Bleach (c) Tite Kubo

Once More To See You Again

Crime of Re-Association

If this situation wasn't the dictionary definition of catastrophic then Rukia Kuchiki is hard pressed to imagine how her situation could get worse.

This was supposed to be only a one month tenure as Karakura town's appointed Shinigami, but within the first few days everything went to hell.

Fate truly does have a detestable way of rolling up its sleeves and dispensing the shoves when people believe they're hit rock bottom. What compounds Rukia's morose opinion about this whole disaster is this shoddily made lousy excuse of a second-hand gigai that seedy old shopkeeper Kisuke Urahara had loaned her in the meantime.

It's stiffling in here. Far too cramped and constraining to accommodate her effectively. Like trying to squeeze yourself into clothes two sizes too small for you. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

While Rukia ordinarily wouldn't be so trusting of a seemingly benign stranger as far as she could throw them, in an unknown world with no powers, no support and little else to turn to, beggars couldn't be choosers.

Which calls to attention the source of her sullen demeanor.

Last night's skirmish was tumultuous to put things mildly. Consequence of which, Rukia finds her shinigami powers temporarily drained.

In a desperate bid for survival, she'd offered the boy, Ichigo Kurosaki, a portion of her powers to protect his family. Her intention was to donate roughly half of his powers, with his innate spirit energy as a base that would've been move than sufficient to defeat Fishbone D, the hollow that attacked them.

But somehow, Ichigo absorbed it all.

Perhaps his uncommonly high reiryoku was the culprit behind that, devouring her spiritual energies like some inescapable maw.

Regardless of the reason, the result remains the same. Rukia is forced to make do.

She had power enough to heal Ichigo's family at least and use her kikanshinki to replace all their memories. One cat never be certain what a replacement memory will contain, but they'll wake up believing something mundane happened to their home while they slept untroubled through the night.

But that still leaves Rukia with a knotty problem.

Now that Ichigo siphoned off her powers she had not choice, she has to somehow convince him to assume her duties until her own strength returned. If he refuses... she'd have to follow him around, coerce him into accepting through whatever means necessary.

That means she has to blend in.

Rukia found the high school Ichigo attended and made a few discreet modifications to the teachers' memories and muddled through a plausible alias while teaching herself modern speech (she can't say Urahara didn't do her any favours there). When she'd arrived at school that morning, everyone accommodatingly and enthusiastically welcomed her as the new transfer student. Thus began her deception and the waiting game.

Frankly it reminds her of simpler days at the Shin'ou Academy, but the atmosphere was completely different. Not surrounded by other snobbish noble spawns who looked down at the Rukongai rats for daring to rise above their station, just... ordinary children.

It's refreshingly different in his own strange way.

Rukia spent her life used to being ostracized for one reason or another that she didn't know how to handle the complete opposite scenario. It throw her through a loop to say the least.

"Oh hey, the swim team's back!" Someone announced in her periphery to the cheers of others in the classroom and excited banter like 'Betcha he brought back the silver!' and challenges of 'Heck no! Our guys are the best in the district. We got the gold, baby!'.

Rukia pays it no heed.

Ichigo hasn't shown up yet, likely still unconscious from last night's exertions but that works in Rukia's favour. While the teacher enters the room and calls the students to silence for homeroom, Rukia mentally catalogues her options.

She'd have to report the night's events; the creation of a substitute Shinigami would get her into a sticky mess with the top brass, especially so soon after her deployment.

Bluntly, it was illegal.

A very illegal act indeed.

Though this wasn't an entirely unsalvageable situation. She can report directly to Captain Ukitake and explain the circumstances. From there the Captain could make arrangements for an appeals hearing with Central 46 to have the new substitute's case heard and assess. While Rukia would still get into huge trouble, its nothing she couldn't eventually work her way out of.

Best case scenario, based on what little of his character Rukia had witnessed so far, Ichigo would pass any character assessments with flying colours and officially ordained and permitted to function as a substitute until the powers he'd leeched from Rukia drained away completely. After that, Ichigo's memory would be modified to forget the entire experience and Rukia would come out with a nasty reprimand on her official record.

