Chapter 1

The New Recruits of the 104th Cadet Corps

A/N:

Updated, Revised and Edited: 03/18/2021

For those who are new readers, all ages have increased to eighteen at the start instead of fifteen. I felt with the material and content I will be writing, an older age fit the characters more closely.

Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, I only own Emalina and any other OC's. The new story picture does not belong to me; I hold no Copyright and found the picture through Google Images.

~ oOo ~

How far back should I begin this story?

Though even if you get tired of listening,

I won't let you tell me it's over.

I Bring with me an unconscious impulse that I scribble down,

If everything ends up broken,

I can begin again from the impossible.

There's a reason that we came across in this world,

There's a reason that we caught the magnetic wave,

As we hurt one another, where is this world headed?

'There Is A Reason', No Game No Life: Zero

~ oOo ~

And so it begins…

"Hey, mop top!"

"Sir!"

"What do they call you, maggot?!"

With the pelting of the sun high in the sky, I watched the group of roughly three-hundred young individuals as they were sectioned into several rows, with twenty-five new recruits per row. All standing with hands behind their back at attention, just as I was, while waiting to be challenged by the Commander of the Military Cadet Corps: Keith Shadis. The aging, bald man maneuvered his way through each row, stopping at person after person, interrogating said individual with their name, home and reason for wanting to join the Military. And damn, was it brutal.

I was standing in the middle of the fifth row, my short, brown hair blew in the wind and I was slightly aggravated with myself that I didn't place the mop into a bun on my head. It was difficult to stand at attention and not avert my eyes from facing forward. Today, I was extremely curious. Glancing around from side-to-side, I stared in wonder at the cadets closest to me to see who I would be training with for the next three years. Shadis was still interrogating the same individual who stated that his name was Armin Arlert.

Wow, so he was actually inside the wall when the titans broke through the Shiganshina District, I thought.

The early afternoon heat was becoming a nuisance, especially with the required jacket for all Regiments, including the Cadet Corps. I'm just thankful that it's not leather. Closing my eyes, I wondered how long the inquisitorial would last. By the way Shadis was moving, I could tell he was skipping certain individuals, most likely because he could see the depth within their eyes. The blank slate of emotional prowess; they've seen death, the terror that struck our timid humanity only two years ago.

They were there in Shiganshina.

However, watching Shadis shove his face into the face of each cadet was hysterical. I had to bite my tongue, a futile attempt to stifle my laughter proved to be difficult. The way each recruit's faces would shrink was amusing, as this was not the first time I had seen the Commander intimidate others. The Commander's actions were nearly forcing the cadets to shit their pants, and that was a whole new level for the person who had once been the Commander of the Scout Regiment.

I still remember that first time he shoved his face into mine and questioned my reason for existence – it was the first time I had exclaimed, out loud, that I wanted to join the Cadet Corps once I became the age of fifteen. He was so taken back that he had screamed in my face – attempting, wanting, needing – to shove my mental capacity down to scrambles to prove that I was worthwhile to become a cadet.

"What do we have over here?!"

Opening me eyes, I realized the Commander's new position was facing the person in the row directly in front of me. With the cadet's back facing me, all I could examine of the new recruit was the muscled frame of his body, along with the copper-blonde undercut hair upon his head. My cheeks began to burn just at the image of his back. Oh damn… If that's his back…

"Jean Kirschtein, sir, from Trost District!"

"And why are you here, cadet?"

"To join the Military Police, sir, the best of the best."

Whatever tension in the air from Shadis' questions was increased after Jean's response. Small collective gasps escaped several individuals, but the man's straightforwardness was admirable. Some could say he was blunt, but honesty was honesty. True morality was somewhat hard to come by, especially with the fall of Wall Maria only two years prior. But with this 'Jean' admitting he wanted the Military Police simply for a better life within the interior, I wonder what he isn't afraid to admit? Without being able to see the front end of the conversation, it was annoying not having to see either expression, but the Commander's response alleged it all.

