Kali POV:
Daryl's hand tightly gripped my elbow, providing support as we stood there, unable to tear our eyes away from the gruesome scene – the bloodied saw, the severed hand. It was a sight that held us all captive; even Daryl couldn't look away.
Questions raced through my mind, each one more terrifying than the last. How bad had the situation been on this rooftop for Merle to resort to cutting off his own hand? Where had he gone? Was he heading back to us, or was he bleeding out somewhere alone? What if he didn't want to return to us at all? Didn't want anything to do with me. My mind raced with doubt thinking back on all our recent arguments, maybe blood finally wasn't enough. He probably took this as an opportunity to leave.
I had to break free from the whirlwind of thoughts before they consumed me. I forced myself to shift my gaze to Daryl, seeking answers in his eyes. What were we supposed to do now?
Daryl's gaze flickered briefly, softening toward me for a fleeting moment before hardening. He abruptly pushed me behind him, raising his crossbow and aiming it at T-Dog. In the blink of an eye, Rick had his gun pointed at Daryl. My heart raced, and I couldn't hold back a few tears. I sniffled and wiped my nose, my anxiety threatening to engulf me. Every instinct in me wanted to shut down, to hide away like a frightened child, to hide under my bed, but I forced myself to resist it. My frown deepened as I shot a steely glare at Rick, one that no doubt matched my brothers.
"I won't hesitate, I don't care if every walker in the city hears it," Rick warned, his voice dripping with tension.
Time seemed to stretch as Daryl and Rick faced off, their weapons drawn and aimed. Then, a subtle shift in the atmosphere signaled a change. Daryl's expression, initially contorted with anger, was holding back tears. Beneath his tough exterior, I could see the turmoil of emotions he was wrestling with. Slowly, he lowered his crossbow, the tension in his stance dissipating. Rick, too, lowered his gun.
At that moment, I couldn't help but feel a strange sense of gratitude that the roles were as they were: Daryl here with me, and Merle missing. Because if it were Merle in this situation and Daryl was the one missing, Merle would have erupted into violence, turning it into a bloodbath. And for that I was grateful.
After that, Daryl had taken charge of wrapping up the hand, and much to Glenn's dismay, and stowed it in his bag. I had an overwhelming urge to reach out and hug my brother, to comfort him and be comforted, but I held back. Daryl was already dealing with enough emotions despite masking them, and I didn't want to make him feel more uncomfortable in front of the others.
It was evident that the rest of the group had noticed Daryl's struggle to contain his feelings as well. As we continued on our mission, Daryl settled for a simple squeeze of my shoulder, a silent acknowledgment that we'll talk later.
I knew this wasn't the right time or place to have the conversation we desperately needed to have. So, I took a deep breath and tried my best to release some of the fear and anxiety that had gripped me.
We made our way back down the stairs, led by Daryl's conviction that Merle couldn't have gone too far. I tried to temper my hopes, not wanting to get too optimistic, but the mere belief that he might be alive filled me with relief.
As we descended, we encountered the remnants of the undead on one of the middle floors (supposedly taken out by the tough son of bitch Merle according to Daryl), which appeared to be some sort of office space, although its purpose remained a mystery. Daryl followed a trail of blood, and I trailed closely behind him, with the rest of the group following suit. The trail eventually led us to a staff kitchen area, and my face scrunched up in response to a putrid stench that assaulted my senses.
"What is that smell?" I asked Daryl, pinching my nose shut to block out the foul odor.
As we rounded the corner of the kitchen, we stumbled upon more evidence of Merle's struggle – a trail of blood leading around a gas stove.
Rick, holding some sort of flat kitchen tool, replied to my question, "Skin. He cauterized the stump." I couldn't help but notice the gruesome sight of melted flesh on the metal surface, and it nearly made me gag.
Daryl quipped to Rick, "Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle." His eyes locked onto mine as he made that last remark, a statement that left an impression.
Rick responded skeptically, "Don't take that on faith; he lost a lot of blood."
Daryl remained undeterred, retorting, "Yeah? Didn't stop him from busting from this death trap." He led the group to a broken window, and I couldn't help but notice Glenn's surprise at the fact that Merle had left behind the building. It puzzled me; it seemed evident that Merle had given up on the idea of them coming back for him. My thoughts, however, were still consumed with where he might have gone. I was getting that anxious energy again that it wasn't back to us, me and Daryl his family.
General POV:
The group had devised a plan: Glenn would make a solo run for the bag of guns. Rick and T-Dog would serve as backup in one alley, while Daryl and Kali would be stationed in another. Well, Kali mostly found herself shadowing her brother closely. He had given her a pistol since she left her bow and arrow back at the camp and she ensured the safety was on. She didn't tuck it into her pants since Daryl insisted she keep it at the ready, just in case. She hoped really that she wouldn't have to use it.
The alley they occupied was a desolate place, littered with discarded refuse. Silence hung heavy between the siblings. Despite their current plan, Kali wanted to ask what they were going to do now. She felt lost in the middle of the city and unable to voice her thoughts to Daryl. She had her gaze fixed on him, her expectation palpable, even though he had his back turned to her, scanning the length of the alley with his crossbow at the ready.
Daryl sensed her eyes on him, but he couldn't muster the strength to meet her gaze. He knew she sought answers. Where was their brother? Where was her mother? Those questions weighed heavily on both of them, and he had no solutions to offer yet.
"Yer staring," he stated, still gazing down the desolate alley.
"Sorry," she replied meekly, biting her lip.
He turned to look at her briefly. He didn't want her to apologize; he was just trying to break the tension.
"Is fine," he said, turning his attention back down the alleyway. With a swift, practiced motion, he dispatched a nearby walker with an arrow before efficiently reloading his crossbow.
"I-it's just that..." She stumbled for words as she stared down at the ground.
"Spit it out, Kali," His tone was exasperated, not with her but with the whole situation.
Kali gathered her courage to broach a subject that had been nagging at her.
"It's just that... we're so close to... home," she hesitated on the word "home," realizing that it hadn't been a true home in a long time. "I mean, it's where I used to live. Mom might still be there, right?" Daryl turned, looking at her fully now. He wasn't surprised she brought it up; he was more surprised it took her so long to do so. He sighed. No good would come from finding Kali's mother, but the girl seemed to care.
"Like we can't not look for her now..." She filled in the silence when he didn't respond, trying to convince him. What was he supposed to say?
"Kali," he began, his voice rough. "We gotta find Merle first."
She sighed, feeling a pang of guilt for even suggesting the idea. "I know, but... once we find Merle, can we at least check? We're so close, Daryl."
He scratched his stubble that was starting to come through. Deep down, Daryl wished he could spare her from the inevitable disappointment that awaited. The reality was harsh; he didn't have the heart to tell her that the chances of their mother still being there were slim to none. Or worse, she was there, but she was the same neglectful woman who had chosen drugs over her own daughter. That was a situation he had no desire to confront. Somehow, despite everything his kid sister had been through, she still loved her mom, a sentiment he failed to comprehend.
We'll see, Kal," he finally stated, his voice low and gruff. It was all he could offer right now. He just couldn't commit to making that promise.