Chapter Four

If we had a daughter

I'd watch and could not save her

The emotional torture

From the head of your high table

She'd do what you taught her

She'd meet the same cruel fate

Ron brought home Chinese takeaway and that was exciting. Hermione couldn't help but think how low the bar was for him that this was a big deal.

Hermione was opening up the containers and putting them onto plates when she heard Ron clearing his throat behind her. She turned around to find him on one knee in the middle of their kitchen that really needed to be mopped.

He pulled out a little ring box and popped it open. A diamond, her least favourite stone, sparkled at her, at least it wasn't heart shaped, but again she felt the sinking awareness of how low the bar was for Ron.

"Hermione Granger. I really wanna have kids and Mum said this was what needed to be done, so will you marry me?" Ron's earnest expression was completely at odds with the words coming out of his mouth.

Hermione couldn't help but frown at the sight of Ron kneeling before her, the diamond ring waiting to be slipped onto her finger, his proposal replaying in her ears.

I really wanna have kids. Didn't they just argue about this? Didn't she say that they weren't ready?

Mum said this was what needed to be done. Seriously? Did he have to bring up his mother when proposing to her? Was this really Molly's idea or did Ron actually want to take that step with her?

The life that awaited her flashed before her eyes.

They'd marry, probably in the back garden at the Burrow even though that was the opposite of her dream wedding. Move to another place, a bigger one to accommodate the children they'd have at some point, more rooms to upkeep, more rooms for her to upkeep. Her last day of work as she prepared to give birth, leaving behind the career and research she adored, saying goodbye to Theo. Then a fussing baby in her arms, Ron nowhere to be found, the baby's needs coming first before the overwhelming to-do list around the house. More messes, more arguments, money tighter, her children growing up in a resentful environment. Ron still getting whatever he wants despite her pleas. And her self just fading away, books she wanted to read untouched, dreams unfulfilled. It sounded like hell on earth.

"No," Hermione said.

"What?" Ron looked at her in confusion, tilting his head at her as though he could not possibly have heard what he thought that he did.

"I said no," Hermione repeated, more firmly this time, more sure that she was making the right decision.

"What do you mean no?" He asked, still kneeling on the floor as though he hadn't considered this possibility, hadn't planned what to do in this eventuality. He certainly wasn't the strategist that he had been during the war anymore.

"You know what 'no' means Ron, I don't want to marry you. Do you need me to explain any further?" She knew that her tone was a little harsh, but honestly how dare he?

"Well yeah, like why the hell not?" Ron rose from his kneeling position, frustrated that things weren't going the way he imagined.

"I don't love you anymore," Hermione admitted in a soft voice, in doing so she felt as though a giant weight lifted from chest.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you do." He reached for her hand and she stepped away from him.

"'Mione quite playing around, this isn't funny," Ron's voice rose in anger.

"I'm not laughing," Hermione said sternly, crossing her arms.

"What the hell 'Mione? This isn't how it's supposed to go, you're supposed to say 'yes.' We're supposed to get married, get a house and have kids."

"Honestly Ron, I don't even know why you want kids, you've never been involved with Victoire or James and Albus," she pointed out.

"C'mon, even I know it would be dumb for Harry to bring James and Albus to a pub. And Victoire is a girl, what am I supposed to do with her?"

"Oh, so if we had a girl you'd want nothing to do with her?" Hermione glared at Ron and wondered how she had ever convinced herself that this relationship was working for her.

"It's different with girls, they don't like the same things as boys, they're supposed to be with their mums helping them in the kitchen and stuff." Ron was so frazzled that he didn't even seem to be hearing what he was saying.

"You seriously did not just say that." Hermione felt like she was waking up from a dream and seeing her life for what it really was. Was this what he'd thought all this time? Why had he ever wanted to date her? "Is that what you think all girls are supposed to do? Cook and clean and birth children and wait on their husbands hand and foot while they go off to do whatever the hell they please!?"

"I don't know why you're suddenly making a big deal out of this 'Mione. That's what my mum did, that's what Fleur did, and when it was Ginny's time she quit Quidditch and did the same thing too. Now it's your turn!"

