DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE NARUTO UNIVERSE, THE IMAGERY THAT ARE USED, OR ANY OF THE TERMINOLOGY. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT AND MAKE THE CHARACTERS DO MY BIDDING.

WARNINGS: YAOI, LIGHT ANGST, LANGUAGE, CURSING, LIGHT CHEATING, GUY X GUY, NARUTO X SASUKE, NARUSASU, LIGHT FLUFF, DRINKING, NO HAPPY ENDING ETC.

I never thought this day would come…

Standing slowly above the heads at tables, his body lifting gently, blue eyes meeting onyx. He was greeted with a nod, making him swallow down the nerves. His bandaged hand grabs his drink cup, the smell of sake swirling as he looked around, before grabbing his spoon, chiming against the glass.

"Oi! Oi!"

Ding ding ding

It wasn't a large crowd, more of an intimate setting. Blue eyes took in formal shirts, and swirling skirts before clearing his throat. The type of clothing you would expect at such an occasion.

"Can I have everyone's attention, please?"

One thing that Naruto Uzumaki had learned throughout the years was how to command a crowd. Years ago, before he graced the seat as the current Hokage, speaking to those before him had been a bit nerve wrecking.

Naruto didn't consider himself a man of grace, but what he lacked in grace, he made up with passion. Naruto found that if he focused on what was important to him, if he spoke from the heart. He found himself being able to speak with a profoundness that he knew would make his father, and all previous Hokage's proud.

"I would like to propose a toast. Today, we got to witness love, a long lasting love, that is now forming into a life long commitment."

Today is a wonderful occasion.

"Everyone knows how I feel about this bastard, right here." Naruto knew that once he spoke those words, he would get a few chuckles. He paused, his smile wide with his crystal glass in his hands raised high in merriment, he even pointed with his thumb on his opposite hand for good measure. His blue eyes not taking in the laughter of those around him, but taking in his eyes, one of the most notorious ninja in all the land. His best friend. The reason he stood before the crowd on today.

"Sasuke Uchiha, the last Uchiha they called him, but me- I simply call him my best friend."

Naruto saw the usual blank expression transform softly.

Most wouldn't notice the change, but Naruto noticed everything when it comes to his best friend. He noticed how his one dark eye and his purple swirling rinnegan eye grew from disinterest to light. Naruto noticed how the corners of his best friends lips shifted slightly at the crease giving a small smile. Naruto noticed how his body shifted slightly, barely a centimeter towards Naruto, with a slight familiar and comfortable lean.

Look at him.

To other's the Uchiha may come across as cold and indifferent but Naruto saw that he had Sasuke's full attention on him. Naruto shifted a bit, his body shifting in delight from the small impact.

"We've been through so much, I even had a phase were I would do anything for the asshole, you know?"

"You still do!"

"Shut up, Shika!"

The crowd laughed loudly at the banter while Naruto tried his best to wield off the slight tint of red on his whiskered cheeks. Even though he was in a room with a small, intimate group before him, many he would call family, his eyes still remained on him. Only on him.

Shika's right. He still takes my breath away.

Naruto cleared his throat loudly, his body shifting to try and downplay the remark and thoughts as casualness before continuing with a glare aimed at his advisor.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Sasuke and I have been through childhood rivalry, threw honing our skills, and even though we may have fallen off at periods in time, we always made our way back to each other."

"So when I was told- not asked but told to speak, I was shocked. I mean the bastard really wants to let me speak at such an important occasion." Naruto's eye brow rose, as he gave the man a wide smile, a chuckle escaping him as he watched Sasuke shift in his seat with a mocking glare.

"I'm regretting this now."

"Teme!"

"Go ahead, Usuratonkachi. Continue."

Naruto gave a loud dramatic huff making the man's lips shift in a small perch. Blue eyes took notice of it all, every little shift of wide lips as dark strands covered Sasuke's rinnegan.

It was never fully addressed, but Naruto could tell that Sasuke felt that he had to keep it concealed, due to all the guilt of what he had done in the past. Naruto reminded the man over and over, that he was forgiven, and that the village appreciates him, and wants him here, but the stubborn man wouldn't budge in his conviction.

He was right in some ways, sure things have gotten slowly better, but there were still a few that gawked at Sasuke, or would turn the opposite way when they saw him in the vicinity. Naruto knew that it was still, even years later, a sore topic for the Uchiha, but… in this moment… the only thing that was on Naruto's mind was one wish.

