Ctrl + Alt + Del: The Animated Series – Rewritten (Episode 1)

This is a personal project of mine to see whether or not I can rewrite the infamous Ctrl + Alt + Del animated series. Though, given the source material, I don't think it will be that hard. Enjoy!

The first scene first opens with Ethan (as Chun Li), facing off against Ryu (possibly Lucas or Zeke) in a Street Fighter stage (specifically the Alpha 3 Max version on the PSP).

Ethan: "So, Ryu, it has come to this. One-and-one, macho and mano. Ready to have your face caved in?"

"Ryu": "It's one-on-one. If you're going to challenge someone to a fight, at least—"

The words "Round 1" appear, causing "Ryu" to sigh and roll their eyes.

"Ryu": "Whatever, let's just get to it, alright?"

Ethan smirks.

Ethan: "Heh. Just don't come crying to me when I've kicked your sorry ass."

FIGHT!

The fight is intense, fast flurries of punches, kicks, and hyper combos happen all over the place. Ethan just barely misses them, and delivers multiple counterattacks in response. "Ryu" is at this point at their last stand, black eye and very visible wounds all over. Ethan is standing over them, about to deliver the final blow and end the match.

Ethan (acting as a "tough guy"): "So, any last words, punk?"

"Ryu": "Will…will…"

"Ryu" coughs a mouthful of blood.

"Ryu": "Will my PS2 play Xbox games…?"

Ethan, before he can deliver the blow, stops and gives "Ryu" a confused look.

Ethan: "Huh?"

"Ryu": "Uh, I said—"

The scene then pops like a balloon, revealing the entire scene to be Ethan's fantasy. The scene now shifts to the GameHaven store, where Nerds and Gamers Collide™! The store is a combination of both AdventureQuest and the comic version [yes, I am not kidding, Ctrl + Alt + Del had a crossover with AdventureQuest World]: shelves lined from wall to wall in games with various other game demos and other bargin bin games throughout the store. Where Ethan is sitting is the front desk, with a metallic shelf and a glass window for showing off the latest game releases with wood decorating the outside of the glass underneath and has a cash register, as well as a barcode scanner. Ethan is leaning on the desk looking at a customer holding a PSP (with Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max on it), with said customer with a green t-shirt and grey pants (AKA the customer from OG Ep. 1; probably with the name Frank since he is wanting an honest answer).

Frank: "Will my PS2 play Xbox games? I want to know if I can run Halo on my PS2."

Ethan: "Uhhh… well-"

Ethan is about to respond to Frank, when Lucas walks by with a large box filled with the latest games at least in the time period the series takes place (HL2, GTA III, etc.).

Lucas: "Sorry, sir, but your copy of Halo is not compatible with Playstation systems. If you want, you can get an Xbox or something."

Frank throws down the game in anger, causing Ethan to look at him in shock.

Frank: "God damnit, I bought the stupid thing for nothing! Great, now I'll have to return the PS2, then get an Xbox, which probably sold out and the stinkin'-"

Frank trails off and walks off-screen, spouting an angry rant… before running back into the store a few seconds later.

Frank: "…Yeah, uh, I should probably… take this back. Sorry."

Frank then takes the game back and runs out for real this time, leaving Ethan to shrug, then continues playing Alpha 3 Max.

[Cut to intro for series]

After the intro, Ethan enters his house with two plastic bags and walks over to Lucas, who is playing a game of Dead or Alive.

Lucas: "Spend your paycheck on video games again?"

Ethan: "You know it! Figured I could spend my hard-earned cash on some brand spankin' new games. Figured I'd treat myself."

Lucas: "Heh, 'hard-earned', good one."

Ethan rolls his eyes with a knowing smile.

Ethan: "Yeah, yeah. Whatever keeps you sleeping at night."

Ethan rummages through the plastic bag to pull out Fight Night.

Ethan: "Speaking of new, I wanna try out this fighting game called Fight Night, heard it's pretty sweet."

Lucas: "Later, Ethan. I'm playing Dead or Alive."

Ethan is confused.

Ethan: "What? Dude, I just want to relax from working all day. Is that so wrong?"

Lucas' expression turns into slight annoyance.

Lucas: "Dude, I've seen you at work. All you do is just play video games."

Ethan: "Uh, nuh-uh. I stock the shelves, keep the place clean, manage inventory, and count the money. You know, all that boring stuff."

Lucas: "First of all, you did not just use nuh-uh unironically. [Lucas does a mocking, sassy finger wave.] And second, doesn't Barry usually do that sort of thing?"

Ethan: "Well, yeah… he used to anyway."

Lucas: "…What do you mean 'used to'?"

Ethan tugs at his collar.

