It's My Life

The students disbanded quickly from the room and broke off to not look suspicious as to why they were all together. Draco led his friends the farthest distance to reach the great hall at 7:30 pm. Hermione, Ron, and the other Gryffindors arrived with some Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuff came on their own. Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Theodore, Vincent, and Gregory took their seats and sighed. They wanted to talk about it, but couldn't because Severus said so and above being Harry's guardian; he was head of Slytherin house. As luck wouldn't allow, Albus approached on his way to the head table.

"Where is Harry?" The man asked.

"Last we saw he was going to talk to Professor Snape, sir." Theodore lied. "Something about an assignment for potions."

"And he wasn't feeling well," Pansy added. "We noticed it around lunch and suggested to tell the professor."

"That's unfortunate." Albus said calmly. "Thank you, but when you see him…Could you pass the message that I'd like to talk to him after dinner in my office?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Draco replied. "But if he's unwell, perhaps it can be put off until a later time?"

"Yes, absolutely. I'd never want to trouble the boy," Albus stated. "Just have Professor Snape send me word if Harry is ill."

The group nodded and Albus walked away, so they sighed heavily and hoped Harry was alright. It had been a good lie to say Harry was talking to Severus, and might be sick because Harry had been unconscious when they left the room of requirement and Draco, at least, knew Harry didn't want to be anywhere near Dumbledore.

. . .

Severus had reached the dungeons and walked into his office, laying Harry down on the couch to check over him. Drawing his wand, he gave a light flick over Harry's forehead. "Enervate." Severus said.

Harry moaned a bit, turning his head and finally opening his eyes to see Severus next to him. "Professor…What happened?"

"Dementors attacked in the room of requirement, and you went unconscious after producing a spell I didn't expect." Severus told him. Harry glanced down, feeling like he might be in trouble. "I'm not upset, Harry. What you did was nothing short of incredible in there, but I must ask why you know the Patronus charm?" He asked. "That is a N.E.W.T level spell, far beyond you being a fifth year."

Harry fumbled but worked to sit upright. "Remus taught me in third year." Harry began as Severus sat next to him on the couch. "The dementors seemed to go for me a lot and Remus told me that it was because I had true horrors in my past that my classmates could only scarcely imagine. I asked him if there was anything he could teach me so I could defend myself and he told me we'd work on it after the holiday." He explained. "Dementors had affected me on the train ride into school, during quidditch matches…I couldn't just hope that someone was around to protect me." He added. "Remus had fended it off on the train, and in his class; we worked with Boggarts…Everyone thought my worst fear would be Voldemort, but it was a dementor. Remus jumped in front of me when the dementor appeared and it turned into a full moon that he easily used the spell on and sent back into the cabinet." Harry took a breath as Severus summoned a small chocolate bar from somewhere.

"Here, eat this…" Severus insisted. "It'll-,"

"Help me feel better, I know." Harry nodded. "It was the first thing Remus said to me on the train, not that I knew who he was at the time. Hermione had only pointed out that his suitcase said R. J. Lupin."

"Tell me about your encounters with dementors, Harry," Severus inquired.

"The first time was on the train to Hogwarts for my third year. Ron, Hermione and I were together in a compartment with Remus and didn't know who he was; he appeared to be sleeping. The train had stopped and we saw the creature come into our compartment. Ron and Hermione seemed fine, but it started sucking at me. I passed out. When I woke up, Remus gave me a piece of chocolate and told me to eat, I'd feel better. I asked what happened and Remus said it was a dementor, a guard from Azkaban searching the train for Sirius Black. This was before I knew he was my godfather and was innocent, before I knew the truth…" Harry said.

"Go on," Severus invited.

"That was it for the first time. The second was during the quidditch match where I fell off my broom chasing the snitch. I know I went out for that too and my friends told me Dumbledore had used some spell to make sure I didn't splat to the ground. I know what the spell is, but didn't at the time. I think that was it until the night Remus and Sirius fought in their animal forms. I chased Sirius down by the lake and a bunch of dementors showed up, going for Sirius and me…I was starting to go out when I saw this blue glowing stag appear across the way and then the dementors were blasted away with this barricade looking blue light. It would push them away and send them off. I passed out seeing the light fade and someone on the stag's back. I," Harry stopped and had a sad look in his eyes. "I had thought it was my dad who came to save Sirius and me…Hermione made me realize it couldn't have been later on. But, next time I woke up was in the hospital wing and being told Sirius was captured again and awaiting the kiss in Azkaban." Harry explained.

"Why do I get the distinct feeling, Harry, that you and your friends had something to do with his second escape?" Severus sighed some. "You'd learned the truth by then, and you didn't want to lose your godfather. You concocted some plan to save him…"

"Wasn't my plan." Harry stated. "It was Dumbledore's in his usual mystic and mysterious ways."

"Tell me…" Severus asked.

"Weusedatimeturnedtogobackandsavehim…" Harry said in one breath, mumbling.

"Potter…" Severus warned.

