"Bella, are you sure you're ready?" Carlisle asked her for the 5th time.
Bella nodded, pushing herself to the edge of the bed so Esme and Rosalie could help her stand up.
Alice was trying to pile medical supplies into a sports bag as the pink suitcase was already full.
"I want to leave. I can't stay here any longer." Bella told him. It had been a week since she had been in the hospital, but she was more than ready to go home. There wasn't anything she needed in the hospital that she wouldn't get at home with Carlisle. He was able to manage the feeding tube and burn dressing changes and they were taking a supply of oxygen home with them in case Bella needed it, although she had been doing fine. She no longer needed the IV, and she was having increased fluids through the feeding tube.
Carlisle had decided they would stay in the Airbnb for 2 weeks before heading back to Forks, in case Bella might need to go back to the hospital.
The caseworker from CPS had been happy for the Cullens to take Bella on, especially when they realized Jasper and Rosalie were foster children and the others were adopted. Renée had also given her written consent, which helped the situation.
There was still no word on where Charlie was. It worried Bella a little as a part of her wondered if he would come back and find her.
"Come on then, Bella." Rosalie brought her out of her musings as she led her out of the room.
Bella was still unsteady on her feet. The intensity of the injuries had seemed to take a toll on her body as she was underweight and malnourished. There weren't any current issues with her organs, but Carlisle was keeping a watchful eye just in case anything changed.
They were adjusting the volume of nutritional shakes Bella consumed gradually with the tube to reduce the risk of refeeding syndrome.
Bella walked slowly with Esme and Rosalie on each side of her. She was shaking but tried to stay grounded.
Alice was walking ahead of them, pulling the pink suitcase. Carlisle was next to her, the sports bag slung over his shoulder.
Rosalie settled Bella into the backseat of the car once they were outside in the parking lot. She made sure Bella was comfortable before helping Alice load the suitcase into the trunk.
Alice came into the back with Bella, and Esme went with Carlisle to his car.
The Airbnb was only a half hour drive from the hospital and Bella was thankful for that. She was looking forward to being inside a proper house and not a hospital.
Phil and Renée were staying in a motel somewhere in Seattle and Renée had promised to see Bella once she was settled at the house.
Rosalie kept glancing at her in the mirror as they drove, and Bella hated that she was so worried.
She wondered if Rosalie had an interest in learning medicine from Carlisle, because she seemed very tuned in to her needs and wanted to help as much as possible.
Bella felt herself drift in and out of sleep on the drive. She was so tired lately, barely managing to last a few hours before she needed another nap.
When Alice gently nudged her, she sat up quickly, flinching at the unexpected touch but relaxing when she realized it was just Alice.
"Sorry," Alice apologized with a small smile. "But we're here."
Carlisle's car was parked in front of them in the driveway, and Esme was making her way towards them.
She opened Bella's door and held out her hands, waiting.
Bella took them slowly, trying to find the strength to stand. When she was safely out of the car, Rosalie came and joined them, offering Bella more support in case she couldn't bear weight. "Welcome home, Bella." Esme smiled softly. "Well, temporarily home."
Bella smiled back, looking towards the house. It was large, but nowhere near the size of the Cullen home back in Forks.
As they went inside, Bella observed that the front room was a similar size to the one in Charlie's house, rather than the Cullen house. It was small but cozy.
"Hi Bella!" Emmett bellowed. Bella wasn't surprised to see him and Jasper on the couch with game controllers in their hands. "Look, they've even got a games console here for you. You'll have a great time."
Bella almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she restrained herself. "Looks good, Emmett."
Esme helped settle her on the other couch and she drew her knees to her chest, watching the TV as the boys played. "We can have a look around the rest of the house later." Esme told her. "Just take your time."
Bella nodded, but turned as Edward came down the stairs.
"Bella." He smiled warmly at her, his eyes swirling with concern and happiness.
She smiled back, grateful that Edward was there with her. She hoped it wouldn't be long and she would feel comfortable with him being near her.
She wanted to reach out to him and run a hand through his thick, messy hair. She bit hard on her lip as her body tensed at the thought of going near him. She hated it. She hated what Charlie had done to her. She hated how she would never be worthy for Edward.
"Bella," Carlisle was in front of her now and she realized she had gotten caught up in her musings again. "We will need to do your feed shortly. We can do it upstairs where it's more private if you'd like. Do you want me to flush some painkillers through at the same time?"
Bella shook her head. "No thanks, Carlisle." Her burns were excruciatingly sore but she pushed the pain down, reminding herself that she deserved it.
Carlisle frowned but didn't press the matter.
Rosalie sat down beside her after helping Alice take her bags upstairs. "Alice is just going to unpack everything for you, so that you will feel more at home…" Rosalie trailed off, her face looking sad. "I mean, so it's more homely for you."
Bella wondered why she was sad for a second, before understanding that Rosalie thought she wouldn't want to feel more at home, because home meant Charlie.