It'll shatter her chances of ever obtaining a stead posting within the Thirteenth, whispers of resentment towards her abound despite her forty years of service and the nobility already privately questioned her competence, but she could live with that ridicule and stigma if it meant Ichigo could go on peacefully with his life too.

The school bell chimes a short musical rhythm over the intercom, signaling the end of the period and start of recess.

"Oi, Kurosaki! Good job the other day." Someone to her right shouts, an enthusiastic brunette teenager with a mania to match Kiyone and Sentaro when they get into their scuffles, practically leaping from his seat to greet the new arrival.

Show time.

Rukia elegantly puts her books away, scribbling a hasty note of her palm in black ink. A grim warning to keep his mouth shut. She's about done when a shadow casts over her desk, making a hauntingly familiar silhouette.

So he's come to her. That's fair enough Rukia supposed.

Ichigo doubtlessly has no end of questions and Rukia spent all morning preparing answers.

"You're new here, transfer student. Sorry to be, ya know, that guy but this is my desk, so..." She can practically hear the apologetic smile in his tone, but when Rukia glances up her heart seizes with horror.

Above her stands a ghost from the bloody past. Dark spiky hair, lean frame and obsidian blue eyes.

Her mind's eye superimposes a much taller man, older and more experience, in a black shihakushou and the Thirteenth Division's Lieutenant's badge around his left sleeve, wearing a wide proud grin which beams like the very essence of sunlight and promises a hint of mischief.

Rukia blinks the image away and its replaced by the teenager wearing the boy's grey school uniform. He's a carbon copy of the idolized man in her memory, though this one's very much a lean teenager yet to grow into his adult frame. Younger with baby fat in his cheeks, brighter and wearing a pair of obsidian blue eyes, not aqua green.

"Y-you're..." Rukia can barely push out and the boy gives her a two-finger salute in greeting,

"Yo. The name's Kaien Kurosaki. Pleased to meet you."

Her eyes widen, unable to hide her shock then dismay when she sees no trace of recognition in those eyes. Her heart twists into knots while ancient grief and guilt tears through her guts like a knife.

"Hey, are you-?"

It's all Rukia can do to find her voice again. "Uh, please pardon me. I... I need to see the nurse, I'm not feeling - excuse me."

Without preamble, Rukia shoots to her feet and excuses herself as quickly as she dares, weaving her way through the other students out the door before breaking into a dead sprint.

Kurosaki.

The same as Ichigo Kurosaki? No. No, there's no possible way that could be a coincidence.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

The second bed!

There were two beds in that room.

Last night when Rukia slipped between worlds and found purchase in Ichigo's room while she tracked the frustratingly elusive Fishbone D, she failed to notice the second bed.

In fact, she'd been so completely stupefied by the unprecedented events unfolding around her that she'd failed to notice the implied divide in Ichigo's room. One half more orderly and filled with an assortment of literature. The other half had been messier, filled with ocean-based paraphernalia and minor swim trophies.

It was so obvious now she thought about it.

Ichigo clearly shared his room with another, and Kaien - this Kaien - seems his equal in age.

Twins.

What are the odds? Rukia granted shinigami powers to a young boy who lived in the same room as her reincarnated mentor! (By the Soul King's grace, they even shared the same name!)

A Shinigami Substitute was one thing. Rukia could appeal and negotiate that away with Captain Ukitake's help.

A violation of the Cycle's Decree is another matter entirely. Ancient tenants set down millions of years ago forbade souls to re-associate with their incarnated friends and family.

At one time in their million year history, when the number of souls in their world had been a great deal fewer, such a thing was prevalent enough to warrant entire laws and sanctions. Violating those decrees ended with a swift termination; for the offender and the incarnated soul.

Rukia presses a hand to her mouth, suddenly very ill. The re-association has to be reported immediately so she could be transferred to a new location and avoid as much damage as possible. But doing so would leave a Shinigami Substitute unsupervised and end with swift executions.

On the other hand, if Rukia remained here and kept the re-association quiet, then she'd likely be declared a deserter, found and later executioned along side Ichigo and this Kaien to preserve the tenants of the creed.