Shadis, on the other hand, wasn't amused as I. "That's nice. You wanna live in the interior, do ya?"

"Yes!" But Jean's second response wasn't to be taken lightly. Shadis rammed his forehead into the cadet's, who instantly crumbled to his knees, hands grasping his head, slightly rolling around on the ground.

"No one told you to sit, recruit! If you can't handle this Kirschtein, then forget about joining the Military Police!" The man moved onto the next recruit who also stated that his goal was the Military Police, but he wanted the honor in serving the King. Marco Bodt… So very different from this Jean Kirschtein. And as if on cue, Jean slowly rose from his position in the dirt and stood to his feet, one hand holding the side of his head. Despite watching his reaction, it was well known Shadis was, indeed, hardheaded – the poor recruit would be in pain for the next day or two.

Having finished the current row, after already calling out a cadet and placing her – this potato girl – onto his shit-list, the Commander had the row about face to the rest of the cadets who had yet to endure the petrifying man. From my stance, I watched the ground as numerous brown leather boots maneuvered their owners to twist until they were facing the row behind them. My eyesight was fixated on the pair that belonged to Jean, and as he fully faced forward, my gaze lifted to find his starring in my direction. Our eyes connected at once. Stiffening his shoulders, Jean's cheeks radiated with embarrassment that I, who stood directly behind him, had to witness his humiliation. Though it seemed what had the man on edge was the smile I wore.

Keeping my stand at attention, I swiftly dropped one arm to the side and quickly waved my fingers in Jean's direction. Eyes slightly widening, Jean mimicked my action, delivering a small smile of his own in return; my arm was quickly retrieved to behind my back as Shadis finally trekked his way to my position. The man glanced sideways before fully facing me, his façade never changing as he scowled. Having been around the man enough in the last two years, I knew how to acknowledge the difference in his expressions. In our current circumstance, the man saw me no differently than the other new recruits surrounding us.

Besides, I didn't want to be coddled simply because I knew him whilst the others did not.

"Wipe that shitty smile off your face. State your full name, Cadet!"

Removing said grin, I threw my left fist behind my back, and my right across my chest so it was placed directly over the beating of my heart. This was the salute for all Regiments, to prove the loyalty we held to serve humanity with all our heart's power. Mouth open wide, my voice reverberated across the vast training field as I yelled, "Emalina Varlen, sir!"

"Well, Cadet Varlen, tell me, why the fuck are you here?!"

Tch, well that's easy enough. "I'm here to become a soldier, sir!"

"Hmph, soldier my ass! The fuck you wanna do when you become a soldier?!"

Taking a deep breathed, my grin returned as I counter-yelled with, "I want to protect this world, sir! Whether my time here in the Training Corps leads me to join the Military Police, the Garrisons, or the Scouts, I will put my entire heart and life on the line to ensure that humanity survives against the titans, sir!"

Whatever tension was remaining in the air, had vanished. Those surrounding us broke rank and vigorously whispered amongst those who were closest; I could hear their words, as they questioned my motive and wondered how I was so buoyant with determination to become a soldier.

I'm not afraid of Shadis, maybe that's what has everyone on edge.

"Everyone will shut the hell up and return to your formation!"

Attention back on me, who he had occasionally mentored over the last two years, apart from my brother, the man was not surprised to see me standing before him. I'd known the man for awhile, not really growing to understand his position as Commander of the Cadet Corps until I began assisting with the previous class. He knew I was willing to risk my life to ensure humanity had a chance, even a minimal one, if that.

Shadis persuaded, and attempted to scare me, he did, but grew to understand the woman standing before him could not be persuaded. Early on he had learned I was as stubborn as a mule, and once I made a decision, I stuck with it. No one could waiver any decision I made. "Very good, I wouldn't expect anything less. Let's see if you have that feeling three years from now, Cadet Varlen!"

