

2 hands were placed on his shoulders.

"It's okay Rat." Said one woman.

"We'll make you feel so loved, Rat." Said the older woman.

He sniffled and hugged them as the casket was lowered into the hole.

Years later...

"Rat! Breakfast!"

"Coming mom!" Said a guy in a towel. Fresh from the shower, now putting on his clothes. "Stupid alarm clock, I really need to find a new one."

When he got down to the dining table, 2 happy faces were there to greet him.

"Good morning sweetie." Said one woman.

"Good morning sweetheart." Said the older woman.

"Morning Grandma."

"Good morning sweetums." Said a ninja.

"Good morning ninja."

"Good morning sweet thang." Said a magician.

"Good morning magician."

It took Rat a minute to realize something was wrong.

"Wait a minute!" He exclaimed, taking note of the ninja and magician. "Wh-who the heck are you girls?!"

"Rat, good news! This is your new fiance!" his mom and grandma let out at once before turning to the other and glared. "No she is! SHE IS! STOP THAT"

"Y...you both got me fiances?" Rat then looked at his options.

"This lovely kunoichi is Ofelia." Said his mom.

"I promise to keep you safe." Said the ninja.

"Stupid bitch, he doesn't need safety." Said his grandma. "Rat, here's the better choice, Tessi."

"I promise to keep you smiling with my magic." Said the magician.

Ofelia wore dark blue clothing, which featured a v-neck shirt that showed off her fishnet shirt underneath.

Tessi wore red velvet colored magician clothing, wearing fishnet stockings that showed off her thick thighs.

Ofelia had black short hair, and Tessi had long red hair.

"Who-What-Where-Why?!"

"Hey there Rat, your mom told me all about you." Said Ofelia.

"Same thing, but with your granny here." Said Tessi.

"Uh..." he turned to said woman and gestured to the girls with a face that said "What the hell is going on here?!"

"Well you see son..."

"No, let me tell him!"

"No! I'm telling him!"

The 2 older women grabbed forks.

"HOW ABOUT WE LET OFELIA AND TESSI TELL ME?!" Rat shouted, making both his mom and grandma shut up. "Girls? Mind telling me what's going on?"

"Yeah, so you see Rat, your mom and granny are both worried that they'll die and leave you just like your dad." Ofelia started.

"So they looked for the perfect girls to marry you so you won't be alone when they unexpectedly die."

"..." he slowly turned to the older woman with a neutral expression. "You two...set up...TWO arranged marriages?"

"Yes they did, but meh, we don't really mind." Said Tessi.

"But these girls are just as lonely as you." Said his grandma.

"...yeah I'm just gonna go for a walk and try to forget about this."

Rat then left the table, breakfast only half finished.

"Oh great he's leaving, it's your fault mom!" Said Rat's mom.

"My fault?! You ungrateful brat!" Rat's grandma shot back.

Ofelia and Tessi exchanged glances and nodded before poofing away from the table!

Rat himself walked down the street, a thousand yard stare in his eyes. "Those 2...they've done some crazy competitive things but this takes the cake, bringing 2 strangers into it." That's when a sudden cloud poofed in his way to reveal the two girls. "Gah!"

"Rat please don't hate your mom and grandma, those 2 just want you to be happy."

"But what about you girls?" he questioned. "I mean, how did they talk you two into this?"

"Well, I ran into your mom one day when she saw me at a low point." Ofelia started. "Nobody was laughing at my jokes, people were finding me annoying, and ultimately just said to face they only hung around me because they thought having a ninja for a friend was a cool novelty, but then got tired of the real me, and my uh..."

"Your what, Ofelia?" Rat and Tessi asked.

"My love for silliness..." She looked away embarrassed.

"But...you're a ninja. Aren't you guys supposed to be all serious?"

"Serious 24/7/365? Not really for me, so I'm just a goof when I'm not working."

"Guess it's my turn now." Said Tessi. "I met your grandma when she saw me drunk and passed out on the sidewalk."

"Ouch, guess things aren't going so magically?"

"Yeah, people say I have a drinking problem, but trust me, it's not a problem." She said before pulling a flask out of thin air. "Aw-man, I'm out..."

"...riiiiight."

