Katara clacked along the worn streets. Unfamiliar cheer was bubbling up inside of her. Her boots only added to her feeling of control. They were sturdy but sleek and she gripped her purse by her side.
Evening was falling faster and faster each day. She didn't mind.
Night was when she thrived.
Tuesday was a good night for meeting up. Who else was free on a middle weeknight? The city streets were mostly empty and she met no resistance as she sauntered through the muggy evening.
The address Sokka had sent her was not one she knew. This area of the city was unfamiliar to her as well.
Freedom Fighters Bar and Grill was a small brick building that blended into the shops flanking it. The logo across the doors was the silhouette of a sword and fist crossing. As unique as that design was, the windows and dim lighting were dull and faded with age.
A pinch of hesitation made hesitate Katara as she stepped up to the glass doors of the pub.
She clutched her purse to her side and pushed the door open.
Inside was as poorly lit and dingy as the outside. The fog and scent of cigarette and vape smoke hung heavy in the air. The same logo glowed above the bar in a flickering orange fluorescent.
On the far wall, she spotted her brother. Katara waved off the pretty hostess who moved to greet her.
Sokka waved her over to his small table. He was sitting with two other people. Neither one she recognized.
"Katara!" Her brother called out. "Over here!"
She wobbled over. Much of her confidence had slipped away. She sat awkwardly in the chair between him and the other man at the table. She suddenly felt way overdressed. Sokka was in a hoodie and jeans and his friends were dressed in casual street clothes. His bigger companion was stout and hulkling. He had messy shoulder-length hair and a bandana sweatband.
He leaned across the table and said something under his breath to Sokka.
They exchanged chagrined looks. Knowing. Odd.
"Hey." Sokka said.
"Hey." She pursed her lips at her brother. "Never been here before."
"Yeh. Me neither."
"I've been a few times." The man cut in. "And you can call me Pip." He gave her hand a quick shake in his massive paw.
"Pip?" She asked, extracting her hand.
He chuckled. His voice was deep and it resonated in the center of her chest. He swiped a palm across her back, jolting her. She didn't like that.
"People call me Pip just cuz."
"It's easier." Sokka supplied.
"Sure." She scooted closer to Sokka, turning her head to speak to him. "What made you decide on this place?"
It wasn't either of their style. They usually went out to get barbecue or something substantial. They never went out for drinks.
"The gang and me were looking around. Seemed cool. Like Pip said, he's been a couple times."
"Ah." The gang?
"Oh yeah," Sokka said. "This is Bee."
"Pip and Bee?"
"You betcha." Sokka answered.
Bee was a slight woman and she looked quite young. A mess of feathery brown hair had been tucked behind her ears, but managed to look just as untamed. She stared out from under long cow-brown lashes. Her gaze was uncomfortably piercing.
Where Beifong made up for her stature in attitude and anger, Bee was almost a whisp in the room.
"So um, are we just getting drinks?"
"Sure." Sokka winked. "It's not our usual but that's life you know? Let's be spontaneous."
She didn't like the sound of that. Somewhere in the back of her head it rang familiar.
"Ah! Don't tell me I'm late to the party!" A long arm wrapped around her shoulders from the back and she jumped. The bare skin of her neck had made contact with his cold fingers. It was that voice again! She twisted in her seat to crane her neck back. His lazy wolfish grin was almost insulting as ever.
"Jet?"
"The one and only."
He was so casual. So nonchalant. So utterly unapologetic.
Katara opened her mouth to speak but nothing came. No words. Not even air.
Jet slipped into the chair beside her, the pads of his fingers sliding along her bare neck. He was close enough that the warm puff of his laugh caught her cheek.
"We're all here." He extended his free arm out to the table. "The Nilaks and me and my friends. Can you believe it? It's almost like college all over again."
"Aang is missing." Sokka offered.
Yeah, as if Aang being here would make the reunion any less stinging.
Her words still would not come and Jet's arm was still slung heavily across her shoulders.
It would have been amusing if she had not been so caught off guard: that Zuko had been right about her attire for the evening.
She was wishing that she'd picked something with shoulders on it.
"Oh yeah, Kitty, I keep forgetting. You're not a Nilak anymore. It's weird."
"Isn't it?" Sokka pulled a little bowl of peanuts to himself.
A new man had joined them with Jet and as he chose to speak, his words overlapped with Sokka's. "You're married?"
"How long does the waitstaff usually take?"
"I am." Katara pursed her lips.
"Sometimes they take their sweet precious time." Jet replied.
"How long—I'm Longshot by the way." The new addition said.
