Mario and Rosalina were getting married after she broke the good news of her pregnancy. Both were overjoyed since that meant they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Invitations were quickly sent to all of their friends and loved ones. Not only were Ros's Lumas in attendance, but also Mario's slightly younger bro, Luigi came. Plus, mom, dad, and grandpa were all happy for Mario and delighted to meet Rosalina, who was also happy to see them. Tony came too. Arthur, along with his wife Marie and their daughter who was also a niece to the Mario Bros., Gia.

Also coming to the wedding: Daisy, Pauline, Yoshi, Birdo, Wario, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth. All of them were happy for Mario and Rosalina. Everyone was... Well, almost everyone.

Someone was pissed, someone who hated the very thought of Mario being happy so badly that they would go out of their way, literally take time out of their day and cancel all previous obligations to keep him miserable after the Honeylune Ridge disaster.

You'd be shocked at the answer. Guess.

Bowser? No, he's too miserable after getting the cold shoulder.

Wario or Waluigi? Try again, they preferred different people.

Bowser Jr.? Koopalings? Kamek? Nah, Bowser glumly told them, "Don't even bother."

Broodals? Not even close, maybe if they were paid for it.

The correct answer was... Princess Peach.

On the way home from the Moon Kingdom, she showed no restraint or self-control while yelling at Mario over how he was quarrelling with Bowser, even when he apologized for what happened. The vitriolic insults she hurled at him caused him intense pain, pain that she outright stated that she was not sorry and would never be sorry for. Her rotten words mostly involved revenge fantasies with Mario and Bowser being brutally raped/tortured in public and laughed at or erased from existence. Worse, she even wished all boys would just die.

She could have dealt with it in a less vicious way but didn't. The blind rage resulted in Mario making the decision to cut ties with her forever. He was even angrier as he left the Mushroom Kingdom and never came back, attacking her with self-defense weapons and hurting her with meaner things like telling her to be hated, fired, exiled, or even arrested and turned into public enemy number 1.

His heart became two frozen, black, teardrop-shaped slabs of hate. When Rosalina paid him a surprise visit, his broken heart slowly healed. The healing came full circle when Rosalina agreed to marry Mario after her pregnancy was confirmed.

When Peach found out about Mario and Rosalina getting married, she had basically lost her mind. Maybe jealously would be involved, but Peach didn't want Mario back. In her mind, she believed he didn't deserve happiness, she wanted him to be sad and lonely forever following the arguments had after the moon rescue mission, viewing his attempts to be free of eternal suffering as a betrayal against her and women in general. Only bitterness and hate played part in her attempt to stop the wedding, stomping her way to the church.

Again, her attitude is not because she wasn't on the altar, it was because Mario was, and her determination to render his heartbreak unfixable was certainly alarming to a lot of her friends.

The wedding took place on earth instead of Honeylune Ridge. This was because Mario didn't want to leave the planet ever again after Peach almost left him to die and acted like letting him come home with her was a huge mistake. To be exact, the location was in Bubblaine. As far as refreshments went, the Frost-Frosted Cake and Stupendous Stew were served along with Italian sparkling waters and cannolis.

Mario wore the same ensemble as last time, white tuxedo with matching pants, white top hat, white shoes, red bowtie, and the red M on his hat. Luigi wore bascially the same thing, but with a green L where the red M was supposed to be and a green bowtie. All the male family members wore tuxedos and top hats that looked like Mario's, though without the first letters of their first names. Dad's bowtie was brown, Tony's was blue, Arthur's was yellow, and grandpa's was plaid. All the female family members had Lochlady dresses and veils, courtesy of the Lochladies that tailored to fit all of them.

It took a month, but the big day was finally underway. Mario saw Rosalina approaching him on the altar, both beamed with happiness as the blonde woman had a lovely bouquet in her hands, like they had turned their lives around and changed them for the better. All their friends and family watched eagerly. Dad said to mom what Arthur said to Marie, "Remember when we got married? We wore similar clothes during our wedding."

Mom and Marie recalled, "Yes, we still got them."

The priest began as soon as Ros was with her husband-to-be, "Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to witness the matrimony of Mario and Rosalina, two lost souls looking for love and having found it. Now we will let them exchange vows."

Mario began, "Rosalina, my biggest mission in life was to find true love. Now, my intention is to never lose it. That is why my vow is never cause you any trouble of any kind. To never dishonor you or let anyone else do such a thing. The last thing I want to be flipped out at, like a certain fake-blonde thug."

Everyone said, "Aww..."

Rosalina's turn. She said, "Mario, I needed this as much as you did. I love my Lumas and all, but I also felt that only a human could fill the hole my family opened when they... ceased to exist too soon. My vow is to never lose my temper and drive you away. I don't want to wound you the way Peach did, and since there is no love triangle with me, I'm confident that the risk of that happening is zero."

Again, everybody cooed, "Aww..."

*POUND* *POUND* *KICK*

"YOU!"

Uh-oh.

Everyone turned their heads as the doors swung open; the princess in pink was the one who kicked the door open, her blue eyes had red flames as she marched to couple. The pastor pointed out, "Uh, you're a bit early. I didn't get to the part whoever objected could speak now or forever hold their pea-"

Peach shrieked, "Shut up!"

