CHAPTER 34:
COURTSHIP'S BEGINNING
Deep within the Erdtree, from where she was crucified, Marika felt the wrath of the Greater Will. It roared without sound, raged without limbs, glared without eyes. And despite the pain it put her in, she laughed, laughing loud, laughing hard, in sheer mockery of the Greater Will, and her consort, her literal other half.
Silence! snapped the voice of said consort.
"Thou cannot silence me, Dear Consort," she sneered. "I will laugh as long and loudly as I can! After all, what greater thing to laugh at, than this farce of an Order crumbling around thee!"
As she began anew her mockery, suddenly, she felt her body transform, until it was Radagon's crucified on the arc of light. "Our Order is not a farce."
Ours? Marika asked, no longer able to speak through his crumbling mouth, but she could into his mind. It had been mine once upon a time, and I doth not recall ever handing the reins to thee. Thou doth presume overly much, Dear Consort.
"The Greater Will handed those reins to me the moment thy madness and folly became apparent. The Golden Order will continue the way I see fit, even should the sky fall, even if the world crumbles. Nobody and no-one will stand in my way, especially not the Tarnished thou hath sent Grace out to."
And yet, Dear Ranni has slain her Two Fingers, to say nothing of the Baleful Shadows sent after her. Her chosen champion now has two Great Runes. And with Rennala now sane, I am sure those thorns will prove little hindrance to them.
"Should they make their way past those thorns…then I will slay them myself. It matters not who intrudes here, not this Harry Potter, not any of their associates, and certainly not that treacherous slattern of a daughter I sired. Nobody will usurp me. Nobody will usurp the Greater Will's true vassal."
Ahh, the hubris of thine rants is amusing, Dear Consort. Thou doth dare the cosmos itself to prove thee wrong…
The stress of the previous day ensured Harry's sleep was far from restful. He woke up early the next morning, only to find Ranni sitting in a nearby chair. "Good morning," she said. "I put Delphi to sleep with a sorcery. But she suggested I be here for thee when you wake."
Harry sat up in bed. "…So, you're the doll, her doll."
Ranni nodded. "My main body is still healing. It slumbers. That Mother repaired me is a minor miracle, but…that body needs time to rest. But my mind and soul art restless for now." She moved over to the bed, and sat down next to Harry. "…I shalt not bore thee with the details of mine battle with the Two Fingers. 'Twas hard-fought. But I prevailed. I waited until I was sure 'twas dead ere I used the Portkey with what could hath been my dying breath."
"…You scared me, Ranni, you scared everyone."
"I know. But…I knew that, in freeing myself from the Two Fingers…it could mean my death…or rather, the destruction of my body. My soul would perhaps linger, either bound to the remains of this doll, or else simply wandering this world, like Melina, only, I am not sure I would be able to manifest myself. To be sure, I left as much of my notes with Mother so that, if I did die, she had a means to bring me back…but thankfully, enough of my essence was tethered to my main body that all she had to do was mend it." She turned to look at him. "I…thank thee for thine concern. In truth, since we hath met, thou hath swiftly become an indispensable part of mine inner circle, thee and thine. Not as mere assistants or accomplices or vassals…but rather, as kith and kin."
Harry looked to Ranni, before motioning for her to go on. "…Thou hath all become dear to me in so short a time. True, I hath been Delphi's confidant for a long time, and I hath been a voyeur on thine lives long ere thou came to the Lands Between. But now…I doth not wish to lose thee…or to leave thee bereft of my presence. That is why…I wish to ask thee something very important to us both, something I would not ask thee at all lightly. I doth not need an answer today or tomorrow…but once we hath overthrown the Greater Will, I would hath an answer then."
She then got off the bed, and then knelt before him, clasping his hands with two of her own, before peeking out from beneath her hat. And then, quietly, solemnly, she asked, "Harry James Potter, Saviour of Magical Britain, Chosen Tarnished, Slayer of Voldemort, Godrick the Grafted, and General Radahn…wouldst thou doth me a truly great honour, one greater than I deserve, and become the Consort Eternal of I, Lunar Princess Ranni, Empyrean and Scion of the House of Caria?"
Harry stared at her. True, there was Rennala bringing up that very notion earlier, but he was startled by Ranni actually seeming more amenable to the idea, especially given her own earlier embarrassed reaction. Then again, he realised that she was becoming more…affectionate of late. Especially with that kiss before she headed to the Ainsel River.
He wasn't sure what to make of her offer. It was all so sudden, and with his own feelings towards her so complicated. He simply stared at her in shock.
After a moment, Ranni let go of his hands, a sad smile on her lips as she stood. "Forgive me…I hath been too forward, it seems."
But as she stood, Harry said, "…Ranni…" As she turned to look at him, he said, "…I'll consider it. I just need…time to think about it, okay?"