"Oh, uh, coming up on six years." Katara.
"The atmosphere is nice or whatever but it's so empty!" Sokka.
"What did you expect? It's Tuesday." Jet.
"You have to try their Penicillin cocktail—it's a little spicy, a little sweet, and I get mine extra strong." Pip.
"That sounds terrible. Penicillin?" Sokka.
"Eh. It's aight." Jet.
"Six years?" Longshot whistled long and high. "My longest relationship was 13 months!"
"That's one long one-night-stand!" Jet clapped Pip on the back and the two of them shared a quaking laugh.
"We were official!" Longshot protested. His face had colored quickly at the comment.
"But did she know that?" Pip rumbled.
"Does your husband have any flavor other than depressed? It's getting kiiiind of old."
Katara looked at Sokka. The comment had been so abrupt but he'd managed to slip it into the bouncing conversation nonetheless. "So now you're just starting things." She bristled.
"It was only a question."
"You're not even drunk, why would you ask that!"
"I have to be drunk to make a joke?"
"We can fix that!" Jet stood abruptly, waving for the pretty waitress. "Speaking of your husband, is he really as pathetic as he sounds?"
That brought her up short. "I don't want to be here. Did you think the only way you'd run into me was by tricking me into coming along with Sokka? You're the worst Jet."
"Woah, woah!" He lifted his hands high in the air, defensive, not apologetic. "Have you already been drinking or something?"
"I don't want to be here." She pushed his arm from around her shoulders none too gently.
Sokka and Jet exchanged looks but the rest of the table was silent, watching her. She felt like some kind of zoo animal put on display. How was that fair?
Her brother pinched her cheek. "Katara."
She shoved his hand away.
"Why are you freaking out? It's just a couple drinks between a couple friends." But Sokka's voice pitched up into a tween whine. His long arms slid along the table, tensing against the smooth wood surface. He fiddled with the snack bowl's lip.
"How long have you two been friends?" She didn't hide the accusation in her tone.
Sokka couldn't meet her glare. He was too busy deliberately shelling peanuts.
She pushed her chair out from the table clutching her purse at her side. "Well, look at the time. I'll see you on Friday Sokka."
"Come on Katara, don't leave. Stay with us." Sokka.
"Yeah. We'll stop bullying your boyfriend." Jet.
"Husband." Sokka.
"Husband." Jet, Pip, and Longshot said in unison.
"We're all adults here." Sokka.
"Even if some of us act like five-year-olds." —?
Everyone at the table looked over at Bee. She had been silent up until this point and her soft voice brought them all up short. The words were as unexpected as her voice. Whether she was joking or not was difficult to tell, her tone was so dry.
"Thank you." Katara said, grateful but flustered.
Bee only gave her a very pointed look.
Katara flushed deeper at that.
"Yeah Kat, stay with us. We're just having a good time! You can leave any time you want but just give us another ten minutes." Jet's fingers found her wrist and his hand snaked its way up her arm to grip her shoulder. He gave it a little squeeze.
Before she had time to process let alone respond to his touch, and the words attached, a quiet voice sounded by her ear.
"Sorry I'm late." Their newest arrival pulled up a scratching chair beside her.
Zuko glanced down at his phone, checking the address for a third time. Dingy and old. The name and logo matched. If he was at the wrong place, he could just walk back out, right? What would they do, shoot him? Unlikely.
He took a deep breath and pushed through the illuminated doors.
"Sorry I'm late." Zuko whispered as he pulled up a scratching chair beside his wife.
In a hush, she said, "How'd you find us?"
"Sokka sent me the address." Zuko was as apologetic as always but he matched her volume.
Katara leaned down and he straightened to meet her
"I really wasn't expecting you."
"Yeah, well, I want to do better Katara. I mean it."
"I… I appreciate that." She frowned. Compromising was never easy for her nor had it become easier through the years for her to do. He watched her fighting the urge to bite her own tongue. "Thank you for coming anyway. Zuko, I mean that."
He analyzed the conscious smile she offered. It was forced but it was intentional. A small but genuine concession. She was actually glad—
"This is my replacement?"
They both jumped at Jet's raucous comment.
"Sorry? Zuko straightened in his seat, bristling. "I'm Zuko. You are…?"
Jet laughed openly. "Hey, man. Jet."
Jet offered his hand across Katara's chest. He seemed to be following Zuko's lead. The difference was that Jet was far more adept at nonchalance.
Zuko took his hand and they shook in the most wooden of gestures.
"The husband." Sokka offered.