"Dumbledore went on about being careful not to be seen, and knowing the laws. He told Hermione three turns should do it, and we left Ron behind because of his leg being hurt. Hermione pulled something out and put the chain around both of us then twirled the thing backwards three times. I realized when she and I watched ourselves going to Hagrid's and socking Draco in the face that we'd gone back in time, by three hours." Harry looked down. Severus's eyes widened. "McGonagall had given it to Hermione first term, something so she could get to all her classes that year." Harry continued. "We started at Hagrid's to free Buckbeak from execution. We felt he didn't deserve to be put down because Draco had gotten cocky with him…" Harry sighed. "Hermione and I basically just went about recreating the events we'd first gone through…Until it came time to face the dementors again. Hermione and I had been watching, I told her to wait and my dad would come to save Sirius and me…"

"This is where she told you it couldn't have been your father?" Severus inquired.

Harry nodded to him. "We watched and nothing happened. Hermione made the comment that we were dying and no one was coming to save us…So I ran out and cast the charm myself. Ultimately recreating what I'd seen the first time…If that makes sense."

"You saw yourself, but didn't know it was you. You saved yourself and Sirius…" Severus stated.

"Hermione and I grabbed Buckbeak and went to Azkaban, she used Bombarda to blast open Sirius's cell and then we all returned to Hogwarts. Sirius promised me we'd see each other soon, that I looked like my father…Except my eyes…I have-," Harry smiled a little.

"Your mother's eyes, yes," Severus nodded.

"Sirius left with Buckbeak and that was the last time I saw him until he showed up in the fireplace of Gryffindor Tower to ask if I'd put my name in the Goblet of Fire. We'd been using letters before that." Harry informed. "But Hermione and I heard the clock chimes and rushed back to the hospital wing to get in place just as ourselves that went back vanished."

"Completing the time circle," Severus mentioned. "Senile old fool, letting thirteen year old children play with time…" He sighed.

"Technically, Hermione was fourteen, but I'm sure that doesn't change how you feel about it." Harry chuckled.

"No, it does not." Severus remarked. "How did the learning of the spell go? It's very difficult to produce and not every wizard and witch can. I've been told Death Eaters can't do it or they'll die." He added. "I sincerely hope Lupin didn't actually kidnap a dementor and use it for training…?"

"No, no. Lupin used a boggart," Harry stated. "The first time, I passed out. Lupin told me the memory I chose wasn't good enough, which had been the first time I rode a broom. The second time was…Well, I even told Remus it wasn't a happy memory and he suggested giving it a try. I was able to create a shield and push the boggart back into the chest."

"What was the memory, if you don't mind me asking? I can understand if you don't want to share it with me." Severus wondered.

"I was with my parents. I told Remus that it was the happiest I ever felt and it was the best I had. So…That's what I use." Harry shrugged.

"There's nothing wrong with using something you long for and can't have, Harry." Severus reassured.

"It was a memory from first year…" Harry revealed. "Over the holidays, I'd come across a room with a mirror in it. When I looked in…I saw myself with my parents." He looked down. "They were both smiling at me, had their hands on my shoulders and I could feel it. Guess that's what made it happy and sad for me. Seeing myself with them, knowing it wasn't real but feeling like it was." Harry closed his eyes. "Dumbledore moved it somewhere else, the last time I saw it was against Voldemort attached to Quirrell's body way down under the school. He told me it didn't do well to dwell on dreams."

Severus stared at the boy next to him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived and always seemed to wear a smile. He had so much pain inside and it was pain that others would fall apart under. Harry still kept his chin up and turned everything into a drive to keep going. But…There were moments like these where it got to Harry. Severus was seeing Harry in a new light, not the shadow of his father Severus had seen all these years. Harry might look like James, but he was Lily's heart and soul all the way.

"You're allowed to hurt, Harry. You're allowed to feel the hurt of not having them anymore, that you were too young to remember them and the amazing people they were. I may have disliked you father, but he grew up as we all do and I know he truly loved your mother. They were both strong, much like you…" Severus attempted comforting him. "It's alright to miss them."

"I know that, but being upset about their deaths doesn't change anything…They're still gone. And they'll still be gone when Voldemort is too." Harry told him.

"I understand how you feel," Severus told Harry. "Don't keep it inside, It'll destroy you. You don't have to break down, get angry or even cry. But acknowledge that it hurts and don't be afraid to let it out."

"I'll remember that, Professor," Harry told him.

"Good. Now, are you alright to go to dinner?" Severus asked.

"Yes, sir," Harry nodded. "There is one more thing I didn't mention because I thought it was random, but with today…I'm not so sure anymore."

"What is it?" Severus questioned.

"The day Umbridge gave me that first detention…A dementor showed up." Harry informed lightly. "It didn't go after me, but to Umbridge and she couldn't control it. She pleaded me to help her, and of course, I did…But it just feels off, Professor. Why are they showing up at random? Has the ministry lost control of them?"