"So anyways, your grandma saw me on the sidewalk, drunk, as I was telling people I thought were my friends to stay and keep hanging out, but no they found me annoying."

"Wow, that's...kinda sad."

"So yeah, we're lonely girls."

"Ever considered getting a-"

"No to pets." They interrupted him.

"I mean I'm just saying, they can-"

"No! I want a husband and then I'll consider having pets."

"So...you two are gonna stick around until I decide, is that how it works?"

"Well, we talked about it..." Ofelia started.

"And we agreed that we don't mind if you possibly wanna marry both of us." Tessi finished.

"NANI!?"

"Yeah, your mom and granny may be fighting, but we won't."

"So let's hang out."

They both smiled and wrapped an arm each with his before leading him down the street as his brain momentarily shut down.

'These 2 girls seem sweet but can we really...?' he thought, his thoughts running all over the place before the camera panned back over to his house.

We see the mother and grandmother both panting after yelling at each other.

"You...insufferable...bitch!"

"No... that's...you..." They then turned to notice that they were only people in the kitchen. "Hey! Where'd they go?"

"They might be competing for his love. You can do it Ofelia!" Said his mom.

"The hell she can! Your choice in woman is as bad as your choices in life!"

"Oh, is every choice I made a bad one? Like when I decided to make your son the happiest man in the world when he proposed to me?" Said his mom.

"I mean after that! Like your cooking? Atrocious."

"You sure you can call me a bad chef when you botched the barbeque last week?!"

They continued arguing. People walked past the house as they shouted at each other.

"Ugh, just fuck already." Some guy commented.

"I know right?" remarked his girlfriend.

Back with Rat, Ofelia and Tessi, the trio were watching a movie.

"Uh...I thought we were gonna watch The Flash." Said Rat.

"We are watching The Flash." Said Tessi.

On the screen was a man in a trenchcoat.

"Oh god, not THAT Flash!"

"Halt citizen! You just encountered..." Then he opens up the coat. "The Flash!"

Half the audience either gagged with the other half cheering.

"How was this approved?"

"Well, we are in an X rated theater." Said Tessi.

"Aaaah! He's so much bigger than me! I surrender!"

"And The Flash saves the day once again!"

The crowd all cheered for him in the movie as he struck a heroic pose without covering up.

'Please let there be boobies, if I'm gonna stare at a man's junk, can I atleast get some lady parts to stare at too?' he thought in hope before they saw a woman in a trenchcoat walk over to the man.

"Well, well, well, my darling husband The Flash."

"Oh, Flashette, I see you've arrived for our ultimate technique...sex in public."

'Finally.'

And when the couple threw their trenchcoats open, Flashette was a futa!

"What the?!"

"Oh yeah! Come and get me?" Said Flashette.

"You're on!" And so he tackled her and they started having sex! The camera zooming in on Flashette's futa dick as it bounced up and down with each thrust The Flash did as he fucked her from behind.

'Dammit, I asked for lady parts and I guess this was the loophole.' He facepalmed.

After the movie...

"That was...not what I expected."

"It was what we were expecting." Said Tessi. "Don't let it get you down though, those dicks were probably CG, so don't worry, your dick is probably bigger."

"Besides, at least she didn't fuck him with it, unless you..."

"Nope, nuh uh, I prefer doing the fucking." he held up a hand with a blush.

"Ah, good to know where we stand on this conversation." Said Ofelia. "I didn't know if you would be into pegging or not."

"That's a big no."

"So, where to next on our date?" Rat asked.

"Well of course there's this fun place called Pizza Azzip." Said Tessi

"Isn't Azzip just Pizza backwards?"

"Yep, the owner and I are old pals from High School, maybe I can convince him to give me a discount."

"I could go for a bite."

And so they went to the Pizza parlor called Pizza Azzip. The smell of all sorts of cheeses and toppings burst through the door as soon as Rat opened it.

"Ahhhh, the smell of pizza never gets old." Said Tessi.

"You said it." The other 2 agreed.

The three of them went to grab a booth right as one of the servers came over.

"Mama Mia, aim amam, welcome to Pizza Azzip, how may I serve you today old friend?" Said their server.

