It was January when we moved into the house across the ginnel. The girls and Raffy were all happy and excited by new bedrooms. Isla and Rosie shared one room while Ella, Tala and Amelie shared the other room. Raffy was pleased to have his own room away from the girls and was excited at the prospect of sharing with Simon when he came over. Things were going well for Mum at the factory and Peter at Streetcars while Michelle had got a job at the bistro as the manager. She was well overqualified given that she used to own the place, but she loved it, and she could work it around Rosie and Raffy as well. The house was busy, very busy but it was lovely to come home and someone to always be there. The kids all love being together, most of the time.
"Good morning girlies, it's time to get up." I said as I walked into Ella, Tally and Amie's room and opened the blinds.
"Mumma." Amie said as she stretched in her cot, with her favourite cuddly dog toy in her hand.
"Hello my girl, Hey Tal." I said, lifting Amie out of her cot and then sitting down at the end of Tally's bed. She climbed out from under her duvet and crawled up the bed until her head rested on my lap. "Hey Ella Bella, sleepyhead, it's time to get up." I said, stroking Tally's hair. Ella groaned as she moved slightly in her bed.
"Orlie my head hurts." She said quietly before groaning again. Tally sat up and I put Amelie down on the bed beside her before moving to the floor beside Ella's bed. I stroked the hair out of her face. She was hot, but her face white.
"Are you hot Ella Belle?" I asked her. She shook her head. "And is it just your head that hurts?"
"No Orlie my arms hurt too." She said. I pulled the duvet off her top half and looked at her arms.
"Hi Orlie." Isla said from the doorway of the bedroom.
"Islie will you go and get Mummy for me please? Tally, go downstairs with Isla and get some breakfast." I said and Isla ran off down the stairs, with Tally following closely behind.
"I'm cold Orla." Ella said and I pulled duvet back over her as Mum walked into her bedroom.
"You alright?" she asked, sitting at the end of the bed. "Hey Ella Belle, what's up?"
"Everything hurts Mummy." Ella said. Mum pulled her out from under the duvet and onto her lap, pulling a blanket around her.
"I don't think she's very well Mum." I said, "Look at her arms." I pulled up the sleeves of her pyjamas to reveal bruises in the crooks of her elbows and around her wrists.
"Did someone hurt your arms Ella?" Mum asked her. "Did you fall over?"
"I don't know Mummy, it just hurts." Ella told her.
"I'll make her an appointment over at the surgery. Will you just do me a favour and get the other two sorted. Peter's doing breakfast already downstairs." Mum said, holding onto my hand.
"Yeah, yeah of course." I said. I lifted Amelie onto my hip and then found clothes for her and Tally from the drawers while Mum got Ella back into bed and lay beside her.
Peter stayed at home with Mum and Ella while Michelle went to the bistro and I took Rosie, Raffy, Tally and Isla to school after dropping Amelie off at Julie's house. I went into the office and told them Ella wasn't very well and she wouldn't be in today before going into town for some meetings.
"Hey Chelle, where's Mum?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen that evening with Amie on my hip, having just collected her from Julie's. The kids were sat around the table eating their tea.
"She's upstairs with Ella. I think you ned to go up and talk to her." She said as I put Amelie in her highchair.
"Ok, would you mind chucking something on her tray?" I asked her, putting my bag on the sofa. She nodded and I slipped my shoes off and climbed up the stairs. "Mum, where are you?" I said as I went.
"Here Orla." Mum replied as I reached the first-floor landing to find her sat on the stairs up to the second floor.
"Hey, how's Ella?" I asked, standing in front of her. Mum reached out and held onto my hand.
"She's got to go up to Manchester Children's Hospital tomorrow for a blood test. They don't know what's wrong with her. She won't eat anything and anything she drinks she's just thrown back up." Mum said quietly.
"How is she in herself?" I whispered.
"Alright, cuddly, more so than usual. She just seems so weak, so not like herself. She hasn't slept though, her head was hurting too much, I've finally got her off. I've put Amie's cot in Isla and Posie's room and Tally's gonna go in our bed with Peter so Ella can sleep, and I can stay in there with her." Mum told me.
"Yeah, yeah of course. Did the GP say what they thought it was?" I asked.
"Could be a bad flu or virus, could be some sort of deficiency, or a blood problem. It might be a problem she lives with for the rest of her life Orla." She whispered. I knelt down in front of her and held onto both of her hands.
