The Elder Scrolls Adventures with the Dovahkid

An Elder Scrolls/Dungeons & Dragons Self-Insert

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Chapter 1: Brand New Day

Once every year, there was a town fair where I lived. Once every year, rides and attractions would be set up at the greyhound racetrack just down the road from where I lived. Normally, I didn't go to the yearly fair, too many people for one thing, but this year was different. This year my family had decided to pay me a visit and to get me out of the house, everyone decided to go to the fair and enjoy the festivities.

If I had the choice, I wouldn't have gone at all and would've gladly stayed home where I wouldn't have to deal with people in close proximity to my person. But as it stood, here I was meandering through the crowds of local yokels, all the bright lights and loud noises as everyone enjoyed the yearly festival.

To be honest, I hate the idea of crowds and people. I also hate the idea of my family disturbing my peace and quiet when I really want to be left alone to my own devices in peace and quiet. But it seemed that this year, God or whatever fucked-up deity decided to ruin my year by having my family come visit me.

If there was one thing that I prided myself on, it was my ability to get away and I made use of that to lose my family in the crowd. I was a grown man, I could take care of myself, despite what my daddy dearest thinks.

I looked over the selection of rides that people were making use of, and all the lines were packed with parents and their screaming children. Another thing I hate is children; most were out of control screaming, squealing brats that shouldn't be taken out to public places. And the thought of having to share a ride with a noisy fractious child did not appeal to me in the slightest.

I walked through the fair, trying to find a ride that I could enjoy in relative peace and not have to share a car with annoying toddlers. But it seemed that most of the rides were full up.

Until I came across one attraction that caught my eye. It was an old looking ride that looked like it was made of pure tetanus. But on the plus side, there was no line. Perfect for me.

The ride looked some kinda cheap B-Movie fantasy ride and had the appropriate name of Dungeons & Dragons. Didn't matter all that much to me as I quickly made my way through the passage and asked the attendant for a ride. The attendant looked pretty surprised but said nothing of it as I climbed into a car, all by my lonesome, and with a creaking shuddering & rattling sound the car began to move down the tracks.

To say that the ride was dilapidated was being polite about it. The animatronics looked like they were about to fall apart and would be better off used as scrap metal. The wheels of the car were in need of a good oiling if they were creaked and squealed against the tracks. But that was all trivial as I didn't have to share a car with anyone.

And as the car reached halfway through the ride, a bright light started to shine right in my face. I had to hold my hand in front of my eyes to shield myself from the blinding illumination. Then the car started to rattle and jerk violently which made a small bit of panic hit me as I started to think that maybe the ride was about to fall apart on me. The blinding light shone even brighter if that were even possible and I felt the car rise in the air and I looked in front of me as a swirling vortex of white light was in front of me. Panic filling the pit of my stomach, I made to jump out of the car and make a dash for the exit when the car came apart at the seams and I was sucked into the maelstrom of light.

I opened my mouth to scream but I couldn't hear myself as I was being pulled in all directions until I felt myself being literally ripped apart. The pain was excruciating, I'd never felt anything like it before I finally blacked out.

All that was before me was darkness. I couldn't see anything but a black void, when something soft and wet draped itself across my forehead. Acting on instinct, I opened my eyes to find it blurry and unfocussed, not to mention blinding which forced me to shut my eyes again.

"Hey, you're awake?" an unfamiliar voice asked me and I forced my eyes to open again as a man's face swam into view. He looked a few years older than me with straw coloured hair and beard. "You've been out for a while now," he informed me with a friendly grin on his lips.

"How… how long?" I asked my voice raspy and rusty and I gave out a cough after I spoke.

"About a day now," replied my host. "Can you sit up?" he then asked.

My arms feeling like wet noodles, I made the attempt to sit up but I fell back down with a small thump on what I could only guess was a bed of some kind.

A laugh came from my host as he remarked on my weakened state, "A little weak, are we?" I grunted out an attempt to snap out a retort, but I was too weak to. "Here, try a little of this." A spoonful of liquid was put to my lips and I sipped at it. The liquid was spicy and tangy on the tongue, and it burned as it made its way down my throat. A warmth filled my belly and my limbs started to feel less heavy and lethargic. I then made a second attempt to sit up on the bed and found that I had been given back some strength. My vision began to clear as I looked around.

Sitting on a stool beside me was my host. He was dressed like a medieval peasant farmer in rustic shades of brown, green and orange.

"Where am I?" I asked my host.

"You're in the village of Nuffinmuch, lad," the farmer replied. "Name's Dennis. What's your name, lad?"

"I'm…" I faltered as I suddenly couldn't think of my name. I tried to remember my first and last name. A dull ache filled my head as I tried to remember and say my name.

"Ni… Mar…" was I could remember of my name. "Ni… Mar," I tried to say my name, but that was all I could get out.

"Nimar, huh? Where are you from?" Dennis asked.

"Where am I? What country?" I said in response.

"Ah, well, you're in the village of Nuffinmuch near the border of the Kingdom of Bryce," I was told by Dennis.

I stared at my host in disbelief before shaking my head a little. "A dream. That's all this is. A dream," I muttered to myself. The skin of my arm was then pinched by Dennis. "Ow! What was that for?" I asked him as I rubbed the sore spot where the skin had gripped by Dennis's fingers.

"To prove you're not dreaming, lad," Dennis said as though it were simple. "Can you stand up? You've been out for a day now, your muscles could do with some exercise," he added.

I sighed reluctantly as I made to get out of the bed. I then realised I was clad in only what looked like linen or cotton shorts and I looked at Dennis and asked, "Where are my clothes?"

"Ah, well, your clothes didn't fit you anymore, so I had to take them off you," Dennis said to me. "I've got some spare clothes that should fit you," he offered to me.