"Hey Vito." Said Tessi. "This is Rat, my husband to be, and Ofelia, my wife to be."

"My word! You're a busy little flower."

"They're actually arranged marriages and we've just met today but I love these 2 already."

"...the youth today are sure daring." He replied. "So, your usual of 3 pitchers of beer?"

"Of course."

'3 pitchers?!'

"Oh, and also make sure to top me off." She said, pulling out her empty flask.

"Not a problem. Now, what pizza are you in the mood for?"

"Meat lovers."

"Ah, excellent choice." And then he walked away.

The three looked at each other, it going silent with none of them saying a word. Meanwhile the table next to them.

"Okay babe, I'm gonna go to the restroom and wash up." Said some blonde guy. As he walked by he then noticed them. "AAAAAAAH!" He screamed like a little girl as he jumped back.

"Babe! Are you okay?!" His girlfriend asked.

"Of-of-f-f-felia!"

The trio got up and checked up on him.

"Oh, well if it isn't Tristan, when did you get out of jail?" Ofelia asked.

"You know him?" Asked Rat.

"Yeah, I kicked his ass and sent him to jail."

"And I remember every last horrifying detail..."

*Flashback*

"Kidney punch! Kidney punch! Kidney punch! And pause...kidney punch!"

"Ow! Stop!" Tristan screamed before she threw him and he stumbled back only to hit in the head when Ofelia front flipped into a kick! "Ah!" Tristan hit the floor, and next Ofelia climbed a crate and jumped backwards, her knees landing on Tristan's back! "Gwah!"

She picked him up and then positioned his crotch over her knee!

"No, no, no, no, no, no, nooo-"

CRACK!

*Flashback over.*

"Wow...I didn't know you were such a brutal kunoichi." Said Rat.

"Do I scare you?" She hoped for a no.

"No, not really."

"Good, I was worried you'd have second thoughts about me."

"So uh...what brings you to a place like this?" Asked Tristan.

"I'm living the throuple life with these two."

"The what?"

"Throuple, as in a couple but with 3 people."

"Oh!" He then saw Rat and Tessi. "Would never have guessed you were bi, anyways, see yah." He then got up and walked away to the bathroom.

"So, you two sure know a few people." Said Rat.

"More like I know a lot of people around town." Said Tessi.

"Me too." Said Ofelia.

"I don't know many people around town. I went into homeschooling, shutting myself out."

"Because of your dad?" Asked Tessi.

"No, after I moved on from my pain, there later came a horrible event that caused me to have trust issues. Thank goodness I got better sometime after I finished all of my home schooling." He explained.

"Do...you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure...why not?"

*Flashback*

We see a tween boy, feeling hope some time after moving on from his father's death. After all, it hurt a lot, but he still needed to keep on living.

"I thought nobody could take away my happiness a 2nd time...until I met Chris Kreston."

He then bumped into a guy with unkempt brown hair. It covered his left eye, the uncovered eye revealed his eye color to be a deep blue. His skin was one shade lighter than Rat's. He wore a black t-shirt, blue overalls, and gray sneakers.

"Oh, sorry."

"Huh? Oh hey, aren't you the guy who was moping in his house for a month?"

"Yes, but I managed to find the strength to keep on going."

"Well, you seem like a happy dude now. I'm Chris Kreston." He said, holding out his hand.

"Rat Olson." He said, shaking his hand. "You busy right now?"

"Nope. I just wanted to enjoy one more free day before I return to school."

"Great, let's hang."

"And so we were friends after that, hanging out, doing things friends do, loitering around places we weren't allowed to be at."

"Hey you 2! You can't be here!" Shouted a middle aged man.

"Catcalling girls who would make it clear they don't want us."

"Hey cuties, wanna double date?" Said Chris, the girls giving them a double middle finger.

"He showed me the fun of skeet shooting."

"Skeet shooting? But weren't you too young to hold a gun?" Said Ofelia.

"We pretended to be a tall guy in a trench coat."

"So what happened to ruin your friendship with Chris?"

"Well..."

And then they both befriended a 3rd person...a girl.

"We both had a crush on the same girl. I was definitely winning her over with my poetry."

"I'm guessing you were rough around the edges?"