Ah, yeah! Sokka mentioned she was married. I haven't seen her in a few years. I'm an ex of Kitty's here." His mouth twisted around the nickname. "I don't think we've met before." He smirked, lips curving up into a little crescent of a grin. "Kinda tall, looks depressed, a scar covering half his face? It's got to be you."
Zuko frowned. He gave the taller man a once over giving it his best disdain. "Uh. Yeah? I'm Zuko."
"So you already said."
"Hey babe," Katara said, using a term of endearment she had never used with Zuko before, "I was actually just leaving. I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing."
"Nah," Zuko tried for a polite smile. He shrugged. "We can chill for a bit. You're not in a hurry are you?"
Katara took his hand pointedly. "No really Zuko. I want to go home."
The discomfort in her eyes was genuine.
"Really Kitty? Your husband wants to stay."
The table watched the exchange like a ping-pong match.
"He's free to stay if he wants." She didn't smile.
"Oh, we'd love that." Jet flicked her affectionately on the jaw.
She glared, openly. "Zuko." Warning. "I'm tired."
"Sit." Jet tugged her by the arm back into her chair.
Zuko watched the whole exchange stiffly. His face hid his growing irritation. Jealousy wasn't a new emotion to him but he hadn't felt it this strongly in a very long time.
"What are you doing?"
"What am I doing Kitty?" He slung his arm around her shoulders. He leaned right up against her to engage Zuko. "So, Kitty here wants a margarita and you're having…?"
"He doesn't drink." She removed his arm forcefully.
"Hey. I can respect a man who values his health." Nonchalant, he shrugged.
"Pip is trying to get me to order a penicillin shot or something."
"That sounds…" Longshot was interrupted before he could say much else.
"Suki! Hey, over here!"
A startled Suki looked over from where she had been talking to an attractive dark-haired man. She and her acquaintance exchanged a look. He whispered something to her and she shook her head. They said a few other things and then made their way over.
"Woah. What a weird coincidence!" Sokka had never been good at lying.
"Katara, Zuko, aaaannnnddd…?"
"That's not funny."
"Alright, Sokka, this is my boyfriend Lukas. Lukas, meet Sokka."
"Pleased to meet you." Lukas' accent was thick and European—maybe French?
"Hey man," Sokka stood up, and brushed all the peanut dust and salt on his jeans. "I'm Sokka. Can't say we've met? Can I talk to Suki real quick?"
Lukas' smooth and attractive face scrunched up in displeasure. He didn't give Suki a chance to respond. He waved Sokka off and took a step away.
Suki worried her lip between perfect pearly teeth. "Fine." She was equally displeased but it looked mostly to be at Lukas' reaction. "Fine. Let's talk."
Sokka and she wandered off into the corner.
"Hey Lukas. You can sit with us."
Both he and Jet reacted to the familiarity. Katara's scowl had lessened and now she just looked weary.
Sokka was gesturing with wide strokes while Suki listened with her hip propped against the bar and her arms crossed.
"It's been a minute," Katara said.
Lukas shrugged. He sat down in the vacant seat. His eyes traveled across the room to rest on the unlikely pair.
As he and Katara exchanged pleasantries and stiff small talk, Zuko glanced over at his own woman's ex. He was taller. Slouching and at ease but his gaze was razor sharp as he met Zuko's stare.
Lukas looked forlorn as he spoke, dipping his fingers into Sokka's drink. He dropped peanuts into the glass with little plunks. "She told me I should not worry. Eh. This is difficult for me. They were together a long time."
Katara pat his hand. He shrugged again, tearing a packet of salt in two and spilling grains all over the table. He dumped the contents in Sokka's drink and swirled his finger around the lip.
"Yeah… first relationships are tricky." She agreed.
Lukas snorted. He looked pretty dejected.
"If it makes you feel any better," Katara continued, "she's been trying to avoid him. She's not interested at all."
Lukas bent a straw, the plastic crackling. His expression remained glum.
It wasn't long before Suki and Sokka returned. She was dabbing at her lip gloss. He was sulking. The two made a comical pair with their opposite emotions but there was no denying the familiarity of their bodies. They gravitated toward each other just the faintest bit.
They also made quite an attractive pair.
Suki leaned down to give Katara a side hug. "We're gonna get going. Sorry to interrupt. This is our fave spot but I did not know this place offered extra baggage tonight. If I had known, I would have avoided it like the plague." Her eyes made a point to avoid Sokka. She tugged Lukas up by the wrist and led him towards the exit.
She set her shoulders firmly and didn't look back. Lukas waved half-heartedly at Katara. Katara waved back.
