oops, i murked my math teacher

(ok, i didn't want to be a half-god)

(if you aren't one, good for you)

(if you think you're one too, you're fucked)

(the name's perseus jackson)

(i am what the counselors call a problem child, i get expelled every year and cause chaos)

(when i was twelve, i was dragged on a field trip to hell, i mean manhattan)

(by my greek teacher, who is kinda cool)

(this redhead nancy kept throwing sandwich in my hair)

(she knew i couldn't kill her 'cause id get in trouble)

(looking back i should have killed her)

(we went to a museum and saw some old greek shit)

(my math teacher is also here, she's probably a demon from hell, i mean the south)

(she treated nancy like a god)

(pretty sure she's not human)

(nancy wouldn't shut her trap, so i told her to shut the fuck up, but greek teacher heard)

(greek teacher asked me what a picture on a slab meant)

(its zeus eating his wife 'cause his wife was going to give birth to a son who would beat his ass, but he already knocked her up, so she gave birth to a daughter in his head and the kid burst through his skull)

(pause for sounds of disgust from other students)

(and thats athena's origin story)

(nancy asks what's the point in learning this shit?)

(greek teacher asks if i know the answer)

(nope, i got nothing)

(greek teacher says its time for lunch)

(tells me there's nothing more important than learning greek myths)

(doubt lol, plus I'm dumb as fuck)

(weather's been acting wackier than an waving inflatable tube man)

(i miss my mom, this school's for fuckups)

(nancy dumps her lunch in my lap)

(i'm so pissed i push her into the fountain without even moving)

(then a wild math teacher appeared)

(im in so much fucking trouble)

(math teacher looks ready to kill me)

(should've killed nancy when i had the chance)

(math teacher used teleport)

(i follow her into the museum)

(she's in the gallery, hating on a picture of the gods)

(asks if me i thought i could get away with it)

(please be more specific, was it the candy stash or the stolen essay)

(she animorphs into a demon, oh shit, i'm 'bout to die)

(greek teacher used teleport, throws me a sword)

(i grab the sword and commit demonicide)

(sword disappears, what just happened, i'm probably high on shrooms)

(time to go back outside)

(nancy says mrs. kerr will beat my ass)

(who's mrs. kerr, we have no teacher named that)

(ask greek teacher where math teacher is )

(greek teacher tells me she was never real)