I wish I could push back those strands with my fingers. I don't want him to keep covering up and hiding. I want to see your face, feel your skin under my finger tips

"Bastard." The word tumbled from Naruto's lips before he gave it permission. He just hoped that no one could hear the longing, the fondness, the familiarity. Naruto drags his eyes from the face that was always in the forefront of his mind, clearing his throat before going back to his cards in his hand, with a nervous shuffle.

"I have always believed that the speech you make should reflect the man it's for. So instead of talking for hours about our victories, our challenges, and our mistakes. Instead of telling embarrassing stories of our youth, that we hoped would never see the light of day. Instead of bragging about how I currently have the most wins in our sparing-"

"You didn't win that last round-"

"Believe it! I kicked your ass-"

"I was going easy on you-"

"We can go outside right now and-"

"Are they really doing this in the middle of-" Kakashi's lazy drone cut through the banter between old friends, making Naruto wave at his old mentor with a dismissal wave before glare back at the man he had been drawn to from such an early age.

"Right! Stop distracting me assholes."

"Hn."

Naruto gave a hearty chuckle, he was grateful that Kakashi, unintentionally, intervened because the one thing about Naruto was that he could argue with the bastard for hours, and never get tired. He could sit and stare at his, so unfair how pretty he is, face and not need a break.

Looking at his face now, eyes still greeting he's, Naruto lost hope. He wasn't one to give up, to surrender, but today, at such a special occasion. Naruto was prepared to eat the cake of defeat.

"Sasuke is a man of few words. So instead of my usual rambles, I will simply say this. I am honored to have found a friend in you, Sasuke."

I'm honored to have you in my life.

"You really are my best friend."

… But you're so much more than that.

"So everyone, rise a glass to the happy couple and help me celebrate Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha."

I've made so many mistakes in my life. But not being honest, letting you go, was the worst decision I've ever made.

"May you have a long and happy marriage filled with happiness and love."

Something I will have to watch up close.

"No one deserves true happiness more than you."

But I can't blame anyone for the way things ended up. I can't blame anyone but myself.

Naruto knew that he was looking directly at Sasuke when he delivered the last line, but he couldn't help it. Sasuke deserved all the happiness in the world.

It just sucks, that the happiness you get to explore… the deep unshaken love he gets to receive from now on…

"Cheers!" Naruto said with a wide grin that he knew he was forced, as he lifting his glass in salute, spilling a bit of sake in his exuberance.

… It won't be from me.

"Cheers!"

Tch coward.

Naruto could hear the sounds of his molars grinding as he punched the air with a loud laugh, he could taste a tinge of metallic copper in the back of his throat. His deep grimace covered perfectly with his Naruto Uzumaki trademark smile.

"Believe it."

Naruto knew that as soon as he married Hinata that he made a terrible mistake. At the time, he was on the fast track to becoming Hokage, something he had dreamed about, shouted about.

But once the war ended, and Sasuke left on his own personal mission of atonement, Naruto felt… lost. For the first time in his life, he didn't really know what he wanted.

But instead of exploring this, knowing that he needed to grieve, mourn, and to understand his feelings for how events had unfolded, Naruto shoved it all in a box in the back of his mind. He didn't focus on the pain of losing his parents, his father all over again, and losing Sasuke days later. It was all just too much.

One thing at a time, focus on one thing at a time…

That's what he told himself.

He had fought for Sasuke, ran all over the world to find Sasuke, hell- he's even spoke on behalf of the rouge Nin, hoping that all would spare him.

Naruto knew, deep down that Sasuke was hurting, that the village betrayed him, destroyed him and turned him into something he wasn't. Naruto kept thinking that if he got Sasuke home, if he could just get Sasuke back to the Leaf Village all would go back to normal.

But it didn't.

It never did go back to normal.

And as Naruto got older, learned more about the hidden truths of the Leaf, he found himself questioning the meaning of the word he kept throwing around to Sasuke. He thought he knew what the word meant, thought that it would all make sense once Sasuke and he were back in Konaha, but the paper was starting to crumble around all the cracks and holes in the structure.

Home.

Home.

Home.

What the hell was home anyway?