"…Of course," Ranni said, her smile becoming warmer. She went to leave, only to look over her shoulder. "But…Harry. I thank thee…for everything." And then, she left, leaving Harry with his whirling, turmoil-riddled thoughts…
Harry wandered out to the Three Sisters in the early dawn light, augmented by the ever-present glow of the distant Erdtree. In the distance, he saw Adula watching him. She had gotten used to him, so her gaze was no longer wary. If anything, it was welcoming. He waved to the Dragon, while walking towards the cliffs behind the Three Sisters, overlooking the ocean.
As he did so, he thought about his feelings for Ranni. While he had been wary of her from the start, especially once she confessed her role in her brother's death, she had proved to be a reliable ally from an early stage, more so than Gideon Ofnir. The fact that she had helped Delphi reconcile with him also helped.
Over the past few weeks, his feelings for her had evolved. There was no denying she was attractive in many ways. Both her doll body and her original appearance were beautiful. She was also intelligent. Then again, by those metrics alone, he could have shacked up with Hermione, and he had thought Ranni lacked much of Hermione's compassion and passion.
But there was something Ranni understood all too well that Hermione didn't quite get, and Ginny never quite got herself. Ranni had had her life dictated for her from an early age, and while she could have withstood the duties involved with being a Carian princess, well, being chosen as an Empyrean, and being made a pawn of the Two Fingers and the Greater Will was something he understood. After all, he had his own life stage-managed by Dumbledore.
And Delphi adored Ranni, looking up to her. Delphi never had a proper mother figure. Andromeda was closer to a grandmother, Hermione and Ginny and Luna like aunts.
Another problem was admittedly on his end. Even without his disquiet about her morals, he had become very guarded about whom he let into his heart. The clusterfuck that was his relationship with Cho, as well as the less disastrous but still doomed relationship with Ginny, had caused him to close off his heart. His adopting Delphi also precluded relationships with many, especially once her parentage came out.
Maybe it was time he let down the walls around his heart. Maybe it was time he took a risk with Ranni. By now, he could confidently call her a friend. It had taken time to get used to the idea, and yet…he was fine with that. And a good friend at that, a close friend. He definitely loved her as a friend.
But could he love her as more than that?
He arrived back at the Carian Manor in time for Delphi to emerge from the Expanded Trunk, rubbing her eyes, before she smiled. "Hey, Dad."
"Hey, Delphi. It's…been a wild past few weeks, hasn't it?"
"Yeah, but it's been fun, when it hasn't been scary," Delphi said, before she peered at him. "Dad…what's the matter?"
After a moment, Harry sat on the nearby bed and patted the mattress next to him. Delphi sat down. "…Delphi…do you see Ranni as a mother?"
Delphi was struck by the question, and frowned, rather cutely he thought, while pondering it. Eventually, humming a little, she said, "…I guess she's like my mother, like I'd want my mum to be. I…I know Bellatrix Lestrange was my birth mother, but…I haven't really had a real mother. And yet, Ranni's done all the things I thought a mother should be. I'd want her to be my mum. Dad…why are you asking me this?"
"…Ranni asked me to marry her," Harry said. "If that's the case, then yes, she'll become your mum. I…I'm just trying to figure out exactly how I feel about her."
"But you do like her," Delphi said. As he looked to her, she said, "I see the way you look at her sometimes, Dad. It's like…you want to get closer, and yet, you don't want to. Aunt Hermione noticed it too. She called it the Hedgehogs' Dilemma. Some guy called Schopenhauer said it. Hedgehogs want to huddle together for warmth, but their spines won't let them. If you want to get close to someone, she said, you must be willing to let them close enough to hurt you." She looked to Harry. "…Was it ever like that with me, Dad?"
Delphi's question caught him off guard. For a moment, he wanted to reassure her, but Delphi was surprisingly mature and smart for her age, so he decided to tell her the truth. "A little, Delphi. At first, when I found you at the Rowle residence…some part of me was scared, because of your parents. But the rest of me realised…you were not Voldemort or Bellatrix. You were just a little girl, an orphan like I was, raised by guardians who didn't want you. Even after I adopted you, I still felt a little worry…until you started calling me Dad. I had already accepted you as my daughter, but…it only truly felt that way when that happened, Delphi. It hurt so much when Skeeter ran that damn article, and it nearly tore us apart."
"And Ranni helped bring us back together," Delphi said. She looked up at him. "She needs us, Dad. We keep her heart alive. I'm not saying you should marry her…but I'd love to have her as my mum."