"Yes sir!"

Continuing his almost-murderous intent to beat the cadets into the ground, Shadis moved on eliciting victim after victim, each one cowering in dread. Exhaling, I was content, knowing my initiation was finally over. As Shadis moved past my position in line, my eyes looked up at Jean, whose face was unreadable, as if he was trying to process my reasoning for being in the Military. Smiling again, I glanced through my peripheral, noticing the Commander was further away, in which I gently touched my head, directly where Shadis had slammed into Jean, mouthing in his direction, Is your head ok?

Blinking, Jean quietly chuckled as he lifted his lips and smirked. Giving me a thumbs up, I knew he'd be ok. Still, the poor thing must have a headache after a pounding such as that from the Commander.

And it seemed not long after that, Initiation was over.

I tried to find Jean, even the one who stood next to him, Marco, to see what they had scheduled for the rest of the day. I didn't need to ask as they were both present in the required lecture classes on titans and strategy. I was alone for the rest of the day.

And that was ok.

Initiation Day was soon over, after lecture and instruction of what to come was presented to us. We were provided our schedules for training and our academics. By the end of the day, before dinner had even been served, almost seven recruits had resigned, deciding to work in the fields instead of becoming soldiers. After everything that had happened one day one, I stood outside the Mess Hall, watching several individuals load themselves up to be taken home.

Home. That must be nice.

With my arms folded, I leaned against the wooden railing, watching as the cart hauled the group of dropouts back to the Trost District, feeling indifferent of those who had decided to quit. If they wanted to work in the fields, let them work in the fields; everyone had the right to choose what was best fit for them. The world was all about survival – if that was how they wanted to survive another day, then so be it.

But the group next to me had other thoughts on the matter.

"Their dropouts. They prefer to work in the fields," the girl with two black pigtails answered another person's question. Mina, I think her name was.

"But it's only the first day," someone with dark hair replied. I remember him from earlier; Shadis had bypassed him. So he must've seen the same horrors too.

"That's the way it is," said a bald male.

"If you can't handle the pressure, you gotta leave. I can't believe anyone would rather pull plants than fight." From the corner of my eye, I looked at the individual who made the comment. His overall appearance seemed normal, but the way his eyes screamed was a little timid.

Oh, little man, you have a lot to learn. Taking leave from my post, I walked past the small group, heading to my bunk before the mess hall would call for dinner. Walking passed, I heard the same individual state that he was from Shiganshina, just like Armin. Well, that explains the eyes, but not his almighty attitude.

Later that evening, I was provided my meal Dana slice of bread, taking the seat I'd always sit at when with the Cadet Corps. I was alone. Most people were sitting with those they knew or some they met this afternoon. It was alright that I was alone, I was used to eating by myself. Well, sort of; it depended on the situation. Still, it seemed I would be alone for some time until I made some new friends.

"Are these seats taken?"

Head tilting upward, I was shocked to find Jean and Marco standing before him. Caught in mid-chew, I covered my mouth while waving for them to claim the seats before me. Sitting, the two stared down at their food and grimaced. The meal was supposed to be potato porridge with a side of bread, but it looked more like mushed grits than potatoes. Swallowing the same food, I noticed their looks and laughed as their expressions changed when they dipped their spoons into the bowl.

"Trust me, it grows on you."

"Oh, does it? Well that's good to hear!" The boy named Marco exclaimed, as he gently swallowed several bites. Jean still held a spoonful in his hand, nervousness creeping onto his face, but he grinned and bore the deed. Shoving his mouth full of his dinner, Jean shivered but continued to eat, as this would be his life for the next few years.

"Hey, how's your head doing?"

Glancing up, Jean noticed my eyes were on him and it seemed to take him a moment for the cadet to register the question I had just asked. Dropping his spoon, Jean tenderly touched the side of his head and smirked. "It's fine, nothing I can't handle."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

He groaned, his shoulders drooping. "You saw the whole thing, huh?"

