The Introvert's Guide to the Infinity Crisis
…
Chapter 3: The Cat's Cradle
"In here. Make yourself at home," Felicia told me as we entered her warehouse complex/hideout. I remembered that she had a warehouse in her first ever solo series where she planned her heists with her two henchmen, or rather, her guys, Boris and Bruno. Almost immediately, a swarm of cats came sauntering out to greet us, all meowing expectantly.
Whilst I wouldn't call myself a cat person, I liked cats, but I had always felt that pets were too much responsibility for me to handle. But never let it be said that I wouldn't pet a cat if given the chance to.
I opted to watch as Felicia petted each of the cats that swarmed around her feet, all vying for attention. Some of the felines looked at me warily and I stared back at them with equal wariness.
"Not fond of cats?" I looked up at Felicia who was now holding one of her fur babies in her arms.
"I like cats," I assured her. "Pets are simply too much work for me," I then said.
"Oh?" Felicia raised a groomed eyebrow at me as she stared questioningly. "Not a fan of being responsible for others?" she asked lightly.
"I live alone," I replied. "I learnt to live alone for a long time. Maybe I just got too used to it, so the idea of having something in my personal space if foreign to me," I explained.
"Hmm." Felicia looked at me for a long moment before asking, "Would you to hold one of them?"
"Umm, sure?" The platinum haired beauty then gently passed the cat currently in her arms to me. I fumbled for a moment, my grasp on the animal awkward until I found my balance with it. I stood still for a moment for the cat to get used to me; after a moment, it started to purr steadily obviously relaxed and content in my arms. Sensing this, the cats that surrounded Black Cat's feet wandered over to me. They all looked up at me curiously, meowing at me in greeting. I slowly knelt down and the felines started put their paws on me, pleased that I was making the effort to please them.
"Well, well, a cat whisperer? Never would've guessed after what you said before," Felicia tittered in amusement.
"Yeah," I muttered as a cat climbed onto my shoulders and sat around my neck. "Could you help?" I asked looking at Black Cat who giggled in amusement at the sight of me being covered in furry bodies.
"Aww, this is too cute," she cooed and I sighed in exasperation. "Oh, alright, grumpypants," she relented as she sauntered over to the small kitchen and opened a cupboard. Hearing the noise of the cupboard opening, nearly all the cats climbed off me and made for the kitchen where Felicia was putting out some bowls and filling them with cat food. I reluctantly let the cat in arms down and it scampered off to join its brethren. I stood up and sighed as I now noticed that I was practically covered in cat hair.
"So, care for a drink?" Felicia asked me after she had fed her pets and took off her mask. "Beer? Wine? Coffee? Tea?" she offered.
"Do you have Coke or Pepsi?" I asked hesitantly. Felicia raised an eyebrow but smiled and nodded as she pulled out a 2-litre bottle of Coke from the fridge, brought out a drinking glass and poured me a generous amount of the beverage.
"Not a drinker?" the thief asked me conversationally.
"Two bad experiences put me off," I said in explanation. "Don't touch the stuff otherwise. Prefer a cold glass of Coke or Pepsi to beer or wine," I added.
"Each to their own," Felicia said demurely as she brought out a bottle of red wine and poured herself a glass of the fermented grape juice. After taking a sip, Felicia hummed pleasantly, looking at me and said, "So, tell me about yourself."
"Not much to tell. Just an average ordinary guy that wants to be left alone," I replied as I took a sip of the cold soda drink in my glass. "Didn't ask to end up in a world where there are only women left," I then stated.
"Really? Most guys in your position would be jumping for joy at being in a situation like this," Felicia joked.
"I'm not most guys," I stated firmly. "On the surface this seems like every red-blooded man's fantasy: a world of women all to himself, but he wouldn't see the downside to it."
"And what would be the downside to something like this?" Felicia inquired as she took another sip of her wine, looking at me curiously.
"An entire world of only, and I emphasize the word, only women," I said slowly and calmly. "How many would there be in the world, roughly? 1 billion? 2 billion? Most of whom would be wanting me for whatever they desire," I described. "Not to mention whatever is left of the governments that haven't fallen apart in the beginning," I added. I could see the gears turning in Black Cat's head as she processed what I said to her about the situation. I continued on.
"Not to mention there are the likes of the Justice League, the Avengers, the X-Men, including the female halves of their enemies, some of whom would see this as an opportunity to take over and remake society in their image," I pontificated.
"Oh…" Felicia seemed to realise the gravity of the mess the world was in now. "And they'd certainly want you," she mumbled.
"Mhm," I confirmed with a grunt. "Not to mention this Infinity Dial," I said as I brought the device out from my pocket. "Which I may add is only activated by sexual energy, so you can guess what some may do," I added grimly.
"And you don't want to," Felicia said rather than asked.
"It's not that I don't want to," I corrected her. "I just… don't think I would be any good at it,"I said awkwardly.
"What makes you think you wouldn't be any good at sex?" Felicia asked me.
I sighed, taking a sip of my drink before answering. "I know enough of the science behind sex, it's purpose and the recreational side of it, but I've never actually done it before and not for lack of trying," I stated.