Hermione could feel her curls begin to spark as she snarled at him. "Perhaps your mother and Fleur wanted those things but I don't! And I've made that clear again and again!" She stomped her foot and felt like a child, but it was better than hexing his bollocks off, which was sounding better with every word he spoke. "I want a career and to make an impact with the work I do! And Ginny didn't quit completely. She and Harry talked and prepared and she returned to the League when both of her maternity leaves were done! As much as we talk, nothing ever gets resolved! You just brush me off and go do whatever the hell it is you do!"

"Because you want to stick me with things you're supposed to do! Honestly you can't expect me to do housework!" Ron said the word with disgust, as if it were beneath him.

"It's called doing your share, we're both working adults who should be managing things together but you don't want to cooperate! You have no consideration for the things that need to be done and put everything on me as if I too didn't just come home from my job!"

"Well maybe if you didn't work you'd be able to do all that stuff and raise a baby!" Ron had to be completely delusional if he thought that this line of reasoning was going to convince her to change her mind.

"But we need me to work, Ron. We're barely scraping enough for our bills as it is!" Hermione scowled, her frustration overwhelming her.

Ron scoffed, "We both know you don't need to work, you have all that money from your parents sitting in the bank unused and yet you insist on going to that boring research job of yours as if you're still a Hogwarts student who needs to complete an essay and have a professor pat you on the head. Well it's time to grow up, 'Mione! It's time to settle down, put that money to good use and get us out of this shitty flat and into a real house where we can have a family. I'm giving you the choice now, take it or leave it." He thrust the box with the diamond ring in front of her.

She could take the ring, commit to him and the life he wanted, or leave, free to be the witch she could be without him around her neck like a millstone. In the end, it really wasn't a choice at all.

"I'm leaving Ron," she pushed the ring box away from her. "I already told you no, and I meant it. You have no respect for me and frankly I've lost any respect for you. I think it's best if we break up and I move out."

Ron was doing his best impression of a fish, his mouth opening and closing impotently until he bit out, "I can't believe you, you'd really just waste all the years we've had together?"

"I'd rather have wasted all those years than spend another minute with you." And with those parting words Hermione turned to leave the kitchen.

"Mum was right about you, you're a selfish bitch who only thinks about herself!" Ron called out after her.

"I could say the same to you but I'm tired of arguing, I'll be out as soon as I can, goodnight Ron, thanks for getting Chinese."

So now I've gotta run

So I can undo this mistake

At least I've gotta try

The capillaries in my eyes are bursting

If our love died would that be the worst thing?

"Hermione?" Theo called for her attention while she spaced out, or possibly dozed for a few minutes. She wasn't sure which one, probably the latter considering she hadn't slept a wink last night. After rejecting Ron's proposal, Hermione kept tossing and turning in bed, her mind unable to calm down. She was shocked that she had actually broken up with Ron, but also excited, but also nervous about the big change, but also hopeful that everything was going to be alright. It was a conflicting whirlwind of emotions and hadn't led to sleep.

After abandoning her futile attempt to sleep, she decided to get up and start packing her things, trying to expel all the energy she had buzzing in her veins. She was crunching numbers and drafting a rental budget with her current salary when her alarm rang to get ready for work. She showered and dressed quickly and dashed out of the flat, not wanting to bump into Ron in case he decided to come back home in the morning, because of course he had gone out after their argument and hadn't returned, at least this time he had the excuse of rejection to drink the night away. Not that he ever needed much excuse to drink into the early hours, yet another thing that she would not miss.

"Yes, sorry Theo but can you repeat that again?" She straightened up to give her colleague her full, albeit drowsy, attention. Theo looked at her and put down his quill that was marking up the parchment they were reviewing.

"Hermione, is everything okay? You don't look well, are you sick? Do you need to go home?" Theo asked, blue eyes observing her with concern. She knew that he was taking note of everything about her, his eyes lingered on the dark circles under her eyes. She chewed her lip in self-consciousness.

"Oh Gods no, that's the last place I want to be right now," Hermione answered and when she saw his brows scrunch in confusion she began explaining. "Ron proposed last night but I said no and then we had a whole argument and I broke up with him. I spent all of last night packing my things so that I can move out as soon as I find a new place. I started looking at listings this morning and I really hope I find something soon because if I couldn't stand living with him before I certainly won't be able to now," Hermione rambled on with no filter, everything that she had pent-up was flowing out of her.