"With being right behind you? Yeah, I did." Taking a sip of water from my mug, I couldn't help but smile before stating, "I'm Emalina, by the way. But you probably heard that from Initiation this morning."

Nodding, Jean replied, the accustomed smirk plastered upon his face, "I'm Jean Kirschtein."

"And I'm Marco Bodt!" The cadet smiled as he continued to eat through his gruel of a meal.

Marco's upbeat attitude had me grinning even more. "Yeah I remember. You're the one who wants to join the Military Police and serve the King, correct?"

"Oh yes! That's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember! And Jean over here…"

Slamming his mug down onto the table, Jean pronounced proudly, "I want to join the Military Police and live inside the Interior!" Marco rolled his eyes and chewed through his bread roll while I leaned against the table on my elbows, interested in what he had to say.

"Thus, why your head currently has a small pump protruding from your forehead." This caused Jean to groan as he gingerly hid his pump from view.

"Well…what about you?!" Jean's intimidating voice radiated across the table as I slightly recoiled from his tone. As Marco nudged his new friend in the side, Jean realized his slip-up. "I-I mean…is it true what you said? That you're not sure which branch you want to choose?"

His tone was questionable, but I shook my head and smiled reassuringly in his direction; his words made my stomach flip-flop, and I questioned if Jean had been confronted by others for his reasoning to join the Military Police. Marco viewed the chance as honorable since he wanted to serve the King; Jean wanted to ensure he led a safe life inside the interior, away from the possible invasion from the titans. My gut was telling me his reasoning was wrong, as it was something I didn't agree with. However, I respected his decision. He wanted to live, to survive, and there was nothing wrong with desiring to breath another day.

It's ok Emalina, just play it off as if you don't know.

"I don't, to be honest. All I know is that I want to become a strong soldier so I can protect those around me. I just…" Sighing, I moved several strands of hair away from my face, my eyes drifting downward. "I just hope that I can make a decision during our three years of training." Jean and Marco glanced at one another before smirking in her direction, both hold a thumbs up action for me to see. Oh, I really like these boys, I thought.

Though we weren't granted a tremendous amount of time for dinner, the three of us did spend our time talking and laughing about any and everything, though our topic of focus was mainly the training we would endure for the next three years. Sitting across from the two boys, I felt a sense of ease, a simple wish that hadn't been obtained for quite some time. As cliché as that sounds, finding people I could sit and have a decent conversation with had been painful these last few years. Since the fall of Wall Maria…

Blood…there was blood everywhere.

Running…as a little girl, I couldn't do anything but run past the homes of friends and family that were raised by my side since I was born. Screams echoed across the wood houses; cries reverberated against the inside of my ears – but I could do nothing but push my legs forward and run to our home, hoping to see the familiar faces of mother and father. The straining muscles within my ever-growing thighs burned with a relentless fire that didn't grant me the speed that I sought. Dogs, cats and horses were all I could focus on until the wooden frame of my home came into view.

The crunch…the stench…the silence… It was overwhelming.

And it was dragging me down, deep into the pits of a darkened hell that I may never escape.

" – lina…? Emalina…?"

Gasping, I widened my eyes and looked around. The mess hall was fairly loud with peppy chatter from all the new recruits, as many had already finished with their meal. Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I sighed, eyes stinging, but I willed myself to sway the emotion. It wasn't difficult for me to cry, I simply forced myself not to. Right now, there was no point. Lifting my head, both Jean and Marco were intently watching my reaction.

"Are…you alright?" Their voices blended as one, so I wasn't sure who had asked, but the question nonetheless made the corners of my lips curve upward.

"Yeah…" I replied slowly, breathing out before taking a bite of my bread. "It's just…what a day. Initiation was such a rush, and we haven't even begun training."

