They ended up on the beach again. Jacob was still patting himself on the back for engineering Beau's escape.
"Do you think they'll come looking for you?"
"No." He was certain of that much. "They're going to be furious with me tonight, though."
Jacob picked up a rock and sent it skipping over the waves. "Don't go back, then."
"Charlie would love that."
"I bet he wouldn't mind."
Charlie wouldn't mind, that was the problem. Beau decided to change the subject.
"So, what's the latest pack scandal?"
Jacob whipped his head around to stare at him. Beau frowned.
"What? That was a joke."
"Oh."
Beau stared at him. Jacob was staring just as hard at a spot behind Beau's head.
He stood on tiptoe until their eyes met. "Is there a scandal?"
Jacob finally smiled again. "I forget what it's like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet, private place inside my head."
Beau reached for his hand. Jacob took it, and the two walked in silence for a few minutes, stopping when they reached their favorite driftwood tree.
"So what is it? That everyone in your head already knows?"
"Paul imprinted—that's three now. The rest of us are starting to get worried. Maybe it's more common than the stories say . . . "
He was staring at Beau in a way that made him feel self-conscious. "What? Is there something on my face?"
"No."
"Go on, why is Paul imprinting such a scandal?"
"That's the worst part—it's who he imprinted on."
"Ah. Well . . . who was it?"
Jacob's earlier exuberance was gone. Now he looked nauseated.
"The guy imprinted on my freakin' sister."
Beau felt his eyes bulge. "Ohhhh no."
"Oh, yes."
Beau had yet to meet Paul, but he'd heard stories about him from Jacob. Before joining the pack, Jacob had seen hints of Paul's temper when hanging out with friends. Only Sam Uley had been able to talk him down that day.
The episode had not endeared Paul to Jacob, and vice versa. And now, like it or not, Paul was part of the family. Permanently. Running patrol as wolves as one thing. Sitting at the same table for dinner every night until the end of time was something else.
"The universe has a sick sense of humor, huh?"
"You're telling me."
Beau glanced at him. "When do you think it will happen for you?"
The answer was flat and immediate. "Never."
"It's not something you can control, is it?"
"It's not supposed to be," he admitted.
"So it could happen for you, then. That special person is out there somewhere."
"No, he isn't," Jacob said sadly. "I'll never see anyone else, Beau. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy."
Beau dropped his gaze. "Maybe I should go home."
"No! You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker won't be home yet."
Beau glared at him.
"No offense intended."
"Yes, I have the whole day. But, Jake . . . "
He held up his hands. "Sorry. I won't be like that anymore. I'll just be Jacob."
"But if that's what you're thinking—"
"Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing. Just tell me if I'm upsetting you."
"I don't know . . . "
"Come on, Beau. Let's go back to the house and get our bikes. You've got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune."
"I really don't think I'm allowed," Beau said, but they both heard the wavering in his tone.
"By who? Charlie or the blood—or him?"
"Both."
Jacob smiled the way he used to: sunny and warm. Beau couldn't help but grin back.
"I won't tell anyone."
"Except every one of your friends."
Jacob raised his right hand. "I promise not to think about it."
Beau laughed. "If I get hurt, it was because I tripped."
"Whatever you say."
The boys rode their motorcycles on the backroads of La Push until Jacob got hungry. Billy greeted Beau warmly when they got back to the house, as if his sudden reappearance was nothing more than wanting to spend the day with a friend. He didn't ask why they weren't in school.
After devouring the sandwiches Jacob made, the two went out to the garage to clean off their bikes. The rain had made the last few miles very muddy.
"This is nice. I've missed this place."
"Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India."
"To Washington's little Taj Mahal."
Jacob touched his can to Beau's.
"Do you remember last Valentine's Day?"
"Of course. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. That's not something I'm likely to forget."
Jacob laughed. "That's right. It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier one."
Beau couldn't agree with him. This was his happy era now. But Beau was surprised to realize how many things he missed from his own personal dark ages.
"Things have really changed."