"Don't fit me anymore? Why wouldn't my clothes fit me anymore?" I wondered aloud.

"See for yourself," Dennis replied indicating a looking glass hanging on the wall. Curious as to what my host meant, I got out of the bed and nearly fell over before catching myself. I then hobbled over to the looking glass and I was stunned to see the stranger staring back at me.

Gone was the head of thinning brown hair replaced with pale almost silvery blonde locks. My pudgy cheeks looked much thinner making my face look more angular. My jaw was a bit more firm looking and my nose was a tad longer and more narrow. And my eyes had changed from a pale blue-grey to a deeper almost purple-blue colour. I then took notice of my new body; the rounded shoulders were broader and straighter. My chest looked deeper almost barrel like. My pot belly was now flat as an ironing board. My arms looked more toned and corded and my legs looked longer with the thighs looking sleek with muscle.

I stared at the stranger that gawked at me from the mirror's surface. "Something wrong, Nimar?" Dennis asked, looking at me in concern.

I looked at the men and I felt lightheaded. I stumbled back onto the bed and sat on the edge of it, looking at my hands which looked different too. "Are you alright?" Dennis asked sitting next to me. "Is something wrong?" he quizzed.

"I… I don't know how this happened," I mumbled in reply.

"What was the last thing you remember? What were you doing?"

"I was… at a country fair," I said slowly. "Yes. That was it. I'd gotten on this old ride, then there was a flash of light. Next thing, I wake up here," I recalled.

"Hmmm…" Dennis hummed in thought. "Well, you seem to be alright now. Maybe you want to get dressed into something more suitable?" he suggested helpfully.

I nodded slowly as Dennis walked over to a nearby chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of trousers, a shirt and vest and a pair of leather boots. "Try these for size," he said to me, handing the outfit to me.

I put the outfit on and looked at my… reflection in the mirror. I had to admit to myself privately that my new body and face certainly suited the clothes better than my original body did. I half wondered what the popular girls of my highschool years would say if they saw me like this?

It didn't matter I suppose. That was then, this was now. While I wouldn't complain about new looks, I then had to wonder what was going on. As far as I knew, I was in a village called Nuffinmuch on the border of the Kingdom of Bryce. What my purpose here was remained a mystery to me.

"You hungry?" Dennis suddenly asked me and I nodded quietly. "Well, c'mon. Time to eat something. My wife should be preparing lunch about now," he said with a smile as he then led me out of the room and down a hallway into a small kitchen and dining room where a relatively young woman wearing a simple woollen dress and apron stood at a stove, stirring a pot of what I thought to be stew or soup.

"Helen, luv, what's cooking? It smells good!" Dennis said to presumably his wife who turned to look at with kind brown eyes and a smile on her lips.

"Rabbit stew. And I see our guest is awake," she noted as she looked at me appraisingly.

"Umm, hello," I offered nervously.

"No need to be nervous, young sir. You're a guest," Helen told me kindly. "Might I know your name?" she requested.

"Nimar," I replied using the only name that had come out from me which Dennis had used. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for giving me shelter," I then said formally.

"No need to be so formal, Mr Nimar," Helen said with a warm smile. "Please, join us for a lunch," she offered as she served up some bowls of rich brown stew which smelled good as the scent of meat and gravy hit my nose making my stomach ache in hunger.

I sat down at the dining table on a wooden chair which creaked ominously as I gingerly sat on it. I waited for Dennis and his wife to seat themselves. I then noticed that they made to say grace.

"To the Gods of this land, we give thanks for the bounty you have seen fit to bless us with," Dennis said with his head bowed and his hand clasped in front of him. "We pray that the harvest this year will be plentiful and the rains to be generous. We pray that winter will not be too harsh and that we live in the warmth and comfort of our home. We pray that spring will come soon so that we can sew new crops and we pray that summer will bless us with its warmth. Amen."

Taking a spoon into my hand, I then began to eat my bowl of rabbit stew with my hosts. "So, where is it you come from, Mr Nimar?" Helen asked me conversationally as she supped her meal.

"Somewhere very far from here, I think," I said to her as I ate. "I don't remember too much about it," I half-lied. I felt a tiny bit bad as I told that to Helen and her husband, but they might've burned me at the stake for being a witch if I said I came from another world. "May I ask a question?"

"Of course. Ask away."

"Who might I speak to about learning more about this land?" I asked.

"Hmm, you'd need to speak with Old Cassidy," Dennis informed me. "He's a bit of a hermit, but he's a wiseman. Used to be a scholar, so he might help you learn more about the land," he said.

"Thank you. Where does he live?" I then asked.

"Lives just near the edge of the forest. He wanted to be closer to nature and to have relative peace and quiet," Helen told me. "But that can wait for the moment," she then said primly.

I then finished my meal and I automatically took Dennis and Helen's empty plates, taking them over to a sink to wash. "Oh, you needn't do that," Helen said to me kindly. "I can wash them for us all," she added.

"You cook. I clean. House rules," I replied.

Helen and Dennis both looked at each other in surprise. "Well, if you're certain about it," the former said to me. "I'll be able to work on other things around the house," she added absently.

"And I still have work to do outside," Dennis said to himself as he put a straw hat on his head and nodded at me. "You can join me when you're done in here," he told me as I began to wash the bowls and the pot. I nodded at my host in acceptance as I washed and scrubbed the dishes.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: There! First chapter of this is done. Felt creative, might delete later. I don't know. Leave a review if you liked it. This story was inspired by Harry Partridge's animated Elder Scrolls short The Elder Scrolls Adventures with the Dovahkids and Draggy the Dragon too.

This was also inspired by Richard Corben's Den of Neverwhere comics series that was also made into a short segment of the animated feature film Heavy Metal.