Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: Hello Readers! Trying something new with this short story. I have not seen Baruto and have no plans of seeing it. This story takes place in that world when they (the new generation of ninja) are twelve/thirteen. This story really is not about them. It's about adult Naruto and adult Sakura. This chapter is in Sakura's perspective. The next (and final) chapter will be in Naruto's.

Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think!

She grabbed the strap of her white canvas tote bag tighter in her hand as her other arm swung slightly as she walked. It was an hour before the sun would set. It would be dinner time shortly after. Gravel crunched underneath the soles of her sandals. She nodded and smiled at faces in greeting as she walked past them. Her eyes and head were in the clouds. Her feet knew the way. She did not have to give it any additional thought. It was a path she walked countless times dating back to her youth. She knew every sight, sound, and smell. She knew what was there but everything was dulled, muted, and so far away. There was a slight tightness in her chest but it had been there since before she woke up and nothing in her day had done anything to alleviate it.

She could not get the image out of her mind. Her ears still rang with the sounds. It had been so vivid, so colorful that she had forgotten it was not real. The smile she awoke with, along with the giddiness, quickly faded when reality had come crashing down. The joy, the lightness, was replaced by something close to disappointment if she dared to spend the time to label the feeling. Her bare feet made contact with the cold wooden floorboards of her room. The warmth was gone. She went about the rest of her day in almost a dazed state, caught in between worlds not quite here and unable to go back there.

It had been a lighter-than-usual day at the hospital. The stars seemed to be aligning in her favor today. Or maybe they were messing with her. She could not decide yet which one it was. She barely registered that she was climbing up the steps. The clicking of her heels echoed off the silent stairwell. Not even the sound of her fist making contact with the wood cleared up the ringing in her ears. She did register vaguely the clearing of the throat and a "come in". The surprise was not hidden well in the tone. She gripped the metal of the doorknob and twisted it. She stepped into the room. An easy smile greeted her from behind a mountain of papers.

"Sakura-chan. What can I do for you?" His eyes were bright with curiosity.

She returned his smile with one of her own. Typical Naruto, always asking how he could make her life easier.

"Actually I'm here to help you." His blond brows shot up. She crossed her arms. "You should probably make it to one family dinner this week. Figured I could help you with some of your paperwork." She shrugged at the surprised look that crossed his face briefly.

"What about Sadara?" He leaned back in his chair. His pen was still hovering over the paper in front of him. His eyes studied her.

"She's still at the sleepover at ChoCho's." She did not come home until tomorrow and Sakura was in no hurry to go back to an empty house. No, that would only make the tightness worse. The cold would settle into her bones. Despite herself, she felt her impatience grow. For whatever reason, he could still cause her to swing from one extreme to another faster than anyone. Her patience had grown as she did but it never seemed enough when it came to him.

"Do you want my help or not?"

His eyes lit up. "Yes please!" He handed her a third of the stack in front of him. She grabbed it from his hands, careful not to touch his fingers. She rounded over to the other side of his desk and fell onto the window seat behind him. She folded a leg and dangled the other as she rooted through her bag for a pen with her hand that was not pinning papers against her chest.

"Those there are waiting for approval. Look through them and hand me any that need signing. I trust your judgment."

She pushed down the butterflies that were caused by his casual statement. His openness was something she had come to appreciate. It was not hard to know what was on his mind or in his heart. How she missed it all those years ago was beyond her. It spoke more to her state of mind and perspective than anything. She made a small humming sound to indicate she understood. She looked at the page in front of her. Her eyes scanned it before she set it aside. She was a fast reader. It was a skill born out of necessity when she was training under Tsunade. She would still be swimming in scrolls if she had not mastered it.

Her jade eyes darted to the blond in front of her. She couldn't see him from behind the back of his chair, it could only mean that he was hunched over. She could practically visualize his posture and expression. Her lips tugged into a frown. He would develop a hunchback before the age of forty-five if he kept that up. She said nothing. Her eyes returned to the text.

A comfortable silence settled over them. It came from years of practice and habit. Even though of late, the amount of time they spent together was minimal at best and sporadic at worst they had years of history to fall back on. It was as if no time had passed since their Team Seven days.

