"There you are," Jack announced as he limped into their bedroom. Lisa was sitting on her side of the bed looking out toward the window at the dark sky. The house was relatively quiet, the dinner dishes cleaned up by now. She hadn't really been looking at anything, but there, looking at absolutely nothing. She'd asked Jack a long time ago why he hadn't always slept on this side of the bed because of the view out the back of the house, and he'd told her he always wanted to be near the door for protection, but right now, she felt like he was not protecting his own self.
With her back to the door, she turned her head and glanced at him walking toward her, grabbing at the tissues she'd discarded on the bed, but not before his eyes had followed her hand to notice them. She gave a slight shake of her head in the attempt that it would shake off her true feelings and miraculously replace it with this mask she'd been wearing the last several days. Lisa heard Jack let out a slight sigh, but she schooled herself as best she could and gestured to him.
"Do you need something?"
"You," he said quietly as he reached the end of the bed and put his hand on the wooden footboard to catch his breath. Lisa studied him for any major signs of pain, knowing he wouldn't tell her anything, and Jack, once he'd caught his breath again, moved around to the side to ease himself down to sit next to her. Lisa resisted helping him at every movement, knowing his thoughts on that, but just wanting to help him because he did need it. Flashbacks of his heart attack over ten years ago continued to go through her head, as well as the major blowup they'd had about her taking care of him back then. Now, as he finally sat down next to her, she could see the toll this was taking on him. He couldn't hold back a slight hiss as he sat, and she turned her head to study him more, waiting until her eyes met his.
"Really?" She finally replied to his comment about needing her, almost needing to look him square in the eye to answer. It hadn't been a comment to address while he struggled across the room. "From what I've seen and been subject to these last few days, you haven't wanted anything to do with me, have argued with everything, were silent in the car when I brought you home, and as I said earlier, only seem to be plotting your escape, so I guess I'm getting mixed signals."
He reached for her hand and took it in his, giving her a sympathetic look as he removed the balled up tissues she had in her hand and placed them on the bed.
"Jack, you almost died," she said, her voice wavering for the first time around him since his accident. He vaguely remembered her arriving in the ER, rushing over from Fairfield, seeing her out of the corner of his eye as the doctors talked to her, and he did remember her kissing him before they took him for scans and all, but otherwise, it had been a blur. In all of that, she'd been strong, business-like with the doctors, and reassuring with him. He couldn't speak for how she'd been in the waiting room with the rest of the family or even at home at night while he was lying in that stupid hospital bed, but this was the first time he was seeing her struggling with emotions. Honestly, he was surprised she'd lasted this long in front of him.
"I know," he said quietly, his worn and tired face looking at hers. "But," he stated, "I didn't."
"Not this time," she said quietly, looking to her lap where he still held her hand in his. "Someday, sometime, though," she choked up as she said it, "you won't be so lucky, and," she looked to him again, her normally bright, sparkling eyes showing their sadness, meeting his gray eyes, "and I'm not ready to deal with that."
He nodded, solemnly, and she continued, "I can't help but think about the inevitable. We're constantly hearing of friends of yours passing away, and while it might not have been from this accident, it just reminds me how precious life is and how quickly things can change."
"I know," he told her again, nodding quietly as he listened.
"To be honest," she said with a deep sigh, "I am trying really hard not to snap at you, not to say much because I know it will just end in an argument. You want to pretend like you're fine, that you are as young as you once were, but we both know it's not true. I have to balance the idea of holding you to some things that are absolutely necessary for your health, like not riding out to meet Gary today, with just knowing you are stubborn and not going to listen to anyone. I'm trying not to hover because you hate that and to be honest, I have tried to stay out of your way most of the day because you would resent me if I did anything but that."
"I'm trying to listen to what the doctor said, what you've said," he gestured with his free hand. Lisa eyed him.
"Jack, you might think you are, but you won't use that cane they sent home, I caught you up trying to hobble around the house, and that isn't even the worst. You drove off today to help Tim, and I know that had to be incredibly painful. Walking to the barn was a struggle for you. I walked with you just the one time today, and I know you went out there before that. It's not us trying to pamper you; it's us wanting to make sure you heal, that your medical state doesn't change, that you don't develop some blood clot or worse."