It wasn't until Theo laid a hand on hers that she stopped talking and realised with embarrassment that she was spilling all of her problems to him. But he didn't seem to mind that she was confiding so much to him, in fact he was smiling at her, her sleep-deprived mind was probably making his grin seem wider than it really was.

"Hermione, I'm really proud of you," Theo said and she was taken aback by the words. "I mean, it's upsetting that you're going through an awful time and I can't imagine the stress you're under right now, but I'm glad that you are taking this step. Can I be honest with you for a moment?"

"Sure," Hermione said, wondering where he was going with this.

"It's just, sometimes you seemed so unhappy and sad. When we're working together and you're in your element you shine so bright but once we're done it's like casting a finite on a lumos. There were times when I've wanted to ask if everything was okay, but I didn't know how you would feel about me intruding on your personal life. But now that I know what's been going on, I'm so proud of you for taking that step for yourself so that you can be happy. And I hope you don't mind my saying all this now because I do care about you. You're more than just my favourite colleague, Hermione. I like to think of you as my friend."

Tears welled-up in Hermione's eyes at Theo's words. Someone had actually noticed her and knew that deep down she wasn't okay even when she wouldn't admit it to herself. How many others had noticed that she was tired of the life she had been living but were also too afraid to ask? Or worse, how many didn't even bother?

Hermione began crying then and Theo quickly supplied a fresh handkerchief, pressed soft silk with his initials embroidered in a corner, it was perfumed with a lovely scented oil, no doubt an extra touch that Draco had added. Draco who took care of Theo with such loving care, Draco who packed lunches, who would never disappear all night drinking, who would never expect Theo to work all day and then come home and take care of the house. She didn't necessarily want to have a house husband; she just wanted someone who didn't think that she was little more than a servant. It hurt so much to discover that was all Ron had thought she was good for after all they'd been through.

"It's okay, let it all out," Theo rubbed soothing circles on her back as everything she had held back for years poured out. After a few minutes the tears stopped, and she composed herself with several deep breaths.

"Better?" Theo asked, at some point he had conjured a glass of water and was now offering it to her. Hermione accepted it and took a few sips.

"Better," Hermione declared, setting the glass down. She really did feel better, lighter, freer.

"Great, now let's find you a new place to live," Theo clapped his hands together enthusiastically and summoned his copy of the Prophet, picking up his quill and turning to the pages where available houses and flats were being listed. "Were you looking at magical homes or somewhere Muggle?"

"Theo, we're working! I can take care of my problems on my own time, we have to finish reviewing this research." She picked up the parchment they had been working on, but Theo plucked it out of her hand and set it down where she couldn't reach it.

"That research report isn't due until next week. Oh look, here's a one-bedroom in the city with floo connection already available, seems a bit cramped though," Theo frowned at the square footage but circled the listing regardless. "Should we go into Muggle London for lunch? They certainly have papers with housing listings as well, yeah?"

"Theo, we've already wasted enough time when there's so much we have to do," Hermione pointed to the open page of her work planner where their to-do list and deadlines were listed.

But Theo merely waved her off. "I am perfectly aware of where we are with all of our projects and I know that we have plenty of time until our next deadlines. Also helping out my friend is absolutely not a waste of time. The way I see it, the sooner you're settled in your new life, the sooner you can fully concentrate on your work again. Now what do you think about a cottage?"

Hermione sighed in defeat; Theo could be as stubborn as she was, with a quick-witted tongue to boot, she knew it was futile to sway him from his current path. Still, a grateful smile tugged up at the corners of her mouth. Someone was actually helping her, for once she wasn't completely alone. She was dreading telling her friends about her and Ron's breakup and her plan to move out, because other than Theo and Draco for the most part all of her friends were also Ron's. Not a single one of them would help her right now.

Swallowing down the tears that threatened again, she summoned her bag and pulled out her own marked up copy of the Prophet as well as the property listings from the Muggle newspaper and her phone where she had bookmarked a few listings on her web browser.

"I think I'm not ready for a cottage and would prefer a flat. Something I can manage by myself and can accommodate all of my books within a certain price range. A lot of natural light would be a plus," she listed her preferences as she arranged everything in front of them.