Suddenly her mess got a whole lot more complicated.

The Hollow dissolves into black reishi then evaporating into nothing. Ichigo's last strike was magnificent for an amateur and the konsou went off without so much as a hitch, leaving the pair alone in the playground.

All and all, it was a splendid performance for his first mission as a Substitute Shinigami.

Rukia complimented him as such but Ichigo dismissed it with a scoff and rose to his feet. He continues glaring at a spot on the ground in particular.

He grunts, sheathing his Zanpakutou and turns away.

"I'm leaving."

"I-Ichigo?!"

Rukia's head jerks up at the startled voice and feels her stomach twist into knots when she locks eyes on the source.

Kaien Kurosaki, not Kaien Shiba she tells herself, stands at the entrance of the playground with a hand on a pillar to keep himself upright, perspiration dotting his brow and chest heaving. He'd evidently sprinted the entire way here from the school. His wide uncomprehending blue eyes cycle between Ichigo, Rukia to where the young boy's spirit once stood and where the Hollow had been cleansed.

"Kaien, I, uh..." Ichigo starts awkwardly, suddenly overcome by an uncharacteristic bound of sheepishness. He self-consciously glances between his twin and Rukia.

Eventually, it gives way to irritation. "Were you following us?!"

"Yeah, I've been following you since you ditched class earlier." Kaien reveals as though it were the most obvious thing ever, cautiously making his way over. Eyes still shifting between where Ichigo had slain the Hollow and performed the Konsou as though trying to rationalize what he'd witnessed. "I wanted to ask you about about how Dad, Yuzu and Karin were doing after the accident in private. But then I saw the transfer student punch you out of... well, you. And... What is with that get-up? And that massive sword? What, now you've taken up a freaky monster slaying gig as some kind of twisted hobby? Seriously Ichi, I've been gone a day. Literally overnight. Why do you always went up in the most asinine situations whenever I'm not there to save your sorry backside?"

"I don't need you babysitting me, Kai." Ichigo protests grumpily.

"I'm your brother. That's my job." Kaien retorts brightly.

Rukia's been studying him this entire time, her scrutinizing gaze narrows, "You're taking this extraordinarily well."

"Oh I promise you I am a split second away from freaking the hell out. As I believe anyone would be when their sanity and concept of reality are called into question. Just-" Kaien forks both hands through his hair in frustration before jabbing a finger at both of them in turn, "-You. Or you. Either or. Explain please. Before I snap and go on a murderous killing spree."

"I'm not sure the double emphasis was necessary but-" Ichigo mutters under his breath,

Kaien digs the heels of his palms into his eyes in aggravation, he explodes snatching Ichigo by the collar. "Oh my god! Give me an explanation please! It doesn't matter what it is; just give me something to attach to before I flip the fuck out!"

"Drama king much?" Ichigo rolls his eyes but doesn't react further than that, likely having witnessed similar blow ups in his time.

"Ichigo-" Rukia's warning tone goes unheeded.

"Gez! Calm down, will ya? One question at a time." Ichigo cuts in, prying Kaien's hands off his collar and taking a step between him and Rukia while awkwardly scratching the back of his head, "Look. Okay, here's the deal, so... I'm a ghost."

Kaien stares at at him blankly, like he'd groan a second head for a long minute.

"A ghost." He repeats, suddenly completely calm.

"Uh, technically the term is Substitute Shinigami. She's the actual Shinigami. Yes, psychopomps are real. Freak out about it on your own time. Apparently she was supposed to be patrolling this town until she bungled it up." Ichigo tosses a thumb over his shoulder at Rukia.

The backhanded remark snaps Rukia out of her daze and she bites back in protest, "Hey! I wouldn't have been in that situation if you'd just listened to what I said. If you hadn't charged in blindly like an idiot-!"

Ichigo's dismissive wave over his shoulder and scoff cuts Rukia off and the overwhelming urge to knock him upside the head with her sketchpad returns with a vengeance.