Two sets of eyes followed the motion of her hand.
"Ah, tough luck man!" Jet dragged his gaze away from the retreating couple to slap Sokka on the back. "You gave it your best shot."
There was a hearty round of condolences at the table.
It appeared everyone present knew Sokka's history.
"Maaannnn that sucks." Sokka gulped down his water and began choking. He spat the water and peanuts back into the glass, spluttering. "Wha—?"
There was laughter all around.
Their waitress made her rounds, taking orders and smiling openly.
Zuko watched the table as a short while later everyone did a round of shots. Katara politely declined but allowed Jet to get her that margarita. Zuko drank a coke with too much ice.
The ambiance of the table settled down into a comfortable buzz. Chatter and drinks were exchanged. Jet kept dropping inside jokes that Sokka and Katara got, but that left Zuko in the dark.
After about an hour, he nudged his wife. "Hey. You ready to go?"
She turned to him with surprise. Her eyes were a bit glazed. It wasn't from the alcohol.
"Oh, yes. I thought you'd never ask." She whispered.
"What's that?" Jet cut in.
"We're leaving. It was… nice to catch up." Katara shrugged.
She dropped cash to cover both drinks and a tip on the table. Then, much like Suki two hours before, she took Zuko's wrist and led him out and into the cool darkness.
Sokka yelled a farewell behind them.
She was silent.
They slowly began to make their way back to the apartment. Zuko gripped her hand tightly in his. He was silent too.
They walked a block or two before anything was said.
"That's Jet?"
"Hmm?"
"That's Jet. Your first boyfriend. First crush. First… everything." Zuko's voice was very soft.
"Oh… yeah. I guess he was a lot of firsts for me." She hummed, like this had only just occurred to her. Like she hadn't already been thinking about this very fact for weeks now.
"You were most of my firsts."
"Hm." She knew that.
"You're the first person to mean everything to me and love me and want me and then… and then to… throw me away."
Katara stopped walking. Her mouth was suddenly very dry. She stared at him.
"Katara, I need—I don't know how to say this. There is only so much that one man can bear on his own. All by myself—that's what it feels like. I can't be alone much longer. What do you want me to do?"
"Zuko, I don't understand… You make it sound like I've left you or—I don't know cheated or something. Like we're separated. I don't…"
He threw his hands up in irritation. "Kat. I love you. It doesn't seem like you love me. We're practically roommates. Practically separated except for sharing a bed. You basically don't even talk to me unless you're making a grocery list or something."
"Of course I love you." She squeezed his hand gently but huffed in exasperation. "Of course I do. And… of course I ask you what groceries you want." She tried for a laugh.
He didn't humor her. "What does Jet mean to you? When was the last time you saw him." His voice was even like tapping nails into a coffin. "Toph told me something I didn't believe at first. She said there was a man you'd been caught with outside of work. I didn't believe her but now I might."
"I haven't touched another man since I married you." Her tongue was numb in her mouth, enlarged and dry. She couldn't get the words to flow. In sentiment, her words were honest. In practice, the warmth of Jet's hands still lingered on her skin.
"He touches you like that isn't true."
"Well I'm not lying."
"Just tell me the truth. I can take it."
"I haven't touched another man since I met you." This was important. It was imperative that he believe her. More so than anything else.
But why. Why did she care?
"Please—" His voice cracked. "What I saw back there—it makes sense now. Everything makes sense. You want him but—I need us to work. It doesn't matter if he's touched you. Please just tell me we can make us work again. It's like you don't care! It's like you've stopped trying to. You never tell me what's going on in your head anymore…"
"I'm frustrated Zuko!"
"You think you're the only one?"
"I—"
"You're angry."
"Of course I am!"
"You're always angry now."
"Am I not allowed to be angry?" Her tone was rising and all he had to answer her was fatigue.
"I didn't say that."
"Every time I try to tell you HOW I feel, you get upset or you hide or you just ignore me! You want to know? I've stopped telling you things because you don't want to hear me. I'm angry at Sokka and I'm angry with Jet and I'm angry that I came tonight and—I promise I haven't touched him! I haven't!" She stopped.
And what?
Why was she angry with Zuko? His suspicion was valid. He had every right to ask who Jet was when he'd seen their interactions with his own eyes. Of course Toph had told him. That was what a good friend does.
Just like Toph had said.
The ire in her face cooled, though the flush stayed just as bright red and blotchy.
It didn't matter what she claimed. Zuko had no reason to believe her because giving up was so close to what she had been doing the past year. Maybe even longer than that. She was his wife and his only friend had put her to shame.