"Yeah, that's when Charlie used to like me. I hope your dad doesn't say anything about us skipping school."
Jacob shook his head. "He won't. He doesn't get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey. I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. I'm really sorry about ratting you out to your dad. I wish I hadn't."
"Same here. But you're forgiven."
"You know that day, when I brought the bike over . . . I've been wanting to ask you something. But also not wanting to, if that makes sense."
Beau waited.
"Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious?"
"About what?" Beau asked.
"You know what I'm talking about. When you said it was none of my business . . . if . . . if he bit you."
"Jake . . . "
"Were you serious?"
Jacob was trembling. His eyes stayed closed, for which Beau was grateful.
"Yes."
"I guess I knew that."
Beau watched him process this information. When his dark eyes opened, they were angry.
"You know what this will mean? Do you understand that? What will happen if they break the treaty?"
"We'll leave first."
"There wasn't a geographic limit to the treaty, Beau. Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore they were different, that humans weren't in danger from them. They promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampires. Once that's established, when we find them again—"
"You broke the treaty, Jacob. Wasn't keeping vampires a secret a big part of it? And you told me. So isn't the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?"
Jacob's expression hardened. "Yeah, I broke the treaty, back before I believed any of it. But it's not like that gives them a freebie or anything. There's no fault for a fault. They have one option if they object to what I did. The same option we'll have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start a war."
"It doesn't have to be that way."
"It is that way."
They were sitting close to one another, but Jacob had never felt so far away.
"Will you forgive me, Jake?"
"You won't be Beau anymore. My friend won't exist. There'll be no one to forgive."
Beau felt himself reaching for his Mariners hat, the habit he thought he'd kicked. There was nothing to pull down over his face.
Nowhere to hide.
"Is this goodbye, then?"
"Why? We still have a few years. Can't we be friends until we're out of time?"
"We are friends," Beau told him. "But it's happening . . . soon. In a few weeks."
Jacob was on his feet in an instant. A deep growl was building in his chest. His entire body was shaking in a familiar, terrifying way . . .
And then Jacob gritted his teeth together. The growling stopped. Beau watched, both scared and fascinated, as the quivering slowed until only Jacob's hands shook.
"Weeks?"
Beau couldn't answer. He could feel the empty soda can collapsing in his grip.
"He's going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks?"
"He's all I want, Jake," Beau whispered. "What else can I do?"
"Anything! Anything else. You'd be better off dead. I'd rather you were."
Beau recoiled as though Jacob had hit him. He lurched to his feet.
"Maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe I'll get hit by a truck on the way back."
Beau grabbed his motorcycle and pushed it out into the rain. Jacob didn't move as he passed by. As soon as he reached the small, muddy path, Beau climbed on and kicked the bike to life. The rear tire spit a column of mud toward the garage in his wake.
Beau hoped it hit Jacob. Served him right.
The rain and wind lashed against his skin as he rode. Beau's teeth were chattering for most of the way, but he was too fired up to care.
Motorcycles were too impractical for Washington. Beau decided to post it on eBay as soon as he could get his hands on a computer.
Beau walked the bike into the Cullens' garage, mildly proud of the mud he was tracking into the room. Alice was perched lightly on the hood of her Porsche. He watched her stroke the glossy yellow paint.
"I haven't even had a chance to drive it."
"Sorry," Beau spat through rattling teeth.
"You look like you could use a hot shower."
"Yep."
Alice slid off the hood. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Nope."
"Do you want to go to Olympia tonight?"
"Not really. Can't I go home?"
She grimaced.
"Never mind, Alice," he sighed. "I'll stay if it makes things easier for you."
Her relief was obvious. "Thanks."
Beau spent almost an hour in the shower. He said it was to get the mud off, but in truth, his thoughts were fixed on Jacob's reaction. Beau didn't expect him to act any differently, but he had hope.
Now he knew that was stupid. Jacob would never accept his decision.
He went to bed early that night, curling up on his sofa again.