"I know! Man, I cannot wait to learn ODM! Can you imagine, Jean?" The copper-blonde male looked towards Marco and nodded, a smirk appearing on his lips as he, too, was seemed excited to swing through the trees. With a response, Marco spoke with enthusiasm about how he envisioned the feel of using the three-dimensional maneuvering equipment. My ears were trained forwards, curious to hear what the boy had to say, but from the corner of my eye, I could see Jean peering at me, while listening to his friend. I couldn't tell if he was simply staring, or concerned about what just occurred.

Please, for all that is holy and terrifying, do not let these memories affect my training.

"Hey Eren, I heard you saw the Colossal Titan two years ago!"

"I heard the same! What was it like? Was it really taller than the wall?!"

Glancing to the right, I noticed a small group had formed around the individual called Eren Jeager, the annoying individual from early and one of the survivors from Shiganshina. Raising an eyebrow, I was surprised by the rising questions the other cadets were asking Eren. I was raised by the rule that it was fairly rude to remind or question someone who'd had a horrifying experience. Marco, standing to his feet, exclaimed he wanted to hear the conversation and went to stand next to Eren as the others continued in bombarding the male with questions.

I know I have my demons…but I couldn't fucking imagine what he must've seen.

"So you really saw it?"

"Yeah…yeah I did."

The group gasped, causing me to glance around the hall, only to realize that the rest of the cadets were entranced by his explanations. Nearly half of the room were standing around his position at the table across from us. Though my curiosity was caught, I couldn't bring myself to focus on the other cadet's answers. His words held no remorse, no pain. I doubt the boy is emotionless, but stating that they "weren't that big a deal"? That one phrase burned a hole straight into my heart. Gritting my teeth, I did the only thing I could do besides leaving the mess hall entirely, by diverting my attention away from the conversation. Therefore, I picked up my spoon to squash any remaining potatoes that remained in the bowl. Jean almost immediately noticed my antics and knocked his knuckle against the table next to my hand, in attempt to gain my attention.

"Hey, you alright?"

Nodding, it was too early to provide a detailed explanation, but I whispered loudly enough for my companion to hear, "His words…I'm just annoyed at what he's saying."

"Tch, you're not the only one, Ema."

"…huh?" Eyes locking onto one another, Jean leaned his head upon his hand as it created a stand from his elbow. He smirked, and I then realized that smirk was his trademark. Something deep within me burned; the ways his lips curled was comforting.

Comforting and…sexy.

Knock it off, Emalina!

"What do you mean huh?"

"You…you called me Ema." Running my hands through my hair, I smiled, not knowing what to feel.

"Yeah, it's a shortened version of your name – just a nickname for you. Is that alright?" My lips shut tight, I could only nod in response as the butterflies erupted deep within the depth of my belly, causing goosebumps to radiate off my skin. My body shook with intense shivers at the sound of the new nickname as it rolled off the tip of his tongue. Noticing the way I was averting his eyes, Jean leaned forward as he asked, "Wait…have you never had a nickname?"

"O-of course I have! Ema surprisingly just so happens to…not be one of them." My statement sounded just as silly saying it out loud as it did in my thoughts. I covered my hand as my body erupted in a fit of giggles. Crossing arms on the table, I lay my head down, cheeks tinted red from laughing. It was true. I'd had several nicknames in the past…but that was the past, even though the three letters were directly from my name. The only people I knew who had a nickname for me were probably off beyond the wall on a reconnaissance mission. Glancing up, I questioned Jean. "Why? Do you have one?"

"Tch, are you kidding me? A manly man like me? N-no, no way."

But the pink slowly spreading across his cheekbones said otherwise, and I was quick to notice the squint in his eyes. "Oh, you're lying. Only manly men have nicknames. Tell me, what is it?"

But Jean was ready with his own counterattack. "Only if you tell me yours."

"Nope, not gonna happen."

"Fine, let's make a deal."

Intrigued, I stood straight from my comfortable resting position. "A deal…and, pray, oh wise one, what did you have in mind?"

