"It really is lovely," Jane remarked, looking around herself and taking a sip of fresh milk.
"It is," Richard agreed, though his eyes were fixed, not on the trees and paths and flowers, but on the exquisite face of the lady seated next to him on the wooden bench, which had been placed under a gently waving elm tree. "It is also peaceful."
Her lovely blue eyes turned on him now, and she quirked a blonde eyebrow. "Do you enjoy peace, Colonel Fitzwilliam?"
He stared back with uncertainty because it was an unusual question, and more than that, it seemed she truly wanted to know the answer.
She blushed under his steady regard and said, "I wondered if perhaps your time on the Continent, in an army at war, makes a life here in London rather dull."
His first inclination was to return a light, complimentary answer about how her company would never allow him to be bored...
But she was gazing at him with such a sweet expression, with such gravity in her eyes, that he chose to respond truthfully. "I do find life a trifle dull at times, Miss Bennet. Not here, not now, while I am in the company of my relations and friends, but yes, there are times when I struggle with a certain sense of ennui. That sounds absurd, I know; far better to be here than battling through mud and musket fire."
"It does not sound absurd," Jane replied, "not at all. There is a pleasure – no, perhaps it is not a pleasure, exactly, but a sense of rightness in genuinely accomplishing something, in defending our country against war."
There was a certain melancholy in the lady's words and expression, and the colonel bent a concerned look toward his companion. "Does that mean that you are bored at times as well, Miss Bennet?"
She tilted her head beguilingly, looked out at the glittering surface of the Serpentine, and said, "I do not bore easily, Colonel. I am not unintelligent, I think, but Lizzy is far brighter and quicker than I am. No, it is not boredom, precisely, it is more that..."
She trailed off, blushed, and looked away. "I do apologize, sir, for speaking so freely. I find you very easy to talk to."
Richard Fitzwilliam felt his heart turn over, and he felt a sudden temptation to take the lady's gloved hand in his own. He resisted, of course – was the lady not meant for Darcy's friend Bingley? – but he did say, "I find you very easy to speak to as well. I daresay I understand your feelings at least a little. I am a second son and thus have always been in the shadow of my elder brother, and your sister Miss Elizabeth, while younger, is the heiress in the family."
Jane turned back, smiling gratefully, and said, "I am in Lizzy's shadow now, not that I resent it in the least, but yes, that is what it is like. For many years, as the oldest daughter, I felt a responsibility to marry well for the sake of my family. Now that Lizzy has inherited so much, and I have inherited a little, that is no longer true. I feel rather peculiar about it, to be entirely truthful!"
"Surely it is a far preferable situation?" the colonel said.
"Ye … es, yes, certainly. Longbourn is entailed away from the female line, as you probably know, and before the bequest, we would have been in a precarious position when our father died. Now, Elizabeth can and will support us all if needed. As I said, I am adjusting. But," and here Jane straightened and smiled brightly, "enough about me. Can you tell me about your family estate? Did I hear that it is in Leicestershire?"
/
Half Moon Street
Later
Jane Bennet sat near the crackling fire, staring at the gyrating flames, clad in her nightclothes, with a white lace nightcap on her head and her blond curls cascading freely down her shoulders.
A tap on the door interrupted her reverie, and she called out, "Come in!"
The door opened, and Elizabeth entered the room. Jane forced herself to smile and said, "How are you doing, my dear?"
Elizabeth looked happy, and after dropping onto a nearby seat, said, "Oh, very well indeed. I enjoyed our visit to Hyde Park this morning! It is far more pleasant a locale when there are not hundreds of people wandering to and fro and ruining the view!"
"I enjoyed it as well," Jane said, trying for her usual serene expression and tone.
A moment later, it was obvious that she had failed, because Elizabeth's expression shifted from joyful to suspicious.
"Jane, what is wrong?" she demanded, leaning forward to spear her with a worried glare.
"Nothing," Jane said feebly, and then, at the determination in Elizabeth's eyes, continued, "Everything."
Lizzy furrowed her brow in surprise at this dramatic statement and then leaned forward to pat her sister on the knee. "Tell me, my dear. Tell me what is wrong."
Jane turned slightly to stare at the fire again, and felt her eyes sting with unshed tears.
"Mr. Bingley has not returned," she said and then, at the distress on Elizabeth's face, continued quickly, "and I am not certain that I want him to return."
"You do not want him to return?"
"No ... yes … Elizabeth, I was in love with him back in Hertfordshire, and I was in love with him through this long winter while we were apart, and I still felt strongly attached to him when we were reunited but…" she pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes of tears – angry tears – and said in a shaking tone, "but now he has disappeared again and not returned when he said he would, and I am sick of it, Lizzy! I am sick of being left behind and expected to wait, and I know he is probably tending to Caroline, but why should he? Why is he? If he truly loves me, he would not have left me behind in Hertfordshire, and he would not have left me behind in London without an offer or at least suggesting an official courtship!"
She finished her tirade and felt additional tears welling up to slide down her cheeks, but now her tears were those of sorrow, and yes, embarrassment, because she was known as the calm, collected Bennet daughter, and she ought not to lose control even with Elizabeth.
A smooth, gentle hand clutched her arm, and she turned toward Elizabeth, grateful and startled to see that her sister was looking at her with something that might have been admiration.