It was still dark when Beau woke up. He stretched and rolled over, yawning, realizing at the last second that he'd rolled too far. Yet he didn't end up on the floor.
Weird.
Beau rolled back in the other direction, trying to see. It was darker than last night; the clouds were too thick for the moon to shine through.
"Sorry," a voice said, so softly that it was part of the darkness. "I didn't mean to wake you."
Beau tensed, waiting for the fury, but it never came. His own anger didn't arrive, either. The room remained quiet and calm.
Beau didn't care he was supposed to be angry with him. He didn't care that Edward might be pissed, too. Beau reached out blindly in the darkness, smiling when he found him. Beau used his other senses—touch, mostly—to find what he wanted.
They kissed then. It was exciting in the dark, having to rely on everything but his eyesight. He felt the smile start on Edward's lips.
"I was braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often."
"Give me a minute to work up to it."
"I'll wait as long as you want," Edward whispered. His fingers knotted through Beau's hair.
"Maybe in the morning."
"Whatever you prefer."
"Welcome home. I'm glad you came back."
"That's a very good thing."
Beau nodded, eyes falling closed as Edward tilted his head back. If this was a horror movie, Beau would be in dangerous territory with a vampire moving down his neck like he was.
But the bite never came—just an icy kiss. His heartbeat took off in a sprint.
"Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?"
"It's unnecessary."
"There's hardly room for the two of us on this couch."
"For the two of us to do what?"
Edward propped himself up on one elbow. "Don't get carried away."
Beau snickered. "I'm just saying."
"It's too dangerous."
"I like danger."
"Oh, I know you do." Beau took that to mean he saw the motorcycle parked in the garage.
Beau tucked Edward's arm under his head like the world's most uncomfortable pillow. It was uncomfortable, but it put them in close proximity, so he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Edward automatically began to play with the curls at the crown of Beau's head. It had an instant soporific effect; Beau felt his eyes fall close after a few moments.
"Can I apologize to you yet?"
"For what?"
Edward chuckled. "You were angry with me, remember?"
"Oh, that."
"I'm sorry," Edward told him. "I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here. I go a little berserk when I have to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again, it's not worth it."
"Did you find any mountain lions?"
"Plenty, but still not worth the anxiety, though. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage. That was a bad idea."
"Yes," he agreed.
"I won't do it again."
"Okay," Beau said. "You're forgiven. But you can hold me hostage any time you want."
"I may take you up on that." Edward continued to stroke Beau's hair.
Beau imagined this was how cats felt most days. He let out a long sigh of contentment.
"So is it my turn now?"
"Your turn?"
"To apologize. I went to La Push."
"I know."
"And I ditched school."
"So did I."
"You're being very open-minded tonight."
Edward sighed.
"I decided you were right. My problem before was more about my prejudice against the werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."
Beau couldn't believe his ears. "Wow."
"I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us."
Beau smiled. "Thank you."
The boys were quiet for a few moments. Beau sensed himself drifting off, but Edward's next words chased off all the drowsiness.
"Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?"
Edward felt him go rigid and rushed to continue.
"Just so that I can make my own plans. I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you."
"I don't think I'm welcome in La Push anymore."
"Why not?"
Beau fumbled with a loose thread on his t-shirt. "Jacob didn't realize our . . . deadline . . . was coming up so soon."
"Ah."
"He said he'd rather see me dead."
Beau didn't expect the answering hug. It momentarily took his breath away.
"I'm so sorry, Beau."
"I thought you'd be glad."
"Glad over something that's hurt you? Not at all."
Beau could tell Edward was tense. "What's wrong?"
"You won't want to hear this, but . . . I could kill him for saying that to you. I want to."
"I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control."
He sounded thoughtful. "I could slip."
"If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it."
Edward kissed him back, then pulled away. "Must I always be the responsible one?"
"I can be in charge of the responsibility for a night."
His tone was amused, but firm. "Goodnight, Beau."
"Goodnight," he sighed.
Beau drifted off to the hum of his lullaby.