"Whatever. To make a long story short, a lot of things happened while you were at swim camp. The house sort of got blown up by a monster fish demon thing called a Hollow. That spider thing I killed just now was a Hollow too and that light with the butterfly, if you saw that? I helped a wandering spirit cross over to some resting place called the Soul Society... and, uh... yeah. That's pretty much all I've got." Ichigo finishes with a vague shrug of his shoulders.

Rukia observes them, observes Kaien's reaction as his gaze continues to cycle from the playground to them both while he mulled it over.

"Bullshit."

Ichigo groans in frustration, his shoulders slumps before he thrust a finger in Rukia's direction, "Did you not see me kill that damn thing? How can you not believe that?"

Kaien leans back, arms folded over his chest and lips pressed in a thin line. Rukia doesn't say anything either while Ichigo regards his twin brother with an impressive scowls.

Another minute passed before Kaien seemingly spots something in the distance.

"Excuse me, Miss? Miss?" Kaien calls after an older woman who crosses the park entrance, who peers his way quizzically while the young girl at her side hold her hand and licks at her ice-cream treat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ichigo demands, exasperated as he chased after his brother, Rukia moves to join them both in time to see Kaien's face light up with a painfully familiar bright and charming smile. (The same self-assured smile the Lieutenant used to make to reassure his troops or talk himself out of any trouble back in the day.)

"Hi. Sorry to disrupt your day, Miss, but I'm looking for my twin brother. Looks exactly like me but bright orange hair. My friend and I here were meant to meet him for a school drama project but we can't seem to find him. You wouldn't have happened to see him roaming about the area, would you?"

The older woman simply shakes her head, because of course she would. "No. No I'm afraid not, I'm sorry. Would you like some help finding him, young man? Perhaps he's gotten lost? You can get turned about in this district very easily if you don't know your way around all these winding roads."

Kaien raises a polite hand to decline, that genial smile still present, "No, that's alright. Thank you. He probably just got bored waiting around for us and went for a walk to kill some time. I'm sure he'll be here any minute now. No need to trouble yourself. Have a lovely day, Ma'am."

Kaien bows his head respectfully in farewell,

"No trouble in the slightest. Good luck finding him, and good luck with your project. Study hard." The woman's encouragement is echoed by her daughter's enthusiastic cheer of 'Good luck'.

When they were certain the woman and her daughter were out of earshot, Kaien turns back to his twin in astonishment. "Hot damn, you're the real deal."

"Ow! Why'd you pinch me for?" Ichigo complains, taking a step back out of his brother's reach and massaging his shoulder.

"Why can I touch you?" Kaien ignores his protest in favour of poking Ichigo's chest, "Aren't you supposed to be some sort of ghost right now? Shouldn't you be intangible? Shouldn't my hand be passing straight through you?"

Ichigo bat Kaien's hand away, crossed his arms and glared. "Quit it. You grabbed my collar earlier, of course you can touch me you idiot."

Kaien blinks, taken aback. "Oh... so I did."

"You completely forgot, didn't you?"

"Maybe." Kaien dismisses easily with a shrug before poking Ichigo again. "Seriously though... what the hell?"

Ichigo scowls darkly at him, "Poke me one more time and I'll hit you."

Kaien stares at him but only a blind man would miss that telltale gleam of mischief in his eyes. Swift as lightening, Kaien pokes Ichigo again. Ichigo retaliates with a loud hard slap upside his head but Kaien guffaws in response.

"Ow! No fair. I didn't know it'd worth both ways." He complains, hand on his new lump.

"Of course it would, you moron. I've knocked you off me three times in the last five minutes. Why the hell wouldn't I be able to touch you?" Ichigo snaps. "What are you, dense?"

Meanwhile Rukia groans in resignation. "This is insane."

"Welcome to my life." Ichigo bemoans and gestures to his twin, "This is my brother in a nutshell. Pushing all my damn buttons every single chance he gets."

"Then don't make it so easy for me. If you stopped responding so explosively I'd be less inclined to keep needling you." Kaien retorts.

"As if. You'd do it regardless until you got me to react." Ichigo accuses.

Kaien raises both hands defensively. "Hey hey, now. No need to confuse the issue with fact."

Rukia slumps, "You're both idiots."