"Hey, it won't come to that Mum." I replied.
"We don't know that Orlie, we don't know." She said as she began to sob. I sat with her like that until the kids were finished eating. We went downstairs and helped Michelle clear up the kitchen and then I took Tally and Amelie up for a bath, making sure they were quiet enough not to wake Ella up. Michelle came up with Raffy while Mum stayed downstairs and listened to Isla and Rosie read. Raffy got in the bath, and I got the two girls ready for bed before reading them a story in my bed. By the time we'd finished two stories, Amie was fast asleep, so I took her upstairs and put her in her cot in the big girl's bedroom. When I came back down, Isla and Rosie were putting on their pyjamas, so I read Tally one last story and then got her into bed in Mum's room. While Michelle and Mum got the other three into bed, I went into my bedroom and did some work on my laptop. Josh called, he was also doing work, uni work over at his flat which I could see out of my window. We didn't tend to work together as we got distracted talking to each other about everything that wasn't work.
It was almost midnight when I went downstairs to get a glass of water. Michelle was in bed already after doing the lunch and afternoon shift at the bistro. Amie's baby monitor had barely made a sound, so I assumed everyone was fast asleep. I was shocked, when I went downstairs to find Mum sat at the counter in the kitchen on her laptop. The bright light of the extractor fan shone on her face as its buzzing noise echoed quietly through the kitchen.
"Hey, I thought you were going to bed with Ella." I said quietly as I put my hand on her shoulder. "Mum, there's no point researching all of this if we don't know what's wrong with her."
"I just want to know the facts Orla. I think she has this ITP thing." She said pointing to the screen. I read the brief description on the page in front of us both.
"And you're a doctor now, are you?" I asked. She giggled before turning to me and stroking my cheek.
"I love you, shouldn't you be going to bed too?" she asked. I shut her laptop behind her.
"I will, if you will." I said. Mum got up from the stool and I we both went upstairs to bed.
"Hiya Mum." I answered the phone from the office in the bakery.
"Orla, I need you to come home." Mum said quickly. "Now Orla, please."
"Mum, I've got a meeting in town. I need to leave in a minute. And then I've got to get Amie" I told her.
"Orla, please. I need this. I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate." She said.
"Ok, ok. I'll cancel my meeting and get Josh to get Amelie." I told her before Mum put the phone down. I grabbed my handbag, my coat and my laptop before leaving the bakery. Faye could handle things for me. I called the client on my way home and gave my apologies, luckily, he was very understanding and then sent Josh a text and asked him to pick Amelie up for me on his way home.
"Sit down Orla." Mum said as I walked into the kitchen at home.
"No, I'm alright, just tell me what the doctor said." I told her putting my handbag on the kitchen table. Mum and Peter both took a deep breath and looked at each other before looking back to me.
"Ella's got leukaemia." Mum said. A black cloud fell into the room. I felt this overwhelming force on my shoulders, and I had to hold onto the kitchen counter to stop myself from falling over. Tears formed in Mum's eyes and Peter pulled her into him as she sobbed. She reached out for my hand as well and I took a deep breath to stop myself from breaking, or being sick or crying, or falling over, I wasn't quite sure what I felt. Mum pulled me towards her as I held onto her hand and she and Peter, both hugged me.
"What happens now?" I asked, after a long period of silence and the three of us pulling away from each other. Peter put the kettle on, Mum sat at the kitchen table, and I sat on the counter.
"We're going to have to tell her, obviously sensitively and tell her what she needs to know in a way she's going to understand. But she does need to know. She's going to need chemo and treatment and she needs to understand why." Mum said.
"We could talk to her tomorrow, get the others out of the house." Peter said. Mum nodded.
"There is another thing the doctor suggested." Mum said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"A bone marrow transplant. Peter and I can't do it because we've both had organ transplants. She's most likely to match with her full siblings, so we'll have to get Isla and Tally tested to see if they're a match." Mum explained.
"Can we do that? When they're so young?" I asked.
"The doctor says we can. Obviously, I'd rather it were Isla that were match, she would understand why it was happening and that she's helping her sister. But if either of them were, they could potentially be saving their sister's life." Mum said.
"Hey, don't talk like that." Peter snapped across the kitchen.
"I'll get tested too. I know I'm her half-sister, but you never know." I said.
"Thank you, Orlie." Mum and Peter both said in unison.