"Everything I tried would soon end up being a wasted effort however."

"Oh no, what happened?" Asked Ofelia.

We see Rat on the school roof, awaiting the girl he eas crushing on.

"Mouse." Said Rat.

"Hi Rat, you said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes...I-"

"Lermme stop you and your loser mouth for a second there."

"Loser?"

"Yeah, I never cared about your poetry and I have actually been dating your friend Chris months before he met you."

"What?"

"We were actually planning for this day, to humiliate you."

"B-B-But WHY?!"

"Because you're a pathetic loser who should've stayed cooped up in your house!" Said Chris, with feathers and a big electric fan.

"What the?" He turned to see his former crush with glue and hot sauce. "No no no no no!"

Too late, she tackled him, throwing the hot sauce over his eyes!

"Aaaah! It stings!"

Then she got the glue all over his body! Chris turned on the fan and started throwing feathers! They went flying and started sticking to him all over.

"Ah! Help!" That's when Rat felt himself being picked up. "What the? Where are you taking me?!"

They threw him down the stairs, until they made it to a crowd.

"Alright everyone, ready to eat the rich?"

"YEAH!"

"AAAAAAAH!"

*Flashback over!*

"Did they actually try to eat you?" Said Ofelia as she petted Rat's head.

"Not after I peed myself and ran away."

"This guy sucks, and I'm gonna make him see hell, I'm that good *hic* of a magician." Said Tessi before downing her 3rd pitcher of beer.

"Uh, you sure you should be getting drunk this fast?

"I know, bussh, I hate crying to sad stories." She said. "Sho, after that yoush *hic* couldn't trust people and started getting home schooled?"

"Yep, I just got over my dad's death, thought I made a friend, turns out he actually hated me for having money and tricked me into thinking I had a shot with a girl he was secretly dating."

"That's fucked up." Said Ofelia. "And I should know what fucked up is, my job as a ninja leads me to killing in brutal ways."

"Honestly? Makes me wonder if I'm just born with bad luck or something."

"Wouldsh you count ush in your momentsh of bad luck?" Asked Tessi. "We *hic* were thrust upon yoush without yoush ashking." Ofelia held Rat close, hoping he would not say yes.

"Well...how can I put this..." He rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, if it were fiance's who didn't care about my Wellbeing then yeah, but you two? You're far from what I'd consider bad luck."

"Yay!" She then hugged him tighter.

"Great, and shwhat timing, the pizzashas here."

The server put the pizza on the table and walked away.

"Sho Rat, ever been kisshed *hic* by a drunk bitch beforesh?"

"Uh...no?"

"Well, time for an experience!" She then pulled him away from Ofelia's grasp and pressed her lips against his!

"Hey! Give 'em back!" she growled before pulling him back and slammed their lips together while moaning.

'These girls are so nice right now, but it's gonna take more than this before-' His thoughts were interrupted when Ofelia and Tessi's phones started vibrating.

"Crap, I gotsh work." Said Tessi, checking her phone.

"Dammit, father has a job for me." Said Ofelia, breaking the kiss.

"Oh, I guess I'll see you girls tomorrow?"

"Heh, heh, heh, if I'm lucky, I can see yah later tonight." Said Tessi, before punching herself.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Said Ofelia.

"Gotta sober myself up." She spoke before decking herself in the cheek three more times and let out a groan. "Yup, that'll do it, ow."

"We'll see you again." And then Ofelia pulled out a smoke bomb and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Here, the money for the bill." Said Tessi, handing it to him before pulling out a wand and also disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"..." Rat, just sat there, and finished the pizza.

Later...

"Okay, let's see who my client is..." Said Tessi as she took a good look at the E-mail.

Meanwhile...

"So father, who's my latest mark?"

"No assassination today, just theft." Said her dad.

"Oh, that works, I don't want to get any blood on me today."

"Of course, don't want that sad arranged marriage guy to see your scary side."

"I'm surprised you aren't trying to kill him father."

"I actually used to be his personal tutor during his home schooling. So we have some history."

"So you won't hound us on grandkids either?"

And then her dad pointed to a picture of a happy man with a wife and many kids. "Your brother has my grandkid fix covered."