Icy shame. That's what was freezing her in place. "And I'm sorry."
He blinked at her. Once. Twice. "What?"
Obviously, he had been ready for an argument but he was completely unprepared for an apology.
Katara crossed her arms and stared him down. "I'm sorry Zuko. For Being an inattentive ass. For years and—"
He was stepping backward, something she could only describe as confusion filling his eyes. "What—! Kat. What?"
He'd been ready to beg on his knees.
He'd been ready to grovel. It was obvious. He was totally and completely and utterly unprepared for this. Pitiful as the reality was, Zuko was not ready for anything other than blame.
Heartbreak probably.
An ending.
He'd been preparing himself for the end those two hours in the bar. Katara knew him well enough to see his fear melting into confusion. His life experiences had never mirrored this conversation. It was the only explanation.
"I'm trying to apologize for everything!" Even her apologies were an attack. She didn't want to yell at him! This was all wrong. She was doing this wrong! "I'm so tired Zuko. I don't want to be angry anymore. I'm sorry."
Her arms hung limp at her sides. All the fight had left her. She was defeated.
"I'll never leave you. I'm never going to leave." He said.
"Maybe you should." She shrugged, lifting defeated hands to him as tribute.
He wrapped up her hunched form in his arms. "But you've stayed with me. Even though I make you mad and even though I'm worthless—you stayed. That's more than anyone else has—"
She was detangling herself from his squeezing arms and there was actual fury in her body and in her eyes. "Don't you ever say that about yourself ever again Zuko. That's wrong. You're wrong. You are not worthless. You are not."
He shrunk back from her wrath.
She advanced, her hands trembling. She crossed her arms to stop the shaking but her fingers gripped her own forearms. Her nails bit into the thick knit of her sweater-dress. "This is what you think about yourself?"
It occurred to her that maybe he had never spoken these words aloud but that they had always been there.
All the guilt and indignation welled up in her chest.
Crying. She was crying and he was too and that was ridiculous because weren't they both adults?
Wasn't she the monster in this situation?
Had he always felt this way?
It explained so much. It explained too much. It made everything make sense.
Katara stepped back from him. Her hands no longer shook. Shame. Shame was so black and cold and she had never felt anything quite like this before. Suddenly, Katara wanted to fix him. Maybe he thought he was worthless because she had treated him that way. That was the scariest thought of all.
"Zuko," gently. Ever so gently she said, "Zuko. How did it happen? What did—who did this to your face?"
He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Can you tell me about your dad? Or is that too hard?"
"I don't think I can."
"Maybe someday?"
"I don't know."
She squeezed his hand gently, "Alright. Alright. Can you forgive me? And forgive me for yelling at you? I want to do better. I've spent so many years being... just bitter I guess. And I'd forgotten what it was like to be happy with you. I want to want you again. Can you forgive me?"
"I think that…" Zuko looked into her eyes. Tear streaks still glittered in the hollow of his damaged cheek. He scrubbed his face. "Am I allowed to say yes, or will you start yelling again?"
"I want to fix me."
"I want you to be happy with me. I want you to want to be with me."
"Alright. Alright, I promise, I do want to be with you. We can try? Try again."
"Please." His voice was a desperate little whisper.
Katara stepped into him, tugging him by the hem of his t-shirt. Her hips pressed into him as she leaned in. Zuko hesitated but Katara wrapped her free arm up around his neck and drew his face down to hers.
"I'm sorry." He breathed.
"I love you." She corrected him.
It was an uncomfortable kiss. His lips quivered against her seeking ones. She pressed her mouth into his with her best attempt at fervency.
He kissed her back but she could feel the fear.
What had she done? All these years. This kiss devoid of desire and marked by hope only highlighted how long it had been since they had slept together.
She drew away from him, trying to get a better look at his face.
He was grimacing.
"That bad, huh?" She asked sheepishly.
A laugh caught in his throat. It was so embarrassingly obvious that they were both out of practice. She rubbed a soothing circle into his lower back and offered up a grin.
And then, they were both laughing.
It felt surreal.
Katara took his hand firmly in hers and led the way back toward their apartment. Zuko wrapped his arm tentatively around her waist.
Katara knew that she was stubborn. She intended to use that to her advantage. She would not back down now.
A/N:
Zuko and Katara obviously haven't fixed everything. there's so much pain and mistrust between them. it'll take work. don't think Katara is off the hook either! I hope her transition has been gradual and believable.
see you next Monday!
thank you to everyone reading! especially to everyone who left comments. you're making me so happy! I was worried no one would be interested in the ending after 3 years.