"I know," he said again, nodding. He gave her a sad smile. "I do know, Lisa, but I'm also not one to just sit on some couch or some hospital bed waiting to die."
"I am, we are," she added, "trying to make sure you live. Asking you to rest at home for awhile is vastly different from calling you some invalid. You broke eight ribs because a horse trampled on you. Jack, we've both slowed down in the last 17 years, even with our age difference. It's bound to happen. I just want you to get well so we have another 17 to do so together."
"Lise, I do appreciate you trying to look after me. I know you're worried, but I also know you've been pretty quiet with me, which is very un-Lisa like," he gave her a small smile. She just listened, and he continued, "Honestly, you snapping at me about walking around the house earlier felt like the Lisa I know. You snapped because you are concerned, and yes, because I did promise you I would rest. You know, though, it worked, you calling me out. I did sit back down to rest."
She huffed, "For all of what, an hour? When I got back from meeting Gary, you'd driven off."
"Yeah, and when I came home, you didn't go off about that. Instead, you ended up agreeing to walk out with me to watch Amy work with Blue and didn't banish me back to the couch. Tell me what's going on, besides what we just discussed."
She let out a long breath and shifted to turn more toward him, looking in his eyes. She pursed her lips and looked down, but looked back up to meet his gaze again before nodding, "I hate the idea that one day I might sit in some hospital and reflect on the last thing I ever said to you on this Earth was an argument. I don't want that, and this has made me stop and think about that. I couldn't live with myself if the last thing I did was snap at you or argued with you about something. I love you too much, and that would just about kill me, you leaving me with an unsettled problem, so I'm trying hard to not do that. When I was in the ER waiting to hear about your prognosis, I had happy memories, that we'd had a nice walk the evening before and had laughed a lot about everything. I can't stand the idea of that not being the case. The entire time I was riding out and back from meeting with Gary, I was kicking myself for snapping at you again, worried I'd come back and find you on the floor. Wasn't much better I'd found you had driven off."
He put both hands on hers and gave her a sad nod, "Lise, I'm really sorry for making you worry so much and for not wanting to live in this bubble, but I am trying to rest. It does hurt a lot. I've told you that. I felt like saving Tim from killing someone today was more important than me just sitting around waiting for broken ribs to heal. I know all of this scared you. It worries me too. I do need you, though, and I need you to tell me what you're feeling even if you think I don't want to hear it. We're going to argue, especially if I'm supposed to be sticking around at least another 17 years," he said with a small smile and wink at her. "This is no life for us if you try to hold your tongue for that long. We'll be fine; we both have strong personalities but at the end of the day, we always find our way, even way back when if it took longer than a day, a month, several months," he sighed. "We do. We find our way, and we get our feelings out. I can tell you now that when the day comes and I breathe my last breath, I will know how much you love me, and I hope you know that too, that I love you with everything I have, even if we are in the middle of some argument. I never want you to hold onto that, not with decades of other great memories of us together."
She nodded, giving him a sad smile again. He squeezed her hand, "Besides, some of the reason I did want to come home, other than hating hospitals, was to be in my own bed, knowing you were beside me at night. That will heal me as much as anything else."
She sighed, shaking her head at him, "Yes, because waking up with my hair in your face, as often the case, heals broken ribs." She rolled her eyes at him, but she patted his hand, "I know what you are trying to say, and thank you. I miss you too, so much."
"Everyone decent in here," Tim called out from the open doorway, walking into the room, almost shielding his eyes. Both Lisa and Jack turned to him, their expressions questionable.
"No, Tim," Jack said with a roll of the eyes at Lisa, "we're preparing for a wild, electrifying night." Lisa quietly chuckled, her body shaking as she did.
Tim's eyes flew open, and he moved his hand, gesturing at the two of them, "That's not even funny. Why would you plant that image? No one wants to see that old man."
"Ehh, well" Lisa shrugged playfully, glancing to Jack and then to Tim. Tim met her gaze and looked horrified at her.