'That's stress off my back.' Then she was handed a picture of the person she is gonna steal from.

"Your target's name is Chris Kreston."

"What the...that's the name of Rat's bully..."

Meanwhile with Tessi...

"I have to be the magician for a kid's birthday...ugh, so my client's child is named Toby Kreston...and my client who booked me is...Chris Kreston...

Both women had sinister looking grins, knowing what they're gonna do now that they have Chris Kreston's home address. Without waiting, they both vanished from their spots, a dark laughter following them.

Later...

"Where is that magician I hired?" Said an adult Chris Kreston, he had a thin body. "If they don't show up soon, I'm gonna demand a refund."

And then in a puff of smoke!

"Voila! Tis' I, the Magnificent Tessi!"

"You were so close to not getting here in time! My kid wants to see magic! I would've booked a Knight, but no my son had to be obsessed with Harry Potter, not Lord of the Rings."

Meanwhile with Ofelia...she was doing recon before planning on breaking in...

'Tessi? Wow, what a conky dink...I wonder if she could use a lovely assistant in avenging poor Rat.' she thought with a sinister grin. 'This is gonna be a party he'll never forget.'

Later...after the cake, it was time for the magic show.

"Gather round kids, time for the Magnifice-uh oh!" And then her hat purposefully flew off and into the crowd. "Oh young man, mind getting me my hat?"

"Sure thing."

"Good thing you got the hate for me little buddy." She said to the kid. "Otherwise it would've exploded!"

"Exploded?"

And then she tapped her hat with her wand and suddenly a firework shot out of it! When it exploded, the shape it made said "Bullies are losers."

'Huh?' Thought Chris. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

Meanwhile with Ofelia...

'Death lasers, attack drones, flaming rocks and motion sensors to open up a pool of corrosive acid? Amateurish.' she thought, rolling her eyes as she easily crawled across the walls like a spider. 'You better have a chimeric nightmare in this next room so I can say things can go from Easy Difficulty to Medium Difficulty.'

At the end of the hall layed a door with numerous locks going all across it.

'Seriously? No-'

And suddenly a freakishly tall and freakishly buff man burst through the wall.

'A Hulk? Why can't the monster ever be a chimera abomination thing?' She complained in her thoughts.

"ME SMASH!"

"Roar, roar, me don't care!" she mocked. 'How ironic, Chris hates rich people and then he becomes a well off guy himself.'

The man roared before barreling right at her. She sidestepped and tripped him over! "Aaaaah! Ow!"

And then she pulled out a syringe and injected him with poison!

"If your master didn't give you poison immunity then you're a waste of his money."

"He didn't..."

"Wow, what a loser." Ofelia then saw the thing she needed to steal. "Bingo." Instead of the traps, she pulled out a grappling hook gun to grab the item and bring it to her. When it landed in her hand, she gave a devious smirk. 'Alright, I wonder how Tessi is doing?'

Meanwhile...we see Chris who has soot all over his body after being burned, confetti being stuck all over him with grape soda making his body sticky, shaving cream also decorated his body, and finally a cherry on top of his head. He was very angry about how he became a constant target for all of Tessi's magic tricks. 'Urge...to kill...rising!'

"Now for my next trick, I'll need an assistant." She said.

"Hey! Mind if I assist you?" Asked Ofelia.

"Oh, why step onto the stage beautiful~"

The ninja woman stepped up beside the magician, giving a discreet nod to her.

"So, what brings you here?" Tessi whispered.

"I was hired to rob Chris." She whispered back. "I see you've gotten him back plenty, but I wanted to join in."

"Perfect, this'll make things easier."

The 2 of them broke away and were ready.

"Okay lovely assistant, ready to be sawed in half?"

"Gladly."

And so a box was poofed onto the stage.

'Okay...this can't possibly hit me.' Chris thought. 'Right?'

And so Ofelia stepped into the box and then Tessi closed it and started sawing, after splitting the box in half, the kids started cheering. She then put the box back together and opened it showing Ofelia was okay.

"Huh...I was so worried about that tri-" And suddenly he self-destructed! "Oh come-on!"

"Tada!"

The kids started laughing.

"That was awesome." Ofelia whispered.

