After Sasuke left Konoha, he never went back. He scrubbed his hands clean of his bittersweet hometown, the place where his most carefree and heart-wrenching moments occurred. It was only now, ten years later, that memories of a girl brought him back.
He wanted to know if she'd become a doctor like she had always wanted—if she was married. He wanted to see what she looked like after all these years and if she was still the apple of the town's eye.
Sasuke had grown up in a small town, and he'd been surrounded by the same group of people until he was eighteen. He'd known Sakura and Naruto since before he could remember. They had known him before he lost his family when he was an innocent, playful little kid. They'd known him when he was sullen and empty inside. They'd known him when he was selfish and manipulative—probably how they still thought of him since he'd left a decade ago.
He knew he had broken her heart, even if he hadn't been there to see it. He left after turning eighteen, the moment he had access to his inheritance, and he never told them where he was going. Or that he was going at all. Sasuke figured a clean break would be better. If he had told them he was planning to leave, they might have tried to stop him—and it might have worked.
Sasuke had driven for hours, and he had only just passed by the first parts of the city he recognized as home. He marveled at how similar it was after ten years. It had always been picturesque in the fall. Even in the dark, Sasuke could see orange, yellow, and red leaves covering the ground. He knew when he opened his car door and breathed in the early October air, it would smell faintly of smoke and earth. Konoha was everything he'd loved and everything he'd lost.
He drove by an illuminated Game Stop sign—the exact one he had always begged Itachi to take him to as a child. A lump formed in his throat, and he cursed his sentimentality. He couldn't get choked up over memories of his PS2.
He wondered if the AMC movie theater with the reclining leather seats (half of which were usually broken) was still down the street. The theater where he'd seen countless movies with Naruto and Sakura. He remembered the smug feeling he'd had as a teen when he dipped his hand under the sweatshirt bundled in Sakura's lap and heard her breath hitch as he rubbed light circles up her inner thigh during the movie. He'd teased her, and he'd watched her bite her lip in frustration and shift in her seat. She had always made him want her at the most inconvenient times.
Naruto had never known there was anything going on. Not in the theater and not during the two years of clandestine encounters they'd shared toward the end of high school. No one had known. He always wondered if she ever told anyone after he left.
Sasuke pulled into the sparsely occupied parking lot at the Marriott. It was the nicer of the two hotels in Konoha, but it wasn't what he had become accustomed to. After giving his car to the valet and checking in, he brought his minimal luggage to a small room with a king-sized bed. He would need a good night's rest for everything he hoped to accomplish tomorrow. He propped a pillow behind him and laid on his back in the dark room, staring at the hideous popcorn ceiling.
His thoughts turned back to Sakura—and Naruto. They'd been his whole life growing up, especially after his family was killed. His best memories with them were of simpler times. They'd climbed fruit trees together in his parent's backyard. They rode their bikes to their classmates' houses and pretended they were ninjas on life-or-death missions. After Sasuke lost his parents and brother, Sakura and Naruto had always tried to be there for him emotionally. As much as he had wanted to give in and open up, he'd been too prideful in the years following their loss. They had stuck by his side in junior high when he was a complete and utter jackass.
Sakura had always tried to support him in a way he didn't want her. She'd tell him he could talk to her and ask him if he was okay every time a frown touched his face. She wanted to help him so badly.
Somehow though, her persistence had paid off. Before he left Konoha, she'd known more of his unsightly soul than he'd intended.
The first time he kissed her was was the same night they lost their virginities. It had been entirely unplanned. The moment he touched her, he couldn't stop, and he knew she couldn't either. He remembered the overwhelming attraction and a reticence to control himself he'd never experienced.
It had been early their junior year, and he hadn't been doing well. He was depressed and was withdrawing into himself more than ever. He'd avoided Naruto and Sakura all week and was attempting to hide in the dark back corner of his backyard. With the night skies and thick tree cover around the small creek, he had thought he'd been well hidden. Still, Sakura had known where to find him.
She'd been quiet. She sat next to him on the back of the rocky creek without making a sound. She didn't attempt to say anything for a few minutes, allowing the trickle of water to fill the silence. Maybe she hoped he'd speak first, but of course he didn't.
"Sasuke," she tried later, after several minutes. Her voice had been soft and full of emotion. She had looked at him with big glassy eyes full of concern. "What's going on?"