"I don't know, but I will find out. Just keep your guard up, Harry. I'm more at ease with you knowing the charm to send them off, but still…" Severus told him.

"I'll be careful." Harry replied.

"Good. Then let's be on our way." Severus stood up, then Harry did as well. Severus gave Harry his wand back. "I'm most impressed with your patronus work, Harry. You should be proud to be fifteen and conjure something so strong, likewise in the past that you learned such at thirteen. I am proud and your parents would be too." He informed.

"Thank you," Harry replied, putting his wand away up his sleeve and into its holder that Severus just noticed.

"You keep your wand up your sleeve?" Severus inquired.

"Mmhm," Harry nodded. "Why?"

"Nothing. I do the same," Severus motioned. "What type of holder?"

"Quick release, dragon-hide in dark green." Harry replied.

"Coincidence that mine is the same," Severus gave a chuckle. "Come on." He guided Harry out and into the corridor for them to get out to where the main doors were into the great hall. Severus walked Harry down the tables and dropped him at Slytherin before going up to the head table and sitting down at the end where he always was.

"Feeling alright, Harry?" Theodore asked.

"Never better," Harry replied with a smile.

"You gave us a scare," Pansy stated.

"Sorry, didn't expect dementors to show up. Snape wanted to know how I produced the spell I did to send them off." Harry told the group.

"What was that spell?" Blaise questioned. "Everyone in DA wants to know."

"And they want to learn it," Draco added with a smirk.

"We'll talk about it next meeting. There's too many people around," Harry told them.

Harry soon grabbed some food and started eating quietly. Dinner was peaceful, but Harry couldn't shake the feeling of eyes on him so he ended up looking up to see Dolores Umbridge sitting at the table, basically staring at him and her lips pursed in a thin line like he'd done something she didn't want him to do. Or maybe surprise? Harry saw Minerva walk by and stop at him.

"Potter," Minerva got his attention.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry replied respectfully.

"I heard an interesting rumor and wanted to ensure I heard correctly," Minerva said.

"Okay, what did you hear?" Harry asked.

"Is it true you shouted at Professor Umbridge back at the start of term?" Minerva asked, staring through her small glasses.

"Y-Yes?" Harry responded. He saw Dolores grinning at him being called out on it.

"Called her a liar?" Minerva pushed.

"Well, yes…But you don't understand, Professor…" Harry tried.

"Have a biscuit, Potter," Minerva said, holding out a cookie to him.

Harry had been ready to defend himself, but he wasn't prepared for his old head of house to offer him a cookie. "Have a…What?" Harry looked at her with surprise.

"You heard me," Minerva gave him the cookie with a small smile. Harry heard a snap as Dolores had snapped her pencil in half, looking annoyed but trying to keep the smile up. "You've earned it, my boy,"

"Thank you, Professor," Harry accepted the cookie as Minerva patted his shoulder and went to the head table. Minerva passed Severus and they did a small exchange of looks at how things went. Harry saw Minerva lift her cookie up to Harry slightly and he returned the action, like a small toast. Harry ate his cookie, the whole time, a smile on his lips while looking at Dolores who was obviously fuming.

"I think you're becoming the favorite, Potter," Draco snickered.

"Probably because I'm the only one who has stood up to the pink nightmare." Harry stated.

"Don't get yourself in trouble. She's definitely out for blood now," Gregory remarked.

"Let her come for it. I was nice before, but if she gives me detention again; I'll refuse. What's she gonna do, expel me? She's not in charge, I don't care who she works for." Harry scoffed as he closed his eyes and relaxed.

"Oh, Dumbledore was looking for you before. We said you were asking about an assignment with Severus and that you were feeling unwell; he wants to see you in his office after dinner." Draco told him.

"Great. Hearing I have to be in a room with him does make me feel sick…" Harry muttered.

"Play on it, Harry." Draco said. "He told us if you were sick then you wouldn't have to go tonight."

"That's being a liar and exactly what I gave Umbridge a scolding over. Besides, if I don't see him tonight; he'll just make it another night. I'll go, see what he wants." Harry stated.

"Just be careful," Draco said lightly.

"I will. You don't gotta worry about me, Dray…" Harry smiled to him. "I'm a survivor."

"Good, cause we like you." Pansy grinned. "I gotta say, I wish you'd taken Draco's hand five years ago." She admitted. "Imagine the fun we could have had."

"Still can, you just need to not be so serious." Harry informed calmly.

"I suppose you'll have to teach us," Vincent suggested.

"I guess I will." Harry agreed.

"We know you're a survivor, Harry…But just don't forget that you got us and all of Slytherin. We'd all stand with you and fight." Draco reminded.

"I won't forget. Thank you," Harry replied.

Dinner continued as it should. Harry ignored the looks he got from Dolores, spending his time laughing and talking with his Slytherin friends. Harry didn't know what Dumbledore wanted, but Harry figured to go and get it out of the way; if the bastard tried anything, Harry would go right to Severus. Harry was ready to just relax for the night.