"Yes he is." Ichigo concurs.

"Idiots plural, you dingus. She's talking about both of us. Open your ears next time, Mr 'Literature is my favourite subject.'" Kaien teases. "And you have the gall to say I'm the dense one..."

Ichigo surges forward and snatched his brother's uniform collar, a vein popping on his temple even as Kaien grins unrepentantly, "I'm going to drown you."

The grin vanishes and Kaien tilts his head in innocent curiosity as a grim thought occurs, "Actually, better question; if you're supposed to be a spirit right now, can you still go back to your body? You kinda dumped it in the middle of the school's courtyard; is this whole Shinigami spirit-y stuff a permanent thing now?"

"Oh crap, my body!" Ichigo blurts in a panic, dropping his twin (who lands on his backside with a thump and reflexive 'ow') and spin towards Rukia, "My body's still okay, right?!"

Kaien points toward his brother, his attention on Rukia. "He's not permanently dead or anything like that, is he?" 'Cause if he is, that'd be awkward to explain to our Dad and sisters. And to all our friends too, I guess. Moreover... we're gonna some have words of the unpleasant variety."

"Forget that, I need to go get it!" Ichigo promptly bolts back onto the street and back towards the direction of Karakura High School.

"Wha - Hey! Wait for me!" Kaien scrambles to his feet and chases after him.

They left Rukia alone in the park, who silently wonders which god she'd offended in a previous life to be saddled with two of these idiots.

Back at school, at the end of the day when almost everyone's gone home save the faculty, Kaien peers down at his brother's prone body motionlessly on the cot in the darkened room adjacent to the School Nurse's office.

Ichigo stares down at his own body, arms crossed over his chest and an irritated scowl etched on his face.

His chest - his physical chest - didn't move. At all. No indication that the body was even alive.

That isn't creepy in the slightest...

"So..." Kaien's break the silence that stretched for however many minutes, Ichigo raises a pointed eyebrow at him, "How do you, um...?"

Kaien trails off, pointing a finger from Ichigo to his body then make a small gesture as though diving into a pool.

Ichigo scratches the back of his neck awkwardly then shrugs, "Lie down on it, I guess?" he offers dumbly.

"What do you mean-?" Kaien cut off his own exasperated protest, only to repeat at a hushed whisper to avoid the school nurse's attention through the half-open, "What do you mean 'you guess?' Are you stuck like this? Otherwise I'm gonna be stuck carrying an oversized ragdoll home, and you ain't exactly a lightest load in the world either."

"And a right royal screw you too. I'm so sorry carrying home my empty shell of a body would be such an inconvenience for you." Ichigo deadpans, he continues with a snarl, "As for being stuck like this? I should hope not. Otherwise I'm skinning Rukia like a damn cat next time I get my hands on her."

Unlike Kaien, he hadn't restrained his temper on account of his spiritual self. Normal people couldn't see ghosts, a fact which made his twin more envious by the moment.

"Fine, just... do something." Kaien elbows his arm. "Seeing double you is doing my head in. If I wanted that I'd bleach my hair and admire this handsome face in a mirror." He accents his words with a proud stroke of his jawline that made Ichigo groan in dismay.

"Shut your face, Kai. Deflate your ego while you're at it, will ya."

"Shut up and let me cope. Now quit yapping. Do the thing." Kaien orders, Ichigo ignores the fact he backed away like he was witnessing a specialist defuse a bomb.

Ichigo hesitates and reaches out to his own body. He hadn't really grilled Rukia on the whole 'returning to your physical body' aspect of this gig. But the second he'd touches his own hand it was like something inside his own body yanked him in. With a snap of an elastic band, Ichigo's eyes snap open and he jerked upright, back in his physical body.

"Oh... oh wow, that is trippy." Ichigo sat upright and nurses a sudden dizzy spell while he reoriented himself,

"That looked trippy from the outside. Can't imagine what it felt like."

"Oh, Kurosaki. You're awake at last." The Nurse, evidently roused by the commotion, rushes from her office to fuss and fret over Ichigo.