But that was simply not true. So much had happened. So much had changed. Now when they did see each other for more than a couple of minutes their conversations revolved around one of two things: their children or the past. That was it. Life had taken hold of both of them. Between the village, their families, and their jobs there was simply not enough time for anything else. Her eyes wandered to the single picture on Naruto's desk, the one of Team Seven.

She looked at their faces. How young were they? How innocent? The faces in the photograph had no idea just what was coming their way. Her eyes focused on the young pink-haired girl in the picture. That version of her thought she knew everything. That she was so mature and knew what she wanted. And she had great conviction. The older Sakura got the less and less convinced she became. That Sakura saw the world in black and white. Who she was now, simply knew better. There was so much gray.

"Sasuke-kun wants another baby." He did not have to turn for her to see his reaction. He was now sitting ramrod straight in his chair, he had perfect posture and the scratching of his pen had momentarily subsided. He was easy. Easy to read, easy to understand, and easy to talk to. How did she miss this?

"How do you feel about that?" His pen was moving across the sheet again. A wry smile tugged at her lips.

She closed her eyes and let herself picture the scene again. It was a beautiful day outside. The sunlight streamed through the window and a light breeze entered the room. The smells of breakfast cooking surrounded her. The eggs along with the bacon sizzled in the cast iron skillet on the stove. The toast had just popped up from the toaster. She grabbed it and put it on a plate. The bacon and eggs joined it. She lowered it onto a place setting. The sounds of a newspaper folding registered in her ears. An arm reached out and curled around her hips, holding her in place.

There were happy voices talking in not-so-quiet tones. Definitely not indoor voices. Normally that should have annoyed her. But dream Sakura smiled. She did not yell at them to speak softer or not to make everything a competition. Instead, she leaned against the shoulder of the arm and took everything in. A head with yellow hair and green eyes listened with an amused expression on his face as a girl with pink hair and blue eyes spoke in a quick, loud, and very animated fashion. Her eyes were as wide as her arms as she described the bear she had seen in the zoo yesterday with her father. She made growling sounds as she stood on her chair to emphasize just how big it was. There was another round of laughter.

She was a pink-haired mini version of her father. They had the same face. The same eyes. The same temperament. She was a ball of energy and Sakura's Mom Radar told her that the little girl was trouble. Plain and simple. The girl was a handful. Maybe even two. She watched on as the scene unfolded.

The green-eyed blond grabbed the toast from his father's plate and made to run out the window all the while his sister cheered him on with a big grin across her face. Sakura readied herself to yell after him but the arm around her stopped her. She looked at the blue eyes that matched the girl, her daughter's, and her anger melted. The pair watched their son become nothing but a speck in the distance. The yellow was swallowed by the colors of Konoha.

She brought her hand to rest against her bulging belly. She had to be crazy to be willing to do this all over again. But one look in his eyes and she knew that she would not have it any other way. It was chaotic, it was loud and she loved every minute of it. Her life was vibrant, busy, and messy but oh-so fun. There was so much joy, so much laughter that her heart was full to the brim. She looked into the eyes of her husband, his whiskers stuck out against his tan face. A warmth flooded her. This was her life. She was happy. She was ecstatic.

She was ashamed to admit, even just to herself, that when the dream cut out and she awoke there were tears. The realization hit her. It had been nothing but a dream. It was what could have been and not what was. It broke her heart that she felt that way. She loved her daughter. Sadara was everything she could ask for and so much more. Being her mother was one of the greatest joys in her life. Sadara was her life, her world. So why did the dream with the two kids who she did not even know leave her feeling so hollow? So gutted? Why did the dream kids feel as real as the one who was made out of flesh and blood?

It was a beautiful dream but that was all it was: an illusion. Something that could never be. It was something she could never speak of to anyone else. It was a secret for her to carry. While she knew she could not control her dreams, it was still hard to admit the feelings it had brought to the surface. It had an impact on her when it should not have. She was mourning something that did not exist. The whole thing was ridiculous and yet at the same time she could not help but how she felt.

Sakura sighed. She put into words for the first time what she thought. Not even Sasuke knew.