"Hey, wanna really piss him off?" Tessi whispered back.

"Ooh, I like your thinking."

"Hey kids! Wanna see two girls makeout?" Tessi cried out.

That grabbed the attention of them.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! This ain't that kind of show!" Shouted Chris.

"Says you. It's my show." Said Tessi.

"Do it! do it! Do it!"

Both of Rat's brides had devious smiles as Tessi swept Ofelia off her feet and they pressed their lips against each other, the kids cheering.

'Oh no, if my wife sees lewdness at our son's party, she's gonna ki-' And then Chris' wife yanked him by the collar midthought!

"Chris! Why are grown women making out at a 7 year old's birthday party?!" She shouted.

"I don't know, that magician obviously hates me for some reason and I don't know why!"

"Did you hire a pair of hookers again?!"

"No! Also I keep telling you that was for my cousin's 18th Birthday!"

Both girls then broke the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting their tongues.

"Oh god dammit, they're even doing that sexy stuff? Kick them out!"

"Okay honey." Chris then went over. "Okay you've crossed the line, get out of here!" And then he started pushing them out of his backyard.

When they made it to the front yard...

"So, dafuq is wrong with you? Why did you have to make me the butt of your jokes?!"

"We're we just looking after the man we're gonna marry." Said Ofelia.

"Yeah, Rat, our husband to be." Tessi chimed in.

"W-Rat?! Marry!?"

"That's right, fuck you, loser. I see you grew up to be some scrawny bitch that Rat could easily beat up." Said Tessi as she put up the middle fingers.

"Well...well...get off my property!" And then he slammed the door in their face.

"Suck it bitch!" Then both women poofed away.

With Rat, after doing some errands, he has now made it home. "Mom? Grandma? I'm home?"

Upstairs...

We see the milf and gilf waking up in bed together naked after a passionate hate-fuck.

"Ugh...did you hear something?"

"Mom? Grandma?"

"Oh crap, it's Rat." Said his mom.

"What are we gonna do Julia?" Asked his grandma.

"Simple Charlotte, we pretend nothing happened, put our clothes on and agree with Rat if he gives us a heartfelt speech for us to get along." Replied his mom.

"Good call."

And so they got dressed and walked down stairs to where Rat was. "Rat! Sweetie, how was your day?"

"Well, I had a lot of fun with Tessi and Ofelia. They seemed nice, and actually don't wanna fight over me."

"Wonderful, so you'll marry them both?"

"Maybe, but...I really need to tell you both something important."

'Here it comes.' They both thought.

"I appreciate you both for caring, but that constant fighting between you girls, and the fact you did this without my consent. You caused me to come so close to losing trust in you two...consider yourself lucky that Tessi and Ofelia care about me."

"Well, we're sorry kid." Said his mom.

"Yeah, we just loved you so much." Said his grandma.

"And we're gonna try for your sake." Said his mom.

"That's great, but...I also think we need to move out."

"What?!" Both gasped

"Well, if we're gonna have more people in our family, we may as well get a bigger house. I know we have a normal suburban house since we really don't care about the mansions a rich person is expected to have, but we're gonna need more space, you know?"

"Oooh, good idea. Especially with a dozen grandkids."

"A dozen?! Woah woah woah, let's not jump ahead to THAT many."

"And don't worry kid, your mom and I will try to get along.".

"You really mean it?"

"Yes, we've had some time to cool down and...talk things out."

Rat was so close to having tears of joy. 'Wait...why do I smell sweat and shame? Oh well, they're gonna get along.'

"So, are you saying you approve of the girls?"

"Yes...well, almost, they were quite affectionate, even gave me a kiss, but I feel like there's something left that-" Then a furious knocking on the door was heard. Rat went to answer it.

"YOU!"

"Chris?!"

"Yeah uh...I met your brides...what she-devils... fucking ruined my kid's birthday party."

"SAYS YOU!" His son shouted from the car. "IT WAS AWESOME!"

"Toby shut up or no ice cream."

"Your brides are keepers!" Toby replied, not caring.

"Anyways...I'm very, very sorry..." He said, still in a sour mood. "I thought being rich meant never worrying...never witnessing a normal person's problems...well..."