She's only doing her job, but the twins were annoyed all the same. Having grown up in a clinic and occasionally acting as nurse assistants themselves, they knew all these standard trauma checks and procedures by heart and probably could've done that assessment themselves. But as Nurse Aoi would've been negligent not to perform her duties, neither made any protest while she assessed Ichigo for any lingering head trauma.

"Did you manage to get a glimpse of who attacked you, Ichigo? Or was this fainting spell brought on by a lack of nutrition I wonder? Dehydration? Its been a particularly dry time of year, have you been keeping up your fluids?" Aoi questions sternly, running through her catalogue in rapid succession.

Ichigo sends a look over her shoulder to Kaien for an explanation. Kaien raises his hands in surrender with an expression that screams 'Why was I supposed to say?'.

Thankfully, Ichigo's quick on the uptake and shakes his head slowly. "N-No. I was jumped." He supplies. "Some kids from a rival school got the jump on me." He adds, maybe a little unconvincingly. Its not entirely implausible. His physical features got Ichigo into his fair share of trouble and beating up punks who gave him grief was a kind of hobby.

"Yes, yes. Your brother reported as much." The Nurse muses and frowns, "But that doesn't marry up with my examination. I've seen no trace of bruising in the time I've been monitoring you. Are you sure you didn't experience a fainting spell?"

Ichigo grimaces. Kaien nervously bites his lip. Ichigo tries to conjure up yet another plausible explanation for the lack of injury, but-

"E-excuse me, Nurse Aoi?" Rukia Kuchiki knocks at the Nurse's door, her tremulous doe-eyed act on full display and handkerchief dabbing at crocodile tears. "I-I witnessed the whole event. I saw Ichigo fight to defend himself. He fought valiantly, but I'm afraid he - I would've aided him but I feared for my life. And I dared not speak up sooner."

"Ms Kuchiki, please. Please there's no need to cry. You're being very brave right now, I promise you." Nurse Aoi immediately forgot about Ichigo entirely and moved to 'comfort' the young girl.

While the nurse was distracted, Ichigo and Kaien exchanged a silent incredulous look, unable to believe the cheesy act was working.

"Would you please excuse us, Kaien?" Rukia turns her performance towards Kaien, that campy fretting demeanor made him scowl in turn, "Please. I must speak with the nurse about this terrible incident. The brutes that attacked poor Ichigo, and I - I fear to tell more people this harrowing tale."

Kaien stares at her, thoroughly unimpressed by the performance. With a quick glance to Ichigo, who gave him a small nod, Kaien finally concedes.

"Alright, if you insist. I'll be outside." Kaien grumbles and turns on his heel. He scooped up his and Ichigo's school bags and closed the door behind him on the way out.

"Did you see exactly who attacked Ichigo, Ms Kuchiki? Can you describe them? I need to make a police report on this matter, so any detail you recall will help immensely." Through the frosted glass window, he witnesses Nurse Aoi peer at Rukia and wonders what kind of crazy tale she'd spin to make their story sound more believable. Whatever it was, the nurse would probably be eating out of her hand.

"Oh yes I did. It's regrettably a rather crude toy I must confess but I managed to record the entire encounter with this." Kaien hears Rukia offer with that faux innocent tone before an explosion went off. Kaien jumps out of his skin in fright when he saw smoke fill the room and again when Ichigo and Rukia burst out of the Nurse's office at a dead sprint.

"Leg it." Ichigo orders and Kaien chased after the pair without hesitation.

They'd only stop to catch their breath once they'd reached the school's entrance. The midafternoon sun casting a golden glow over everything.

Kaien turns a scrutinizing gaze on Rukia, "Okay. Your spectacularly campy act aside: What in the heck did you do? What was that explosion?"

"That explosion was this." Rukia cheerfully and proudly presents strange bunny-capped toy in her hand that bounced back and forth on the end of a spring. "Behold! The Kikanshinki Deluxe Chappie edition! It allows me to change and replace anyone's memories."

"Okay. Terrifying moral implications aside, that's why you asked me to leave the room? Because you didn't want to use that thing on me." Kaien rightfully assumes and Rukia nods.