"Bad experiences?" Felicia looked at me with sympathy in her green eyes.
"Having a crush on some girls in school, only for them to laugh in my face and be left humiliated," I said with bitter anger. "And that aside, I generally don't like people," I muttered darkly.
"What happened to make you this way?" Felicia asked me gently. "What terrible wrong was done to you to make you dislike people?"
"I didn't dislike people at first, but they sure didn't like me very much," I replied softly. "I find people to be… difficult, mercurial, hard to understand," I said after a moment of thought to describe my feelings. "Most people didn't understand me and kept trying to change me to fit their norms." I shook my head as some painful memories surfaced in the waters of my cognition. "If anything, I decided that most people weren't worth my time or effort. I'd rather be left alone," I added.
"Do you really mean that?" Felicia asked me softly as her expression became sad. "Do you truly feel like you'd better off without people in your life?" she said.
"Not entirely. Some people I'd met didn't try to change me, they just let me be who I am," I replied. "But most others just don't understand me," I said bitterly. I sighed as I finished off my drink before pouring myself another glass.
"You poor guy," Felicia mumbled before she took a sip of her wine. "Would you want me as a friend?" she asked sincerely.
"Maybe?" I offered uncertainly.
"Well, let's start over," Felicia said with a warm smile on her face. "Felicia Hardy, otherwise known as the Black Cat, super-thief extraordinaire." She stuck her hand out to shake.
I hesitated for a moment before shaking hands with Felicia. "Nice to meet you. I'd tell you my name, but I can't exactly remember it," I said sheepishly.
"Really? Do you have amnesia of some kind?" Felicia asked me kindly.
"Maybe?" I replied uncertainly. "I try to say my name, but I can't say it out. Not even if I force myself to," I explained.
"Maybe if you wrote it down, you might remember it," Felicia suggested as she brought out a notepad and pen, handing them to me.
I then wracked my brain to try and write my name. All I got were some scribbles and random shapes, before I managed to write the word Ni and then Mar. I was panting in exertion.
"You okay?" Felicia asked. "Are you hurt?"
"It was exhausting to try and write my name," I replied through my pants of exhaustion. "But that's all I can remember of my name," I said as I looked at the two words.
"Ni, Mar," Felicia read aloud. "Well, it's a start. We can work out what your actual name is later," she told me. "So, you said the Infinity Dial is charged by sexual energy, right?" I nodded at this. "Are you certain about that?" the cat thief asked me.
"It's what Amanda Waller said," I replied. "If I am sexually stimulated, the Dial can be charged up and used," I then said.
"And what can it do?" Felicia quizzed me.
"Well, when I used it the first time, it transformed me into a knight of some kind," I said as I remembered the first transformation. "The H-Dial which the Infinity Dial is based on was able to transform its bearer into various superheroes, among other things," I added as I remembered the details of the H-Dial.
"Okay, but you transformed into a knight, not a superhero," Felicia reminded me. "Why would it transform you into a knight of the round table?" she asked me.
"I don't know if I'm being perfectly honest," I said truthfully. "If I could take this dial apart, maybe I could poke around in its guts and figure out how to activate it without needing sexual energy," I theorised.
Felicia looked at me thoughtfully before saying, "Maybe we should try doing it the way its supposed to," she said slowly. "You said you've never been kissed at all, right?" she asked.
"Well, my mother doesn't count if that's what you mean," I said primly.
"Well, would you let me have the honour of being your first kiss?" Felicia offered sweetly.
"Uhh…" I sat there like a stunned mullet, trying to process what I was being offered. What kind of idiot wouldn't want to have their first kiss with someone as beautiful as Black Cat herself? Particularly when she was making the offer to? "Sure?" I said to her feeling very unsure of myself.
"Okay, let's go somewhere a little more conducive for this," Felicia rose from her chair and took me by the hand and led me over to a small sitting room where some comfortable couches lay. We sat down on the sofa with Felicia sitting closely to me so that our bodies were touching.
"Alright, do you want to take this slowly? Or jump right into it?" she then asked professionally.
"I've never done this before," I said in response to her query.
"Slow it is." Felicia suddenly straddled me, wrapping herself around me like one of her cats. I could smell her perfume which soft and subtle to the nose. Her hands rubbed my arms and shoulders, going down to rub the knots of my back. "You can touch me back if you want," she offered.
Like the nervous virgin I was, I clumsily grasped her curvy hips. Felicia giggled at seeing how awkward I was with her. "It's okay," she reassured me. "Touch me all over," she whispered to me sensually and gently. Slowly, I started to run my hands up and down Felicia's hips and waist, feeling the tight fabric of her costume. She hummed pleasantly, obviously not displeased with how I was doing. She then buried her face in the crook of my neck and I gave a startled jump in my seat as I felt her soft lips kiss the pulse point of my neck.
"You okay?" she asked me as she moved her head away from my neck to look me in the eyes.
"No-one's done that to me before," I said to her meekly.