He'd shrugged, hoping she'd give up soon but knowing she wouldn't. Not until he finally snapped and yelled at her.
"You know you can talk to me. About anything." Sasuke shrugged again, and when he still wouldn't meet her gaze, she crawled over from her spot next to him right in front of him. Sitting on her knees, she grabbed his hand in both of hers and brought it to her heart. "How can I help?" she asked quietly. He was forced to look into her worried green eyes. He usually hated it when she got too involved in his life. He had lashed out at her for it on more than one occasion. This time though, he was feeling numb. He was too empty for anger.
"I'll be okay, Sakura," he'd said, trying to lift one side of his mouth into a half-hearted smile. He watched her face fall, looking more worried than before. Before he knew what was happening, she was crawling closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her smooth legs fall to either side of his hips as she hugged him tightly.
Sasuke was shocked. He didn't hug her back, but he didn't push her off his lap. When she leaned back enough to meet his gaze, he saw so much sadness and desperation in her eyes.
"Let me help," she whispered, her hand, still resting on his shoulders, grazed his neck and moved to his face. She held his cheekbones delicately. "I want to help."
Sasuke inhaled deeply, becoming panicked at the way his body was reacting. His heart was racing, and his thoughts were becoming slow and cloudy with her weight on his lap.
"There's nothing you can do," he said, the words coming out rough to his own ears.
He remembered that first time he felt the numbness in his gut turn to an electric current when her lips grazed the skin under his ear. "I can make you feel good," she murmured in his ear. Her face flushed pink when she moved back to gauge his reaction.
He wasn't sure who moved first or faster. Her weight, her words, the way she smelled all made him lose control as his lips crashed into hers.
Their first time together started as a frenzied first kiss. Sasuke had never meant for it to become so much more than that. The kiss had been so desperate, and he'd pulled her thighs as close as he could, her flowy little skirt billowing over his lap. She'd tugged on his hair, his neck, his chin, trying to get closer to him, but it was impossible. He just as frantically wrapped his hands around her hips, waist, and chest. When she rocked against him, he lost himself. The first time he heard her sweet little moan, he was desperate for her.
The few months after their first time had been just like that. Every encounter had been urgent, secretive, and full of blinding need.
Sasuke preferred it that way. He could handle passion and lust. It was when things slowed down and became gentle that he panicked. Even though she was one of his best friends, he had hoped he could keep things purely physical.
Sakura hadn't demanded sweet, doting kisses or affectionate words. She knew Sasuke didn't want that. She would give him her body and ask for nothing in return. Still, they couldn't stop the torrent of emotions that inevitably came with their physical relationship.
Sasuke struggled to understand his feelings. They'd started with a flicker of pride. The pride of knowing he could make her come undone. It was the pride he felt when they were around their friends knowing he knew parts of her no one else did. He knew what it was to hear her sweet little gasps and moans. He knew what it was to hear her sob his name. He knew the spots she liked touched, the things that turned her on—the words, the sounds, the desperate grasps.
At some point, that pride must have turned to possessiveness. It appeared at the worst of times—his most misplaced emotion. When she and Naruto laughed at inside jokes, he became agitated in a way he never had before. When she dressed up for parties and dances, part of him wanted everyone to know she was his. He wanted to punch every jerk who dared to flirt with her or ask for a dance. Sakura usually said no, but there had been one time at homecoming when she had given in and danced with Rock Lee. Sasuke had cornered her at the homecoming after party had pulled her into a small powder room.
"Why did you say yes?!" he scowled at a shocked-looking Sakura.
Sakura chewed on her rosy bottom lip nervously and sighed.
"It was just a friendly dance. I didn't want to disappoint him."
"He clearly likes you, Sakura. You're only leading him on," Sasuke said sharply, giving her a stern look.
"You would know something about that, wouldn't you?" Sakura muttered quietly, crossing her arms.
New anger welled up in Sasuke's chest.
"I've never promised you anything, Sakura. I've never led you on." He glared down at her and watched her become more and more defiant.
"You're giving me mixed signals right now!" She yelled, trying to keep her voice low so that no one could hear them over the noise of the party.
"How's that?" Sasuke asked scathingly.
"You want to have sex with me in secret and then pretend like we're nothing in public. You clearly don't want a relationship! Why shouldn't I be able to dance with a friend? You can't be jealous when you don't even want me!"