"I can't do it again. I can't raise a baby alone, again." Having another child now would mean everything in her life would take a backseat. Her job at the hospital, her time with her daughter, and her life. Being responsible for the emotional labor of raising, and parenting another child by herself was not something she wanted to take on. She had not known how difficult the road would be as a single mother when she had Sadara. She was under no disillusions now. She knew exactly how hard it would be. It would be even harder now. She was older.

"You must think I'm incredibly selfish." She moved the sheet to the 'rejected' pile.

She heard Naruto sigh deeply. She looked up. She was surprised to see his face and not the back of his chair. He must have turned around at some point when she was deep in thought.

"I really don't have a leg to stand on. I'm barely home. I don't spend as much time with the kids as I should." The honesty about him made the pang in her heart grow a fraction. "And then I overcompensate. I let them get away with pretty much anything out of guilt."

Sakura ran a hand through her pink hair. It was starting to get longer than she liked. She made a note to stop by Ino's for a trim. The blonde did not mind and it gave them time to catch up. His eyes were so open. Like her, he wore his heart on his sleeve.

"Funny how it turned out huh?" She looked away. She heard the sound of his chair squeaking as he turned back around. The pen was back moving against the paper.

Her motives had not been completely altruistic. She never would have brought any of this up. The feelings she spent so long locking away and ignoring. She was ready to die with them. But the conversation she had with Sasuke along with the dream sent her over the edge. She wanted to talk to Naruto. She needed to talk to him. He was a good listener. Talking to him always made her feel better. He always made her problems seem smaller. He made her feel less alone.

He was her closest friend. They had been through everything together. He understood her better than she understood herself at times. He was always there for her and continues to be there for her. He was a constant in her life. The only constant in her life since she graduated from the academy.

She did not know when exactly it happened, maybe it was after the Chunin Exams or the war but she had grown accustomed to living without Sasuke. She had come to expect that as the norm, even. It was an anomaly when he was around. They shared a daughter and a home but they had never really shared a life. They coexisted in parallel. It went all the way back to their academy days.

Sakura in her own ways was just as stubborn as her former knucklehead of a teammate. He was obsessed with getting stronger and bringing Sasuke back regardless of the personal cost. She had obsessed and clung to the idea that she loved Sasuke. And she did, and she does. But never once did she ever consider what life with him would look like. How lonely it would be. How much of herself she lost along the way to gain him. How she had to beg or practically be dying to receive any form of attention or affection from him. She never considered an alternative.

She never once thought of what it would be like being with someone to whom she had grown accustomed to being there. Someone who supported her dreams. Someone who listened to her fears. Someone she could voice her insecurities to without fear of judgment. Someone who showed her time and time again that he would move mountains just to see her happy. Someone who appreciated her for who she was at every stage of her life. Someone who encouraged her and built her up. Someone who would never let go of her hand no matter what circumstances came their way. She had been too close. She missed it all. She lost perspective. She was so focused on the one that left that she missed the one that was still there.

She was his light. She brought happiness and joy to his world. He was content. Maybe even happier than he could have ever imagined given his tragic childhood. And it was all because of her. She kept the darkness out. But it did not come without cost. Another thing she had to bear alone.

Being a mother herself she now finally understood why her own mother was so against her marrying Sasuke. Her mother saw the pain and anguish the Uchiha put her through during her childhood and young adulthood. She saw firsthand how many times he broke her heart. She had been there to help Sakura pick up the pieces only to start all over again. It was inevitable. He always managed to break her heart whether he knew it or not.

They were okay now but maybe love is not enough. Maybe love was the bare minimum when deciding on building a life together. She loved him but she did not love the way he was never around. She did not love the way she had to raise her daughter on her own. She did not love the way she had to essentially pester him and wear him down enough to consider her something more than a teammate. She did not love the way that she had to settle for scraps when it came to his affection.