Naruto at first thought that his home was a place. It made sense to him at the time in his young life. Home was expired milk in the fridge, plants he couldn't keep alive to save his life, and picking a fight with Sasuke. His home was a village that despised him, hated him, destroyed his esteem each time he stepped foot at the door.

But…

Through it all Naruto still screamed, to the top of his lungs to anyone who would hear him…

"I will become Hokage!"

He wanted to make it known. Not just to those who sneered and mocked him, not just to the open air or to the Hokage Monument.

A lot of times, despite the grin and the exuberant attitude, he was shouting it to himself. Telling himself that he will make something great from the scraps he had been given.

It was why Naruto was so adamant about becoming Hokage, he was determined to protect it, and shield it from all harm. He wanted to show all that he had a greater importance, a greater calling than just demon child.

Through the years, the many layers of the Leaf began to fall all around him… what he found underneath it all were just years of disgusting lies, spilled blood, and old traditional views and laws that smelled putrid and sour.

Home.

Was this what home suppose to look like?

Rotten flesh.

A failed messed up system for kids like him… like Sasuke.

When Naruto started to gather the facts, jot down all the errors, he realized that he… and that Sasuke didn't stand a chance in a system like that.

People cried through the streets that Sasuke Uchiha was nothing more than a rogue ninja and a traitor, but without all the pieces to the puzzle, without all the truth behind a clan destroyed and slaughtered, without all hidden figures in the shadows… how could they know that, this was the results of what was given to them.

They were truly powerless in a game of will, until Naruto started to fight in a different way. He started to show people how to fight with their subconscious, with their words, with their hearts.

So many people could have been spared and so many souls could have been saved, if we just took the time, to talk to one another, to understand one another.

And even though Naruto had paved the way, had made great strides, he left one thing in a box in the back of his mind with a tight lid on it.

Home?

He left those feelings of dread when he thought he would never see Sasuke again.

Home?

He left those moments were their eyes would connect, he could swear he could feel something deep inside him align.

Home?

He left anything that was too complex, too real, too raw in that box in the corner, with the promise of going back later when he was stronger, when he was wiser, when he was ready.

But I never did go back…

Naruto felt overwhelmed in the mist of his recovery, in the mist of the recuperation, and when Sasuke left it felt like something inside of him broke. No one mentioned that Naruto seemed… off. No one mentioned that Naruto threw himself into his Hokage training day in and day out with no break (okay, maybe a small ramen break, but that was it.)

Naruto, which was once referenced as the sun, as a light, as a beacon… was slowly dimming, and transforming to something else entirely. The young Nin did what he was asked to do. He studied hard, but when the time came, it wasn't enough.

Why did I never go back to that box?

When it was mentioned that maybe Naruto would look more "ready" or "serious" if he thought about taking a "wife", to show he was a stable fixture within the village, he went the easy route, the safe route.

"Is everything okay?"

The voice was soft and light, a hand landing on his shoulder giving a soft rub. Naruto was thankful for Hinata, but his heart, didn't thump from the touch, it didn't race from just the sound of her voice. She was comfortable but she wasn't him.

Why am I such a coward?

"Yes. I'm fine." Naruto threw back on his wide smile quickly, he didn't want anyone to look at him carefully, to notice that his eyes were sad, or that he didn't drink in the salute.

"Can I borrow him for a second, Hinata?" Now that voice, did something else entirely. Naruto's hands began to sweat, his heart racing, preparing to to leap right out of his chest.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife. It's your wedding day S'uke!" Naruto tried to be loud, vibrant like the color orange, what people expected, but he couldn't look up, and couldn't meet those eyes. He was use to playing a role, falling into a facade. Naruto had already admitted his defeat, he wasn't sure he could handle having to face it right away.

"It won't take long."

The tone was as articulate and calm as ever. Naruto shoved down the shiver that threatened to go through his body at the sound of it.

It would look rude if he turned down the groom, especially since he just toasted as the bastard's best man.

~N~

The two were sitting outside, the view of the Hokage Monument right across their view.

Sasuke quietly put down the two empty glasses that were in his hand before he pulled out a bottle of sake from his cloak, which he was holding under his arm. The act was a difficult one, due to him missing his other arm, but with years of not having it, Naruto knew that Sasuke had learned how to operate the best he could.

That was all they could do.

Operate. Adjust. Continue forward.

The two glasses sat between them on the bench, the cool breeze and the whisper of the cherry blossoms making the land look ethereal, the big moon in the sky breathtaking and bright.