"Tomorrow they're training us with weightless maneuvering gear to determine if we even have the ability to use ODM gear. If you fall first, you tell me yours – and if I fall first, I'll tell you mine."

Grinning, I extended my hand out in acceptance, but quickly pulled back the moment Jean was about to touch my skin. "But what happens if neither one of us falls and we become amazing with the exercise?"

Liking what he was seeing in my eyes, Jean grinned. "I think we should leave that to Marco. He'll decide what we should do. Deal?" Grinning from ear to ear, I nodded enthusiastically and said, "Deal" as we grasped each other's hand, but word from the conversation to the table next to ours caught Jean's attention as he turned, his eyes and ears listening in on what Eren had to say.

"I'm joining the Scout Regiment. Then I'm sending the titans back to hell. I'm gonna butcher them all."

"Hey, are you crazy or something?" Now my attention was focused on what Jean had to say, as did the rest of the cadets in the mess hall, but the look Eren had on his face was none too happy. "Not that it's my business, but signing up for reconnaissance is like a death sentence."

"I guess we'll see. Or at least I will. You seem content hiding in the Interior with the MP's."

Ohhh boy… I thought. He's self-righteous, claiming that his way – joining the Scouts and killing all the tians – is the only way to live. Any other option someone chooses is the "easy way" out. Tightening my fist, anger coiled within my chest, and I had to focus on my breathing so I wouldn't jump out of my chair. Whether Jean was uneasy with the conversation, I couldn't tell.

"Look, I'm just speaking honestly here, kid. I think it's better than being some loud mouth, bragger-tough-guy-wannabe, pretending he's not as piss scared as the rest of us."

Eren stood to his feet, both of his fist tightly curled against his side. "Are you trying to pick a fight?" Really? Are they really trying to pick a fight on the first day?! Watching the two boys step closer to each other left a sour taste in my mouth; I knew this wasn't right, and not because they were already wanting to pound the other. Their reasoning was absurd. They both were allowed to believe in their own opinions, not beat each other up because they disagreed.

Swallowing the bile that had risen from my throat, I quickly stood and made my way beside Jean, placing a hand onto his shoulder as he peered back in my direction. "Please don't do this…" I whispered so only he could hear. He raised an eyebrow in question, but the pleading gaze in my eye had him stalling, and I could see his stare softening.

Eren raised an eyebrow and chuckled before he could counter with anything, the bell rang, signaling curfew was now upon the training grounds and everyone was to proceed to their required dorm, with, obviously, boys and girls separated. Sighing, Jean finally said, "Hey, I apologize. Sorry for calling you names and dismissing your choice of careers. Put it there kid, what do you say?"

Jean held his hand out, waiting for Eren to accept the apology, but all the boy did was slap his hand away and mutter, "Right. Yeah, I'm sorry as well."

Exhaling the breath I'd been holding, I squeezed Jean's shoulder as he glanced in my direction. Walking back towards the table, I grabbed our plates and mugs, walking towards the necessary counter to place so they would be cleaned by morning. Walking back, I witnessed Jean, a complete, bumbling mess as he was attempting to strike a conversation to a female with pure black hair. I'd noticed she was attached to Eren's side and wondered what their relationship was. My curiosity was short lived as I observed the redness tinting Jean's cheeks, how he stumbled over his words, and how he had that 'far away' glance in his stare as he watched the female mutter a few words before walking out of the hall. All I could do was watch and observe the scene before my eyes, it was so obvious to see that Jean was smitten over this girl.

And for some reason, the sight before me twisted my stomach as it churned with dinner I had just eaten. I…had no name for the sensation that was ongoing within my heart, but for the first time since I began to live in this lonely world all by myself, I actually felt something. Whatever that something was, Jean was the cause of it.

And I was determined to discover what that something was.

~ oOo ~

Please review the new edits! I'll be working very hard on all chapters between updates.

DragonGoddess629