Observing his Padawan, Obi-Wan gently pressed on Anakin's shoulder, guiding him to sit down. He kept a watchful eye on his troubled apprentice, his thoughts racing as he considered the complex emotions swirling within Anakin.
"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and empathy. He had never seen Anakin like this, and it worried him deeply. Anakin's gaze had shifted from the room's surroundings to his mentor. Obi-Wan's expression is caught between concern and uncertainty but filled with love.
Years of denial had swept up any recollection of these moments and twisted them to fit the mould laid out by Sidious. It was only in his final moment could he see so clear.
"Do you," Anakin noted that his voice was both foreign and familiar. "Did you love me?"
At Anakin's question Obi-Wan couldn't help but pause. He had never expected this conversation, especially not with the strict rules of the Jedi Order. Yet, he knew the truth deserved to be acknowledged.
Obi-Wan's furrowed brow softened as he tended to Anakin's wound, his gaze steady on his apprentice. "Anakin, our bond as Jedi is a deep and profound one. We share a connection forged through years of trials and triumphs. I care for you deeply, and that connection is built on trust, friendship, and, yes, love, but not the kind that seeks to possess or control."
Anakin met Obi-Wan's gaze, his chest throbbing with guilt. "I needed to hear that, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan wrestled with conflicting emotions as he contemplated delving into the catalyst for this heartfelt conversation. He had, after all, encouraged Anakin to visit his mother, even if it meant bending the Jedi code's strict rules. He knew he would have to bury that transgression deep within him to maintain the facade of a Jedi untouched by attachment.
Yet, watching Anakin suffer in silence, was unbearable.
In that moment, a memory of his own master, Qui-Gon Jinn, came to mind. Qui-Gon had never been one to seek the Council's approval for everything; he followed his instincts and his heart. Obi-Wan sighed, realizing that sometimes, the rules needed to be set aside in favor of compassion and empathy.
Summoning his resolve, Obi-Wan finally asked, "Could you tell me what brought this on, Anakin?" His voice was gentle, offering a brief moment for his Padawan to share his burdens, without the expectations of the Jedi Order weighing on his mind.
Anakin clung to his melancholic smile, his eyes averted from Obi-Wan as if fearing that eye contact would unleash the torrent of emotions he had pent up for so long. It was as if a dam had been breached within him, and he struggled to contain the flood of memories and guilt threatening to engulf him.
"I killed them..." he whispered, his voice heavy with the weight of his own actions. The words spilled from his lips like a haunting refrain, each repetition a reminder of the darkness that had consumed him.
"I killed them all... I hated them," Anakin continued, his voice growing steadier as he recited the painful truth. The memories of that fateful day on Tatooine loomed large in his mind, and he couldn't escape the vivid recollections of his actions. However, it was clear to Anakin that he wasn't only referring to the lives he took that day but also the ones he caused so much suffering to after.
"What have I done?" Anakin's voice quivered as he grappled with the enormity of his past deeds. He knew that indulging in the darkness went against everything the Jedi stood for, but in that moment, he couldn't help but feel the pull of his own guilt.
Padmé's name hung in the air like a painful admission. She had been both a beacon of hope and a source of anguish in his life, a beautiful mistake that had led him down a treacherous path.
"I don't know what you've done," Obi-Wan admitted, his voice filled with concern. "Could you tell me?"
Although Obi-wan's voice was warm, it only deepened the chasm of guilt within him. Anakin knew he needed to regain control, to protect those he cared about from the tempest of his emotions.
His eyes dulled as he shut out the raw emotions threatening to overwhelm him, and Obi-Wan's concern for his Padawan reached new heights. Anakin's voice finally broke through the silence, he decided to take responsibility for at least one of his past sins.
"I killed the Tusken raiders that took my mother," Anakin confessed, his voice carrying the weight of his actions. "When I finally saw her…she died in my arms. I couldn't contain my rage and initiated a slaughter. I was ruthless, mindlessly killing every single one of them."
As the echoes of Anakin's confession faded, Obi-Wan was left with the grim reality of the path that lay ahead. He realized that he will have to face the choice of betraying the Council once more.
Notes ; As usual any comments are appreciated ^^
Still unsure I want shipping or which ship
Updates I'll try once a week? Maybe once every two weeks if I get busy (longer chapters ofc)