If people thought Naruto was the sun, Sasuke was without a doubt the moon.

The moon was always so misunderstood to Naruto. It was always deemed as dark, mystical, hidden or deceptive. But looking up at the bright big globe in the sky, Naruto thought of different words entirely. He thought of light that seemed to aluminate the night sky, the pale warmth of the shade, reminding Naruto strongly of Sasuke's skin. The moon was old, and wise, teaching those to stand your ground, to fight your fears that you may face in those dark moments.

Why am I such a coward?

Naruto found himself sighing into the night air as Sasuke poured them each a glass, even when Naruto made it known that he wasn't drinking tonight.

I don't deserve the moon.

"You look like you need it." Sasuke simply said, as he continued to fill both glasses with sake before sitting down the bottle on the side of the bench.

Naruto grabbed his glass, his eyes looking down at the earthy liquor. Sasuke grabbed his glass, bumping Naruto's shoulder softly making the blond laugh at the gesture before he could stop the sound from escaping, both brought the rich elixir to their lips.

Naruto hummed at the taste. It was obviously a very good brand with how complex the flavor was on his tongue. It was rich, earthy, with a small hint of something floral. Naruto usually liked his Sake on the sweeter side, but for tonight with the cherry blossom's flittering around them, it tasted perfect.

Not too sweet. Not too bitter. Just…enough.

"So…"

The sound of Sasuke's tone speaking in the night air, surprised him. Sasuke was never one to start or hold conversations long.

"So…?" Naruto replied with a tip of his head.

"You got any advice for me? Married man to married man."

Advice?…

Naruto felt empty, his heart wailing behind his rib cage. Naruto swallowed down more of the brew, needing its courage to continue on with the conversation.

"Ah! Yes! Yes! Advice… lets see- hmmm…"

Naruto had nothing, nothing at all to give the man when it came to advice, but he found himself stumbling through it with cliched advice that he was given once he was married. You know, "Don't go to bed angry" stumbling to the words "If she says she's fine, she's not fine."

All while Naruto rambled, he felt eyes watching him, closely, too closely. He could feel himself break into a sweat as his rambling came towards the end.

"… The most important thing is that you're happy, y'know?"

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you happy?"

The question felt like a punch to the gut, Naruto found himself gasping sharply, his mouth forming a frown, before he reminded himself that he was to smile, that he must remain happy. After all this was his best friend's wedding day.

"Yes! Yes of course-"

"You're such a shit liar."

Another blow to the gut, Naruto was holding on by a tread.

Please don't do this. Not tonight.

The only thing that was heard for a while was the breeze off the trees, and the sounds of bugs buzzing and chiming in the night. Naruto refused to look at him, he knew he had already been caught- well half caught, but if their eyes met… (gulp).

"It's okay. Naruto, it's just me." The tone was surprisingly soft, more soft than Naruto had ever had the man sound. Against his better judgment, he turned, and their eyes met.

Naruto immediately wanted to kick himself for not looking sooner, not seeing how… amazing Sasuke's eyes looked under the moon light. So breathtaking, so ethereal, like the moon itself. Naruto was captivated by his beauty, until Sasuke's eyes shifted away once more, allowing Naruto to breathe. To speak. To form truths that he wasn't sure he would ever be strong enough to admit.

"No. No, I'm not happy." The words were spoken softly, barely over a whisper, but he knew that Sasuke heard them. His own ears were greeted with a soft hum before he heard words that shook him to the core.

"Me either."

Naruto neck snapped quickly at the admission, his eyes widening as he took the words in. He swallowed loudly, when those eyes met his own, once again.

"It's okay Sasuke."

But it's not though.

Naruto knew that those words were a lie, once he spoke them. Sasuke, being the all knowing bastard knew it too. The two continued to drink, their bodies close providing the only warmth in mist of the breeze that had started to grow colder in the night.

"Is there anything else we can do?"

We could run away together, leave our wives, families, responsibilities behind and just be. We can be happy Sasuke. I know it!

"No." The words were the truth, even though it hurt, even though it felt like a stab through the heart.

Sasuke nodded, his lips forming a frown as he swallowed down the last of his drink. Naruto watched as his best friend, his confidant, his one true love continued to look out at the night, as if he was searching for something, for anything. Blue eyes watching a pale throat shift and swallow down shitty truths with deliciously chilled sake.