"Good." Felicia resumed kissing my neck softly. My heart went all fluttery and butterflies danced in my tummy as I processed that Felicia Hardy was kissing my neck. I then felt her teeth scrape and nibble the flesh of my neck which made me squirm in my seat. This only served to amuse her as she stopped to look at me and ask, "Never had that done to you as well, huh?"
I shook my head in response, not trusting myself to speak. Felicia smiled that Cheshire grin as she started to press soft delicate kisses to my neck and jaw. There were scant moments where she travelled dangerously close to my mouth before skirting away to continue kissing my jaw. I was panting like I was sprinting a hundred-mile marathon and I could feel my manhood grow hard and erect in my pants.
Then after a few more kisses to my neck, Felicia claimed my lips in hers. I gave a girlish moan as I melted into the kiss, almost sagging into Felicia who softly and sweetly kissed my lips. The kiss was slow and sensual as our lips pressed into each other and moulded to the other's shape. My manhood was throbbing painfully and I felt like it was going to burst like a fire hydrant. Then Felicia slowly pushed her tongue into my virgin mouth; the taste of her soft silky tongue was too much. I tensed up and gave a shuddering groan as I realised that I had jazzed in my pants from Felicia making out with me. I pulled away reluctantly and looked at her in shame.
"Did I really make you…?" she tried to ask me.
"Yeah…" I mumbled embarrassedly.
"Hey," she kissed me on the lips again. "Don't feel too bad. I am a great kisser after all," she bragged.
"I won't disagree," I said in agreement. I sighed before asking, "Do you have somewhere I can wash up?"
"Yeah, but first thing's first; let's see if we got you charged up enough to use the Dial," Felicia reminded me. I pulled the Infinity Dial from my pocket to the see the Infinity Stone set in it glowing brightly.
Standing to my feet, I hooked my finger in one of the rings of the rotary and turned the dial. It went all the way around and the Infinity Stone flared brightly with crimson light.
"Did it work?" I asked as I looked around.
"It did," Felicia confirmed. "Take a look in the mirror," she ordered me indicating a mirror nearby. I then looked at my reflection and was stunned to see the stranger before me. I was now dressed in plate-mail armour with a Barbute style knight's helmet covering my head. And sheathed over my back was a medieval knight's sword.
"Whoa!" was all I could utter as I looked at myself.
"I'll say," Felicia agreed with me as she moved to stand beside me. "You look like you're ready to slay a dragon like this," she complimented.
"I feel like it too," I replied as I then drew the sword from my back to examine it. The blade was a dark silver-grey colour with the edges being a more silvery white colour to indicate how sharp they were. "But, why did the Dial turn me into a knight?" I wondered aloud.
"Did you ever want to be a knight growing up?" Felicia asked me curiously.
"I did, as a matter of fact," I admitted now that I thought about it. "I was obsessed with knights and dragons when I was a kid; going off on grand adventures, slaying dragons and being hailed a hero throughout the kingdom," I said nostalgically.
"Were you ever interested in rescuing princesses?" Felicia asked me teasingly as she rubbed up against me.
"I was kid. I wasn't interested in girls at the time," I replied. "So, maybe the Dial sensed that I always wanted to be a knight as a kid and turns me into one?" I theorised.
"Maybe," Felicia allowed thoughtfully. "But there might be other transformations the Dial could do," she said.
"Well, I…" Crimson light enveloped me and I reverted back to my normal form. "Hmm, guess it ran out of juice," I remarked.
"Well, we could start kissing again?" Felicia offered seductively.
"Could I wash up first?" I asked nervously as I indicated my pants with a glance. "I could do with some cleaner underwear," I reminded.
"Of course," Felicia said demurely. "Follow me." She then led me to a bathroom and added, "I'll bring you some clean clothes when you're finished. I think Boris or Bruno's clothes might just fit you."
"Thank you," I said to her quietly as I prepared to strip off my clothes while she went off to scrounge up some clean clothing for me.
After I stripped naked, I stepped into the shower bay and turned on the hot water. Steam began to fill the room as I stood under the cascading hot water and washed away the residue of what happened earlier. I thought about it and a blushed heated my cheeks; was I really that much of a virgin that the act of kissing would make me jizz in my pants? I really was hopeless I thought to myself.
On the plus side, I could now say I had my first kiss. Albeit one that was a fictional character back home, but here, she was very much a real person. The thought was a pleasant one that warmed my heart as I scrubbed myself clean and I remembered that Felicia was open to kissing me some more. The thought of more kisses made me erect again and I thought the urge to rub one out.
"Down, boy!" I chided myself and for a moment, I thought to myself that I should switch the hot water for cold to stop my sudden hormonal urges. I was 31 years old, not some horny teenager, I should exercise more control over myself.
I sighed as I continued to bathe under the showerhead and tried not to think about kissing Felicia and possibly doing more than that with her.
TO BE CONTINUED…
A/N: There! Kept you waiting, huh? Sat down to write and this came out. But I'll bet some of you aren't complaining, am I right?
Not much to say about this chapter, but I hope you all liked it.
Be kind to one another,
Angry lil' elf.