"How will I be awake and aware
if the light of the Beloved is absent?"
— Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī (Rumi)

Warning: Angst

It felt unbelievably good to slam the door in Klaus' face. Caroline closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the door as she counted each breath. He was here. Why? They'd said it all last time they were together. Well, she mostly screeched it all at him and Kol while they blamed each other and managed to somehow make her feel even worse. Nope. She did not want to deal with this. She already dealt with this. Just the memory of what happened the last time they spoke was enough to make her stomach lurch and she embraced that rage and threw open the door once again.

"Did you need someone to black that other eye?" Her eyes did not register the way that black eye inexplicably highlighted his sculpted cheekbones.

Klaus' dimpled smile looked forced as he replied, "Yes, your friend was quite vigorous in her protests. It's admirable how you inspire such loyalty."

The thought of Katherine made Caroline want to smile, but then she felt herself starting to get drawn back in to the easy banter she and Klaus always seemed to have. Not this time. "So, are you here to serve me papers? Is the studio suing me for breach of contract," she asked bluntly, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she refused to stand aside and invite him in.

"Of course not," he replied, mildly affronted, "My other brother, Elijah, is the lawyer of the family. Quite the dullard, that one."

With an irritated grunt, Caroline made an impatient circular motion with her hand and demanded, "Then why are you here?"

"To beg your forgiveness and get you back."

Klaus sounded so earnest and hopeful in that moment that it only infuriated her more. And why did he have to smell so good? She scoffed, "You never had me. Let's face it — we were both too stubborn and cowardly to start something and when I finally went for it, it turned out you're exactly who I thought you were — a selfish asshat who manipulates people to get what you want." She'd been so certain of him. So sure the face he'd showed her was real. Even after her failed engagement she couldn't spot a lying bastard.

Klaus' unexpected laughter was sharp and accusing. He dug his phone out of his back pocket, tapping on the screen before shoving it in her face. "Well, that makes two of us, sweetheart. Tell me, was your ex-fiancé waiting at the airport with open arms to protect you from all the big, bad Hollywood people?"

The photos on his phone made her lips wrinkle in disgust. Someone had captured her and Matt outside Bonnie's shop and the angle of the photo clearly had been manipulated to appear as though she was leaning into his touch while he caressed her cheek. Letting out an unearthly shriek, she snatched away Klaus' phone, frantically scrolling down the tabloid's site to read:

Good Girl No More — Caroline's Secret Exposed

Sources in the quaint Virginia town of Mystic Falls were shocked to see the Caroline Forbes, the girl-next-door fan favorite of Heart and Kol already kicked off the show and back in ex-fiancé Matt Donovan's arms! The former "good girl" must've taken Kol Mikaelson's rejection hard because Matt is a married man!

And the spurned wife in question? None other than Caroline's childhood best friend, a stunningly beautiful woman who's no stranger to heartbreak. Elena Gilbert-Donovan bravely held back tears as she revealed that despite her storybook romance with Matt, it seemed that Caroline shameless pursued him even when they were all in high school! "It was a terrible to learn that my best friend betrayed me, but I forgave her back then and thought we'd moved past it. But now she's after Matty all over again!"

The kind-hearted brunette, a dedicated volunteer at the town's heritage events, shared these heartbreaking revelations and more in an exclusive interview...

Caroline had to force herself to stop reading, tossing Klaus' phone back at him with a cry of disgust. "That bitch went and peddled her lies to the first people who'd pay her," she swore. Anger coiled in her belly like a spring as she played back the last few moments in her head and realized Klaus was accusing her of cheating like he was a jealous boyfriend. How dare he.

She turned on Klaus with a ferocious snarl. "Seriously?! You believed this shit? You live in Hollywood — how could you possibly fall for lazy journalism that's this idiotic? For fuck's sake, my engagement to Matt was in the local paper — it's ridiculously easy to prove we were engaged when he cheated on me with Elena. And don't even get me started on all the other lies she's peddling in there!"

Klaus shuffled his feet uncomfortably, face blooming with color as he mumbled, "Right, well, that is to say...uh...emotions are running high with us that day and after what Kol and I did, I wouldn't have blamed you if you were to seek...comfort, uh...perhaps not with this Matt bloke but...elsewhere?"

Unbelievable. "Are you — did you — I know you did not just ask me about my personal life as though you have any right," Caroline sputtered indignantly.

Gray eyes widened almost comically and his tone became desperate as he shook his curly head emphatically. "No! That's not what I meant; I apologize for jumping to conclusions; it's just the idea of you with someone else...I just needed to know..."

"Whether I was still pathetically into you, right? Because you need it to feed your ego. God, you should've been an actor like Kol." Fists clenched, Caroline pointed at the street behind him, suddenly exhausted from this pointless conversation. "Just go back to Hollywood and your idiot brother and the rest of those awful people you've let into your life. Your version of reality is something I'll never understand. And I'm glad I never will."