"Okay, changing the topic right now," he told them.
"You're the one who started off with a question about decency like we'd be doing anything in here with the door wide open and Jack with eight broken ribs," Lisa commented to him.
"Fair," Tim nodded and clapped his hands together. "Ahh, Jack, it just hit me about Gary Walker. I'm so sorry. It totally slipped my mind about him, but Amy mentioned something about you, Lisa," he nodded to her, "riding to meet him? She saw you tacking up your horse earlier?"
"I did," Lisa said with a small smile and nod to Jack. "He was going to try and ride up there."
"Oh, come on Jack," Tim sighed. "I've saved your life three times now, even if one was kinda my fault," he grumbled. "You know you can't ride. You shouldn't have driven today either but riding is about the worst thing you can do."'
Jack put his hand up, "I didn't ride up there. My very loving wife convinced me that wasn't the best idea. She handled it."
"You did?" Tim looked to Lisa, wanting to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Yes, I rode up there and handled the deal with Gary."
"Got us a great deal,"Jack said, patting her hand and smiling at Tim.
"Okay, well, good, I mean, I thought you'd already set the price, that this was just the final agreement."
"Oh, I got 10% more," Lisa said, tilting her head as she smiled. Jack nodded in agreement.
"She runs a tight ship," Jack said, reaching to squeeze her shoulder. Tim's eyes widened in surprise.
"Really?" He gestured with his hand. "How did you get 10% more than the agreed upon price? Gary is horrible with trying to talk people down, and he'd never agree to more."
"You underestimate my own negotiation skills," she nodded to Tim.
"True, I suppose you didn't become a multi-millionaire breeding horses without it. Wow, impressive, Lisa, and thanks for taking care of that while I took care of the guy who tried to kill your husband."
"I've dealt with many men like Gary throughout my business career. They see the pretty female-I won't even dignify that with a pretty, young female," she winked at the men, "and they assume they'll be able to talk me into anything."
"Beauty and brains," Jack said, squeezing her hand again.
"Well, that's all I wanted to ask. I'm headed to the loft unless you need something, Jack?"
"No," he shook his head. "I'll be fine. Actually," he glanced at Tim, "you can make sure everyone stops hovering out there. Tell everyone to clear out. Hovering is only making it worse."
"Okay, fine," he nodded, gesturing to Lisa. "If you need any help or he tries to do something else stupid, you come get me."
"She's already threatened to what," he glanced at her, "hog tie me and return me to the hospital if I try anything."
"That's right," she said with a nod, looking then to Tim. "If that is necessary, I'll have you do the hog tying. That's not a skill I have, not needed much in horse breeding."
"Okay," he chuckled and knocked his knuckle on their dresser. "Well, goodnight, and Jack, I'm glad you are home even if you were too stubborn to listen to the doctor and stay."
"Thanks, Tim," he said with a nod. When Tim had stepped out, Jack turned back to Lisa.
"How about we make another deal?" Jack asked her, raising his eyebrows.
Lisa gave him a questionable look but nodded, "I'm willing to consider and negotiate."
He nodded, "I realize I'm dealing with a master negotiator. I will," he pointed to the living room, "go out there and sit on the couch the rest of the evening."
"You will?" Lisa asked, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He nodded, "On the condition you come and sit with me. I have missed sitting with you in the evenings like we do most every evening. I might not be able to hold you as close with my broken ribs, but I'll do my best. Hopefully, Tim ran everyone off to their rooms or anywhere else, and we can sit in some peace and quiet and just enjoy the fire."
She pursed her lips considering the offer and nodded, "One stipulation," and he chuckled, nodding for her to continue, "how about some hot tea for the evening? That works wonders when not feeling well."
"I like that idea and can agree to it," he said, giving her a small smile. "I love you. Don't you ever forget that," and he leaned in to kiss her gently. She took a deep breath and kissed him again too.
"I love you more," she said, her favorite response to him. She stood to help him up, and he reached for and handed her the balled-up tissues.
"Please don't cry. I'm going to get better and stick around for a long time."
"I'll hold you to it," she said with a small smile.