Sasuke saw tears gathering at the rims of Sakura's eyes and sighed. He didn't know what to say. She was right. He knew how she felt about him, and he was the limiting factor in their 'relationship.'
Guild gnawed at him when her first tear fell, and she wiped it away hastily. He couldn't help the way her tears made his chest tighten. He hadn't meant to make her cry.
"I—I can't give you what you want," he half whispered, turning his head away from her. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell her he wanted more too, but he couldn't. He was too arrogant. Too selfish. Too scared and too broken.
Sakura looked up at him, her expression changing. There was kindness where there had been anger before, "It's okay, Sasuke. Just give me what you can." She murmured, looking up at him.
Sasuke had been overwhelmed with guilt when she snuck out of the bathroom a few minutes before him after he'd taken her against the marble countertop. He'd tried to show her he cared in the only way he knew how. He kissed deeply and spent as much time making her feel good as he could. Still, he knew he was scum. She deserved so much more than he was or could ever be, yet he held her back from being with other guys.
By the time their senior year came around, Sasuke knew he and Sakura were headed for disaster. Their friendship and passion collided and turned into an intimacy that left him breathless, and he had a hard time acting like they were just friends. She was so much more to him than that. He had fallen so accidentally, deeply in love with her, he was terrified. Her laugh, her lips, her smiles, the looks she flashed him when no one else was looking.
Sasuke allowed himself to enjoy his time with her, but he forced himself to stayed guarded. He'd inadvertently fallen for her, but he couldn't let her know. She'd be heartbroken if he returned her affections and then left. It was better if she thought her feelings were one-sided and he only wanted a physical relationship.
So when Sasuke found himself smiling because she smiled, when he wanted to kiss the top of her head, when he wanted to wrap his arms around her and show everyone she was his; he stopped himself.
Sasuke had always planned to leave Konoha when he graduated high school. It was too painful to stay. Every inch was covered in memories with his family. Hell, every time he went to the grocery store, he was hit with a wave of nostalgia. He remembered his mother scolding him for using the grocery cart like a scooter. He remembered how she'd refuse to buy sugary cereal except for the one box of Count Chocula because his father loved it.
Whether he was walking through his high school, the local neighborhoods or driving through the shitty chain restaurants in the suburbs, Konoha was riddled with bittersweet memories. He had always known he had to get out.
Sakura hadn't known it was their last night together. He knew he couldn't say goodbye. Instead, Sasuke had done something he hadn't done before. He held her in his arms as she fell asleep. When he felt her breathing become steady and deep, he traced her lips gently with his thumb and chastely kissed the spots he'd never kissed before—places that were so intimate, yet innocent.
He left her sleeping happily, knowing she'd hate him when she finally realized he'd left.
Sasuke woke early the next morning. He showered and scoped out the continental breakfast by the hotel lobby, opting for a banana and a shitty strawberry yogurt that was disgustingly sweet.
Instead of driving to the residential part of Konoha, Sasuke walked. The first mile or so wasn't a great area to walk. It was highly trafficked, with faded crosswalks and crumbling sidewalks.
He didn't know where he'd find Sakura. He didn't know where she or Naruto lived now. He hoped that if he went to some of the places they'd used to frequent in town, he'd run into someone who could give him answers.
That was how he found himself clinging to a mug of black coffee in Ichiraku Café, hoping someone he once knew would stumble in. There had been a time when Naruto would come there multiple times a day, despite the fact that caffeine was the last thing that idiot needed.
It was a Sunday, so Sasuke worried many of his old acquaintances would be at home. There was a crowd of people coming for brunch, but so far, he hadn't recognized anyone. It wasn't until close to 11:00 am that a familiar blond man walked into the shop to stand in line. Sasuke almost choked on his coffee when he realized he wasn't alone. Naruto turned to face a dark-haired woman holding a sleeping baby close to her chest. He gently rested his hand on the small of her back and kissed the top of the tiny infant's head while they waited.
Sasuke was openly gaping when the new father caught his gaze. He saw the look of shock flash through his blue eyes as they widened in surprise. Sasuke's heart quickened, having no clue how his old friend would react. It would make sense for him to be angry. Instead, he saw a wide grin spread over Naruto's face, and he broke from the line, rushing for his table.
AN: Thank you for reading. I've been spending most of my writing time on my other story the Chronicles of Konoha Academy, but I wanted to take a quick break to write something short. Please let me know what you thought of the first chapter. This will be a quick story, but there will be one more.
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