"It's okay." Bella touched her hand gently. "That's very kind of her."
Bella continued to watch the TV screen as the house fell silent. Emmett was beating Jasper at the game and was almost bouncing out of his seat as he tried to get closer to the screen.
Bella found it quite amusing watching them, and everything in the world seemed right for a few seconds.
"Bella," Alice called when she was halfway down the stairs. "Your room is done. Do you want to come see and then Carlisle can sort you out?"
Bella nodded, moving so she could work on getting up from the couch.
Rosalie stepped in quickly, pulling Bella to her feet and encasing an arm around her waist. "You're going to love it."
Alice walked backwards up the stairs, her tiny hands grasping Bella's as they went. Rosalie followed behind them, her hand hovering on Bella's back in case she fell.
When they got to the landing, Bella stopped to look around. There were 6 doors, all of them closed apart from one.
Alice seemed to understand where her thoughts were heading. "Carlisle and Esme have a room, Rosalie and Emmett, and Jasper and I. Edward and you each have your own rooms. There's a shared bathroom but most of the rooms have an ensuite."
Bella nodded as Alice guided her to the room with the open door. She didn't know how she felt about being alone, but it was something she would have to work on. She couldn't be scared for the rest of her life.
Bella took in the room slowly. It wasn't anything special, but it had a double bed that had been made up with floral bedding and a large fluffy comforter. There was a small couch under the window and built-in wardrobes along the wall. There was also a door leading to the small ensuite. It would be home for the next few weeks at least.
"I got you a stuffie." Alice said, walking over to the bed and picking up a giraffe toy. She handed it over to Bella. "I thought it may help."
"Thank you." Bella smiled, running a hand along the toy. It was very soft and Bella was touched by the gesture. It would definitely bring her comfort.
Carlisle came in behind them, moving over to the dresser and pulling the feeding supplies out. "I've put everything over here so we can access things better. The milk, tubing, tube stickers, syringes, dressings, cream, prescriptions. There are some emergency supplies in the bottom but we shouldn't need them. Are you ready to do a feed?"
As Bella nodded and sat down on the bed with Rosalie, Alice excused herself with a small wave.
Bella didn't know what to think of the tube feeds. Eating was the last thing on her mind, and before going to the hospital she had been doing it to try and stabilize her weight more than anything else. She knew she was dangerously underweight, but she was past the point of caring. Bella was just a shell of herself since Charlie had destroyed everything she had. She frankly had given up caring.
Once the syringe was connected to Bella's tube and Carlisle had flushed through some water, he poured in some of the milk, letting gravity pull it down. He kept repeating this until the milk bottle was empty. He had asked Bella about pain meds again to which she declined, before he flushed more water and disconnected the syringe.
The tube wasn't irritating Bella much. She always felt it there, tickling her nose and rubbing her throat as she swallowed, but it had almost become normal.
Carlisle slowly sat down next to her, on her other side. "Bella." He sounded serious, so Bella moved her eyes to his face. "We need to talk about why you are refusing pain meds."
Bella blinked at him, before looking at Rosalie, who also looked concerned. She turned back to Carlisle. "Because I'm not in pain?"
"We all know that's not true." Carlisle wasn't accusing, he just sounded worried. "You don't need to be strong, Bella. It's okay to be in pain."
Bella swallowed, trying to give herself time to think. "I don't want pain meds."
"Do you want to tell me why, Bella?" Carlisle asked gently.
Bella shrugged. "I don't see a reason to when I'm not in pain. I'll ask if I want them, I promise." She was gripping the giraffe in her hands, worried they would shake with her lies.
Carlisle frowned and seemed conflicted, but he didn't press the subject anymore as he stood up. "Alright. Please just let me, or anybody, know if you need them. I'll give you some space to settle."
Rosalie went to stand, but Bella quickly grabbed her hand. "Stay, please."
"Of course." Rosalie sunk back down on the bed.
"Can you…maybe read something for me? A magazine, or anything, I don't mind. Just…my eye makes it hard at the moment." Bella felt embarrassed to ask, wondering if Rosalie would find it extremely boring, but she stood immediately and went to a shelf full of magazines and a few books. Bella suspected Alice had put them there when she was unpacking.
"Of course Bella, get comfy on the bed. I'll sit over here by the window." Rosalie picked up a magazine and flicked through the pages for a few seconds before coming to a stop.
As she started reading aloud, Bella drew her knees up to her chest, pulling the fluffy comforter around her, still clutching the giraffe. She rested her head on her knees, pushing herself back against the wall.
Bella vaguely listened to Rosalie's reading as she went over and over in her head what Charlie had done to her. What Charlie had taken away from her.
Charlie. Her dad.
Bella felt sick. She didn't know how to heal; how to start being the girl from Phoenix again.
She repeated the images over and over, torturing herself until she gave into the darkness of sleep.