"You are angry, Jane, and you have every right to be. Indeed, I would be too under similar circumstances. You do not have to marry Mr. Bingley, even if he offers for you."
"I … know. Indeed, given that you are now rich, and I have a respectable competence, I do not need to marry at all. I was telling Colonel Fitzwilliam today that it is…"
Abruptly, she burst into tears and found herself covering her face with her hands as Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her and held her close.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was a large part of the problem, and she knew it. He was not as handsome as Mr. Bingley, not as tall, and certainly not as rich, but he was a man of action, who had fought against the Corsican tyrant and come home a hero. He would not be manipulated by conniving, jealous sisters or well-meaning, autocratic friends.
She still liked Mr. Bingley, still thought well of him, but he and she were too much alike. They both were too compliant, too easy, even too generous. A year ago, she would have thought that an impossibility, that one could be too generous, but was her former beau not too generous with Miss Bingley? The lady was as spoiled as Lydia because everyone, including her brother, allowed her to have her way.
She realized that she admired Colonel Fitzwilliam very much. She … it was perhaps not yet love, but it was dangerously close. But he needed to wed an heiress, and Elizabeth was the heiress in the family.
/
Billiard Room
Darcy House
That Evening
"You could ask her to marry you," Colonel Fitzwilliam said baldly.
Darcy jerked at this statement, which caused the ball to carom oddly on the billiard table. He turned a reproachful look on his cousin. "No, I cannot, and please do not say such absurd things when I am about to hit the ball."
Richard laughed at this and poured himself another finger of brandy, tossed it down, and lifted one dark eyebrow. "Why not?"
Darcy grimaced and carefully chalked his cue, then set it down on the table and turned to face his closest male relation.
"I am afraid she will refuse me," Darcy said. "Moreover, she has every reason to refuse me. I was rude to her in Hertfordshire…"
"Which you apologized for, correct?"
"I did, but I know that I am not easy in my speech. I am not, I know, particularly likeable. I do not have the ability, which so many others do, of knowing how to please a lady. There are so many other men in London, some of them members of the nobility, who are able to charm a woman in a way that I cannot."
"It appears to me that you and Miss Bennet have had a number of pleasant conversations of late."
"We have," Darcy said fervently. "Oh, we have had such wonderful conversations, Richard! But that does not mean she loves me. It does not even mean that she likes me. I thought back at Netherfield that she was flirting with me and later learned that I could not have been more wrong."
"So you are giving up?" Richard asked in exasperation. "You are not even attempting to win the lady you adore because you feel there is no hope? Perhaps you are wrong this time as well. Perhaps she has learned to care for you in these last weeks."
Darcy grimaced and said, "I … I do hope, but I am afraid to ask for her hand when she may well still harbor some dislike toward me. I feel it is too soon to ask her to marry me when we have only overcome our adversarial relationship this spring. Maybe with more time I will know whether she cares for me in the least, and then I can ask her. That is, if you do not ask her first! Indeed, as much as I appreciate it, I do not understand why you are pushing her toward me and not yourself. She is a lovely lady and a wealthy one. What more could you ask in a wife?"
Richard rolled his eyes and said, "Do you really imagine that I would attempt to win the lady that you adore? Besides," and here the colonel turned away, "I fear that I have started falling in love with another. Indeed, it may already be too late for me."
Darcy spun around in surprise and said, "You have? To whom?"
The other man kept his face toward the fire and his back to his cousin. "You truly do not know?"
Darcy stared at his cousin, his mind flitting back over the last weeks, and then he groaned. "Oh Richard!"
"What else do you think was going to happen?" his cousin said, rather truculently. "Miss Elizabeth is remarkable, of course, but too clever and quick for me. Miss Bennet is a fantastic beauty, but she is also kind and gentle. When I am with her, I feel as if I am home, and yet, I know there is no hope for me, not with Bingley waiting in the wings. And Miss Bennet deserves to marry a man with a fortune, and I have little money to speak of."
Darcy frowned and said, "Bingley has been in Scarborough for more than two weeks with his shrew of a sister, and I received a letter yesterday telling me that he is working to get her settled in and will not be arriving in Town in the near future."
"But surely it would be disingenuous of me to pursue Miss Bennet while her former suitor is not available?" Richard fretted.
Darcy shook his head. "Bingley is a good man, and I am very fond of him. But he consistently puts his sisters' needs and even wants over his own needs, and in this case, the needs of the lady he purports to love. I think you have as much a right to pursue the lady as anyone, but what about her lack of fortune?"
"Miss Bennet remarked that she inherited a small amount from Mrs. Simpson, though I do not know how much," Richard said, and then shook his head. "Two months ago, even a month ago, I would have said that I must marry a woman of fortune, but I feel differently about it now. Is it not worth a little self-sacrifice and economy to marry the perfect woman? And yet, is it fair to her? I do have my allowance from my father, and if I sold out, I would have the sum from my commission. I do not know, Darcy, I truly do not know. I only know that I think for the first time in my life, I am genuinely in love."
/
/
Author Note: Thanks for reading and commenting! On Oct 24 I will take this story down to prepare for publishing (per Amazon rules), so make sure you keep up! There will be a total of 41 chapters. The published version will various additions, corrections, tweaks and improvements ... and 3 chapters of epilogue so we can see how our favorite characters are doing in the future. :-)