"Correct. Astute of you." She answer sagely. "Your brother's already involved in this, and if today serves as any indication, you'd probably follow after him just to find out where he'd disappear to every other night even if I had used this on you. You possess a considerable amount of reiyoku - or spirit energy - yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to see Ichigo. Simultaneously, your innate power is large enough to attract Hollows to you. I didn't see a point in blanking your memories about it, for your own safety as much as ours. It's better for you to be aware of the danger so you can best avoid it."

"Thanks, I guess." Kaien offers her an uneasy smile, Rukia barely glances at him.

"Of course, my decision might change if you decide to try and get in the way. Staying on my good side and out of our way would be for your own benefit." She concludes warningly.

"Thanks. Sheesh. Hollows, Shinigami and now magical memory replacement. I don't even know why I'm surprised at this point." Kaien grumbles, altogether far more sarcastic and offering Ichigo's school bag back to him, then comprehension dawns on his face. "Wait, 'staying out of your way.' Does that mean you're planning to hunt down even more of those monsters? Those Hollow things?"

"Just Hollows, and yeah." Ichigo sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before he faced his concerned twin. "Look it's my fault she lost her powers in the first place, all right? I agreed to lend her a hand and do her job in the mean time until she gets them back. It's the fair thing, isn't it? I'm the one who got in the way, she got injured trying to protect me so I owe it to her to do pick up the slack while she's recuperating."

"Still..." Kaien protests weakly.

Ichigo lightly punches his brother's shoulder, "Hey. I'll be fine. Don't need to worry about me."

"We're twins, Ichigo. Fretting over you and watching your back is basically my job description." Kaien reminds him with a forced crooked smirk, his expression sombers. "If that's what you feel you need to do then fine, do it. But you've always had a nasty habit of biting off more than you can chew. Just promise me this isn't going to be another one of those times, okay?"

"Whatever you say, little brother." Ichigo rolls his eyes.

"Excuse me? You're the younger one here, pipsqueak." Kaien quips.

"Dude, I'm older than you."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Nope."

"Yes I am!"

"Lies and slander."

"Kaien, I'm five minutes older!"

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."

Rukia shakes her head and heaves a sigh, "Are you two imbeciles done yet or should I leave you two to sort this out and come back later?"

"Never. But for now? Yes." Kaien declares, he clears his throat and adopts a more serious tone. "But I do have one question that's been bugging me."

"I'll answer if I can." Rukia responds tersely.

Kaien points to the Kikanshinki Deluxe in Rukia's hand. "Why is the cap on that thing a bunny in a frill, though?"

Ichigo stares uncomprehendingly at his twin, "Out of all the things you've learned to day, about monsters and the spirit world, Shinigami, Hollows and everything in between... that's your question?"

"T-this is a specialized tool for Shinigami to use in emergency situations. Be grateful I'd bothered to use this at all, otherwise the two of you would be stuck dealing with a lot of very sticky awkward questions, wouldn't you?" Rukia remind them haughtily.

Ichigo huffs petulantly, meanwhile Kaien still observes the device as Rukia reset it for it's next use. "But, why is it a crappy little bunny? I mean, you couldn't get something cooler? Like a dragon or something? You know, something more appropriate to a god of death than a cutesy little bunny?"

Rukia's violet gaze turns sharply up at him, utterly appalled and insulted.

Ichigo claps a hand down on Kaien's shoulder, "Oh trust me, if you think that's bad - just ask her to illistrate somethin' for you. If you want see something truly crap-tacular, there you go."

THWACK! THWACK!

Rukia turns about face and stalks off with her head held high, parting with a stiff regal, "I'll see you both at school tomorrow."

The twins glare after her, identical lumps forming on their heads. Ichigo's fingers curl into fist while his eye twitches. Kaien inhales sharply through his nose.

"Can I strangle her?"

"Not in public."

Author's note:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years everyone! I hope we've all been well. Recovering from Christmas and New Years has been a righteous pain in the butt. That said, I'm back. BB is being a difficult muse, so have the reincarnation AU instead. :)

Edited - 30/3/2023: Cleaned up the prose.

Regards,

Aurora313