"Of course, you would, Delphi," Harry said with a smile, ruffling her hair playfully. "Of course, you would…"
The Hedgehog's Dilemma…Harry went to the Expanded Trunk and looked it up in the library, which included many books of Hermione's. It was a pretty apt description of his situation, and Ranni's. Thanks to his experiences with the Dursleys, with his fame and infamy, with betrayal, with Dumbledore's manipulations, and with the fickleness of Magical Britain's attitude towards him, it was hardly surprising that he'd close himself off to a degree. It didn't help that many of those who wanted to wed him were fangirls. Ginny, for all that she tried to make things work (as did he), didn't quite understand him. Cho certainly didn't.
Ranni, meanwhile, was born to royalty, chosen as an Empyrean, having to suffer through her father callously discarding her mother and her fate being arrested by Radahn's actions, even if Radahn's actions were well-meant. Radagon's actions towards her mother may have certainly caused her to close off her heart, on top of the reserved nature of many royals. And perhaps agreeing to slay her beloved half-brother took a toll on her heart as well.
In the end, they had a surprising amount in common. Thrown into the manipulations of the powerful, having their life dictated to them as so-called 'chosen ones', having only a small circle of trusted friends. And yet, in the end, they were also lonely.
True, he wasn't sure he could forgive her actions, but even with the mitigating circumstances (Godwyn's consenting to die, the Shattering being a war few truly foresaw, not even Ranni), he could now tell she was punishing herself, in her own quiet way. But Rennala being cured of her madness and Godwyn being reborn as Fia had helped leaven her heart. And it helped leaven his own.
But it wasn't love he felt for her, not the romantic kind of love. He felt attraction to her, yes, despite his earlier misgivings about her, and the kind of love one would feel for one's friends. But romantic love?
But he came to an epiphany, then and there. Just because romantic love didn't exist between them didn't mean it couldn't. The foundations were laid down by now. They'd just been too caught up in their respective quests to do anything more.
Decision made, he decided to seek out Ranni…
He could have gone to find Delphi's doll, but he felt he needed to speak to her in person. After what happened yesterday, Ranni was convalescing in what had once been her bedroom. He knocked gently on the bedroom door.
"Enter," came Ranni's rasp of a voice.
Harry entered, to find her sitting up in bed. Instead of her usual robes, which had been destroyed during her battle with the Two Fingers, she was dressed in a silk sleeping gown. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Actually, I did sleep, or rather, this body did," Ranni said. "Even now, this body hath been weakened, for now at least. I put aught I had into that battle. It very nearly was the end of me. Boc hath very kindly agreed to create a new set of my robes for me after the set I wore during that battle were ruined. I used to hath others, but…aside from the smaller set on my doll, Pidia stole the others. I had them burned after finding them."
"…Okay, got it," Harry said, shuddering at the thought of what Pidia might have done with those spare robes.
"So…thou hath come to mine boudoir?" Ranni asked with a sardonic lilt in her voice. "Something of an assumption, thou doth make." Her expression softened. "…I take it thou hath come to a decision?"
"Of sorts," Harry said, walking over to the bed and sitting next to it on a chair. "…Ranni, I won't lie to you. I…I don't feel any romantic love to you. I feel love for you as a friend, yes, and I have a lot of affection for you…but I'm not sure I'm ready to accept your proposal."
After a moment, Ranni nodded solemnly. "Mayhap 'twas too much to ask of thee. Forgive me my impulse."
"No, there's not anything to forgive, Ranni. I wanted to propose an alternative. Most of the time we have spent together, it's been while dealing with all sorts of stuff with our quests. My being made to strive towards becoming the next Elden Lord, and your trying to free yourself from the Two Fingers. We haven't really…well, gone on dates and the like, truly spent time with each other, not that much. I want to fix that."
Ranni, after a moment, had a warm smile touch her lips. "Ah, I see. Thou wouldst wish for a courtship? Prudent, and yet…I hath never truly been courted seriously. Only by sycophants and libidinous fools." Harry was under the impression that she was also blushing, even if her ceramic face couldn't change colour. "Yes…forgive me, but I hath been too forward with thee. I blame myself. I hath closed off my heart for so long, opening it up hath subjected me to fluxes of feeling I hath not felt for centuries."
"It's fine, Ranni. I'm doing this not just for our sake," he said. "Delphi would love to have you as her mother."
"And I would love to be her mother, in fact rather than in deed," Ranni said. "Very well…then we shalt start our courtship this very day." She reached out a hand. "Well then…shall we?"
Harry took it, enjoying the soothing feeling of her cold aura. "Yeah…we shall…"
CHAPTER 34 ANNOTATIONS:
Finally, we're getting to the meat of the pairing.
The Hedgehog's Dilemma is a central theme of the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime, and indeed, one of the episodes is named for it. In many of my stories, it's something Harry has to move past. And yes, it's a real-life concept in philosophy and psychology, by Arthur Schopenhauer.
No numbered annotations this time.