More importantly, she did not love the example she was setting for Sadara. The way Sasuke treats her is not what she wants for her daughter. Sakura did not think she could handle witnessing what her mother did with her. She wanted her daughter to be with someone who was open with his intentions. Someone who saw her as an equal, a partner. Someone who communicated with her. Someone who was not afraid to tell her that he loved her daily. Both verbally and through action. She wanted so much more for her daughter. She deserved so much better. In her heart of hearts, Sakura hoped that Sadara did not make the same choice that she did. She tried her best to cover for the lack of intimacy and closeness when she asked. She talked about their connection of feelings and intangibles. It had been enough for her daughter. But maybe in convincing her, she had become less convinced herself.

Should it be this hard?

While Sasuke may not be a good partner. He was a good father. She was convinced that he thought Sarada hung the moon. He adored their little girl and Sarada him. It had been rocky in the beginning dodging the questions but now they were on solid ground. They had a great relationship and for that, Sakura was beyond thankful. He did not shy away from letting her know that he loved her and he protected her at all costs. She brought out a side of Sasuke that Sakura had never seen before. That was enough for her. It had to be enough. There were no other options.

Sakura rubbed her forehead. It was no one's fault. She had made her choice and she was going to live with the consequences, good or bad. She got up and walked to the front of Naruto's desk.

"These need signatures." She handed the first section of the stack to him. He took them and signed them without a second glance. Her heart lurched. He really did trust her judgment even if she didn't always.

"These I felt could go either way so you should probably take a look at them." She handed him three documents. His eyes darted from side to side. He grabbed two and signed them before he moved the other to the reject pile.

"These had mistakes that need to be corrected before they are resubmitted." She handed a third of the remaining pile to him. He set them aside on his desk. "And these are no good." He added them to the reject pile on his desk. He wordlessly handed her half of the remaining stack again.

She took it and reoccupied her perch. The sun was setting. The pinks, oranges, and yellows of the sky blended to create a breathtaking backdrop. The lighting in the room had dimmed some. Everything was cast in a warm glow. If they hurried through the remainder of the paperwork he could just make it in time. She squared her shoulders and busied herself with the task.

Simply being in the room with him made her feel marginally better. The tightness was not as pronounced. It was not at the forefront of her mind. She did not feel as anxious either. Something about her former teammate was reassuring even when he was not actively doing anything. It was just his presence. The way he made her feel. She trusted him. He would not hurt her. Their friendship had survived so much.

They continued to work in silence as the clock on the wall ticked away the seconds. She turned her head to the side, there was a popping sound as she did so. There was a time she was not sure who she would save if it came down to Sasuke or Naruto. There was no such doubt in her now. She knew her answer. She knew now what the right answer was all along.

She walked over the papers to him and wordlessly put them in the appropriate piles. He signed the documents that needed his attention and scanned the maybes. He stretched his arms in the air and yawned loudly. He rubbed his eyes. They sparkled.

"Thanks to you Sakura-chan I can just catch the tail end of dinner." He got up to his feet. His expression turned contemplative. "You're welcome to join us. Hinata always makes way too much."

"I have leftovers in the fridge." She lied. While she had made peace with her decisions there was only so much her heart could take. There was no denying it. Naruto was happy it was written across every fiber of his being. She did not miss the way he perked up at the thought of going home to his beautiful family. She was happy for him. Truly.

"If you're sure?" He asked her as he slung his jacket over his shoulders.

"I'm sure." She closed her eyes and smiled at him. Hiding the pain in them. Her chest grew tighter.

"Goodnight Sakura-chan. Thanks again for your help. You're a real lifesaver!" He looked over his shoulder as he ran out the door. The sound of his voice masked the sound of her breaking heart.

For years Naruto watched as she trampled his heart, his feelings, for another. He dealt with it with a smile on his face. He hid his pain from her. He wanted her to be happy. He let her go even if it broke him into a million pieces. He wanted her happy even if that meant it was with someone else. She supposed it was her penance for the pain she caused Naruto. She would watch from afar as Naruto loved someone else. It was her turn. She finally understood what he must have felt all those years. What she put him through.

For all the lecturing she did on what love is, she was the one to get it so wrong. She had been the blind, oblivious, clueless one, not Naruto. He was with someone who appreciated him. He was with someone who supported him, and who never hurt him. He had gotten it right.

"Anything for you, Naruto." She said into the empty room. A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye and trailed down to her chin.