"Your problems didn't go away after making money?"

"Yep...and I don't want your brides harassing me to be another worry."

"I'm not sure if I accept your apology."

"Dude, what else do I need to do to make you forgive-" And then Rat suddenly hugged him. "Ugh, seriously a hug?"

"I'm hearing yapping but no hugging."

Chris reluctantly hugged him back. "You are such a geek, no wonder I bullied you."

"Now I forgive you." Rat let go as Chris walked away. "Hey girls?"

Ofelia and Tessi poofed in front of him in a puff of smoke. "You rang?"

"Did you really do that for me?"

"We weren't planning on it." Said Tessi. "Not yet anyways."

"But we both of our jobs just so happened to line up coincidentally." Said Ofelia.

"Well I wanna say, thank you."

And then they grabbed his arms.

"That's what brides are for right? Having their man's back!" They clung him closer to them, their chests pressing against his arms.

"Ooh, are you gonna go for it now?" Said Rat's mom.

"After that part with Chris, can you trust them now?" Said his grandma.

"Well...yes, I can trust you both."

"YES!"

"Let's celebrate!" Said Tessi.

And so they pulled him into a make-out session, a 3 way make-out session.

'Damn that's kinda hot.' Both older women thought. 'What am I saying? That's my baby/grand baby swapping spit with those 2.'

'I hope these two don't start stripping right now, I don't need to get hooked and be an exhibitionst.' Rat thought before both girls broke the kiss.

"Alright, that was hot." Said Tessi. "I'm gonna get drunk and order another pizza."

"Do you happen to have any comedy movies?" Asked Tessi. "I wanna cuddle on the couch tonight while laughing with you."

"Oh trust me, I got TONS to pick from."

"Yay."

"So, what are your thoughts on the Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker comedy movies?"

"I don't know, I don't think I ever heard of movies made by those guys."

"Oh trust me, you'll be laughing your heads off before the nights over."

Later that night...as they ate pizza and watched a movie...

"I gotta get outta here! Aaaah!" Panicked a woman.

"Calm down!" Said a guy who shook her.

"Dr. You're wanted on the phone." Said a flight attendant. "Calm down, it's gonna be alright!" She then slapped the panicking woman.

And then we look behind her and a line is formed to calm her down composed of a guy with a boxing glove, a guy with a wrench and a woman with a gun.

"Just so we're clear, is this a parody?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"I'm pretty sure Family Guy made the same joke."

"No, this movie came out in 1980 and Family Guy came out in 1999."

"So they copied this?"

"Yeah, some good Family Guy jokes come from Zucker, Abrahams, Zucker movies."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you know the scene where Stewie beat up Osama and then fell off the cliff and then started a ride of destruction back to Quahog?"

"Was that in this movie?"

"It was in a different movie, but they stole that joke also."

"Wow..."

"Damn, what othersh jomesh did they use from these guysh *hic*" Said Tessi before taking a bite of pizza.

After the movie...

"Aww, so happy those 2 got together at the end." Said Ofelia.

"Yeahsh, it wash sho romantic." Said Tessi. "Gets me in the moodsh..."

And then she fell asleep.

"Well, guess that's it, you wanna sleep with me in my bed, or you headed home?" Rat asked Ofelia.

"Your bed."

"Okay...wanna help me drag her to bed?"

"Ooooooh, you gonna fuck her while she sleeps?".

"Bwah?! No!"

"Dad quiet...your rock mushic ish too loudsh..." she mumbled in her sleep. "...I havesh a tesht tomorrow..."

"I have more class than that ya know."

"Yeah, I bet." Ofelia then grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts. "Get a good feel, and then we can go to sleep."

'Oh wow...' He thought, squeezing them. 'Don't go crazy, hold back until the wedding.'

"Mmmm, I'll even let you sleep on them if you want~"

Rat blushed. "Okay..." and so they all went to ned...

"Uh...who's Ned?" Asked the reader.

Oh dammit, that was supposed to say went to bed!

"Thank you." Said the reader.

"Good night." Said Rat and Ofelia, with Rat taking Ofelia up on her offer.

Months of wedding planning later...