"I did mean it, when I said that no one else deserves happiness more than you."

Naruto gave the shoulder a playful bump, drinking down the last of his sake. He watched as the corners of Sasuke's lips grew into a soft smile, a fond smile. It was Naruto's favorite smile to see on the bastard. So light and airy, but still very warm with a genuine glow.

They were close now, face to face, eyes aligned both swirling with sadness and understanding.

"You do too, you know. Naruto, you deserve happiness more than anyone." The words were firm, and his gaze had a sureness that made Naruto own eyes shine and water at the statement. Naruto could hear Kurama deep within him agreeing with the Uchiha, but Naruto ignored the statement, ignored the tailed beast that still lived within him. Naruto was in a bubble, a Sasuke induced bubble, floating around in the clouds, and he never wanted to come down.

Sasuke's hand landed on both of Naruto's giving them a soft caress. Naruto let out a soft gasp at the touch, his body buzzing at such a simple graze on the back of his hand and wrapped knuckles.

"Sasuke- Sasuke, I want-"

"I know. I want that too."

But he had to come down from that cloud. They both did.

That was the thing about them, they always seemed to speak their own language, knew each other's hearts, were very familiar with each other's souls. Naruto knew that they may have both known for a while, but were too afraid to acknowledge it or address it with in themselves. They didn't need to talk, when their eyes spoke for them.

"It's my fault-"

"Stop."

"I should have held out for you-"

"I don't blame you Naruto. You did what you thought you had to do."

"If I left with you, would you have let me?"

"I'd never say no to you."

The two stayed there until they couldn't no longer, knowing that they had been out for too long.

Naruto thought that he would feel sad, that he would feel lower than low from talking to his heart's desire on his wedding day, but he left the bench with a soft smile. Their hands brushing but not grasping as they slowly made their way, away from the bench, toward the big wooden door.

"What about training to be Hokage? You would have missed so much."

"I've learned… very late… that the village isn't my home. You are Sasuke. I would have been happier running this village with you, by my side."

If anyone asked, Naruto would blame the sake, blame the cold breeze, or he would blame his need to annoy the raven haired man, that had always crowned Naruto as a nuisance. Naruto gathered all the bravery he could muster to do one thing. He needed to do it. He refused to be a coward in this moment.

"I make you happy?"

"More than you know, Sasuke.

Naruto didn't want to live on the 'what ifs' of their past. Didn't want to continue forward, toward that box in the back of his mind with the tight lid.

Naruto raised his bandage hand slowly, running through inky strands that swayed in the breeze, before tucking loose strands behind his ears. Naruto leaned in slowly, placing a soft but firm kiss right on a pale cheek. Naruto's blue eyes watched pale cheeks warm under his finger tips, watched as eyes gazed into his own with something new, something vulnerable. He could see the onyx iris shift, swirling to a bright red and black mangekyou sharingan, eyes dancing in the dead of night with so much emotion.

"I wish… I wish I could be happy with you."

The words escaped Naruto's lips before he could silence them. He was just so tired of being a coward, so tired of biting his tongue.

He knew he had overstepped, knew that he crossed a boundary, knew that his desire should have never been spoken. But something about the night air made him feel invincible, like he could redo the task of bringing Sasuke back to the village, like he could take on Madara Uchiha and Kaguya all over again, no sweat. Like he could actually go into the room with the wedding cake and his wife, and tumble the whole event into the ground.

When his lips touched Sasuke's cheek, even though it was small and too quick for his liking, he felt alive. He felt as tall as Sasuke's Susanoo.

"I wish that too."

Maybe this was enough. Maybe this night, this one small moment could be enough.

… I never thought this day would come.

A/N:

This concludes the challenge I gave to myself to post a new one shot for each week for the month of SEPT. I didn't plan to catch COVID, and I didn't plan to end the challenge with this particular one shot. I won't lie, I'm not in love with this one shot, I wanted to try something different, some more canon to the Naruto universe...

I may do a re-edit of this one shot one day, but at this moment in time, this is what I have... I hope you enjoyed this update.

The next update will most likely be the start of a long story, which I'm excited about it! I also have a few one shots on the back burners... we'll see how those go.

Thank you for your continued support. It means a great deal to me!

Love y'all!

Ci Mai

xoxo