Unfortunately, the stubborn set of his jaw told her he wasn't ready to let this go just yet. "I've no intention of returning to Hollywood," he proudly announced as though claiming a victory lap before even starting the race. "I quit. I quit that dodgy show; I quit being Kol's manager; I've quit it all." He looked at her shyly from underneath his lashes, clearly trying to gauge her reaction.

It was one of her favorite looks on him — to see this charismatic force of nature be so vulnerable and uncertain. Bastard. But the fact that he quit everything is his life had rattled her. Klaus once told her that moving to Hollywood with his siblings had been the best decision he'd ever made. That it had been the only place that had felt like home. Did he quit for her? For them? No. She was far too raw and furious to think about it in that moment.

Her laughter was brittle and she was close to tears again, but she didn't care. She focused on the anger and let it see her through this awful mess. She flatly said, "So, this is the part in the Hallmark movie where I'm supposed to be overwhelmed by your sacrifice because it shows personal growth and how you really do care about me."

He seemed taken aback by her words, raising a hand as though to touch her, but she took a step back across the threshold. Why did it hurt to avoid his almost-touch? Rubbing her forehead in exasperation, she asked, "Why is it that women are expected to just get over their anger the second the guy that fucked them over shows the barest hint of remorse? Rom-coms always act like the woman has no choices, that there's no one else right for them except the guy who fucked them over, but that's bullshit. I bet there's plenty of guys out there eager to fuck me over."

"All I can say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you; I'm sorry I was a coward, and I'm sorry I put you in an impossible situation." His gaze implored her, obviously searching her face for some hint of softening. "If you'll let me, I swear I'll earn back your trust, sweetheart."

Before Caroline could answer, Bonnie and Enzo pulled into their driveway, slamming the truck doors and stomping to their front door with scowls on their faces. "Not happening, jackass," Bonnie told Klaus, shaking her head emphatically as she put a protective arm around Caroline. "Leave now."

Enzo threatened, "Don't make me go get the cheap-shit Earl Grey jar."

Caroline felt a wave of affection for her overprotective friends, and despite the extreme emotions she was feeling, she took pity on Klaus' confusion at Enzo's threat and told him softly, "You should go." She followed Enzo and Bonnie inside their house, shutting the door behind her. It felt like the end of a chapter — so why she didn't feel more relieved?

Needless to say, dinner with her mom had been cancelled. Caroline had had more than enough awkward for the day. She did her best to ignore the obvious relief she read into her mother's texted reply. Apparently, all of her relationships were complicated. Well, not all of them, she reminded herself fondly, watching Enzo and Bonnie toasting each other as they watched Andie's bizarre monologue about how being a news anchor gave her the "courage" to go on the dating show.

At Caroline's insistence, they were watching the latest episode of Heart and Kol and playing the silly drinking game her friends made up. It still hurt to watch the show, but it somehow felt easier with her friends to watch it like a regular viewer, relishing the ridiculous antics of the contestants and the obviously staged drama. It probably helped that the cameras never showed Klaus.

Caroline eyed the towering stack of boxes Kol's "Kupids" (a small group of overworked PAs wearing floppy gold and white wings) carried out onto the south lawn where Caroline and the rest of the contestants had been told to gather. The show was on an approximate two-week delay, and she groaned out loud when she realized what was about to happen. "We're getting ready to open our 'gifts' which are these obnoxious, glitter-speckled mermaid tails."

The pair looked at her in shock, lips twitching as they failed to bite back their braying donkey laughter at her palpable horror. Taking a long gulp of wine, she explained, "So, our challenge is going to be mermaid karaoke and the top three singers and...ick...tail-flashers will win a date with Kol."

They all laughed until they cried, Caroline gleefully revealing that this was the ill-fated episode in which the producers decided to position on top of the infinity pool the enormous Botticelli-inspired clamshell that Kol stood on during the rose ceremony. She still didn't know all the details, but it turned out that hastily built support structures were no match for a reality show catfight. The clamshell managed to dump, Kol, Aurora, and two other contestants into the pool right in the middle of lighting the 'flame of eternal truth candle'. This show really was equal parts hilarious and horrifying.

The doorbell rang just as Caroline was telling them that this also was the episode where Davina tried to convince Kol that his ashes should be consecrated with hers on the ancestral plane so that they can be together in this life and the next. She should've commended Klaus and Kol for their top-notch candidate screening process.

Carefully balancing her wineglass, Caroline went to answer the door, surprised the pizza was so early.

Kol Mikaelson stood on Bonnie's doorstep wearing a cheeky grin and a black eye that seemed even bigger than Klaus'. Yup. Katherine still had one hell of a right cross.