"I daresay we can find something that meets those expectations," Theo looked over the specs for the places she had highlighted, his tone was teasing and lighthearted but his face was fully concentrated, as if finding her a new place to live was in the same calibre of importance as developing a new prototype for a time turner.

"And Theo," she said.

"Mm?" He looked up from his perusal.

"You're my friend, too," she admitted and the smile on his face was big enough that it revealed a left cheek dimple that made her heart skip a few beats.

Within a few days, Hermione held the keys to her new flat. It was somewhere Muggle that she found on a list that Theo helpfully provided one morning. It was a little ways away from the city itself and she would miss being close to work and Diagon Alley, but it was a necessary sacrifice in order to find the perfect flat within her budget. And the flat was perfect in every sense of the word: cosy with big windows that looked out onto the quiet shop-lined street; the kitchen was smaller than she was used to but it was fine considering it was just herself now; the bathroom was recently renovated, and the built-in shelves around the fireplace might have been a big factor in her final decision. She would be able to have the majority of her favourite books out at once.

It was all hers, just for her. She couldn't believe it. She wished that Crookshanks was still alive, he would have loved it. The lease had allowed for pets too, perhaps she'd get another cat once she was settled. She smiled at the thought.

Hermione had to dip into her savings to place the necessary deposits and have funds for the furniture she needed to acquire, but for once she was at peace when she withdrew the money, knowing it would be worth it. She could rework her budget and come up with a plan to pay herself back to replenish those savings. It also felt like a big 'fuck you' to Ron that she was spending that money on herself like the 'selfish bitch' she now was.

Now she was hastily putting together the last of her things into a trunk, the rest of her luggage and boxes were lined up by the door. The move needed to be as efficient as possible as she would have to take multiple trips and she absolutely did not want to risk an encounter with Ron. But it was the weekend and the weather was gorgeous, which meant the Alley would be bustling. Ron would be too busy in the shop and there was no way he'd be able to cut his shift short.

As soon as she snapped shut the last latch of her trunk, she heard a knock on the door.

"Shit," Hermione cursed, wondering who it could be, as she didn't have time to talk to anyone. She grumbled as she went to the door and looked out the peephole, her annoyance replaced with surprise when she saw who was waiting on the other side.

"Theo, Draco!" She gasped when she opened the door for them, "What are you doing here?"

"It's moving day! We thought you could use a helping hand," Theo explained excitedly as he waltzed inside, immediately finding her packed-up possessions and assessing the volume.

"While I do appreciate the surprise and the gesture to once again help me, how did you find this address?" Hermione asked, searching her memories for when she would have given that information.

"We have our ways, Granger," Draco smirked as he stood next to Theo, "Is this it?" He motioned to the neatly stacked and labelled boxes and pieces of luggage. A stark contrast to the chaos that was the rest of the flat that the wizards were politely ignoring.

"Yes, I literally just finished, I was going to do one last sweep just in case I forgot something, and then start taking things to the new flat," Hermione said, though she might skip the check-over as she was suddenly feeling very self-conscious about having these wizards inside the home she desperately wanted to escape, and wanted them out as soon as possible.

She nervously eyed the rumpled couch Ron had been sleeping on, articles of his clothes scattered around the living room with dusty corners, the kitchen with the overflowing trash bin, the bedroom door opened just enough to show the piles of used bedsheets on the floor, a fresh set of sheets lay folded at the foot of the bed for Ron to make when he was reunited with the bed he had been kicked out of. She had considered changing the sheets altogether but fuck that, this was the first day of his new life without her doing everything for him.

"You do that, we'll take all this and meet you outside your new flat," Draco said, he produced two shrunken luggage trolleys and transfigured them back to their normal size. Theo promptly began loading them, levitating the boxes onto the trolleys to then cast a featherlight charm on everything to easily cart away.

"You don't have to do this," Hermione began.

"Hermione, we know that," Theo smiled at her. "We're doing this because we want to."

Hermione was touched by it all, she felt relieved, the stress of the day melting away from their thoughtful consideration. They could have been spending their day enjoying the sunshine. Instead they willingly showed-up at her doorstep, volunteering themselves to help her move and came prepared to do so. She gave them her new address and said she would meet them there shortly.

Theo waved goodbye cheerily and Draco looked at him with an affection that made her heart clench. That was what she wanted, too. It was too bad that supportive partners like Draco Malfoy didn't grow on trees.