"Man, this day came by quicker than I imagined." Said Ofelia's dad.

"I know, you excited to give me away?"

"Of course I am, I've been wanting a reason to kick you out."

"Tessi, can you not drink?" Said Tessi's dad. "I'm about to give you away?"

"I can't help it dad, I'm nervous." she replied, taking another swig from her bottle as her father sighed.

"This is your big day, I doubt it'd be a good idea to have you stumble down the aisle, or heaven forbid, you passing out right at the altar."

"Ugh fine, didn't even bring enough to get drunk anyways."

"Good, let's get wasted after the reception, teehee." Ofelia giggled.

With Rat...

"You actually made me a Groomsman?" Said Chris.

"Yeah, wouldn't want my first friend to miss my big day." Said Rat as he had a big grin on his face.

"You have issues." He then turned to his son. "And Toby, you are not allowed to get pics of Ofelia and Tessi making out. You will NOT get fap material of any kind! You can't even find a loophole into getting pics of them kissing Rat and then editing them to look like they're kissing!"

Toby rolled his eyes, but then his mom swiped his camera and his smartphone and his tablet. That caused the boy to grumble.

"If you want stuff to fap too, use a porno site like a normal boy."

"Fine..." He said, grumpy..

And so the music started...it was the traditional Wedding Music until the DJ suddenly started scratching the records on the turntable. Everyone turned their attention to him.

"Sorry guys, force of habit. Big Zack and Cody fan."

"Booooo."

And so the music resumed and then Ofelia and Tessi were given away to Rat.

"I still can't believe your dad was one of my tutors." Rat whispered.

"Yeah, small world."

"So when I was a kid, I recall him saying story about his daughter, aka you and how you wanted to take a bath in ice c-"

"Let's not talk about that now."

"Fine, later then."

"Woah, I gotta hear this when we're alone." Whispered Tessi.

"Oh, don't worry Tessi, I met your dad before and he once told me about how his daughter you, had a hug pillow of-"

"Okay, let's just get married."

The priest cleared his throat and opened up the book. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together to celebrate the union of these three in holy matrimony." He started "I'd like to get my 2 cents in and say I love that we live in a country where we don't have to fight over love, such as we see today."

"It's still weird!" called one of the guests.

"Excuse you, but a ninja family is in the audience, don't test your luck!"

The guy shut up."

"Anyways, Rat, do you take these 2 women as your lawfully wedded wives?"

"I do."

"Tessi, do you take Rat as your lawfully wedded husband and Ofelia as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And Ofelia, do you feel the same for rat and Tessi?"

"I do."

"Well then if there are any reasons as to why these 3 should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Everyone looked around, especially the ninjas who had their weapons out with faces that said 'Try it, we dare ya'. And suddenly someone burst through the left wall!

"I object! That man can't marry a dead bitch can he?!" Shouted a Supervillain.

"Oh great it's Tex, my arch-nemesis..." Said Tessi.

"Your arch-nemesis is supervillain?!" Said Rat and Ofelia.

"Hey, mind if I help you out? He's ruining my big day as well." Said Ofelia.

Tessi nodded as they turned to Rat.

"This won't take long." She said as they kissed his cheeks.

*One quick battle with a supervillain later...*

"As I was saying, if anyone wishes to speak up, then keep it to yourself."

Nobody said anything.

"Then by the powers invested in me, I now pronounce you man, bride, and bride."

They exchanged rings and then started kissing each other. They hugged the other as close as possible while making sure each shared some tongue with each other.

"Ah, freedom to have a polyamorous romance." Said the priest.

And that's when all 3 poofed away in a puff of smoke, but in their place was a sign with cans tied to it saying "Just Married".

They teleport back to Rat's bedroom, or rather the love nest for Rat, Tessi and Ofelia.

"So, ready for this?" Said Tessi.

"Yeah, it's been hard holding back." Said Ofelia.

"I gotta admit, I've wanted to pounce you both as well, but now that we're hitched, we don't have to hold back anymore." Said Rat as they all got their clothes off. "I hope we never get separated."

"Don't worry about it Rat, we'll always be together."

"Yeah, we'll stick with you."

"Thanks girls."

Passionate sounds of love being heard throughout the night.