Mario facepalmed, "Not you again, Toadstool."

Pointing at him, she roared, "Cancel the wedding! NOW!"

Standing firm, Mario said, "No."

"I order you not to marry Rosalina!"

"Well, you can't tell me what to do. I am entitled to happiness."

"You'll only have what I want you to have! What I want you to have is-"

Luigi stood up for Mario, "Leave my brother alone!"

"QUIET! YOU LITTLE TWERP!"

When Luigi shrunk back in fear, Mario scolded his ex, "Hey! Don't you dare talk to my brother like that!"

Toadstool scoffed, "Oh yeah?! What are you gonna do about it?!"

Pulling a walkie-talkie out of his hat, Mario warned that it was in case of emergency, but Peach tried to grab it, making them play tug-of-war. Mario said, "Let go, Toadstool! What is your problem?!"

Peach said, "You are! Boys are all manchildren that betray any woman willing to berate them to acting like toddlers!"

Rosalina helped Mario pry the transceiver away from Peach, pleading, "Please, Peach! All Mario wants is happiness. It's what he deserves."

"Being miserable is what he needs! His wounds must never heal! Mario won't learn anything if they do!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is! He's incapable of being a better person!"

Mario counterargued, "If that were the case, I never would have moved on from you."

"You like to taunt me any chance you get!"

Luigi helped Mario and Rosalina, adding, "By that logic, he would have gloated about this wedding and rubbed it in your face. He did nothing like that, I kept an eye on him."

"Luigi, wouldn't life be better if Mario was never born, and your parents had only you?! Remember the first time we met? Don't you want Bowser to kill Mario instead of you while I persuade you to just let your brother die?"

The other attendees watched with fear, even Wario and Waluigi thought Peach's meanness was overboard. Both Mario brothers were outraged, Luigi growling, "How dare you!"

Even with three against one, Peach didn't let go of Mario's handheld radio. Mom and Dad, equally incensed over Peach's anti-Mario comments, tried to pulled Peach away by grabbing her waist, but she kicked and flailed to make them let go. Good thing neither parent lost their grip, mom tried to reason with Peach, "My boys aren't perfect, but if you forgive those mistakes-"

"You failed as a mom! Mario is a failed abortion!"

Mom gasped in shock, and her husband was mad, "Stop insulting my son! I know he made a mistake with you, all he wanted was to fix it-"

"I wish you still thought of him as a joke! You should have said that Mario will never not be a BURDEN!"

"*gasp* How dare you! We tried to be nice, he tried to make up for what happened, but if your hardened heart can't be softened, then it's safe to say that he was right to not even try with you anymore."

Seeing how her fighting was getting nowhere, Peach screamed out loud, "Why is this world too stupid to understand that marriage is nothing more than women surrendering their freedom and their rights?! Rosalina! You're not supposed to let boys hold you back, and your choice is MARIO?! How in the hell can you not hate him?! How can anyone not want Mario dead?! He and Bowser are basically the same, they're intellectually on par with a spoiled two-year-old boy! With autism! They think that life is just cartoons and video games, and they try to ruin the lives of anyone willing to say otherwise and call them out!"

Rosalina whimpered, "Peach, please..."

"My god, it's like I'm talking to a monkey! A very, very, VERY stupid monkey named Rosalina, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised because enabling mothers give women a bad name!"

"I'm not..."

"Yes, you are! You're as retarded as Mario!"

Everyone gasped, Rosalina's eyes watered, and she backed away to cry. The pastor had had enough and shouted, "Young lady, this is a house of worship!"

"WORSHIP THIS, SEXIST PIG!"

Peach flipped off the pastor and made him cringe, saying, "ALL BOYS ARE MYSOGINSTS THAT LOVE BEING IRREDEEMABLE! THERE ARE NO MEN IN THIS UNIVERSE! ONLY BOYS!"

Mario aggressively yanked the walkie-talkie away when one of Peach's hands let go, his parents kept his former love interest restrained, "Hmph, you shouldn't have been so nasty to my family. Now you're gonna regret it."

In the radio, Mario declared, "Officers, it's go time! Put this toxic bully in cuffs!"

Police officers all dressed in riot gear and sporting shields converged on the scene, opening various doors and windows to gain entry. As the officers attempted to grab Peach and have her arrested for disturbing the peace, she made a break for the exit.

What she thought was an open doorway, was really a glass window, and Peach crashed through the window, breaking the glass which cut through her body, slicing his veins, severing her arteries, and piercing her heart.

This caused near instantaneous exsanguination and death. Rosalina looked a bleeding Peach and asked, "Oh god, Peach. What did you do?"

A blood puddle grew and grew as Toadstool bled out from all the blood draining from her now lifeless body. Mario lamented, "None of this would have happened if you weren't such a bitch me back then. Better call an ambulance."

Mario chose stabilty and peace with Rosalina over his hotheaded ex, who didn't take it well and wanted to make sure he would never win ever again. He and Rosalina said, "I do."

Peach said, "I'm done."

Eventually, an ambulance came, and the pastor said to Peach's corpse as it was hauled away, "May almighty God have mercy on your soul."

Mario may now kiss the bride and kiss her crazy ex goodbye.