Ethan: "Well—"

There's a cutaway to Ethan scrubbing the last of the hard floor wearing yellow gloves and using various cleaning products. Ethan, after seeing the hard work finally done, wipes his forehead.

Ethan: "Whew. All done, now to—"

Barry, ever the eager problem-solver, barges into the store with a large cage of mice (thankfully harmless white mice, but still a plentiful amount).

Barry: "Hey, Ethan, heard you got a roach problem, I got just the thing!"

Ethan's eyes widen in shock, and with a slow turn, sees Barry with his hand on the cage's handle. Everything is in slow-motion as Ethan yells "no" to Barry, but it's too late; the cage is open, and in normal motion, a giant wave of white rats runs towards a now scared Ethan. Before they can reach him, the scene cuts away to present day, with a Post Mouse Stress Disorder Ethan getting chills at the memory.

Ethan: "I still hear the squeaks in my nightmares."

Lucas: "…Right. Still no, Ethan. I was here first and today is my day off. Maybe you can go do something else for a little while."

Ethan groans in defeat.

Ethan: "Fine. Maybe I'll go and read a book or ride a bike or something." [Ethan is waving his arms sarcastically]

Lucas: "You do that, dude."

Ethan pouts, then leaves the room and enters his and his wife's (Lilah's) bedroom.

Lilah: "Hey, hon, how was work?"

Ethan: "Eh, not too bad, finally got all of Barry's rats out of the walls. Least Barry's not the main cleaning guy anymore… well, they did make him the sign holder. That man can really bust it down with just a sign, I tell ya."

Lilah: "That's good… so, you want to see a movie or something?"

Ethan: "Wish I could, but Barry's hogging the TV as usual, so I have to do other stuff."

Lilah: "Ethan, watching a movie is other stuff."

Ethan: "Oh yeah, you're right. …Think they'd let me plug in my console?"

Lilah frowns.

Lilah: "Ethan."

Ethan: "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Buuuuttt… this gives me an idea. Maybe I can get Lucas away from the console so that I could play Fight Night."

Lucas laughs evily, with a now Grinch-like grin.

Lilah: "Oh no, I know that laugh."

Ethan: "Oh Lucas, you absolute genius. Soon, that game console will be reserved for one Ethan MacManus."

Ethan walks out of the room, rubbing his hands together while laughing dastardly. Lilah sighs.

Lilah: "There goes my weekday. [to Ethan] Don't get yourself hurt like last time!"

Ethan pokes his head around the room, still having the Grinch grin.

Ethan: "No promises~!"

Ethan slowly leaves the room, leaving Lilah to roll her eyes and get back to reading. The scene cuts to Ethan on the roof, wearing his cardboard wings. He's setting up a mannequin wearing his clothing with an additional pair of fake wings.

Ethan: "There, operation 'Heaven's Angel' is a go. Now to see if he'll take the bait."

Ethan pokes his head down, looking into the window in an upside-down view. Lucas is gone.

Ethan: "Huh, weird. Where'd he—"

Lucas, from below, yells at Ethan.

Lucas: "Ethan, what are you doing?"

Ethan yells in fear, causing him to lose his balance and dramatically falls. But he is able to catch himself on the side of the roof. Ethan is more disappointed that the trap didn't work rather than almost breaking his back falling.

Ethan: "...Oh just... hanging around."

Lucas sighs.

Lucas: "Ethan, were you seriously trying to get me to stop playing video games... again?"

Ethan pretends to think for a moment.

Ethan: "Mmmmmaybe?"

Ethan gives an innocent, yet nervous smile.

Ethan: "Actually, how'd you know I'd be on the roof?"

Lucas: "I followed the sounds of stupidity followed by desperation and eventually found you... also because you were loud as shit on the roof."

Ethan: "Oh."

Ethan's expression changes to fear as he begins to slip off the roof.

Lucas: "I swear, if you break your neck again, I'm not calling an ambulance."

Ethan begins to slip and... falls directly on his rear end off-screen. Ethan gives a small "ow".

Ethan: "At least I didn't fall on my neck this time? Heh heh."

Lucas (off-screen): "I worry about you sometimes."

The scene then does a spin wipe to Ethan explains the plan to Zeke.

Ethan: "Right, so, you pull this rope, and Lucas here's gonna be pulled right off the couch. And once that's done, I'm gonna get first class seating to the greatest fighter in the world."

Zeke: "And what's my end of the bargain?"

Ethan: "You'll get full access to the Gamecube for a week, no strings attached."

Zeke shrugs.

Zeke: "I suppose it's better than nothing. Alright, pulley system activated, rope at disposal, now-"

Lucas looks up from his game at Zeke, then at the pulley system... and groans in defeat. That is, until Zeke tries to pull the rope, only for it to not budge. Zeke and Ethan are confused, and then Lucas grabs the rope and simply pulls down, launching Zeke into the ceiling Looney Tunes-style. Lucas cringes, with Ethan following suit.