Alone now, she turned back to the flat where all traces of her had been removed. It looked like a bachelor pad, she supposed it technically was one now since it would be just Ron. He probably wouldn't be here long either and would go somewhere he could afford, if they'd been struggling with bills together he'd probably drown in them now without her income. She was glad she had the foresight to take her name off the lease, the last thing she needed was risking her own credit with any debt he might accumulate.

As sad as that possibility was, he wasn't her problem anymore and she didn't have to worry about him. She had tried so hard with him but she might as well have been teaching a brick wall to boil water. With that, she penned a brief note to him.

Ron,

I have found my own place and have moved out. The flat is all yours.

Here is my key and you can remove me from the wards.

Take care,

H.J.G.

Hermione had nothing more to say to him. They had said their piece to one another and this was her final goodbye to their relationship. She knew that at some point she'd have to encounter him again as they still had Harry in common, but she'd deal with that when the occasion came as it inevitably would. Because Hermione knew better than to ask Harry to choose between her and Ron. She already knew what that choice would be.

Another knock sounded at the door and Hermione thought it was Draco and Theo coming back for more of her things, but they had already taken away everything.

"Well, speak of the devil," she muttered when she looked through the peephole to see Harry Potter himself standing there.

"Harry, what brings you here?" Hermione greeted her friend, "And hello there, James," she cooed to the toddler latching on to Harry's hand; he had grown so much since last she had seen him. Harry had Albus strapped to his back and the baby was passed out, his drool dripping down Harry's back. Hermione swallowed a snort. Harry couldn't be more of the antithesis to Ron if he tried. If she'd been in any way in doubt of her decision, Harry watching both his children on a Saturday morning while his wife was at Quidditch training with the Harpies would have been a perfect example of why she was leaving. Ron would never.

"Hi," James adorably waved up at her with a toothy smile.

"'Mione, I'm so glad you're here, I was hoping we could talk," Harry said, rubbing at his scar as he always did when he was nervous.

"Actually Harry, as much as I would love to talk and catch up with you, I really can't today. I just had my things moved over to my new place and I need to go over there now," she explained, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder to leave.

"You're already moving out? You just broke up. I was hoping I could talk you out of this. Ron's been a mess." Of course Harry would side with Ron. Well, he came all this way for nothing because Hermione would absolutely not be entertaining this conversation.

"Oh no, Harry, there is no talking me back into a relationship with Ron. I'm done with him and there's no way things will ever work between us," Hermione stepped through the threshold and closed the door behind her, the sound of it clicking shut for the last time was music to her ears.

"There, I'm out, my keys left inside. I'm not coming back and there's nothing you or anyone can say to me that could make me go back in there and be with Ron," Hermione said, now making her way down the hall to the stairs. Harry picked-up James and chased after her.

"'Mione I don't understand, can you just explain what happened?" Harry pleaded with her.

She sighed, and turned back to face him.

"I wasn't happy anymore, Harry. I felt alone and miserable and I don't love him - not like romantic love - although honestly I don't really even like him either. He treated me like a cross between his new mum and his maid and honestly that's not what I want for my life." Hermione searched his face for anything resembling understanding and to her complete lack of surprise found none. "The sad part is that it took me so long to realise those things and I would have ended things sooner had I come to terms with my own feelings, and not waited until he decided to pop the question for me to finally do something about them."

"But I still don't understand, Ron's a good guy, what happened between you two?" Harry asked, as though Hermione hadn't just explained it to him. It's not like it was a secret that Ron wanted her to quit working and start popping out babies, and there was no way that he had proposed to her without discussing it with Harry first. "I don't understand why this all boils down to housework!"

It was easy for Harry to say since Kreacher had been replaced by his son after the ancient elf's death. Ginny's schedule was busy, but Harry loved to cook and the new elf was primarily the one that kept things tidy. So he was literally having trouble comprehending that other men didn't cooperate around the house and support their wives in their career aspirations.

"Harry, like I said, I'd love to talk but I can't, my friends are helping me move and I need to get to them. They must be waiting at my door." She smiled at him before she apparated away. "Raincheck for next week? We can meet for tea?" At his nod, she turned on the spot and vanished with a crack.