Lucas: "Whoops. Hey, on the plus side, I found what jammed it."

Lucas then pulls out a pink wad of gum, which is obviously gross and not fit to chew.

Ethan: "So that's where that went. I've been trying to find that thing for a week."

Zeke: "I hate both of you."

The scene then cuts to Lucas on the couch, with a slight view of the side of it. Ethan, with a Jason mask and a knife in one hand, slowly rises, ready to scare Lucas out of his wits.

Lucas: "Oh hey, Ethan."

Ethan then lowers his arms in disappointment and begins to walk away with his head down.

Lucas: "It was a good try, though."

There's a cut to a montage with Ethan appearing to build something, with a welding helmet, tools, and so on. The scene then cuts to the final scene, where Ethan, now with bags under his eyes and slightly mad, is making an entire Rube Goldberg machine, with various odd implements in it. Ethan is laughing mad, finally finished with the device.

Ethan: "Now that it's done, Lucas'll never be on the console again! It's brilliant, BRILLIANT!"

Dramatic lightning then strikes, with Ethan laughing madly and the camera zooming in. Lucas is then in the scene crossing his arms.

Lucas: "What are you doing now?"

Ethan, not realizing whom he's talking to, begins to explain his plan.

Ethan: "This, my dear friend, is the Gamer Extraction Device 4000™ (Patent Pending). With this, any gamer caught inside will be trashed, thrashed, and (with the cherry on top), be removed from any gaming console imaginable."

Lucas admires the architecture of the device, nodding along to Ethan's speech.

Lucas: "Cool, cool. ...So, how do you plan to do that when I'm standing right here?"

Ethan: "Well, it's-"

Ethan begins to speak, then realizes he's talking to Lucas. Both of them then stare at each other for a bit. Lucas then looks at the device, with all of its mechanics, then back to Lucas.

Ethan: "...Too far?"

Lucas: "A little."

Lilah then walks into the scene, holding an extra Xbox controller.

Lilah: "Hey, you guys busy or something? I wanna play some-"

Lilah looks at the situation, and then sighs.

Lilah: "-Halo. ...Let me guess, he built another one."

Lucas: "Yep."

Lilah: "And he planned it to use it on you to remove you from the couch to play a game he just got."

Lucas: "Double yep."

Lilah: "Right, okay."

Lilah then puts her hand on Ethan's shoulder.

Lilah: "Look, Ethan. I know you like to do things your own way, and you enjoy doing those things. It's fun, and you love it a lot. Maybe a little too much, but still. Sometimes, you just gotta let other people do their thing. They want to play their games as much as you do, and it's better to just let them instead of trying to control them or force them to drop everything so that you can, y'know, play the hot new game everyone's talking about. You get it, right?"

Ethan nods.

Lilah: "That's good to hear. Now—Zeke."

The scene then shifts to Zeke standing next to Lucas, playing dramatic music to accompany Lilah's "life lesson".

Zeke: "You humans are so delightfully cheesy sometimes."

Lilah rolls his eyes, and Zeke presses his X-shaped chest to turn the music off.

Ethan: "Well, guess that wraps everything up. You know—"

Ethan walks away while giving his big speech, unknowingly about to step on the rope that activates the Gamer Extraction Device 4000™ (Patent Pending).

Ethan: "-It's great that I have friends like you guys to keep me in check, and I cannot thank you enough for—"

Lilah: "Uh, Ethan?"

Ethan steps closer to the rope.

Ethan: "—being there and supporting me even if I screw up sometimes. Even if I don't say it often, I love you guys—"

Lilah: "ETHAN!"

Ethan: "What?"

Ethan looks down, and sees that he's now fully in the rope.

Ethan: "…Oh."

Ethan's legs then get pulled by the rope into the machine, which sends him off-screen through it. Lucas, Lilah, and Zeke watch (though off-screen as the audience doesn't see, with Ethan's shadow providing the only visible thing about the machine; Zeke is also watching with a bowl of popcorn) as Ethan gets scratched by cats, smacked in the face with cactuses, burnt with flamethrowers (with Ethan screaming "WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THOSE?!"), and then spun around like he's a slab of meat. In the end, the scene then shows a robot hand pulling Ethan out of the machine, completely burnt with ash all over his face and clothes with part of his hair on fire. He also has a part of a cactus stuck to his face and a black cat sleeping on his shoulder, near where the scratch marks the cat left. The robot hand then pats Ethan on the hand and retracts back into the machine.

Lucas: "…So, co-op?"

Ethan (badly injured): "Yeah, co-op sounds good… and an ice pack. Ow."

The scene then fades out to the credits.